[Singing Peace Train]
Coming through, heavy packs!
Out of our way, peace boy!
No offense, love the song, carry on.
And wuss patrol, halt.
I have never known such pain.
We are so not walking around Europe with those things on our backs.
How are we going to backpack through Europe without backpacks?
When we talked about backpacking, I never pictured us with backpacks.
What were you picturing?
Spry, accommodating European men with neat mustaches...
trailing after us, carrying our luggage, hailing taxicabs...
reminding us of how beautiful we are.
It's just the two of us humping our backpacks around.
At least my new walking shoes are all broken in.
- If you count broken skin, broken toes... - Don't do that.
Don't do what?
Don't take your shoes off in a restaurant.
There's no "no shirt, no shoes, no service" sign.
- It's right here. Don't do that. - We're in pain, Luke.
It's great you're bearing it so nobly. And can you move these?
- Can? No. - Would if we could? Debatable.
Look at that. Spry and accommodating.
Would you grow a mustache and follow us around Europe?
- Sorry, I got travel plans of my own. - Really?
I'm closing the diner for two weeks and taking Nicole on a trip.
Fun.
We'll drive through western Canada, then take a cruise up to Alaska.
- A cruise? - Intimate.
I guess. Is it?
[Singing] The Love Boat What?
A cruise is a good spot to get down on one knee.
- And do my ventriloquist act? - And propose.
- I have no plans to propose. - You don't now.
After you've had dinner at Captain Stubing's table...
and Isaac's served you a couple of Mojitos...
Romantic cruises say commitment.
I am not committing and I am not proposing, so drop it.
- Okay, it's dropped. - Really, drop it.
- Didn't I say it's dropped? - I heard it.
Thank you.
[Singing] The Love Boat
If you had a radio I wouldn't have to do that.
Your graduation's Wednesday at 4:00, correct?
- You don't have to go to it. - I want to.
I feel I've been through this Chilton thing with you.
Good, I want you there.
- Good. So what do you want? - Are you hungry?
- I'm just sore. - Let's go home and rest.
- Wait, don't leave these. - Store them for us.
Till we hire a flatbed truck to carry them home.
- No. - Left foot hurts, right foot hurts.
- Carry me. - You carry me.
- You carry me. Come on. - No, you carry me.
- What is taking him so long? - I don't know. Luke, come on!
I walked right into a cobweb.
- What's the shape of the place? - It was a really big cobweb.
Terrible. So what's the story?
- Is there a spider on me? - Suck it up, big guy, tell us the scoop.
- It's not so bad. - So it's not so good.
- Not so bad is not so good. - No really, it's not bad.
- The floors... - Are rotted!
- They need replacing. - It's a disaster.
The floors are fine. They need refinishing...
but they're really nice quartersawn oak floors.
- And the roof? - The roof...
- Is shot. - It's caving in.
- The walls, too. - With our hopes and dreams.
The roof is fine.
Some shingles need replacing, but that's the extent of it.
- Almost done here. - Great, Kirk. You find any mold?
- Did I find any silent death? Not so far. - Good.
I did tell you about the dangers of mold and Ed McMahon's dog, right?
- Yes, you did. - Had memory loss due to mold infestation.
- Forgot how to sit. - Yes, it was horrible.
It's a growth industry right now, pardon the pun. Mold is money.
I just wish I wasn't so scared of finding it.
- Don't look too hard then. - Thanks.
What's the final prognosis? We're not buying a money pit?
You're gonna spend money. But it's not a pit, might be a steal.
- It's a steal! - We are such great businesswomen.
Once you start work, you could have this place...
up and running in four or five months.
Which gives the Independence Inn owners time to find our replacements.
We could be running our own inn in less than a year!
- What's the matter, Kirk? Mold? - No, a mouse!
We knew our education at Chilton would be exemplary...
but it was the people at Chilton, all my friends... Hi, Marcy, love you.
Cody and Debbie, love you, too. The faculty, the administrative staff...
even our janitorial staff, Jaime and Joachim...
I can't count how often you made me laugh...
- Does she need medical attention? - Paris.
Jaime and Joachim aren't even getting a copy. She's a maroon.
It's the year's end, people get nostalgic.
How's your valedictorian speech coming along?
It's okay. Pretty standard, boring. "We love the school, blah, blah, blah..."
No one listens to those things anyhow...
Relax, I'm okay with you making valedictorian over me.
- Good, thanks. - Sure.
I googled the personal histories of Ivy League valedictorians...
going back 25 years and found some enlightening statistics.
They don't necessarily do well in later life, did you know?
- No. - Yeah.
A lot of business failure, crumbled marriages, suicides, obesity.
- Okay. - A bunch died in car crashes...
several did time, one suffocated when his cat fell asleep on his face.
Okay, thanks again.
AV geek, just pan my body nice and slow.
- Why? - Yeah, why?
I'll never look better than I do now.
Come on, ladies, we don't have all day.
- AV geek, I'll need six minutes. - You're only allowed two.
- Rolling. - Rolling.
Fellow Chilton seniors, it's been quite a year.
I hate this.
One guest in the whole inn. One guy.
And I pulled towel duty today.
It's especially awful handling guests' towels...
when you know exactly which guest the towels belong to.
It's his mites on those towels.
Don't be gross.
This is degrading for a man of my capabilities.
What about me? I've got no kitchen, I'm a chef.
My skills are deteriorating. I need to sauté, emulsify, marinate.
I need more mental stimulation.
I need to freaking fry a dead animal in a skillet. I'm going nuts.
- I should have been a dancer. - What?
My mother put me in dance school and I rebelled.
I wanted to kick the football, I should not have.
I've seen you dance and you jump around like a duck.
- I'm getting mighty sick of you. - Not as sick as I am of you.
You do his towels, I'm not doing his towels anymore.
I'm not doing his towels, I hate that stupid guy...
with that stupid newspaper. He's stupid.
No bickering in front of the guest.
Tell it to Deney Terrio here.
"I should've been a dancer."
- Lorelai, how long can we keep this up? - Keep what up?
We have one guest, half the rooms are still closed from the fire...
most of the staff is laid off, I am doing mite towels...
and the owner's son is walking around with a bunch of men in suits.
Yeah, John's here. That can't be good.
John is here looking things over for the renovation...
that will reopen the closed rooms so we can be up and running again.
- Stop worrying. - Okay.
[Phone rings]
Independence Inn, Lorelai speaking.
- Lorelai, it's your mother. - Mother, hi.
I'm calling to find out how it'll work at Rory's graduation.
Are we going to be sitting together?
Well, hmm.
- Lorelai. - Sorry.
Of course we'll sit together. We're family.
I knew that, I just wasn't sure if you did.
- We're sitting together. - Good.
- Yes, it is. - Ask her about the gift, Emily.
- Dad? - He's on the other line.
Sure got that quiet thing down there.
I'm on the upstairs portable, I'm on my way downstairs.
- I see your mother now. Hello, Emily. - Hello, Richard.
I'm on my way to the couch and am about to sit.
It's like the thrilling days of radio.
We wanted to ask about a gift for Rory.
It's a big gift, a little extravagant.
But it's a big occasion so it makes sense.
We want to buy her a car.
I think that's a great idea.
- Really? - Wonderful.
Rory needs to get back and forth from Yale a lot...
the quicker she does it, the more I get to see her. It's a present for me, too.
Yes, right.
- I suppose so. - Didn't think of that.
Just not a gas guzzler and no Ferraris or Lamborghinis.
So nothing Italian.
No, it can be Italian, just sensible Italian.
All right, good.
- I'm glad we have this settled. - Good.
Maybe I'll see you at the graduation and maybe I won't.
- What? - See you there. Bye.
- Goodbye. - Bye.
You and your Armani posse want something to drink?
No, Lorelai, we're fine. Thanks.
- So, I've been lying about you all day. - About what?
About how it's not a big deal that you're walking around...
with a concerned look on your face, with a group of men with concerned looks.
I've been lying to me a little, too.
- We have to close off three more rooms. - Three rooms. That'll leave us with two.
And the estimates for the repairs...
to get everything back to the quality we had and up to code, it's not pretty.
- That's not pretty. - Mom's leaning toward selling.
- Selling. - Nothing's final yet.
Yeah, nothing's final. I just...
Rory grew up here.
- I grew up here. - Yeah.
- I'd better get back to my group. - Great, sure, you go.
- Be careful not to trip over our guest. - I won't.
[Knock on door]
LORELAI: Sookie, Jackson, you'd better not be in bed.
- Were you expecting Lorelai? - No.
The night is young and the champagne's cold.
The champagne?
- Surprise. - What is this?
- It's a celebration. - For what?
Sookie, get some glasses. Jackson, put some music on.
- Whatever you want, just make it festive. - Got it.
I don't know what this is, but it's fun.
- I've got Creedence Clearwater Revival. - Good energy, too hillbilly.
- How you coming with those glasses? - Just wiping the fancy ones.
Huey Lewis & the News. It's Sookie's.
We all have our guilty pleasures.
- Herb Alpert & the Tijuana Brass. - Fun, festive. It's perfect. Crank it.
- I've got some Dom for me and Jackson. - Happens to be my brand.
- I love this song. - And for Sookie and little baby...
whatever it is, we got the apple bubbly stuff.
- And cheers. - Cheers.
Come on, what are we celebrating?
- You ready? - Definitely.
The Independence Inn is closing!
- The inn is closing? - Not closing, closed.
We're finished, over.
They're boarding the place up now. Who wants more?
Did they find some gold in the basement?
I'm missing the celebrating angle.
You should always celebrate new challenges. This is one.
- A new challenge. - There'll be severance pay, then nothing.
- Nothing. - Nothing but exciting new challenges.
- Cheers. - The inn is closed.
I guess this means that you guys can focus solely on refurbishing the Dragonfly.
Getting that running. That's exciting.
- Yes, it is. - Yeah, I agree.
Just drink some more. How are you feeling?
A little drunk and all I'm drinking is apple juice.
Good, 'cause I've got another little piece of news for you.
We can't buy the Dragonfly.
I can't swing my share of the money because I no longer have a steady income.
That is great.
- Was that an exciting challenge, too? - Absolutely.
Yesterday our lives were boring and predictable.
We had jobs, we were going to start a business.
Now everything is wide open.
We can do anything because we're not penned in.
- That's good. - Yes, that's good.
And thinking of those new challenges is a nice way to distract me...
from the fact that we don't work together anymore. So...
we're going to see way less of each other.
Which will make our limited time together more enjoyable.
Right. Since I'm your vegetable supplier, I'm losing work...
and seeing my wife and close friend way less than before.
Cheers.
That would convert it into a town bylaw...
a minor but nonetheless important change from local ordinance...
giving us the leeway to enforce charter amendments five and six...
and grandfathering in previously proposed statutes...
with no procedural delay.
So, all those in favor of going ahead with this, say "aye."
All those opposed?
People, what's going on?
- People! - Sorry, Taylor.
- What's the matter? - It might be the first time...
sixty people lost their train of thought at the same time.
Yeah, Taylor, your voice always makes me think of my grocery list.
- We need croutons. - Got it.
Moving on.
Now, people, I know it's an unpleasant subject...
but the deer population in this town is reaching monstrous proportions.
- Not this again. - He's always going on about the deer.
- Leave them alone, Taylor. - But they're taking over the town.
- We need to institute partial elimination. - Partial elimination?
You wanna kill the little romping Bambis?
People, do I have to detail the problems that these deer cause?
No, but you will.
Lyme disease, auto accidents, plane accidents.
- We have flying deer? - That's scary.
Yeah, those ones you can snuff.
But the worst problem is the crop loss.
- Hand me the blowup, please. - He's paying you for all this, right?
- Yeah. - Really, how much?
This is a randomly chosen but typical landscaped area...
in the town that was denuded by these ruminant pests.
- Randomly chosen? - Taylor, that's your backyard.
- This is a little self-serving. - It might be my yard.
Might be? No one else has a "Kiss the gardener" sign.
This is a trumped-up problem.
So none of you are interested in addressing this scourge?
- I have a thought. - Go ahead, Kirk.
- A controlled hunt. - Guns?
- Not guns, wolves. - What?
You release a pack of wolves, they eat the deer, problem solved.
Then you'll have a wolf problem.
I say that we defer this unsavory topic for another year.
- Wait a minute. - All those in favor?
- Aye. - Taylor's opposed. Meeting adjourned.
I missed the whole thing?
Yes, and I'm still semi-grounded. I have a limited amount of time outside.
Hurry and show me your prom pictures.
- These are them. - How many did you take?
300. I'll leave them with you. They're self-explanatory.
- What's this? - Our chicken picatta.
- This? - Our chicken picatta after one bite.
- So don't tell me, two bites? - Yup.
- I think I can follow this. - Gotta run.
- Keep them in order. - I will.
- Hi. - Hi.
Taylor's paying you to do all this work, isn't he?
He knows I need money so he's helping me with extra stuff to do.
- He's a good guy. - He is a good guy. A very good guy.
- How are the old wedding plans? - They're fine.
My mom's held about a million weddings at the inn...
and I've worked on a lot of them, so I'm a fountain of useful tips.
- Good. - For instance, your photographer...
Have him take candid photographs along with the other ones.
It'll capture your favorite moments...
and you won't be stuck with just the stiff, posed shots.
Candid. Okay.
If the ring bearer is younger than five...
My nephew, he's three.
Don't give him the ring until the last second.
Because I've seen many a ring swallowed...
and it takes a couple days to get it back.
Good point.
It's been kind of overwhelming. You must rent the hall a year in advance.
- Make sure your deposit's refundable. - Yeah, it is.
Then there's a lot that we have to buy for our place.
Yeah, about that. Come on, sit.
- What's this? - Your wedding gift.
- What? - You can get anything you want...
but I marked a bunch of pages with stuff I think would be appropriate.
I wanted to get in early...
so that I could be the first person giving you a blender, not the third one.
- You don't have to do this. - I know, that's why it's fun.
This has everything.
I'd recommend the mixing bowls, those are really nice.
Or a knife set and a sharpener. Sharpening's very important.
I learned it from Sookie. You leave them too long, it's too late.
Respect your knives.
- Thanks, Rory. - You're welcome.
Flip through it with Lindsay, pick out what you want, I'll order it.
I will.
Bye, Dean.
Bye, Rory.
- We should bring it in a bit more. - First, why don't you...
use a medieval torture instrument to crush my ribs...
and flatten my spinal cord to accommodate your sadistic wish?
Don't use subtlety on us, we're slow.
She's saying we don't need to bring it in anymore.
Take it off, you're done.
I should go.
I've got a job interview tomorrow. You know what?
- I'm nervous. - Which place?
- Harrington's in Woodbridge. - Nice.
They want me as the executive chef four nights a week.
I can't imagine working some place else. And without my Lorelai.
But it's only a few months till the Dragonfly opens, right?
- You haven't told her yet? - Told me what?
- I was waiting for an opportunity. - To tell me what?
Which apparently is right now. Okay.
Hon, listen...
we're not buying the Dragonfly.
- What? - It's just not the right time.
- You're crazy, it's the perfect time. - Not really.
If you wait, someone else'll buy it, you said so yourself.
I'm gonna go, guys. Sorry to spill the beans.
- That's okay, I'll see you later. - Mom, why put it off?
- I know the inn closing is a setback. - Big one.
But we've got Grandpa's money, that's plenty to buy the Dragonfly Inn.
We'll just scrimp on everything until it's running and successful.
- It would take a lot. - I'm a master scrimper.
I would make the Olympic scrimping team. I'm that good.
- We didn't get financial aid for Yale. - What?
No scholarships, hardship money, money-off coupons, gift certificates.
I don't understand. What happened?
Irony of ironies, the money I got from your grandpa...
took us out of the running for aid because it looked like we have money.
Send proof. A bank statement, a letter from Grandpa. A picture of this couch.
They'll know we're not rich after seeing it.
I tried everything, I swear.
- Why didn't you tell me? - With everything going on?
Finals and personal stuff? I didn't want you worrying.
- But Grandpa's money... - Is paying for Yale.
No way.
I'll take a loan from a bank. That's what banks are for.
I don't want you buried by loans the day you graduate.
I'll major in something that'll make me money when I graduate.
I'll major in business or engineering.
You are not changing your major from journalism because of my lack of money.
It's our lack.
If you need to work as a low-paid intern...
for a magazine or a stringer for some small-town newspaper...
or Tom Brokaw's toupee comber-outer before you make real money...
- then that's what you'll do. - There must be another way.
- I've looked, there's nothing. - This is so not fair to you.
I'll have my own inn one day, I promise. But Yale comes first.
- What are you going to do now? - Rail at God for a while.
Tell her I said hi.
What happened to the elves that were going to pack our packs?
How about this?
- You hate the dress I made you so much? - Not for graduation, for Europe.
Perfect. It's black, so it won't show dirt or wrinkles.
Wear it with a moody look like you're thinking of Bolsheviks...
they'll mistake you for Simone de Beauvoir. Pack it.
- It's too heavy. - Was that a trick question?
- We need to cut weight from our packs. - I'm doing my part here.
- You don't need five pairs of boots. - I'll drop boots if you drop books.
- I can't drop books. - You can't bring 12.
Cut your undergarments. Don't forget, we'll rinse in Woolite every few days.
This is going to an uncomfortable place.
- Your toothpaste. You have three tubes. - So?
- Why three? - If I lose one, I'll have another.
If you bring three tubes, I'll bring 12 books and a dictionary.
Then I'll bring a gallon of mercury...
one of the densest, heaviest substances known to man.
- The writing's on the wall. - Cancel Europe.
I've got to run, love my graduation dress.
I know.
- Shame about Europe being canceled? - It's okay.
It's not that great. Except for the cheese.
- Nine books for two toothpastes. - Deal.
[Doorbell rings]
Who is it, Emily?
I don't know, my x-ray vision isn't working.
I was wondering if you were expecting somebody.
I wasn't expecting anybody.
- Rory. - Hi, Grandma. Hi, Grandpa.
What brings you here on this busy day?
I have a time-sensitive issue I need to talk about.
Time-sensitive? Come in.
We were just getting ready for your ceremony.
I was just retying my tie for the third time.
No matter how many times I tie it there's always room for error.
It's not an exact science, is it?
Nor an art form, it's pretty much nothing.
Sit down, please.
Okay.
All right.
- Should we be nervous? - No, you shouldn't be. I am, a little.
What is it?
- I need money. - You need money.
- For Yale. - You need money for Yale.
- Stop repeating what she says. - I'm sorry, I'm processing.
It's a long story. No financing came through...
and all the options that Mom and I have are just not good enough.
So here's the offer:
I would like you to loan me money for four years at Yale.
In return I will get a part-time job and pay you in installments.
I will continue this schedule after graduation...
increasing the payment in proportion to my income.
Plus, I will reinstate Friday-night dinners with me.
Each Friday night I'll be here, 7:00 on the dot.
- How wonderful. - We've missed you, Rory.
I've missed you, too.
- This should work out for everyone, right? - Absolutely, we're happy to do it.
Not so fast.
Richard.
I'm happy to pay for Yale, but I don't want it to be a loan.
No, not that. I want it to be a loan because otherwise it's too easy.
Here's my counteroffer:
Let's make it a loan, but I insist that you not start paying it back...
until at least five years after you graduate.
Seven years if you go for your master's.
It sounds fair, but I should pay interest.
No.
You are not going to pay me interest on this money. That's a deal breaker.
- Okay. - Good.
- Wonderful. - We have a deal.
If journalism doesn't work out you could work for me after you graduate.
You've got good deal-making skills, eye of the tiger.
I'll keep it in mind.
- I should go. - Does your mother know you're here?
No.
This is my thing.
I'll see you at the ceremony.
Where do you wanna sit?
There's no designated area for family and friends of the valedictorian?
Like a skybox or a velvet rope on one of the rows.
We're like 50 Cent's posse.
- Where are the boys? - Over there.
They're doing that thing guys do around fancy buildings.
- Talk about their construction. - The insurance costs.
Guys, get over here.
Here's a row. How many seats do we need?
- You, me, Luke, Jackson. - That's four.
- Plus picklepuss and sauerkraut. - Your parents make six.
These stones have to be carved by hand.
Without the tools we have now. No electricity.
- Just pulleys and fulcrums. - Hey, Bob Vila, take a seat.
We have to vow not to make fun of any of the kids...
because the family will be sitting behind us just like at that play.
The "Big-eared Romeo" fiasco of '98. Gotcha.
Who's paging you?
Maybe there's a special surprise party for the valedictorian's mom...
before the ceremony.
- I bet there is. - I'll be right back.
Look at the gargoyles.
Those have to be imported from Europe.
The insurance on this place must be astronomical.
Nanny, you brought the kids!
[Speaking Portuguese]
I'm looking for Rory Gilmore, she's the valedictorian.
I'm her mom.
Go away. I want to tell other people...
I'm the valedictorian's mom and am looking for you.
I've got good news that I want to tell you.
- You're ready? - I hope so. Ready for what?
- You're getting your inn. - What?
Go put in the bid on the Dragonfly. You've got the money, Grandpa's money.
- What? How do I have money? - Grandma and Grandpa will pay for Yale.
Wait a minute...
I explained everything, and they'll lend me the money for Yale.
When did they approach you?
- I approached them. - No!
I just left them. It's a done deal.
Make the call, put in the bid before someone else does.
Do you understand the Gilmores do nothing altruistically?
Strings are attached to everything.
- There are no strings. - No strings?
I must pay them back starting five years after I graduate.
- I have to go to Friday-night dinners. - Hello, Pinocchio. Those are strings.
It was my idea to resume the dinners.
I obligated just me, you are in no way a part of it.
- This can't happen. - I don't want to defer your dream.
You shouldn't have done this behind my back.
Yale is my thing. I needed financing. I got it.
Those people. Master manipulators.
This was my idea. I'm manipulating you.
They are manipulating you to manipulate me.
- How are they doing that? - Don't you see?
If you go to Friday dinners, Mom knows I'll go just to be with you.
- She wasn't thinking that. - They're getting what they want.
Don't you see, we're all getting what we want.
It's a win-win-win situation.
- It's not. - It is.
Okay, maybe it is.
Just once, I want you to get exactly what you want...
and me to get exactly what I want and them to get nothing.
We'll see if we can't arrange that.
The ceremony's about to start. I'd better go.
And go buy that inn.
- Hi. - Hello.
Didn't you see Sookie? We've got seats saved.
We didn't know if the whole seating issue had been resolved.
- It was. Come on. - I don't remember it being fully resolved.
- We didn't know if you changed your mind. - I didn't.
It wasn't crystal clear.
- Fine, just stay there. - You're not serious.
Mom, Dad, you've met everyone here: Sookie, Jackson, Luke.
- Hi. How are you doing? - No Christopher?
He's out of town, but he's having us take pictures...
order him the video and we may come back...
and reenact the whole thing when he gets home.
Now sit, relax.
Long story short, and a partly painful story at that...
and hang on to your hat, but we can put a bid in on the Dragonfly.
What? You're kidding. How? What happened?
I can't go into it now.
Even with the champagne and Herb Alpert...
I've been so depressed. I couldn't watch The Dating Game.
That's all changed now.
I'll go call the attorney. You sit back and enjoy the graduation.
Sorry.
This will not happen again, promise.
You have to move over one more chair to be part of the group.
- I thought someone else was coming. - No.
- You're sure? - Yes.
Because it would be awkward to move during the ceremony.
I know what awkward is.
- What, Mom? - Nothing.
That man in front of me is extraordinarily tall, don't you think?
- The middle one bowled a 143 last week. - Impressive.
I was here before you, it just looks like I'm late.
Appearances can be deceiving, so sorry.
The real-estate agent wasn't in, so I left a message.
Did Rory walk in?
First row, right in front of the kid with the humongous...
The really cute kid.
I wanted to get a picture of her walking in. I'll get some of her in her seat.
Sorry, I'm not like this. Today I am.
I'm with the valedictorian.
Invited guests, fellow faculty...
honored attendees and students...
welcome to the Chilton Academy graduating class ceremony of 2003.
This class is a distinguished assemblage...
equal to or surpassing what has preceded it.
In its 200-year history, Chilton has not failed to produce a class...
that brings only honor to these grounds...
and to the academy's fine traditions.
To begin, I would like to invite the student body president, Paris Geller...
to lead us in the Pledge of Allegiance.
As his parting shot to me, Charleston never responded...
to the three aspects of the pledge that I objected to...
and considered rewriting.
That's not going to stop me from using air quotes.
In good times and bad, Chilton formed us, brought us hope...
honed our insight, gave us encouragement.
Though my time here was interrupted by my period...
spent on Broadway hanging out with Stephen Sondheim...
I still consider Chilton the most rewarding experience of my young life.
It had been my plan in closing to recite a short poem that I wrote.
- But reconsidered. - Come on, Brad, go out a winner.
As I read it aloud, I realized the feelings I wanted to share...
with my fellow students were better expressed in a favorite song.
[Sings Cherish]
Oh, Brad.
It's a distinct pleasure for me to introduce to you our valedictorian.
This young lady was a second-year transfer from a school...
where she distinguished herself immeasurably.
She is humble, hard-working...
competitive when need be...
and unparalleled in her academic achievements.
Ladies and gentlemen, Rory Gilmore.
- Not crying, right? - Not crying.
Keeping our cool so we don't miss a thing.
- Tears get in your eyes. - You miss things.
- So we're not crying. - Not crying.
- Not crying. Not crying. - What?
- No crying. - I'm not crying.
Headmaster Charleston, faculty members, fellow students, family and friends...
welcome. We never thought this day would come.
We prayed for its quick delivery, crossed days of four calendars...
counted hours, minutes and seconds and now that it's here, I'm sorry it is...
because it means leaving inspiring friends...
and teachers who've been my mentors, many people who've shaped my life...
and my fellow students' lives impermeably and forever.
I live in two worlds. One is the world of books.
I've been a resident of Faulkner's Yoknapatawpha County...
hunted the white whale from the Pequod, fought alongside Napoleon...
sailed a raft with Huck and Jim...
committed absurdities with lgnatius J. Reilly...
rode a sad train with Anna Karenina and strolled down Swann's Way.
It's a rewarding world, but my second one is by far superior.
My second one is filled with characters less eccentric, but supremely real...
made of flesh and bone, full of love...
who are my ultimate inspiration for everything.
Richard and Emily Gilmore are kind, decent, unfailingly generous people.
They are my twin pillars, without whom I could not stand.
I am proud to be their grandchild.
But my ultimate inspiration comes from my best friend...
the dazzling woman from whom I received my name and my life's blood...
Lorelai Gilmore.
Hang in there.
My mother never gave me any idea...
that I couldn't do what I wanted to do or be whom I wanted to be.
She filled our house with love and fun and books and music...
unflagging in her efforts to give me role models...
from Jane Austen to Eudora Welty to Patti Smith.
As she guided me through these incredible 18 years...
I don't know if she ever realized that the person I most wanted to be was her.
- Not crying. - Crying a little.
Crying a little but not blubbering. That's what we meant by no crying.
No blubbering.
Thank you, Mom, you are my guidepost for everything.
On the verge of blubbering here.
Not doing too well myself.
Not you, too.
I'm blubbering, you're freaks.
As we prepare ourselves, today...
I swear, I do not recognize half of these people.
What's your name, what's your story?
- Do you see her? - She's the one in the robe.
She's lost in a sea of blue polyester. I couldn't point her out.
Richard.
How much to insure all this?
The insurance may not be prohibitive, but the deductibles will be enormous.
- Well into six figures. - Six figures?
- That's like having no insurance at all. - So if there was a fire...
Stop assessing the value of the building. Rory's coming up.
I want a closer shot of her getting her diploma.
Thanks, I suck, sorry.
Paris Eustace Geller.
Finally, a name I recognize.
- Congratulations, Paris. - No hard feelings.
Okay.
Lorelai Leigh Gilmore.
- This is it. - She looks so solemn.
Like a Gilmore.
- Congratulations, Rory. - Thank you, Headmaster.
- Lorelai, really. - I taught her all I know.
Honest to God, last time. Sorry.
I need a pen. I don't have a pen.
- Give me your pen. - I don't have a pen.
Where's the pen you take orders with?
You have to stop assuming that I take pens with me everywhere I go.
- Never be without a pen. - Thank you, Dad.
How many more times are you going to do that?
I think about six.
Class of 2003, give yourselves a hand.
How was my speech?
It made everyone cry including stone-cold Luke.
- Luke, you old softy. - I will never live this down.
- Not with me around. - I gotta go back to the diner.
- Thanks for coming. - Sure. The building's amazing.
- So are you. - Thanks.
It really was great of you to come, Luke.
- It meant a lot to her. - It was fun.
If I don't see you, have fun on your trip with Nicole.
- We may not go now. - You were looking forward to it.
I don't know if the timing's right. Things are kind of weird.
It's because I teased you about the commitment thing. I ruined it.
No, that's not it.
Promise me that's not it. It would break my heart.
You weren't wrong about that. It got me thinking...
it is kind of like committing to her.
- So? - I don't want to lead her on.
But you like her. You like her a lot, don't you?
- She's great. - Then go.
No matter what she's reading into it.
Really, you think that's okay considering...
everything?
- I do. - Okay.
- I'll probably go then. - Good.
- I guess I was just nervous about nothing. - That's what I think, too.
- I'll see you in a couple of months. - I'll see you then.
I guess we should say our goodbyes.
Nanny made me a special dinner, she makes a mean farturas.
I'm glad you found me. I wanted to say goodbye, too.
Good. Good luck.
It's weird, most of the time I really hated you.
I really hated you, too.
I think it might be time to present...
Rory with her graduation gift.
You guys didn't have to get me anything.
- Nonsense. - This one wouldn't fit in an envelope...
- so follow me, please. - We're really excited about this one.
- So am I. - Good.
There's your gift. The one with the bow.
For Pete's sake. It was the only one there when I drove it up.
You should've put a more distinctive bow on it.
How could I know every kid here was getting a car?
- You got me a car. - We got you a car.
That's amazing, thank you.
Which one is it?
Did you get her one for every day of the week?
We got her one car. It's a little Prius.
It's safe, it gets great gas mileage.
And it's the one that Leonardo DiCaprio drives.
Thank you.
- I love you guys. - We love you, too.
And don't forget to call about...
Insurance, I'll do it the second I get home.
Good.
- Congratulations. Thanks for your speech. - You're welcome.
I meant it, thank you for everything.
Have fun in Europe, both of you.
- Thank you, Mom. - When do you get back?
- The 27th. - We'll see you that Friday for dinner.
- Explain the win-win-win thing again? - Everybody wins, that's what it is.
[Mobile phone rings]
Hello?
- Hang up? - Yeah.
You've been getting a lot of those lately.
[Mobile phone rings]
Hello?
Jess, is that you?
I'm pretty sure it's you. You've been calling and not speaking...
but want to say something. Hello?
You're not going to talk, fine. I'll talk.
You didn't handle things right. At all.
You could've told me that you were having trouble in school...
and weren't going to graduate, that your dad had been there.
Instead you ended up not taking me to my prom...
not coming to my graduation and leaving again...
without saying goodbye again.
That's fine. I get it, but that's it for me.
I'm going to Europe tomorrow and I'm going to Yale and I'm moving on.
I'm not going to pine. I hope you didn't think I was going to pine.
I think I may have loved you, but I just need to let it go.
So that's it, I guess.
I hope you're good, I want you to be good.
Okay. Goodbye.
That word sounds really lame and stupid right now, but there it is.
Goodbye.
- You okay? - I'm okay.
- Come on. - But Sookie and Jackson are out that way.
I want to go back a different way.
- I thought we were going home. - I have one more stop before we do.
- Hi, where's Rory? - Out in the car.
- It was a really nice ceremony, wasn't it? - It was beautiful.
- What's up? - I just wanted to say something to you...
in case we don't see each other before your trip.
- Sure. What? - Don't get engaged.
What? Why?
Lorelai?
- Mom, wait. - Hurry.
This outfit produces a lot of wind resistance.
- Why are we here? - Leaving our mark, got a knife?
- A knife, for what? - Carving our initials. Knife.
The switchblade I keep in my sock? No, I left it at home.
I must have something here.
- Safety pin, perfect. - We can't do this.
Yes, we can. People need to know we were here.
I'm in the yearbook.
How about the wall?
It's out in the open, they'll trace it to us.
They'll see LG and RG and figure it was us?
There ain't no dorks here.
- Somewhere in the floor? - This marble is 200 years old.
Harriet Beecher Stowe walked on this marble.
- The banister. - Was donated by Robert Frost.
The sconce.
Was ceremonially lit for the first time by Thomas Edison.
Is there anything in this whole room...
that a famous dead person was not associated with?
This is very interesting, architectural doodads and foo-faws.
- And wing-dings and tum-tums. - That was close.
Just carve it really tiny here in the baseboard of the wall...
and do it reversed. So, GL and GR.
- Maybe it's not such a good idea. - The madness passes.
You guys coming? Party at your place, right?
- A party? - Just a little gathering.
- We'll meet back at our house. - See you there.
Wait.
Look around for a second.
- Notice? - Notice what?
It's not so scary anymore.
No, it's not.