You'll be so cosy.
Just so you know, I've emptied
Poppy's baby grows from the washing
machine and put a load of nappies in.
OK.
I've also fed her,
bathed her, changed her,
sung to her.
Right.
So could you watch her now, please?
Matt, could you watch her, please?
There's Captain Stripes -
she loves him.
Oh, my head's splitting.
What?
What kind of splitting?
Just the usual.
OK. Do we need to call someone?
No, I just need to lie down.
BABY COOS
You see, now I get it.
Pardon? Where you get those glutes from.
Oh, right, yeah. Well, they were pretty weedy before.
Oh, I doubt that. No, they were.
I joined a gym to try and buff up a bit
but I kind of stopped going.
I think I went once in three months.
Yeah, yeah, I'm the same, it'such a waste of time.
I mean, how are we going to get our
beach bodies for summer, eh?
I can think of a few ways.
Easy, tiger.
I was talking about lifting weights at home.
Yeah, of course you were.
You got to get yourself some dumbbells.
So you reckon Max-Lift adjustable dumbbells?
Only if you think you're man
enough to lift them.
Hi. Hi.
Oh, they're full of the joys.
Mind you, I heard you laughing last night,
albeit rather loudly.
Sorry. Did I keep you up?
Was that Courtney?
My dad. Ah, is he all right?
Yeah.
Really good. He sounded like...
actually happy.
Any particular reason?
I think just helping my Aunt Liz in the shop.
Makes him feel like he's got
something to get up for in the morning.
A sense of purpose. Yeah.
I mean, that and a wage packet.
Yes, also very important.
I could almost hear him smiling on the phone.
Aw that's very sweet.
But it's also nice seeing you smiling as well.
Thanks.
I do worry about him though, like,
if the work dries up and then he falls back into debt.
Will you stop worrying about him?
This is your time now, without guilt,
to have some proper fun, please.
OK.
BABY CRIES
Why haven't you picked her up?
Have you checked her nappy?
What are you actually doing, Matt?
She's been crying her heart out.
Handle's wobbly.
It's been like that for months.
And now I'm fixing it.
I'll see to her in a minute.
She's safe, isn't she?
Doesn't stop you giving her a hug.
Yeah, well, you do things your way,
I do things mine.
Have you thought about that new dads
group I showed you on the laptop?
I've got too much to do.
Right.
Well, I'll have to take her to the doctors with me, then.
Shush, shush, shush.
And if all you're doing is DIY,
you might as well get back into work
and get paid for it.
Can I just check everyone else is signed in?
Yes? Thank you. Good.
Ah, Damien.
Can we also just thank Damien for the butties?
Thank you very much. Yes, thank you, Damien.
I was worried there'd be a "Do Not Feed The Dads" sign.
Ah, well, luckily not.
So, hello, everyone.
My name is Ruhma, this is Doctor Sid Vere.
Most of you know us from the Mill Health Centre
but I know some of your partners
from my walking group.
Thanks for coming everyone.
I hope today isn't too daunting.
Look, today is really just about being a dad,
getting some exercise and getting a
bit of moral support. You know?
Now I am a parent, so I know all about,
well, what it's like to be caught
up in that daily slog.
I know it is relentless.
Which is why we think it's a good idea
to get together with other people in
the same boat and just do some activities,
share some parenting stories.
You know, as a way of getting moving and having a bit of a laugh.
So we're going to start by having
a little stroll in the park.
What I want you to do is to partner up with someone
and I want you to tell them your
best parenting tip.
Sounds good to me. Thank you.
Hey, come on, what's not to like,
walking round the park with a few blokes?
It's hard enough getting five minutes in the garden
without some baby-related incident.
Absolutely. Thank you, Damien.
Yeah, we're just going to get a bit of a breather
and we're going to maybe learn something.
OK, so let's go, let's go.
Damien, have you done this kind of thing before?
No, no, I just like the idea of it.
We want the best for our kids, don't we?
Listen, would you do me a favour?
Would you mind going and saying hello to Jun?
Jun, yeah. Thanks, mate.
KAREN LAUGHS
Oh, my days.
I'm sorry.
My house has just officially gone on the market.
It's all right, I'm not going to be
chucking you out just yet.
I wasn't worried. Yeah, you were.
No, I wasn't. Tell your face!
Look at you two.
Those lovely smiles.
All right, what are you after?
Nothing, Karen. I've just had a few
difficult patients this morning.
And seeing your happy faces has brightened up my day.
Do you think he's always like this?
I think he's trying to be nice.
I'm not, I'm being serious.
Mr Penworth.
Honestly, you're both a breath of fresh air.
Are you for real?
Ooh, harsh.
Drama queen as well, then?
Please, never let me get on the wrong side of you.
Don't worry, I wouldn't even let
you on the right side.
You sure about that? Positive.
Well, that is a shame, Scarlett.
All right, I suppose it is a bit
weird being thrown together with a
bunch that you might not have that much in common with.
Apart from being dads. True.
Maybe I'm just no good at the socialising stuff.
Hey, lots of us aren't.
Bet you're better at nappies than I am.
What do you mean?
Oh, well, once I took my son
Kai to see his gran, my mum.
She literally throws the nappy at me
and says "Right, show me what you're made of."
What, your new dad skills?
Show off my new dad skills, exactly.
So, here's me fiddling about, trying
to get the thing on straight and she
snatches the nappy off me and says,
"Look, Damien, it's easy, if his
"legs turn blue it's too tight,
"if they turn yellow it's too loose."
Do you two mind if I, erm...
How many kids have you got, Jun?
Two boys, one and three.
And an antenatal appointment coming
up, got another one on the way.
Ah, congratulations. Thanks.
God, you've got loads of experience.
Yeah, but I'm still learning.
That's why you're here.
My wife persuaded me.
She thinks I'm not sociable enough.
And you want to make her happy.
Of course. I'm the same with Alicia.
I hope it helps.
It's hard sometimes.
Chaotic sometimes.
And wonderful.
Here's to that.
Go on, up top.
Yeah.
Do you drink, Jun? Occasionally.
All right. So I think me and you,
we should go out and get a beer sometime.
You can tell me all about
the toddler years. Right? Uh.
Sounds good.
So, we're going to go in and play some games,
we'll just get to know each other.
And when everybody's in there, we'll start.
If that's OK, if that seems all right to you.
Yeah? Any questions?
Well, great, all right, then.
Lovely. Well, I'll see you in a minute.
All right, OK.
Hi. Can I help you?
Erm, I'm here for the dads group.
Oh, right, well, you're in the right place.
I'm Ruhma. Yeah, Matt.
Hello. Lauren Wilde's partner.
Ah, right. Do you want to come and join us?
I'm probably too late.
No, not at all, you're more than welcome.
I didn't bring Poppy with me.
My daughter. That doesn't matter.
Some of the others, they're on their own.
Right. Do you know, it's just a bit of fun,
Matt, we're going to play some games.
There's a nappy tournament, which
erm, it's better than it sounds.
And then we're going to maybe
do a... Mind if I just watch?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.
So we got one of those on our hands, have we?
What?
An office flirt.
Oh.
He keeps it very light-hearted, it's just banter.
Ah. OK.
Although, with certain people...
..he seems to be making a bit more of an effort.
I see.
What? Talking about Suni.
Oh.
And how he's taken a certain shine to someone.
He does it to everyone, all right?
Yeah, but it's mostly you. Rubbish.
He is good looking though, isn't he?
Really? I hadn't noticed.
Give it a rest.
You don't think he's cute then?
No, I didn't say that, but...
So you do think he's cute?
Ah, leave me alone.
LAUGHTER AND CHATTER
WHISTLE BLOWS Congratulations, Jun, you did
that in a total of 8.4 seconds!
Oh, come on, that's an absolute fix!
How did you do that?
Not your thing?
No, not really.
OK. well, you see Jun over there?
He was exactly the same when he got here today.
Just doesn't seem much point. In what?
Like, racing to put on nappies or whatever.
Oh, right. Well, you will be
surprised how useful it is to put
a nappy on in record time.
Especially when you've got a screaming baby, Matt.
It's what being a dad's all about.
Yeah, but it doesn't make you a
better dad though, does it?
No, I agree there's more to it than that but
these games, they help you meet
dads in a similar situation.
WHISTLE BLOWS
Nice one.
We have Raphael, who did it in 12 seconds flat.
How's the little one?
Gorgeous.
Absolutely no trouble -
apart from the baby poo and the
baby sick and the sleepless nights.
Yeah, comes with the territory.
I don't mind.
She cheers me up when I'm feeling...
..well, you know. Yeah.
And how have you been feeling?
Pretty good on the whole.
Sometimes it's a bit tough.
Yea, you've been through a lot,
Lauren, it's going to take time.
It's really good to see you walking again.
Yeah, even though...
Yeah, but you are stronger every
time I see you and that's the main thing.
I know.
So, you're keeping up with your physio exercises?
Great.
OK. So, your blood pressure is a little high.
Really? But it's absolutely fine.
It's perfectly manageable.
I can increase your dose of
Labetalol from 50mg to 100mg, twice
a day as before, and you should soon see a difference.
Never ends, does it?
So this is really about you
sharing tips with each other.
What you think is the best way to
bathe your baby.
Like the safest way to hold them?
Yeah, yeah. So what you what you would need,
how you would do it.
And then I want you to compare it with the other team.
And I just, I want you to learn from each other.
No racing?
No racing on this one, Jun.
It's a really relaxing thing,
to bathe your baby.
Once you get used to it and it gives
your partner a break.
It's a great way to bond and being
hands-on from the start, that is a very important thing.
So, Matt, why don't you go with Jun and Damien?
And another person in that team and
the rest of you are on this table.
Right.
Right. That is your prescription
sent through to your pharmacist. Thanks.
And you say you're continuing with your rehab?
Yes. Great.
We need to try and find a way to
keep your blood pressure down.
I have a three-month-old baby.
Absolutely, but you need also to
look after yourself.
It's that simple? Hmm.
Poppy will benefit as well.
The thing is at your stage of recovery,
your motor skills are still weak, so
you need to adapt how you care for her.
I'm really careful.
Of course you are but you're still a little bit shaky.
So we need to make sure that you're
not changing her on a high surface,
just in case you drop her.
To make sure you get help picking
her up out of the buggy.
And bathing her, you know,
just when you're tired and just for now.
Is Matt around or is he back at work now?
He's still at home. Oh.
And he's being supportive?
All right, let's go through the order again.
Erm, you make sure the room's warm,
then you get everything ready.
Erm, baby wipes, towels, nappy, clothes,
then you run the bath.
Making sure the water's the right
depth and temperature.
Which is...?
For new-borns, eight to ten
centimetres high and 37 degrees.
What, you use a thermometer?
Yeah.
Yeah, Lauren uses her elbow.
She says it's more sensitive than your hand.
You can do that as well.
Then you need to know how to gently
put the baby into the water.
Mine hated it at first
but he soon got used to it.
I'm going to note some of this down.
You can hold the baby's head and
shoulders with one hand to keep them still.
Then you can use the other hand to swish water.
Yeah, Lauren does that too.
Do you leave all of this to your wife, mate?
It's good to talk to them while you're bathing them.
Your voice is really comforting.
Hey...
..hello, Kai.
Daddy's washing your tummy now.
Daddy's washing your little hands and feet.
Don't worry, I get like that too.
I can't put him down sometimes.
I was so proud of Alicia when she
delivered him and then I saw him and...
Both our deliveries were easy
and once I saw their scrunched up little faces...
Aw, totally smitten!
He's not sitting around doing nothing?
No, he's busy...
..just not with us. Ah.
He's literally going round the house
looking for things to fix -
leaky taps, uneven walls,
noisy pipes. Hmm.
Is this new?
Well, he is a builder.
Yeah, yes.
It's getting ridiculous.
And you say he's withdrawn.
Since Poppy.
Have you noticed anything else, like,
irritability, negativity,
not sleeping?
All of them. Hmm.
He doesn't seem to want to see his mates.
Look, Matt's behaviour could be
related to a number of things.
Could be your traumatic delivery,
could be post-natal depression
or even a thyroid disorder.
How open do you think he'd be about
coming to see us here for an appointment?
Thank you all for coming.
I'm so impressed that everybody joined in.
Eventually. Yeah.
Yeah, I hope you all got something out of today,
something you can use at home.
Yeah, thanks to you and Ruhma.
Aw, thank you.
Oh, yes, if anyone wants to join the
group chat do let me know, it's a
ready-made support group.
Would it be all right if I took a
photo of the group?
Yeah? Everyone happy with that?
Squeeze in here. OK, lovely.
So, bunch up, everybody.
Bunch up, bunch up and say "Nappies!"
ALL: Nappies!
Beautiful.
Let's have a look at that.
Really nice photo.
Damien, we didn't quite catch you in there.
That was a great session, thank you.
Apart from crashing out in the old nappy race.
You weren't that far behind.
Thank you, it was a good morning.
Thanks for helping out with him earlier.
He was definitely more cheerful by the end of it.
Yeah, yeah, considering.
What do you mean?
Well, after what he's been through.
His wife kicked him out.
He's not going home to her, he's
going home to a grubby little bedsit.
I didn't realise.
Yeah, she's stopped all contact.
He hasn't seen his kid in months.
Mate, that's awful.
But I tried to encourage him.
I told him he's a good dad and he'll
have contact with his son again.
Yeah, but you can't know that for sure.
I can.
He's got to.
Poor guy.
Probably came here to prepare himself.
You know, just in case they get back together.
Anyway, Doc, thanks for everything.
You're very welcome, Damien.
Oh, and erm, mum's the word yeah, about Jun?
Matt.
Hi.
Hi. So, how did you find it?
Yeah, it was all right.
I mean, I know how to bathe a baby properly.
Oh, different from how you do it now?
OK, so Lauren's been doing it.
It's difficult for her.
She had a stroke after giving birth to Poppy.
Yeah, I heard. I'm sorry.
Yeah, she had pre-eclampsia while she was pregnant
and then her blood pressure shot
through the roof during the delivery and she got a blood clot.
It settled but it left her with hemi...
..paralysed down her right side.
Yeah, hemiplegia. Yeah.
But she's recovering now.
She's walking again.
Yeah, which is good.
So, did you find it helpful
talking to any other dads?
I noticed it's obviously very easy
for them, like, with their kids.
I doubt it. I don't think it's
an easy ride for anyone.
Some easier than others. How do you mean?
I mean they're all really into their babies.
What, and you're not?
Listen, erm...
..I would love to talk to you a bit more.
So why don't you come back in,
have another cup of coffee
and I'll give you first dibs on the biscuits?
Please.
Yeah, OK.
Thanks. Come on.
Karen, stop!
Sorry, but I was just thinking about
what we said this morning,
that it's time you had some fun.
What are you on about?
You know exactly what I'm talking about.
He was...
He was just messing around.
Well, I'm not so sure.
And you could do a lot worse.
Whatever. All right, whatever.
But if you do invite him round,
will you let me and Rob know
so we can get our earplugs in?
You're not talking about Suni are you?
Don't take him seriously.
It's all chat, it's just his sense of humour. See?
What did I tell you?
Oh, he seemed pretty keen to me.
Honestly, it means nothing.
He just wants to get on with
everyone, that's all.
Hope you don't mind but, erm...
..Ruhma mentioned Lauren's had a stroke recently.
Yeah.
I'm really sorry. It must be a
stressful time for you both.
Damien brought enough biscuits
to last for weeks.
Matt, I get the impression that
since Lauren's stroke you've found
it hard to bond with Poppy?
No.
It's not that, it's just Poppy needs her mum.
She's unlikely to be discriminate.
I think both of you interacting with
her regularly is better than one person.
No, you don't get it.
As long as Poppy depends on Lauren,
then Lauren has a reason to recover.
Matt, if you back off too much
and leave everything to her, then
the less time she can devote to recovering.
Yeah, I'm a bad partner as well as a
dad, tell me something I don't know.
Nobody said that.
Yeah, but it's true, isn't it?
You've witnessed the person you love
go through a horrific ordeal.
So don't underestimate how traumatic
that's been for you.
And from what you're saying and from what I'm hearing,
I think it's possible that you're
suffering from post-natal depression.
It wasn't me who gave birth.
No, but it is a lot more
common than you think.
I mean, lots of fathers suffer from
depression once a child comes along.
I'm not that type.
There's no type, Matt.
You've had a huge upheaval in your life.
It might be worth you making
an appointment at The Mill.
You know, we can talk about it more there.
And just know that helping yourself
means helping Lauren and Poppy.
Everything, everything that you
have talked to us about today...
..Matt, you need to communicate that with Lauren.
You're doing it again.
What? Showing off those glutes.
I mean, this is becoming a bit of a regular thing.
Or maybe the regular thing is you
turning up at these moments.
Happy coincidence but I'm not complaining.
Well, you know what they say -
if you've got it, flaunt it.
Glad you two are getting to know each other.
He started it.
Right, better be getting on.
You seem to have clicked.
DOOR SHUTS
Where've you been?
I left messages, I've been really worried.
I'm sorry.
I need your help and you just disappear.
I know.
I went to that group...
..that dad's group.
Why?
Because you wanted me to.
Was it helpful?
If you can call mucking about helpful.
Well, did you talk to anyone nice?
Depends what you mean by nice.
What did the doctor say?
My blood pressure's up again.
He's adjusted my medication.
And we talked about you.
I know you won't like this but...
Dr Granger thinks you might be
struggling to cope after Poppy's birth.
Do you think you might be?
It's you who's been struggling.
It's OK, you know?
If you're feeling down...
No, it's, erm...
..no, it's not just that.
Like, some of the guys today were talking about
how close they were to their babies.
You know?
Like, lifting them up, holding them,
smelling them.
They seemed really into it.
It's what happens.
Not to me.
Could that be the depression speaking?
But it's you she needs.
No.
It's not just me!
You're her dad!
Hey.
Erm...
..I just can't get that image out of my head...
..at the hospital.
Erm...
..Poppy had just been born and I was...
I was so proud of you.
I know.
And then...
And then you said you felt sick.
And you got confused.
And...
..then you couldn't feel your arm or leg.
And you started slurring, Lauren.
And I just kept thinking, if it wasn't for Poppy...
That's not her fault.
That's no-one's fault.
Matt, you can't link that memory
to your daughter, it's not fair.
You need to get some help for this.
I know.
Yeah, I know.
Hey...
you know that baby thing, with the..
..the lifting and the smelling and all that? Mm-hm.
You should try it.
Mm-hm.
POPPY COOS
Hey, I thought that went really well today.
Aw, thanks.
Put me down to stay involved, please.
That's great.
And those games definitely helped.
Well, that is what I hoped.
Apparently, men are more open when
they're active and not being forced
into scary eye contact.
Oh, well, it certainly worked with Damien.
Yeah, he seemed sorted, didn't he?
I mean, he's got such a lovely relationship
with his son, Kai.
It is always good to have
a happy dad in a group.
I'm Marissa, Jamie's mum.
Jamie's told me all about you.
I want to bring something new to the Mill, peer review.
Oh. Really?
Don't look at me.
And? And what?
What do I think of him?
This isn't about me, this is about my patient.
But if you won't give me his name...
That has to be his decision.
Then how am I supposed to help?!