Mom, I swear, it was Aunt Marine.
Aunt Marine would never hike up her skirt in public.
She would after half a gallon of eggnog.
Who was the one who got drunk at our Christmas party...
and hiked up her skirt in front of the photographer?
Did you say something?
I've never felt so fascinating in my entire life.
- I'm sorry I'm late. Hi, Grandma, Grandpa. - Hello, Rory.
Now he closes the paper.
I stopped by the bookstore on the way here.
- You got them? - I got them.
- Got what? - We're starting to plan our Europe trip.
- The day after graduation, we are gone. - That sounds very exciting.
- What are these? - Those are guidebooks.
"Europe Through the Back Door, The Rough Guide to Europe."
- What kind of guide books are these? - The cheap kind.
They have all the information about backpacking and staying in hostels.
- Backpacking and staying in hostels? - Who's doing that?
We are.
- No, you're not. - What a ridiculous thought.
We are. We're going to backpack around Europe.
I know it's fun to tease your grandmother.
They're going to backpack across Europe.
I heard, sounds delightful. Perhaps we should join them.
That sounds wonderful.
Tomorrow I'll go out and buy some cutoffs.
Guys, we're not kidding.
You're seriously going to traipse around Europe...
with your possessions on your back, sleep in a room with 30 other people?
- Yes. - No.
- Grandpa. - It's not safe. I forbid it.
- Call our travel agent. - But we want to be spontaneous.
Jump a train to Paris, head off to Spain.
It's raining in Spain. But since the rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain...
- Looks like Italy for us. - Mamma mia.
You can still travel around aimlessly and stay in a decent hotel.
- We want to do it cheap. - We'll pay.
- No. - It's going to be fun. Really.
- Kids do this all the time. - You're not a kid, you're a grown woman.
What'll people think when they see a woman bunking down...
with 20-year-olds?
If the 20-year-olds are cute they'll think, "Lucky."
Don't be upset. It really is going to be great.
"What's so traumatic about a night without a bed, anyway?"
"My survey shows those who have been a refugee for a night..."
"Have their perspectives broadened and actually enjoy the experience."
This book is encouraging them to sleep in a park like a squirrel.
- It's okay. - My first trip to Europe...
I went to Paris and stayed at the Ritz.
If it'll make you happy, we'll go to Paris and eat out of their dumpster.
All this goes in there, let's move. We're getting backlogged.
I brought over the nails you asked for.
- Get the guys' lunch orders. - Already done.
You're a good kid, Dean, you hardly bug me at all.
High praise.
Get the food, and don't forget the pickles.
I wouldn't dare.
What do I got to say to get this crap inside where it belongs?
You got a language I'm not privy to? Because I'm a fast learner.
Deano.
You grow any taller, I'll have to get some mountain-climbing equipment.
You're getting dangerous to even walk near. You know that.
- I've been told. - You looking for Mr. Doose?
Precious, no, I'm just looking.
[Exclaiming in comprehension]
- Yes. - Okay.
- Well, enjoy. - I always do.
- Move. - What? Sorry.
- What's that? - It's nothing.
- You reading? - It's nothing.
- I never see you reading. - Would you just... I read.
- What do you read? - I read.
- What do you read? - Invoices, expiration dates.
- I stand corrected. - Hey!
"Hidden Romantic Gems of the Restaurant World. "Well.
- I want my property back. - Planning something special?
I'm taking Nicole to dinner on Friday and I wanna find a place.
- A place you don't normally go to? - Yes.
- A "special" place. - Would you stop saying that word?
- And, yes. - Find anything good?
Every description talks about tablecloths and dish design. Nothing about food.
You're going through a lot for this lawyer.
She's not a lawyer.
She's a lawyer, but she's also a lady.
A very nice lady who expects good food with her fancy place...
- and sparse, yet elegant decor. - You're pathetic when you're in love.
I'm not in love. This is what you do when you're dating.
- Not what I do. - Rory's a lucky girl. Work.
I'm going upstairs.
But if a horse-drawn carriage shows up here...
my throwing up will be eternal.
I got to place an order.
- Talk into the clown. - I am.
What do you want?
Six burgers, three with cheese, two Cheddar, one Swiss, two plain...
one with chili, cheese and onions on the side.
- Your memory's that good? - You're screwing with me.
I'm placing an order.
- For all of Connecticut. - For the construction crew.
- You're Taylor's errand boy now. - And you're Taylor's waitress.
- Say that a bit closer. - I thought you had a girlfriend.
- Give me your order and get out. - Service with a smile.
Six burgers, three cheese, two Cheddar, one Swiss, two plain burgers...
one chili burger with cheese and onions on the side...
three ham on ryes, one mayo, one mustard, one combo.
- Combo means mustard... - I know.
Guess that confused look is just how your face is.
- Wanna talk about this outside? - Just as soon as I'm finished.
Four hot dogs, two egg salads on white, one chicken salad on wheat...
a chef's salad with ranch, five fries, five onion rings...
two chips, extra pickles.
- On what? - Excuse me?
- What are the pickles on? - On the side.
Of what? The burgers, the sandwiches, or the side of the road...
in the ditch where I'm gonna dump your body?
- Just make sure there's enough for all. - Fine.
- Aren't you going to read it back? - Nope.
Okay.
These men were hired by Taylor.
If they aren't satisfied, they will return their orders.
They'll do that until they're happy.
So you could be making this order until you die.
Six burgers, three with cheese, two Cheddar, one Swiss...
Slower, please. I'm checking them off as we go.
Two plain burgers, one chili...
with cheese and onion on the side.
It's your party, we just want you to be happy.
Okay. No problem.
All right, I'll talk to you then.
- Ridgemont called. - No.
He wants to change the theme for his retirement party again.
- We have to call the florist. - This is the fourth theme he's picked.
He had the fishing one, the Kentucky Derby with the chocolate horsies...
and the Tibet with the Richard Gere pictures everywhere.
He promised that the golf would be the last one.
He felt golf was dull. He doesn't want to be known as dull.
Would he like to be remembered as limping? Because I can be a help with that.
Hey, guys...
[All groaning]
I'm really sorry.
Here's an idea. It's a retirement party, yes?
So what happens after you retire? You die.
- He changed his mind. - Again.
So why don't we dig a big hole, throw him in...
hand everybody a shovel. They take turns covering him up.
We go inside, have dinner. The wife gets used to eating alone.
- We are not going to bury him alive. - Fine, then.
- What is the new theme? - He's calling me back at 4:00.
I got the flags and... He changed his mind again.
He's worse than my mother at the Glory of Easter T-shirt stand.
You kept the receipt, I hope.
This party's going to be the death of me.
- Of someone. - Go call the florist.
- You're stressed. - You're observant.
I was going to save this for later.
- But you look like you need it now. - What's that?
I have been cordially invited to Sherry Tinsdale's C-section.
No way.
"Friday, February 7, 6:00 p.m.
"Join the girls for a toast, a hug, a wave to the mommy...
"as they wheel her off. Dinner at Sushi Sushi..."
"Then back to the hospital for a formal viewing of brand-new baby, Georgia."
"R.S.V.P. at your earliest convenience."
"PS: Gifts are not necessary, but always appreciated."
- Where do I start? - I knew you'd like it.
- You have to R.S.V.P. to a C-section. - And bring a gift.
Does Laura Mercier make Demerol?
- You want to keep it? - Yes.
But don't lose it, I need the phone number.
- So are you going? - I don't know.
I know it's weird, but I kind of want to see Georgia.
- She's sort of my sister. - She's more than that.
It'd be cool to meet her the night she's born.
It's a good story to talk about.
- You should go. - I should, shouldn't I?
You should take pictures, wear hidden microphones.
- I want to hear everything. - I'll see what I can do.
Oh, shoot.
Sook.
God!
A grown man shouldn't throw himself a Beanie Baby retirement party.
Hold your breath this one takes.
And how is Sookie supposed to plan a Beanie Baby menu?
- Lots of beans. - This is ridiculous.
You need to learn there will be times in your life...
where you have to do ridiculous things for money.
If you're Adrian Zmed, that includes everything in your career.
Did you order from Amazon again? We're getting your books their own house.
I didn't.
- It's from my mother. - What is it?
It's heavy. Must be her hopes and dreams for me.
I thought she discarded those years ago.
Just drop the Beanies by the door.
"Girls, here are some travel books I stumbled across in your father's study."
"I thought they could help in the planning of your European adventure."
- She's insane. - We have travel books.
These aren't our kind of books.
They're Paris and Nicky Hilton's kind of books.
"Selected Hotels of Europe, Hotels, Restaurants and Inns..."
"Of Great Britain and Ireland, 1986."
"Myra Waldo's Travel and Motoring Guide to Europe, '78."
These will be an enormous help in planning our trip.
- You wanna go see the Berlin Wall? - Sounds great.
I remember these books. I'm the only one in my house who read them.
- This hotel is $500 a night. - $500 a night 20 years ago.
What could a hotel have that would make it $500 a night?
An English menu?
Christopher, stop it. I'm trying to open the door.
- Graceful and lovely, they enter. - Is she home?
- I don't know. Mom, are you home? - [Mimicking Lorelai] Mom, are you home?
- She'll hear you. - So? She likes me.
That's right. Mom, it's me, Lorelai. I'm home.
I'm home and I'm taking my sweater off, and dropping it on the floor.
Dropping it and walking away.
I'm walking away and leaving it on the floor.
And in two years I'm gonna register Democrat.
- Looks like no Emily. - Where's Sophia?
- Fired. - Already?
- She touched the Baccarat unicorn. - Is she insane?
Apparently so.
So, to recap, there's no Emily, and there's no Sophia.
And there's no supervision whatsoever. What will we do?
- Let's celebrate. - What?
- No more midterms. - Hear, hear.
I say that we drink to it. Scotch, vodka, or gin?
- Hear, hear. - Okay.
And put a cherry in it.
Looks like the Gilmores are planning a trip again.
Where to this time?
Some place fabulous, at a fancy hotel with other rich Americans...
so they won't have to talk to anyone who lives there.
"Myra Waldo's Travel and Motoring Guide to Europe."
- Hello, Myra. - I hope they go over Christmas.
That would be as holly-jolly as it gets.
Smooth.
Guess what I've decided? I'm not going to go to college.
You serious?
I'm taking a year and I'm going to Europe.
I'm going to backpack, sleep on a bench, see the world.
You've told Strobe and Francine about your plans.
Doesn't matter.
- I'm out the second I get that diploma. - Sounds good.
- You're coming with me. - I am?
- Yeah. - I'm sleeping on a bench?
How's that picture look? To me it looks like a big no.
Fine. You'll get a room. I'll sleep on the bench outside.
- Much better arrangement. - So you'll go.
Christopher, we're supposed to go to college.
You're to join your dad's firm, where you'll get an office...
- and a stick to shove up your butt. - Change of plans.
You can't change the plans. The plans came over on the Mayflower.
Let's get out of here. Let's get away from this place.
Let's take Myra and just bolt. Leave a note on the table.
"Dear Richard and Emily, I don't belong here. I'm going.
"I'll call you when I get there. Love, Lorelai." How is that?
The word "whoopee" comes to mind.
- So then, it's a plan. - It's a plan.
I want to sleep amongst 13th century tapestries...
- and chocolates made by locals. - It's settled.
We aren't staying anyplace that wasn't built for Napoleon III's doctor...
or doesn't have a Chagall.
Hear, hear.
We have to figure out how we're going to pay for it.
How good is your organ grinding?
I asked her to talk me through the Korean War. She said she was busy.
- She's got a boyfriend. - I know.
- I think it's about time. - I agree.
- It wasn't healthy. - It didn't help that skin thing she had.
Why didn't she tell us?
Think she just wanted to make sure it was going to take.
Tell us, what's this Jamie like?
I don't feel like talking about Paris right now. Or ever.
You know him, we don't.
- Is he sexy? - Have a good car?
- How's the trust fund? - How's the profile?
- How're his friends? - Is there spin-off potential?
Okay, everyone, gather round. I have in my hand...
the 2002 Franklin yearbook photos. I got copies for everyone.
So let's leave the Barneys clearance sale reenactment for another day.
Please take note that the idea of posing under the new school banner...
was a major success.
- Paris. - Yes?
- I'm sneezing. - What?
In the picture, I'm sneezing, and my head is turned.
Yeah, but every picture had something wrong.
I had to pick one that was best for the majority.
- We took 90 pictures. - What's your point?
There wasn't one other picture that was good for the group...
and didn't make me look like I'm in Cirque du Soleil?
Sorry, life can play some cruel tricks.
Life had a little help from the Geller camp this time.
[Cell phone ringing]
We are not done.
Hello?
Rory, hi. Listen, I just got the call and...
[Intercom buzzing]
Hold on a sec. I'll call him back!
- I'm back. Sorry, where was I? - Who is this?
Maureen Rollins. Sherry's friend.
- Maureen. I'm sorry... - Don't worry about it.
We were going to meet next week at the C-section...
- but Sherry just went into labor. - What?
She's in labor, and I have to call all the girls...
and beg them to get down to the hospital ASAP.
- It's a big screw-up. - I guess.
Can you come? You're a child, right?
- School? - Huh?
- You have school? - Yes, I have school, but...
Is there any way you could reschedule school just for today?
She screwed up but she's still our Sherry.
I'm done with school now. I could grab a train and...
That would be the best, the absolute best. You are a great kid.
She's at Boston Memorial. I will meet you there.
Listen, I have Graydon Carter on the other line.
- Graydon Carter, I have to go. - Okay, bye.
Please make sure the light is very soft. I want a luminous quality.
I'll have to see the lady before I can set the final lighting.
Yes, of course.
Arletta, did you call Lorelai?
- Yes, ma'am, 20 minutes ago. - And what did she say?
She was still getting dressed. Do you want me to go up again?
No, I'll do it.
You'd think it was my coming-out portrait...
not hers, for the concern she has about all of this.
I'll be right back.
Don't scratch the floor.
[Knocking at door]
Yeah?
Lorelai, the photographer needs you downstairs.
I'll be there in a sec.
He needs you now, not in a sec.
- I don't hear you walking to the door. - Mom, please!
- I'm coming in. - No!
I don't have time for your attitude, young lady.
This man is being paid by the hour.
Why aren't you dressed?
I think the zipper is too new or stiff.
Turn around, I'll do it.
- Oh, my God. - What?
It's not the zipper, it's the dress. It's too small.
- Are you sure? - Of course. It's too small.
How can it be too small? We had a fitting three months ago.
Have you gained weight? Hold your breath.
I am.
- Hold your breath. - I am.
The only thing I can think of is...
the dressmaker must have written the measurements down wrong.
What're we supposed to do now? I can't take a picture of you like that.
Sorry.
I'll have him come back next week.
I'll call that woman at the dress shop and give her a piece of my mind.
Is everyone in the world completely incompetent?
Put on your sweats and go running.
You're gonna fit into the next dress no matter what.
I have five minutes to drink as much coffee as I can...
before driving to Hartford to spend time with my mother alone...
Who am I saying this to?
I was listening.
- Where's Luke? - I don't know.
- Is he coming back? How fresh is that pot? - I don't know.
It was there when I came a minute ago. So I don't know.
Thank God.
I desperately need a massive cup of coffee to go...
- What happened to your face? - What do you mean?
- It's visible. - I shaved.
Are you going to the bank? Funeral? Drag club?
Let's get your coffee, shall we?
- Isn't that the sweater... - Yes.
- You look nice. - Thank you.
What's the occasion?
- Hi. - Hi.
It's a girl.
Nicole, this is Lorelai.
- Nice to meet you, Nicole Leahy. - Lorelai Gilmore.
- You look nice. - You, too.
- Are you ready or should I sit? - Let's go, I'm ready.
[Cell phone ringing]
I'm sorry, just a sec.
- She's a lawyer. - So what?
Hello? Yes.
I'm sorry, Monday won't work. It'll have to be Tuesday.
Your client breaking his contract is annoying, too...
but we're all dealing with that. Terrific to hear. Bye, Michael.
- The phone is going off now. - It's okay.
Make as many calls as you want.
- Nice meeting you. - You, too.
As soon as I can. All right, bye.
- Maureen? - Yes.
I'm Rory.
I'm Christopher's daughter. You called me to come down...
Thank God you're here. Sherry's going to be thrilled.
She's a basket case. Who wouldn't be?
- Where's everyone else? - They're working.
We'd all planned on next week but Sherry screwed up.
Thank God you're here. She'll be thrilled. She's feeling abandoned.
Don't mention how fat she is.
For some reason she's extremely sensitive about that today. Kiss.
I'll call you later.
- Where are you going? - I have to get back to work. I'm swamped.
- You're leaving me here? - I would love to stay. Impossible.
What can I say, Sherry screwed up. You'll be fine.
Call if you need anything.
- I don't have your number. - Sherry's got it.
- Sherry, it's Rory. - Rory?
God, I'm so glad you're here.
- How are you? - This wasn't supposed to happen now.
- I know. - Christopher's out of town.
Maureen left a message, but it doesn't matter since he's not here.
Where's Maureen?
She had to go to work but she'll call later.
- She's at work? - Yes.
I'm lying in a bed, God knows what's gonna happen.
- You're going to have a baby. - And she goes back to work.
I would love to go back to work, but I can't because I have to stay here.
- Because you're going to have a baby. - She's not here.
None of my friends are here. Christopher isn't here.
No one is here.
No one but you.
Thank God you're here. I don't think that I could do this by myself...
because this wasn't supposed to happen until next week. I wrote it down!
I wrote it down!
Boy, do you look thin.
It's a rare treat to have an evening alone with my daughter un-coerced.
- Yes, it is, isn't it? - So Rory's at the hospital?
Yeah, she's going to see her new half-sister fresh from the oven.
That's a most unpleasant description. I thought we'd have martinis.
- Very good thought. - Olives?
Twist.
How's Rory feeling about Christopher's new baby?
- She's very excited. It's kind of cute. - Should've gotten her a puppy.
Stop.
- No maid tonight? - Leloni usually takes Sundays off...
but she wanted to switch and seeing as it's just us, I said yes.
- Leloni, very exotic name. - She's from Honolulu.
- Does she know Don Ho? - No.
- Charo? - No.
- C&H pure cane sugar dancers? - We don't have a buffer here tonight.
So who cooked dinner? Don't tell me it's you because we can always diet.
Leloni made a roast before she left, and I heated it up.
You did?
I added a little wine to the pan to keep it from drying out.
- Who died and made you Sara Moulton? - Drink this and be quiet.
- So, how long is Dad gone for this time? - Two weeks.
- Didn't he just come home last week? - He did.
Business must be pretty good?
He has to work twice as hard as he ever did.
I'm still not sure that he's made a dime yet.
He's having the time of his life. So what can you do?
Nothing, I guess.
- Can I ask you something? - Of course you can.
- What do you do while Dad is gone? - I do all sorts of things.
- Like what? - I keep this house running.
I have my DAR meetings, and there's always a thousand calls to make.
I have functions and fundraising events to organize, a million different things.
- But what do you do at night? - Excuse me?
You don't organize functions at night, do you?
- What are you insinuating? - I'm not insinuating anything.
I'm trying to find out a little about your life.
Your father calls every night at 9:00 and we talk.
So you spend 15 minutes talking to Dad...
and then you hang up the phone, and you... what?
- Watch television? - I don't watch that much television.
I don't find forensic work as fascinating as the rest of the world.
You have cable. You can watch movies.
I never know where the maid puts that guide they send you.
I always wind up turning it on after a movie has started...
and I don't like to come in on the middle of things.
- Tape the movies, or get a DVD player. - I don't need a DVD player.
Why not? Then you could buy all those musicals you love...
- and watch them whenever you felt like it. - I'm not an invalid.
Of course you are. Why else would I suggest a DVD player?
I can fill my time myself and I'd like you to drop this conversation right now.
- Where are you going? - We're going to eat.
Just because you leave the room doesn't mean the conversation's over.
I started the conversation, the conversation's in me.
Therefore, when I get over there the conversation's gonna start up again.
STRAUB: This is unbelievable, absolutely unbelievable.
FRANCINE: I feel sick. STRAUB: Everything's gone.
It's been tossed right out the window. Stop crying.
Drink your water, we need to calm down. Getting upset won't get us anywhere.
- What do we tell people? - Who needs to know?
- What do you mean? - You don't have to yell at me.
Everybody has to know and will know. We can't pretend this didn't happen.
- We could send her away. - Excuse me?
Aren't there places that take girls like that?
- Girls like what? - Well, girls in...
- I can't handle this at all. - Stop crying, damn it.
EMILY: Christopher is as much to blame as Lorelai.
- Like hell he is. - They're in this together.
Why should he sacrifice everything we planned for him just because...
Choose your words extremely carefully.
You know we love Lorelai, you know that.
But Chris is so young, he's a baby.
- Lorelai's not collecting social security. - Why doesn't she get rid of it?
What?
- It's an option. - It's not an option.
- Why not? - Because I say so.
Then what are you suggesting? What's your solution to this problem?
They will get married. They will live here.
And Christopher will go to work at my company. That is the solution.
Now we have a plan so we can all stop talking about it.
Please excuse me. I have work to do.
EMILY: I think Richard's plan sounds sensible.
STRAUB: I have one question: Why his company?
- What do you mean "his company"? - I have a law firm.
Christopher could go to school.
"We're upset, maybe we should ask the kids what they think.
- "Lorelai, Christopher, anything to add?" - Quiet, they'll hear you.
Not likely. I don't know how long I can sit here like this.
- It's okay, let them talk. - They're talking about us.
- They're trying to figure out what to do. - What to do with our lives.
- Yours and mine and its. - We're gonna need their help.
We can take care of ourselves.
- How? - We'll figure it out.
- It's okay, it sounds okay. - What sounds okay?
Working for your dad, living here. It sounds okay.
What about Europe and sleeping on a bench in Paris?
- I can't, I have to get a job. - No.
- I have to make money. - No.
It's okay. Really.
EMILY: You are not even listening to each other.
For God's sake, Francine, shut up!
So we'll see you next Friday at 3:00. Sorry for the short notice. Bye.
- Great, who's next? - Sheldon Harnick.
- Set him for Wednesday. - Okay.
Don't tell him I'm pregnant. He hates pregnancy.
- How about a plumbing problem? - Sounds good.
Okay. So how are we doing?
I'm not sure.
Don't be nervous, everything will be fine.
I wanted to check and see who'll be with you in the delivery room...
- while it's happening. - My fiancé is on his way.
- Yes, he's on his way. - When he gets here, he'll come in with me.
- If he doesn't get here in time? - We'll have to wait.
That's going to be tough to arrange. Once it starts, that's it.
Okay, then I guess it's Rory. Right?
Absolutely.
I'm gonna get you a gown and gloves, so you'll be set, in case you have to go in.
- That sounds great. - I'll be right back.
Okay, where were we?
Listen, Sherry, I really need a cup of coffee.
- Would you mind if I ran out really quick? - Go ahead.
- I'll make the next few calls myself. - Okay.
- Hello. - They're giving me gloves.
What're you saying?
I don't want gloves, a gown, or to be in there.
- In where? - In the delivery room.
What?
Dad's not here, and she told the nurse I'm going in and...
- Where are her other friends? - They had to work.
I'm here all by myself, and I'm trying to be calm...
but I'm feeling nauseous, and the hospital has a smell, and there are noises.
Those gowns don't stay closed, I've seen many butts today...
Okay, sweetie, calm down.
- I need you. - Rory.
I need you. I need you here and now.
I cannot do this alone, I need my mommy and I don't care who knows it.
- What hospital? - Boston Memorial.
- I'll be there. - I really like you.
Tell Sherry to cross her legs till then.
- Does that work? - No. Bye.
I've got to go. I'm sorry. Dinner was great.
- Where are you going? - Sherry's freaking out.
Rory's the only one with her, so I'm going to the hospital.
You're going to be with Rory's father's girlfriend while she has his baby?
I can't tell what your opinion on that might be.
Why? This woman pulled Christopher away from you and Rory.
- She destroyed any chance you had... - Rory asked me to come, and I'm going.
I don't understand what Rory's doing there.
- She's gonna have a sister. - Half-sister.
Thank you for a lovely dinner, I'll see you next week.
MAN 1: [On TV] The toxins report from the Racket case...
picked up a therapeutic level of Lidocaine and hydrochlorothiazide.
MAN 2: [On TV] That shouldn't be a surprise. The man had a heart condition.
- Only... - Only what?
Lidocaine is usually administered by injection.
We went over his body with a fine-toothed comb.
- There were no injections, were there? - None that I saw.
Maybe we missed it. We'd better take another look.
Okay.
I guess you're head over heels with all the wedding preparations.
- Are you done? - Yes.
- Okay. Is anyone with you, hon? - No.
Someone will be up to get you in a second.
Thanks.
[99 Luftballons by Nena playing]
Excuse me, Sherry Tinsdale's room?
- Right through there. - Thank you.
- Mom. - Hey.
Thank you.
You're welcome. I'll hold this over you...
- for the next 10 years. What're you doing? - Xeroxing.
Sherry had status reports to fax to people, but she didn't bring enough.
I've been trying to find a Xerox machine. I conned someone to let me use theirs.
- Haven't found a fax machine yet. - Okay, come on.
- I have to fax these. - Let's go.
But we have a deadline.
I'm having them faxed over right now. Yes, that's right.
I'm not sure if the numbers I have are the numbers that you have.
That's right, that's bad.
I think you should, too.
- Did you get those things faxed? - Sherry, hang up.
- I have to finish this call. - Say goodbye.
- But... - Call him back. Hi.
Sherry's going to have to call you back. I promise. Goodbye.
But that was work.
You really shouldn't be working right now.
I can't just stop everything because I'm...
Having a baby.
- Admitting it is the first step. - I'm not ready. I had it planned.
- Christopher was supposed to be here. - I know.
- I don't know what to do. - Calm down and stop working.
And why are you sitting like that?
Howard Stern said that squatting makes the baby come out faster.
Okay, as long as you have a sane reason from a reliable source.
I'm scared.
I know. It's scary, and it hurts like hell.
When it comes out don't look at it too hard, until they give it a good cleaning...
or you'll think you gave birth to phlegm. But once they give it a scrub...
- it's just unbelievably cool. - Yeah?
Look how good they grow up. Not bad, huh?
- I hope I get that lucky. - I've got a good feeling.
Thank you.
- Lorelai? - Yeah.
- My ankles are starting to hurt. - Okay, here, grab an arm.
- I'm glad you're here. - At this moment you probably should be.
- She's jogging in place. - Why?
She's hoping to aerobicize the thing out.
- Let's stop her. - I tried, she almost took an eye out.
- It can't be good for the baby. - It's no worse than the guilt trip...
- it's gonna get for showing up early. - You do know it's a girl.
I should stop calling her "it."
- I was just bringing you coffee. - Thanks.
Did you try calling your dad?
His cell's not in service, or out of range.
If he doesn't get here I have to go in with her.
- I do. - I don't wanna go.
You know what's gonna happen.
I had the cheap seat before. My view was quite different.
- Should we buy a camera or something? - For what?
- If Dad doesn't get here, shouldn't we... - No.
- But... - No.
I just thought it would be nice.
Lor, Rory!
Thank God you're here, Chris.
- Has it happened? Did I miss it? - No.
- You have perfect timing. - I must've broken 15 laws getting here.
I don't remember where I left my car, I thought I wouldn't make it.
You did make it. Sherry's gonna be thrilled.
- Where is she? - Come.
- This? - Yeah.
- Sherry. - Christopher.
I can't believe you're here, I didn't think you'd make it.
Are you kidding? Do you think I'd miss this?
I'm sorry, I'm in a lot of pain and I can't think straight.
- I take it this is your fiancé. - This is him, this is my Christopher.
- Are you coming in with us? - Try and stop me.
Okay. Let's go then.
[Sherry panting]
- We'll be right here, waiting. - Have fun.
- Have fun? - Well...
This is a big pain. I'd like it to go away.
- Just breathe deep. - It doesn't help. Can I hit you?
Or pinch you? That'll make me feel better.
- No, you can't. - Can I bite you, pull your hair...
or use the Epilady on you? 'Cause I need to do something.
- Lorelai Gilmore. - Wheel this a little faster.
You do not do this. You do not leave a person a note.
- See the timing here. - "Dear Mom and Dad..."
- "I'm in labor. See you later, Lorelai." - Emily, please, I feel ridiculous.
- You're having a baby, do you know that? - That explains the stomachache.
You don't leave when you're having a baby without telling me.
You say, "Excuse me, Mom, I'm having a baby, give me a ride to the hospital."
I wore the wrong shoes for this.
I had a right to drive my daughter to the hospital to give birth.
Especially since she's 16 years old and doesn't have her driver's license yet.
I need you to wait out here, please.
- Why? - We're going into the delivery room.
- I want to go in. - No.
Yes, Emily, please.
- We'll be here when you're done. - Super.
Do not think we are finished discussing this, because we are not!
Emily, let's just sit here.
- I'm glad he got here. - Yeah, me, too.
- So I guess now we wait? - Now we wait.
How long are you gonna sit here?
- What do you mean? - It's been four hours. Go home.
- It's boring, my TV's broken. - Do something else.
- Like? - Read a book.
- What book? - Any book.
- I need a suggestion. - Moby Dick.
- That's about the whale. - Yes.
- No. What else? - Forget it, just sit there.
He drove to New York, picked up the cheese and drove back.
- Nobody talked about it ever again. - Oh, God, I love cheese.
Then you would have gotten along well with my father.
- You want some coffee? - I'd love some coffee.
Have a seat. Jess, coffee over here.
So I have to say, I really hated that restaurant.
Good, I like that. We're on the same page here.
I did, however, have a really good time.
Once again, I like that we're on the same page here.
- Okay, coffee. - Thank you.
- You have a good time? - We had a really good time.
- I'm going to go out for an hour. - What're you talking about? It's 11:30.
- I'm gonna go out for an hour. - Where?
- Out. - Out where?
- Out for about an hour. - What are you talking about?
I'm talking about going out for an hour. What, you need more time?
Nicole, will you excuse me for a minute?
They have amazing communication.
- Guess I'm not going out for an hour. - Say good night, Jess.
- I don't understand you. - My mystique is part of my charm.
You want me to take a walk? Take an extra-long shower?
- Go upstairs. - Sorry, I tried.
Lor?
Are you a daddy?
Come on, come look.
- We'll wake Rory later. - Okay.
How was it?
In my wildest dreams I never could've imagined.
I've never been that nervous, terrified, or nauseous in my entire life.
It was like...
the most amazing thing ever in the world.
- Well, you know. - Yes, I do know.
- I've never seen anything like it. - Yeah.
And Sherry was great. I'm flying, I mean it, I'm flying.
There.
- That's my daughter. - I can tell.
How?
I think she conned that one out of his blanket.
She's perfect.
Rory was perfect.
She, however, is a good solid second.
I just can't believe it.
She's beautiful.
Really.
- Congratulations, Christopher. - Thank you.
Thank you for everything.
Of course.
- She's pretty. - She's perfect.
So I guess we should get married.
I should wake Rory, don't you think?
Yeah, she'd like to see this.
[Doorbell ringing]
I'll get it, Leloni. You find out where that smell is coming from.
- Lorelai. - Hi, Mom.
- What are you doing here? What is this? - This is your new DVD player.
- My what? - Plus I picked up Singin' in the Rain...
Funny Girl, Easter Parade, An American in Paris, and as bonus...
the classic dance series, Urban Cowboy, Saturday Night Fever...
Grease, Footloose and Flashdance.
You'll be cutting up your sweatshirts all weekend.
- Why did you do this? - I felt you'd enjoy it.
But I don't know anything about a DVD player.
Once it's hooked up, all you have to do is press play.
- Who's going to hook it up? - I am.
- You know how to hook it up? - I know how to read the manual.
- Since when? - Please.
- Maybe we should get a professional. - I can do this, just give me five seconds.
Well...
Can you do it?
- Just forget it. - Mom, please.
Just let me focus for one more second. If I cannot do it...
I'll get a professional DVD guy in here to install it, okay?
I still don't understand why you got me this.
I love this movie.
Lorelai, we're leaving.
She finally put Rory's stroller away.
- First time in a year I didn't trip. - Where's my scarf?
I told Tina to put everything out for you.
Where?
- Look on the table. - You must be more specific with her.
Fine.
There should be a designated place for things.
Whatever you say, Richard. Lorelai, we are leaving.
Please acknowledge that. Where is that girl?
- This is not the scarf I asked for. - It looks fine. Can you just wear it?
I'm going to go back upstairs and get the scarf I intended to wear.
I'm surprised at you, Emily.
These are your friends we're seeing tonight.
You would have thought my appearance would be a priority for you.
I didn't want to go in the first place.
I have a meeting in the morning, and I would rather go to bed...
and ignore the fact that the symphony has to reupholster its mezzanine this year.
Emily?
- Okay. - Can you do it?
- I have no idea. - Are you going to take it back?
- I'm going upstairs. - Why?
I should put this in your bedroom. That's your best TV.
- You said you couldn't hook it up. - I'll figure it out.
There are wires, connections, and electricity involved.
You'll hurt yourself or set the house on fire.
[Singing] In your Easter bonnet
You could ruin our television set.
With all the frills upon it
You'll be the grandest fella in the Easter parade
I don't like being ignored, Lorelai.
And when they look us over
We'll be the proudest couple in the Easter parade