1 00:00:02,109 --> 00:00:03,460 Here you go. 2 00:00:03,940 --> 00:00:05,258 [Drilling] 3 00:00:05,481 --> 00:00:07,548 Jeez! Sorry, folks. 4 00:00:08,228 --> 00:00:09,261 Here. 5 00:00:09,435 --> 00:00:12,309 There we go. Free coffee all around. 6 00:00:13,223 --> 00:00:16,289 Might wanna put your hand over that. There we go. 7 00:00:17,178 --> 00:00:19,131 Tom, what the hell is going on up there? 8 00:00:19,301 --> 00:00:21,334 We're redoing your apartment. What do you think? 9 00:00:21,506 --> 00:00:24,095 The ceiling's falling. I got customers eating dry wall here. 10 00:00:24,296 --> 00:00:26,760 - That can't be good. - You said minimal disruptions. 11 00:00:26,959 --> 00:00:30,184 This is minimal disruptions. I need you to sign this change order. 12 00:00:30,415 --> 00:00:32,481 - What happened now? - We broke through this wall... 13 00:00:32,662 --> 00:00:35,092 and found pipes that shouldn't be there. Gotta move them. 14 00:00:35,285 --> 00:00:36,602 - Move them where? - Not sure. 15 00:00:36,742 --> 00:00:39,013 - We gotta find out what they do first. - You're kidding. 16 00:00:39,197 --> 00:00:42,149 Yeah, there's nothing I like more than a good moving-a-pipe joke. 17 00:00:42,361 --> 00:00:44,268 Fine. One more week. That's it. 18 00:00:44,443 --> 00:00:46,714 Oh, sure, construction ultimatum. 19 00:00:47,231 --> 00:00:50,058 That's even funnier than my moving-a-pipe joke. 20 00:00:52,851 --> 00:00:55,883 - Jeez, look at this place. It's a mess. - How long... 21 00:00:56,097 --> 00:00:57,529 - No, can't sit here. - Why not? 22 00:00:57,679 --> 00:00:59,746 Three people got nailed in the head here earlier. 23 00:00:59,927 --> 00:01:01,776 - Their food was okay, right? - Will you just move? 24 00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:02,798 [Cell phone ringing] 25 00:01:02,924 --> 00:01:03,957 Outside. 26 00:01:04,089 --> 00:01:07,916 You know, if I sit here one more second, I just might be outside. 27 00:01:09,209 --> 00:01:10,958 Order me some coffee. 28 00:01:14,787 --> 00:01:18,330 You are really funny. You and Tom should put an act together. 29 00:01:19,199 --> 00:01:20,789 I'd leave it open. 30 00:01:23,153 --> 00:01:24,511 Go ahead, Mom. I can hear you now. 31 00:01:24,652 --> 00:01:26,844 I wanted to know if you'd like a gift certificate... 32 00:01:27,025 --> 00:01:30,091 - for a weekend at the Birchgrove Spa. - Are you serious? 33 00:01:30,313 --> 00:01:32,982 I bid on it at the DAR Symphony Fundraiser, and I won. 34 00:01:33,185 --> 00:01:35,933 It's supposed to be an amazing place. Why don't you go? 35 00:01:36,141 --> 00:01:38,491 I've never had any real desire to go to a spa. 36 00:01:38,681 --> 00:01:41,588 - Why did you bid on it? - For charity. I had to bid on something. 37 00:01:41,802 --> 00:01:44,516 I certainly didn't want another portrait of George Washington. 38 00:01:44,715 --> 00:01:46,147 I've got four in the attic already. 39 00:01:46,297 --> 00:01:47,932 - I'd love it. - Good. 40 00:01:48,546 --> 00:01:50,817 Two days of total mind-numbing pampering. 41 00:01:51,001 --> 00:01:52,829 Massages, facials, aromatherapy. 42 00:01:52,999 --> 00:01:54,509 You make it sound like heaven. 43 00:01:54,665 --> 00:01:57,333 - Closest you'll ever come to being a dog. - I beg your pardon? 44 00:01:57,537 --> 00:02:00,172 You know, a whole life of nothing but eating, sleeping... 45 00:02:00,367 --> 00:02:02,082 lying on your back and getting rubbed. 46 00:02:02,241 --> 00:02:04,194 - I'd love the comparison to stop there. - Deal. 47 00:02:04,363 --> 00:02:06,430 - When's it for? - This weekend, actually. 48 00:02:06,611 --> 00:02:08,281 Well, I'll be there. 49 00:02:08,692 --> 00:02:10,326 - So will I. - Excuse me? 50 00:02:10,482 --> 00:02:11,913 The certificate is for two. 51 00:02:12,064 --> 00:02:14,778 Since it sounds like the most wonderful place in the world... 52 00:02:14,977 --> 00:02:16,567 I might as well try it with you. 53 00:02:16,726 --> 00:02:17,100 But... 54 00:02:17,112 --> 00:02:19,235 That's all right, isn't it, if I join you? 55 00:02:19,431 --> 00:02:20,862 You don't mind? 56 00:02:21,013 --> 00:02:23,443 - No, I don't mind at all. - Wonderful. 57 00:02:23,636 --> 00:02:25,509 I'll pick you up tomorrow morning. 58 00:02:25,675 --> 00:02:27,548 I'm actually looking forward to this. 59 00:02:27,715 --> 00:02:30,462 Oh, yeah, me, too. Thanks, Mom. 60 00:02:31,253 --> 00:02:32,399 Bye-bye. 61 00:02:37,164 --> 00:02:39,469 I'm going to a spa with my mother. 62 00:02:40,535 --> 00:02:41,931 Lean forward. 63 00:03:44,180 --> 00:03:46,167 LORELAI: So, then we're all confirmed. 64 00:03:46,595 --> 00:03:49,059 Great. Thanks so much for your help. 65 00:03:49,467 --> 00:03:50,693 Okay. Bye. 66 00:03:50,924 --> 00:03:53,308 - Yes. - That was an evil "yes." 67 00:03:53,505 --> 00:03:54,822 Not an evil "yes." 68 00:03:54,962 --> 00:03:58,425 It's a "Yes, I'm pretty, but, hello, I'm smart" kind of a "yes." 69 00:03:58,667 --> 00:03:59,699 My mistake. 70 00:03:59,832 --> 00:04:01,944 So here's the deal. I go into my facial... 71 00:04:02,122 --> 00:04:04,233 just as my mother is finishing her Salt Glow... 72 00:04:04,411 --> 00:04:07,125 which'll end 10 minutes after I've hit my scalp treatment... 73 00:04:07,324 --> 00:04:10,709 which puts me in the Watsu massage pool six minutes into her back facial. 74 00:04:10,946 --> 00:04:13,694 The day is so well planned, I won't see her until dinner... 75 00:04:13,901 --> 00:04:16,729 which'll be cut short by the food poisoning I plan to contract. 76 00:04:16,940 --> 00:04:19,609 - You are 12 and disgusting. - I am trapped and desperate. 77 00:04:19,812 --> 00:04:22,367 You really think you can avoid Grandma the entire weekend? 78 00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:24,706 I'm nothing if not a great organizer. 79 00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:27,399 Now, let's talk about what you're gonna do tonight. 80 00:04:27,596 --> 00:04:29,469 Throwing a party, I hope. 81 00:04:29,636 --> 00:04:32,906 Inviting hundreds of bikers and lowlifes who are gonna trash the place. 82 00:04:33,132 --> 00:04:36,720 I am going to do laundry, watch TV, order Indian food, and go to bed early. 83 00:04:36,962 --> 00:04:40,028 And then come the bikers and lowlifes who are gonna trash the place? 84 00:04:40,251 --> 00:04:42,635 I may even fall asleep on the couch with the TV on. 85 00:04:42,831 --> 00:04:45,181 When do the bikers and lowlifes get to trash the place? 86 00:04:45,370 --> 00:04:46,438 You're all packed. 87 00:04:46,577 --> 00:04:49,212 You have to do something bad when Mommy's out of town. 88 00:04:49,407 --> 00:04:52,076 It's the law. You've seen Risky Business, right? 89 00:04:52,280 --> 00:04:54,585 Now, I'm not asking for a prostitution ring... 90 00:04:54,778 --> 00:04:57,287 but how about a floating craps game or something? 91 00:04:57,483 --> 00:04:59,992 - I'll see what I can do. - I'd greatly appreciate it. 92 00:05:00,189 --> 00:05:01,222 [Horn honking] 93 00:05:01,355 --> 00:05:02,547 I think Grandma's here. 94 00:05:02,686 --> 00:05:05,195 What's she honking for? She hates honking. 95 00:05:05,392 --> 00:05:08,105 She calls it a mechanical bodily function. 96 00:05:09,430 --> 00:05:10,542 Jeez. 97 00:05:13,051 --> 00:05:14,084 Cool! 98 00:05:14,841 --> 00:05:16,475 Hello, hello, hello. 99 00:05:16,631 --> 00:05:17,949 What are we, going to the prom? 100 00:05:18,087 --> 00:05:20,642 I just thought since this weekend is all about relaxing... 101 00:05:20,835 --> 00:05:22,186 we should start with the ride. 102 00:05:22,334 --> 00:05:24,321 - This is cool, Grandma. - Thank you, Rory. 103 00:05:24,499 --> 00:05:27,769 - So are we all ready to go? - I guess so, Miss Daisy. 104 00:05:27,995 --> 00:05:29,629 - Bye, sweets. - Bye. 105 00:05:29,868 --> 00:05:31,935 - Bye, Grandma. - Goodbye, Rory. 106 00:05:32,115 --> 00:05:33,625 Have a good time. 107 00:05:33,781 --> 00:05:35,927 - Bikers and lowlifes. - I'll get right on it. 108 00:05:38,151 --> 00:05:41,853 In general, the lab reports weren't bad, but they weren't great either... 109 00:05:42,105 --> 00:05:43,581 which leads me to question... 110 00:05:43,729 --> 00:05:47,431 whether everyone has the grasp on electrochemistry I'd prefer... 111 00:05:47,683 --> 00:05:49,035 before we move on. 112 00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:52,248 To that end, I will be giving another test on Tuesday... 113 00:05:52,471 --> 00:05:55,695 covering Chapters 14 through 18 in your textbooks... 114 00:05:56,133 --> 00:05:58,405 as well as the material from lab. 115 00:05:58,881 --> 00:06:01,947 Now please proceed with the assignment we all started yesterday... 116 00:06:02,169 --> 00:06:04,917 as that, too, will be included on the test. 117 00:06:11,826 --> 00:06:13,302 - Madeline. - What? 118 00:06:13,450 --> 00:06:15,721 - What are you guys doing tonight? - It's Friday night. 119 00:06:15,905 --> 00:06:17,699 - So, you've got dates? - Yeah, why? 120 00:06:17,862 --> 00:06:19,691 I was hoping you could study with me. 121 00:06:19,860 --> 00:06:21,211 - On a Friday night? - Yes. 122 00:06:21,358 --> 00:06:23,265 - We've got dates. - What is she saying? 123 00:06:23,440 --> 00:06:25,790 - She wants us to study with her. - On a Friday night? 124 00:06:25,979 --> 00:06:27,250 - Yeah. - But we've got dates. 125 00:06:27,394 --> 00:06:29,461 I know. I was hoping maybe you'd cancel them. 126 00:06:29,642 --> 00:06:30,675 - To study? - Yes. 127 00:06:30,807 --> 00:06:32,874 - On a Friday night? - What did she say? 128 00:06:33,055 --> 00:06:35,088 She wants us to cancel our dates to study. 129 00:06:35,261 --> 00:06:37,612 - On a Friday night? - That's what she said. 130 00:06:37,967 --> 00:06:40,476 - But we have... - Oh, my God. Forget it! 131 00:06:43,961 --> 00:06:47,073 So I suppose that you have big Friday night plans also? 132 00:06:47,292 --> 00:06:48,359 Kind of. 133 00:06:48,498 --> 00:06:51,087 The fact that I'm seeing my entire Harvard career slip away... 134 00:06:51,288 --> 00:06:54,115 - is of no interest to anyone? - What are you talking about? 135 00:06:54,326 --> 00:06:56,313 - I got an A-minus, okay? - So? 136 00:06:56,490 --> 00:06:57,717 What do you mean "so"? 137 00:06:57,863 --> 00:07:00,418 I got an A-minus. I have never gotten an A-minus. 138 00:07:00,611 --> 00:07:03,802 I just can't focus lately. Things are so weird at my house. 139 00:07:04,024 --> 00:07:07,329 My dad figured out exactly how much it'd cost him to divorce my mom. 140 00:07:07,563 --> 00:07:08,710 So now he's back. 141 00:07:08,853 --> 00:07:11,600 It's bad enough I wasted time crunching the numbers with him... 142 00:07:11,809 --> 00:07:14,954 but now that he's back, they're fighting and redecorating. It's a mess. 143 00:07:15,180 --> 00:07:16,373 I need help. 144 00:07:16,595 --> 00:07:18,105 Look, I can't tonight... 145 00:07:18,261 --> 00:07:20,974 but if you're still freaked out after the quiz on Tuesday... 146 00:07:21,174 --> 00:07:24,523 I will spend every day next week helping you prepare for the final, okay? 147 00:07:24,754 --> 00:07:26,185 - I guess. - Relax. 148 00:07:26,419 --> 00:07:28,372 It will be fine. I promise. 149 00:07:28,542 --> 00:07:33,084 All I had to do was move a decimal point, and none of this would have happened. 150 00:07:34,577 --> 00:07:36,962 Look at this place. It's lovely. 151 00:07:37,616 --> 00:07:39,808 And that smell. What is that? Eucalyptus? 152 00:07:39,989 --> 00:07:42,134 - I don't know. - Well, it's lovely. 153 00:07:42,320 --> 00:07:44,432 Lorelai, come over here. Look. 154 00:07:44,734 --> 00:07:47,289 - They have cucumber slices in the water. - Wow. 155 00:07:47,482 --> 00:07:50,752 If they have ranch dressing in the soap dispensers, this place is great. 156 00:07:50,978 --> 00:07:52,488 You know what? I love it here. 157 00:07:52,643 --> 00:07:54,869 Careful. That's how they get you in the Moonies. 158 00:07:55,057 --> 00:07:57,090 I feel more relaxed already. 159 00:07:57,721 --> 00:07:58,754 Mmmm... 160 00:07:58,887 --> 00:08:01,158 That's the most delicious water I've had. Have a sip. 161 00:08:01,343 --> 00:08:03,807 - Let's just check in, shall we? - Okay. 162 00:08:04,756 --> 00:08:08,265 Hello. I'm Emily Gilmore. This is my daughter Lorelai. 163 00:08:08,503 --> 00:08:11,137 Yes, welcome to Birchgrove. My name is Bobby. 164 00:08:11,333 --> 00:08:13,082 I have everything all set for you. 165 00:08:13,247 --> 00:08:15,598 - Any luggage? - It's in the Luca Brasi-mobile out front. 166 00:08:15,787 --> 00:08:17,694 We can take care of that for you. 167 00:08:17,868 --> 00:08:21,854 Here are your room keys and a copy of all of your spa activities. 168 00:08:22,114 --> 00:08:23,862 You ladies are booked solid, I see. 169 00:08:24,029 --> 00:08:26,493 We intend to leave here completely different people. 170 00:08:26,692 --> 00:08:28,918 Yes, I'm going to be Ted Nugent. 171 00:08:29,149 --> 00:08:31,374 Anyhow, your rooms are right down this hall. 172 00:08:31,563 --> 00:08:33,868 Fruit and yogurt is served by the pool in the mornings. 173 00:08:34,061 --> 00:08:36,094 Lunch and dinner seatings are on that itinerary. 174 00:08:36,266 --> 00:08:37,459 - Any questions? - Yes. 175 00:08:37,599 --> 00:08:39,744 Where can one get a cup of coffee around here? 176 00:08:39,929 --> 00:08:42,121 We don't serve anything with caffeine here. 177 00:08:42,302 --> 00:08:44,255 And you think that's safe? 178 00:08:44,508 --> 00:08:47,540 Thank you. We're sure we're going to have a wonderful time. 179 00:08:47,755 --> 00:08:49,073 Mom, there's no coffee. 180 00:08:49,212 --> 00:08:51,766 It won't kill you to go two days without coffee. 181 00:08:51,959 --> 00:08:53,276 No, I think it will. 182 00:08:53,416 --> 00:08:55,767 Just focus on all the pampering we're going to have. 183 00:08:55,955 --> 00:08:58,227 Look at all the things we have to look forward to. 184 00:08:58,411 --> 00:08:59,444 - Oh, no. - What? 185 00:08:59,577 --> 00:09:02,370 I'll be right back. They screwed up our appointments. 186 00:09:02,574 --> 00:09:04,368 - Again? - What do you mean, "again"? 187 00:09:04,530 --> 00:09:07,721 On the way to your house, I called to confirm our schedule and found... 188 00:09:07,943 --> 00:09:10,578 they had booked us separately for every one of our treatments. 189 00:09:10,774 --> 00:09:14,317 I insisted on speaking to a manager and was able to straighten everything out. 190 00:09:14,562 --> 00:09:16,197 - Yes, those are right. - They are? 191 00:09:16,351 --> 00:09:18,986 I had them move the pedicure tubs together in the same room... 192 00:09:19,182 --> 00:09:22,168 - so we can talk during it. - I'm really gonna need a cup of coffee. 193 00:09:22,387 --> 00:09:24,976 - Have some cucumber water. - No, that's not gonna do it... 194 00:09:25,176 --> 00:09:27,083 - Drink, Lorelai. - Cucumber water. Yuck. 195 00:09:36,790 --> 00:09:39,140 RORY: Well, your lung capacity certainly has improved. 196 00:09:39,329 --> 00:09:41,793 Well, I've been playing a lot more basketball lately. 197 00:09:41,993 --> 00:09:46,058 Yet another reason to continue the fight to keep physical education in schools. 198 00:09:47,238 --> 00:09:48,908 - So, tonight... - Yes? 199 00:09:49,152 --> 00:09:50,708 - I was thinking... - Yes? 200 00:09:50,859 --> 00:09:54,322 Since your mother's going to be gone, maybe I'd come over. 201 00:09:55,188 --> 00:09:56,221 What? 202 00:09:56,354 --> 00:09:59,147 I was thinking of pulling kind of a hermit thing tonight. 203 00:09:59,351 --> 00:10:00,543 - Why? - I don't know. 204 00:10:00,683 --> 00:10:02,239 J.D. Salinger seems to dig it. 205 00:10:02,390 --> 00:10:04,535 - You don't want me to come over? - No, I just... 206 00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:08,263 I almost never get the house all to myself, and I thought with my mom gone... 207 00:10:08,509 --> 00:10:10,893 I can finally do my laundry exactly the way I like it. 208 00:10:11,089 --> 00:10:13,997 Not separating into whites and colors, but the colors separated... 209 00:10:14,211 --> 00:10:15,529 into darks, mediums, and lights. 210 00:10:15,668 --> 00:10:17,417 With a separate pile for white T-shirts... 211 00:10:17,582 --> 00:10:19,020 and T-shirts with writing on them... 212 00:10:19,164 --> 00:10:21,072 like "Rock Star," "Evil," or "Kafka Was Here." 213 00:10:21,246 --> 00:10:22,836 You want to be alone to do laundry? 214 00:10:22,994 --> 00:10:26,900 And watch TV, and eat the Indian food I love but my mom hates the smell of... 215 00:10:27,156 --> 00:10:30,464 and go to bed early, and... Are you mad? 216 00:10:30,612 --> 00:10:33,723 Why would I be mad? You want to spend tonight alone. 217 00:10:33,942 --> 00:10:37,054 But tomorrow, the whole day is all about you. 218 00:10:37,522 --> 00:10:39,156 I mean it. From morning till night. 219 00:10:39,311 --> 00:10:40,583 You plan it, or I'll plan it... 220 00:10:40,726 --> 00:10:43,361 or we can get a professional to plan it, whatever you want. 221 00:10:43,557 --> 00:10:45,590 - Just don't be mad. - I'm not. 222 00:10:46,845 --> 00:10:48,072 [Sighing] 223 00:10:48,219 --> 00:10:49,889 - I'm not mad. - Good. 224 00:10:50,217 --> 00:10:53,125 - I'm confused, but I'm not mad. - Fine. 225 00:10:53,589 --> 00:10:55,701 I'm a saint, but I'm not mad. 226 00:10:55,878 --> 00:10:57,865 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 227 00:10:58,584 --> 00:11:00,775 So, deep breath, and... 228 00:11:09,281 --> 00:11:10,951 [Knocking on door] 229 00:11:15,276 --> 00:11:17,024 [Knocking continues] 230 00:11:23,726 --> 00:11:26,360 - How do I look? - Like a landlady. What is this? 231 00:11:26,556 --> 00:11:27,554 I got adjoining rooms. 232 00:11:27,680 --> 00:11:29,871 We don't have to go out in the hall to see each other. 233 00:11:30,053 --> 00:11:31,086 Great thinking. 234 00:11:31,218 --> 00:11:34,091 God, this robe is fabulous. How do they get it so soft? 235 00:11:34,299 --> 00:11:37,331 Having about 40 other people wear it first is part of the secret. 236 00:11:37,545 --> 00:11:39,452 Stop it. So are you all ready... 237 00:11:39,626 --> 00:11:43,452 for our skin-rejuvenating and revitalizing collagen facial and eye treatment? 238 00:11:43,706 --> 00:11:44,819 Almost. 239 00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:47,184 It has vitamin C and plant extracts in it... 240 00:11:47,369 --> 00:11:49,674 which is the hottest thing in skincare these days. 241 00:11:49,867 --> 00:11:52,138 The eye treatment is supposed to reduce puffiness... 242 00:11:52,323 --> 00:11:54,514 and minimize the appearance of fine lines. 243 00:11:54,695 --> 00:11:56,365 Okay, no more brochures for you. 244 00:11:56,526 --> 00:11:57,753 I'm ready. Let's go. 245 00:11:57,900 --> 00:11:59,417 - Aren't you wearing your robe? - What? 246 00:11:59,523 --> 00:12:00,875 You're supposed to wear a robe. 247 00:12:01,022 --> 00:12:02,692 They'll give me one when I get there. 248 00:12:02,854 --> 00:12:04,682 - But these robes are wonderful. - Mom. 249 00:12:04,852 --> 00:12:05,885 They help you relax. 250 00:12:06,017 --> 00:12:08,686 - We're late, Mom. - They're wonderful, relaxing robes. 251 00:12:08,889 --> 00:12:10,523 - Oh, my God. - Yet you stand there... 252 00:12:10,679 --> 00:12:14,108 like it's some badge of honor not to put on your robe like everyone else. 253 00:12:14,342 --> 00:12:16,533 This isn't for me, you know. It's for you. 254 00:12:16,715 --> 00:12:19,667 I already have on my robe. I am already relaxed. 255 00:12:21,751 --> 00:12:24,340 - What are you doing? - You're kidding me, right? 256 00:12:24,540 --> 00:12:27,129 Well, hurry up. We're going to be late. 257 00:12:28,786 --> 00:12:29,899 Happy? 258 00:12:30,243 --> 00:12:33,275 Apparently, you didn't see the matching slippers. 259 00:12:36,820 --> 00:12:39,091 So, how are we doing? 260 00:12:39,484 --> 00:12:40,880 - So good. - Okay. 261 00:12:41,024 --> 00:12:44,214 I'm gonna leave you to sit for a few minutes, so relax and enjoy... 262 00:12:44,437 --> 00:12:46,628 - and I'll be right back. - Thanks. 263 00:13:08,746 --> 00:13:11,415 - Are your feet sweating? - Mom? 264 00:13:11,952 --> 00:13:14,984 Those booties make my feet sweat. Don't they make your feet sweat? 265 00:13:15,199 --> 00:13:17,072 What are you doing in my room? 266 00:13:17,238 --> 00:13:20,623 Magda left me sitting for 20 minutes. Fine time to take a coffee break. 267 00:13:20,859 --> 00:13:22,574 She's not taking a coffee break. 268 00:13:22,733 --> 00:13:25,844 Your skin is supposed to be absorbing the moisture in your mask. 269 00:13:26,063 --> 00:13:27,459 In your room. 270 00:13:28,352 --> 00:13:31,260 Let's see what's next on our agenda, shall we? 271 00:13:32,098 --> 00:13:35,164 Stop moving, Lorelai. You'll electrocute yourself. 272 00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:37,514 The Egyptian mud bath. 273 00:13:38,300 --> 00:13:41,366 I wonder if a mud bath is one of those things you see in brochures... 274 00:13:41,589 --> 00:13:45,540 where they wrap you in towels like you're in a cocoon of some sort. 275 00:13:45,959 --> 00:13:47,629 That might be nice. 276 00:13:47,792 --> 00:13:50,346 Especially if their towels are as good as their robes. 277 00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:52,764 Because I just love these robes. 278 00:13:54,327 --> 00:13:55,837 Wonder where they get these robes. 279 00:13:55,991 --> 00:13:57,786 Shouldn't be hard to find the manufacturer. 280 00:13:57,947 --> 00:14:00,582 I could order a few of them. For me, you, and Rory. 281 00:14:00,779 --> 00:14:03,243 EMILY: I still can't get over it. It really was mud. 282 00:14:03,442 --> 00:14:04,918 I mean, I know it said mud bath... 283 00:14:05,066 --> 00:14:07,338 but I didn't really think they meant a real mud bath. 284 00:14:07,521 --> 00:14:10,076 The odd thing is, I should've been more repulsed by it. 285 00:14:10,269 --> 00:14:13,016 Sitting in a tub of hot dirt, which is basically what mud is... 286 00:14:13,224 --> 00:14:16,131 should have made me ill, and yet, I really enjoyed it. 287 00:14:16,346 --> 00:14:18,333 Did yours have twigs? Mine had twigs. 288 00:14:18,510 --> 00:14:20,384 When I asked the woman about them... 289 00:14:20,550 --> 00:14:24,173 she told me they were there because of the healing qualities. 290 00:14:27,501 --> 00:14:30,886 What are you doing? Lorelai, stop it! You're pushing me. 291 00:14:39,573 --> 00:14:41,765 MASSEUR: How's the pressure? Too much? 292 00:14:44,901 --> 00:14:47,774 LORELAI: Yep. MASSEUR: Sorry. I'll go lighter. 293 00:14:48,315 --> 00:14:50,109 Your hands are amazing. 294 00:14:50,271 --> 00:14:52,463 Compliment your masseur's hands, Lorelai. 295 00:14:52,643 --> 00:14:53,870 Oh, my God. 296 00:14:54,018 --> 00:14:55,652 - Excuse me? - Nothing. 297 00:14:55,807 --> 00:14:57,635 You were muttering under your breath. 298 00:14:57,805 --> 00:15:00,553 Years of experience have taught me that when you do that... 299 00:15:00,760 --> 00:15:02,270 it's usually about me. 300 00:15:03,757 --> 00:15:06,551 Mom, you signed us up for a couple's massage. 301 00:15:06,754 --> 00:15:09,184 - So? - A couple's massage is for a couple... 302 00:15:09,377 --> 00:15:10,773 not a couple of people. 303 00:15:10,917 --> 00:15:13,586 It's more efficient this way. We finish at the same time. 304 00:15:13,789 --> 00:15:16,173 Do you know what most people who get these massages do... 305 00:15:16,370 --> 00:15:19,118 about five minutes after it's over? They have sex, together... 306 00:15:19,325 --> 00:15:21,709 probably while wearing their robes. 307 00:15:21,906 --> 00:15:25,688 Could the two of you excuse us for a moment, please? Thank you. 308 00:15:28,525 --> 00:15:31,080 - Well, that was appalling. - Well, that was true. 309 00:15:31,272 --> 00:15:33,259 You're determined to spoil this, aren't you? 310 00:15:33,436 --> 00:15:35,343 Why, because I want a quiet, private massage? 311 00:15:35,518 --> 00:15:37,789 You've been pouting and sulking and sighing... 312 00:15:37,974 --> 00:15:40,609 - I haven't been sighing. - Rolling your eyes, mumbling. 313 00:15:40,804 --> 00:15:41,997 That's how I detox. 314 00:15:42,136 --> 00:15:45,043 You've made it your mission to be as miserable as possible. 315 00:15:45,259 --> 00:15:46,895 - That's not true. - It's completely true. 316 00:15:46,965 --> 00:15:48,918 If you don't care about hurting my feelings... 317 00:15:49,088 --> 00:15:51,677 maybe you care that you're wasting all your relaxing time... 318 00:15:51,876 --> 00:15:54,182 acting like a petulant 4-year-old. 319 00:15:55,956 --> 00:15:57,228 I'm sorry. 320 00:15:57,496 --> 00:16:00,131 Do you want me to try to get myself another room? 321 00:16:00,326 --> 00:16:01,359 No. 322 00:16:01,492 --> 00:16:03,207 I saw a supply closet down the hall. 323 00:16:03,365 --> 00:16:05,080 Maybe my masseur could finish me in there. 324 00:16:05,239 --> 00:16:06,272 Okay, Mom. 325 00:16:06,403 --> 00:16:08,992 Or perhaps I could roll myself against a stucco wall... 326 00:16:09,193 --> 00:16:11,226 eliminate the need for a masseur altogether. 327 00:16:11,398 --> 00:16:13,193 Lie down, Mom, please. 328 00:16:14,021 --> 00:16:15,497 If you say so. 329 00:16:19,682 --> 00:16:21,907 - Lorelai? - Yes, Mom. 330 00:16:22,388 --> 00:16:24,738 Would you go get the boys, please? 331 00:16:27,175 --> 00:16:28,173 [Sighs] 332 00:16:34,418 --> 00:16:38,846 No, that's two orders of garlic nan, three samosas, and a chicken vindaloo. 333 00:16:39,121 --> 00:16:42,823 And rice. And the green sauce. And no salad. And... 334 00:16:43,326 --> 00:16:45,881 Oh, wait. Sorry, can you hold on a sec? 335 00:16:46,073 --> 00:16:48,026 - Hello? - Hi. This is Phil's Liquor. 336 00:16:48,196 --> 00:16:50,183 I'm supposed to deliver a keg there tonight. 337 00:16:50,360 --> 00:16:51,552 Hold on. 338 00:16:52,233 --> 00:16:54,345 Hi. Sorry. Yeah, that's it. 339 00:16:55,105 --> 00:16:57,013 Forty minutes. Great. Bye. 340 00:16:57,644 --> 00:16:58,677 Hey. 341 00:16:58,810 --> 00:17:00,241 - Who was that? - Sandeep's. 342 00:17:00,392 --> 00:17:02,345 You're ordering the Indian food. 343 00:17:02,515 --> 00:17:03,513 - Yep. - Good, enjoy. 344 00:17:03,638 --> 00:17:06,512 Burn the house down after. It's the only way to get the smell out. 345 00:17:06,719 --> 00:17:08,434 - Absolutely. How's the spa? - Tranquil. 346 00:17:08,592 --> 00:17:09,910 - Really? - I wasn't done. 347 00:17:10,050 --> 00:17:12,241 Tranquilizers will be required... 348 00:17:12,422 --> 00:17:14,489 if I have to spend one more minute with my mother. 349 00:17:14,669 --> 00:17:16,577 Tell me you're trying to get along with her. 350 00:17:16,751 --> 00:17:18,307 - I'm being a peach. - Really? 351 00:17:18,458 --> 00:17:20,445 Well, I smell like a peach. 352 00:17:20,830 --> 00:17:22,783 - Was that the doorbell? - Yeah. Call you later. 353 00:17:22,953 --> 00:17:24,270 Wait. I wanna find out who it is. 354 00:17:24,410 --> 00:17:27,283 The sooner you get back to your weekend, the sooner it'll be over. 355 00:17:27,490 --> 00:17:30,556 Can you get out my address book and count how many friends I have? 356 00:17:30,778 --> 00:17:32,005 - Bye. - Mean. 357 00:17:32,152 --> 00:17:33,584 RORY: Steal me soap. 358 00:17:34,858 --> 00:17:35,856 Paris, what... 359 00:17:35,982 --> 00:17:38,049 I tried to stay home and study myself, but I can't. 360 00:17:38,229 --> 00:17:39,547 I don't know what anything means. 361 00:17:39,686 --> 00:17:42,037 I can't even read my own handwriting. What does this say? 362 00:17:42,225 --> 00:17:44,497 Whoever wrote this should be dressed in a clown suit... 363 00:17:44,682 --> 00:17:46,351 stuffing bodies under their porch. 364 00:17:46,513 --> 00:17:48,261 - You're in your pajamas. - I know. 365 00:17:48,428 --> 00:17:51,255 This was the big night you planned? A rendezvous with Mr. Peanut? 366 00:17:51,466 --> 00:17:52,897 - Well, I... - You're doing laundry. 367 00:17:53,048 --> 00:17:55,115 - Yes. - You're doing laundry in your pajamas. 368 00:17:55,296 --> 00:17:57,965 My mom's out of town, and I never get the house all to myself. 369 00:17:58,168 --> 00:18:00,279 You never go months without seeing your parents... 370 00:18:00,457 --> 00:18:02,569 getting a postcard that doesn't have a courtesy... 371 00:18:02,747 --> 00:18:04,178 "Wish you were here" written on it? 372 00:18:04,328 --> 00:18:06,168 That sucks. Don't let me stand in the way. 373 00:18:06,180 --> 00:18:06,474 Wait. 374 00:18:06,660 --> 00:18:08,294 No. I don't wanna get in the way. 375 00:18:08,449 --> 00:18:10,402 I hear there'll be some hot knitting going on. 376 00:18:10,573 --> 00:18:12,480 - Fine, I'll study with you. - You will? 377 00:18:12,654 --> 00:18:13,971 For one hour. That's it. 378 00:18:14,111 --> 00:18:17,143 We'll do a quick review and a pop quiz, and then you're going home. 379 00:18:17,357 --> 00:18:18,355 - Deal? - Deal. 380 00:18:18,481 --> 00:18:20,468 Okay. So, go sit on the couch. 381 00:18:20,646 --> 00:18:22,792 - I'll be out in a minute. - Where are you going? 382 00:18:22,977 --> 00:18:24,329 I'm going to go change. 383 00:18:24,475 --> 00:18:28,348 Okay, but my hour doesn't start till you get back out here, right? 384 00:18:32,384 --> 00:18:35,258 - You ready? - Wow, you look great, Mom. 385 00:18:35,464 --> 00:18:38,530 - Are you being sarcastic? - No, I'm being completely serious. 386 00:18:38,753 --> 00:18:40,422 Oh, well, thank you. 387 00:18:41,625 --> 00:18:43,578 That's a pretty color. What is that? 388 00:18:43,748 --> 00:18:46,337 - It's called "Vicious Trollop." - Stop it. 389 00:18:46,912 --> 00:18:49,342 Why would you name a lipstick something like that? 390 00:18:49,534 --> 00:18:51,919 - 'Cause "Dirty Whore" was taken? - You frighten me. 391 00:18:52,114 --> 00:18:53,545 - Wanna try some? - No, thank you. 392 00:18:53,696 --> 00:18:55,683 - Go on, Mom, try it. - It won't look good on me. 393 00:18:55,861 --> 00:18:57,087 Sure it will. 394 00:18:57,235 --> 00:19:01,061 - All right, but if I look ridiculous... - I'll be the first one to point it out. 395 00:19:01,314 --> 00:19:03,301 You're a vicious trollop. 396 00:19:03,479 --> 00:19:04,988 - Lorelai. - Sorry. 397 00:19:05,435 --> 00:19:06,547 Well? 398 00:19:06,683 --> 00:19:08,478 - I like it. - You do? 399 00:19:09,639 --> 00:19:12,546 - I like it, too. - Good, let's go then. I'm starving. 400 00:19:12,761 --> 00:19:15,145 Me, too. What are they serving for dinner tonight? 401 00:19:15,342 --> 00:19:16,852 Well, let's see. 402 00:19:21,086 --> 00:19:22,119 Hmm. 403 00:19:22,251 --> 00:19:24,601 They certainly do like their tofu here, don't they? 404 00:19:24,791 --> 00:19:26,585 And the word "steamed." 405 00:19:27,413 --> 00:19:29,127 Well, they have dessert at least. 406 00:19:29,286 --> 00:19:31,636 Cookies sweetened with sprouted mung bean. 407 00:19:31,825 --> 00:19:34,255 - That sounds dreadful. - Yes, it does. 408 00:19:34,947 --> 00:19:38,059 Where are you going? You're not changing? Our seating's in 10 minutes. 409 00:19:38,277 --> 00:19:39,275 Get your coat. 410 00:19:39,401 --> 00:19:40,838 I don't need it for the dining room. 411 00:19:40,983 --> 00:19:42,811 - We're not going there. - Where are we going? 412 00:19:42,981 --> 00:19:44,049 - Out. - Out where? 413 00:19:44,188 --> 00:19:47,776 We're going to leave the spa, find a restaurant, and have a steak. 414 00:19:48,018 --> 00:19:49,766 - A steak? - Who's gonna stop us? 415 00:19:49,932 --> 00:19:52,759 - A steak. - Come on, Mom. What's it gonna be? 416 00:19:52,971 --> 00:19:55,923 Vicious trollop or the wide world of mung beans? 417 00:19:56,135 --> 00:19:58,326 - Let's go. - I'm right behind you. 418 00:20:00,006 --> 00:20:03,152 Given that those are the reactions occurring in the two half-cells... 419 00:20:03,377 --> 00:20:04,524 what do you do next? 420 00:20:04,668 --> 00:20:06,779 We add them together, doubling the coefficients... 421 00:20:06,957 --> 00:20:08,990 of the silver half equation but not the voltage. 422 00:20:09,164 --> 00:20:11,071 We get the equation for the complete reaction. 423 00:20:11,244 --> 00:20:13,675 You're in much better shape than you wanna think you are. 424 00:20:13,867 --> 00:20:15,139 Impossible. 425 00:20:16,656 --> 00:20:18,213 - Where are you going? - That's my food. 426 00:20:18,362 --> 00:20:21,314 - Another half hour. Please. - No. You got your hour, you need to go. 427 00:20:21,526 --> 00:20:22,639 - But... - Go. 428 00:20:22,774 --> 00:20:23,807 Fine. 429 00:20:24,856 --> 00:20:26,293 - Delivery. - What're you doing here? 430 00:20:26,438 --> 00:20:29,550 Luke figured since you're alone, you wouldn't have food in the house. 431 00:20:29,768 --> 00:20:31,005 So he sent over a care package. 432 00:20:31,142 --> 00:20:33,651 I don't need a care package. I ordered from Sandeep's. 433 00:20:33,847 --> 00:20:35,959 Really? Plan on burning down the house afterwards? 434 00:20:36,137 --> 00:20:37,734 - Jess. - The only way to kill the smell. 435 00:20:37,802 --> 00:20:40,073 Where should I put this? Kitchen? 436 00:20:41,839 --> 00:20:42,952 Sure. 437 00:20:46,543 --> 00:20:49,609 God, how much food is in there? This could feed 12. 438 00:20:49,832 --> 00:20:51,466 Excuse me, I've seen you eat. 439 00:20:51,621 --> 00:20:53,892 - Fine, six. - Well, he wanted you taken care of. 440 00:20:54,077 --> 00:20:56,064 Wasn't sure how long your mom would be gone for. 441 00:20:56,242 --> 00:20:58,070 - Just tonight. - He didn't know that. 442 00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:00,113 - Now you can tell him. - I will. 443 00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:02,108 So, how come Caesar didn't bring this over? 444 00:21:02,278 --> 00:21:04,072 - I volunteered. - Why? 445 00:21:04,234 --> 00:21:06,141 Wanted to get out of the construction zone. 446 00:21:06,315 --> 00:21:08,427 There's nothing but banging and yelling. 447 00:21:08,604 --> 00:21:10,557 Place gives me a headache. 448 00:21:11,394 --> 00:21:14,028 Why, did you think I wanted to come over here and see you? 449 00:21:14,224 --> 00:21:15,780 - No. - I just needed some quiet. 450 00:21:15,931 --> 00:21:16,929 - Fine. - That's all. 451 00:21:17,054 --> 00:21:18,052 - Got it. - Clear my head. 452 00:21:18,178 --> 00:21:19,325 I understand. 453 00:21:19,469 --> 00:21:21,933 - So aren't you gonna eat? - Eventually. 454 00:21:22,132 --> 00:21:24,119 - It gets cold fast. - I can heat it up. 455 00:21:24,297 --> 00:21:26,284 Reheated French fries really suck. 456 00:21:26,462 --> 00:21:27,574 They do suck. 457 00:21:27,710 --> 00:21:29,141 Yeah, so eat. 458 00:21:29,625 --> 00:21:31,056 Okay, I will. 459 00:21:32,456 --> 00:21:35,090 - You're still standing there. - You didn't give me a tip. 460 00:21:35,286 --> 00:21:37,795 - You want money? - No. I'll take a fry, though. 461 00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:40,029 Okay. Yeah. Have as much as you want. 462 00:21:40,198 --> 00:21:41,550 Okay, great. 463 00:21:43,945 --> 00:21:45,058 What are you doing? 464 00:21:45,193 --> 00:21:47,067 - Getting ready to eat. - You're staying? 465 00:21:47,233 --> 00:21:49,379 - Didn't you just invite me? - No, I... 466 00:21:49,564 --> 00:21:52,834 You told me to have all I wanted. That sounded invitation-like. 467 00:21:53,061 --> 00:21:54,934 You want to stay here and eat? 468 00:21:55,100 --> 00:21:56,814 - Beats being at Luke's. - But... 469 00:21:56,973 --> 00:21:58,529 I can't find my flashcards. 470 00:21:58,679 --> 00:22:00,314 I didn't know you had company. 471 00:22:00,470 --> 00:22:02,105 This is Paris. We were just studying. 472 00:22:02,259 --> 00:22:05,291 Don't worry. I was just leaving. If you find my flashcards, call me. 473 00:22:05,507 --> 00:22:06,505 - No. - What? 474 00:22:06,631 --> 00:22:07,743 Stay for dinner. 475 00:22:07,879 --> 00:22:09,707 - But I thought... - We have a ton of food... 476 00:22:09,877 --> 00:22:11,750 and we can go over the notes more later. 477 00:22:11,917 --> 00:22:13,268 - You sure? - Positive. 478 00:22:13,415 --> 00:22:15,164 - Is that mac and cheese? - Sure is. 479 00:22:15,330 --> 00:22:16,920 - I love mac and cheese. - Great. 480 00:22:17,079 --> 00:22:19,463 - I'm not allowed to have mac and cheese. - Splurge. 481 00:22:19,659 --> 00:22:20,930 Come on, Paris, stay. 482 00:22:21,075 --> 00:22:24,265 Do you have a 24-hour pharmacy in case I have an allergic reaction? 483 00:22:24,488 --> 00:22:26,316 - Believe it or not, we do. - Okay. 484 00:22:26,486 --> 00:22:29,233 - Can I borrow your phone? - It's by the door. 485 00:22:29,857 --> 00:22:31,572 - Interesting. - What is? 486 00:22:31,731 --> 00:22:33,842 - You think we need a chaperon? - No, I don't. 487 00:22:34,020 --> 00:22:36,529 - You just invited one. - Just being polite. 488 00:22:36,726 --> 00:22:37,918 Paris is alone tonight... 489 00:22:38,058 --> 00:22:40,125 and you yourself said we have enough food for six. 490 00:22:40,305 --> 00:22:42,531 - With me, it's down to four. - With Paris, it's two. 491 00:22:42,720 --> 00:22:44,468 - Works out well. - I think so. 492 00:22:44,634 --> 00:22:45,985 [Paris speaking Spanish] 493 00:22:52,834 --> 00:22:54,311 [Jazz music playing] 494 00:23:09,152 --> 00:23:10,787 My goodness, look at this place. 495 00:23:10,941 --> 00:23:13,735 I bet there's no cucumber slices in the water here. 496 00:23:13,938 --> 00:23:15,892 - Hi, there. Party of two. - Okay. 497 00:23:16,061 --> 00:23:18,934 I can take your name, but I won't have a table for about an hour. 498 00:23:19,142 --> 00:23:20,812 - An hour? - I can't wait an hour. 499 00:23:20,973 --> 00:23:22,370 - Me neither. - I'll pass out. 500 00:23:22,513 --> 00:23:24,148 Go first. You can break my fall. 501 00:23:24,304 --> 00:23:26,098 - Can we bribe you? - Sorry. 502 00:23:26,260 --> 00:23:28,372 - Please? She's loaded. - Lorelai! 503 00:23:28,549 --> 00:23:30,344 A couple of stools opened up at the bar... 504 00:23:30,505 --> 00:23:31,981 and we serve our entire menu there. 505 00:23:32,129 --> 00:23:33,764 That is a great idea. Thanks. Come on. 506 00:23:33,919 --> 00:23:36,587 - We can't eat dinner at a bar. - I don't wanna wait an hour. 507 00:23:36,791 --> 00:23:38,664 I'm wearing the wrong shoes for a drive-thru. 508 00:23:38,831 --> 00:23:39,829 What'll people think? 509 00:23:39,955 --> 00:23:41,988 That we're loose women with questionable morals. 510 00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:44,874 It's not right to eat dinner when your feet don't touch the floor. 511 00:23:45,074 --> 00:23:47,788 - What can I get you ladies? - Hi, Steve. Nice to meet you. 512 00:23:47,989 --> 00:23:51,054 - We will have two martinis? - Why not? 513 00:23:51,277 --> 00:23:54,309 Two vodka martinis straight up with a twist, very dry, very cold... 514 00:23:54,524 --> 00:23:56,556 - and a couple of menus. - And some peanuts. 515 00:23:56,729 --> 00:23:58,080 Peanuts. Good idea. 516 00:23:58,228 --> 00:23:59,943 Here you go. I'll get your drinks. 517 00:24:00,101 --> 00:24:02,293 LORELAI: Thank you. You're a good man, Steve. 518 00:24:02,474 --> 00:24:06,346 Okay, I'm thinking steak and Caesar salad, if it's not too anchovy-y. 519 00:24:06,594 --> 00:24:08,548 Do you wanna split a shrimp cocktail to start? 520 00:24:08,717 --> 00:24:09,910 That sounds fine. 521 00:24:10,050 --> 00:24:13,399 I just love the idea of shrimp cocktail with a steak dinner, you know? 522 00:24:13,629 --> 00:24:15,775 It's so casino, Big Joe, steak and shrimp. 523 00:24:15,961 --> 00:24:17,278 Save some for winter. 524 00:24:17,417 --> 00:24:19,688 I never realized how wonderful peanuts were before. 525 00:24:19,873 --> 00:24:21,940 STEVE: Want a refill? EMILY: Yes, please. 526 00:24:23,453 --> 00:24:25,599 - Cheers, Mom. - Cheers. 527 00:24:30,779 --> 00:24:33,334 - I must tell you, I never expected this. - What? 528 00:24:33,527 --> 00:24:35,355 Me inhaling peanuts at a singles bar. 529 00:24:35,525 --> 00:24:37,830 This isn't a singles bar, Mom. It's a 60-40 bar. 530 00:24:38,022 --> 00:24:39,090 A what? 531 00:24:39,229 --> 00:24:41,183 60-year-old men hitting on 40-year-old women. 532 00:24:41,352 --> 00:24:42,942 - Divorcées, mostly. - Really? 533 00:24:43,100 --> 00:24:44,371 Look around. 534 00:24:47,762 --> 00:24:50,476 Now, she can do better than that. What does she see in him? 535 00:24:50,676 --> 00:24:53,140 Big will, short life span. The usual draw. 536 00:24:55,255 --> 00:24:57,211 - Hey, Mom. - I wonder if they have pretzels, too. 537 00:24:57,377 --> 00:25:00,568 Don't look now, but I think you're passing for a 40-year-old woman. 538 00:25:00,791 --> 00:25:01,789 What? 539 00:25:01,915 --> 00:25:04,709 2:00, silver fox, totally checking you out. 540 00:25:06,868 --> 00:25:09,299 - He is not. - Well, he's not staring at Steve. 541 00:25:09,491 --> 00:25:11,444 You're being ridiculous. 542 00:25:14,527 --> 00:25:16,877 He's definitely not looking at me. 543 00:25:19,647 --> 00:25:22,599 - He's still looking. - Drink your martini, Lorelai. 544 00:25:24,517 --> 00:25:27,312 PARIS: Tragic waste of paper. JESS: I can't believe you just said that. 545 00:25:27,473 --> 00:25:30,221 It's true. The Beats' writing was completely self-indulgent. 546 00:25:30,428 --> 00:25:32,461 I have one word for Jack Kerouac: edit. 547 00:25:32,634 --> 00:25:35,666 It was not self-indulgent. The Beats believed in shocking people... 548 00:25:35,882 --> 00:25:36,949 stirring things up. 549 00:25:37,088 --> 00:25:39,041 They believed in drugs, booze, and petty crime. 550 00:25:39,211 --> 00:25:41,846 They expose you to a world you wouldn't have otherwise known. 551 00:25:42,042 --> 00:25:43,479 Isn't it what great writing's about? 552 00:25:43,582 --> 00:25:46,489 It wasn't great writing. It was the National Enquirer of the '50s. 553 00:25:46,704 --> 00:25:48,301 - You're cracked. - Typical guy response. 554 00:25:48,411 --> 00:25:49,603 Worship Kerouac and Bukowski. 555 00:25:49,743 --> 00:25:51,776 God forbid you pick up anything by Jane Austen. 556 00:25:51,949 --> 00:25:53,777 - I've read Jane Austen. - You have? 557 00:25:53,947 --> 00:25:56,058 Yeah. And I think she would have liked Bukowski. 558 00:25:56,236 --> 00:25:58,143 - What are you doing? - Salt and peppered it. 559 00:25:58,318 --> 00:25:59,635 - Only way to eat a fry. - Really? 560 00:25:59,774 --> 00:26:01,284 It's fast-food gospel. 561 00:26:04,103 --> 00:26:05,245 That's good. That's really good. 562 00:26:05,269 --> 00:26:06,382 [Telephone ringing] 563 00:26:06,517 --> 00:26:09,152 - Do you like hot sauce? - I don't know. Should I? 564 00:26:09,931 --> 00:26:11,327 I think it's wise. 565 00:26:11,471 --> 00:26:12,504 - Hello? - Hey. 566 00:26:12,636 --> 00:26:13,634 Oh, hey. 567 00:26:13,802 --> 00:26:16,437 - Where are you? - On my way to see you, if that's okay. 568 00:26:16,632 --> 00:26:19,063 I know you wanna be alone. I'll only stay a minute. 569 00:26:19,255 --> 00:26:21,208 - I just want to say hi. - You said hi. 570 00:26:21,378 --> 00:26:24,364 - I want to say hi a little closer. - But I'm a mess. 571 00:26:24,583 --> 00:26:26,457 It's not pretty. You won't recognize me. 572 00:26:26,622 --> 00:26:28,689 Then put a name tag on, 'cause I miss you. 573 00:26:28,870 --> 00:26:31,141 - I miss you, too, but... - But what? 574 00:26:31,951 --> 00:26:33,586 - Paris is here. - Why? 575 00:26:33,740 --> 00:26:36,329 She freaked out about a grade and wanted to go over notes. 576 00:26:36,530 --> 00:26:38,040 You know her, she will not be denied. 577 00:26:38,194 --> 00:26:40,988 I'm not really ruining your alone night. Someone else did that. 578 00:26:41,191 --> 00:26:43,178 - Yes, but... - I'll see you in a sec. 579 00:26:43,772 --> 00:26:45,044 Can't get into poetry. 580 00:26:45,187 --> 00:26:47,822 It's like, "Jeez, just say it already. We're dying here." 581 00:26:48,018 --> 00:26:50,970 I just noticed the time, and it's getting really late. 582 00:26:51,181 --> 00:26:52,214 It's 7:00. 583 00:26:52,347 --> 00:26:55,413 I know, but Paris and I still have a lot more studying to do. 584 00:26:55,636 --> 00:26:58,349 Jess, please thank Luke for me. It was really nice of him. 585 00:26:58,550 --> 00:27:00,106 - Who was that on the phone? - No one. 586 00:27:00,256 --> 00:27:01,564 Would "no one" be heading over here? 587 00:27:01,588 --> 00:27:02,621 Jess. 588 00:27:02,753 --> 00:27:03,980 - What's going on? - Nothing. 589 00:27:04,127 --> 00:27:06,591 - Rory doesn't want Dean to find me here. - Why? 590 00:27:06,791 --> 00:27:08,347 - Yeah, why? - You know why. 591 00:27:08,498 --> 00:27:11,291 - We're just eating dinner. - Jess, I'm asking you as a friend. 592 00:27:11,495 --> 00:27:13,925 - Please leave now. - You really want me to go? 593 00:27:14,117 --> 00:27:16,467 I really want to avoid a fight with Dean. 594 00:27:17,905 --> 00:27:20,289 - Okay, I'm going. - Thank you. 595 00:27:21,277 --> 00:27:22,309 JESS: Ow! 596 00:27:22,442 --> 00:27:23,669 RORY: What? 597 00:27:23,816 --> 00:27:26,451 I just twisted my ankle. I better go lie down. 598 00:27:27,521 --> 00:27:31,030 You're no fun when you're tense. Are you sure you want me to go? 599 00:27:31,267 --> 00:27:33,300 Maybe this can be solved between me and Dean... 600 00:27:33,473 --> 00:27:35,063 if we had a little heart-to-heart. 601 00:27:35,222 --> 00:27:37,572 He could tell me his issues, I'll tell him mine. 602 00:27:37,761 --> 00:27:39,794 - I promise I'll speak slowly. - Bye. 603 00:27:41,049 --> 00:27:43,036 Give him my best, would you? 604 00:27:43,214 --> 00:27:46,121 JESS: Actually, I guess I could do that myself. 605 00:27:46,336 --> 00:27:48,607 Dean, Jess just came by to bring me some food. 606 00:27:48,792 --> 00:27:49,825 From Luke's. 607 00:27:49,956 --> 00:27:51,765 RORY: He wanted to make sure I ate. JESS: Luke did. 608 00:27:51,789 --> 00:27:53,583 Personally, I could care less if she eats. 609 00:27:53,745 --> 00:27:55,255 True, he could care less. 610 00:27:55,410 --> 00:27:57,555 I see you brought a little something, too. 611 00:27:57,741 --> 00:28:00,568 JESS: Is that ice cream? That's so nice. 612 00:28:01,071 --> 00:28:03,740 A tiny little ice-cream package just big enough for two. 613 00:28:03,943 --> 00:28:07,690 Are you guys gonna feed each other? 'Cause that's just so darn cute. 614 00:28:07,980 --> 00:28:08,978 Oops. 615 00:28:09,146 --> 00:28:11,701 You're doing that towering-over-me thing. 616 00:28:11,894 --> 00:28:14,039 I tell you, you've really got that down. 617 00:28:14,224 --> 00:28:16,291 It helps that you're 12 feet tall. 618 00:28:16,473 --> 00:28:19,380 But this Frankenstein scowl really adds to the whole... 619 00:28:19,594 --> 00:28:21,627 - Jess! - Okay, I'm going. 620 00:28:23,132 --> 00:28:25,687 Look, man, I really was just dropping off some food... 621 00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:28,469 so don't get all West Side Story on me, okay? 622 00:28:30,167 --> 00:28:33,233 So, do you want to come in? 623 00:28:33,539 --> 00:28:35,287 What the hell is going on? 624 00:28:36,618 --> 00:28:39,173 - Dean, you remember Paris, right? - Yeah, hi. 625 00:28:40,407 --> 00:28:42,632 So Jess just dropped this off? 626 00:28:43,321 --> 00:28:46,864 Now, I know you eat fast, but this is a lot of food to put away that quickly... 627 00:28:47,108 --> 00:28:49,697 - even on your best day. - Okay, he didn't just drop it off. 628 00:28:49,897 --> 00:28:51,725 - You told me you were doing laundry. - I was. 629 00:28:51,895 --> 00:28:53,371 And now you're here with Jess. 630 00:28:53,519 --> 00:28:55,188 - And Paris. - Jess, Rory! 631 00:28:55,350 --> 00:28:57,144 I swear, I didn't... 632 00:28:57,307 --> 00:28:59,374 - You didn't know he was coming over? - I didn't. 633 00:28:59,555 --> 00:29:01,780 - You also didn't know he'd stay? - It just happened. 634 00:29:01,969 --> 00:29:04,319 - How does that just happen? - Well, he was... 635 00:29:04,757 --> 00:29:07,631 And the diner was... And I... 636 00:29:07,838 --> 00:29:09,711 And you what? Say something! 637 00:29:09,877 --> 00:29:12,261 - Stop yelling. - You totally lied to me. 638 00:29:12,458 --> 00:29:14,411 - I didn't. - Turn the situation around. 639 00:29:14,582 --> 00:29:16,216 - How's it looking? - Complicated... 640 00:29:16,371 --> 00:29:18,324 - and I'm trying to explain it. - That's crap. 641 00:29:18,494 --> 00:29:21,129 PARIS: It's my fault. DEAN: What? 642 00:29:21,324 --> 00:29:23,596 It's my fault that Jess was here. 643 00:29:23,780 --> 00:29:26,608 I saw him in the diner the day I came to Stars Hollow... 644 00:29:26,819 --> 00:29:29,250 and I thought he was cute, and since I'm not great... 645 00:29:29,441 --> 00:29:32,632 at the "batting the eyelashes, look at my belly shirt" kind of thing... 646 00:29:32,854 --> 00:29:34,206 I asked Rory to help me. 647 00:29:34,353 --> 00:29:38,226 I thought if she could maybe get him over here, we'd have a chance to talk... 648 00:29:38,474 --> 00:29:40,780 and I don't know. It seems totally stupid now... 649 00:29:40,972 --> 00:29:44,674 and it obviously didn't work, shock, but that's why he was here. 650 00:29:45,925 --> 00:29:48,071 - Thanks for trying to cover for me. - That's okay. 651 00:29:48,257 --> 00:29:49,813 Anyway, I should get going. 652 00:29:49,963 --> 00:29:53,347 I'm probably gonna break out in some sort of rash any second now. 653 00:29:59,411 --> 00:30:02,000 - So Paris likes Jess. - Yeah. 654 00:30:05,240 --> 00:30:06,671 Rory, is this true? 655 00:30:07,862 --> 00:30:10,007 - Yes, it is. - Paris and Jess? 656 00:30:10,193 --> 00:30:12,907 I know. There's no explaining attraction. 657 00:30:13,980 --> 00:30:15,650 Dean, listen to me. 658 00:30:16,187 --> 00:30:20,013 If I was going to have anyone over tonight, it definitely would have been you. 659 00:30:20,266 --> 00:30:21,822 - Okay. - Really? 660 00:30:22,181 --> 00:30:25,724 If you say so, then I have to believe it, don't I? 661 00:30:26,427 --> 00:30:28,732 - Yes. - Okay, then. 662 00:30:29,799 --> 00:30:31,275 Sorry that I yelled. 663 00:30:31,422 --> 00:30:33,977 Completely justified under the circumstances. 664 00:30:34,794 --> 00:30:37,065 - I gotta get going. - No, wait. 665 00:30:37,249 --> 00:30:39,713 Don't you wanna stay for ice cream? We could hang out. 666 00:30:39,914 --> 00:30:42,866 - No, I'm just gonna go. - I'm still seeing you tomorrow, right? 667 00:30:43,077 --> 00:30:44,395 Yeah, sure. 668 00:30:45,908 --> 00:30:46,906 Hey. 669 00:30:53,941 --> 00:30:55,417 See you tomorrow. 670 00:31:06,304 --> 00:31:07,894 - What was that? - What? 671 00:31:08,053 --> 00:31:10,198 That. The story. The save. 672 00:31:10,383 --> 00:31:11,939 You helped me. Why would you do that? 673 00:31:12,090 --> 00:31:13,521 I don't know. It just came out. 674 00:31:13,671 --> 00:31:16,056 - You have no idea what you did. - It was no big deal. 675 00:31:16,252 --> 00:31:19,159 No, it was a very big deal. It was a huge deal. 676 00:31:19,790 --> 00:31:23,492 You helped me tonight when you didn't want to, so I owed you. 677 00:31:23,745 --> 00:31:25,778 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 678 00:31:26,617 --> 00:31:29,410 Okay, I'll let you get back to your alone night. 679 00:31:30,072 --> 00:31:31,389 You should stay. 680 00:31:32,278 --> 00:31:33,391 - Stay? - Yeah. 681 00:31:33,527 --> 00:31:35,480 We could hang out, maybe watch some TV. 682 00:31:35,650 --> 00:31:38,205 You can spend the night if you don't want to drive back. 683 00:31:38,397 --> 00:31:41,032 - Spend the night? Like a slumber party? - Sort of. 684 00:31:41,228 --> 00:31:43,612 You're doing this 'cause I lied to Dean for you, right? 685 00:31:43,808 --> 00:31:46,363 I'm doing this because it's what you do with friends. 686 00:31:46,556 --> 00:31:47,749 We're friends? 687 00:31:47,887 --> 00:31:50,761 I'm not sure if there's an exact definition for what we are... 688 00:31:50,968 --> 00:31:54,716 but I do think it falls somewhere in the bizarro friends-ish realm. 689 00:31:55,131 --> 00:31:57,164 - Come on, stay. - Okay. 690 00:31:58,253 --> 00:32:01,523 But if you're doing all this so you can freeze my bra, I'll kill you. 691 00:32:01,749 --> 00:32:02,861 Duly noted. 692 00:32:05,204 --> 00:32:07,475 This is either the greatest steak I've ever eaten... 693 00:32:07,660 --> 00:32:08,977 or I'm so hungry, I'm delirious. 694 00:32:09,117 --> 00:32:10,787 Pass the horseradish, please. 695 00:32:10,948 --> 00:32:12,743 I never knew you were a spicy girl. 696 00:32:12,904 --> 00:32:14,574 Believe me, I can handle my heat. 697 00:32:14,736 --> 00:32:16,405 One summer when we were first married... 698 00:32:16,568 --> 00:32:18,873 your father and I stayed in this village in Thailand... 699 00:32:19,065 --> 00:32:21,813 where we spent two weeks eating viciously hot chilies... 700 00:32:22,020 --> 00:32:23,338 - and skinny-dipping. - Stop, Mom. 701 00:32:23,477 --> 00:32:25,828 You couldn't put your clothes on after eating those. 702 00:32:26,016 --> 00:32:28,685 Stop it! I like to think of parents the old-fashioned way. 703 00:32:28,889 --> 00:32:30,001 In separate bedrooms. 704 00:32:30,137 --> 00:32:33,441 And now it's time for my favorite part of the evening: 705 00:32:33,801 --> 00:32:36,787 Our salute to the Chairman of the Board. 706 00:32:37,005 --> 00:32:39,277 I sure hope that's not B-O-R-E-D. 707 00:32:46,121 --> 00:32:47,439 [Jazz music playing] 708 00:32:48,953 --> 00:32:50,304 - Mom? - Yes? 709 00:32:51,283 --> 00:32:53,156 Remember the man who wasn't staring at you? 710 00:32:53,323 --> 00:32:54,391 He wasn't staring at me. 711 00:32:54,530 --> 00:32:56,722 - Okay. Well, he's coming over. - What? 712 00:32:57,277 --> 00:32:59,230 Excuse me. I hope I'm not interrupting. 713 00:32:59,400 --> 00:33:02,943 I couldn't help but notice that you two are having more fun than anyone here. 714 00:33:03,188 --> 00:33:05,017 - That's true. We are. - Well, good. 715 00:33:05,186 --> 00:33:07,980 I've come to the right place. Hi, I'm Chad. 716 00:33:08,183 --> 00:33:11,374 Hi, Chad. I'm Lorelai. This is my mother, Emily. 717 00:33:11,638 --> 00:33:12,671 Your mother? 718 00:33:12,804 --> 00:33:16,108 If your next words are, "You can't possibly be old enough... 719 00:33:16,342 --> 00:33:19,249 "to be her mother," I'll have to cause you severe physical pain. 720 00:33:19,464 --> 00:33:23,290 Emily, do you share this rather extreme opinion? 721 00:33:23,709 --> 00:33:25,185 I think I'll stay out of it. 722 00:33:25,333 --> 00:33:28,717 In that case, let me just say that I think you look more like sisters... 723 00:33:28,954 --> 00:33:31,384 than mother and daughter. I went for a variation. 724 00:33:31,577 --> 00:33:33,291 I'll let it slide this time. 725 00:33:33,450 --> 00:33:36,119 - You two local or just visiting? - Visiting. 726 00:33:36,322 --> 00:33:39,785 - Mom's from Hartford, and I'm from... - Hartford? Great town. 727 00:33:40,776 --> 00:33:43,048 Little of the old, little of the new. 728 00:33:43,231 --> 00:33:45,264 - You like living there? - Yes, I do. 729 00:33:45,438 --> 00:33:47,822 - And how about you? Where do you live? - Here. 730 00:33:48,019 --> 00:33:50,528 By here, I mean this very bar stool. 731 00:33:51,016 --> 00:33:53,809 Admitting right off the bat that you spend your life in a bar. 732 00:33:54,013 --> 00:33:56,205 Do you find that people are impressed by that? 733 00:33:56,385 --> 00:33:57,975 Until now. 734 00:33:58,258 --> 00:33:59,893 I love this song. 735 00:34:00,256 --> 00:34:03,050 - It's a great song for dancing. - Yes, it is. 736 00:34:03,253 --> 00:34:04,395 [Band playing Fly Me to the Moon] 737 00:34:04,419 --> 00:34:07,610 - Help me out here, will you? - I think he's asking you to dance. 738 00:34:07,832 --> 00:34:10,626 What? No, I couldn't. 739 00:34:10,829 --> 00:34:12,896 Rumor has it you love this song. 740 00:34:13,077 --> 00:34:15,541 Yes, but I don't dance. 741 00:34:15,742 --> 00:34:17,173 Come on, I can't believe that. 742 00:34:17,323 --> 00:34:19,469 - I shouldn't leave my daughter alone. - That's okay. 743 00:34:19,654 --> 00:34:20,812 The sitter will be here soon. 744 00:34:20,902 --> 00:34:22,731 I'm serious. You should ask someone else. 745 00:34:22,900 --> 00:34:24,047 Is it my dancing? 746 00:34:24,191 --> 00:34:26,541 Because you two can work out some "save me" signal... 747 00:34:26,731 --> 00:34:28,287 in case I really embarrass you. 748 00:34:28,437 --> 00:34:29,913 Go ahead, Mom. It'll be fun. 749 00:34:30,060 --> 00:34:32,206 Come on, the song's almost over. 750 00:34:32,391 --> 00:34:34,856 You'll hardly have to spend any time at all with me. 751 00:34:35,929 --> 00:34:37,201 All right. 752 00:35:01,071 --> 00:35:04,456 - Your mom looks good out there. - Yeah, she sure does. 753 00:35:12,227 --> 00:35:13,584 [Band playing romantic jazz music] 754 00:35:44,612 --> 00:35:46,246 I'm sorry, I have to go. 755 00:35:47,484 --> 00:35:48,517 Mom? 756 00:35:52,479 --> 00:35:54,943 - Mom, what's wrong? - We're leaving. 757 00:35:55,143 --> 00:35:56,971 - What happened? - I shouldn't be doing this. 758 00:35:57,141 --> 00:35:59,571 - Doing what? - Fraternizing with other men. 759 00:35:59,763 --> 00:36:02,749 - What are you talking about? - I practically cheated on your father. 760 00:36:02,968 --> 00:36:05,603 - You did not cheat on Dad. - I danced with another man. 761 00:36:05,799 --> 00:36:07,275 You've danced with other men before. 762 00:36:07,422 --> 00:36:09,409 Not like that, not without your father present. 763 00:36:09,587 --> 00:36:11,540 It was just a dance. You were having fun. 764 00:36:11,710 --> 00:36:13,901 I need to go. How hard is it to find a coat? 765 00:36:14,083 --> 00:36:15,877 Mom, you didn't do anything wrong. 766 00:36:16,039 --> 00:36:19,707 I don't know why I let you take me to this chophouse. I don't go to chophouses. 767 00:36:19,951 --> 00:36:21,904 - What were you thinking? - Need food now? 768 00:36:22,075 --> 00:36:24,266 I certainly don't eat at bars. Hookers eat at bars. 769 00:36:24,447 --> 00:36:26,593 - Only if they can't get a table. - You're not funny. 770 00:36:26,778 --> 00:36:29,413 You knew this made me uncomfortable and yet you kept pushing. 771 00:36:29,609 --> 00:36:31,482 I was trying to do everything right. 772 00:36:31,648 --> 00:36:34,157 You manipulated me into taking this trip and still I came. 773 00:36:34,354 --> 00:36:37,102 You told me I was acting like a teenager so I tried to be nicer. 774 00:36:37,310 --> 00:36:39,376 You said you needed to eat so I made that happen. 775 00:36:39,557 --> 00:36:41,669 By sitting me at a bar where you forced me... 776 00:36:41,846 --> 00:36:43,561 to engage in inappropriate behavior. 777 00:36:43,720 --> 00:36:45,753 - What? - You let me get 60-40'd. 778 00:36:45,925 --> 00:36:48,355 You are crazy. Do you know that? 779 00:36:48,881 --> 00:36:52,390 We were having dinner, Mom, a nice dinner. We were talking. 780 00:36:52,627 --> 00:36:54,058 Hell, we were having fun. 781 00:36:54,209 --> 00:36:56,559 Watching your mother make an ass of herself is fun. 782 00:36:56,749 --> 00:36:59,576 You don't have any right to complain about this relationship... 783 00:36:59,787 --> 00:37:03,136 if you don't wanna let your guard down once in a while and just be normal. 784 00:37:03,367 --> 00:37:05,921 There's a way for a mother to behave with her daughter. 785 00:37:06,114 --> 00:37:08,908 I'm sorry if you don't like it, but that's how it is. 786 00:37:24,596 --> 00:37:25,629 [Lorelai sighing] 787 00:37:26,386 --> 00:37:27,532 LORELAI: Come in. 788 00:37:29,049 --> 00:37:32,195 I called the bellman to get the bags. He said it would be 10 minutes. 789 00:37:32,422 --> 00:37:35,135 - Thank you for agreeing to leave early. - No problem. 790 00:37:35,335 --> 00:37:37,447 I guess this whole thing was a silly idea anyway. 791 00:37:37,624 --> 00:37:38,782 I don't know why I pushed it. 792 00:37:38,915 --> 00:37:40,663 We can't even have dinner without a fight. 793 00:37:40,830 --> 00:37:43,135 What was I thinking, putting us together for a weekend? 794 00:37:43,327 --> 00:37:44,644 It was a nice thought, Mom. 795 00:37:44,784 --> 00:37:47,056 I guess it's the thought that counts, isn't it? 796 00:37:47,240 --> 00:37:50,034 You know, if you want, I can just bring our bags down. 797 00:37:50,237 --> 00:37:52,429 They're not that heavy. Then we don't have to wait. 798 00:37:52,609 --> 00:37:54,404 Well, that sounds fine. 799 00:37:57,105 --> 00:37:59,774 Why can't we have what you and Rory have? 800 00:38:01,851 --> 00:38:04,201 - Rory and I are different. - We're mother and daughter. 801 00:38:04,390 --> 00:38:06,661 You're mother and daughter. It shouldn't be different. 802 00:38:06,846 --> 00:38:09,310 It's completely different. It couldn't be more different. 803 00:38:09,510 --> 00:38:10,656 But why? 804 00:38:11,008 --> 00:38:14,074 I grew up in a different environment. 805 00:38:14,505 --> 00:38:17,809 - You mean an oppressive environment. - No, I mean a different environment. 806 00:38:18,043 --> 00:38:20,234 And plus, I was so young when I had Rory. 807 00:38:20,415 --> 00:38:22,607 So because I waited until I was grown and married... 808 00:38:22,788 --> 00:38:24,617 I can't have a relationship with my daughter. 809 00:38:24,786 --> 00:38:26,694 - No. - Well, then, why? 810 00:38:31,696 --> 00:38:33,921 Rory and I are best friends, Mom. 811 00:38:35,526 --> 00:38:38,512 We are best friends first and mother and daughter second. 812 00:38:38,731 --> 00:38:41,478 And you and I are mother and daughter always. 813 00:38:41,686 --> 00:38:43,831 I wasn't taught to be best friends with my daughter. 814 00:38:44,017 --> 00:38:45,085 I know. 815 00:38:45,225 --> 00:38:47,450 I was taught to be a role model for my daughter. 816 00:38:47,639 --> 00:38:48,786 I know that, too. 817 00:38:48,929 --> 00:38:51,757 I did what I thought was right, what I had to do to protect you. 818 00:38:51,967 --> 00:38:53,762 Because of this, we have no relationship. 819 00:38:53,924 --> 00:38:56,559 - Mom, we have a relationship. - We do? 820 00:38:56,755 --> 00:38:58,866 What? What is our relationship? 821 00:39:00,417 --> 00:39:03,006 - Well, we... - Exactly. 822 00:39:05,704 --> 00:39:09,053 Maybe an intense weekend together was not the best idea for us. 823 00:39:09,284 --> 00:39:12,985 Maybe we need to start with something simpler. 824 00:39:13,488 --> 00:39:16,474 - Like what? A brisk walk around the block? - No, I hate exercise. 825 00:39:16,693 --> 00:39:19,123 - Well, as long as you find this amusing. - Mom. 826 00:39:19,316 --> 00:39:22,382 Come on, there has to be something else. 827 00:39:23,644 --> 00:39:26,835 - Something small. - Like what? 828 00:39:33,010 --> 00:39:35,282 Where are you going? Lorelai, come back here. 829 00:39:35,466 --> 00:39:38,498 You don't just walk out on a person. That's rude. 830 00:39:39,129 --> 00:39:41,798 - That's a robe. - Yes. This is my robe. 831 00:39:42,126 --> 00:39:45,033 And I want you to go into your room and get your robe. 832 00:39:45,248 --> 00:39:47,201 And then, exactly at the same time... 833 00:39:47,371 --> 00:39:49,676 we're gonna shove these robes in our suitcases... 834 00:39:49,869 --> 00:39:52,299 and we're gonna walk out that door and leave with them. 835 00:39:52,491 --> 00:39:54,001 - That's stealing. - Yes, it is. 836 00:39:54,156 --> 00:39:56,507 You want me to steal? That's how we're going to bond? 837 00:39:56,695 --> 00:40:00,079 You love this robe. You've talked about this robe since we got here. 838 00:40:00,317 --> 00:40:02,781 So this robe will be symbolic of our trip together. 839 00:40:02,981 --> 00:40:05,933 Soon as they check the room, they'll know the robes are gone. 840 00:40:06,144 --> 00:40:08,779 - Then they'll charge our credit card. - How do you know? 841 00:40:08,975 --> 00:40:11,042 Because that's what the tag on the hanger says. 842 00:40:11,222 --> 00:40:13,465 The little tag on the hanger could be right, 843 00:40:13,477 --> 00:40:15,526 or the little tag could just be there... 844 00:40:15,801 --> 00:40:17,788 trying to scare us away from trying. 845 00:40:17,966 --> 00:40:20,191 Either way, whether we get away with it or not... 846 00:40:20,380 --> 00:40:22,764 it's something we did. You and I. 847 00:40:23,128 --> 00:40:24,604 You're serious. 848 00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:28,907 - I'm folding this robe up. - Lorelai. 849 00:40:29,122 --> 00:40:32,471 - I'm putting this robe in my bag. - That's lunacy. 850 00:40:32,701 --> 00:40:35,256 I am zipping up the bag that contains the robe. 851 00:40:35,448 --> 00:40:38,877 - I have a perfectly good robe at home. - The only question is... 852 00:40:39,112 --> 00:40:40,826 am I doing it alone? 853 00:40:41,733 --> 00:40:43,607 Did you ever steal a robe with Rory? 854 00:40:43,773 --> 00:40:47,123 No, Rory would never steal. She's far too moral for that. 855 00:40:47,353 --> 00:40:49,704 You, however, vicious trollop... 856 00:40:50,725 --> 00:40:52,394 what's it gonna be? 857 00:40:53,556 --> 00:40:54,873 I should have my head examined. 858 00:40:55,012 --> 00:40:56,760 We'll make an appointment when we get back. 859 00:40:56,927 --> 00:40:58,676 You do know in the course of one night... 860 00:40:58,842 --> 00:41:01,397 you've turned me into an adulterer and a thief. 861 00:41:01,589 --> 00:41:03,576 I'll have you working at the Chicken Ranch soon. 862 00:41:03,754 --> 00:41:05,945 I cannot believe I'm doing this. 863 00:41:09,290 --> 00:41:11,277 [Hammering and drilling] 864 00:41:17,824 --> 00:41:19,731 You actually got Grandma to steal a bathrobe? 865 00:41:19,904 --> 00:41:22,778 I did catch her trying to return it while I was getting the car. 866 00:41:22,984 --> 00:41:24,017 - Still. - I know. 867 00:41:24,150 --> 00:41:26,863 Life with my mother: one step forward, 5,000 steps back. 868 00:41:27,064 --> 00:41:28,892 It's kind of like the spastic polka. 869 00:41:29,062 --> 00:41:31,368 - Excuse me. Are you done? - No, sorry, not yet. 870 00:41:31,559 --> 00:41:34,705 You're gonna eat half a piece of bacon that's been there for 10 minutes? 871 00:41:34,931 --> 00:41:37,043 You must be if you're saying you're not done. 872 00:41:37,221 --> 00:41:39,890 Because that's the only thing left. Unless you eat plates. 873 00:41:40,093 --> 00:41:41,888 - Go away. - You're hogging the table. 874 00:41:42,049 --> 00:41:44,195 - If you keep it up, I'm ordering seconds. - Fine. 875 00:41:44,380 --> 00:41:46,208 Paris looked a little green this morning. 876 00:41:46,378 --> 00:41:49,046 She had a sugar-carb hangover of monumental proportions. 877 00:41:49,250 --> 00:41:52,838 People don't realize it, but it takes years of training to eat the way we do. 878 00:41:53,080 --> 00:41:55,510 - Don't I know it. - So what's on the agenda for today? 879 00:41:55,702 --> 00:41:58,688 Dean, Dean, and... Oh, did I mention Dean? 880 00:41:58,908 --> 00:42:00,861 Wow, he must have been crazy mad last night. 881 00:42:01,030 --> 00:42:02,745 I'd say that was a fair assessment. 882 00:42:02,904 --> 00:42:04,380 I gotta get to the Inn. 883 00:42:04,526 --> 00:42:07,161 Okay. I'm probably gonna have dinner with Dean, so... 884 00:42:07,358 --> 00:42:10,310 I'll have the house to myself tonight. Life's funny, isn't it? 885 00:42:10,521 --> 00:42:13,394 I simply cannot stop laughing. I'll get the check. 886 00:42:13,601 --> 00:42:14,748 Thanks, hon. 887 00:42:16,723 --> 00:42:18,995 - Hey, Luke. - What, you find a nail in your food? 888 00:42:19,179 --> 00:42:22,165 I swear to God, Tom, you are dead. You hear me? Dead! 889 00:42:22,384 --> 00:42:24,417 There's nothing wrong with the food, Luke. 890 00:42:24,590 --> 00:42:25,623 Sorry, Tom. 891 00:42:25,756 --> 00:42:27,584 - I just wanted to thank you. - For what? 892 00:42:27,754 --> 00:42:30,661 - The care package. That was sweet of you. - What care package? 893 00:42:30,876 --> 00:42:33,102 Luke, I think they hit the water line again. 894 00:42:33,290 --> 00:42:36,117 What? Tom, you are dead. You hear me? Dead! 895 00:42:37,660 --> 00:42:38,693 Hmm. 896 00:42:38,826 --> 00:42:40,575 - Interesting. - You wanna pay? 897 00:42:40,741 --> 00:42:43,126 I don't think Luke knew about the food last night. 898 00:42:43,322 --> 00:42:44,832 That'll be $12.50. 899 00:42:44,987 --> 00:42:46,338 You lied about why you came over. 900 00:42:46,485 --> 00:42:48,676 I don't have any quarters. I'll have to give nickels. 901 00:42:48,858 --> 00:42:51,208 Why would you lie about something like that? 902 00:42:51,397 --> 00:42:53,384 Here's your change. Come again soon. 903 00:42:53,562 --> 00:42:55,558 - You wanted to come. - I have to get back to work. 904 00:42:55,726 --> 00:42:58,600 You're squirming. I've never seen you squirm. It's entertaining. 905 00:42:58,806 --> 00:43:00,316 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 906 00:43:03,801 --> 00:43:05,754 - Dean, hey. - Hey. 907 00:43:06,008 --> 00:43:08,915 Rory's just inside paying. She's coming out to meet you after. 908 00:43:09,130 --> 00:43:12,003 - We're gonna spend the day together. - That's great. 909 00:43:12,210 --> 00:43:13,561 Yeah, it is. 910 00:43:14,790 --> 00:43:17,856 So, listen, Rory told me everything that happened last night. 911 00:43:18,079 --> 00:43:20,826 - She feels just terrible about it. - I know. 912 00:43:21,034 --> 00:43:22,351 Good. You should. 913 00:43:22,658 --> 00:43:26,325 'Cause it's just one of those freaky, unfortunate things that happens. 914 00:43:26,820 --> 00:43:28,932 Freaky and unfortunate. Yeah. 915 00:43:29,151 --> 00:43:31,944 She had nothing to do with Jess coming over, believe me. 916 00:43:32,148 --> 00:43:35,021 - She did not want him there. - That's what she told me. 917 00:43:36,477 --> 00:43:38,384 Rory wouldn't lie, right? 918 00:43:39,641 --> 00:43:41,753 No, Rory wouldn't lie.