1 00:00:02,599 --> 00:00:03,633 Hi. 2 00:00:03,766 --> 00:00:05,959 - Good evening, may I take your coats? - Sure. Thanks. 3 00:00:06,140 --> 00:00:08,288 EMILY: That's the most absurd thing I've ever heard. 4 00:00:08,557 --> 00:00:11,068 - Your mother's in the living room. - So last chance to run? 5 00:00:11,265 --> 00:00:13,300 - Excuse me? - Just ignore her. 6 00:00:15,307 --> 00:00:16,864 Of course I said it. 7 00:00:17,015 --> 00:00:20,481 I can't imagine who would take "jackbooted" as a compliment. 8 00:00:20,723 --> 00:00:22,121 I will not apologize. 9 00:00:22,265 --> 00:00:25,652 Every time she went to the pantry, I thought she was marching on Poland. 10 00:00:26,265 --> 00:00:29,458 I see. Because I want things a certain way, I'm unreasonable. 11 00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:32,073 That is the most absurd... 12 00:00:32,223 --> 00:00:35,531 I want to see this document. Fax it to me immediately. 13 00:00:35,765 --> 00:00:37,242 She's part of the electronic age. 14 00:00:37,390 --> 00:00:40,061 Tomorrow morning is completely unacceptable. 15 00:00:40,306 --> 00:00:43,341 It's unacceptable because I'm paying you $300 an hour. 16 00:00:43,556 --> 00:00:46,545 Turn that little near-luxury car around, go back to your office... 17 00:00:46,765 --> 00:00:48,356 and fax me that libelous paper. 18 00:00:48,515 --> 00:00:50,313 Ask her if he can pick up some ice cream, too. 19 00:00:50,431 --> 00:00:53,181 Tell your wife to tape your daughter's recital. 20 00:00:53,847 --> 00:00:55,484 - Unbelievable. - Hi, Mom. 21 00:00:55,639 --> 00:00:57,158 - Hi, Grandma. - When did you get here? 22 00:00:57,223 --> 00:01:00,417 Sometime between the second "absurd" and the third "unbelievable." 23 00:01:00,639 --> 00:01:03,992 - Sorry, that call caught me off guard. - Is everything all right, Grandma? 24 00:01:04,223 --> 00:01:06,734 - Everything's fine. - Are you sure? You look peeved. 25 00:01:06,931 --> 00:01:08,806 - I'm not peeved. - You look peeved. 26 00:01:08,972 --> 00:01:11,246 Kindly stop making me say the word "peeved." 27 00:01:11,430 --> 00:01:13,465 Mom, spill it. What's wrong? 28 00:01:13,722 --> 00:01:17,268 That was our lawyer calling to inform me that one of our former maids... 29 00:01:17,514 --> 00:01:19,822 is suing for wrongful termination. 30 00:01:20,806 --> 00:01:23,636 - You might at least act surprised. - It's not the first time, is it? 31 00:01:23,847 --> 00:01:25,438 - It most certainly is. - Really? 32 00:01:25,597 --> 00:01:27,983 - Yes, Lorelai, really. - Well, then I'm surprised. 33 00:01:28,180 --> 00:01:30,852 - It's beyond surprise, it's outrageous. - What did Grandpa say? 34 00:01:31,055 --> 00:01:33,772 He's still in London helping his mother close down her house. 35 00:01:33,972 --> 00:01:36,610 - Of course he'd not be here now. - He planned it that way. 36 00:01:36,805 --> 00:01:39,477 - Which maid was it? - Gerta, the one from Hamburg, Germany. 37 00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:41,477 - Which one was she? - You remember... 38 00:01:41,638 --> 00:01:44,276 she was the one you made the Hamburg-hamburger jokes to. 39 00:01:44,472 --> 00:01:46,150 - God, I beat that dead horse. - With glee. 40 00:01:46,305 --> 00:01:47,743 - She was the clomper. - The clomper? 41 00:01:47,805 --> 00:01:50,874 She'd be upstairs, and it'd sound like a Munich beer hall rally. 42 00:01:51,097 --> 00:01:52,365 - That's why you fired her? - Yes. 43 00:01:52,388 --> 00:01:54,775 Because she made noise when she walked? 44 00:01:54,972 --> 00:01:57,041 - Was she a good maid otherwise? - What? 45 00:01:57,222 --> 00:01:59,369 Besides the clomping, was she polite, on time... 46 00:01:59,554 --> 00:02:01,350 and put the little fork on the outside? 47 00:02:01,513 --> 00:02:02,741 Have you been listening to me? 48 00:02:02,888 --> 00:02:05,764 She was not performing her duties as I wished them performed. 49 00:02:05,972 --> 00:02:08,609 - Everything else is beside the point. - It's always something. 50 00:02:08,805 --> 00:02:11,998 - What's that supposed to mean? - You find the one thing about a maid... 51 00:02:12,221 --> 00:02:15,972 that negates all of her good qualities. Isn't it easier to let some things slide? 52 00:02:16,221 --> 00:02:18,051 - So it's my fault. - I didn't say that. 53 00:02:18,221 --> 00:02:21,097 No, Lorelai, you did. For years I've been listening to you... 54 00:02:21,304 --> 00:02:24,691 your father and everyone else go on and on about how demanding I am... 55 00:02:24,929 --> 00:02:27,396 how I have to have things a certain way. Guess what? 56 00:02:27,595 --> 00:02:28,789 I pay to have them that way. 57 00:02:28,929 --> 00:02:32,396 I pay more than anyone pays their maids. If things aren't how I want... 58 00:02:32,637 --> 00:02:35,104 I'm not getting what I paid for. Is that hard to understand? 59 00:02:35,304 --> 00:02:36,701 It isn't hard to understand... 60 00:02:36,845 --> 00:02:39,516 If you pay for first class, and they stick you in coach... 61 00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:43,425 people expect you to be upset. No one calls you demanding or unreasonable. 62 00:02:43,679 --> 00:02:47,032 Yet here is this woman, whom I pay more than she can get elsewhere... 63 00:02:47,262 --> 00:02:51,014 whose severance package could finance a summer cruise down the Rhine... 64 00:02:51,262 --> 00:02:54,456 dragging me into court, saying that I was unfair. Why? 65 00:02:54,679 --> 00:02:58,191 Because having paid for one thing I'm not content with another? Am I unfair? 66 00:02:58,428 --> 00:03:02,418 Then, so be it. Let someone else pay first class and ride in steerage, not me. 67 00:03:02,679 --> 00:03:04,554 Excuse me, Mrs. Gilmore, dinner's ready. 68 00:03:04,720 --> 00:03:07,152 Thank you, Brooke, we'll be right there. 69 00:03:07,345 --> 00:03:08,379 Wait! 70 00:03:09,803 --> 00:03:11,395 - Do you hear that? - Hear what? 71 00:03:11,554 --> 00:03:12,701 Exactly. 72 00:04:11,385 --> 00:04:14,500 SOOKIE: Next time I want some grapefruit, I'm just gonna ask for a kazoo... 73 00:04:14,718 --> 00:04:17,071 because you can only give me the bizarre opposite. 74 00:04:17,260 --> 00:04:19,486 JACKSON: What is your problem? MICHEL: I need you to... What? 75 00:04:19,510 --> 00:04:22,386 - This morning! - It started, you were supposed to call me. 76 00:04:22,593 --> 00:04:24,741 - Stop talking. - I understand perfectly... 77 00:04:24,927 --> 00:04:26,757 - you want to be a dictator. - Come off it! 78 00:04:26,927 --> 00:04:30,995 Comdt. St. James says, "Brussels sprouts! You'll bring me Brussels sprouts!" 79 00:04:31,260 --> 00:04:33,374 I'm trying to plan a menu here, Jackson! 80 00:04:33,552 --> 00:04:35,029 Fill me in, please. 81 00:04:35,176 --> 00:04:37,847 Jackson brought pea tendrils instead of Brussels sprouts. 82 00:04:38,051 --> 00:04:39,643 - Aren't we Evil Knievel? - Coffee? 83 00:04:39,801 --> 00:04:42,552 Pea tendrils are too delicate to serve with the Iamb shank. 84 00:04:42,759 --> 00:04:45,714 - I don't think that they are! - Where are the Brussels sprouts? 85 00:04:45,926 --> 00:04:49,314 - The stocks weren't good enough! - You always do this to me. 86 00:04:49,551 --> 00:04:52,745 Doesn't it matter that I care about the quality of the produce I sell you? 87 00:04:52,968 --> 00:04:56,559 That I'd be willing to risk an enormous argument just to save your dinner? 88 00:04:56,801 --> 00:04:58,756 - That was dumb. - Save my dinner? 89 00:04:58,926 --> 00:05:00,562 - You know what I meant. - Yes. 90 00:05:00,717 --> 00:05:04,422 My dinner is out, standing on a ledge. Oh, no. What's going to happen? 91 00:05:04,676 --> 00:05:05,151 Sookie. 92 00:05:05,163 --> 00:05:07,711 Wait. What's that? It's a bird, it's a plane. 93 00:05:07,926 --> 00:05:10,802 It's Super Jackson, and his atomic pea tendrils! 94 00:05:11,008 --> 00:05:13,520 - You want to get another produce guy? - Maybe I should. 95 00:05:13,717 --> 00:05:15,149 - Go ahead! - Don't tempt me! 96 00:05:15,300 --> 00:05:16,653 That's it, I am leaving. 97 00:05:16,801 --> 00:05:19,517 - Go, but take the tendrils with you! - Fine! 98 00:05:20,717 --> 00:05:22,785 - See you tonight? - I love you. 99 00:05:22,967 --> 00:05:25,115 And it always ends with a hug. 100 00:05:25,342 --> 00:05:28,491 - Okay, what do you need? - The new insurance policies you ordered. 101 00:05:28,716 --> 00:05:32,149 Good. The inspector's coming by to check the place out tomorrow... 102 00:05:32,384 --> 00:05:34,026 - so you'll have to show him around. - What? 103 00:05:34,050 --> 00:05:35,800 You're covering for me, remember? 104 00:05:35,967 --> 00:05:38,478 Yes, that's right. Tomorrow you two go back to school. 105 00:05:38,675 --> 00:05:41,142 Not school. A one-day course at the learning center. 106 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:42,375 How to run an inn. 107 00:05:42,508 --> 00:05:44,577 Amazing you've been able to fake it so long. 108 00:05:44,758 --> 00:05:47,747 This is specific to opening small inns, bed and breakfasts. 109 00:05:47,967 --> 00:05:51,319 I see. Order half of everything. There, you owe me $75. 110 00:05:51,550 --> 00:05:54,187 Why are you being such a snob about this? You went to hotel school. 111 00:05:54,216 --> 00:05:56,021 I attended the École Hôtelière de Genève. 112 00:05:56,033 --> 00:05:57,808 That has to make a hell of a sweatshirt. 113 00:05:58,049 --> 00:06:00,047 It's one of the premier hotel schools in the world. 114 00:06:00,174 --> 00:06:03,482 You, however, are taking a two-hour course at the Radisson. 115 00:06:03,717 --> 00:06:07,263 Jackson's taken a lot of courses through the learning center, he loves it. 116 00:06:07,508 --> 00:06:09,622 - He took beekeeping... - Jackson keeps bees? 117 00:06:09,924 --> 00:06:12,436 No, he was allergic. One stung his lip... 118 00:06:12,632 --> 00:06:15,144 and his head blew up to three times its normal size. 119 00:06:15,341 --> 00:06:17,012 Please tell me you have pictures? 120 00:06:17,174 --> 00:06:20,720 He also took courses in how to buy foreclosed real estate and writing diaries. 121 00:06:20,966 --> 00:06:22,564 How do you not know how to write a diary? 122 00:06:22,590 --> 00:06:24,148 - He's a searcher. - Yes. 123 00:06:24,299 --> 00:06:26,765 Plus, I think he was really lonely before we got together... 124 00:06:26,966 --> 00:06:28,192 and he didn't live near a good bar. 125 00:06:28,216 --> 00:06:31,648 Yes. I predict tomorrow will be a waste of time and money... 126 00:06:31,882 --> 00:06:34,917 - and I'll laugh at you when you return. - Thanks for your support. 127 00:06:35,132 --> 00:06:37,246 Forget him. Opening our own inn is a huge step. 128 00:06:37,424 --> 00:06:39,981 - Anything that helps is worth trying. - Exactly, partner. 129 00:06:40,173 --> 00:06:42,606 Tell me you have pictures of Jackson's giant head. 130 00:06:42,799 --> 00:06:44,390 I'll bring them in tomorrow. 131 00:06:49,298 --> 00:06:50,297 Hey, Paris. 132 00:06:50,424 --> 00:06:52,652 Have you looked over the votes for commencement speaker? 133 00:06:52,840 --> 00:06:55,512 Are the ones for Princess Diana's butler jokes or real? 134 00:06:55,756 --> 00:06:57,950 - I'd say jokes. - The ones for Dr. Phil? 135 00:06:58,132 --> 00:07:00,689 - I think real. - That suggestion box was a bad idea. 136 00:07:00,881 --> 00:07:04,030 Watch Choate get Joan Didion while we're being read Eloise at the Plaza. 137 00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:07,530 Listen. Before the others get here, we should decide what we're going to do. 138 00:07:07,756 --> 00:07:10,064 - About what? - The prom coup Francie staged last week. 139 00:07:10,257 --> 00:07:11,404 Booking Wadsworth Mansion? 140 00:07:11,548 --> 00:07:14,424 Using all the money reserved for the telescope. 141 00:07:14,631 --> 00:07:17,018 Why does one pinhead always have to vote for Jerry Garcia? 142 00:07:17,214 --> 00:07:19,123 I'm not sure if the check has been sent... 143 00:07:19,298 --> 00:07:20,651 - I took care of that. - What? 144 00:07:20,798 --> 00:07:23,675 Wadsworth Mansion is owned by the Connecticut Daughters of the Mayflower. 145 00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:27,067 Most of them couldn't negotiate an icy sidewalk, much less a contract. 146 00:07:27,298 --> 00:07:30,415 It took me five minutes on the phone to get them down to half the asking price. 147 00:07:30,631 --> 00:07:31,779 You're kidding. 148 00:07:31,922 --> 00:07:34,355 No way am I letting the class gift be a stupid tree... 149 00:07:34,548 --> 00:07:37,014 - so Ginger Spice can have a dream prom. - She's a sneak. 150 00:07:37,214 --> 00:07:40,124 She's not smart enough to be a sneak. Anyone can call a meeting. 151 00:07:40,339 --> 00:07:42,567 It's that loser, Mr. Hunter, that let her do it. 152 00:07:42,755 --> 00:07:44,188 She kind of forced him into it. 153 00:07:44,339 --> 00:07:48,010 You can't force a teacher into something. No, it was Hunter. 154 00:07:48,256 --> 00:07:50,325 He's been jealous of me since I got into office. 155 00:07:50,505 --> 00:07:53,415 Whenever I announce I have a motion to introduce, he flinches. 156 00:07:53,630 --> 00:07:56,301 Actually physically tightens up for a moment. It's creepy. 157 00:07:56,505 --> 00:07:57,504 Yeah, but... 158 00:07:57,630 --> 00:08:00,506 Our fearless leaders at work already. I feel so safe. 159 00:08:00,797 --> 00:08:02,911 - That girl bugs me. - Relax, she's harmless. 160 00:08:03,089 --> 00:08:04,236 HUNTER: Paris, Rory. 161 00:08:04,380 --> 00:08:07,768 - "Paris, Rory." Bed-wetter. Shall we sit? - Fine, let's sit. 162 00:08:10,797 --> 00:08:13,434 I call this meeting of the student council to order. 163 00:08:15,714 --> 00:08:17,464 - Is the secretary ready? - I am. 164 00:08:17,630 --> 00:08:20,380 Then let's proceed. First of all, I would like to apologize... 165 00:08:20,589 --> 00:08:22,862 for missing last week's somewhat impromptu meeting. 166 00:08:23,046 --> 00:08:25,796 As most of you know, its scheduling was somewhat unorthodox... 167 00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:28,233 since the meeting was a supplementary meeting... 168 00:08:28,422 --> 00:08:30,411 which was a concept invented by me. 169 00:08:30,588 --> 00:08:32,577 The fact that anyone would hold a meeting... 170 00:08:32,754 --> 00:08:36,028 invented by a certain person without that person, seems... 171 00:08:36,255 --> 00:08:38,368 Let's see, what's the word? 172 00:08:38,546 --> 00:08:42,536 Mutinous, insulting, underhanded and, in the end, fruitless... 173 00:08:42,796 --> 00:08:45,865 since I renegotiated the rental fee for the Wadsworth Mansion... 174 00:08:46,088 --> 00:08:47,884 so that we can have the prom... 175 00:08:48,046 --> 00:08:52,478 and give the school a respectable senior gift in the form of a telescope. 176 00:08:52,754 --> 00:08:55,789 Any questions, Mr. Christian? I mean, Mr. Hunter. 177 00:08:56,796 --> 00:08:58,068 - No. - Good. 178 00:08:58,212 --> 00:09:01,520 So, now that that's out of the way, let's move on to other business. 179 00:09:01,754 --> 00:09:04,061 - Francie. - As you know, Health Week is coming up. 180 00:09:04,254 --> 00:09:07,642 We have speakers to discuss everything from heart disease and exercise... 181 00:09:07,879 --> 00:09:09,948 to the dangers of sun damage and fried food. 182 00:09:10,129 --> 00:09:11,640 Everyone's booked and ready to go. 183 00:09:11,795 --> 00:09:14,864 But we have to figure out where to set up the sign-up table... 184 00:09:15,087 --> 00:09:16,166 for the annual blood drive. 185 00:09:16,254 --> 00:09:17,323 [Madeline screaming] 186 00:09:17,462 --> 00:09:20,019 - Jeez! What's the matter? - She hates the word "blood." 187 00:09:20,212 --> 00:09:21,644 Give me a heart attack. 188 00:09:21,795 --> 00:09:24,386 - Keep your hands on your ears. - Tell me when it's over. 189 00:09:24,587 --> 00:09:26,542 As I was saying before the freak-out... 190 00:09:26,712 --> 00:09:29,179 we need to figure out where to place the sign-up table. 191 00:09:29,378 --> 00:09:31,287 - I can still hear her. - Hum to yourself. 192 00:09:31,461 --> 00:09:32,460 Continue, please. 193 00:09:32,587 --> 00:09:36,292 I'm proposing putting it in the cafeteria, for easy access, maximum exposure... 194 00:09:36,545 --> 00:09:39,375 and almost 90% of the student body visits it every day. 195 00:09:39,587 --> 00:09:41,098 - It's the perfect location. - Well? 196 00:09:41,253 --> 00:09:42,526 - No. - Excuse me? 197 00:09:42,670 --> 00:09:44,788 You can't set up in the cafeteria. It's a fire hazard. 198 00:09:44,878 --> 00:09:45,947 It is? 199 00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:48,204 - You'll have to find another place. - You're kidding. 200 00:09:48,295 --> 00:09:49,852 I never kid about fire safety. 201 00:09:50,003 --> 00:09:52,719 I know the fire codes for the cafeteria. 202 00:09:52,919 --> 00:09:56,227 As long as we don't have more than 300 people, we can start an opium den... 203 00:09:56,462 --> 00:09:58,098 and the fire department wouldn't care. 204 00:09:58,253 --> 00:10:01,640 A: I think they would care. And B: I'm not talking about numbers. 205 00:10:01,878 --> 00:10:04,833 You get people thinking about blood, someone smells smoke... 206 00:10:05,044 --> 00:10:09,159 the next thing, 50 stampeding teenagers are using your body to lever open a door. 207 00:10:09,419 --> 00:10:11,772 - I won't allow that. - This is Xanadu level of insane. 208 00:10:11,961 --> 00:10:13,791 You're opposing the blood drive. 209 00:10:13,961 --> 00:10:16,155 No, I'm opposing the blood drive in the cafeteria. 210 00:10:16,335 --> 00:10:19,290 - Is it that big a deal? - It's the rules of common decency... 211 00:10:19,502 --> 00:10:22,014 and I'll be damned if I let Francie ignore those rules. 212 00:10:22,210 --> 00:10:24,404 Okay, motion denied. 213 00:10:24,586 --> 00:10:27,302 The senior class president will come up with an alternate plan... 214 00:10:27,502 --> 00:10:29,934 for the location of the sign-up table for the blood drive. 215 00:10:30,127 --> 00:10:32,275 Louise, poke John Williams... 216 00:10:32,461 --> 00:10:34,530 and tell her she can cut the score. We're moving on. 217 00:10:34,711 --> 00:10:38,462 Advertising space in the yearbook is only 50% sold, as of right now. 218 00:10:38,877 --> 00:10:40,707 What are we going to do about this? 219 00:10:40,877 --> 00:10:43,185 - Roger, yes. - Well, this... 220 00:10:48,294 --> 00:10:49,930 - Dinner. - Over here. 221 00:10:50,585 --> 00:10:53,574 We're so in luck. It was International Grab Bag Night at AI's. 222 00:10:53,793 --> 00:10:55,146 Cool. Did you peek? 223 00:10:55,294 --> 00:10:58,170 And ruin the whole point of the mystery dinner? I think not. Pick. 224 00:10:58,376 --> 00:10:59,570 - That one. - Okay. 225 00:10:59,710 --> 00:11:02,221 I love this. It's food and a game all in one. 226 00:11:02,418 --> 00:11:04,090 - We open them at the same time. - I know. 227 00:11:04,251 --> 00:11:07,525 There's a lot of pressure associated with International Grab Bag Night. 228 00:11:07,752 --> 00:11:10,309 As your mother, I'm responsible to give you structure. 229 00:11:10,501 --> 00:11:12,888 On three. One, two, three. 230 00:11:14,626 --> 00:11:16,853 - Moroccan. - You always say Moroccan. 231 00:11:17,043 --> 00:11:19,601 And sooner or later, I will be right. What's yours? 232 00:11:19,792 --> 00:11:23,668 Pan-Asian with a hint of English Colonial, and a few South African influences. 233 00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:25,509 Way to hedge your bet. Kitchen? 234 00:11:25,667 --> 00:11:28,339 - I'm just going to check the machine. - Okay. 235 00:11:28,543 --> 00:11:30,736 It's Bob Merriman, your mother's lawyer. 236 00:11:30,917 --> 00:11:33,554 I'm calling about this lawsuit she's involved in. 237 00:11:33,751 --> 00:11:36,706 We'd like it if you could give a deposition on her behalf. 238 00:11:36,917 --> 00:11:39,986 If you could call me tomorrow with some times that are convenient... 239 00:11:40,209 --> 00:11:41,436 - I can set up... - Oh, no! 240 00:11:41,584 --> 00:11:43,334 - What? - No. 241 00:11:43,500 --> 00:11:44,648 EMILY: Hello. LORELAI: No. 242 00:11:44,792 --> 00:11:46,701 - Who is this? - I am not giving a deposition. 243 00:11:46,876 --> 00:11:48,024 Of course you are. 244 00:11:48,167 --> 00:11:49,645 - Leave me out of this. - I see. 245 00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:52,542 You're going to let this lead-footed Teutonic chambermaid... 246 00:11:52,751 --> 00:11:55,661 drag your mother into a public forum and humiliate her? Is that it? 247 00:11:55,876 --> 00:11:57,433 - Is that what I'm hearing? - Mom. 248 00:11:57,584 --> 00:11:59,970 Her lawyer knows we asked for this deposition. 249 00:12:00,167 --> 00:12:03,156 How will it look if you refuse to testify for your own mother? 250 00:12:03,375 --> 00:12:06,171 - It's none of my business. - I'm sure the rocket scientists... 251 00:12:06,375 --> 00:12:08,489 they assemble as a jury will see it that way. 252 00:12:08,666 --> 00:12:12,543 I doubt they'll be able to find 12 people in Connecticut whom you haven't fired. 253 00:12:12,791 --> 00:12:16,065 - I can't believe you won't defend me. - I'm not gonna lie for you. 254 00:12:16,292 --> 00:12:18,599 I want you to tell them how I treat my maids. 255 00:12:18,791 --> 00:12:20,110 I won't lie for you. 256 00:12:20,250 --> 00:12:22,682 All you have to do is tell them I treat the help fairly. 257 00:12:22,875 --> 00:12:24,023 I'm not gonna lie for you. 258 00:12:24,167 --> 00:12:27,394 Lorelai, there is something called family loyalty: 259 00:12:27,625 --> 00:12:29,660 When someone is in trouble, you help them... 260 00:12:29,833 --> 00:12:32,219 as I've helped you several times over the years. 261 00:12:32,416 --> 00:12:34,212 The very least you could do in return... 262 00:12:34,374 --> 00:12:37,602 is spend half an hour saying something kind about your mother. 263 00:12:38,124 --> 00:12:39,158 Fine. 264 00:12:39,291 --> 00:12:41,758 Thank you. Your devotion is touching. 265 00:12:42,374 --> 00:12:45,965 - I have to give a deposition. - I don't think this is Moroccan. 266 00:12:46,207 --> 00:12:47,241 Not recently. 267 00:12:47,374 --> 00:12:48,727 - Want some of mine? - No. 268 00:12:48,874 --> 00:12:50,943 - Yikes. Luke's? - Let's go. 269 00:12:55,291 --> 00:12:58,564 BRIAN: I can't stress enough the value of a good paint job. 270 00:12:58,874 --> 00:13:02,421 The first decision you'll have to make when you open your inn... 271 00:13:02,665 --> 00:13:05,859 is whether to employ your housekeepers individually... 272 00:13:06,082 --> 00:13:09,071 or contract out to a housekeeping service. 273 00:13:09,582 --> 00:13:14,015 If you use a service, you'll be assured of having a replacement housekeeper... 274 00:13:14,290 --> 00:13:17,279 if one should call in sick or quit suddenly... 275 00:13:17,498 --> 00:13:21,806 But you'll pay $2 more an hour and they'll be loyal to the service, not you. 276 00:13:22,081 --> 00:13:25,196 However, you'll probably end up paying a bit more... 277 00:13:25,415 --> 00:13:27,211 than if you hired them individually. 278 00:13:27,373 --> 00:13:29,362 I can't believe you're taking notes. 279 00:13:29,540 --> 00:13:32,847 He has said nothing in the last two hours that we didn't already know... 280 00:13:33,081 --> 00:13:35,116 and he's saying it really condescendingly. 281 00:13:35,290 --> 00:13:37,677 In addition to being bored, I'm getting hostile... 282 00:13:37,873 --> 00:13:40,669 and insecure because you're studying and I'm not. 283 00:13:40,873 --> 00:13:42,385 - Pick a color. - Pink! 284 00:13:42,540 --> 00:13:44,256 - 'Cause you're a girl. - Exactly. 285 00:13:44,415 --> 00:13:46,801 - P-I-N-K. Pick a number. - Five. 286 00:13:47,956 --> 00:13:50,627 You will marry Shaun Cassidy and cheat with David. 287 00:13:50,831 --> 00:13:53,218 - Good for me. - My turn. 288 00:13:53,748 --> 00:13:55,623 Some of us are here to learn. 289 00:13:55,789 --> 00:13:57,539 - Sorry. - Sorry. 290 00:13:57,956 --> 00:14:00,388 - We had a cootie-catcher. - We're sorry. 291 00:14:00,581 --> 00:14:04,491 As I was saying, the points we've covered should get you started. 292 00:14:04,748 --> 00:14:08,214 But remember, it's a long process. 293 00:14:08,456 --> 00:14:10,127 So don't get discouraged. 294 00:14:10,581 --> 00:14:12,889 I'm sure one day I'll be staying... 295 00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:15,035 in each and every one of your inns. 296 00:14:15,206 --> 00:14:17,434 - He's not staying in our inn. - Thank you. 297 00:14:17,623 --> 00:14:20,850 Now, don't run off just yet. We've got one final treat. 298 00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:23,910 I'd like to introduce you all to John Mattern. 299 00:14:25,497 --> 00:14:28,770 Hello, everyone. I'm very pleased to be here addressing you today. 300 00:14:28,997 --> 00:14:32,509 I asked Brian if I could just have a few minutes at the end of today... 301 00:14:32,747 --> 00:14:34,736 to show you all some opportunities... 302 00:14:34,914 --> 00:14:37,869 that I think you're going to find really exciting. 303 00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:40,194 I know that I do. If we could. 304 00:14:42,371 --> 00:14:45,326 This is a lovely property that has just become available... 305 00:14:45,538 --> 00:14:47,050 right outside of Litchfield. 306 00:14:47,205 --> 00:14:48,603 It's a sales pitch? 307 00:14:48,747 --> 00:14:52,782 They spent two hours telling us nothing and then try to sell us lame property? 308 00:14:53,038 --> 00:14:55,505 - We already know the place we're buying. - I know. 309 00:14:55,705 --> 00:14:56,932 So what do we do? 310 00:14:57,079 --> 00:14:59,717 I'm crushing your head. Let's go. 311 00:15:00,371 --> 00:15:04,042 A perfectly restorable sun porch wraps around the entire main structure. 312 00:15:04,288 --> 00:15:06,675 Let's step inside this diamond in the rough. 313 00:15:07,622 --> 00:15:11,327 Unbelievable, shocking, working at an inn and learning so little. 314 00:15:11,580 --> 00:15:12,852 We must be dumb. 315 00:15:12,996 --> 00:15:16,065 Who would ever think that inns need doors and floors? 316 00:15:16,288 --> 00:15:18,925 - Doors and floors, we can't afford that. - We'd better... 317 00:15:19,121 --> 00:15:22,747 - or our guests will fall right into China. - Can you imagine the phone calls? 318 00:15:22,996 --> 00:15:25,507 What was Jackson thinking saying these courses were good? 319 00:15:25,704 --> 00:15:28,420 You're asking me. The man took a course in diary-writing. 320 00:15:28,621 --> 00:15:29,769 Thank God, food. 321 00:15:29,913 --> 00:15:32,902 Is it worth it if we made up our $75 admission fee in cookies? 322 00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:35,792 Considering that in the past hour I uttered the phrase: 323 00:15:36,078 --> 00:15:38,386 "My God, I should have listened to Michel"... 324 00:15:38,579 --> 00:15:40,534 these better be the best cookies in the world. 325 00:15:40,704 --> 00:15:42,659 And they taste like feet. 326 00:15:42,871 --> 00:15:45,826 Even their cookies suck. Stand by, I'm going in for coffee. 327 00:15:46,204 --> 00:15:48,079 Sookie? Sookie St. James? 328 00:15:48,329 --> 00:15:50,761 It's Joe, Joe Mastoni, from the Deerhill Lodge. 329 00:15:50,953 --> 00:15:54,658 Oh, my God! Joe from the Deerhill Lodge! 330 00:15:54,912 --> 00:15:56,549 It's Joe from the Deerhill Lodge. 331 00:15:56,703 --> 00:15:59,056 How are you? Sorry. 332 00:15:59,412 --> 00:16:00,684 Come here. 333 00:16:01,745 --> 00:16:03,814 Lorelai, this is Joe. Joe, Lorelai. 334 00:16:03,995 --> 00:16:06,348 Nice to meet you. This is Alex, my partner. 335 00:16:06,536 --> 00:16:07,570 Business partner. 336 00:16:07,703 --> 00:16:10,011 Clarification duly noted. Nice to meet you. 337 00:16:10,204 --> 00:16:12,511 Joe and I worked one summer in the Berkshires. 338 00:16:12,703 --> 00:16:14,533 We had a wild time that summer, didn't we? 339 00:16:14,703 --> 00:16:16,056 A wild time? Do tell. 340 00:16:16,203 --> 00:16:17,601 We'd all work 14 hours... 341 00:16:17,745 --> 00:16:22,416 party till dawn, then pile in Joe's van, and wake up in New Hampshire or Maine... 342 00:16:22,703 --> 00:16:25,010 with just enough time to get back for the next shift. 343 00:16:25,203 --> 00:16:29,113 We had a real interesting group: Sookie, me, Feldman, Mellon, Bung. 344 00:16:29,369 --> 00:16:31,012 LORELAI: Bung? SOOKIE: He was the grill man. 345 00:16:31,036 --> 00:16:32,954 He'd been up there for a couple of years already. 346 00:16:33,078 --> 00:16:36,033 - But Joe and I were both in prep. - And I repeat: Bung? 347 00:16:36,244 --> 00:16:38,552 I'm still wondering if Melton's a man or a woman. 348 00:16:38,744 --> 00:16:40,653 I promised myself after that summer... 349 00:16:40,827 --> 00:16:43,214 I would never chop small green things en masse ever again. 350 00:16:43,411 --> 00:16:46,525 Or drink leftover wine on an empty stomach. 351 00:16:46,744 --> 00:16:48,494 JOE: Let me see your hands. 352 00:16:48,827 --> 00:16:51,418 - Hey, nice blisters. - Let me see yours. 353 00:16:51,702 --> 00:16:53,338 Oh, not bad. 354 00:16:53,494 --> 00:16:56,052 I'm careful about using towels with the hot stuff these days. 355 00:16:56,244 --> 00:16:58,755 - Sissy. - Yeah. So what are you doing here? 356 00:16:58,952 --> 00:17:01,668 Lorelai and I are opening an inn together, so we came for a class. 357 00:17:01,869 --> 00:17:05,018 Really? We're here for a class about opening your own coffee place. 358 00:17:05,285 --> 00:17:07,240 - Chain of coffee places. - That's great. 359 00:17:07,452 --> 00:17:10,601 - We'll see, it's new territory for us. - He at least knows the food industry. 360 00:17:10,827 --> 00:17:13,384 I'm from ironwork. I know what the security gate... 361 00:17:13,577 --> 00:17:15,850 - you pull down is made of. - Don't listen to him. 362 00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:18,104 - He is an incredible businessman. - That's true. 363 00:17:18,285 --> 00:17:20,194 So far we've got a business model planned out. 364 00:17:20,369 --> 00:17:22,563 There are a few prime locations we're interested in. 365 00:17:22,743 --> 00:17:25,732 The only thing left to do, besides building it, is pick a name. 366 00:17:25,951 --> 00:17:28,986 - Little tip: Don't choose anything cute. - Oh, like "Jitters." 367 00:17:29,202 --> 00:17:30,998 - "Spill the Beans." - "Higher Ground." 368 00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:32,194 Or "The Mud House." 369 00:17:32,327 --> 00:17:34,474 - Actually, I like that. - Me too, we call dibs. 370 00:17:34,660 --> 00:17:37,536 - Weren't you opening an inn? - Keeping our options open. 371 00:17:37,743 --> 00:17:41,051 - You hear about Feldman's restaurant? - The Feldster opened a restaurant? 372 00:17:41,284 --> 00:17:43,035 I know I'm repeating, but "The Feldster"? 373 00:17:43,202 --> 00:17:44,918 I can't believe he opened his own place. 374 00:17:45,077 --> 00:17:47,987 - He spent the summer getting stoned. - He was our baker. 375 00:17:48,201 --> 00:17:50,918 - That figures. - Baker, getting baked, I'm there. 376 00:17:51,117 --> 00:17:53,391 Congrats. You still can't have "The Mud House." 377 00:17:53,701 --> 00:17:55,292 Remember the last reception we catered? 378 00:17:55,451 --> 00:17:58,008 The parakeets, everyone dressed as knights and ladies. 379 00:17:58,242 --> 00:17:59,436 Oh, God. 380 00:17:59,576 --> 00:18:02,133 - Old friends? - Yeah, there's nothing like them. 381 00:18:02,326 --> 00:18:05,838 I never figured out how Bung got into a fight with the bride. 382 00:18:06,076 --> 00:18:09,350 Everything was fine then he was beating her with the ice sculpture. 383 00:18:09,576 --> 00:18:12,531 Remember when you and Fat Sal got locked in the freezer overnight? 384 00:18:12,742 --> 00:18:14,890 - Fat Sal? - Work with me here. 385 00:18:15,076 --> 00:18:16,667 Oh, Fat Sal, right. 386 00:18:16,825 --> 00:18:19,383 Then Feldman got into a fight with the bride's mother. 387 00:18:19,575 --> 00:18:22,008 That's right! He went after the whole bridal party. 388 00:18:22,201 --> 00:18:24,553 - Remember how me and the Bruiser... - Never liked him. 389 00:18:24,742 --> 00:18:27,652 We found you guys in the morning frozen together like bacon. 390 00:18:27,867 --> 00:18:29,458 I still can't eat bacon. 391 00:18:29,617 --> 00:18:31,572 Remember what Feldman told the cops? 392 00:18:31,742 --> 00:18:33,572 Oh, yeah! 393 00:18:34,450 --> 00:18:36,325 Then before Bruiser and I would let you out... 394 00:18:36,492 --> 00:18:39,607 - we made you and Fat Sal kiss? - I'm not sure I remember that. 395 00:18:39,867 --> 00:18:43,379 You know, I actually don't remember what Feldman told the cops. 396 00:18:43,617 --> 00:18:45,811 He tried to pretend he didn't speak English, remember? 397 00:18:45,991 --> 00:18:49,583 - That's right, the "flooginshorts." - Yes, the "flooginshorts." 398 00:18:49,824 --> 00:18:52,177 Great, now we have to make up our own language? 399 00:18:52,367 --> 00:18:53,561 This is exhausting. 400 00:18:53,950 --> 00:18:56,905 - His restaurant is right here in Hartford. - No, really? 401 00:18:57,116 --> 00:18:59,582 We should swing by one night and bust his chops. 402 00:18:59,783 --> 00:19:03,738 We'll keep sending back plate after plate until he gets so angry he comes out. 403 00:19:03,991 --> 00:19:05,219 - Let's make a plan. - Sure. 404 00:19:05,367 --> 00:19:07,276 Call me at the Independence Inn, where we work. 405 00:19:07,449 --> 00:19:08,643 - For now. - Sounds great. 406 00:19:08,783 --> 00:19:10,931 - So glad we ran into each other. - Me, too. 407 00:19:11,116 --> 00:19:13,114 It was nice meeting you. Good luck with everything. 408 00:19:13,282 --> 00:19:14,281 Thanks. You, too. 409 00:19:14,407 --> 00:19:16,173 I'm glad we got a chance to catch up. 410 00:19:16,185 --> 00:19:18,237 If you see Fat Sal, give him a kiss for me. 411 00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:19,889 - I'll do that. - Okay. 412 00:19:22,157 --> 00:19:23,794 JOE: That was a great surprise. 413 00:19:24,241 --> 00:19:27,037 You and that guy knew each other, too? What a coincidence. 414 00:19:27,241 --> 00:19:28,674 Come on, honey. 415 00:19:32,699 --> 00:19:34,176 How many times do I tell them? 416 00:19:34,324 --> 00:19:37,552 You can't put a 2-inch ladle of gravy into a 1-inch potato crater. 417 00:19:37,823 --> 00:19:40,131 You need a smaller ladle or a bigger crater. 418 00:19:40,324 --> 00:19:41,438 Or you get this. 419 00:19:41,574 --> 00:19:43,324 - Gravy on your asparagus. - Yes. 420 00:19:43,491 --> 00:19:46,241 The cafeteria workers serve hundreds of students a day. 421 00:19:46,449 --> 00:19:48,284 A little gravy spillage is natural. 422 00:19:48,296 --> 00:19:50,642 So I should just sit quietly and shovel in... 423 00:19:50,907 --> 00:19:53,817 whatever slop they throw my way, like inmates in the chow line... 424 00:19:54,032 --> 00:19:57,067 at Leavenworth, doing 20 to life? I don't think so. 425 00:19:57,281 --> 00:19:58,953 I'll save your seat. 426 00:20:23,365 --> 00:20:24,637 [Crashing] 427 00:20:25,906 --> 00:20:28,464 They took my tray. I can't believe they took my tray. 428 00:20:28,656 --> 00:20:32,169 I just told them I wanted some new asparagus, and they took my tray. 429 00:20:32,614 --> 00:20:35,524 I also told them to buy a slightly looser hairnet... 430 00:20:35,739 --> 00:20:38,489 that wouldn't squish the part of the brain that can judge depth... 431 00:20:38,697 --> 00:20:41,573 and measurements, and then they took my tray, but still. 432 00:20:41,781 --> 00:20:42,895 Now what? 433 00:20:44,239 --> 00:20:45,876 Are you gonna eat that? 434 00:21:12,405 --> 00:21:14,962 Good, you're here. We need to talk. 435 00:21:15,155 --> 00:21:17,666 We have three classes together. We couldn't talk then? 436 00:21:17,863 --> 00:21:19,534 I thought alone would be better. 437 00:21:19,780 --> 00:21:21,530 Besides, you picked the place. 438 00:21:21,696 --> 00:21:23,208 What do you want? 439 00:21:23,363 --> 00:21:25,352 - I want a truce. - Excuse me? 440 00:21:25,988 --> 00:21:28,420 A truce. You know. No more fighty-fighty? 441 00:21:28,613 --> 00:21:30,046 I don't believe you. 442 00:21:30,321 --> 00:21:31,355 Look. 443 00:21:32,114 --> 00:21:35,182 This is not the way I wanted things to work out. Honestly. 444 00:21:35,405 --> 00:21:39,599 Yes, the hemline thing bugged me and Paris is not my idea of a secret sister. 445 00:21:39,863 --> 00:21:42,454 - I never intended for things to go so far. - No. 446 00:21:42,655 --> 00:21:44,962 It's my senior year, too. 447 00:21:45,154 --> 00:21:48,348 Why would I want to spend time scheming and fighting? It's exhausting. 448 00:21:48,571 --> 00:21:52,481 I want to stop this war, this vendetta, this Sicilian thing. 449 00:21:53,154 --> 00:21:55,302 - It must end. - This seems awful sudden. 450 00:21:55,488 --> 00:21:58,954 My time is precious. If I'm not going to truly commit to a grudge... 451 00:21:59,196 --> 00:22:01,424 I'd like to move on and put that energy elsewhere. 452 00:22:01,612 --> 00:22:03,806 Come on, what do you say? Friends? 453 00:22:04,363 --> 00:22:06,238 - Sort of. - Friends. 454 00:22:06,946 --> 00:22:08,981 - Sort of. - Shake. 455 00:22:11,821 --> 00:22:14,015 [High pitched whining] 456 00:22:19,278 --> 00:22:20,597 Stop doing that. 457 00:22:26,904 --> 00:22:29,290 You'll come in early and set up the conference room... 458 00:22:29,487 --> 00:22:31,715 - for the group from Michigan. - Yes, I will. 459 00:22:31,903 --> 00:22:33,301 Sookie's on top of the menu. 460 00:22:33,445 --> 00:22:37,036 Make sure the dining room is open. We need to confirm the rooms they need. 461 00:22:37,278 --> 00:22:40,506 I have this written on a notepad right next to my self-help book: 462 00:22:40,736 --> 00:22:43,453 Why Don't People Think You Know What the Hell You're Doing? 463 00:22:43,653 --> 00:22:46,370 Sorry, I'm a little stressed. This whole deposition thing. 464 00:22:46,569 --> 00:22:49,036 - Relax, it's very easy. - It is? 465 00:22:49,237 --> 00:22:51,510 - You've done it? - Once. It was nothing. 466 00:22:51,695 --> 00:22:54,366 - Why were you deposed? - My neighbor had this dog... 467 00:22:54,569 --> 00:22:58,445 A frisky little scamp that loved to yap to friends all night. It was so cute. 468 00:22:58,695 --> 00:23:01,969 Then one day he disappeared. I told the police what I knew. 469 00:23:02,194 --> 00:23:06,229 But sadly the adorable little chatterbox was never found. It was tragic. 470 00:23:07,152 --> 00:23:09,664 - You got rid of a dog? - No. 471 00:23:09,861 --> 00:23:11,293 How could you get rid of a dog? 472 00:23:11,444 --> 00:23:15,229 I will show you the lawyer's transcript and the results of the lie detector test. 473 00:23:15,486 --> 00:23:17,680 - You're heinous. - And very well-rested. 474 00:23:18,819 --> 00:23:21,286 - Hi, remember me? - Of course I do. 475 00:23:21,486 --> 00:23:23,918 - Nice to see you again. - This is a beautiful place. 476 00:23:24,111 --> 00:23:26,622 - Well, keeps the rain off. - Right. 477 00:23:26,986 --> 00:23:28,055 Is Sookie around? 478 00:23:28,194 --> 00:23:31,263 Yeah, she is. Right through there, in the kitchen. 479 00:23:31,485 --> 00:23:32,713 Thank you. 480 00:23:33,278 --> 00:23:35,267 Here, give me those. I'll file them with the rest. 481 00:23:35,443 --> 00:23:36,512 [Growling] 482 00:23:36,652 --> 00:23:38,164 Stop that. 483 00:23:39,944 --> 00:23:42,013 - I'll just be a minute. - No, don't rush. 484 00:23:42,194 --> 00:23:44,944 I was almost done with dinner, then I changed my mind... 485 00:23:45,152 --> 00:23:47,030 - about the appetizers. - Sounds like old times. 486 00:23:47,193 --> 00:23:49,944 This place is a long way from the sweatbox of the Deerhill. 487 00:23:50,151 --> 00:23:52,186 We've upgraded a lot the past few years. 488 00:23:52,360 --> 00:23:55,509 We got a new refrigerated table and replaced the vertical mixers. 489 00:23:55,735 --> 00:23:58,850 - You still got the 52-inch Viking. - I just like how big it is. 490 00:23:59,068 --> 00:24:03,456 I blew it up once. But I had it rebuilt. I refuse to cook on anything else. 491 00:24:03,735 --> 00:24:06,326 - Stick with what you know. - Exactly. Taste this. 492 00:24:07,985 --> 00:24:10,054 - A bit more brandy. - I knew you'd say that. 493 00:24:10,235 --> 00:24:12,872 - People like brandy. - You mean you like brandy... 494 00:24:13,068 --> 00:24:16,023 And I'm people. We always had a good time together, didn't we? 495 00:24:16,235 --> 00:24:18,667 - It was a good group. - You always made it better. 496 00:24:18,859 --> 00:24:21,053 I kept you fools from driving off a mountainside. 497 00:24:21,235 --> 00:24:22,234 Very true. 498 00:24:22,359 --> 00:24:25,236 I'm glad we ran into each other. You rarely get a second chance. 499 00:24:25,442 --> 00:24:26,556 What do you mean? 500 00:24:26,693 --> 00:24:29,682 I can't tell you how often I've kicked myself for not asking you out. 501 00:24:29,901 --> 00:24:33,527 We always ended up talking about making calves liver or something. 502 00:24:33,776 --> 00:24:35,924 - Sautéed with caramelized onions. - Exactly. 503 00:24:36,109 --> 00:24:39,462 At the Learning Center, it was like fate was saying, "Here you go, man." 504 00:24:39,693 --> 00:24:41,284 "Try not to screw it up again." 505 00:24:41,442 --> 00:24:43,431 Things had to happen in their own time. 506 00:24:43,609 --> 00:24:44,881 In their own time. 507 00:24:45,942 --> 00:24:49,170 Could you just stir? I'll be back. 508 00:24:51,234 --> 00:24:54,383 Sir, I'm afraid we don't offer a complimentary breakfast. 509 00:24:56,234 --> 00:24:58,428 Sir, I realize the Ramada does. 510 00:24:58,775 --> 00:25:02,208 If you like, I could recommend a few places in town. 511 00:25:03,859 --> 00:25:07,167 Why don't you talk to your wife and call me back? 512 00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:08,673 Okay, 'bye. 513 00:25:09,358 --> 00:25:12,552 - Shields and Yarnell, what's going on? - He thinks it's a date. 514 00:25:12,775 --> 00:25:14,207 Joe, he thinks this is a date. 515 00:25:14,358 --> 00:25:15,631 - Is he crazy? - Exactly. 516 00:25:15,775 --> 00:25:18,286 - You were there, it's not a date, is it? - No. 517 00:25:18,483 --> 00:25:20,757 You were going to go bust Feldster's chops. 518 00:25:20,942 --> 00:25:22,772 - That's not a date. - That's what I thought. 519 00:25:22,942 --> 00:25:26,169 He keeps saying how he liked me and how this is his second chance. 520 00:25:26,400 --> 00:25:28,435 - He's liked you for 10 years? - Yes. 521 00:25:29,358 --> 00:25:32,234 - That is some serious Great Gatsby pining. - I know. 522 00:25:32,441 --> 00:25:35,317 - You're his Daisy. - I am. I'm his Daisy. 523 00:25:35,525 --> 00:25:37,639 - I'm someone's Daisy. - Very flattering. 524 00:25:37,816 --> 00:25:40,044 It is. But I didn't bring it on, did I? 525 00:25:40,233 --> 00:25:42,063 - Did I flirt? - You did not flirt. 526 00:25:42,233 --> 00:25:43,824 - You were talking about Bung. - Right. 527 00:25:43,983 --> 00:25:46,370 You can't flirt when talking about Bung. It's impossible. 528 00:25:46,566 --> 00:25:48,317 He read into it because he wanted to. 529 00:25:48,482 --> 00:25:50,074 What's Jackson going to say? 530 00:25:50,233 --> 00:25:52,188 It's a misunderstanding. He'll be fine. 531 00:25:52,357 --> 00:25:53,994 Go and explain it to Joe. 532 00:25:54,150 --> 00:25:56,582 What do I tell him? He's waited 10 years for this. 533 00:25:56,774 --> 00:25:58,843 How can you hand out that kind of rejection? 534 00:25:59,024 --> 00:26:02,536 - I could tell him I've become a lesbian. - "I'm married" might work. 535 00:26:02,774 --> 00:26:05,160 Right, I'm married. Good, that's very good. 536 00:26:05,774 --> 00:26:07,922 It'll be fine. He's a nice guy with good taste. 537 00:26:08,107 --> 00:26:09,665 - I'm his Daisy. - Be happy later. 538 00:26:09,816 --> 00:26:11,566 Right. I'm going in. 539 00:26:12,149 --> 00:26:13,582 Independence Inn, Lorelai speaking. 540 00:26:15,649 --> 00:26:18,081 At the risk of seeming like Joe the Drunken Chef... 541 00:26:18,274 --> 00:26:20,263 I added more port to the sauce. 542 00:26:20,441 --> 00:26:22,668 - Now, just promise to try it. - Joe, we need to talk. 543 00:26:22,857 --> 00:26:24,255 You've mellowed. 544 00:26:24,399 --> 00:26:27,434 In the old days, you'd have called me an idiot and dumped it in the trash. 545 00:26:27,648 --> 00:26:29,842 It's not that. You put in more port? 546 00:26:30,149 --> 00:26:33,104 This is a pheasant sauce, not the punch bowl at a frat party. 547 00:26:33,315 --> 00:26:34,349 Just try it. 548 00:26:34,481 --> 00:26:37,073 No, that's not what I meant to say. It's just... 549 00:26:37,898 --> 00:26:39,534 there's been a misunderstanding. 550 00:26:39,690 --> 00:26:42,645 I thought this thing tonight was just a friends thing. 551 00:26:42,940 --> 00:26:45,497 - You know, not like a date thing. - Oh. 552 00:26:45,690 --> 00:26:50,156 Not that going out with you would be bad. Except it would be very, very bad. 553 00:26:51,356 --> 00:26:54,709 But only because I'm married. I meant to say that first. See? 554 00:26:55,022 --> 00:26:58,375 Last May, I just... Where's my... Hang on. 555 00:26:58,606 --> 00:27:00,515 See. This was supposed to be... 556 00:27:00,814 --> 00:27:03,849 when I hold my hand up, 'cause otherwise, "Whatcha doin'," right? 557 00:27:04,064 --> 00:27:05,735 Okay. Here. 558 00:27:05,897 --> 00:27:07,966 I take it off when I'm cooking, but, look... 559 00:27:08,148 --> 00:27:10,535 there it is, right where it should be, on my finger. 560 00:27:10,731 --> 00:27:12,720 - You're married. - Yes, I am. 561 00:27:12,981 --> 00:27:14,254 I hope that's okay. 562 00:27:14,398 --> 00:27:16,671 If your husband's good with it, how can I complain? 563 00:27:16,856 --> 00:27:18,652 - You're not mad? - Why would I be mad? 564 00:27:18,814 --> 00:27:22,849 - Because you thought this was a date. - Not mad. Feeling a little stupid. 565 00:27:23,106 --> 00:27:26,016 - Here, let me give you some money. - I didn't spend any money. 566 00:27:26,231 --> 00:27:27,902 Let me give you some money anyway. 567 00:27:28,064 --> 00:27:31,337 I'll be mad if you throw the sauce out before you try it, okay? 568 00:27:31,564 --> 00:27:32,563 Okay. 569 00:27:32,689 --> 00:27:36,121 Tell you what. Why don't we make a plan to harass Feldman some other time? 570 00:27:36,355 --> 00:27:39,151 You can bring your husband and I'll see if I can get a real date. 571 00:27:39,355 --> 00:27:42,026 That'd be fun. Come on, I'll walk you out. 572 00:27:42,313 --> 00:27:45,666 You know, we could even get some of the old gang together. 573 00:27:45,896 --> 00:27:47,169 I'll drive. 574 00:27:49,022 --> 00:27:51,738 I guess this'll teach me not to wait ten years next time. 575 00:27:51,938 --> 00:27:54,610 - Anyway, I'll give you a call. - 'Bye, Joe. 576 00:27:56,355 --> 00:28:00,106 See, he's smiling. I knew it was nothing to get worked up over. 577 00:28:00,563 --> 00:28:02,871 You obviously let him down very well. 578 00:28:03,063 --> 00:28:05,415 Now, maybe you guys can be friends. 579 00:28:05,646 --> 00:28:06,965 I'm a whore! 580 00:28:08,312 --> 00:28:10,745 LORELAI: This is silly. I know how to answer a question. 581 00:28:10,938 --> 00:28:14,007 It's your first deposition. Grandma's lawyers want you to be prepared. 582 00:28:14,229 --> 00:28:15,423 Sample questions. Great. 583 00:28:15,563 --> 00:28:18,552 It's bad enough I have to give a deposition, now I have to study for it? 584 00:28:18,771 --> 00:28:20,282 - Shall we begin? - Go ahead. 585 00:28:20,438 --> 00:28:22,871 "Please describe how your mother runs her household." 586 00:28:23,062 --> 00:28:25,859 Do you remember the rowing scene in Ben Hur? 587 00:28:26,062 --> 00:28:29,415 Did that reference date me? I should've gone with the Express Yourself video? 588 00:28:29,646 --> 00:28:32,203 - Should we stop? - Sorry. Ask me another. 589 00:28:32,479 --> 00:28:34,956 "Would you say your mother is an easy woman to get along with?" 590 00:28:35,104 --> 00:28:37,491 - No. Next. - You're not taking this seriously. 591 00:28:37,687 --> 00:28:40,676 - I am taking this seriously. - You can't say that. 592 00:28:40,979 --> 00:28:43,650 Oh, so you want me to lie. 593 00:28:43,854 --> 00:28:47,082 No, you don't have to lie, it's all about how you present the truth. 594 00:28:47,313 --> 00:28:51,143 For example, you could have said, "My mother is a perfectionist." 595 00:28:51,562 --> 00:28:53,551 Do you promise to visit Mommy in jail? 596 00:28:53,729 --> 00:28:56,196 - Yes, I do. - Okay, then. My mother is a perfectionist. 597 00:28:56,395 --> 00:28:58,748 - Very good. - Oh, hey. Where are you going? 598 00:28:59,021 --> 00:29:01,817 I'm going to Doose's because we are out of food. 599 00:29:02,021 --> 00:29:03,293 How can you be out of food? 600 00:29:03,437 --> 00:29:06,074 It starts with, "Jess, you do the ordering this week." 601 00:29:06,270 --> 00:29:08,828 And ends with me selling Kirk a lettuce sandwich. 602 00:29:09,020 --> 00:29:09,962 We've eaten those. 603 00:29:09,974 --> 00:29:12,169 I'll pick up stuff to hold us till tomorrow. 604 00:29:12,395 --> 00:29:13,906 - Get burgers. - Tater tots. 605 00:29:14,061 --> 00:29:15,811 - And pickles. - Okay. Hold on a sec. 606 00:29:15,978 --> 00:29:18,774 Burgers, tater tots, pickles. You want cheese on the burger? 607 00:29:18,978 --> 00:29:20,126 - Cheddar. - And Swiss. 608 00:29:20,270 --> 00:29:21,906 - Dessert? - We have to decide now? 609 00:29:22,061 --> 00:29:24,050 - I would seriously advise it. - Pie. 610 00:29:24,228 --> 00:29:26,785 - Cherry. - And whipped cream and dental floss. 611 00:29:26,978 --> 00:29:29,126 And paper towels and People magazine. 612 00:29:29,312 --> 00:29:30,744 We're really hungry. 613 00:29:45,020 --> 00:29:47,816 Paris, good. I so need to talk to you. 614 00:29:50,185 --> 00:29:51,458 Are you lost? 615 00:29:53,936 --> 00:29:57,402 First of all, I really want to commend you on your job as president so far. 616 00:29:57,644 --> 00:29:58,678 Thank you. 617 00:29:58,811 --> 00:30:01,799 The way you negotiated on some of those convoluted school issues. 618 00:30:02,019 --> 00:30:04,133 Mind-blowing. I watch in awe. 619 00:30:05,227 --> 00:30:06,943 And that's why this is so hard... 620 00:30:07,102 --> 00:30:09,216 because I have major respect for you. 621 00:30:09,394 --> 00:30:12,860 The last thing I would want is you getting the wrong impression of my loyalties. 622 00:30:13,102 --> 00:30:14,613 What are you talking about? 623 00:30:14,768 --> 00:30:18,439 These were shoved in my locker this morning. I didn't know what to do. 624 00:30:18,685 --> 00:30:20,640 So I thought to myself, I'll show them to Paris. 625 00:30:20,810 --> 00:30:24,686 - I'll explain and she'll understand. - Explain what, what is this? 626 00:30:25,227 --> 00:30:28,103 Rory came to me and said she wanted to talk about some things. 627 00:30:28,310 --> 00:30:31,823 You know, policy, the prom, the senior gift, etc. 628 00:30:32,143 --> 00:30:34,212 So I said, "Why don't we talk about them..." 629 00:30:34,393 --> 00:30:36,382 "At the student council meeting with Paris?" 630 00:30:36,560 --> 00:30:38,629 She says she'll do this without Paris. 631 00:30:38,810 --> 00:30:41,367 She said, "She is too wrapped up in her boyfriend..." 632 00:30:41,560 --> 00:30:43,992 "To care about any of this." I didn't know what to do. 633 00:30:44,185 --> 00:30:47,970 So I went and then I found these, and I'm just so upset. 634 00:30:48,226 --> 00:30:51,772 I mean, I would never intentionally do anything behind your back, Paris. 635 00:30:52,018 --> 00:30:56,485 I promise the next time she tries to get me, I'll say, "Talk to the hand," you know? 636 00:30:56,767 --> 00:31:00,722 - Yes, I know what you mean. - Are you mad? Say you're not mad. 637 00:31:01,143 --> 00:31:03,623 I couldn't live if I thought you were mad. 638 00:31:03,635 --> 00:31:04,655 No, I'm not mad. 639 00:31:05,642 --> 00:31:07,120 [Door opening] 640 00:31:08,851 --> 00:31:10,760 Well, thank God for that. 641 00:31:14,267 --> 00:31:17,018 WOMAN: Okay, class, we will begin in five minutes. 642 00:31:18,893 --> 00:31:21,769 Does your helmet smell? I always get one that smells. 643 00:31:21,976 --> 00:31:24,964 You'd think the brain trust behind PE could come up with a sport... 644 00:31:25,184 --> 00:31:27,651 - that wouldn't give you helmet hair. - Like badminton. 645 00:31:27,851 --> 00:31:29,328 - Striptease aerobics. - What? 646 00:31:29,476 --> 00:31:32,511 Really big in L.A. You go through the motions, you don't have to strip. 647 00:31:32,726 --> 00:31:34,362 Do the others throw money at you? 648 00:31:34,517 --> 00:31:37,393 Mock. But tell me this, have you seen an overweight stripper? 649 00:31:37,601 --> 00:31:40,158 The word "no" seems so inadequate all of a sudden. 650 00:31:40,350 --> 00:31:42,225 - Where have you been? - Washing my hands. 651 00:31:42,517 --> 00:31:43,550 Okay. 652 00:31:43,683 --> 00:31:45,434 All right, everyone. Take your places. 653 00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:48,430 We will warm up with your counter-sixte riposte-quarte. 654 00:31:48,641 --> 00:31:52,029 - Melanie, please lead the group. - Oh, my God, there's a hair in mine. 655 00:31:52,267 --> 00:31:54,256 Close your eyes and think of England, honey. 656 00:31:54,433 --> 00:31:58,263 Isn't it strange to be practicing a sport whose original purpose was to kill people? 657 00:31:58,516 --> 00:32:01,346 It's like if high schools of the future had artillery teams... 658 00:32:01,600 --> 00:32:03,714 or high-altitude bombing or something. 659 00:32:04,058 --> 00:32:07,968 Beginning salute. En garde. Right side, advance. 660 00:32:08,224 --> 00:32:09,940 - You okay? - Right side, retreat. 661 00:32:10,099 --> 00:32:11,497 - Why do you ask? - And lunge. 662 00:32:11,641 --> 00:32:13,993 - You just seem weird. - Left side, advance. 663 00:32:14,641 --> 00:32:16,630 - Easy there, Paris. - Left side, retreat. 664 00:32:16,807 --> 00:32:18,955 - We're fencing, not playing pattycake. - Lunge. 665 00:32:19,141 --> 00:32:21,210 It's interesting how you think you know someone. 666 00:32:21,391 --> 00:32:24,460 - Right side, quarte lunge. - You trust a person, you rely on a person. 667 00:32:24,682 --> 00:32:27,274 Then you realize you've been had. Ever experience that? 668 00:32:27,475 --> 00:32:28,474 Riposte. 669 00:32:28,599 --> 00:32:29,952 - Paris. - I hate being had. 670 00:32:30,099 --> 00:32:33,293 Why are you saying this? You're not supposed to be parrying that hard. 671 00:32:33,515 --> 00:32:36,584 Sorry. Maybe I should turn around so you can stick it in my back. 672 00:32:36,807 --> 00:32:38,682 - What? - I saw the pictures. 673 00:32:38,891 --> 00:32:40,527 - Pictures? - You know what pictures. 674 00:32:40,682 --> 00:32:43,558 - Obviously I don't know. - The pictures of you and Francie. 675 00:32:43,766 --> 00:32:46,516 - Me and Francie? - In the parking garage, talking about me. 676 00:32:46,724 --> 00:32:49,235 - Don't make that face. - What face? I'm wearing a mask. 677 00:32:49,432 --> 00:32:51,110 "I'm Rory, don't you want to pet me?" face. 678 00:32:51,265 --> 00:32:53,220 You've been meeting behind my back. 679 00:32:53,390 --> 00:32:55,618 - We haven't, we met once. - You admit it. 680 00:32:55,849 --> 00:32:58,281 - Yes, but it wasn't what you think! - Brutus. 681 00:33:08,931 --> 00:33:10,886 Paris, you have to listen to me. 682 00:33:11,390 --> 00:33:13,776 Francie wanted to meet to call a truce. 683 00:33:13,973 --> 00:33:15,292 She took those pictures of us. 684 00:33:15,432 --> 00:33:18,308 - She's setting me up, manipulating you. - Of course she is! 685 00:33:18,514 --> 00:33:20,708 I know when someone's trying to manipulate me. 686 00:33:20,890 --> 00:33:24,243 It doesn't change the fact that you met with her behind my back. 687 00:33:25,098 --> 00:33:26,976 RORY: I was trying to help you! PARIS: You were? 688 00:33:27,140 --> 00:33:30,095 You mean in-between betraying me and selling me out... 689 00:33:30,306 --> 00:33:31,739 you were trying to help me? 690 00:33:31,890 --> 00:33:34,083 You are quite a Renaissance woman, aren't you? 691 00:33:34,264 --> 00:33:35,936 - Stop it! - Make me! 692 00:33:38,389 --> 00:33:41,697 Come back here, Gilmore. Come back and fight like a man. 693 00:33:49,722 --> 00:33:52,519 And the worst part is, you told her about Jamie. 694 00:33:52,722 --> 00:33:55,916 I can't believe I ever considered you my best friend. 695 00:34:04,764 --> 00:34:07,799 I still can't believe I got sucked in like that. 696 00:34:08,014 --> 00:34:10,605 Francie's pure evil, she'll probably wind up President. 697 00:34:10,805 --> 00:34:13,521 Paris is so upset. She totally thinks I betrayed her. 698 00:34:13,722 --> 00:34:15,480 - She'll calm down. - She'll never calm down. 699 00:34:15,555 --> 00:34:17,942 - She'll calm down. - I can't believe I was her best friend. 700 00:34:18,138 --> 00:34:20,127 - I feel awful. - Look, I tell you what. 701 00:34:20,305 --> 00:34:22,943 Go back to school tomorrow and let her stab you. 702 00:34:23,138 --> 00:34:25,605 - Great idea. - I'm nothing if not full of suggestions. 703 00:34:25,805 --> 00:34:27,635 Or full of something. Hey, Grandma. 704 00:34:27,805 --> 00:34:29,635 - Hi, Mom. - Come in, it's cold. 705 00:34:29,805 --> 00:34:32,237 Do you want me to talk to her, arrange a sit-down? 706 00:34:32,430 --> 00:34:33,782 - No, thanks. - Come on. 707 00:34:33,930 --> 00:34:37,204 We'll have it in an Italian restaurant, you'll go to the bathroom... 708 00:34:37,430 --> 00:34:40,146 come out shooting, and then I'll send you to Italy. 709 00:34:40,347 --> 00:34:44,416 - Well, I do want to go to Italy. - Two birds with one stone, my friend. 710 00:34:45,388 --> 00:34:48,536 - Is everything okay? - Of course, why wouldn't it be okay? 711 00:34:48,763 --> 00:34:51,393 I don't know. You just seem a little quiet. 712 00:34:51,405 --> 00:34:52,639 Do I? I guess I do. 713 00:34:53,138 --> 00:34:55,445 I don't really have a lot to say, actually. 714 00:34:55,638 --> 00:34:58,229 I know, why don't I read to you instead? 715 00:34:58,679 --> 00:35:01,112 - What's that? - This? Nothing, just your deposition. 716 00:35:01,304 --> 00:35:05,293 How did you get... Listen. It's fun. Okay. 717 00:35:05,930 --> 00:35:08,840 "Question: Would you say your mother is a tolerant woman?" 718 00:35:09,054 --> 00:35:11,964 - Oh, boy. - "Answer: Well, sure." 719 00:35:12,221 --> 00:35:14,449 - What? I said you were. - You said, "Sure." 720 00:35:14,638 --> 00:35:16,229 Which to most people means yes. 721 00:35:16,387 --> 00:35:19,853 Yes, to most people it does, but your sure is always sarcastic. 722 00:35:20,095 --> 00:35:23,005 I do not have a sarcastic sure, do I? 723 00:35:23,512 --> 00:35:25,308 Pick spot on carpet and stare. 724 00:35:25,471 --> 00:35:28,221 "Question: Why has your mother dismissed maids in the past?" 725 00:35:28,429 --> 00:35:30,225 - Mom. - "Answer: Different reasons." 726 00:35:30,387 --> 00:35:33,535 - Well, that's true, right? - "Can you expand on that? Answer: 727 00:35:33,762 --> 00:35:36,751 - "Gee, how much time do you have?" - Okay, see... 728 00:35:36,970 --> 00:35:40,164 "If you guys have a lunch or an afternoon squash game or something. 729 00:35:40,386 --> 00:35:42,534 "You look like the kind who play squash. 730 00:35:42,720 --> 00:35:46,425 "Why is it called squash? Is it something to do with a fruit or vegetable, right?" 731 00:35:46,678 --> 00:35:48,952 "A squash is a vegetable, though, if you ask me..." 732 00:35:49,136 --> 00:35:51,205 "It's gross no matter what you call it." 733 00:35:51,386 --> 00:35:53,977 "I'm saying you might want to clear your afternoon." 734 00:35:54,178 --> 00:35:56,894 I was flustered, he was using lawyer tricks. 735 00:35:57,094 --> 00:35:59,368 - By asking you to expand? - Now you decide to pipe in? 736 00:35:59,553 --> 00:36:02,064 - Didn't I tell you this was important? - Yes, you did. 737 00:36:02,261 --> 00:36:04,375 Even though I told you it was important... 738 00:36:04,553 --> 00:36:07,508 you couldn't put aside your personal antagonism toward me... 739 00:36:07,719 --> 00:36:09,117 for one day and help me out. 740 00:36:09,261 --> 00:36:12,410 This is not fair. I said a lot of nice things about you in there. 741 00:36:12,636 --> 00:36:13,955 Oh, really? 742 00:36:14,094 --> 00:36:16,480 "Would you say your mother sets impossible goals... 743 00:36:16,677 --> 00:36:18,871 "which people can't help but fail to reach... 744 00:36:19,053 --> 00:36:22,644 "thereby reinforcing her already formed opinion of their deficiencies? 745 00:36:22,886 --> 00:36:26,557 - "Answer: Only for her daughter." - Okay, not there, but keep flipping. 746 00:36:26,802 --> 00:36:29,030 I'm sorry to interrupt, but dinner is ready. 747 00:36:29,219 --> 00:36:31,367 Dinner, hey, dinner's ready. 748 00:36:32,302 --> 00:36:34,177 Who's hungry besides me? 749 00:36:35,761 --> 00:36:39,307 I'd keep it warm, we're going to be here a while. Okay. Go ahead. 750 00:36:39,719 --> 00:36:42,390 "Would you call your mother an extremely critical woman? 751 00:36:42,594 --> 00:36:45,549 "Long pause." Why was there a long pause, Lorelai? 752 00:36:46,677 --> 00:36:48,870 Because I was deliberately trying to hurt you. 753 00:36:49,052 --> 00:36:52,087 "On a scale from one to ten, rate your mother's compassion..." 754 00:36:52,302 --> 00:36:53,621 "For others' feelings?" 755 00:36:53,760 --> 00:36:56,193 - Want to guess what she said? - No, thank you. 756 00:36:56,760 --> 00:37:00,670 Hang on a second, Lorelai. I just want to skip to the Ben Hur reference. 757 00:37:01,718 --> 00:37:03,151 Yeah, I did. 758 00:37:40,926 --> 00:37:43,722 [Creedence Clearwater Revival playing on stereo] 759 00:37:46,176 --> 00:37:48,642 - Sookie, I'm home. I got the... - Surprise! 760 00:37:48,884 --> 00:37:50,873 - What is this? - I made you dinner. 761 00:37:51,051 --> 00:37:54,563 - It smells terrific. - Lamb chops with Sicilian olives... 762 00:37:54,801 --> 00:37:57,517 rosemary and garlic and a warm potato and chorizo salad. 763 00:37:57,717 --> 00:38:00,672 I love Iamb chops with Sicilian olives, rosemary and garlic... 764 00:38:00,884 --> 00:38:03,191 - and a warm potato and chorizo salad. - I know. 765 00:38:03,384 --> 00:38:05,100 - What's that? - Beef jerky. 766 00:38:05,258 --> 00:38:06,736 You made beef jerky for me. 767 00:38:06,884 --> 00:38:09,680 And there's cornbread and fried marshmallow pie for dessert. 768 00:38:09,884 --> 00:38:11,997 - And you have CCR on. - Well, you like CCR. 769 00:38:12,175 --> 00:38:14,608 I know I like CCR, you don't like CCR. 770 00:38:14,801 --> 00:38:17,597 Sometimes I like CCR, and tonight I like CCR. 771 00:38:17,883 --> 00:38:19,758 - You cheated on me! - No! 772 00:38:19,925 --> 00:38:22,392 - Oh, my God! - I just flirted, accidentally! 773 00:38:22,592 --> 00:38:24,467 - Turn it off. - Let me explain. 774 00:38:24,633 --> 00:38:27,543 Every time I hear it now, it'll remind me my wife cheated on me! 775 00:38:27,758 --> 00:38:29,508 Flirted! Accidentally! 776 00:38:29,716 --> 00:38:32,069 You've ruined Creedence for me. 777 00:38:34,300 --> 00:38:37,210 - I'm going to bed. - At 9:30? 778 00:38:37,424 --> 00:38:40,334 Not talking to anyone for a whole day is more tiring than you'd think. 779 00:38:40,549 --> 00:38:43,504 - I hate those girls. - It was the first lunch... 780 00:38:43,716 --> 00:38:47,103 without a recitation of the calorie content of everything on the table. 781 00:38:47,341 --> 00:38:49,489 - It was kind of a relief. - I hate them anyhow. 782 00:38:49,675 --> 00:38:51,346 - Good night. - 'Night, babe. 783 00:38:51,925 --> 00:38:53,436 [Phone ringing] 784 00:38:58,466 --> 00:39:00,501 - Hello. - Lorelai, it's Alex Lesman. 785 00:39:00,675 --> 00:39:02,505 We met at the Learning Center the other day. 786 00:39:02,675 --> 00:39:04,868 My friend accidentally asked your friend out on a date. 787 00:39:05,049 --> 00:39:06,447 - Right, hi. - How are you? 788 00:39:06,633 --> 00:39:08,383 - I'm good. - Fat Sal sends his love. 789 00:39:08,799 --> 00:39:09,833 Right back at him. 790 00:39:09,965 --> 00:39:12,483 It's out of the blue. You'll be wondering how I got your number. 791 00:39:12,674 --> 00:39:15,425 - Information? - No, that would have been far too logical. 792 00:39:15,632 --> 00:39:17,621 I called your inn to leave a message... 793 00:39:17,799 --> 00:39:19,754 but this French guy gave me your home number... 794 00:39:19,924 --> 00:39:23,039 said I shouldn't worry about calling too late since you stay up late. 795 00:39:23,257 --> 00:39:25,894 He's getting fired tomorrow. What's up? 796 00:39:26,132 --> 00:39:28,087 Well, I was wondering something. 797 00:39:29,632 --> 00:39:33,144 On weekends I like to go to different coffee shops, try the coffee. 798 00:39:33,382 --> 00:39:35,769 See if there's anything you can steal and disguise? 799 00:39:35,966 --> 00:39:38,477 Exactly, kind of a low-rent corporate espionage. 800 00:39:38,674 --> 00:39:40,310 Sometimes I'll hit two shops... 801 00:39:40,465 --> 00:39:44,250 that have a surprisingly similar product and I can't decide which is better. 802 00:39:44,507 --> 00:39:46,064 - Bummer. - Yes, bummer. 803 00:39:46,215 --> 00:39:49,886 It might help to have someone there to help me make these crucial evaluations. 804 00:39:50,131 --> 00:39:52,518 An interesting solution to a fascinating problem. 805 00:39:52,714 --> 00:39:54,511 So what are you doing this Saturday? 806 00:39:54,673 --> 00:39:58,788 I just happen to be one of the world's foremost coffee experts. 807 00:39:59,090 --> 00:40:00,159 Really? 808 00:40:00,298 --> 00:40:03,174 It's basically just me and this guy named Chuckles in Brazil. 809 00:40:03,382 --> 00:40:06,258 - Sounds like fate. So, what do you say? - Sure. 810 00:40:06,547 --> 00:40:09,662 Great. Just to be on the safe side, you do know this is a date, right? 811 00:40:09,923 --> 00:40:11,878 - Oh, yeah, I got that. - Good. 812 00:40:12,297 --> 00:40:14,206 Have you come up with a name for your place yet? 813 00:40:14,381 --> 00:40:17,894 - Right now the top contender is "Sludge." - Excuse me. 814 00:40:18,130 --> 00:40:20,324 Moving on, my partner likes "Regular Joe." 815 00:40:21,047 --> 00:40:22,320 Then again, his name is Joe. 816 00:40:22,464 --> 00:40:23,897 Oh, fancy that. 817 00:40:24,297 --> 00:40:26,411 So, still won't let go of "The Mud House"? 818 00:40:26,839 --> 00:40:28,714 Afraid not. What else you got? 819 00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:31,757 Well, okay, how about "Black Liquid Hope Sold Here"? 820 00:40:32,339 --> 00:40:34,692 See, now you're making some progress.