1 00:00:01,121 --> 00:00:04,346 - This is sublime. - It was the golden age of television. 2 00:00:04,576 --> 00:00:06,245 The music, the costumes, the sets. 3 00:00:06,257 --> 00:00:08,357 All cylinders were firing on this one, boy! 4 00:00:08,613 --> 00:00:10,918 Who knew that they all had such musical talent? 5 00:00:11,110 --> 00:00:14,142 And such far-out booty-shaking abilities as well. 6 00:00:14,357 --> 00:00:16,468 - Mail, ladies. - Thanks, Eddie. 7 00:00:17,603 --> 00:00:19,828 Did you see that TV Guide had this on their list... 8 00:00:20,018 --> 00:00:21,414 of the worst 50 shows of all time? 9 00:00:21,557 --> 00:00:24,509 - I know! Who are they to judge? - I know, it's on my top 50 best. 10 00:00:24,721 --> 00:00:27,628 Yeah, right after Holmes and Yoyo and Hee Haw Honeys. 11 00:00:27,842 --> 00:00:30,635 Get back here, they're in clown suits and headed for the pool. 12 00:00:30,839 --> 00:00:32,667 - Oh, my God! - Honey, come here. 13 00:00:32,837 --> 00:00:33,875 - It's here. - What's here? 14 00:00:34,002 --> 00:00:36,466 - My application to Harvard. - Oh, my God! 15 00:00:39,454 --> 00:00:41,963 - It's beautiful. - Impressive letter "H." 16 00:00:42,159 --> 00:00:43,715 Yeah, it's so... 17 00:00:44,157 --> 00:00:45,350 Very. 18 00:00:45,489 --> 00:00:47,476 - Can I hold it? - Be careful. 19 00:00:48,070 --> 00:00:51,340 - It's heavy with importance. - I feel dizzy. 20 00:00:51,567 --> 00:00:54,518 Are you sure it's not the sight of Robert Reed in the clown pants? 21 00:00:54,729 --> 00:00:57,761 Let the record show that when my application to Harvard arrived... 22 00:00:57,976 --> 00:00:59,963 we were watching The Brady Bunch Variety Hour. 23 00:01:00,140 --> 00:01:01,968 - Do you lose points for that? - I hope not. 24 00:01:02,138 --> 00:01:04,732 This morning I was reading Dead Souls. It couldn't have come then. 25 00:01:04,927 --> 00:01:06,880 We'll tell people that's what you were doing... 26 00:01:07,049 --> 00:01:09,433 and that I was studying a big globe. They'll never know. 27 00:01:09,630 --> 00:01:12,218 - You can keep a secret? - No, but there's always a first. 28 00:01:12,418 --> 00:01:14,973 Dead Souls and a really big globe. Deal! 29 00:01:15,540 --> 00:01:16,653 Kayaks! 30 00:02:15,391 --> 00:02:16,981 Come on, I wanna get started. 31 00:02:17,139 --> 00:02:19,331 Hold your horses there little Miss Horsey Holder. 32 00:02:19,511 --> 00:02:22,225 They're going to expect a higher level of wit at Harvard. 33 00:02:22,425 --> 00:02:24,809 - Watch that drink! - I'm nowhere near it. 34 00:02:25,006 --> 00:02:28,230 Well, keep it that way. This is an uncontaminated area. 35 00:02:28,461 --> 00:02:30,845 I even cleaned the table using something other than... 36 00:02:31,041 --> 00:02:32,631 the sleeve of my sweater and spit. 37 00:02:32,789 --> 00:02:34,617 I love the image. I'll be careful. 38 00:02:34,787 --> 00:02:36,819 Here we go. First question. 39 00:02:37,576 --> 00:02:39,404 - Oh, my God! - What? 40 00:02:39,573 --> 00:02:42,082 "What were you doing when you received this application... 41 00:02:42,279 --> 00:02:44,992 - "counts for 50% of your eligibility." - Stop. 42 00:02:45,317 --> 00:02:46,430 - I need help. - With what? 43 00:02:46,566 --> 00:02:48,553 She's writing her "Drummer Seeks Rock Band" ad. 44 00:02:48,730 --> 00:02:51,557 It's not reading right to me. Could you guys look it over? 45 00:02:51,768 --> 00:02:55,072 "Drummer with strong beat seeks band into The Accelerators..." 46 00:02:55,307 --> 00:02:57,214 "The Adolescents, The Adverts, Agent Orange..." 47 00:02:57,387 --> 00:02:59,420 "The Angelic Upstarts, The Agnostic Front, Ash." 48 00:02:59,593 --> 00:03:01,387 - You went alphabetically. - It seemed tidy. 49 00:03:01,549 --> 00:03:03,264 - And a little OCD. - A little long. 50 00:03:03,423 --> 00:03:04,455 I can't make cuts. 51 00:03:04,587 --> 00:03:06,187 It's three pages, single-spaced. Make cuts. 52 00:03:06,211 --> 00:03:08,561 This is the cut-down version. Just from the letter "A"... 53 00:03:08,749 --> 00:03:11,974 I excluded AC/DC, The Animals, and A-Ha, footnoted as a guilty pleasure. 54 00:03:12,204 --> 00:03:13,794 If we can't get through it, no one can. 55 00:03:13,953 --> 00:03:16,178 Okay, I'll try to make cuts, but no guarantees. 56 00:03:16,366 --> 00:03:19,001 Okay, "Personal information: State your full name." 57 00:03:19,197 --> 00:03:20,945 - Better not get that one wrong. - I'll try. 58 00:03:21,112 --> 00:03:23,178 - "And nickname, if any." - That would be "Rory." 59 00:03:23,359 --> 00:03:25,395 - Or "Droopy Drawers." - That was never my nickname. 60 00:03:25,564 --> 00:03:27,517 - Wrong, I called you that as a baby. - What? 61 00:03:27,688 --> 00:03:29,993 That's right. You had these little Oshkosh cords. 62 00:03:30,185 --> 00:03:32,978 They were way too big, once they fell down to your knees... 63 00:03:33,181 --> 00:03:35,009 and I said, "Whoa there, droopy drawers." 64 00:03:35,179 --> 00:03:37,768 I'm afraid that if we don't answer everything accurately... 65 00:03:37,968 --> 00:03:40,035 the Harvard police will hit you with an atlas... 66 00:03:40,216 --> 00:03:41,493 and say something mean in Latin. 67 00:03:41,631 --> 00:03:43,187 How would they know you called me that? 68 00:03:43,337 --> 00:03:46,880 Well, we could be at a Harvard event, and I could slip up and say... 69 00:03:47,124 --> 00:03:48,838 "Pass me a lobster puff, Droopy Drawers." 70 00:03:48,997 --> 00:03:50,553 They'll hear me, and that'll be that. 71 00:03:50,704 --> 00:03:53,133 How about you don't drink at any of these Harvard events? 72 00:03:53,326 --> 00:03:55,790 Okay, "Parental information: Mother." 73 00:03:56,489 --> 00:03:58,635 - Breathtaking. - I think they just want your name. 74 00:03:58,820 --> 00:04:01,045 "Father." Ostracized. 75 00:04:02,233 --> 00:04:05,027 - "Personal statement." - The essay, the big kahuna. 76 00:04:05,230 --> 00:04:08,057 "Evaluate a significant experience that's had an impact on you." 77 00:04:08,268 --> 00:04:09,937 How about that time your drawers dropped? 78 00:04:10,099 --> 00:04:11,167 Enough with the drawers. 79 00:04:11,306 --> 00:04:14,179 "Or write about a person who's had a significant influence on you." 80 00:04:14,386 --> 00:04:16,770 - You? - Or one of your authors. Faulkner... 81 00:04:16,967 --> 00:04:19,158 - Or Sylvia Plath? - Might send the wrong message. 82 00:04:19,340 --> 00:04:21,088 The "sticking her head in the oven" thing? 83 00:04:21,254 --> 00:04:25,001 She did make her kids a snack first. Shows a certain maternal instinct. 84 00:04:25,249 --> 00:04:28,235 Okay, I just crunched the numbers and at 2,000 words... 85 00:04:28,455 --> 00:04:31,009 and 25 cents a word, this stupid ad's gonna cost $500! 86 00:04:31,202 --> 00:04:33,666 That's five months of Minwax-ing at my mom's store. 87 00:04:33,865 --> 00:04:35,500 - I give up. - No, don't give up. 88 00:04:35,654 --> 00:04:37,846 Just cut down your influences to the important ones. 89 00:04:38,027 --> 00:04:39,544 - Like David Bowie. - Gotta have Bowie. 90 00:04:39,692 --> 00:04:42,076 But do you have to list every album he recorded... 91 00:04:42,273 --> 00:04:44,544 - plus your personal rating? - Maybe not. 92 00:04:44,728 --> 00:04:46,443 What's with Jackson Browne making the list? 93 00:04:46,602 --> 00:04:49,395 Cool people know he's more than a hippie-dippie folkie... 94 00:04:49,598 --> 00:04:52,664 that he actually wrote some of Nico's best songs and was her lover... 95 00:04:52,886 --> 00:04:54,556 before he bored us with Doctor My Eyes. 96 00:04:54,718 --> 00:04:56,829 That will separate the posers from the non-posers. 97 00:04:57,007 --> 00:04:59,152 - Wax on, wax off. - I hate this. 98 00:04:59,337 --> 00:05:00,813 "What activities interest you?" 99 00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:03,708 - All of them except sports. - I thought you were the lacrosse kid. 100 00:05:03,915 --> 00:05:07,583 Mom, a modicum of seriousness as we do this would be much appreciated. 101 00:05:07,828 --> 00:05:10,292 So circle all of them except sports. 102 00:05:10,492 --> 00:05:11,684 They want a picture. 103 00:05:11,824 --> 00:05:15,173 How about the one of us sticking our heads through the carved-out holes... 104 00:05:15,403 --> 00:05:17,152 of Johnny Bravo and SpongeBob SquarePants? 105 00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,543 There's the seriousness I crave. 106 00:05:20,273 --> 00:05:23,940 I'm going to have to crank the Ramones if I have to make deep cuts! 107 00:05:28,140 --> 00:05:31,171 - We'll move outside. - The outside's contaminated! 108 00:05:36,297 --> 00:05:37,490 Thank you. 109 00:05:37,629 --> 00:05:39,854 Do they let kids drink coffee before school? 110 00:05:40,043 --> 00:05:41,950 Do you think it might lead to harder stuff? 111 00:05:42,124 --> 00:05:44,588 - Lattes, cappuccinos? - Forget I asked. 112 00:05:45,288 --> 00:05:47,876 - What are you doing Saturday? - Just my usual chores. 113 00:05:48,076 --> 00:05:51,187 - Your usual chores, John-Boy? - What else do you call "house jobs"? 114 00:05:51,406 --> 00:05:52,882 I call them "the stuff you avoid..." 115 00:05:53,028 --> 00:05:55,412 "Until the Environmental Protection Agency steps in." 116 00:05:55,609 --> 00:05:57,721 - Why do you ask? - I thought we could see a movie. 117 00:05:57,898 --> 00:05:59,335 - You're not free. - How do you know? 118 00:05:59,438 --> 00:06:01,152 You'll be working on your application. 119 00:06:01,311 --> 00:06:02,458 - No, I'm not. - Really? 120 00:06:02,601 --> 00:06:05,156 It's not due for weeks, and I already picked my essay topic. 121 00:06:05,349 --> 00:06:07,654 - Which is? - Hillary Clinton. 122 00:06:07,845 --> 00:06:09,401 - Sounds perfect. - I know. 123 00:06:09,552 --> 00:06:10,869 She's so smart and tough... 124 00:06:11,009 --> 00:06:13,473 and nobody thought she could win New York, but she did. 125 00:06:13,673 --> 00:06:15,580 She's doing amazing. Have you heard her speak? 126 00:06:15,754 --> 00:06:17,790 Only when you've played me the thousands of hours... 127 00:06:17,835 --> 00:06:18,981 of C-Span footage you taped. 128 00:06:19,125 --> 00:06:22,792 She's a great speaker. Strong and persuasive with a wonderful presence... 129 00:06:23,038 --> 00:06:24,911 even those suits of hers are getting better. 130 00:06:25,077 --> 00:06:26,349 I'd include that in the essay. 131 00:06:26,492 --> 00:06:29,524 Anyhow, now that I have Hillary, all I need is a date for Saturday. 132 00:06:29,739 --> 00:06:31,090 - Suggestions? - You're on. 133 00:06:31,237 --> 00:06:33,951 Great. There's my bus. Sip. 134 00:06:35,941 --> 00:06:37,008 Kiss. 135 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:39,225 - And bye. - Bye. 136 00:06:44,181 --> 00:06:45,737 - Fast runner. - It's the coffee. 137 00:06:45,888 --> 00:06:47,284 - Not your face? - Excuse me? 138 00:06:47,428 --> 00:06:50,936 Sorry, just missed my youth for a second. I'm back. Coffee? 139 00:07:04,742 --> 00:07:07,047 Everyone always says that. This is my speaking voice. 140 00:07:07,239 --> 00:07:10,191 This is its natural volume. Fine! 141 00:07:11,359 --> 00:07:13,392 - Shortsighted morons. - What now, Paris? 142 00:07:13,566 --> 00:07:16,200 We went to all this trouble to set up this stupid seminar... 143 00:07:16,396 --> 00:07:18,032 I say "we," but I did most of the work... 144 00:07:18,102 --> 00:07:19,739 and Mr. Hunter won't let me do it my way. 145 00:07:19,893 --> 00:07:21,005 The panelists are up there. 146 00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:23,571 We sit there and ask questions. What's the problem? 147 00:07:23,763 --> 00:07:25,404 It's boring and predictable and dumb to death. 148 00:07:25,428 --> 00:07:27,461 - I wanted Charlie Rose. - To ask the questions? 149 00:07:27,633 --> 00:07:30,017 His style. I wanted a round table with black backdrops. 150 00:07:30,214 --> 00:07:31,928 The audience wouldn't be able to see us. 151 00:07:32,087 --> 00:07:34,074 I was working with the losers in the AV club... 152 00:07:34,252 --> 00:07:35,841 to project it on a giant video screen. 153 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:39,349 Mr. Hunter said, "This isn't the Beatles at Shea Stadium." 154 00:07:39,579 --> 00:07:42,804 Nice anachronism. Like they had video screens in '63. 155 00:07:43,034 --> 00:07:45,067 His references are as topical as his suits. 156 00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:48,067 Can I have your attention, we can get the seminar started. 157 00:07:48,278 --> 00:07:50,470 I'd like to bring up the organizers of this event... 158 00:07:50,650 --> 00:07:52,762 Paris Gellar and Rory Gilmore. 159 00:07:56,727 --> 00:07:58,476 Thank you, Mr. Hunter. 160 00:07:59,017 --> 00:08:02,366 Everybody, this is a seminar called "The Business of Getting In." 161 00:08:02,595 --> 00:08:05,230 Its goal is to help guide us through the tortuous process... 162 00:08:05,426 --> 00:08:07,935 of applying to and getting into the right college. 163 00:08:08,132 --> 00:08:10,005 My panelists are Jim Romaine... 164 00:08:10,170 --> 00:08:12,157 Admissions Officer at Princeton University... 165 00:08:12,335 --> 00:08:15,162 and Ivy League college consultant, Rose Samuels. 166 00:08:15,373 --> 00:08:17,485 - Welcome, panel. - Yes, welcome. 167 00:08:19,036 --> 00:08:21,068 Now, panel, you're addressing a group of kids... 168 00:08:21,242 --> 00:08:24,194 just beginning the stressful process of applying to college. 169 00:08:24,405 --> 00:08:25,473 Question. 170 00:08:25,612 --> 00:08:29,756 What is the biggest mistake a person can make on his or her application? 171 00:08:30,024 --> 00:08:31,057 Mr. Romaine? 172 00:08:31,189 --> 00:08:34,141 Forgetting to send it in would be the worst mistake. 173 00:08:34,353 --> 00:08:36,737 But perfunctory answers would be high on my list. 174 00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:38,080 Explain. 175 00:08:38,224 --> 00:08:40,335 I'm talking about run-of-the-mill responses... 176 00:08:40,513 --> 00:08:43,578 a lack of originality, particularly in the essay category. 177 00:08:43,801 --> 00:08:46,787 If I read one more piece of prose about Hillary Clinton... 178 00:08:47,005 --> 00:08:50,037 and her profound influence, my head will explode. 179 00:08:50,252 --> 00:08:53,284 I hear that. Sometimes a mistake like that comes from writing... 180 00:08:53,499 --> 00:08:55,565 what one thinks an admission officer wants to read. 181 00:08:55,746 --> 00:08:56,859 Big mistake. 182 00:08:56,994 --> 00:08:59,098 Sometimes it's a lack of original thought. 183 00:08:59,110 --> 00:09:00,264 Just as big a mistake. 184 00:09:00,491 --> 00:09:01,559 Personal anecdote. 185 00:09:01,697 --> 00:09:04,525 When I was 12, and I was writing the first of my trial essays... 186 00:09:04,736 --> 00:09:08,120 in practice for the day I'd write my real essay, I chose Hillary Clinton. 187 00:09:08,357 --> 00:09:12,025 I realized every brain-dead bint in a skirt would be writing about Hillary... 188 00:09:12,269 --> 00:09:13,825 but it was good to clear the pipes. 189 00:09:13,976 --> 00:09:15,333 Now, what are some other mistakes? 190 00:09:15,475 --> 00:09:19,460 Small thing, but if your printing is bad, that says something we don't like. 191 00:09:19,720 --> 00:09:22,944 If your extracurriculars and volunteer activities are too by the book... 192 00:09:23,174 --> 00:09:24,650 that says something we don't like. 193 00:09:24,797 --> 00:09:28,067 Yes, those activities should have a personality behind them... 194 00:09:28,294 --> 00:09:29,645 a focus, a direction. 195 00:09:29,792 --> 00:09:33,096 I've seen applications where students have circled every activity listed. 196 00:09:33,330 --> 00:09:36,634 Again, you're trying too hard here. One can't be interested in everything. 197 00:09:36,868 --> 00:09:39,013 They're the ones that've had college paraphernalia... 198 00:09:39,199 --> 00:09:40,675 on their walls their whole lives. 199 00:09:40,822 --> 00:09:43,887 - Too hungry. It's a little immature. - Interesting. 200 00:09:45,484 --> 00:09:47,914 Rory, do you want to ask a question? 201 00:09:48,439 --> 00:09:49,710 - No. - What? 202 00:09:50,353 --> 00:09:52,544 - No. Thank you. - Okay. 203 00:09:53,475 --> 00:09:56,541 So, how early should a student get an application in? 204 00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:59,147 By the due date. Earlier makes no difference. 205 00:09:59,343 --> 00:10:02,647 It's a myth that there's a benefit to be derived from early admission. 206 00:10:02,881 --> 00:10:05,595 I do think it's important to talk about the interview process. 207 00:10:05,794 --> 00:10:09,018 I believe it's an opportunity to weed out the hyper-intense candidate. 208 00:10:09,416 --> 00:10:10,528 She's meeting you here? 209 00:10:10,664 --> 00:10:13,696 Yeah, she had a thing after school, a rumble or something. 210 00:10:13,910 --> 00:10:16,102 - A rumble? - A bunch of kids meet in an alley... 211 00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:18,554 they pirouette, they pull knives. It's a whole to-do. 212 00:10:18,739 --> 00:10:20,010 So she's meeting you here? 213 00:10:20,154 --> 00:10:21,425 Yes, she's meeting us here. 214 00:10:21,569 --> 00:10:23,556 - Where's Dad? - The magazines. 215 00:10:24,399 --> 00:10:26,625 That was weird and unresponsive. 216 00:10:27,187 --> 00:10:29,617 These are college issues of various magazines. 217 00:10:29,810 --> 00:10:32,035 I've been collecting them for a couple of months now. 218 00:10:32,224 --> 00:10:34,369 Rory's probably seen all those, but thanks, anyway. 219 00:10:34,555 --> 00:10:35,633 - Have you read these? - No. 220 00:10:35,721 --> 00:10:38,945 You should. I've unearthed some shocking statistics. 221 00:10:39,174 --> 00:10:42,160 Do you have any idea how hot the competition is... 222 00:10:42,380 --> 00:10:43,935 to get into a school like Harvard? 223 00:10:44,086 --> 00:10:46,833 It's very hot, it's one of the top schools in the country. 224 00:10:47,041 --> 00:10:50,311 In the world! People from China, Russia, India. 225 00:10:50,538 --> 00:10:52,490 Children from every country apply to Harvard. 226 00:10:52,660 --> 00:10:54,408 There's more competition than ever before. 227 00:10:54,574 --> 00:10:55,970 Really, Mom, I know all this. 228 00:10:56,115 --> 00:10:58,499 With the dot com bust and the job market dwindling... 229 00:10:58,695 --> 00:11:01,079 and the stock market going up and down like a yo-yo... 230 00:11:01,276 --> 00:11:04,421 everyone knows the best chance for success and financial security... 231 00:11:04,647 --> 00:11:07,520 is not just to go to college, but to go to a top college. 232 00:11:07,727 --> 00:11:09,202 Thank you. Appreciate the info. 233 00:11:09,350 --> 00:11:12,462 Every child that applies has the same high grade point average. 234 00:11:12,680 --> 00:11:15,870 They've taken the same AP classes, and all are on the student council. 235 00:11:16,093 --> 00:11:17,410 They're not all that identical. 236 00:11:17,549 --> 00:11:19,218 One admissions officer said that... 237 00:11:19,381 --> 00:11:21,527 he puts a random stack of applications... 238 00:11:21,711 --> 00:11:23,823 in the "yes" pile and the rest in the "no" pile... 239 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:26,033 because he knows it doesn't make any difference. 240 00:11:26,207 --> 00:11:27,797 He doesn't even glance at them. 241 00:11:27,955 --> 00:11:29,351 That does not sound real. 242 00:11:29,495 --> 00:11:31,925 Now it's the in thing for young Hollywood celebrities... 243 00:11:32,116 --> 00:11:33,229 to go to universities. 244 00:11:33,366 --> 00:11:35,353 What do they call themselves? "The brat pack"? 245 00:11:35,529 --> 00:11:36,847 About 100 years ago. 246 00:11:36,986 --> 00:11:39,700 They get into wherever they want based on name recognition. 247 00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:42,455 I was watching TV, and that insipid Kate Hudson... 248 00:11:42,647 --> 00:11:44,317 was talking about going to a university. 249 00:11:44,479 --> 00:11:47,430 If she decides to go to Harvard, she'll get right in over Rory... 250 00:11:47,642 --> 00:11:49,311 who we know is more qualified. 251 00:11:49,473 --> 00:11:51,665 How about a drink? You want one? 'Cause I sure do. 252 00:11:51,845 --> 00:11:54,480 Lorelai, hold on here. What are we going to do about this? 253 00:11:54,675 --> 00:11:57,821 Mom, there is no "we." It's "me." Me and Rory. That's the "we." 254 00:11:58,047 --> 00:12:00,920 I appreciate your concern and your prodigious research... 255 00:12:01,127 --> 00:12:03,761 but it's all gonna be fine. Rory's special. 256 00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:05,467 You know that and I know that... 257 00:12:05,622 --> 00:12:08,291 but those idiots at Harvard may not necessarily know that. 258 00:12:08,494 --> 00:12:11,083 RORY: Hello? LORELAI: We're in here, honey, and hurry! 259 00:12:11,616 --> 00:12:13,649 - Hi, Grandma. - Hello, Rory. You look flushed. 260 00:12:13,821 --> 00:12:15,217 I ran from the bus stop. I'm okay. 261 00:12:15,361 --> 00:12:18,029 I've been trying to call you. Can I talk to you for a second? 262 00:12:18,233 --> 00:12:19,271 - Is something wrong? - No. 263 00:12:19,398 --> 00:12:21,305 I just need talk to Mom about something. 264 00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:23,150 Okay. We'll be back. 265 00:12:23,644 --> 00:12:25,710 - I'm not getting into Harvard. - What? Who says? 266 00:12:25,892 --> 00:12:28,924 I'm completely unprepared, and I have no original thoughts. 267 00:12:29,138 --> 00:12:32,647 Don't blame yourself, it not you. It's those jerks at Harvard. I hate them. 268 00:12:32,884 --> 00:12:34,917 It doesn't matter how qualified you are. 269 00:12:35,090 --> 00:12:37,997 Those lazy-ass admissions officers take applications... 270 00:12:38,211 --> 00:12:40,880 and stick it in the "yes" and "no" piles without glancing at them. 271 00:12:41,083 --> 00:12:43,079 It won't matter because my Hillary Clinton essay... 272 00:12:43,206 --> 00:12:45,113 will be just like every other girl's essay... 273 00:12:45,287 --> 00:12:47,796 because apparently, that's all we can think of. I'm a hack. 274 00:12:47,993 --> 00:12:50,706 Is it true everyone has the same GPA? How is that possible? 275 00:12:50,906 --> 00:12:53,017 Because we all take the same classes... 276 00:12:53,195 --> 00:12:55,659 and we all give the same perfunctory responses... 277 00:12:55,859 --> 00:12:57,494 and I'm interested in too many things. 278 00:12:57,648 --> 00:13:00,203 I'll have to limit them. I'll circle travel. 279 00:13:00,396 --> 00:13:02,269 From now on, that's what I'm interested in. 280 00:13:02,435 --> 00:13:03,548 No, don't do that... 281 00:13:03,684 --> 00:13:06,795 because all those people coming from China and India... 282 00:13:07,014 --> 00:13:09,727 are nuts for traveling. That's why they're traveling here. 283 00:13:09,927 --> 00:13:11,755 And jobs are dropping and dot com bombing... 284 00:13:11,925 --> 00:13:14,116 and something's acting like a yo-yo. It's not good. 285 00:13:14,297 --> 00:13:17,170 And over my dead body is Kate Hudson getting your spot. 286 00:13:17,377 --> 00:13:19,489 - Mom, you're freaking out! - Yes, I'm freaking out! 287 00:13:19,666 --> 00:13:22,130 You can't freak out. I'm freaking out! 288 00:13:22,330 --> 00:13:23,328 [Cell phone ringing] 289 00:13:23,953 --> 00:13:27,144 What did Romaine mean about weeding out the hyper-intense? 290 00:13:27,366 --> 00:13:29,433 He stopped just short of calling me by name. 291 00:13:29,613 --> 00:13:30,646 Not now. 292 00:13:30,779 --> 00:13:32,732 I tried to throw the questioning over to you... 293 00:13:32,902 --> 00:13:35,207 because I was about to heave, and you left me hanging. 294 00:13:35,399 --> 00:13:36,830 - Talk to you tomorrow. - Wait! 295 00:13:36,981 --> 00:13:38,412 Okay, we gotta calm down here. 296 00:13:38,562 --> 00:13:40,435 - So, set an example. - I'm human, too. 297 00:13:40,601 --> 00:13:42,077 My forehead is burning up. 298 00:13:42,225 --> 00:13:43,781 My heart is beating so fast. 299 00:13:43,931 --> 00:13:46,203 - Okay, let's take a breath. - Okay. 300 00:13:48,219 --> 00:13:50,330 - This freaking out is not good. - It sucks! 301 00:13:50,508 --> 00:13:52,733 If others can do this, we can do this! 302 00:13:52,922 --> 00:13:54,954 - I'm not so sure anymore. - That is unacceptable. 303 00:13:55,127 --> 00:13:56,955 - I don't want to accept it. - Then we won't! 304 00:13:57,125 --> 00:13:58,681 - What do we do? - I don't know! 305 00:13:58,831 --> 00:14:01,783 - We definitely need some perspective. - I think we need therapy. 306 00:14:01,995 --> 00:14:04,788 And booze for those of us over 21. 307 00:14:05,158 --> 00:14:07,871 Okay, are we calming? Are we less freaked? 308 00:14:08,446 --> 00:14:10,002 - I'm totally freaked out. - Hide it! 309 00:14:10,153 --> 00:14:11,947 - I can't hide it. - Then prepare yourself... 310 00:14:12,108 --> 00:14:15,379 for an evening of magazine recitations by Emily "DJ Doommeister" Gilmore. 311 00:14:15,605 --> 00:14:17,001 I'll hide it. 312 00:14:22,972 --> 00:14:24,368 [Phone ringing] 313 00:14:28,175 --> 00:14:29,288 Hello? 314 00:14:29,590 --> 00:14:32,576 No. Lane should be here any minute. Is this about the ad? 315 00:14:32,794 --> 00:14:35,587 Give me your number, and she'll call you back. 316 00:14:36,291 --> 00:14:38,119 Okay, then, what's the number of the dude... 317 00:14:38,289 --> 00:14:40,162 whose couch you're sleeping on? 318 00:14:40,328 --> 00:14:43,677 Dude doesn't have a phone? Try back later, dude. Thanks. 319 00:14:44,491 --> 00:14:46,716 Rory, are you up? If not, get up! 320 00:14:46,905 --> 00:14:49,255 And where's Lane? She's supposed to be fielding these. 321 00:14:49,443 --> 00:14:52,112 Hello? No, she's not. May I take a message? 322 00:14:52,523 --> 00:14:54,634 Wait a minute. Here she is. Hold on. 323 00:14:54,812 --> 00:14:56,163 - Sorry. - It's okay. 324 00:14:56,311 --> 00:14:57,707 This is Lane. 325 00:14:57,851 --> 00:14:58,849 - Hey. - Hey. 326 00:14:59,349 --> 00:15:01,620 - What's up? - I didn't sleep so well. 327 00:15:01,804 --> 00:15:04,598 - Poor thing. - I'm fine. I'm just a little bummed. 328 00:15:04,801 --> 00:15:08,071 No, wait, progressive rock is a really passé style now... 329 00:15:08,298 --> 00:15:11,284 but I listed it as an influence because it was a progenitor... 330 00:15:11,502 --> 00:15:13,137 of great things that came afterwards. 331 00:15:13,292 --> 00:15:16,563 I contend that you could draw a straight line from Yes to Jethro Tull... 332 00:15:16,788 --> 00:15:18,536 to The Jam to Nirvana. Bing, bam, boom. 333 00:15:20,076 --> 00:15:21,632 Who are The Jam? 334 00:15:22,032 --> 00:15:23,622 That's disturbing. 335 00:15:24,197 --> 00:15:26,263 Maybe instead of going to college... 336 00:15:26,445 --> 00:15:28,432 you should drop out, and I could quit my job... 337 00:15:28,608 --> 00:15:30,641 and we could form an all-girl band with Lane... 338 00:15:30,815 --> 00:15:32,041 you know, like Bananarama? 339 00:15:32,188 --> 00:15:34,175 We could call it Tangerinarama... 340 00:15:34,352 --> 00:15:38,020 or Banana-fana-fo-fana-Rama or something. 341 00:15:38,723 --> 00:15:40,517 I'm just kidding. You gotta go to college. 342 00:15:40,679 --> 00:15:44,188 I'm up for anything at this point. I gotta go. I'll see you later. 343 00:15:44,425 --> 00:15:46,219 - Feel better, okay? - I will. 344 00:15:46,381 --> 00:15:49,016 You are not telling me that you did not know... 345 00:15:49,211 --> 00:15:51,641 that Kim Deal was in the Pixies before the Breeders! 346 00:15:51,834 --> 00:15:53,707 I refuse to accept that. 347 00:15:54,206 --> 00:15:56,636 These kids have no sense of history! 348 00:15:58,826 --> 00:16:00,574 - Tom, what's up? - Nothing much. 349 00:16:00,740 --> 00:16:03,045 Get me a ham on rye, mustard, no mayo. 350 00:16:03,238 --> 00:16:04,748 - You got it. - Hi. 351 00:16:05,111 --> 00:16:06,257 - You got money? - Yes, sir. 352 00:16:06,401 --> 00:16:07,798 - What can I get you? - Let's see... 353 00:16:07,899 --> 00:16:10,045 - how about a nice cold egg cream? - A what cream? 354 00:16:10,230 --> 00:16:12,183 - An egg cream. A cold one. - What is that? 355 00:16:12,353 --> 00:16:15,226 - Like milk and soda water with flavoring. - You're asking me? 356 00:16:15,432 --> 00:16:16,465 - Cold. - I heard that. 357 00:16:16,598 --> 00:16:19,822 - We used to get them at Coney Island. - Go to Coney Island, kid. 358 00:16:20,053 --> 00:16:21,324 Sir, can I get something? 359 00:16:21,468 --> 00:16:22,859 - You got money? What do you want? - Yeah. 360 00:16:22,883 --> 00:16:24,790 - A black cow. - Now, come on! 361 00:16:24,964 --> 00:16:27,678 - It's just root beer and ice cream. - I can do that. 362 00:16:27,877 --> 00:16:30,909 If the ice cream's made the old-fashioned way, on the premises. 363 00:16:31,123 --> 00:16:33,951 - Now, wait a second. - Luke, can you whip me up something? 364 00:16:34,162 --> 00:16:35,797 - What, Kirk? - A chocolate phosphate. 365 00:16:35,952 --> 00:16:38,064 What the hell is this? Why do you want a phosphate? 366 00:16:38,242 --> 00:16:40,353 Because nothing says refreshment like a phosphate. 367 00:16:40,530 --> 00:16:42,835 - Is Taylor behind this? - I'm not at liberty to say. 368 00:16:43,028 --> 00:16:46,093 Then you tell me, and if you lie, you'll go to hell. 369 00:16:46,316 --> 00:16:48,824 - He didn't say you'd get mad. - Come on! 370 00:16:56,429 --> 00:16:58,019 - What is this? - That's my question. 371 00:16:58,178 --> 00:17:00,323 - What's going on? - I have no idea. 372 00:17:00,508 --> 00:17:02,892 They're asking for phosphates, egg creams, black cows... 373 00:17:03,089 --> 00:17:05,552 and they already gave you up, so tell me what's going on. 374 00:17:05,753 --> 00:17:06,821 - Who finked him? - Him. 375 00:17:06,959 --> 00:17:08,106 - Snitch. - You did. 376 00:17:08,250 --> 00:17:09,849 It's not the kid's fault. What is this about? 377 00:17:09,873 --> 00:17:12,303 You are so closed-minded to new things, Luke... 378 00:17:12,496 --> 00:17:15,005 that I decided to make an admittedly desperate attempt... 379 00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:18,948 to convince you of the need for something that I think is a terrific idea. 380 00:17:19,197 --> 00:17:20,343 Which is? 381 00:17:20,487 --> 00:17:23,394 An old-fashioned, turn-of-the-century soda shop. 382 00:17:24,566 --> 00:17:27,756 It's just the kind of wholesome hang today's teens need... 383 00:17:27,978 --> 00:17:29,136 to keep them off the streets. 384 00:17:29,269 --> 00:17:31,414 And our streets are so wild and out of control. 385 00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:34,427 If you ask me, yes, and I have proof. 386 00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:36,867 What are these? 387 00:17:37,010 --> 00:17:38,680 Surveillance photos of town goings-on... 388 00:17:38,842 --> 00:17:41,476 the dark side of Stars Hollow, not a pretty picture. 389 00:17:41,672 --> 00:17:42,869 These are kids on skateboards. 390 00:17:43,004 --> 00:17:46,388 Slaloming around pop bottles right down the middle of the street. 391 00:17:46,624 --> 00:17:49,338 If we don't quick furnish these skateboarding Z-boys... 392 00:17:49,538 --> 00:17:50,765 with a moral distraction... 393 00:17:50,911 --> 00:17:53,295 they're going to turn Stars Hollow into Dogtown! 394 00:17:53,492 --> 00:17:55,479 - This is the space next to the diner. - I know. 395 00:17:55,656 --> 00:17:57,563 - I own the space next to the diner. - I know. 396 00:17:57,738 --> 00:17:59,771 You want to open up the soda shop there? 397 00:17:59,943 --> 00:18:03,055 - It's the only one that's appropriate. - Taylor, no! 398 00:18:03,273 --> 00:18:05,737 And every day, from now on till the end of my life... 399 00:18:05,937 --> 00:18:08,082 I am going to come in here and say, "Taylor, no." 400 00:18:08,268 --> 00:18:11,141 When I die, I'm gonna have them freeze me next to Ted Williams... 401 00:18:11,348 --> 00:18:14,221 and when they find the cure to what I died of and unfreeze me... 402 00:18:14,428 --> 00:18:18,095 my first words are gonna be, "How's Ted?" Followed closely by, "Taylor, no!" 403 00:18:18,340 --> 00:18:20,531 - But the space is empty. - Not for long! 404 00:18:20,713 --> 00:18:23,779 - What are your plans for it? - A skateboard and pop-bottle shop. 405 00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:25,873 - That's not funny. - With in-house experts... 406 00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:27,597 to teach the craft of street slaloming. 407 00:18:27,663 --> 00:18:30,615 - Still not funny. - I'm not in a very funny mood! 408 00:18:31,076 --> 00:18:34,346 Are you taking applications for jobs at your skateboard and bottle shop? 409 00:18:34,572 --> 00:18:36,048 I'm interviewing people today. 410 00:18:36,196 --> 00:18:38,307 Shall I go home and change or will casual suffice? 411 00:18:38,485 --> 00:18:40,560 - I like the "going home" part. - I don't understand. 412 00:18:43,437 --> 00:18:44,435 - Hey. - Hey. 413 00:18:44,812 --> 00:18:48,002 Guess who I actually had a very productive conversation with today? 414 00:18:48,224 --> 00:18:49,973 - Headmaster Charleston. - You're kidding. 415 00:18:50,138 --> 00:18:53,647 No. I think we came up with a solution to our application anxiety. 416 00:18:53,885 --> 00:18:55,111 - Wanna hear it? - I guess. 417 00:18:55,258 --> 00:18:58,005 We spent the first 10 minutes on him bugging me to volunteer... 418 00:18:58,213 --> 00:19:01,165 for more stuff at school, or in lieu of that to make a donation... 419 00:19:01,377 --> 00:19:03,841 and then another couple of minutes of me convincing him... 420 00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:05,757 that what sounded like me going, "Hah! "... 421 00:19:05,871 --> 00:19:07,302 was really me clearing my throat... 422 00:19:07,453 --> 00:19:10,723 but after that, we had a very pleasant productive conversation. 423 00:19:10,950 --> 00:19:12,744 He suggested setting up a meeting... 424 00:19:12,906 --> 00:19:15,131 with a Harvard graduate, like a dinner or something. 425 00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:17,034 He gave me the number of someone he knows. 426 00:19:17,193 --> 00:19:18,987 - An alumni dinner? - Yes, exactly. 427 00:19:19,149 --> 00:19:21,783 - Do they do that? - According to him, it's done all the time. 428 00:19:21,979 --> 00:19:24,284 It would be an opportunity to talk with someone... 429 00:19:24,476 --> 00:19:26,668 who's been through it all and did it successfully. 430 00:19:26,849 --> 00:19:29,517 You can ask questions, get some perspective. It seems perfect. 431 00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:30,788 Sounds a little weird. 432 00:19:30,928 --> 00:19:34,118 A little, but I'll go with you, and what's the worst that can happen? 433 00:19:34,341 --> 00:19:35,737 We're bored and we blow a meal... 434 00:19:35,881 --> 00:19:38,389 but if this person can help, then that's a good thing. 435 00:19:38,586 --> 00:19:40,619 I do have some questions. A lot of questions. 436 00:19:40,791 --> 00:19:42,586 - Let's call him. - Now? 437 00:19:42,748 --> 00:19:45,383 Yes, there's no time like the present. Come on. 438 00:19:45,578 --> 00:19:48,610 His name is Darren Springsteen of Westport, Connecticut... 439 00:19:48,824 --> 00:19:50,811 Harvard class of '74. 440 00:19:50,989 --> 00:19:54,861 - Ask if he has a brother named Bruce. - I'm not gonna ask him that. 441 00:19:55,817 --> 00:19:57,213 It's ringing. 442 00:19:58,231 --> 00:20:00,456 - Why'd you hang up? - I'm not good at these things! 443 00:20:00,645 --> 00:20:01,871 - Did he answer? - Yes. 444 00:20:02,019 --> 00:20:04,926 Yes! Rory, that's a really terrible first impression! 445 00:20:05,140 --> 00:20:06,138 [Telephone ringing] 446 00:20:06,264 --> 00:20:07,456 - Him? - Maybe. 447 00:20:07,596 --> 00:20:08,992 He star-69'd us? 448 00:20:09,136 --> 00:20:11,849 The Harvard people can afford all the latest technology. 449 00:20:12,049 --> 00:20:13,047 Answer. 450 00:20:13,174 --> 00:20:14,897 [On answering machine] You've reached Suffragette City. 451 00:20:14,921 --> 00:20:16,957 If you're calling about Lane Kim's ad, we're not in. 452 00:20:17,085 --> 00:20:20,548 But don't commit Rock 'n' Roll Suicide, just crank a message at the feedback. 453 00:20:20,790 --> 00:20:21,191 Jeez. 454 00:20:21,203 --> 00:20:23,855 If he is related to Bruce, he could dig it. 455 00:20:24,078 --> 00:20:26,223 My name's Dave Rygalski. I'm calling about the ad. 456 00:20:26,409 --> 00:20:28,600 I left my number before. Call when you get a chance. 457 00:20:28,781 --> 00:20:30,768 GIRL: Where's my... DAVE: Relax, I'm coming. 458 00:20:31,028 --> 00:20:33,220 - Let's try this again. - Can we just do this later? 459 00:20:33,401 --> 00:20:35,308 No, let's get it done now. 460 00:20:35,982 --> 00:20:37,571 - It's ringing. - Let's do it later. 461 00:20:37,729 --> 00:20:39,921 - It's ringing! - I'm gonna say the wrong thing... 462 00:20:40,102 --> 00:20:43,611 or have the wrong tone. I'm not in good first-impression mode right now. 463 00:20:43,848 --> 00:20:46,074 - Mom! - Hello. 464 00:20:46,636 --> 00:20:50,508 Hello, this is Rory Gilmore. I believe you were expecting my call. 465 00:20:52,672 --> 00:20:54,783 This is such a wonderful opportunity for me. 466 00:20:54,961 --> 00:20:56,914 Whatever's good for you would be great for me. 467 00:20:57,084 --> 00:20:59,718 - Not so breathy. - That's how chickens talk! 468 00:20:59,914 --> 00:21:03,695 Lunch? Yes. Let me just check my organizer. 469 00:21:04,118 --> 00:21:08,104 Perfect. My mother will be there, too. She's terrific. 470 00:21:08,488 --> 00:21:11,599 All right, I'll see you this weekend. Bye. 471 00:21:12,275 --> 00:21:14,228 - You're no Danny Gans. - I never claimed to be. 472 00:21:14,398 --> 00:21:17,384 He'll be expecting Chilton High School senior Trixie McBimbo. 473 00:21:17,603 --> 00:21:19,237 And her mother, Bambi McBimbo. 474 00:21:19,393 --> 00:21:21,777 - I guess it can't hurt, right? - It can only help. 475 00:21:21,973 --> 00:21:24,165 Look, if it's a total bust, we'll grab a pole... 476 00:21:24,345 --> 00:21:26,253 and Trixie and Bambi will take it on the road. 477 00:21:26,426 --> 00:21:28,254 That's something to put on your application. 478 00:21:28,424 --> 00:21:30,536 - Thanks, Mom. - Bye, Trixie. 479 00:21:34,751 --> 00:21:36,942 LORELAI: So alumna is a girl graduate. RORY: Right. 480 00:21:37,123 --> 00:21:39,155 LORELAI: And alumnus is a man. RORY: Singular. 481 00:21:39,329 --> 00:21:40,362 So an unmarried man? 482 00:21:40,495 --> 00:21:43,083 No, not, not married. He can be married or single. 483 00:21:43,283 --> 00:21:47,030 All "alumnus" means is one man, singular as opposed to many men, plural. 484 00:21:47,278 --> 00:21:49,833 - And plural is alumni. - And that can be girls and guys. 485 00:21:50,026 --> 00:21:52,058 - Kinky. - Not kinky, just what it is. 486 00:21:52,231 --> 00:21:53,662 You're no fun when you're nervous. 487 00:21:53,813 --> 00:21:56,163 Because you and I usually have so much fun with Latin. 488 00:21:56,352 --> 00:21:58,181 What do we call this guy? Alumnus Darren... 489 00:21:58,350 --> 00:22:01,575 like you'd say Farmer John or The Butcher Lazar Wolf? 490 00:22:02,929 --> 00:22:04,041 Hello. 491 00:22:04,177 --> 00:22:06,812 - I'm Lorelai Gilmore. - Darren Springsteen. Nice to meet you. 492 00:22:07,007 --> 00:22:08,801 And this must be the reason we're all here. 493 00:22:08,963 --> 00:22:10,791 Yes. Hello. I hope we're not putting you out. 494 00:22:10,961 --> 00:22:14,470 Putting us out? Today you are the Springsteen family's raison d'être. 495 00:22:14,707 --> 00:22:15,854 Come in. 496 00:22:16,580 --> 00:22:18,295 - Was your drive long? - Not too. 497 00:22:18,453 --> 00:22:19,849 Stars Hollow is charming. 498 00:22:19,993 --> 00:22:22,740 The last time we drove through there, there was a pumpkin patch. 499 00:22:22,948 --> 00:22:24,065 - Sounds like us. - In March. 500 00:22:24,197 --> 00:22:25,991 The year the pumpkins arrived late. 501 00:22:26,153 --> 00:22:28,946 Sounds like a Dr. Seuss book. You came bearing gifts? 502 00:22:29,150 --> 00:22:32,374 What? This. No, this is not a gift. 503 00:22:32,605 --> 00:22:35,034 These are my records, grades, SATs. 504 00:22:35,226 --> 00:22:38,053 Rory in a bag. You add water, and her brilliance springs out. 505 00:22:38,265 --> 00:22:40,252 Why don't I glance at this some other time? 506 00:22:40,429 --> 00:22:43,176 Today, why don't we just talk and get to know one another? 507 00:22:43,384 --> 00:22:45,609 - Sounds good. - You're a very nice alumni. 508 00:22:45,798 --> 00:22:46,945 Thanks. 509 00:22:47,255 --> 00:22:48,969 - That's the plural. - Rats! 510 00:22:49,128 --> 00:22:51,717 Lorelai, Rory, say hello to Marie, my wife. 511 00:22:51,916 --> 00:22:54,062 Hello. So good to have you here. 512 00:22:54,247 --> 00:22:55,315 - Hi. - Thank you. 513 00:22:55,455 --> 00:22:57,442 How about drinks, iced tea, water? 514 00:22:57,618 --> 00:22:59,446 - Iced tea's good. - Same here. 515 00:22:59,616 --> 00:23:01,330 - You like art, Rory? - Very much. 516 00:23:01,489 --> 00:23:04,918 Modern painting is my passion. I've got a Hockney, a Kline. 517 00:23:05,152 --> 00:23:06,787 What I don't have is a Diebenkorn. 518 00:23:06,942 --> 00:23:09,087 So please don't ask, "Where's the Diebenkorn?" 519 00:23:09,273 --> 00:23:12,463 - You warned me just in time. - I only recently got into sculpture. 520 00:23:12,686 --> 00:23:15,513 My latest acquisition, it's a Zoltan Kemeny... 521 00:23:15,723 --> 00:23:18,516 very provocative. Don't you just love its audacity? 522 00:23:18,720 --> 00:23:20,116 Yes, it's very audacious. 523 00:23:20,261 --> 00:23:22,406 What are some of your other interests? 524 00:23:22,591 --> 00:23:24,624 Pull up a comfy chair there, Darren... 525 00:23:24,797 --> 00:23:26,989 because they are widespread and extensive. 526 00:23:27,169 --> 00:23:29,224 I read a lot. I'm into the Russians lately. 527 00:23:29,236 --> 00:23:30,155 Tolstoy? Turgenev? 528 00:23:30,375 --> 00:23:32,328 Gogol's my thing right now. Dead Souls. 529 00:23:32,497 --> 00:23:34,530 - One of my favorites. - You were reading that... 530 00:23:34,704 --> 00:23:37,054 when we got your Harvard application, weren't you? 531 00:23:37,242 --> 00:23:38,514 Yes, I was. 532 00:23:38,657 --> 00:23:41,689 I saw that Harvard logo on the envelope, and I said: 533 00:23:41,903 --> 00:23:44,617 "Rory, get your nose out of your Gogol and get over here!" 534 00:23:44,817 --> 00:23:47,690 We have a TV somewhere, but it's more of a funny little table... 535 00:23:47,897 --> 00:23:50,122 to put a cup of chai tea on, you know what I mean? 536 00:23:50,311 --> 00:23:52,456 I'm afraid I don't, I watch way too many sports... 537 00:23:52,642 --> 00:23:53,999 and I go to all the Harvard games. 538 00:23:54,140 --> 00:23:55,281 How about you? Do you like sports? 539 00:23:55,305 --> 00:23:56,338 - No. - Yes. 540 00:23:56,471 --> 00:23:58,538 That is, we follow certain things. 541 00:23:58,885 --> 00:24:02,189 We enjoy various aspects of certain sporting endeavors. 542 00:24:02,547 --> 00:24:04,057 But it wouldn't be the kind... 543 00:24:04,213 --> 00:24:06,279 that you could ask any follow-up questions on. 544 00:24:06,460 --> 00:24:08,050 - It's a general interest. - Got it. 545 00:24:08,208 --> 00:24:11,160 It's pretty much a waste of time, but it's how I waste my time. 546 00:24:11,372 --> 00:24:12,518 I collect memorabilia, too. 547 00:24:12,662 --> 00:24:15,409 I've got each year's Harvard team pennant going back to 1927. 548 00:24:15,617 --> 00:24:19,523 - Lots of displayed Harvard paraphernalia. - It's all over the walls at the rec room. 549 00:24:19,779 --> 00:24:22,163 - See? Lots of paraphernalia. - Watch the ribs, there. 550 00:24:22,360 --> 00:24:25,947 Here are the kids. Jack, Jennifer, this is Lorelai and Rory. 551 00:24:26,189 --> 00:24:27,626 - Hi, there. - It's nice to meet you. 552 00:24:27,687 --> 00:24:28,719 - Likewise. - Hi. 553 00:24:28,852 --> 00:24:32,997 Jack's premed at Princeton, and Jennifer's bound for Harvard, like you, Rory. 554 00:24:34,554 --> 00:24:36,224 - We should talk! - Sure. 555 00:24:36,385 --> 00:24:38,180 - If not today, another day, okay? - Okay. 556 00:24:38,342 --> 00:24:41,533 - Do you wanna pick a time now or later? - Later's fine. 557 00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:44,310 - I'll make a note in my Palm Pilot. - Cool. 558 00:24:44,501 --> 00:24:46,171 - Here are your teas. - Thank you. 559 00:24:46,334 --> 00:24:48,605 Darren, we should really get the chicken going. 560 00:24:48,788 --> 00:24:51,014 Right, you're getting my famous chicken today. 561 00:24:51,203 --> 00:24:52,350 I hope you like chicken. 562 00:24:52,493 --> 00:24:53,730 - Love it. - I'll be right back. 563 00:24:53,867 --> 00:24:57,568 There's some of my Harvard yearbooks, peruse them, if you like. 564 00:24:57,821 --> 00:25:00,489 - We should go clean up, Jen. - Definitely. 565 00:25:00,693 --> 00:25:02,600 I will see you in a jiff. 566 00:25:04,980 --> 00:25:06,047 - Ew. - What? 567 00:25:06,187 --> 00:25:08,094 Did they just leave to take a shower together? 568 00:25:08,268 --> 00:25:11,333 - Gross. - They bounced in together, out together. 569 00:25:11,556 --> 00:25:13,589 - New topic? - Can't take gritty reality? 570 00:25:13,761 --> 00:25:14,829 Or slanderous postulating. 571 00:25:14,969 --> 00:25:17,080 How is it they came from tennis and aren't sweating? 572 00:25:17,258 --> 00:25:19,165 Maybe when you're that white, you don't sweat. 573 00:25:19,338 --> 00:25:21,405 - Darren's nice. - He's very nice. 574 00:25:21,587 --> 00:25:23,301 Do you think I'm making a good impression? 575 00:25:23,459 --> 00:25:24,890 Great impression! He loves you. 576 00:25:25,041 --> 00:25:27,312 Especially when he found out you share his love... 577 00:25:27,496 --> 00:25:29,529 of various aspects of certain sporting endeavors. 578 00:25:29,703 --> 00:25:32,212 You started it. We could have just told the truth. 579 00:25:32,408 --> 00:25:35,712 - I was trying to humanize us. - With our funny looking chai tea table. 580 00:25:35,946 --> 00:25:38,500 - Very humanizing. - Zoltan Kemeny. 581 00:25:38,693 --> 00:25:39,726 What? 582 00:25:39,859 --> 00:25:42,084 That artist's name, it sounds like robot language. 583 00:25:42,272 --> 00:25:43,340 Zoltan Kemeny. 584 00:25:43,479 --> 00:25:45,432 - Don't say it again. - Zoltan Kemeny. 585 00:25:45,601 --> 00:25:47,271 - Stop, don't. - Zoltan. 586 00:25:47,683 --> 00:25:49,590 I'm sorry, I'm interrupting the fun. 587 00:25:49,764 --> 00:25:52,352 You're not, we were just laughing at the funny haircuts. 588 00:25:52,553 --> 00:25:55,937 - I know. Aren't they a blast? - Just a sea of goofy sideburns. 589 00:25:56,173 --> 00:25:58,637 Lunch will be ready in just a few minutes. 590 00:25:59,503 --> 00:26:00,730 - Zoltan. - Stop! 591 00:26:02,209 --> 00:26:05,320 - What a beautiful table. - Yes, you didn't have to do this. 592 00:26:05,539 --> 00:26:07,571 Rory, honestly, it's our pleasure. 593 00:26:07,744 --> 00:26:09,492 - Perfect timing, kids. - Excellent. 594 00:26:09,659 --> 00:26:12,168 - Nice-looking lunch, Mom. - Color-coordinated. 595 00:26:12,364 --> 00:26:14,317 Guests of honor, why don't you sit over there? 596 00:26:14,487 --> 00:26:15,804 Thank you. 597 00:26:15,944 --> 00:26:19,010 Family pictures. You have another girl, don't you? 598 00:26:19,232 --> 00:26:22,344 - Yes, we do. - Where is she? What does she do? 599 00:26:23,935 --> 00:26:25,331 She's not here. 600 00:26:25,475 --> 00:26:28,665 - I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked. - No, it's all right. That's Carol. 601 00:26:28,888 --> 00:26:32,794 - She's a year ahead of Rory. She's... - She's following her own path. 602 00:26:33,300 --> 00:26:34,446 Right. 603 00:26:34,715 --> 00:26:36,747 - Carol's doing her own thing. - Okay. 604 00:26:36,921 --> 00:26:38,477 Let's eat, everybody. 605 00:26:38,627 --> 00:26:40,933 Honored guests, please choose from the chicken first. 606 00:26:41,124 --> 00:26:42,237 Thank you very much. 607 00:26:42,374 --> 00:26:45,405 You two are gonna have to fight over the breast as you always do. 608 00:26:45,620 --> 00:26:47,573 So, Lorelai, what's your alma mater? 609 00:26:47,742 --> 00:26:51,444 I was too preoccupied to go to college, with weighing a couple hundred pounds... 610 00:26:51,696 --> 00:26:53,921 and having feet twice my normal size and all. 611 00:26:54,110 --> 00:26:55,178 I see. 612 00:26:55,318 --> 00:26:58,224 But she took night classes and graduated last year. 613 00:26:58,439 --> 00:27:01,982 - She has an A.A. degree in business. - That's wonderful. 614 00:27:02,226 --> 00:27:05,371 In fact, it's refreshing. Might even be to Rory's benefit. 615 00:27:05,640 --> 00:27:08,104 Good things didn't come to your family in one fell swoop. 616 00:27:08,303 --> 00:27:09,813 - You struggled for it. - That's true. 617 00:27:09,968 --> 00:27:12,318 "One fell swoop." Interesting phrase. 618 00:27:12,507 --> 00:27:13,653 - Very. - Origin? 619 00:27:13,797 --> 00:27:16,510 It was coined in Macbeth and derives from Middle English. 620 00:27:16,711 --> 00:27:18,936 Very good, son. You know your Shakespeare, do you? 621 00:27:19,125 --> 00:27:21,998 - More than most. - In which play does Falstaff appear? 622 00:27:22,204 --> 00:27:23,351 That would be plays. 623 00:27:23,495 --> 00:27:26,208 Henry IV, Part One and Two and The Merry Wives of Windsor. 624 00:27:26,408 --> 00:27:28,361 Son, that was a different Falstaff in Henry V. 625 00:27:28,531 --> 00:27:29,564 Shoot! 626 00:27:29,697 --> 00:27:32,047 This is a little tradition with us, quizzes at meals. 627 00:27:32,235 --> 00:27:33,711 It keeps the Springsteens sharp. 628 00:27:33,859 --> 00:27:36,811 - Very Kennedy-esque. - We love the Kennedys. 629 00:27:37,022 --> 00:27:38,090 As do we all. 630 00:27:38,229 --> 00:27:41,294 Now, the person questioned can challenge me with a follow-up... 631 00:27:41,517 --> 00:27:43,106 if he gets his question right. 632 00:27:43,265 --> 00:27:46,455 - Gets pretty competitive. - If pistols are drawn, we're ducking. 633 00:27:46,678 --> 00:27:48,711 - Jack, which Polish composer... - Chopin. 634 00:27:48,884 --> 00:27:51,711 Patience. Became prime minister of his country? 635 00:27:51,922 --> 00:27:53,750 - Paderewski? - That's right. 636 00:27:53,920 --> 00:27:55,827 But your impetuousness cost you a follow-up. 637 00:27:56,001 --> 00:28:00,304 Jennifer, can you give me the three subclasses of the Mesozoic era? 638 00:28:00,580 --> 00:28:03,453 - Triassic, Jurassic, and Cretaceous. - Good. 639 00:28:03,659 --> 00:28:05,885 Follow-up. What preceded the Mesozoic era? 640 00:28:06,073 --> 00:28:07,583 - Paleozoic. - He's good. 641 00:28:07,738 --> 00:28:09,089 It's hard to stump Darren. 642 00:28:09,237 --> 00:28:12,700 - Impossible, he's brilliant. - Open question. 643 00:28:13,024 --> 00:28:15,454 What mythological figure has the head of a man... 644 00:28:15,646 --> 00:28:18,598 the body of a lion, and the tail of a scorpion? 645 00:28:19,684 --> 00:28:21,080 Here's a hint... 646 00:28:21,224 --> 00:28:24,175 it's also the title of a novel by Robertson Davies. 647 00:28:24,387 --> 00:28:26,851 - Manticore. - Very good, Rory! 648 00:28:27,050 --> 00:28:30,082 - Yes, very good, Rory. - Yes, very good, Rory. 649 00:28:30,547 --> 00:28:32,659 - More water, Lorelai? - Please, thank you. 650 00:28:32,836 --> 00:28:35,505 Do you know which French city, famous for its water... 651 00:28:35,707 --> 00:28:38,455 was the capital of collaborationist France? 652 00:28:40,286 --> 00:28:41,512 Me? 653 00:28:42,243 --> 00:28:45,388 Evian? Perrier? Le Crystal Geyser? 654 00:28:45,656 --> 00:28:48,767 - Jennifer, do you wanna help Lorelai out? - Vichy. 655 00:28:48,985 --> 00:28:52,368 - That's correct. - That's right. Vichy water. I knew that. 656 00:28:52,606 --> 00:28:56,273 What about the year of Germany's victory in the Franco-Prussian war? 657 00:28:56,768 --> 00:28:58,596 - Me again? - If you wish. 658 00:28:58,849 --> 00:29:02,835 I don't know that one. I do know Istanbul is Constantinople. 659 00:29:03,136 --> 00:29:06,406 "So if you've got a date in Constantinople..." 660 00:29:06,633 --> 00:29:08,585 "She'll be waiting in Istanbul." 661 00:29:09,338 --> 00:29:10,451 That's true. 662 00:29:10,586 --> 00:29:14,015 You know, I'm sorry to interrupt, but I'd like to wash my hands. 663 00:29:14,249 --> 00:29:15,758 Our fault. We rushed you in here. 664 00:29:15,914 --> 00:29:19,138 Downstairs is being remodeled. You have to use upstairs. End of the hall. 665 00:29:19,369 --> 00:29:20,516 - Thank you. - Hurry back. 666 00:29:20,659 --> 00:29:21,772 I will. 667 00:29:23,447 --> 00:29:25,242 So that painting there, wow... 668 00:29:25,403 --> 00:29:27,867 the colors are so great. I can't stop staring at it. 669 00:29:28,068 --> 00:29:30,702 - It's just beautiful. - It is. It's by a student of Matisse. 670 00:29:30,898 --> 00:29:33,203 I think he caught the master's colors wonderfully. 671 00:29:33,395 --> 00:29:35,189 Matisse. Love him. 672 00:29:35,351 --> 00:29:37,543 I think only a charlatan wouldn't. 673 00:29:37,723 --> 00:29:41,186 Anyone know the artistic movement Matisse championed... 674 00:29:41,428 --> 00:29:43,142 and referred to as "the wild beast?" 675 00:29:43,301 --> 00:29:45,049 - Fauvism. - Correct. 676 00:29:45,215 --> 00:29:47,679 - Follow-up. - And then we'll go round robin. 677 00:29:56,162 --> 00:29:58,149 - Coming through. - Sorry. 678 00:29:58,950 --> 00:30:00,620 I just heard music. 679 00:30:01,655 --> 00:30:03,290 - Cool room. - Tom Waits. 680 00:30:03,446 --> 00:30:05,001 - What? - The music. 681 00:30:05,152 --> 00:30:07,707 - I thought so. I love him. - I worship him. 682 00:30:07,940 --> 00:30:09,689 - I even mildly stalked him once. - Really? 683 00:30:09,855 --> 00:30:11,967 Last year, I heard he was staying in this hotel... 684 00:30:12,144 --> 00:30:15,256 I went there every day, sat in the lobby, waiting for him to walk by. 685 00:30:15,473 --> 00:30:17,824 - Did you see him? - No, never came down. 686 00:30:18,013 --> 00:30:19,523 - Hand me that brush? - Here. 687 00:30:19,678 --> 00:30:21,949 Stupid manager made me cover for Fiona today. 688 00:30:22,133 --> 00:30:24,961 - That girl is a major pie crust. Ears? - What? 689 00:30:25,172 --> 00:30:28,760 - On the chair. What time is it? - 3:00. 690 00:30:29,126 --> 00:30:31,635 I'm totally late for my next job, bye-bye. 691 00:30:31,831 --> 00:30:34,215 Grandma had to take another trip to the emergency room? 692 00:30:34,412 --> 00:30:35,888 - Are they on straight? - I think so. 693 00:30:36,034 --> 00:30:37,227 Good. Who are you? 694 00:30:37,367 --> 00:30:40,318 - I'm sorry. I'm Rory Gilmore. - You're one of the Harvard-bound? 695 00:30:40,530 --> 00:30:43,675 - Yeah, at least, I hope so. - Trust me, you are. 696 00:30:43,901 --> 00:30:46,853 You've got that really good, straight, shiny, Harvard hair. 697 00:30:47,064 --> 00:30:50,573 - Zip me up? - I'm sorry, are you Carol? 698 00:30:50,810 --> 00:30:53,842 - Yeah, why? - I don't know. I just didn't expect... 699 00:30:54,057 --> 00:30:55,169 - What? - You. 700 00:30:55,347 --> 00:30:56,743 - Why? - I don't know. 701 00:30:56,887 --> 00:30:58,521 Your parents just made it sound like... 702 00:30:58,677 --> 00:31:02,503 Like I was in the Chelsea with a needle sticking out of my arm screaming, "Sid!" 703 00:31:02,755 --> 00:31:05,424 - Kind of. - To them, this is pretty close. 704 00:31:06,377 --> 00:31:09,522 Can I ask you what exactly you are dressing up like this for? 705 00:31:09,748 --> 00:31:12,132 - Maureen Tanner's fourth birthday party. - You're kidding. 706 00:31:12,328 --> 00:31:14,521 This is my fifth birthday party this week. 707 00:31:14,533 --> 00:31:16,790 Great tips, all cash, and, of course, cake. 708 00:31:17,073 --> 00:31:21,184 So you're a waitress and a birthday bunny and you go to school. That's amazing. 709 00:31:21,443 --> 00:31:22,761 I don't go to school. 710 00:31:22,900 --> 00:31:24,773 Sorry. I just assumed. I mean, your family... 711 00:31:24,940 --> 00:31:27,007 My brother and sister are on that conveyor belt. 712 00:31:27,187 --> 00:31:30,139 I escaped somewhere around the 11th grade, thank God. 713 00:31:30,974 --> 00:31:33,007 But no offense. That's just me. 714 00:31:33,181 --> 00:31:35,928 If you like being on the conveyor belt, then good for you. 715 00:31:36,136 --> 00:31:38,565 - I'm not on the conveyor belt. - Okay. 716 00:31:39,466 --> 00:31:41,135 I'm not. I want this. 717 00:31:41,297 --> 00:31:43,931 I've dreamt of going to Harvard since I was a little girl. 718 00:31:44,127 --> 00:31:47,714 A lot of 4-year-olds dream of that. It comes right after meeting Harry Potter. 719 00:31:47,956 --> 00:31:50,908 I'm not gonna justify myself to someone with a tail. 720 00:31:51,119 --> 00:31:53,674 You're right. I'm sorry. It's just that around here... 721 00:31:53,866 --> 00:31:55,773 the Harvard brainwashing starts in the womb. 722 00:31:55,947 --> 00:31:59,535 If you were to tell either of my siblings that there was another life choice... 723 00:31:59,777 --> 00:32:01,367 I think their khakis would wrinkle. 724 00:32:01,524 --> 00:32:02,842 - Maybe they really want it. - No. 725 00:32:02,981 --> 00:32:05,253 My parents want it, and they wanna please my parents. 726 00:32:05,437 --> 00:32:08,230 - Have you seen a carrot? - Don't you wanna please your parents? 727 00:32:08,434 --> 00:32:10,739 Yeah, but not at the expense of finding myself. 728 00:32:10,931 --> 00:32:14,201 - Or your carrot. - You gotta have your carrot. 729 00:32:15,343 --> 00:32:16,899 Tell me something, Harvard Hair... 730 00:32:17,050 --> 00:32:18,764 how bad do you wanna please your parents? 731 00:32:18,922 --> 00:32:21,306 My mom, and really bad, but it's not hard to please her. 732 00:32:21,503 --> 00:32:24,409 She's okay with anything I do. As long as I'm happy, she's good. 733 00:32:24,625 --> 00:32:26,339 - You sure? - I'm very sure. 734 00:32:26,497 --> 00:32:29,006 - Then you're lucky. - Yeah, I am lucky. 735 00:32:29,286 --> 00:32:31,636 Quick, what are the three major Hindu deities? 736 00:32:31,825 --> 00:32:35,129 I've missed four questions. One more, and I don't think I get dessert. 737 00:32:35,363 --> 00:32:38,156 - Brahma, Shiva, and Vishnu. - Hi, other daughter. 738 00:32:38,568 --> 00:32:40,918 And I shouldn't do a gesundheit joke when I say "Vishnu"? 739 00:32:41,107 --> 00:32:42,503 - Good thinking. - Okay, bye. 740 00:32:42,646 --> 00:32:44,918 Wait, I'll go with you. I'm glad to have met you. 741 00:32:45,102 --> 00:32:47,611 - Same here. Good luck with Harvard. - Thanks. 742 00:32:51,887 --> 00:32:54,794 - What's that for? - For not putting me on the conveyor belt. 743 00:32:55,008 --> 00:32:57,960 - Yes, that was very big of me. - You don't know. 744 00:33:01,709 --> 00:33:04,536 Thank you so much for answering all my dumb questions. 745 00:33:04,747 --> 00:33:07,540 You asked no dumb questions, and I hope my answers sufficed. 746 00:33:07,744 --> 00:33:10,049 - Definitely. Bye. - Au revoir. 747 00:33:10,242 --> 00:33:12,796 Thank you so much. It did a world of good for her. 748 00:33:12,989 --> 00:33:15,504 - She's a very impressive young lady. - I wholeheartedly concur. 749 00:33:15,527 --> 00:33:17,117 - You molded her well. - No, I didn't. 750 00:33:17,276 --> 00:33:19,740 - Rory popped out that way. - You're being modest. 751 00:33:19,939 --> 00:33:22,403 - You don't know me, do you? - So long. 752 00:33:23,394 --> 00:33:25,188 - What did he say? - That you're godlike. 753 00:33:25,350 --> 00:33:26,418 Is that all? 754 00:33:26,557 --> 00:33:30,066 And his brother Bruce Springsteen would be happy to play at our next party. 755 00:33:30,303 --> 00:33:33,334 - That would be swell of Bruce. - I figured your graduation party. 756 00:33:33,550 --> 00:33:35,026 I'll be very popular. 757 00:33:35,548 --> 00:33:37,853 TAYLOR: All in favor, say "aye." MEMBERS: Aye. 758 00:33:38,044 --> 00:33:40,428 Let the record show that the funds have been approved... 759 00:33:40,625 --> 00:33:43,293 to close the town bank account that holds the town funds... 760 00:33:43,497 --> 00:33:46,165 in order to open a new town funds bank account... 761 00:33:46,369 --> 00:33:48,833 at a different banking institution. 762 00:33:49,032 --> 00:33:52,178 Young ladies, in anticipation of your tardiness... 763 00:33:52,404 --> 00:33:54,709 we saved two seats for you right there in the back. 764 00:33:54,901 --> 00:33:57,206 Thanks for thinking of us, Taylor. 765 00:33:58,231 --> 00:34:01,024 Okay, raise your hand if you bathed in cologne. 766 00:34:01,228 --> 00:34:03,419 In the interest of getting home some time tonight... 767 00:34:03,600 --> 00:34:05,711 I'd like to bring up the final point of business... 768 00:34:05,889 --> 00:34:08,160 and that is a certain citizen's desire... 769 00:34:08,345 --> 00:34:11,729 to open an old-fashioned soda shop in town. 770 00:34:11,965 --> 00:34:13,838 - Whoa. - Who's the guy? 771 00:34:14,005 --> 00:34:16,752 What other putz would want to open an old-fashioned soda shop? 772 00:34:16,960 --> 00:34:19,753 - Dispense with the Yiddish. - This is not a town matter. 773 00:34:19,957 --> 00:34:23,419 This is a private matter between you and me which was settled when I said no. 774 00:34:23,661 --> 00:34:28,168 This is a town matter because when this town is in need of a particular business... 775 00:34:28,448 --> 00:34:30,481 to provide necessary services... 776 00:34:30,654 --> 00:34:32,800 it's up to the town to band together and lure it. 777 00:34:32,984 --> 00:34:35,210 How does a soda shop count as a necessary business? 778 00:34:35,398 --> 00:34:38,112 Allow me to show you something that will make you wonder... 779 00:34:38,312 --> 00:34:40,299 how we ever lived without it. 780 00:34:40,643 --> 00:34:42,233 Kirk, if you will. 781 00:34:43,514 --> 00:34:46,705 I told you to get something decorative to cover it. 782 00:34:46,927 --> 00:34:49,277 My mom wouldn't let me use one of her nice tablecloths... 783 00:34:49,467 --> 00:34:52,578 - so I grabbed a sheet from my hamper. - Take it off. 784 00:34:54,211 --> 00:34:55,687 LUKE: What's that, a toy? 785 00:34:55,834 --> 00:34:57,469 It's awfully cute! 786 00:34:57,625 --> 00:35:00,532 That is a professionally manufactured diorama... 787 00:35:00,746 --> 00:35:02,256 of the proposed business. 788 00:35:02,411 --> 00:35:05,396 - There's little people and everything. - They look so real. 789 00:35:05,616 --> 00:35:09,726 - It's me, holding a tiny zucchini! - Look at the horse-drawn carriage. 790 00:35:09,986 --> 00:35:14,335 My thought was to park it out front with the name of the business painted on. 791 00:35:14,606 --> 00:35:17,990 - It's very 1800s. - The horse is taller than the front door! 792 00:35:18,227 --> 00:35:20,452 - Way taller. - What are you up to, Taylor? 793 00:35:20,640 --> 00:35:23,626 - Are you breeding giant horses? - It's slightly out of proportion. 794 00:35:23,846 --> 00:35:27,547 Slightly? That little guy could walk under the horse without ducking. 795 00:35:27,800 --> 00:35:30,751 You're missing the big picture here, townsfolk! 796 00:35:30,963 --> 00:35:33,756 Now, this wonderful business belongs in Stars Hollow... 797 00:35:33,960 --> 00:35:36,105 whether Luke rents the space willingly or not. 798 00:35:36,291 --> 00:35:37,801 How would I not rent it willingly? 799 00:35:37,955 --> 00:35:40,260 I'm talking about eminent domain, my friend. 800 00:35:40,452 --> 00:35:42,200 Check the town's bylaws. 801 00:35:42,367 --> 00:35:45,399 If a three-fourths majority finds it necessary to use a space... 802 00:35:45,613 --> 00:35:48,520 for a specific function, the landowner must concede. 803 00:35:48,735 --> 00:35:50,608 That's for turning houses into hospitals... 804 00:35:50,774 --> 00:35:52,761 during a national emergency like the civil war. 805 00:35:52,939 --> 00:35:55,403 You wanna turn this place into a war hospital? Be my guest. 806 00:35:55,602 --> 00:35:59,633 Some would attest that the succor that my soda shop is going to offer... 807 00:35:59,889 --> 00:36:02,558 is on the same level as the comfort of a hospital. 808 00:36:02,761 --> 00:36:04,748 - You're gonna need a hospital. - Hit him. 809 00:36:04,926 --> 00:36:06,243 - Which one? - Either one. 810 00:36:06,383 --> 00:36:09,607 Come on, this shop is based on the original soda shop... 811 00:36:09,837 --> 00:36:12,029 that was in town 80 years ago! 812 00:36:12,210 --> 00:36:14,594 Don't you see? You are preventing the town... 813 00:36:14,790 --> 00:36:17,617 From moving backwards. Who here wants to do that? 814 00:36:20,159 --> 00:36:22,112 - We like ice cream. - Come on. 815 00:36:22,323 --> 00:36:24,595 A nice burger from Luke's and an ice cream soda. Yum! 816 00:36:24,779 --> 00:36:26,528 - You want that thing? - With a cherry. 817 00:36:26,693 --> 00:36:29,043 The striped awning and the giant horse? 818 00:36:31,772 --> 00:36:33,168 Be ready to pay through the nose. 819 00:36:33,311 --> 00:36:37,137 We'll talk terms. We have our soda shop, everybody. 820 00:36:37,391 --> 00:36:38,424 Yay! 821 00:36:39,471 --> 00:36:40,743 Meeting dismissed. 822 00:36:40,886 --> 00:36:43,793 Is it too soon to talk about management opportunities? 823 00:36:44,008 --> 00:36:46,517 You get to be Taylor's landlord. That's kind of cool. 824 00:36:46,713 --> 00:36:48,780 Thanks for your lack of help. 825 00:36:49,127 --> 00:36:50,240 Grump. 826 00:36:54,206 --> 00:36:57,907 - So, how was lunch with Harvard guy? - Great. He answered all my questions. 827 00:36:58,159 --> 00:37:00,623 Makes killer chicken, he sticks a lemon up its butt. 828 00:37:00,823 --> 00:37:02,730 He gave me great tips on how to write my essay. 829 00:37:02,904 --> 00:37:05,459 - We're very impressed with him. - He passes the test. 830 00:37:05,651 --> 00:37:07,320 - Excuse me, Lane? - That's me. 831 00:37:07,483 --> 00:37:09,197 Okay, great, I'm Dave Rygalski. 832 00:37:09,356 --> 00:37:11,661 - Right. Hi. You're a guitarist. - Yeah. 833 00:37:11,853 --> 00:37:14,680 - How did you know I was me? - The Dead Kennedy's shirt was a tip-off. 834 00:37:14,891 --> 00:37:16,561 Good thinking. Isn't it a drag... 835 00:37:16,722 --> 00:37:18,638 that Jello Biafra isn't singing for them anymore? 836 00:37:18,803 --> 00:37:20,915 Now their front man is that kid from TV. 837 00:37:21,092 --> 00:37:23,125 What's next? Urkel joining the Wu-Tang Clan? 838 00:37:23,299 --> 00:37:25,206 Malcolm in the Middle in the Butthole Surfers. 839 00:37:25,379 --> 00:37:27,295 - Some things are sacred. - I'm with you on that. 840 00:37:27,419 --> 00:37:30,008 - So what's your band like? - We do a lot of cool covers. 841 00:37:30,207 --> 00:37:32,194 The Clash, The Kinks, et cetera. 842 00:37:32,372 --> 00:37:35,357 Statistically, it's like 38 of the 43 bands you listed. 843 00:37:35,577 --> 00:37:36,610 Nice percentage. 844 00:37:36,743 --> 00:37:39,048 I could play a song we demoed using a drum machine. 845 00:37:39,239 --> 00:37:40,307 Great. 846 00:37:40,447 --> 00:37:42,241 - What's all this? - This is a headphone amp. 847 00:37:42,403 --> 00:37:44,594 It boosts the volume and makes clarity off the hook. 848 00:37:44,775 --> 00:37:46,409 And these are Grado 125s... 849 00:37:46,565 --> 00:37:49,755 which is just really killer, killer portable sound. 850 00:37:49,978 --> 00:37:53,679 - I'm sort of an audio geek. Sorry. - Don't apologize. I love you. 851 00:37:53,932 --> 00:37:57,440 For that, for being that way. I love it. I'm like that, too. 852 00:37:57,678 --> 00:37:59,869 Do you wanna go to the bench and have a listen? 853 00:38:00,050 --> 00:38:01,367 - Yeah. - Okay. 854 00:38:02,589 --> 00:38:06,052 - I think a love song's in their future. - With lots of lyrics about snogging. 855 00:38:06,294 --> 00:38:07,486 About what? 856 00:38:08,999 --> 00:38:10,316 You missed everything. 857 00:38:10,455 --> 00:38:12,090 - That's snogging. - Got it. 858 00:38:12,245 --> 00:38:15,118 - Bye. - So, any fireworks? 859 00:38:15,325 --> 00:38:18,595 There was a classic Luke-Taylor dispute, but it was resolved... 860 00:38:18,821 --> 00:38:21,047 and will result in ice cream floats and 20-foot horses. 861 00:38:21,235 --> 00:38:22,950 Good deal. And what about your lunch? 862 00:38:23,108 --> 00:38:26,254 It was great. I feel much better about things. 863 00:38:26,688 --> 00:38:28,641 The application's not freaking me out anymore. 864 00:38:28,811 --> 00:38:30,128 You look un-freaked. 865 00:38:30,267 --> 00:38:32,104 Nothing can stop me now. It's full steam ahead. 866 00:38:32,265 --> 00:38:33,333 That's great. 867 00:38:33,472 --> 00:38:35,308 - Can I ask you something? - Of course you can. 868 00:38:35,470 --> 00:38:38,183 - What happens when you leave? - When I leave, when? 869 00:38:38,383 --> 00:38:41,097 When you leave for Harvard. Do we break up? 870 00:38:41,588 --> 00:38:45,460 - That was blunt and out of nowhere. - It seems we should be blunt right now. 871 00:38:45,708 --> 00:38:49,852 - No, we don't break up. Do you want that? - No, but how will we see each other? 872 00:38:50,121 --> 00:38:52,585 Easy, weekends, that's what they were invented for. 873 00:38:52,784 --> 00:38:54,930 You'll come home, do homework all weekend, then leave. 874 00:38:55,115 --> 00:38:58,987 I can do my homework during the week or on the train coming home to see you... 875 00:38:59,236 --> 00:39:01,666 who I will spend my weekends with not doing homework. 876 00:39:01,857 --> 00:39:05,003 Plus, we can talk during the week on the phone constantly. 877 00:39:05,229 --> 00:39:07,613 - Trust me, it'll feel like I never left. - Yeah? 878 00:39:07,810 --> 00:39:09,604 Christian Amanpour spends half her life... 879 00:39:09,766 --> 00:39:11,877 standing in foxholes in third world countries... 880 00:39:12,055 --> 00:39:15,041 and she has a husband and a kid and she was on C-Span last week... 881 00:39:15,259 --> 00:39:16,372 getting some award. 882 00:39:16,509 --> 00:39:18,972 If she and her husband can make it work, we can. 883 00:39:19,172 --> 00:39:21,761 - So we'll have access to the CNN jet? - No. 884 00:39:22,211 --> 00:39:25,595 - Or you can go to college in Boston. - I'm going to junior college. 885 00:39:25,831 --> 00:39:27,307 Boston has junior colleges. 886 00:39:27,455 --> 00:39:29,885 - But not dorm rooms. - You can rent an apartment. 887 00:39:30,077 --> 00:39:32,064 With the money I get when I win the lottery? 888 00:39:32,241 --> 00:39:34,466 I think access to the CNN jet is more likely. 889 00:39:34,655 --> 00:39:37,005 - Why are you being like this, so... - Realistic? 890 00:39:37,194 --> 00:39:39,703 - Come on, be serious. - I am. 891 00:39:40,939 --> 00:39:41,937 I am. 892 00:39:43,811 --> 00:39:45,446 That's too serious. 893 00:39:46,267 --> 00:39:48,617 Yeah, you know, just forget it. 894 00:39:50,679 --> 00:39:52,825 Come on, we were gonna go to Luke's, right? 895 00:39:53,010 --> 00:39:55,281 - Yeah. - Let's go to Luke's. 896 00:39:56,964 --> 00:40:00,473 - It's great. It really is. - Cool. I'll talk to the guys. 897 00:40:00,710 --> 00:40:04,696 - We'll get together and play next week. - Sure! I've got to get home. 898 00:40:04,997 --> 00:40:08,187 - All right, it was good meeting you, Lane. - Same here. 899 00:40:10,366 --> 00:40:13,318 - "Trust God." Is that a band? - No, my life. 900 00:40:13,696 --> 00:40:18,158 - Come on, you do not like modern art. - Then, I was mistaken. I guess I don't. 901 00:40:18,441 --> 00:40:21,314 I'm a mindless android, I have no opinions. 902 00:40:21,562 --> 00:40:23,118 What kind do you like? 903 00:40:23,311 --> 00:40:25,661 The kind that looks like someone hemorrhaged on a canvas? 904 00:40:25,849 --> 00:40:27,201 Yes, I love hemorrhaging. 905 00:40:27,347 --> 00:40:30,174 Or sculpture that looks like it was dropped, then glued back together? 906 00:40:30,386 --> 00:40:31,464 The real love of my life... 907 00:40:31,552 --> 00:40:34,935 is being mercilessly teased by the two of you for stating an opinion. 908 00:40:35,172 --> 00:40:37,727 - We're sorry. - Yeah, we're sorry. Kisses! 909 00:40:37,919 --> 00:40:39,066 In public, no less. 910 00:40:39,209 --> 00:40:41,321 Where's Rory? We need all the girls kissing you. 911 00:40:41,499 --> 00:40:44,530 - What are you gonna do with Rory's room? - Her room? When? 912 00:40:44,745 --> 00:40:46,812 When she's gone. Are you doing anything with it? 913 00:40:46,993 --> 00:40:48,265 I haven't thought about it. 914 00:40:48,408 --> 00:40:50,157 Let me know. We could work something out. 915 00:40:50,322 --> 00:40:51,390 You want her room? 916 00:40:51,530 --> 00:40:53,278 For your burgeoning modern art collection? 917 00:40:53,444 --> 00:40:54,954 I'm talking about my tools. 918 00:40:55,109 --> 00:40:57,301 - Your tools, yeah. - What tools? 919 00:40:57,481 --> 00:41:00,751 I have a collection of antique farming tools that my dad passed down to me. 920 00:41:00,978 --> 00:41:03,089 Pre-Revolutionary war. They're kind of valuable. 921 00:41:03,267 --> 00:41:06,299 And I've got no place for them. I've been looking for the right space. 922 00:41:06,513 --> 00:41:08,148 - In Rory's room? - It's perfect. 923 00:41:08,303 --> 00:41:10,766 - But she's got all her stuff in it. - Not for long. 924 00:41:10,967 --> 00:41:13,953 - Yeah, right, not for long. - Just think about it. 925 00:41:14,421 --> 00:41:15,817 Yeah, I will. 926 00:41:15,962 --> 00:41:16,959 I will. 927 00:41:23,744 --> 00:41:24,777 [Phone ringing] 928 00:41:24,910 --> 00:41:29,020 LORELAI: No, not another band phone call. RORY: You never gave Lane a cut-off time. 929 00:41:29,280 --> 00:41:30,312 Let the machine get it. 930 00:41:30,445 --> 00:41:33,272 I cannot talk to another 17-year-old whose every other word is "uh." 931 00:41:33,484 --> 00:41:34,835 - Not even a word. - Exactly. 932 00:41:34,982 --> 00:41:37,580 [On answering machine] Hello, Gilmores, this is Darren Springsteen. 933 00:41:37,604 --> 00:41:40,590 I just wanted to tell you that I have gone over Rory's records... 934 00:41:40,810 --> 00:41:42,638 and no shock, they're perfect. 935 00:41:42,807 --> 00:41:45,634 Rory, you are tailor-made for Harvard. They're lucky to have you. 936 00:41:45,845 --> 00:41:48,558 As far as I'm concerned, you should pack your bags. 937 00:41:48,759 --> 00:41:52,506 I'm gonna tell all this to the people in admissions and I'll call your headmaster. 938 00:41:52,755 --> 00:41:55,468 So, take care. We'll talk again. Bye-bye. 939 00:41:55,709 --> 00:41:57,821 - That's fantastic, honey. - Yeah? 940 00:41:57,999 --> 00:42:00,428 - You're in. - Not officially. 941 00:42:00,746 --> 00:42:03,334 - He said, "Pack your bags." - Yeah. Cool. 942 00:42:04,866 --> 00:42:08,012 So what are you up to today? You have newspaper stuff to do, right? 943 00:42:08,237 --> 00:42:11,383 A ton, and you were going to catch up with some stuff at the inn? 944 00:42:11,609 --> 00:42:15,356 - Payroll. A lot of check signing to do. - Are people waiting for their checks? 945 00:42:15,605 --> 00:42:17,160 - Kind of. - Right. 946 00:42:18,101 --> 00:42:21,372 You know, the newspaper stuff can wait till Monday. 947 00:42:21,598 --> 00:42:23,426 Really? I could sign the checks tomorrow. 948 00:42:23,596 --> 00:42:24,743 - You sure? - Absolutely. 949 00:42:24,886 --> 00:42:27,078 - What do you want to do? - Don't know, what about you? 950 00:42:27,258 --> 00:42:30,370 - I don't know, let's just hang. - That sounds great. 951 00:42:31,046 --> 00:42:33,033 LUKE: You had to have ordered that sign weeks ago. 952 00:42:33,210 --> 00:42:35,923 LUKE: You were that sure I'd cave in. TAYLOR: You did, didn't you? 953 00:42:36,124 --> 00:42:38,349 - The right's too high. - When did it become "Taylor's"? 954 00:42:38,538 --> 00:42:42,080 It said "Stars Hollow" on the model, and I don't like the extra "P" and "E"... 955 00:42:42,326 --> 00:42:44,154 - at the end of "shop." Get rid of it. - No. 956 00:42:44,324 --> 00:42:47,628 - I'm your landlord, Taylor. - And as a tenant, I have rights. 957 00:42:47,944 --> 00:42:50,578 Talk to my lawyer if you disagree.