- Where is this place? - Not too far.
You've been saying that for miles.
- My feet are sore. - When did you become older than me?
Tell me what this new breakfast place is, and I'll be quiet.
It's an amazing new mystery place I found. That's all I'm telling you.
Is it in this town or the next?
- We don't patronize the next town. - Since when?
Didn't they feed lead to our jumping frog or something?
Right after they stoned the woman who won the lottery.
See, so the boycott's legit.
- Wait. Stop. - Look, it's Michael Landon.
You guys walk fast. I've been chasing you for the past two blocks.
We were being followed.
I told you I wasn't being paranoid.
Now you'll believe me when I say the furniture moved itself.
- Where're you going? - Mystery breakfast.
- Out of town? - Remember the definition of mystery?
I was wondering if it's okay to practice on your pots and pans again.
It's not like they have any other use.
I've almost nailed Ramble On.
I have to stop hitting my face with the sticks when I pull back.
John Bonham had that same problem.
- Key is in the turtle. - Enjoy your mystery breakfast.
Come on. It's not much farther.
We're not heading toward any businesses of any kind.
What?
- We have arrived. - Arrived where?
You are without shame.
Sookie, you do not have to do this.
What do you mean? Feeding my girls, making them happy. I love doing this.
Yeah, so feel the love and pass the salt.
- It makes me feel guilty. - Eating can help drown that.
Yeah, eat. I'm gonna eat.
Can the help sit at the table, too?
As long as they don't sing folk songs or tell bawdy stories.
What's with Narcoleptic Nate over there?
[Moaning]
He's not much of a morning person.
Now say, "I can't believe I ate the whole thing."
It takes him about an hour to become Jackson.
- Hey, I had a good idea for the wedding. - Cool.
Instead of wrapped Jordan almonds things at every place setting...
- what if we wrap up a few Aspirin? - Aspirin?
For the morning-after hangovers.
- That's funny. - 'Cause Jordan almonds are so done.
Jackson, what do you think? Aspirin over almonds?
[Jackson groaning]
- Can we take that as a yes? - No.
Everything eventually registers. He'll chime in on this in a couple of days.
- Days? - Days.
Hey, is Jackson in the house? Let me hear you say...
- A new toy. - Shameless.
- How's it going? - I hate these books. Hate them.
No.
See that? They're trying to escape. They hate me, too.
Your books don't hate you.
Rory, my brain is full. It has reached capacity.
It's Shea Stadium when the Beatles played.
It's cramped, girls are screaming, and George is fighting with Ringo.
- You have a very active head. - I cannot ingest any more information.
- Take a break. - I don't have time.
Close your eyes, clear your head.
Clearing my head just means that...
all the knowledge I have painstakingly stuffed in there will leak out.
In order to make room for stuff, I lose stuff. It's a very vicious circle.
I'll make some coffee.
- I hate finals. - Nobody likes finals.
Thank God I'm graduating and it's the last time I cram like this.
My pursuit of higher education has led me...
to an interesting discovery about myself. You wanna hear it?
- Sure. - I despise academics.
Learning, knowledge, it's all worthless. I have no idea what you see in it.
Learning is fun.
Plus, for me, there's that I'm a minor, so it's mandatory thing.
That's what kills me. This is self-inflicted. I'm a masochist.
I might as well be carrying a switch and periodically lacerating myself with it.
That diploma hanging on the wall is going to make this all worthwhile.
I guess. Unless I turn into John Nash and start drooling on people.
- You're graduating. - I know.
No, you're graduating. There's gonna be a ceremony.
I don't know. It's a community college.
Community colleges have ceremonies.
My college doesn't even have a lawn. They won't necessarily have a ceremony.
- They must. Did you ask? - No.
Well, now that you mention it, I think someone said something about...
some cheesy ceremony for my business class.
- When is it? - I don't know. Next Thursday.
- That's great. You have to do it. - I don't know.
- You have to do it. - Really?
Yes. You've never been a part of an actual graduation ceremony.
I know. That's because my conservative high school...
wouldn't let me be in the ceremony and nurse you at the same time.
- Don't be gross. - You think I should do it?
- You've worked hard. You've earned it. - I guess.
Come on. You know that deep down you really want to do this.
I'll admit I've always wanted to wear one of those gowns.
And the hat?
For the tassel. You know my thing for fringe.
They call out your name, and people clap, and you get your diploma.
Then you do that thing where you move the tassel from one side to the other.
Very symbolic, very dramatic.
- That's it. You're doing it. - If you insist.
- Who do you want to invite? - I don't know. You.
- And? - That's cool with me.
- Sookie and Jackson? - That would be fun.
- And Grandma and Grandpa? - Oh, no.
Come on. It's your graduation. They should be there.
- Forget it. They won't want to be there. - Of course they will.
Rory, I was supposed to graduate from high school, go to Vassar...
marry a Yale man, get myself a proper nickname like Babe or Bunny.
Instead, I got pregnant. I didn't finish high school...
I didn't marry your father, and I ended up in a career...
that apparently Jessica Hahn would think was beneath her.
I humiliated them.
The two proudest people in the world, and I humiliated them.
I spoiled their plans. I took their fine upbringing...
in a world of comfort and opportunity, and I threw it in their faces.
I broke their hearts, and they'll never forgive me.
I guess I can't expect them to.
Maybe you're wrong about how they feel. It was a long time ago.
Rory, I don't want them to go. It'll just hurt them, and me.
- Okay? - Okay.
- You should get back to your studying. - Fine.
- Great. - What?
I've already forgotten everything I read in the last two hours.
- No, you haven't. - Yes, I have.
In fact, I may have forgotten everything I've ever known.
- Child, what be your name? - Study.
LORELAI: Just explain the concept one more time.
DEAN: And be mocked again? No, thank you.
- Come on. - Maybe we're missing something.
You go to a special shooting range.
- A skeet shooting range. - Right.
There's two of you, and the guy with the gun yells, "Pull."
The other guy releases a clay pigeon from a machine into the air...
and you try to shoot it.
- No, I don't think we're missing anything. - I knew it.
- You shoot pigeons? - Clay pigeons.
- When you hit them, does blood come out? - They're clay.
And why do you like to do this?
My dad shot skeet when he was my age, and he wants to pass the tradition down.
What if you accidentally hit a real pigeon?
- Does that count? - That's never happened.
What if a clay pigeon hits a real pigeon? Does that count?
I've only done this once.
If you get really good...
do you move on to other animals, like clay chickens and clay sheep?
We didn't go skeet shooting. I made it all up.
I got to go in here.
- What do you need? - Just general stuff.
- You guys go and be in love. - See you back at the house.
What if you shoot the person who throws the pigeon in the air?
Would that count?
Sorry.
No, I should have signaled or honked. My fault.
- Okay. - Well.
I guess it was inevitable, us running into each other.
- It's a very tiny community. - I guess so.
- How's the diner? - It's still there.
Yes. I knew that. I'm able to empirically, with my eyes...
- Hey, Luke, do you think we could... - I got to get back.
Okay. Right.
Right.
I'll get it.
- Hi, Grandma. - Hello, Rory.
Thanks for seeing me on such short notice.
I'm thrilled to see you on no notice.
So tell me, what's this about? You were so mysterious on the phone.
I wanted to talk to you about something in person.
Well, come in.
Wow.
It's an English tea service.
One of the advantages of our having an English maid.
That, and the fact that she speaks English.
- You didn't have to do this. - But it's teatime, and I wanted to...
Oh, no. Beatrice, I told you to doily-line the plates.
You don't have to doily-line the plates.
- Hello. - We're in the dining room.
- Rory, you're already here. - You're out of breath.
- I ran over from the office. - You didn't have to run.
Your grandmother said you had something to discuss with us.
That certainly justifies a run.
All right, everybody, sit.
Pour the tea, Beatrice.
Actually, Beatrice, could you hold off on...
pouring the tea for just a minute? Thank you very much.
Grandma, Grandpa, I would like to propose an idea to you.
You can go for it or not. It's entirely up to you.
But I would like for you to promise me that you will not get upset.
We won't get upset.
- And you will try to keep an open mind. - All right.
And you will let me finish my presentation completely before you respond.
She's been hanging around you far too much.
Rory, we accept your terms. Please proceed.
Thank you.
First, let me start by saying that Mom doesn't know I'm here.
She'd probably be mad if she knew that I was, but I feel this is important.
As you know, Mom's been going to business school...
at the community college for three years now.
I believe she's mentioned it.
She's doing very well and she's finishing up.
Actually, she's graduating Thursday, and there's going to be a ceremony.
I think it would mean a lot to her if you guys were there.
It may not seem like it would, but it's true.
If it would mean so much to her, why didn't she invite us herself?
'Cause she didn't think you'd want to go.
And I get that, but I think it's a mistake.
I had a school thing once.
I wasn't sure if Mom would want to go, so I didn't invite her.
It was my kindergarten Salute To Vegetables pageant...
and I was Broccoli and I did a tap dance with Beets.
And the entire number, I was just thinking, "Mom's not here."
And it was my fault that she wasn't there.
Well, it was kind of a life lesson for me.
Now, if the thought of going to Mom's graduation...
upsets you, or makes you unhappy, or uncomfortable in any way...
then please don't go.
Because this is an important night for Mom...
and if you go, you should go under the right circumstances.
Those are the tickets. It's Thursday, 7:00 p.m.
It's indoors, so weather's not an issue. You can use them or not.
No hard feelings. Do what you feel is best.
And, if you don't mind, I would really appreciate it...
if you would keep this conversation between the three of us.
That's all I have to say. Thanks very much for your patience.
I believe I have time for a scone before my bus leaves.
Beatrice, the tea, please.
Emily, these look delicious.
So, Richard, how was your day today?
LORELAI: I am feeling so good, sister, because it's over.
[Lorelai sighing in relief]
No more finals, no more studying, no more school. The pressure's off.
Do you know how much pressure I felt? Do you?
All last week, I felt like a giant man and his brother were sitting on my chest.
- A giant man? - And his giant brother.
- Did they have names? - Clem and Clem. Same names.
Which did not reflect well on their mothers' imagination.
- Mother. - Mothers. There were two Clems.
- 'Cause they were brothers. - Yes, so they had mothers.
You're drawing me into your drunken world.
It's not a bad place to be, my friend.
Tank's empty.
- What is this? - What?
This life plan book thing.
A gift for the grads from the happy people at Hartford Community College.
Hey, how many margaritas is too many margaritas?
If you can't remember where the living room is.
I'm still good.
Okay, here's an interesting question for you.
"Have you given any thought to how children will work into your future plans?"
They're not gonna stand in my way, that's for sure.
I plan to have some, of course, but I'm just gonna knock them out...
and have nanny catch them and care for them...
make sure Mick Jagger doesn't come near them...
and then return them to me when they're 21.
What about me?
You are my favorite eldest child. You get to stay by my side.
I feel so privileged.
[Phone ringing]
I'll get it.
Now, if that's Mick Jagger, hang up, and blow that whistle I gave you.
- Hello. - Hi.
- Hello? - Hi.
Is this a bad time?
No. Just hold on a sec.
The music. I'll be right back.
- Hi. - You said that already.
I did. You're right. Sorry.
- So, what's up? - Nothing.
- What about you? - Same.
So, what have you been doing?
Nothing much, just hanging out, in the park mostly.
- Central Park? - Washington Square Park.
It's cooler. It's where David Lee Roth got busted.
Right. I hope he's got it together now.
Sounds like you got a party going on there.
- No, it's just me and my mom. - Right.
Okay, well, I'm gonna go. This is long distance.
Yeah, it is long distance.
So, see you.
Yeah. See you.
[Lorelai groaning softly]
Mom? What's wrong?
I'm experiencing frustration.
At the general state of things in the world or something in particular?
What do you wear to a graduation?
- A cap and gown. - I mean underneath.
Whatever you want. The gown will cover it.
It's complicated. I don't want to overdress...
so I'm sweating if it's hot in the auditorium.
But if I don't have enough on and it's cold, I'll freeze.
It is complicated, especially if you over think it.
I need a helpful comment.
Take light layers. Wear your turquoise-and-tan dress you just got.
It's cool and it will look good without your gown on.
Wear your turquoise sweater over it. It will look great with the dress...
and it'll keep you warm if it's cold in the auditorium.
- You are a fashion genius. - You taught me everything.
- My brain's not working. - You're excited. It's a big day.
What time will you get there?
I have newspaper stuff after school. But no later than 6:00.
- We'll go out to eat after? - Anyplace. It's on me.
You don't have to do that.
You're a graduate. You get to be pampered.
Then I'd like to go to Chateau Jean Georges La Jean Georges in Paris.
I'll look it up in Daggit and book the Concorde. I got to go.
I got to get ready.
Wait, I wanna see my little graduate one more time before the big event.
Do I look like I'm ready to make my way in the world?
If all else fails, you can marry rich.
I love that we always have that option.
What'll you do with your hair?
I got the curling iron warming up.
Mom, the cap. You put it on, it's gonna smoosh the curls down.
- You are a genius. - See you tonight.
Try to seat us next to a celebrity on the Concorde, like Sting or someone.
I'll try.
- I told her, "Look, Missy..." - You called your adviser "Missy?"
It was attitudinal.
I said, "I'm not taking AP Calculus from Henemen. I'm going with Branch."
"Branch is a graduate of MIT, and Henemen went to Berkeley."
"He may have majored in Math, but what did he minor in, bean sprouts?"
I'm telling my adviser all this and I look in her trash can...
and there's this half-eaten banana in there. Nothing else.
I pictured her sitting in this shoebox of an office, eating a banana by herself...
and I almost felt sorry for her.
Then she questioned my judgment about Berkeley, so I eviscerated her.
She was welling up at the end, but she held it in until I was gone.
I have enough faculty recommendations to run for Student Council...
so I don't need her anyway. My locker's this way.
- Are they closed? - They're closed.
- Are you sure? - I'm sure.
Okay, one second, and open.
You made me a tassel-hat cake.
Filled with two pounds of crushed chocolate-covered espresso beans.
- You're evil. - And you're graduating.
- Yes, I am, aren't I? - Here.
I brought the pictures you wanted to see of my high school graduation.
Hand them over, lady.
- Okay, but don't laugh. - I promise.
I was younger then, not as refined.
- You're stoned. - Totally.
- I thought you hated that. - It was peer pressure.
If Gilbert Garcia offered you a toke, you took it or took off.
Gilbert had a snappy slogan.
I was nauseous all day.
Your parents?
For the traditional, parents flanking their graduate child.
- Don't they look proud? - They do. Very proud.
What is that?
It's pictures of Sookie's high school graduation.
What was your high school graduation like?
It was dignified, as most French ceremonies are.
Poetry was read, a string quartet played, a ballerina performed.
Drank Boone's Farm out of a bota bag and knocked a beach ball around?
I don't understand half of what you say.
That's why we work.
[Cell phone ringing]
- Hello. - Hey, Lor, how you doing?
Christopher. I'm good. I'm excited.
You should be. It's a big day. Did you get my present?
- What present? - A basket. You should've gotten it by now.
- Did a basket come for me? - It came. It was heavy.
I felt a twinge, so I dropped it for health reasons.
It's probably still intact.
My cracked staff has just informed me of its arrival.
I'm going to find it.
Wow.
I put it together myself.
- And it's all for me? - All for you.
A $25 savings bond.
That's a long-term investment.
Don't touch it for 30 years, you're looking at $45.
- A youth hostel card. - For the young girl...
who doesn't mind sharing a bathroom with strangers.
"What Color ls Your Parachute? A practical manual for job hunters."
Helping you answer: what you wanna do and where you wanna do it.
A DVD of The Graduate. Got to have that. The Portable Nietzsche.
Light, cheery reading.
An application to join the armed forces.
If your dreams don't pan out, it's a viable option.
And something in a nice little velvet box.
A necklace. The pearl almost looks real.
It better look very real, because it is.
- That's not funny. - This is not a funny gift.
Christopher, this is extremely not funny. This is totally humorless.
It's beautiful.
I think you're awesome, Lor.
With everything you do, and raising Rory the way you did...
you're superwoman.
Have a great day.
Wish I could be there. Take lots of pictures for me.
The camera. I forgot the camera.
Look in the basket.
You thought of everything.
- Have a great night. - Thanks.
You, too. Bye.
Could you...
Excuse me. Sir, do you know...
Excuse me. Do you know where Washington...
Excuse me, ma'am. Washington Square Park?
- End of Fifth. - Thank you.
Excuse me. Where's Fifth?
Hi.
How you doing?
- Good. How about you? - Good.
- You hungry? - Starved.
I know a place.
I feel very urban today.
Yeah, the plaid just screams urban.
- I think I look like a native. - How well do you know Manhattan?
I've been here a few times. We saw the Bangles here.
When was that, 20 years ago?
- It was a reunion, and they were great. - They're okay.
A couple of years ago, Mom drove us in to shop.
She couldn't find a good parking place, and all of the lots were total rip-offs.
So she kept making u-turns and cutting off taxis...
and we were being screamed at in so many different languages...
that we just turned around and drove home...
and bought a Hummel at the curio shop in Stars Hollow.
Very adventurous.
I'm just saying I'm no stranger to the Big Apple.
You are if you're calling it the Big Apple.
So I don't have the lingo down yet, but I have the attitude.
- You do? - Yeah.
When I was getting a locker for my backpack...
at the bus stop there was this guy just standing there staring at me.
And instead of ignoring him, I fixed him with a really withering stare.
- That I've got to see. - No.
Come on. Let me see your withering stare.
It's dangerous. I could hurt you.
- I've been hurt before. - No.
I'm disappointed.
- So, your arm's okay? - Yeah. It looks worse than it is.
I like this Emily chick. A friend of yours?
She's a friend to all of us dispossessed.
- So here's our lunch place. - A hot-dog stand?
I eat here everyday. It's nothing fancy, but...
- No, I love it. It's perfect. - Good.
- One with everything on it. - Make that two, please.
So, how's...
- Luke? - Yeah.
Okay.
- He went fishing. - Fishing?
Yeah. He didn't catch anything though.
- He probably used the wrong bait. - Yeah.
That's a common fishing blunder.
So he's good?
Yeah, he's good.
I can tell him hello for you if you want.
Whatever.
RORY: Thank you.
- My God. This is really good. - I'm glad you like it.
- So, how much time you got? - I got a bit.
There's a record store you should check out.
It's run by this insane freak who's a walking encyclopedia...
for every punk and garage band record ever made.
Catalog numbers. He's crazy. The place is right out of High Fidelity.
- Let's go. - Okay.
Where you going?
- Subway. - I thought we were gonna walk.
It's 15 blocks. Come on, I think you'll like it.
- Do they allow hot dogs in the subway? - You are so an out-of-towner.
Excuse me. Hi. I'm one of the graduates.
Wow. You're hours early.
I just wanted to beat traffic...
and have time to get ready and relax and also I've heard...
the early bird gets the unwrinkled gowns without the mysterious stains.
- This is true. Take your pick. - Thank you.
[Sighing happily]
This is so exciting. Isn't this exciting?
This is my eighth year of doing this.
So not so exciting for you. Got it.
You're being so cryptic. Do you need a power source or not?
My batteries are all fully charged. It just depends on how fast they deplete.
- So we need one just in case. - Mom.
Lorelai, it's hours before the ceremony. What are you doing here?
I'm sorry, what are you doing here? How do you even know about this?
I shouldn't know about this? A mother can't know about this?
- No, I just mean... - You're graduating.
- I know. - So we're here to see you graduate.
This is Raul.
So you and Raul are just here to see me graduate.
Don't be silly. Your father will be joining me later.
- My father? - Yes. Remember him? Tall, bow tie.
I remember Dad, Mom. I just... Rory told you.
Yes. That's okay, isn't it? It's a little late if it's not.
No, it's perfectly fine that you're here. Absolutely. I'm just surprised.
- Who are you? - I'm Raul.
- I just told you that. - Did Rory invite Raul, too?
Raul is my cameraman.
Cameraman?
He'll be filming the ceremony for us. He's very talented.
He screened an independent film of his as an audition. Welcome to Scabland.
It was disgusting, but beautifully photographed.
- It was supposed to be disgusting. - I'm sure it was.
Mom, all this stuff.
Excuse me. All of this equipment, it can't be here.
We won't leave all of this equipment here for everybody to trip over.
We are not cretins.
She's handling it. Right, Mom, you are handling it?
- This lighting sucks. - Can we do something about the lighting?
I don't think so, ma'am. I don't know.
It's a community college, we'll have to cope. Think documentary.
Mom, please. People will be showing up here soon.
Lorelai, I'm perfectly capable of handling this.
No one will be inconvenienced.
Okay. I'm just gonna let everyone deal with all of this...
because I need to relax and get a cup of coffee...
and maybe hammer a nail into my head.
You're not needed here, Lorelai. Go get your coffee. Relax.
You're going to redo your makeup later, aren't you?
Maybe an Irish coffee.
I haven't even heard of half these bands.
I love that about this place. Lane would want to live here.
Who's Slint?
- I don't know. - Grunge band out of Kentucky.
Two albums plus a double "A" side single. Disbanded in '94.
Thanks.
- My God. - What?
- Look. - The Go-Go's.
- You must have that one. - No. For my mom.
This was her favorite group when she was my age.
It's signed by Belinda.
This would be the perfect graduation present.
I've been looking all week long, and I couldn't find anything.
- Now I have Belinda. - Graduation?
From college. From business classes.
I'm surprised she has time for anything...
except lighting darts on fire and throwing them at my picture.
It's not a lot of time, but...
- Go on. Get it. She'll like it. - Thank you so much for bringing me here.
- This was fate. - I think it was.
And in return, I just might show you my withering stare.
I'm a lucky man.
- I think this one's mine. - Yep. The sign says "Booneville."
Excuse me. I'm so sorry to bother you. Which way is 44th?
- That way. - Great. Thanks.
- I got asked directions. - I saw.
He took me for a native. That's so cool.
That's very impressive. 44th is the other way.
- No. - It's all right.
Man, I should go find him.
He'll figure it out when he sees the numbers getting smaller.
He still thought I was a native. That's cool.
I'm your witness.
- Well, I should go. - Okay.
I got to go to my mom's graduation.
- And give her Belinda. - And give her Belinda.
Go on. I'll check on the guy.
I'll make sure he's not wandering around looking for 44th.
Why did you come here?
- What? - I said, why did you come here?
You ditched school and everything. That's so not you. Why'd you do it?
Because you didn't say goodbye.
Goodbye, Rory.
Bye, Jess.
- Great. I'm Woody Allen in Annie Hall. - You thought ahead. Smart.
The mirror. Yeah.
I never leave home without all the essentials:
mirror, makeup, picture of Shaun Cassidy.
- I'm done. Do you want to use it? - Thanks.
- Don't I look charming? - You look great.
I looked better. I had to run here straight from work. Kinko's.
Hey, Liza. That gets me thinking.
Maybe you and I ought to do a little reproducing after the ceremony.
- Clever. - Don't be a snot.
Shut up.
- That's my boyfriend, Zach. - Sure.
We're breaking up 'cause we're transferring to different schools.
He's going to Florida State. I'm going to UMass.
Although I'm gonna miss this place.
I'm not. This place stunk. It's bush-league.
Why'd you go here?
My parents, wise investors that they are, couldn't afford anything else.
Yeah, that 2.0 grade-point average didn't reason into things.
- Shut up. - Between the lines.
Go die.
Sure you don't wanna give it another go, 'cause you're darling together?
- Thanks for the mirror. - My pleasure.
Hey, a bunch of us are going to Shaky's afterwards for pizza.
You want to come?
I'm going out with my daughter after, but it sounds like fun.
You won't believe this. There's some blue-blooded rich woman out there...
setting up professional film equipment like she's shooting a movie.
- You're kidding. - Whose mother is it?
I don't know. Little precious must be around here somewhere.
- I hate people with money. - So do I, with every fiber of my being.
Me, too. Money people.
- Excuse me. - Yes?
- Are we leaving soon? - I have no idea.
Should you have an idea?
There was an accident, closed the interstate.
All outbound buses were told to stand down.
And you don't know when we're gonna be allowed to stand up again?
Soon, I hope. I hate missing dinner.
Yeah. Me, too.
There's our little graduate. My God, look at that gown.
You look just like the Statue of Liberty.
- All big and stony? - No. You look amazing.
You look very GQ.
Thanks to my best new friend Ermenegildo Zegna.
Don't you love how he can pronounce it now?
Very cosmopolitan.
He got it for the rehearsal dinner. It's his first real suit.
And not my last. I look hot.
You know that Emily's out there, right?
Why?
- It's a long story. Just do me a favor. - Sure.
Keep an eye on my parents. Make sure they don't disrupt anything.
My mother doesn't behead anyone. My father doesn't snore too loudly.
- They won't do anything like that. - Haven't you met them?
- Why would they do that? - They're here because Rory invited them.
They can't say no to that little face.
It's like hitting a puppy with a rolled-up newspaper.
You guys are not gonna believe this.
- You're Mr. Announcement Guy today. - You'll pipe in every time I talk?
- Can it. - Stuff it.
- They're in love. - Clearly.
Mrs. Got Bucks out there not only has a cameraman, she's got a sound guy, too.
It's like a Baz Luhrmann movie out there.
That's Emily, right?
- Rich people feel so entitled. - Yes, damn them.
I saw her wipe her face with a $100 bill.
We should line them up against a wall. You know what I'm saying?
- Is Lorelai Gilmore here? - Yes.
Good. Have a look at these, will you?
- Wow. Pretty. - Look them over and take your pick.
- What for? - To wear.
- Are they for sale? - No. They're paid for.
These are from your mother, Emily Gilmore.
- Wow. Ritzy. - I really don't want to wear a corsage.
- They're all paid for. - Really. It's too much.
- Your mother wants you to pick one. - Really, it's okay.
She'll just come back here herself.
- This one, thanks. - Good choice.
The cameraman said that would look best on film.
- So you're the rich girl. - Maybe. I'm not rich...
but my parents have money. But I'm totally self-sufficient.
I take nothing from them except this corsage and my daughter's tuition.
So, are you gonna stone me?
I should've guessed. Look at her friends.
They're wearing suits that drip money.
Hey, pal, this was 30% off.
That's why you didn't want to get pizza 'cause it's below you?
No, Liza. Pizza is not below me.
I love pizza. I eat tons of pizza. It's one of my four major food groups.
Candy, popcorn, and pizza.
See. It's two of my food groups. That's how much I love pizza.
I want to believe you.
Enjoy your champagne and caviar at the Ritz, Your Highness.
I am not rich.
[Pager beeping]
My pager.
- Maybe this suit was a little much. - You're a fox. Now, don't start.
- No. - What?
- Rory's running late. - Late from what?
She doesn't say.
She'll be here, but if she's not here by 7:00, she'll sneak in the back.
- That's weird. - She'll be here. Don't worry.
I hope so.
We'll sit in back, keep an eye out for her, and save her a seat.
Can you hang on to all my stuff for me? I don't want to leave it in here.
- Will do. - Thank you.
Bye.
You don't trust your valuables around us poor kids?
Knock it off, Zach.
You don't look happy.
- I'm late. - These buses are the worst.
Why are we making so many stops?
The bus didn't make stops on the way into the city.
That was probably an express. This is a local. It makes a lot of stops.
I should have checked the schedule. I should have checked traffic.
Note to self: Impulsive definitely does not work for me.
What are you doing?
- It's for my spit. - Your what?
For my smokeless.
Victor David Fuller.
Nancy Brenda Gatson.
Making sure the camera's getting your best side, princess?
Are you telling me that that is the best commencement speaker...
they can scrounge up?
I hope Raul's getting enough shots of Lorelai.
I don't want the whole damn ceremony and none of her.
I disagree. I hope he gets every inspired word...
articulated by the East Coast Marketing Director of Pup 'n' Taco.
Raul.
Oh, jeez.
WOMAN: John Lawrence Gilfer.
Lorelai Victoria Gilmore.
Hey. Mom, Dad.
Lorelai.
- Well, I did it. - Yes.
Raul thinks he got some good footage.
I should hope so. He certainly cost enough.
I'm sure it'll be great.
- Congratulations, Lorelai. - Thank you.
I'm glad you guys came.
Yes, well, we should get going.
I guess we'll see you tomorrow for dinner.
Hey, wait.
- Aren't we gonna take a picture? - Excuse me?
The three of us. Me in the middle with the gown.
You know, the traditional pose.
Well, we don't have a camera with us.
Hold on.
- That's a camera? - That's a camera.
It looks like a toy.
Raul, would you mind?
So...
Okay, on the count of one, two, three.
Cheese.
Thank you.
Yes, well, tomorrow then.
Absolutely.
Let's go, Richard.
I'll be right there, Emily.
Congratulations.
- You don't have to do this. - Put it towards something fun.
Thank you, Daddy.
- We're so proud of you. - Yeah. You were great up there.
Thanks, you guys. Where's Rory?
- No Rory? - She called your cell, and I answered.
She said she got hung up on something and she'll see you at home.
Hung up where? Is she okay?
She said she's fine. She's sorry, but fine.
As long as she's okay, I guess.
Well, I should probably get the gown back.
Thanks for coming, Sook, Marcus Schenkenberg.
You want to go out to eat? Celebrate a little?
- I think I'll just go home to Rory. - I thought so.
- See you tomorrow. - Thanks.
Wait a minute.
Aspirins instead of Jordan almonds? But we already bought the almonds.
Now, that's the longest anything's ever taken.
My family's not gonna get the joke. Can't we just use the almonds?
Okay, sweetie, calm down.
I'm so sorry.
- You're okay, right? - Yes.
Everything's working. Your wrist is okay. Nothing new is broken.
I'm fine.
Anyone you know, like Lane, get sick today...
or break an arm themselves, or get in a car wreck?
- No. - Okay, good.
Then I can get past worried and move on to the other things.
- I know you're hurt. - You bet I'm hurt.
I really wanted you there today. More than anything.
You're why I did this stupid thing in the first place.
It was a once-in-a-lifetime thing.
You should've been there.
My best friend should have been there. Whatever it was...
you should have gotten out of it. At least this once.
- Was it school? - It wasn't school.
- Was it Paris? - It wasn't Paris.
- What was it? - So stupid.
Where were you? What happened?
- I cut school. - You what?
I cut school, and I got on a bus, and I don't even know why I did it.
I have no excuse.
I was just standing outside of Chilton, and I must have had a stroke.
- What does a stroke feel like? - I don't know. Not good, probably.
I left school and I got on a bus and I went to New York.
That's it. I'm grounded for six months or seven.
And no TV, no stereo, no reading.
In fact, take all of my books away from me and lock them up.
Hold on, you went to New York?
And no magazines, either. I'll do all the housework. Laundry, dishes.
We're gonna start eating at home so we have dishes.
Rory, stop. Why did you go to New York?
- To see Jess. - Boy, do you know how to bury the lead.
- I don't know what happened. - You went to New York to see Jess.
It was a stroke. It made me someone else.
- After his phone call last night... - That was him?
It did something to me. I don't know what.
In fact, you should take the phone away from me, too.
That's right. Add it to the list. No books, no music, no phone.
- I'm a horrible person. - You're not a horrible person.
I'm sick. I'm ill. I'm cracked. This is not who I am.
If I were to write this down in my diary and I would read it...
I would be like, "Who is this freak? This isn't me. This isn't my diary."
I wouldn't skip school when I had finals coming up...
to go see a guy that isn't even my guy...
and miss my mother's graduation, which I wanted to be at so badly.
That's someone else.
That's someone flighty, and stupid, and dumb, and girlie.
I mean, I missed your graduation...
which is the worst thing I could have possibly done.
I hurt you, and I had to spend hours on a stinky bus...
next to a guy that was spitting into a can...
thinking about all the minutes going by that I wasn't at your graduation...
and they were hurting you...
because it was so selfish of this person who wasn't me to do what she did.
- Take a breath. - I don't deserve a breath.
No breaths. You should add that to the list.
You should beat me, ground me, take the phone away, and deprive me of air.
Okay, look, nobody wants to say this any less than me...
but maybe you don't have a medical condition or a mental problem.
Maybe, honey, you are falling for Jess.
No. I love Dean. Dean is my boyfriend.
He will always be my boyfriend. That's it. Forever.
- Maybe not forever. - Yes. Forever. I love Dean.
Jess is gone now. Everything's gonna be good again.
- Everything's gonna be all right. - Rory, you cut school.
You got on a bus and went to a strange city in your uniform to see Jess.
I know.
That doesn't mean nothing. That means something.
No. I don't want to talk about this anymore.
The only thing I want to talk about...
is the list I made on the bus of all the ways I'll make this up to you.
"You get total control over the remote and the stereo for as long as you want."
"Total control over takeout food choices..."
"And a special surprise present every day for a month."
- My God. I left your present on the bus. - What present?
It was a vinyl copy of the Go-Go's original album signed by Belinda.
But it's not the only copy. I'm gonna find another copy.
That's going on the list, too.
Honey, please. Forget about the list until tomorrow.
Okay, I'll just go to bed then. I'll go to my room.
Hold on one second.
Does this mean I have to eat alone?
It's up to you. Sending me to bed without supper.
You can't lose with that punishment. It's a classic.
I'd rather go out with my daughter tonight.
- I don't deserve it. - No. But I do.
Okay, just let me take a shower...
and get the horrible smell of this horrible day off of me.
Then we'll go anywhere you want. My treat. And I won't enjoy it.
Then we'll come home, and I'll go straight to bed...
and have a terrible night's sleep, okay?
Sounds great.
I'm so, so sorry, Mom.
Really?
'Cause you didn't make that clear.
I won't be long.