- What? - Nothing.
- Are you tilting? - No.
- I think you're tilting. - I'm not.
Want to hold on to my purse? It might even you out.
Stop any time you like. What are you doing?
I'll put a pen on top of your head and see if it rolls off.
This is not how you console the injured.
You're right. I'm sorry.
- What about this? - The Little Locksmith.
And I got it at the bookstore. Paid full price.
- Thank you. - You're welcome. Feel better?
- I do. - Good.
- Now can I put a pen on top of your head? - No.
- Mom... - Good. Hold still.
- Forget the pen. - Drat!
When are you gonna tell me what happened between you and Luke?
Was it bad? I'm sure it was bad, but how bad is bad?
- It was nothing. - Really?
Look, I was upset, he was upset, we had a thing. It's over, we're fine.
- A thing? - A tiny thing.
- A tiny thing? - A thinglet, if you will.
You and Luke don't have thinglets often.
Everybody has thinglets. Part of being a grown-up.
- What did he say? What did you say? - Please.
Okay, fine. Just answer me this.
- We are on our way to Luke's? - Right.
- When we get there, will we get in? - Of course.
- We'll get served? - Yes.
- We'll get coffee? - Maybe.
- Refills? - Eventually.
- Free refills? - In a month.
The thinglet has grown into a thing.
Rory, Luke and I have fought before. God knows we'll fight again.
But it's over. It's history. We'll go in...
he'll be crabby, I'll be adorable, he'll forget everything...
- and that, as they say, will be that. - Okay.
- Hey, is there a line? - Closed.
- What? - Closed.
- Luke's is closed? - Luke's is never closed.
- I know. - You sure it's closed?
First I read the sign, then I tried the door in case it was some elaborate ruse.
- Designed to keep you out? - There's precedent.
- Luke's gone fishing. That's great. - It is?
Yes. He works hard, he needed a break, he took it.
- I think it's good. Healthy. - For who? I have blood sugar issues.
- Mom, it's because... - No, it isn't.
- But he never... - Well, now he did.
Rory, he took a trip. Don't read anything into it.
- It's because of the other night. - No, it isn't.
Even if it is, it'll go away. Everything will be fine.
Speak for yourself. I left my wallet in there yesterday.
- Why are we standing? - The sign says, "Wait to be seated."
Yeah, but we are not automatons, we are rule breakers...
and there are 50 open tables.
- You're exaggerating. - One, two, three, four, fifty. I'm not.
I'm sure someone will help us soon.
We should be eating. I'm hungry. This is crazy. Don't they want us eating?
Isn't that the point of The Hungry Diner? To feed the hungry diner?
Or is the point to keep the hungry diner hungry?
They should call it The Eternally Hungry Diner...
'cause you won't get any food here, loser.
That'll be quite a sign.
I'll give these paper-top turkey heads three seconds to seat us or I'm gonna...
WAITRESS: Two? LORELAI: Yes, please.
RORY: You'll what? LORELAI: What?
You said you'll do something if they didn't help us.
- I did? - Yes.
Then the waitress came over, and you never finished.
Get some food into you. You're imagining things.
- What would you do? - You're getting screwy.
- Mom! - I'm not your mom.
- Do you need help, little girl? - Oh, my God.
- How's this? - Perfect. Thanks.
- Can I bring you coffee to start? - To start and finish.
- You need a little pick-me-up? - Do I?
Back in a jiff.
When she comes back, we'll hold her down...
and tell her ugly things about the world.
Get your daughter to help you with your evil plan.
Make nice.
How convenient. They have pictures of all the food...
in case you've been in a cave for the last 50 years...
and have no idea what a stack of pancakes looks like.
- Excuse me. I'm sorry. - Yes, sweetie?
- What are the tiny cups for? - They're coffee cups. They're for coffee.
- Are you running out? - I'm sorry?
Never mind. Listen, we are very sleepy this morning...
so would you happen to have something in a larger size?
Say, a mug, a tureen, a small bowl of some kind?
- A coffee bowl? - Yes, a coffee bowl.
- Two, please. - We don't have coffee bowls. I'm sorry.
Then would you mind bringing...
- What do you think, two, three? - Three's good.
Three of these cute little cuppy things...
and could you leave the pot in the meantime?
It looks like coffee, smells like coffee.
- The comparison stops there. - This sucks!
Just put a lot of stuff so you can't taste it.
How will I fit my three sugars into Barbie's Malibu Dream Cup here?
- It'll be all sugar and no coffee. - You might prefer it that way.
LORELAI: Well, well, well. RORY: What?
I'll be right back.
So, what's new for fall? I hear the sailor suit is hot.
What are you doing here?
- Luke's is closed this morning. - By the health inspector, no doubt.
This is where you have your breakfast?
- Until this morning, yes. - How's the grub?
They make an excellent egg-white omelet, no oil.
Really?
They use the spray... Can you leave now?
You never told me about this place.
You might eat here, and there would be no corner of my life...
which would be free of your incessant scrutiny.
What are you doing with the fork?
- Can I have a bite? - What?
- Just a taste. - Get away from me.
Michel, don't go! Come eat with us.
- You'd like that, wouldn't you? - Not really.
Good. It's a date.
- You, me, here tomorrow? - Never.
- I'm beginning to like this place. - I'm glad.
- Mom, I need to ask you a favor. - Ask away.
I need you to get me out of dinner tonight.
Dean's coming and he doesn't know about the accident.
If I'm not there the second he gets home...
then someone else will tell him, and that would be...
Horrible. I agree.
- I really hate to ask you this. - Forget about it.
- Really? - Absolutely.
- Make things right with Dean. - I appreciate this.
No problem. It gives me extra time to work...
on my why-Rory's-wearing-a-cast story for your grandparents.
- Yeah? What have you got so far? - Really big bees.
- It's good you've got the time. - Yeah, it is.
I'm so sorry Rory isn't feeling well. Is it that flu that's been going around?
- Yes, it is. - Horrible strain.
Bunny Carlington Munchausen has been bedridden for two straight weeks.
It must wipe her out just toting that name around.
Should I take a drink for Richard? I hate to disturb him when he's working.
- He's working? Like, work-working? - That's right.
His articles of incorporation arrived last week. He's rented an office.
Your father is now the president and CEO of the Gilmore Group...
an international insurance consulting firm.
Wow, that's great.
- What's his job? - He's a consultant.
Meaning?
Your father is an international insurance consultant.
Yeah, but what exactly does that mean?
He consults on matters related to international insurance.
Wait. When Dad goes to his new office, he sits down, and he...
Consults with international clients on insurance matters.
I don't know why we're not opening for Rickles.
RICHARD: Damn it! EMILY: Richard? Are you all right?
No, I am not all right. That was Margie just now on the phone.
EMILY: How is she? LORELAI: Who is she?
You know very well who Margie is.
She's been your father's secretary since you were a child.
Largie Margie. Very clever when you're six.
In answer to your question, Emily, Margie is well.
So well, in fact, that she has decided not to join me in my new business.
- What? - She's staying with the old firm.
But you were the only reason she even had a job at that firm.
I went to great pains to remind her of just that.
This is simply unacceptable!
You and that rotund ingrate had an agreement.
- There was an agreement in writing? - Not in writing per se...
but she helped me procure my new office.
She arranged to have all my things sent over.
All that was left was for her to accept my formal offer.
A generous one, if I may say so.
- And she just turned you down? - She had the gall to counteroffer.
She kept insisting that I match her current salary.
You weren't even offering to match the poor woman's salary?
Lorelai, the Gilmore Group is a fledgling enterprise.
I can't afford to pay Margie her full salary right away.
But after 20 years, where is the woman's sense of loyalty?
I don't know. Maybe with the company...
that's keeping her from standing in line for government cheese.
At this point, I don't know how to proceed.
- Of course you don't. - I had counted on this.
Of course you had.
Perhaps I should reconsider going forward.
- That may be best. - Excuse me?
- I can't do it without Margie. - No one would expect you to.
You can't be serious.
I wonder if it's too late to get out of my lease.
You should look into that immediately.
[Lorelai exclaiming]
There is a baby here desperately in need of some bathwater.
- What is she saying? - What are you saying?
I'm just saying there are other options to consider.
- Like what? - Hire another secretary.
No. Your father's had other secretaries.
Three, in fact. Each one worse than the previous one.
- Until Margie. - Margie was a gem.
Margie did everything for him.
Yes, but there are plenty of other Margies out there...
dying to be in that co-dependent relationship with you.
You will find one. Trust me.
She may not be named Margie, but if you pay her enough...
- you can call her what you want. - I don't have time to find someone new.
The office is a disaster. Everything is in boxes.
I don't know where anything is or how anything works.
The computers, the phones, even my office chair.
Okay, Dad, I'll tell you what.
Tomorrow afternoon after my business class...
I will come to your office. We'll get you unpacked and settled.
We'll find you someone as good as Margie, or at least cheaper.
I hate to see you waste your time.
- I'll blindfold you then. - I don't know.
There's another Margie out there. Honest. Just give it a chance.
- An office without Margie. - Seems inconceivable.
Dream with me here, folks.
- Hey. - Hey.
Hi, Rory.
What happened? What did you do to your arm?
Here.
- What is this? - Just read it.
What's going on? Tell me how you hurt your arm.
It's all in the letter. Read.
- I love you, too. - Good.
- Now hold on to that feeling for a minute. - Why?
- Just... - Read. All right, I'm reading.
[Dean sighing]
- What? - Keep going.
[Dean grunts disbelievingly]
- What? - Turn it over.
What?
Go on. You have three more "what's" ahead of you.
It gets better at the end.
I'll just stand here until you get there.
- Is he really gone? - Yes.
Okay.
- Want to come in? - What?
You can stay for dinner. My mom's making a roast. You like roast, right?
Yeah, I like roast.
Okay. Come on.
Then we just watched TV.
You mean you "watched TV?" Use the air quotes, sweetie.
- His little sister was there. - So you watched TV. Go on.
And then he walked me home.
- That's it? - That's it.
- Did he kiss you good night? - Yep.
- Didn't ask about the other night? - No.
- Didn't ask about the car? - Not once.
And Jess?
He just asked if he was really gone. And that was it.
I thought he would yell, scream, and want to break up.
- Instead, he gave me his corn. - He did? When?
- At dinner. - So you were already eating.
It wasn't just an out of the blue, "I give you my corn." Got it.
Maybe it hasn't sunk in. Maybe he'll be mad tomorrow.
Maybe he's even more terrific than we thought.
- It's not covering the whole cast. - Relax. I'm not finished.
- Do you really think he's okay with it? - Sounds like it.
If the situation were reversed, I wouldn't be okay with it.
If the situation was reversed, Dean wouldn't let Jess drive his car.
I guess I should just be grateful, then?
- Grateful, absolutely. - What are these?
These are résumés for your grandpa's new secretary.
There are, like, 100 of them.
The world is full of eager, young people...
waiting to have the life sucked out of them by Richard Gilmore.
Okay, I'm finished. What do you think of that?
If we were gazelles, we'd be eaten first at the watering hole.
Be thankful we're not gazelles. Go take your shower.
You're starting to look like you're starring in an independent film.
Dean knows you. He knows you wouldn't do anything to hurt him.
So you're lucky. Just focus on that.
Jess is gone. Now you guys can start over.
And even though the box says it's safe...
I want you to keep your arm out of the microwave for at least a week.
LORELAI: Dad? RICHARD: Come in.
So, let me guess. The Wu-Tang Clan had the office before you.
It's a bit disheveled.
- It's freezing in here. - Yes, it has been since I moved in.
Did you try adjusting the thermostat?
Yes. That only seemed to make it angry.
You've been Nanooking it the whole time? Sending for whale blubber and mukluks?
I wouldn't touch that if I were you. You don't know what you're...
- The wind done gone. - So it would seem, for the moment.
No, I turned it off. Let me show you.
[Telephone ringing]
- Do you want to get that? - No, they've already hung up.
Next time hold an envelope up to your head before you do that.
It's been doing it all day. The phone rings once, then they're gone.
Because your messages are forwarded to your voice mail.
See where it says voice mail?
- How could that happen? - I don't know. Where's your manual?
- Manual. - Came with the phone.
Probably has a picture of a phone on it.
Look what I found under your copper-ball- glued-to-the-wood thing.
No, it's brass.
One of the firm's parting gifts as they nudged me into retirement.
So in addition to being heavy and ugly, it's also insulting.
- Quite. - There you go. That should work.
- Want to call me from your office? - This is my office.
- Whose office is that? - Yes, excellent idea.
[Telephone ringing]
- That isn't me calling. - Didn't think so. Should I get that?
Yes, please.
Hello, the Gilmore Group.
Mr. Henson. Why, yes, he just walked out. May I take a message?
How are you spelling "Larry?"
Traditionally? Great.
Okay. Thank you for calling. Bye-bye.
- Where the hell are your pens? - Watch your language, young lady.
- What did Larry want? - He wants to know where your pens are.
He wants you to call him. Where are all the office supplies?
I haven't gotten around to that yet.
Before anything else can happen, you need pens, paper.
You need everything else, don't you?
Especially since I may be tempted to wash my hand.
- Where does one get these? - Where did you used to get them?
- From Margie. - From Margie. I saw that coming.
All right. Well, let's go.
Good Lord, this place goes on forever!
It goes on until chair mats and floor mats, but if you're not careful...
you'll loop back into inks and toners and be here all day. Stay close.
There's a seat in the cart if you want a ride.
I'll pass. Look at the scale of this place.
No one needs all these options. It's oppressive.
Hundreds of paper clips in every conceivable color and size.
Who on earth would buy these things?
We would.
Now, what's the first thing you do when you get to the office in the morning?
Well, let's see. I return the calls from Asia first.
That's right, you make coffee, so you need a coffee maker.
Let's see. Ugly, crappy, German, pretty.
Well, as long as it's pretty.
Why is everything worth having just out of reach?
Is there no one here whose job it is to actually assist paying customers?
No. That's how they can afford to sell this baby for 40% off.
40% off? I had no idea.
Nicely done, Dad. You won't be sorry.
It's suddenly becoming clear to me that I'm an old man.
I don't recognize half the whatsits and doodads in here.
Here we have an assortment of magic sticks...
and when you press down on paper, writing comes out.
I know what pens are.
Good. Pick out your favorites, and I'll try
to figure out how to explain Liquid Paper.
You're cute.
- I can't possibly use all of those. - You won't. You'll lose half of them.
Then you'll be really happy to have the ones you have left.
Now, paper.
All right. This ought to do nicely for now.
Are you going into business for two weeks?
You're building an empire. Think big, Gilmore!
Plus, if you get the box, it's cheaper.
Hey, how do you happen to know all of this?
It's how we do it at the inn.
You have to spend money to make money. Tip from me to you.
Good point. What else?
- I strongly recommend a stapler. - Stapler.
- Some extra staples. - I'm way ahead of you.
- Good man. Post-its. - My goodness, look at all the Post-its.
I had no idea they came in so many shapes and colors.
I'm going to get a 12-pack for myself in various hues.
- Wise move. - And one for Emily.
She posts notes on her vanity mirror to remind her of various activities.
- She'll think it's Christmas. - Done.
Now, what else is on the hit parade?
Might be controversial, but I was thinking of a three-hole punch if we can find one.
I think we're both up to the challenge. Shall we?
- Dawn Powell? I've never heard of her. - Nobody has, which is a shame...
because she wrote 16 amazing novels, nine plays and there are some who claim...
it was Powell who made the jokes that Dorothy Parker got credit for.
- Blasphemy! - I know.
I won't hold it against her till I have proof...
she was involved with the smear campaign.
Look! They finally took the boards off the windows.
- I wonder what it's going to be. - I don't know.
RORY: What's that in the corner? LANE: I think it's a bass.
It's a bass! And there are guitars on the wall.
Oh, my God, it's a music shop!
Much better than the ceramic circus store we thought was going in.
I can't believe it! Stars Hollow has taken its first steps toward being cool.
I wonder when it'll open.
If you keep pushing on the glass, much sooner than anticipated.
- Hey, hold on a sec. - Why? What's wrong?
Nothing. I'll be right back.
- Taylor. - Rory, hello.
Hi. Listen, I just wanted to...
- Just look at that arm. - It's fine, really.
- Does it hurt? - No, not much.
I hope you're not getting addicted to painkillers like those Hollywood people.
I'm not. Don't worry.
Good, because pain is your body's way of saying...
"I'm not okay now, but I will be soon."
I will remember that.
You don't want to shut your body up too soon. That's called death.
Right.
Taylor, listen, I just wanted to apologize to you.
- About what? - About the other night.
My car hit the bench that had your brand-new Doose's Market sign on it.
I know how much that sign meant to you. I am so sorry it was ruined.
Well, it wasn't your fault.
But my car hit the bench.
Your car hit the bench because that Jess was driving.
Well, yeah, but...
That boy is a walking natural disaster. They should name a tornado after him!
But he didn't cause it.
You don't have to explain a thing to me.
I know there's no way that you would be involved in something like that...
if it weren't for that Sal Mineo wannabe.
Believe me, Chachi and Chachi alone will be held responsible for that incident.
Okay? Good.
- Now, take a peach. - Thanks.
- So, is he mad? - No, not at me.
- Well, that's good. - Yeah, that's good.
That's my home phone number, my pager number...
my cell number and a partial list of references.
I'll hang on to this, but as I said before, we just opened...
so I'm not really looking to hire anybody right now.
I am licensed to carry a gun, if that will help.
You have no idea how much.
[Heavy Metal Drummer by Wilco]
- Can I help you? - No, thank you, I was just looking.
We like the looking. It's the touching we're a little iffy on.
Actually, I was just going...
That would have been construed as touching, huh?
- Yes. - Right.
Oh, my.
That's a DW drum set with Zildjian cymbals.
- It's beautiful. - You play?
Oh, no. I wish.
- Sit. - What?
- Sit down. See how it feels. - I couldn't.
- Why, your legs don't bend? - No, they bend.
- If they bend, then bend them. - Well, okay.
- This is a good stool. - Yes, it is. Here.
You can't sit down at a drum set without your sticks.
Right, 'cause that would be stupid.
Remember, no touching.
- You look good. - Thanks.
RICHARD: Granted, the European insurance market still needs some restructuring...
but it's growing at a remarkable rate. What am I basing it on?
Clive, surely you've seen the latest Eurostat.
Yes, I've got it right in front of me. Eurostat.
Yes, here it is. Let's see.
The highest contributions in absolute terms...
were reached in the United Kingdom, Germany, and the Netherlands.
Yes, I would have to look up those specific coding and reference numbers.
Yes, I've got them right here.
For the year 2001.
Here they are.
[Telephone ringing]
Are you interested in the Netherlands?
That market will go through the roof.
Gilmore Group. May I help you?
Margie doesn't work for the company.
I'm the one who called to schedule the DSL appointment. Well, no.
We really need the DSL line installed today.
It's just awful being without it.
Okay, if you can make it before 5:00, everything's good...
but any later than that won't work...
because the cable modem people are dropping by about 5:05.
Thank you. That's great. Okay, bye-bye.
- They'll be here in 20 minutes. - I must say, I'm impressed.
- I'm no Margie. - Who needs her?
- Speaking of which... - What's this?
The secretarial candidates for tomorrow's interviews.
I've looked at them carefully...
and somewhere in there is a Margie for the new millennium.
- I'll get it. - No.
Get to know your new secretary. I don't mind.
Gilmore Group. May I help you?
Yes. Richard Gilmore, please.
[Squeakily] Certainly. May I ask who's calling?
- Emily Gilmore. - And does he know what this is about?
I hope so. I'm his wife.
Richard didn't say anything about being married.
- What? - Mom, relax. It's me.
- Lorelai? - Yes.
- You're crude and unprofessional. - I'd like that on my tombstone.
What can I do for you?
I'm throwing a cocktail party at the office
on Friday to help launch the new business.
The caterers will be arriving at 3:00 sharp to set up, so...
Are you writing this down? You should be.
- I'm scribbling furiously. - Margie always wrote everything down.
Does this mean no Friday night dinner?
- It means we'll see you both at the party. - Bye.
Rory, sweetie, hold on there, baby!
Hey, Babette. Is everything okay?
I should be asking you that question. Come here! Let me see that arm.
You poor little thing. How you doing?
I'm doing fine.
Look at you being brave like that after all you've been through.
- It's so hard being a woman, isn't it? - I guess.
You got your morals, your standards, and good common sense...
and then you meet some guy, and all that goes right out the window.
For every good woman, there's a dirty little wolf ready to lead her astray!
You can't help it. He's got the eyes...
the chin, chest hair you could carpet your dining room with.
I mean, what's a woman to do? We're not made of steel, for God's sakes!
I was in a cult once! Did I tell you that?
- No. - I met this guy once.
Gorgeous, tan, looked just like Mickey Hargitay.
We had coffee. He gave me a pamphlet. Next thing you know...
I'm wearing a muumuu, playing a tambourine...
- jumping up and down at the airport! - I really have to get inside.
Sure, honey. Take good care of yourself.
And don't be embarrassed, toots! This has happened to all of us.
Mom, are you here?
LORELAI: Hey, you. It's me. I'm gonna be home late today.
Trying to find Grandpa a Margie.
Order pizza. Money's under the rabbi. Hope your arm's feeling okay. Bye-bye.
[Oriental music playing]
[Telephone ringing]
- I have found my calling. - What are you talking about?
I'm talking about my future, my path...
my destiny, my thing, my scene, my bag.
I'm talking about the number-one item on my cosmic to-do list!
RORY: Which is?
- I'm gonna be a drummer! - You're kidding!
I went into that new music store today. I don't know why. I just had to.
Something told me, "There's something in there you need to see."
And there it was. It was red and shiny. I'm so excited I can't breathe!
- That's amazing. - I know.
- How will you do this? - I don't know.
- How will you buy a drum set? - I don't know.
Even if you buy one, where will you play it?
I don't know any of this, but I will figure something out...
because I am Keith Moon! I am Neil Peart! I am Rick Allen, with and without the arm!
Because I am rock 'n' roll, baby!
I'll call you later.
[All singing Korean hymn]
When she opened her own office, she asked me to come...
as her executive assistant and office manager...
- which was a terrific opportunity. - I bet.
How so?
In that I was able to build that office...
and its staff from the ground up and develop a system from scratch.
So you have a system.
Which helped double productivity and billing hours...
but then she got pregnant, and here we are.
Wow. Story of my life. Literally.
Well, thank you for coming in, Karen.
We'll let you know once we make our decision.
Thank you, Mr. Gilmore. It was a pleasure meeting you both.
Here. I'll walk you out.
Love what's going on with your shoes, by the way.
- Hey, look what I found. - Good. Lunch. I'm starving!
- Do you want to eat in here today? - Sure. Why not?
Good, they threw in pickles like I asked.
It's great having this place just across the street.
You'll never starve.
Maybe we should start a tab with them so we don't have to pay cash every day.
- Already done. - Amazing!
You're like the tiny fellow on that M♪A♪S♪H program. Always anticipating.
So, what do we think?
- Tasty! - No, I mean about Karen.
- Who? - Karen.
The woman who was here. The one with the system.
Rather inexperienced, I thought.
Dad, she worked as an executive assistant for six years!
She's young, and young women tend to be flighty.
She worked for the same woman for five of those six years.
This roast beef is delicious. It's lean, it's tender.
- What did you get? - Cheeseburger.
I may get one myself if we order from the same place tomorrow.
Tomorrow? You mean for more secretary interviews?
Whatever's on the agenda.
Dad, you've already seen three people...
who would be absolutely perfect for the job.
You can't rush these things, Lorelai.
A man's secretary sets the tone for the entire enterprise.
- I know that, but... - It has to do with chemistry...
which cannot be manufactured out of sheer necessity.
Besides, you and I seem to be doing just fine for the moment.
Yes, for the moment. But the moment is coming to a rapid end.
What do you mean?
I can't work here 'cause I have my own job.
I know that, Lorelai.
I need you to find an assistant soon, like, now...
because I don't know when I'll come back.
I need to see more résumés. In the meantime...
- Dad, I cannot come back here tomorrow. - I see.
I didn't mean that to sound so harsh. I meant...
I know exactly what you meant to say. I got the message.
Well, I won't keep you any longer. I know how busy you are.
Dad, I didn't mean I have to go right now. We can finish our lunch.
I'm finished.
Will you leave the phone number of the sandwich shop for me?
I'll need it.
All the numbers you need are there on your desk.
Good. Now, if you'll excuse me...
I have some of my own work to attend to. Thank you for all your help.
Dad, if it makes any difference, I thought that Karen was...
Thank you.
Here.
You know, there will be food there.
Finger food, a.k.a. "snooty little balls of attitude."
- Oh, boy. - I need real food. Peasant food!
Hearty bread, meat, cheese, little pickle chips, a sauce!
A special sauce. This is the food that sustains me. The food...
Just eat the burger already!
- Crabby! - I'm not crabby.
- I didn't finish my special sauce speech! - Sorry.
- Does your arm hurt? - No, I'm just tired, I guess.
All right, we won't stay very long.
Just long enough to get five or six withering stares from my dad...
and be taken down three or four notches by my mother. Then we're out of there.
- Not good? - Really not good.
I swear, Luke better come back soon, or I'm gonna starve to death.
- I'm sorry. - For what?
- Luke's gone because of me. - Honey, he is not!
Yes, he is. I got into an accident, and you guys had a fight.
Rory, it isn't your fault! If it's anyone's fault...
- Jess' fault. - Well, yes!
Why does everyone in this town think that it is all Jess' fault?
- Let's not talk about this, okay? - I was there too, you know!
Rory, everyone here loves you.
They know you're not the get-in-an-accident-knock-over-a-bench girl.
I know that and I appreciate that, but...
I want you to stop beating yourself up about this. It's over! Jess is gone.
Let's forget about this, okay? Please?
- Fine. - Good.
- Can you hand me that burger? - You said it was bad.
That burger may be a disgusting burger, but it considers me its equal.
Oh, jeez, this is worse than the clowns in the Volkswagen.
- A lot of people. - Do you want something to drink?
We're three martinis behind everyone else.
- Just water, I guess. - Coming up.
I should have brought breadcrumbs. Excuse me.
Lorelai, there you are. You're late.
You scheduled this beer bash during rush hour.
When traffic is leaving Hartford.
Not when Emily Gilmore is throwing a party.
Isn't it wonderful, everyone coming for your father?
Yeah, but don't you ever think about scaling back a little?
I scaled back a lot. I cut two appetizers, I canceled the champagne fountain...
and I reduced the catering staff to six servers, not counting the point man.
You can't not have a point man, then what's the point?
If you make it look cheap, people think you're unsuccessful.
Absolutely right.
Better to deprive them of oxygen so they don't have to think at all.
- It is rather warm here. - Want me to get the air going?
- No, Karen knows how to do it. - Karen?
Your father's new secretary. She's wonderful. Very professional.
Karen, darling, would you mind...
I'll have Karen draw up the contracts in the morning.
- Hi, Dad. - Lorelai.
- Swell party. - Yes, it's mostly your mother's doing.
- What just went down there? - Down where?
The handshake with the man in the gray suit. Did you score a deal?
One doesn't score deals in the insurance business.
One builds relationships based on trust and fulfilling the client's needs.
- Mr. Lundquist and I just... - Mr. Lundquist?
- Yes. - Lundquist from Aero International?
- Yes. - You bagged the Swede?
Just as I didn't score a deal, I also haven't bagged the Swede.
We simply talked. We came to an agreement. We shook hands.
You shook hands! That means...
I'll send him the contracts in the morning.
- Dad, that's big! - Yes, I suppose it is big.
That's gigantic! It's a whole new market for you.
- It opens up all Scandinavia, doesn't it? - Beyond that.
Lundquist is his company's rep for Russia as well.
- Russia! - Da.
- Look who's taking over the world. - I suppose that would be me!
- I see that you hired Karen. - Yes, I had to get someone in here.
- She seems to be working out well. - She's no Margie, but we'll see.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have several more deals to score...
now that I have finished bagging the Swede.
- He's really in his element, isn't he? - And happier than he's been in years!
There's Rory. I was wondering where she's...
- What's that on her arm? - I was gonna tell you about that.
- Hi, Grandma. - That's a cast.
- That is a cast. She hurt her arm. - When? How bad is it?
- I fractured my wrist. - Oh, my God!
It's just a hairline fracture. It's tiny.
- When did this happen? - Last week.
Last week? Why didn't you call me? I can't believe you!
- Well, I meant to. - How did this happen?
- Bees! - I got in a car accident.
- What? - I got in a car accident!
Oh, my God! How could you not tell us she got into a car accident?
Is this why she missed dinner? You said she had the flu!
I didn't want you to worry.
Clearly there was nothing to worry about!
It was that car? The one her boyfriend made.
Richard was dead set against letting her drive that death mobile.
- It wasn't the car, Mom. - Well, then, what was it?
A friend and I went to get ice cream.
- Which friend? Lane? - Jess.
- Jess? - Luke's nephew.
Him? I thought you were going to keep that boy away from her!
- Mom, do we have to talk about this now? - Yes, we have to!
The child has a cast on her arm! How could you be so irresponsible?
- Mom, please. - Don't "Mom, please" me!
It was your responsibility to stop this, to make sure that...
I gave him the keys! I told him to drive.
He wanted to drive back to Luke's, and I said no.
I wanted to keep on driving. That's when we got into the accident.
This is just as much my fault, as it is his. Maybe more.
I've got this, Mom. Can I see you in the hall for a second?
- What the hell was that? - I'm sick of this!
I'm sick of everyone treating me like I'm a mindless idiot...
- led around by a guy. - No one is treating you like that.
Everyone is. The whole town is. Taylor, Babette, Dean.
Everyone, including you, is refusing to believe...
I was as responsible for what happened as Jess was.
Really? Were you driving the car?
- No. - Then you weren't as responsible.
What if it was Dean? What if Dean had been driving?
Would everyone assume it was his fault?
No, because Dean wouldn't have been in an accident.
Dean is a much more responsible kid who loves you...
and would drive more responsibly.
- How do you know that Jess wasn't? - Hi. It's Jess!
Right, Jess is the Anti-Christ, I forgot. He wanted to get into an accident.
He's a murderer with a death wish and he wanted to kill us both, right?
I know you think that Jess is your friend, but he's not.
He is a completely out-of-control, really angry kid...
who has no respect for Luke, who has no respect for me...
- It was an accident! - And he was driving!
No matter what, you're going to choose to blame Jess?
- Yes, I choose to blame Jess. - Because you hate him?
That's right. I'm sorry. When my daughter comes home broken...
I get to hate the guy who broke her. That's how it works. He's gone. I win.
You are wearing a cast, and I get to hate him forever.
- Fine! - Fine!
I just had this image of 35 businessmen, six servers, one point man...
all leaning against that wall with glasses to their ears.
- I don't think they needed the glasses. - We've got good lungs, you and I.
We'll never agree on this.
- You have to understand. - I do.
- I don't want to fight about this anymore. - Neither do I.
- Do you want to go back inside? - No, I want to go home.
My wrist hurts and I'm grumpy.
I just made a total idiot of myself so I want to go home.
- All right, I'll tell Mom. I'll drive you. - No, it's okay.
It's still early. I can catch my regular bus. You go back in.
- Rory... - I just want some alone time now.
- You sure? - Yeah. I'll see you back at home.
It's after 6:00. We're closed!
- Five more minutes? - Nope. Now!
- So, you're from New York? - Yes, I am.
- I want to go to New York some day. - Good for you!
- Did you like it? - It was all right.
- What part of New York did you live in? - What's your name?
- Lane Kim. - Very nice to meet you, Lane Kim.
You have got to get out of here because I am closing...
and you are not going to schmooze me into forgetting that I'm closing.
- Wait! - What?
- I have to have those drums! - Great! Cash or credit?
No, I have no money.
Even if I did, I couldn't take those home with me...
because my mother would never stop crying. So I have a proposal.
Twice a week on Wednesday and Friday nights at 6:00...
- I could come and practice here. - Wow, that sounds great.
I'm not expecting you to let me do this for free.
I'll clean or do inventory, or stock stuff, or whatever it is you need done.
I don't need that much done.
I can do other things, also, like... Hey, do you know Korean?
- No! - Then I could teach you.
- Why would I want to learn Korean? - It's an interesting language!
Being bilingual in this day and age can only be a plus.
- Please, go home! - I can't go home until you say yes!
I have to rock. Please, I'm so begging you! Let me rock.
- Why Wednesdays and Fridays? - That's when my mom has her Bible group.
- Okay, let's see what you got. - Really? Oh, my God, thank you!
- Can I hit them this time? - Go ahead.
Yes!
One, two, three, four!
I'll be in the back in case the cops come.
Do you mind turning off the lights on your way out?
My mom sometimes walks home this way.
[Drumbeats]
Hey. You back?
- I'm back. - You catch anything?
No, apparently the fish went fishing also.
- Too bad. - Yeah, well.
- So, that's the... - Yeah.
- Does it hurt? - No, not really. Just itches a little.
Yeah, I can imagine. Make sure you don't use a pencil.
- Excuse me? - Your arm, you know, when it itches?
I broke my arm once. Itching drove me crazy.
Grabbed a pencil, shoved it down the cast to scratch.
- Bad results? - Bad results.
- Got it. No pencils, I promise. - Good.
- So, you want some coffee? - Sure.
Where's your mom tonight?
- At a party for my grandpa. - Sounds nice.
Grab yourself a doughnut.
So, have you heard from him?
No, I talked to his mom, though. He got home okay.
- That's good. - Yeah, good.
- What about his stuff? - I'm gonna send it.
Right. Makes sense.
- Luke? - Yeah?
- It wasn't his fault. - I know it wasn't.