So, basically, right, there's this girl...
Great daytime cruising spot.
Sorry, go on.
There's this girl that I want to ask out.
She's mates with a friend of mine who she works with...
I ain't seen her for ages,
and I just can't stop thinking about her.
You've hired the right guy.
You know they call me the Seduction Guru?
Yeah, I saw on your website.
And you just want to hook up with this girl?
I just want to ask her out.
You know, it's a bit lame, but I've never had a girlfriend.
The longer it is, the harder it is, you know?
That's why I offer my services, Sam.
To help lads like you
get over their fear of females. It's my calling.
Trust me, by the time we're through,
you'll have an ocean of women to choose from.
Honestly, I...
I'd just be happy if Scarlett went out with me.
Scarlett.
That's her name, is it, this unicorn?
I'm teasing you, Sam.
Look, I want you to have any girl that you want,
but sure, let's start with this Scarlett.
Why don't we pay her a visit?
Did he even say what time he'll be in?
No details. This is classic Ollie.
Left the Army... What does he mean?
And how long's he back for?
I don't think they're even allowed a break for the first six weeks.
So what, he's been fired? Or has he quit?
And if he has, what then?
How does this even work?
Maybe he's just changing bases?
I've got to go.
I'm sure he'll explain when he gets here.
He's been about as transparent as a brick so far...
Call me as soon as he gets in, OK?
Will do.
So, you and Courtney did what last night? Stayed in
and watched the telly again? What's wrong with that?
Well, you're young!
You should be out, enjoying yourself, having a bit of fun.
Mind you, I will say,
it was very nice having the house to myself with Rob.
Spare me the details.
I wasn't going to give you any!
Morning.
Morning!
Have you got an appointment? No appointment.
I'm Nina, and you are...? Er...
Erm, I'm Karen Hollins.
Great to meet you, Karen. And...?
Scarlett.
Fab! The dream team.
Is Zara in?
I'm afraid Doctor Carmichael's not in till later on.
Oh, really? She didn't mention that.
Do you need an appointment to see a doctor?
It's Zara I need. She's a friend.
More kindred spirit, actually.
We were in the incident together.
At the medical conference?
No...the explosion?!
Mm. Hell of a shock.
Oh, I'm so sorry!
But Karen, Scarlett, we survived.
I mean, of course, it was utter hell.
But in many ways, extraordinarily life affirming.
Oh, my goodness. I can't imagine
what that must have been...
Would you like to wait?
Perfect! I've got a bit of work to do.
Is there somewhere a little more private I could go?
Erm, yes.
Let me see what I can do.
Erm...
Is he home?
Yeah, he's here.
He's just having a brew.
So, he's in one piece then? What happened?
He really wants to tell you himself.
He's looking forward to seeing you.
So, nothing bad?
Let him tell you, Kirst.
We'll come and meet you for lunch. OK.
The Icon at one?
Right, see you there.
But trust me, everything's fine.
How much trouble am I in?
I would not want to be you, mate.
But she'll come round.
It was shocking.
A deafening blow, and then total silence.
Dust everywhere.
The smell has stayed with me.
Smoke, of course, but also a kind of hot plasticky stench...
That's terrible.
It was, Karen, but we cope.
When something like this happens,
the key is to look for humanity, for those helping others.
You see, I was calm, but that's the kind of person I am.
A lot of people weren't.
No, of course they weren't.
When Zara was trapped under that door, I just reacted.
It was instinct. Primal.
I knew we both had to survive.
Anyone else want one? Sid?
No, I'm good. Thanks.
You were there, Sid, so you can identify.
When you experience this level of trauma with another human,
you really are bonded for life.
Zara feels like a sister to me now.
Well, it just sounds traumatic.
I'm so sorry that you went through that.
I've got a mum coming in, so excuse me...
It was lovely to meet you, Ruhma. And you.
I should probably get on too.
We're probably all going to become very familiar with each other...
Sorry, why's that?
Well, I shouldn't really say anything....
Right, well. I'm going to get going...
But I do feel we've bonded already!
OK, then, just between us...
..Zara has invited me to become a partner.
What, here?
Looks like I'm going to become your new boss!
Your eyes are the same colour as my Porsche.
Porsche?! How's that going to work?
I don't even have a bike!
And I don't own my own car, but do you think I tell them that?
You're suggesting that you do,
and you're flattering her at the same time.
Women buy into this stuff, believe me.
And commenting on her eyes is a guaranteed opener.
You want to charm her, lock her in...
"Scarlett, you and me are really vibing.
"I'm feeling it. I know you are too."
You really think she'll go for it? I know she will.
It's simple. The aim is to get her to say yes in five minutes.
Focus on that irresistible vibe.
Build chemistry.
So, eyes, vibe, chemistry.
Got it.
Eyes, vibe, chemistry.
Sam?
Hi... Hi, Scarlett.
Haven't seen you for ages! I know, yeah...
It must be, er, Billy's party? Mad.
Are you here to see a doctor, then?
No, actually, I, er...
I came to see you.
Really?
Yeah. You've got great eyes, by the way.
They're like the same colour as my car...
I've definitely got a car.
Thanks...
So, erm, what's your vibe now?
What's my what?
Your vibe?
Don't worry.
I was going to ask actually if you, erm,
maybe sometime wanted to... You know, only if you wanted to..
I mean, you know, maybe you don't and that's fine,
I just thought maybe, sometime we could, er...
Do you know what? Don't worry.
You've got a...patient. A person.
So, I might come back
and, yeah...
No, wait, because, I mean, I'm only going to be a minute.
No, don't worry. You're busy. And I'm busy too... So busy!
And you're, like, mega busy, so maybe I'll...
Yeah. See you around. Maybe.
All right? Cool. Cheers!
S...
Sorry.
That was bad.
Really bad. My heart is thumping! I can't do this!
You're panicking. Take a deep breath.
We're going back in.
What? No!
No way. That was too much!
Look, this is what you pay me for.
I read women,
and she wants you.
Really?
What's the local pub?
The Icon.
You're going to go back in and say this...
You and me. Tonight. At The Icon.
It's that simple?
It's that simple.
Don't even give her time to think about it.
Hang on, let me get this straight.
This woman... Nina.
..says that Zara and Daniel...
I think it was just Zara.
Trust me. If it's Zara, it'll be the two of them.
No, it was just Zara.
..says that she's partner?
She introduced herself as the new boss.
Yeah, she seemed pretty sure.
They just decided, what, she's the right fit and that's it?
No communication,
no consultation, no opportunity for us to vet?
I'm sorry, mate. I know this affects you more than anyone.
Oh, whoa, no! Wait until the others find out.
What's the process?
And what do we even know about her?
Her credentials?
Her experience?
Apparently, she is a doctor.
Think she was married to a surgeon?
Anyway, they probably all go to the same golf club.
Why does this keep happening?
You know, maybe we wait until they're all here.
She could have got the wrong end of the stick.
I don't know. They've got form.
Sutton Vale?
Exactly.
This is what they do!
Hey!
I'm going to The Icon tonight for a drink
and I think you should come as well.
Tonight.
I already said tonight, haven't I?
You did.
A drink?
Yeah. You and me.
Yeah, all right.
Really?
Yeah, why not?
Right! OK!
See you tonight then.
See you. See you later.
You're a genius! She said yes!
Naturally! You're learning from the best.
Now, we need to talk date strategy.
Cool. I'm game.
"Everything's fine."
Don't have a go at Dad.
He wanted to see you.
Is it sore? It's a fracture, so, yeah.
Oh, love. How?
It's a training exercise.
Just an accident, really.
I've done one of these wall climbs before,
but I'm carrying a 30lbs sack and it's high -
it's like 15 foot at least, and I missed my footing.
You know, I landed on it at a completely weird angle.
It's embarrassing.
Honestly, like, they even had to carry me off.
Where's the fracture?
My right metatarsal.
Is it still swollen? What about physio?
Are you on painkillers? Yeah.
What sort? I don't know. Like, paracetamol? And, yeah, some physio.
What's the recovery period? Can we stop with the third degree, please?
But who's looking after you?
I'd have thought they'd have kept you at the base.
What? What's with the look?
I'm out, Mum.
What do you mean "out"? Of the army.
What, permanently?
They can't do that, can they?
Well, they have.
And you knew about this this morning? Yes, but...
Don't have a go at him!
It's my life!
Exactly, it's your life! So this is it, is it?
Your entire career down the pan?
What are you going to do now?
I'm going to get the bill.
Bear! Karen told me this is where you might be hiding.
The man in the know!
Love the trousers.
Thanks.
Just wanted to say hello.
Are Zara and Daniel back yet?
Not yet. But as soon as they are, we'll all have a sit down.
You know, you're almost as funny as my ex.
Call me...later...
..yeah?
Maybe I will.
How do you do that?
I'm a pro.
Right, tonight with Scarlett,
be gentle, but insistent.
See how this feels?
What, you think Scarlett will let me touch her?
It's your right, Sam.
Treat her like you're going out already.
Get close.
Then the winning tactic?
You start negging her. Start what?
Negging.
It's kind of like a backhanded compliment.
You say something like,
"I don't normally go for women like you,
"but tonight I'll make an exception."
I mean, I don't normally go for any women...
What are you not getting, Sam?
The truth is irrelevant.
It's making Scarlett think what you want her to think.
And start checking out other women -
play into Scarlett's insecurities,
make her feel vulnerable.
Right.
So, I want to make her think I'm not interested, even though I am?
Exactly.
Then it's time to get what you want.
Sam, if you follow these stages,
Scarlett will be putty in your hands.
It doesn't make sense.
Why would she assume that you recruited her?
She's just got a bit ahead of herself.
And how?
Well, if you would let me explain...
What exactly have you said to her? Nothing!
Not really...
Nina and I have suffered a trauma.
The explosion was horrific.
And, like it or not, it's connected us.
And so we have talked about life, and about work,
and it is just possible, I suppose,
that at some point, I may have mentioned
that we might be looking for a new partner.
But I didn't think anything was definite yet.
Yeah, it did sound like an agreement has already been made.
Well, it hasn't,
and I certainly didn't expect her to just turn up unannounced!
So, what does your son do?
Zara! How was training?
Nina.
Fine, thank you.
I did not expect to see you today!
I know, but I was dying to have a look.
Daniel! Good to see you again.
So much to discuss.
Mm, so I understand.
And have you met Sid, and Bear?
Absolutely! We're all getting on like a house on fire.
I've been talking plans...
Wonderful.
There are a few issues I've picked up on.
Nothing that can't be sorted.
Unfortunately, we've all got afternoon surgery,
so how about you and I and Daniel meet this evening
to discuss things over a drink?
Ideal.
We'll need a face-to-face.
Bye, team!
Nothing's been agreed.
"A few issues"?
We were completely out of cheese triangles!
LAUGHTER
And he called it a butter bean stew!
Oh, God!
THEY LAUGH
You're back! Hi.
You need to put that up.
He was just helping me.
Spag bol tonight.
And if you're on painkillers, you really shouldn't be drinking.
I can handle it, Mum. It'll be all right.
Rich, please.
I've been thinking. It makes no sense why they won't have you back.
It's complicated. It shouldn't be.
They must have injuries all the time.
I can't physically do the training, can I?
For now. But it will heal.
The thing is, Ollie,
you're not being very clear about what's happened.
I'd like to call them.
What? No, you can't!
If you call them, it'll make me look so much worse.
It's bad enough this has happened without you embarrassing me!
Don't take that tone.
You've only been home for two minutes!
Can we all just take it down a level, please?
Let's have a nice night, the three of us.
And then I got the job, and I don't think
they could do without me there now, to be honest.
Have I got something on my face?
No.
You look fine.
Why are you sat all the way over there?
What? Do you want me to sit next to you?
I don't think we'd both fit on your chair.
So, how come you never asked me out before?
I was intimidated.
And... And, you know, I had loads of girlfriends,
so I didn't really have the time.
I never saw you with any other girls.
No? No.
But you're all right with me having other girlfriends?
Is that supposed to impress me?
You know, I really like your hair,
but I think it would look better shorter.
Well, I like my hair like this, so...
I'm glad you said yes today because...
I don't normally go for women like you.
No.
No, I do go for girls like you, but...
Oh, hang on...
You all right? You're acting really weird.
Just nervous, I guess.
Well...relax.
It's only a drink.
Did you hear about the bear that went into the bar?
And he asked for a whiskey and..
..cola.
And the barman says,
"Why the big pause?"
That's a proper dad joke!
I like it when you smile.
I'll tell you something else that'd make me smile.
Another drink?
Yeah? Yeah. Definitely!
I've got load more jokes. I'll think of some when I'm at the bar. OK!
I'm heartbroken for him.
All that work. We'll figure it out.
I want to get him back in.
Well, this is something he'll have to sort out for himself.
Rich, this is his entire future! I know.
It's rough. It's make or break for him.
To be honest, Kirst, I'm a little bit worried, him seeing me
sleeping in the spare room.
Look, hear me out.
I don't think we should tell him about our...
..whatever this is.
It could hurt him.
And we can use this as an opportunity for all of us to reset.
An opportunity?
I can't believe you're using Ollie to play that card.
We're separated - that's what this is.
Nothing's changed.
We're telling him tomorrow.
Where am I supposed to sleep tonight?
One night only.
She wants another drink!
What's this?
We want to loosen her up.
What, don't you trust me?
I don't think she's buying all this negging stuff.
Now, the jokes, on the other hand... Sam.
You're friend-zoning -
massive fail.
And you're going to go home alone.
Stop giving her control,
start chipping away at her self-esteem.
Not too aggressive. Look, I get that, but...
You've seen how many women I've picked up today alone?
Do you want to get results,
or do you want to be a scared virgin for the rest of your life?
I want results.
Go in stronger and make a move.
Thanks.
So, what sort of stuff are you into?
Apart from reception work.
I'm not really into reception work.
No. It's not really a hobby, is it?
I meant, like, fishing, or...
I'm not really into fishing either.
You know, if you lost five pounds you'd be well fit.
Are you saying that I'm fat?
Fat?
No! No, I...
I think you're perfect.
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed a little space?
OK. I've got one for you.
How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb?
What is that?!
That's like, straight vodka! What are you playing at?!
I didn't... Look, I...
Do you know what? Forget that drink.
Wait, Scarlett! I didn't buy you that drink.
You're a nice guy, Sam, but...
I'm going to go.. What?!
Don't even think about following me!
No, wait! Scarlett!
I'm sorry!
I can share the proposed strategy with you next week.
Now, I understand this might be met with consternation
by some of your team,
but this is where we need to work together,
to convince them that these improvements will benefit everyone
in the long run.
I appreciate all the thought you've put into this,
but I'm not sure we're looking to make such dramatic changes.
Do you know, before the explosion I felt a similar lassitude
towards my working life...
Oh, it's not... Losing my husband,
sat on policy boards and committees,
I didn't realise how little I was utilising my skill-set.
I'm an experienced practitioner and people manager,
and the three of us will do wonders.
I see this is an opportunity for all of us.
It all sounds great.
I think we just need some more time to talk it all through.
It's so important to be open-minded, Daniel.
Zara and I meeting in the way we did - our connection -
the universe has clearly spoken.
This really is meant to be.
I just said not to follow me!
Look, can I just explain? Explain what?
You've called me fat, told me I need a haircut,
said you don't even fancy women like me,
you bought me a glass of basically straight vodka,
then, what, jump on me?! I didn't buy you that drink!
Who did then? It doesn't matter.
Look...you were laughing at my jokes, right?
I thought you wanted to stay. I just assumed you were up for it!
Up for what exactly, Sam?
I don't know what I'm doing! Obviously!
There's this guy, right?
I basically hired this guy to help ask you out
because I didn't know how.
He said I had to do all these things to get you to like me.
Have you cracked?
Why does everyone else manage to get a girlfriend?
I literally have no idea how to talk to women.
My mum left when I was six.
I never even met my gran.
Girls at school were like from another planet.
I... I just get so nervous.
Sam!
He calls himself the Seduction Guru.
What? The Seduction Guru?!
What does that even mean?!
I've paid him loads!
And he brought you that drink. And I didn't know. I'm sorry.
He bought it? All right, darling. We've had some fun,
but Sam's got real work to do now.
Home time.
I'm not your darling.
Oh, she bites!
You know, you are pretty cute.
Do you do tricks?
Can't make you disappear, unfortunately.
Where do you get off spiking drinks? Do you think I'm stupid?
Just trying to loosen you up, babe.
I mean, let's face it, your type?
Working class girl, Letherbridge,
what's the ultimate goal?
Two point four kids and some small-minded local lad?
I'm sorry, is he for real?
I'd be lucky to find a local lad.
When I look at you I see a sad, lonely crank who, what?
Needs a textbook and some cheap tricks to chat up random women?
I'm guessing because they don't want to go out with you
in the first place and your mum probably never loved you.
Look, If I wanted you, I could have you.
You're ten a penny.
Back off her.
Are you for real?
She's not worth it.
Oh, yeah, and who have you got?
Five a week, mate. Plenty.
That's not what I want. I want a connection with someone,
a relationship. You don't get it, do you?
Women let you down.
You're in for a lifetime of disappointment and heartbreak.
See, I reckon you wake up every morning alone, just like me.
The only difference between me and you?
You'll always be on your own.
You've been manipulated.
Yeah, well,
if it means I'm not like you, I'll take it.
Off you go then.
Sweetheart.
Your loss.
What an actual freak.
You had a right go!
Yeah, course I did! He shouldn't be allowed out!
That's why you're brilliant. Sam, please, don't start again!
Look, I'm sure you'll find someone who likes your dad jokes
enough to go out with you.
Did you hear about the guy that got addicted to the hokey pokey?
He turned himself around.
They just keep coming, don't they?
I'm sorry, Scarlett.
I'll be in touch on Monday.
Why don't you wait until we contact you?
We'll call.
Can't wait.
Daniel, you take care now.
Look after this one. Speak next week!
She's a force.
A force? More like a tsunami.
But she's come along at exactly the right moment.
She wants to make far too many changes. That we need.
Not like this.
What more could you possibly want?
She has all the attributes we're looking for,
and we've got no other leads.
I just don't understand what it is you're not seeing.
OK. I think it's unfair
that you assume this decision has already been made.
At this point, how long have we been looking?
She's enthusiastic!
That's a good thing.
Why don't you see that this is going to help with our workload?
And potentially be an enormous relief to both of us.
It's not happening. Not like this, and NOT with Nina.
Mm-hm.
So, what do you suggest?
This country is experiencing a shortage of doctors,
and I for one want to be out there
helping those we do have as much as I can.
The Haskinator! Swamp Monster!
Don't you think Ollie's got enough on his plate with his injury?
I think he'd rather know the truth
than feel we were keeping secrets from him.