- How's the meal? - Tasty.
Very tasty. New cook?
Yes, Marisella. She's introduced us to some wonderful dishes...
so charmingly specific to her native country.
- What country is she from? - A little one, next to Mexico.
- How charmingly specific. - Too bad Grandpa's not here.
- He likes weird food. - Where's he eating his weird food tonight?
- Argentina? Morocco? - Akron.
RORY: Ohio? EMILY: Yes.
- Get out of here. - I will not "get out of here."
No, I didn't mean really get out of here.
- Why is Grandpa in Akron? - I don't know.
It was just a saying.
They sent him to deal with a problem with their local office.
A saying, like "save me," or "get me out of here."
Would you like a mirror in front of you...
so you can see yourself during this conversation.
- Sorry. Dad's in Akron. - Yes.
The amenities are atrociously lacking. He had to eat at a coffee shop last night.
The whole thing's insulting. He's miserable.
- I hate that he's miserable. - So do I.
- We ought to do something. - Yes, I agree.
Warning, warning.
I'm glad you said that. I thought of a wonderful way to cheer him up.
- Cool. What? - Danger, Will Robinson, danger!
An oil portrait of you for his study.
- An oil portrait? - I tried. Have fun.
It could hang right over his mantel. He'd just love it.
I guess that would be okay.
- Mom, please don't make her do this. - She just said she would.
Fine, but don't make her sit and pose for it. Paint it from a photo.
- A photo? That's what they do at malls. - I'll sit. It's fine.
Just because your experience was bad doesn't mean Rory's has to be.
- What portrait? I haven't seen this. - They never finished.
Three painters started, and they all three quit.
- Why did they quit? - She wouldn't stop scowling.
I was going for a Billy Idol thing.
The one from Italy had some sort of breakdown.
- Oh, my God. - Didn't hurt Van Gogh. He should thank me.
A year later, I swear I saw him rummaging through our recyclables.
Well, I'm happy to sit. If it's for Grandpa, why not?
Wonderful. I'll set it up first thing in the morning.
If you want, I can teach you the Billy Idol.
Most people focus on the lip thing, but the eyes are just as important...
LUKE: So, first thing you and Sookie would do is incorporate.
LORELAI: Wow. Sounds so big time.
Not really. It just means you're a single business entity.
You'll both be officers and shareholders...
and you'll get to make up a name for your company.
I'm terrible at coming up with names.
When we first bought our house, Rory and I wanted to name it.
Like Jefferson named his place Monticello...
but we could only come up with "The Crap Shack."
LUKE: Nice. JESS: Coffee?
Yeah, thanks.
- How are you, Jess? - I'm not bleeding or anything.
Then it's gonna be a good day.
- 7:45. - So?
You want me to go to school, or you want to openly defy child-labor laws?
Go.
Stay out of trouble.
I guess I'll call off the chickie run at the salt flats.
- Out! - Wow. So much love.
Do you guys have a site in mind for the inn?
- Yes. - Great. Where?
You've seen pictures of it. The Rachel property.
Right.
- Sorry. - It's okay.
Rachel took the pictures, and the pictures kind of got us into the place.
So we started calling it the Rachel property...
because it made sense, and then it became a habit.
Now, out of respect for you, I'm gonna stop using her name...
and think of another name to call it. Let's see. "The Crap Shack" is taken.
It's okay. Call it what you want.
Who taught you about all this business stuff? Your dad?
My dad didn't have a checking account till I got taller than he was.
He bought this land with cash, built this place himself.
Didn't have a bookkeeper, accountant, or anything.
So you had no one showing you the ropes.
I figured I had to dive in on my own, fail if that's my destiny...
- and forget what the experts say. - That is exactly my philosophy. Exactly.
Except I'm not on my own, I'm diving in with Sookie.
And failure is not even a choice of destinies.
And I'm consulting any expert who will listen to me.
Otherwise, it's identical.
I should be getting going. You gonna write this meal off?
- Why? - We talked business.
You gotta be thinking about these things.
No, I mean, "Why? I'm not paying for it."
- Exactly. - You're gonna do fine.
LORELAI: It shouldn't be too flashy.
How about something historical, like "The Paul Revere"?
- That could work. - What could work?
We're thinking up names for the inn.
If you want simple, something like "The Country Rose."
That's pretty good.
We could line the front path with multicolored roses.
Or "The Inn by the Hollow."
- Kind of long. - But nice.
How about "The Money Pit"? Or "The Outhouse"? Go international.
Go back in your hole.
Or "The Inn Heading for Bankruptcy"? Kind of long, but nice.
You who have no dreams, rain on those who do.
I say this because I care about you. It's risky, what you are doing.
Most new businesses go down within two years.
I say if we go down after two years...
it'll be the most exciting two years of our lives.
- Same here. Boredom stinks! - Fine. Proceed blindly.
This came in 10 minutes ago.
It does not involve The Independence Inn.
Therefore, delivering it was beyond my official obligations...
so I am taking an extra-long lunch break.
He's so genuine.
- Oh, my God. - What?
It's the title search for the Rachel property. Guess who owns it?
Tell me it's not that bastard Donald Trump.
- Fran. - Fran from Westin Bakery?
Sweet little Fran, the cupcake lady.
Not some cigar-chomping, dirty-dealing city slicker.
That's good. Hey, "The Country Slicker." Funny name, cutesy idea.
- It's a little much. - It's way too much.
- I'll call Fran. - "Fran's Old Place."
It'll be like Ruth's Chris Steakhouse.
People will be trying to figure out who Fran is.
Or "The In Inn" It's an inn that's in with the in-crowd.
- I'm gonna go sit down. - Do that, sweetie.
Honey, I am so sorry. Am I late-late, or just late?
Two pieces of carrot cake and a rum ball.
I'm so sorry. I swear, I meant to be on time.
I was prepping the raspberry glaze for tonight's dessert, and it struck me:
I made a blueberry glaze for the soufflé I made last Tuesday, and this is Tuesday.
And a lot of locals come every week on the same night every week.
And I just didn't want to serve them a similar dessert...
even though it's a completely different berry.
- I need another rum ball. - I'm sorry.
No, you're a perfectionist.
And that attention to detail is why people call you "the maestro."
- Really? Who calls me that? - The people who eat the rum balls.
So, ladies, how are we doing here?
- We're doing great, Fran. - That's wonderful.
Could Sookie and I talk to you for a couple minutes?
Of course. Marjorie can handle things.
[Groaning]
- Fran, are you okay? - It's this bum hip.
It needs to be replaced. Again.
And I have this awful angina.
We're so sorry to hear that.
So, I know you didn't come here to listen to me gripe...
so tell me what's on your mind.
Fran, we understand that you own...
the old Dragonfly bed-and-breakfast, that whole property out there.
Yes, I do. It was my parents' business.
It's a beautiful place.
It used to be. But it's in such disarray now.
Yes, it is. That's kind of why we're here.
- We'd actually like to buy it. - Buy the Dragonfly?
We'd like to buy it and make it beautiful again...
and we're prepared to make you an offer right now.
My, this is a surprise.
Sookie and I are going to start our own inn...
and we've been searching for the perfect place.
- Your own inn? - Yeah.
How wonderful!
You are going to be so successful.
Thanks, sweetie.
That means so much, like we have your blessing.
But I can't sell you the property.
- What? - How come?
I just couldn't.
You know, I have no siblings and no children...
and, in a way, that place is really the only family I have.
I'm the last Westin left, so I plan to own it forever.
- Forever? - Forever and ever.
- That's a very long time. - A very long time.
I'm so sorry.
Fran, may I ask...
Go ahead, honey, ask me anything you want.
What happens to the place if you... If forever isn't quite forever?
I don't understand, dear. All I know is that I can't sell the place.
No, I don't mean selling it.
I mean you would keep it forever, but what happens...
once you're no longer in the position of physically controlling the property?
How could that be?
- Well, if you... - Take a long vacation.
- Yes, take a long vacation. Thank you. - You're welcome.
And when you're on that vacation, the property is just left sitting there.
- What happens then? - I don't enjoy vacations.
I toured the California Gold Country 10 years ago.
It was hot, and the bus smelled.
Okay. I mean a longer vacation than a trip to California.
- To a different place. - What kind of place?
- A place out there. - Way out there, Fran.
Europe?
- I mean, the ultimate long vacation. - Yeah, Fran, see, eventually...
we're all gonna take the same long vacation.
And with that being the case...
you might want to sell the property now and enjoy the money.
I'm very sorry, but I can never sell the place.
Oh.
- Thanks for your time, Fran. - Yeah, thanks, Fran.
- Bye, now. - Bye.
You both look so sad. Would you like a cupcake?
- Please. - Yeah.
So, Janie Fertman's trying to be my friend again.
Yikes. What kind of vibe were you giving her?
My patented Keith Richards, circa 1969, don't-mess-with-me vibe...
- with a 1000-yard Asian stare thrown in. - That should do it.
What's happening up there?
COP: Just try to calm down, Taylor.
- Calm down? Why should I calm down? - Yeah, why should he calm down?
- I want action, not words! - Yeah, action, not words.
Don't you need to get back to your news stand?
No, I'm all yours.
We'll get to the bottom of this, I promise.
A crime was committed right in front of my store!
- We can't say that for sure yet. - How come you can't say that for sure?
This is a police tape. You're the police. You own the tape.
We've contacted everyone in the precinct. No one knows anything about this.
What do I do? I've got a dead body right in front of my store!
No, you have a chalk outline of a dead body in front of your store.
- Meaning that there were two crimes. - What?
What do you mean, "What?"
Somebody got murdered, then somebody stole the body.
It's open-and-shut. Bing, bang, boom!
- Is this your son? - I should say not!
Look, my partner's doing a head count to see if anybody in town is missing.
Until then, just hang tight.
Hey.
What's going on?
I don't know. I got here, and this is what I found.
I told him it looked fake, but he didn't believe me.
And you have such an honest face.
He must not love me as much as you do.
Okay, you two are officially sickening.
Everyone's accounted for. Looks like this is just an elaborate prank.
It looks so real. Where'd they get the police tape?
COP: Kids have their ways.
TAYLOR: Who'd be depraved enough to pull a stupid prank like this?
COP: Hard to say.
You're not writing what you purchased on the back of these receipts.
- Just put "cooking spray and sponges." - Okay.
When an auditor wants to know why you need such large amounts of those?
I drop my pencil, and put the scoop-neck sweater...
that I'm making a mental note to wear, to good use.
At least you've got a solid plan.
I had a dream last night about us and Fran.
What was it?
It was in the future, and we were all old:
you, me, Rory, Jackson, Michel, everyone, gray hair, walking around with canes...
and we're all kind of ailing. I had those big cataract glasses on.
You were hard of hearing. You kept going, "Huh?"
- That's attractive. - It's you kids with your rock 'n' roll.
But what, ho! Here walks up Fran. And guess what?
- She looks exactly the same, even better. - That's not fair.
That woman is gonna live forever.
Not necessarily. Did you look up angina? I forgot to.
Yeah, it's nothing major.
- Guys, stop talking like this. - Like what?
We love Fran, remember? Fran is great.
No, of course we love Fran.
We just want to know what God's plan is for her, that's all.
I would advise at least pretending to look busy. The boss is here.
Mia!
- You're kidding. When? - I just spotted her walking in.
Let's go.
RORY: Mia!
MIA: My babies!
- Did we know you were coming? - I didn't know.
- This isn't a surprise inspection, is it? - That's exactly what this is. Ready?
- You're too thin, as always. - But we eat.
And you're both too beautiful.
We often feel guilty monopolizing the amount of beauty we possess.
I don't see you enough, which is my fault, so you both pass.
Michel. How nice to see you.
And look at that suit. You are quite the dandy, aren't you?
I had a feeling that a lovely woman was going to be visiting today...
so I decided I must look my best for her.
- I'm sorry. I didn't catch a word of that. - He said he missed you.
You've been in the US quite some time. Your enunciation should be better by now.
The customers seem to understand me just fine.
I didn't get that, either. Did you get the tapes I sent you?
You should hit the desk. People are looking for help.
Right away. Mia, I...
So are you too busy to sneak out with me for a walk?
- If it's okay with the boss. - It's a demand at this point.
Let's go. Michel, hold down the fort.
It's a little slow now, so it's no problem.
He says he's never liked you and that you're a problem.
I said no such thing!
I don't know where this hostility comes from. Can we work this out?
There is nothing to work out.
- He told you to get out. - I did not!
I don't know what I did to make him hate me.
- Look at this place. Exactly the same. - I made him paint it a few months ago.
Well, good for you. Nice to see you, Lucas.
You're the only person that can call me that, Mia.
I know this.
I'm saying it for others who plan to try it later.
Whatever, Lucas.
- Mia, you know anything about toasters? - Not a damn thing.
Then, sit down and let me get you some coffee.
LORELAI: So, Mia, how's living in Santa Barbara?
Horrible. Did you know the sun shines all the time out there?
They've written songs about that.
No one told me that's how it was. Half my wardrobe is obsolete.
- Drag. You know that vintage blue coat? - You're not getting it.
- You're making that worse. - Big help. Thanks.
Luke's nephew.
- Luke, that's your nephew? - It's Liz's kid.
Jess, this is Mia. She owns the Independence Inn.
Oh.
That's, "Hello, nice to meet you," in slacker.
You don't need me down here, do you?
I'm sorry, Mia. He's just...
Please, forget it. You weren't exactly talkative yourself when you were his age.
- That's right. You knew Luke as a boy. - I can't imagine Luke as a boy.
Can we change the subject?
He would help people carry groceries home.
- How very Boy Scouty of you. - For a quarter a bag.
How very John Birch Society of you.
He was never without his skateboard for a time.
- Were you any good? - I could hold my own.
There was that year you wore the same shirt everywhere you went.
- I don't remember that. - Must have been something flannel.
No, it was from that TV show, that famous one.
- It's not important. - Star Trek. That's it.
- Oh, my God. - Stop it.
- You were a Trekkie? - I was not a Trekkie.
I believe denying you were a Trekkie is a violation of the Prime Directive.
Indubitably, Captain.
It was a gift from my aunt. I wore it to make her happy.
I've never wanted to make any aunt that happy.
- Did I say something I shouldn't have? - I have to cancel everything...
scheduled for the next three months, 'cause I'll still be laughing my ass off.
- Luke, I need to talk to you right now. - What is it, Taylor?
I have conducted a thorough investigation of all the people...
who may have inadvertently been witness to the phony murder...
at my store last night.
There was a phony murder?
The town's too dull to work up a real murder.
You're one "Beam me up, Scotty" reference away from being the victim.
TAYLOR: Are you gonna listen? LUKE: What's this got to do with me?
Three people have reported seeing Jess in
that area late last night, skulking, lurking.
There were a lot of people out last night.
I fed them. I'll give you their names to add to your suspect list.
A person witnessed Jess walking out of an arts-and-crafts store two days ago...
- with what appeared to be chalk. - You appear to be bugging me.
- What are you gonna do about it? - About what?
- About the results of my investigation. - Nothing, but thanks for the info.
You have to do something. People want action.
- People? Meaning you. - Not just me.
I speak for the Stars Hollow Business Association...
the Stars Hollow Tourist Board, Neighborhood Watch Organization...
and the Stars Hollow Citizens for a Clean Stars Hollow Council.
- All of which are you. - So are you going to act?
I'm gonna act like you never came in here.
Fine, have it your own way.
But I warn you, there's gonna be a lot of unhappy people at the SHBA...
the SHTB, the SHMWO, and the SHCCHSC.
F-I-N-E!
You are impossible!
Oh.
- Hi, Mia. - Nice to see you, Taylor.
I've got to get out of Santa Barbara. I miss the small-town theater.
And I miss you.
Do you realize it was 15 years ago, almost to the day?
- Yes, it was. - What was?
To the day when this skinny little teenage girl showed up at the inn.
She had this tiny little thing in her arms.
- A little thing named Rory. - Okay, no physical re-enactment.
You marched up to me, looked me in the eye, and said:
"I'm here for a job. Any job."
Well, IBM had turned me down for the CEO slot, so I was desperate.
Work experience, none. Recommendations, none. Skills...
Besides flawlessly applying mascara in a moving car, none.
Not one thing to recommend hiring her. Just that...
How do I put it and remain a lady? That "who cares?" look in her eye.
So I gave her any job. The other maids hated you.
- Well, they were so slow. - You were special.
Why don't you move back here? We miss you.
Or at least visit more. You never come at all.
I don't have to. You've made me redundant.
- I have not. - Don't be humble.
The inn is beyond covered.
It's never run this well or been this successful.
That inn is like your place now.
Without you, I wouldn't know what to do. I'd be lost.
Lost, yeah.
- You look sad now. Why? - Nothing.
In all the excitement, I hadn't thought about telling Mia.
- What is wrong with me? - Nothing is wrong with you.
I feel terrible. I should have told her before.
I should have told her the day the idea occurred to us.
She deserved that. After all she's done for me.
[Cell phone ringing]
Hello?
EMILY: Lorelai, your daughter's impossible.
- She won't pose in an appropriate manner. - I'm trying to, Grandma.
- It's just awkward. - Let me guess how you're posing her.
She's in a silly gown, on a silly chair...
with both of her hands raised in some silly way.
Just the one hand is raised, and none of it's silly.
Pick a simpler pose.
This is the simplest, and it wasn't my choice.
And your choice is?
I wanted the swan to sit regally aside Rory's throne.
Swan? Throne?
Now you have a problem with swans and thrones.
Because swans and thrones scream one thing, Mom: Siegfried and Roy.
- Who? - Make a change, Mom.
I suppose you'd have her in the chair, reading a book.
Now, that sounds great.
- Be serious. - I am!
That's a completely natural pose for Rory.
And a painting of her reading that's gonna be hung in Dad's study...
seems just crazy enough to work.
Well...
Maybe it's not such a bad idea.
Give it a try, and let her lower her arm.
- Rory, you can lower your arm. - Thanks.
[Swan squawking]
I think he's just hungry. We're going to lose the swan!
Good going, Mom. Bye.
So, how do I do this?
- How do I tell Mia that I'm leaving? - Get her drunk first?
I can't believe it. I'm gonna let down the one person in my life...
who was there for me when I needed it the most.
I wanted to put it on the front desk, but I think it might be a tad short.
We could get a carpenter to build up a base and raise it up two inches...
- and then it would be perfect. - Great idea.
- I got that, every word! - Yes!
I'm so proud.
So, you gonna tell her now or later?
Later, because she's so happy that she can finally understand Michel...
and that the lamp is fixed and... And that, too.
- We're late. - We're not late.
Last time, Taylor said there would be consequences.
No, he said there would be severe consequences.
What time is it? Are we late?
- I hope so. - Mia?
I'm sorry, but it's been two years since I've been to a town meeting...
and I want some controversy.
Jeez! Don't sneak up on me like that.
Yeah, boy, I was lucky you had your phasers on stun.
At least we're not late. Luke's never late.
- Actually, we're two minutes early. - We should get a prize for being on time.
Luke, let's go back to the diner and get some pie as our reward.
- Then you'd be late. - A funny conundrum, but I want pie.
- You're harassing me now. - I'm not harassing you.
We're your groupies.
- "Luke, you're so dreamy. Be my guy." - "No, be my guy."
I'm bringing up the need for more police protection.
I think we're late.
- What's going on here? - Nothing.
Meeting was supposed to start at 8:00. It's a minute to 8:00.
- You might as well be honest with him. - Honest about what?
If you must know, there was a special issue...
the business community had to deal with first...
so we decided to start early.
I'm in the business community, and I wasn't told about it.
Taylor?
All right, fine! You weren't invited, Luke.
- And why is that? - Controversy.
You weren't invited because we are dealing with the Jess situation.
The Jess situation?
If this was the Wild West, we'd be diving into the water trough about now.
Damn it, Taylor!
- Luke, honey, calm down. - After all, this is all your doing.
If you hadn't so cavalierly dismissed the issue...
we wouldn't have had to do this.
I lost business because of what your hooligan nephew did.
How was business lost, Taylor?
If you opened late that day, your customers just came back later.
Not so. When Mrs. Lanahan couldn't buy her head of lettuce for her lunch...
she drove straight to Woodbury to buy lettuce from a competing market.
Isn't that right, Mrs. Lanahan?
TAYLOR: Mrs. Lanahan?
You really shouldn't be driving anymore.
Word has it that she was telling other Doose's Market shoppers...
that Woodbury lettuce is crisper. That's business flying out the door.
Fine. How much is a head of lettuce? $1?
Let's go crazy. Give me five heads.
This goes well beyond a head of lettuce, young man.
The charges against your nephew are numerous.
- He stole "Save the Bridge" money. - He gave it back.
- Stole a gnome from Babette's garden. - Pierpont was returned.
- He hooted at one of my dance classes. - He took a garden hose from my yard.
My son said he set off the fire alarms at school last week.
I heard he controls the weather and wrote the screenplay to Glitter!
- I think it's time for me to pipe in. - Yeah, that'll be good.
I have every right, Luke. I'm a local entrepreneur.
You took over your father's news stand. Doesn't make you an entrepreneur.
You took over your old man's hardware store.
- And turned it into a diner. - Big whoop! Who can't fry an egg?
Let's keep things moving here, boys.
I never liked the look of that kid from the second I saw him.
- Unbelievable! - Excuse me, I've got the floor.
- You don't have the floor. - I'm standing, aren't I?
I was standing first, which means I have the floor...
- and I'm not giving it to you. - What is with you two?
This goes way beyond the Jess matter, Taylor.
Luke's been on me since first grade, when he wrongfully accused me...
of sabotaging a clay imprint that he made of his hand.
Think hard. Was he dressed like Sulu?
No one cares about the stupid clay hand, Bootsy!
And you stomped on it, and three kids saw you!
- No, I didn't. - Yes, you did!
- No, I didn't. - Boys, please!
The bottom line here is that there is a consensus among townspeople...
who are in agreement that Stars Hollow was a better place before Jess got here.
This half of the room gets the tar, the other gets the feathers?
There hasn't been any talk of tar and feathers, although...
Look, I've lived in this town my entire life...
longer than most everybody here.
Beg to differ. I'm five weeks older than you.
That means I've been here longer.
I've never bothered anyone, I've kept to myself...
and I've done the best I could.
I pay my taxes, and I help people when I can.
I haven't pitched in on the decorative, pageantry town stuff...
because it all seems insane to me, but I don't get in the way of that, either!
- What's your point, Luke? - His point is...
- Do you mind? - Be my guest.
- If there's a problem... - And I'm not saying there's a problem.
Right. But if there is, give him time to deal with it...
before you storm his diner.
Right, what I'm dealing with, being a problem that I don't necessarily agree...
that I even have!
- Right. - I didn't get that last part.
Lay off him, because what you're all doing stinks.
I'm done here. I'm done with all of you.
I was gonna stay open later in case anyone wanted to eat after the meeting.
Forget that.
His turkey burgers are very dry.
Well, I must say, that was quite exciting.
A little disturbing. I think the whole town needs a field trip.
- You think Luke's okay? - I think he will be.
Just needs to cool off a little.
I'm gonna go check on Dean.
He's been scraping the outline off the cement for two days.
Good idea. There's nothing like your face on his...
to make the cleaning process go faster.
- She's all yours, Mia. - I'll take her.
Bye, hon.
I am just having the most wonderful time.
And I am so proud of you and Rory. You both have just come so far.
Yeah, we have.
Umm... Mia...
- I need to talk to you about something. - Of course. What is it, honey?
It's really hard, and I should have brought it up ages ago...
but Sookie and I are thinking of making a change.
A change?
We're going to open our own inn.
We've talked about it for a long time, and it seems like the time is right.
I love the Independence Inn, and Sookie loves it, too.
- And we both love you so much. - I know.
But it just feels like something we need to do.
- You hate me. - No, I don't.
I'm letting you down. I'm walking out. Being ungrateful.
Lorelai, stop.
Do you think I was naive enough to think that you'd work for me forever?
You and Sookie have more talent for this business than I do...
and I'm very good.
You're going to open an incredible place.
And if you don't let me help you in any way I can, then I'll be very mad.
Of course we need your help. We'd be lost without your help.
Good. I was just wondering, what's the time frame for this big move?
We're waiting for this perfect location to free up.
But you'll have plenty of notice...
and I'll be there to find replacements and train them.
That's very sweet of you, but I'm wondering...
if you could make it sooner rather than later.
What?
Your leaving gives me the perfect excuse to finally sell the place.
Sell the place?
I get offers all the time, lucrative ones, but I never even considered it because...
Of course I love the inn, but I couldn't do that to you.
And now that you have this big change coming up in your life...
it might be time for one in mine.
Oh.
Good.
- Then it all works out good. - Actually, it's very good.
Okay. Well, good.
[Mellow rock music playing]
Hey.
So, I'm working on the menu for the Duncan wedding.
- I can't read that. - I know.
I had it all typed up neat to begin with, but on the drive to work...
I got an inspiration. I started writing in the new stuff.
And it ain't easy writing and driving.
- I can't read that. What is that? - I can't read that, either.
I'll just get you a new one. How did your talk with Mia go?
Fine. Good. She took it like you said she would: classy.
She is classy. Good. That's a relief.
It's a relief, right? You said she took it good?
- Yes, she did. - But you look upset.
- She's gonna sell the inn. - You're kidding.
She says she gets offers, and this might be fortuitous timing for her.
Well, great. Everybody wins.
That's good. Look happy. Okay, this does not look happy.
I don't understand how she can do this.
- What's the big deal? - The big deal is...
she's not gonna sell it to another Mia.
It's gonna be a big chain, they'll come marching in...
with their business models, and their architects and designers...
change everything, the place will lose all its personality and charm.
I hope they don't, but our place is gonna be full of charm.
You don't care what happens here?
Of course I do. But it's not up to me. I can't control that.
The only thing we can control is what our inn's gonna be like.
- I guess. - You guess what?
- We'll see. - We'll see what?
It's shortsighted to write off this place when we haven't even bought Fran's yet.
- And we don't know if we will. - We don't? Why wouldn't we?
Is this about Fran's life expectancy...
No, Sookie, it's about the fact that we haven't looked at other places.
And we don't know if that's the right one. We have to be very practical about this.
But it's the perfect location. We all said so.
You can't get emotionally attached to our decisions about the inn.
This is business. You've got to stay detached.
But we're all so not detached.
- Do you have another location in mind? - Not really.
Wanna look for a new location?
Yeah, like I have all this time to go looking for other locations.
I don't know. Should we try to buy this place?
This place is five times what we can afford.
- So what do we do? - I don't know. It's on hold, I guess.
It's been on hold for years. We were moving forward.
I'm looking at the economy right now...
and I don't know if the timing's good.
That's not fair because I don't know anything about the economy.
Good you hooked up with me, because it's not looking good.
- Okay, what happened? - What do you mean?
We had a vision, we had a plan.
You're the one that got this ball rolling again...
and then I jump on the ball, we're rolling on the ball together...
then you hopped off the ball, and I'm still on the ball!
I'm confused, because I see our vision. And you saw it, too, up until today.
Well, I know you would like things to be simple...
but unfortunately, things are more complicated.
That's why we'd be partners. If something gets heavy...
the other one's there to pick up the slack.
Yes, well, that's great in theory, but I've got to tell you...
my back is aching from all the slack I'm taking up.
- What did I do that's so wrong? - Let's not get into this stuff!
No, get into it!
You're not the most reliable person in the world.
- Or the most punctual. - You've always known that.
But getting into business, it's not so cute.
It could hurt us. You were late for the Fran meeting.
You're constantly changing menus, even after you've started making it.
I don't believe this. Before, it was kudos for attention to detail.
- I was "the maestro." - That's fine for an established place...
but you do that at our place, it could wipe us out.
Profit margins in a new business are slim.
- Stop! Now you're talking down to me. - I'm trying to explain.
Yes, and I don't know why you are, but I don't want to start crying...
because it'll give you one more thing to point at...
to say, "She's too emotional and weak to go into business with."
So I'm leaving.
And I'll see you tomorrow, if I can remember to show up.
- I've got to drop by the market. - But it's your day off.
It's to get my paycheck.
If I don't get it by 4:00, Taylor locks it in a safe.
It's on some kind of timer.
When I complain, he lectures me on promptly putting checks in the bank...
and my head hurts from all the nodding I do, even though I don't listen...
- Go. - I'll just be a minute.
Should you be standing here all alone?
- I hear this is a dangerous corner. - I'm fine.
- Feeling succinct today? - Pretty much.
- Did I do something to offend? - Me? No.
- Ask that same question to Luke. - Meaning?
- You've got this whole town down on him. - How did I do that?
You know how.
I'm familiar with the blue-book laws in this town...
you could be talking about a lot of things.
Dropping a gum wrapper, strolling arm in arm...
with a member of the opposite sex on a Sunday.
JESS: What about it?
You did it. The whole town knows you did it.
- They had a meeting about it. - You actually went to that?
Those things are so To Kill a Mockingbird.
Yes, I went, and Luke went.
When he got there, they ganged up on him.
- They all want you gone. - Bummer.
And he's defending you and paying Taylor back for his lettuce losses.
- His what? - Now Luke's a pariah, all because of you.
What a shock. You don't care about any of this.
I didn't say that.
- Go. I'm tired of talking to you. - Fine.
You care nothing about Luke and his feelings!
You got a second wind?
All he does is stick up for you, and all you do is make his life harder!
You have to when you're trying to be Holden Caulfield, but I think it stinks.
Luke has done a lot for my mom and me, and I don't like to see him attacked.
Okay, second wind over.
Didn't know they were hard on him.
I never pegged you as clueless. My mistake.
Okay, I get it.
I do, I get it.
Don't you at least think it was funny?
- That is so not the point. - Yeah, you thought it was funny.
I got it.
Hey.
Dean, I don't think you two have met.
- This is Jess. This is Dean. - Boyfriend?
- Of course. - Sorry. You didn't say.
- How you doing? - Good.
Good.
- Okay, see you around. - Seems to turn out that way, doesn't it?
Is Grandpa still in Akron?
For Akron's sake, I hope he's moved on to Boise.
[Doorbell ringing]
Hi, we're the daughter and the granddaughter.
- You are majorly crabby. - I just have a headache.
Good! Come. It's all done, and it's great.
Ta-da!
EMILY: What do you think? RORY: It's freaky.
- Freaky? - Just seeing me up on the wall like that.
I like it, though. It's good, I guess.
I should take myself out of the judging process.
I think Richard's gonna love it. It's perfect. Don't you think?
- It turned out better than you thought. - Yeah.
Come on. Say a little more than that.
It's great, Mom. It's just a notch below Rembrandt.
You don't have to take that attitude.
I'd light some sparklers and jump up and down, yelling "yay"...
but I'm out of sparklers, and my feet hurt too much to jump.
But next week, when I have more energy, I'll write a love song for the chandelier!
Mom.
How dare you walk away from me when I'm being a world-class jerk to you?
- The painting's great, Mom, really. - Thank you.
I really like it.
It's so natural that she's reading, which is great.
She's not sitting next to a goose, which is good, and Dad is gonna love it.
It's a good thing you did here.
You can be so harsh, and I don't know where it comes from, or what I've done.
- You did nothing. - I must have done something.
It's just been a bad week.
Sookie and I were moving forward with plans to open our inn...
and we had a huge fight.
We've never had a huge fight, let alone a fight.
Awful things were said. It started when Mia showed up for a visit...
and I told her about our plans.
She's talking about selling the Independence Inn, and it wigged me out.
It's stupid. I don't know.
But it was our home for so long, mine and Rory's.
It's just weird to think that it wouldn't be there...
and Mia wouldn't be there, and I wouldn't be there.
And I just got very upset. Anyway, I'm rambling.
The painting is really great.
Will you accept my apology?
Yes, I will. I've had bad days, too.
- Thank you. - We should get back to Rory.
- Okay, I'm pretty much done. - Thanks for doing this.
I didn't want the rain to destroy your beautiful huppah...
I looked in the yellow pages, and didn't see a huppah waterproof er listing.
How about huppah-goat-figure repairman?
- Gilbert. - What?
We named the goat Gilbert. He's headless. Can you fix him?
Yeah, I got some glue here. I can fix him.
Good.
I'll make some tea.
So, Sookie stopped at the diner this morning.
I asked her how your plans were going at the new inn.
She awkwardly changed the subject to women's basketball.
She's never shown much interest in sports before.
What's going on with that?
Women's basketball is getting super popular.
That's good, I think. The tall girls need an outlet.
We had a fight. A big, humongous fight.
- She's never gonna speak to me again. - What happened?
I just flat-out panicked about the enormity of what we were getting into...
and it clobbered me, and I clobbered Sookie. I'm such a jerk.
- If I cry, will it freak you out? - Totally.
- If I whimper? - How about you suck it up?
- I'll try. - You're as ready as you've ever been.
Oh, Luke.
Do not underestimate the total lack of confidence...
I have in my abilities.
You're the most confident person I know, obnoxiously so.
- Thank you. - I mean in a good way.
- You're good at what you do. - I'm good at doing what I have to do.
When I had to get a job, I got it.
When I had to find a house, I got it.
When I had to get Rory into Chilton, I did it.
But I don't have to leave the Independence Inn.
I don't have to go into business for myself.
I don't have to walk out on that limb...
- and risk everything I've worked for. - Don't do it.
- What? - Just stay where you are.
What is this, reverse psychology?
No, just stay at the inn. You're happy there.
- So you think I can't hack it? - Of course you can hack it.
Great, lip service. That's what I need.
If I start to cry, will that freak you out?
I couldn't stay where I am if I wanted.
Mia is selling the inn...
and that hit me hard, too, maybe harder than the other thing.
I'm gonna be without a home.
What do you mean? This is your home.
No, I mean a home-home, a memory home.
The inn is where Rory took her first step.
It's where I took my first step.
It's more of a home to me than my parents' house ever was.
You're scared, like everybody else when they're taking on something big.
What does everybody do to get through this feeling?
They run in the back, throw up, pass out, then smack their head on the floor.
I did that on the morning I opened the diner.
There is no button to push to get you through this.
You've just got to jump in and be scared and stick with it until it gets fun.
- How long till the diner got fun? - About a year.
And there's no button? Can I pull a lever?
No.
- Turn a knob? - No.
- You just jump? - You just jump.
- I want to do it. - You should do it.
Check it out.
- Gilbert, you're not worse for the wear. - I'll reattach him.
How did this happen, anyway?
Something must've smacked into it with a hedger.
Well, now no one will ever know. Women's basketball is in season.
You might want to run that news past Sookie.
Maybe you can go to a game or something.
Yeah, or something. Thanks.
Hi.
Meatloaf, mashed potatoes, stuffing: comfort food?
It would be good with the weather changing.
If you don't think it's right, I can make something else.
Although I'm on-schedule and on-budget, so a change would throw things off.
No, everything looks great.
- Sookie. - Yeah?
I'm sorry about what happened.
I said stupid things, and I said them for reasons...
that have nothing to do with you, I hate myself for doing it...
and I know you do, too, and I am sorry.
- It's okay. - No, it isn't.
You are a brilliant chef and to do things differently...
from how you do them now is ridiculous.
You don't tell a great violinist to hold his bow differently.
You don't tell a great cymbal player to crash his cymbals differently.
- There are great cymbal players? - Theoretically.
- Okay, well, it's okay. - I want to go ahead with our plans.
Forget my freakout. Pretend it didn't happen.
Let's move forward.
- You don't want to move forward? - I do, but I need your promise...
- you're not gonna lose it on me again. - I promise.
'Cause I couldn't take losing a business partner...
and my best friend in one fell swoop. It'd be too much.
I will place my hand on whatever you want and swear...
that you can trust that I will not lose confidence in our dream.
That's enough. I know you don't like to put your hand on things.
We're gonna give it our best shot.
And if we go down after two years...
It'll be the most exciting two years of our lives.
MAN: How about antiques?
Absolutely. It's the best place for antiques.
Michel will have a map for you if you need it.
Thank you.
- Hello. Can I help you? - No, thank you. I just...
Yes?
I just wanted to meet the woman who helped raise my daughter.
- Emily. - Yes, I'm Emily Gilmore.
I've wanted to meet you, too, for a very long time.
- That's nice. - Would you like to sit down?
- Have lunch with me, won't you? - No, thank you.
You have a lovely place here. It's a beautiful hotel.
- Not a home, but still a beautiful hotel. - Sometimes home is where your hat is.
- Or where your family is. - Yes, that, too.
You sure you don't want some tea?
Tea usually makes things like this less awkward.
There's things to hold and stir.
- I don't know why I came here. - You wanted to meet me.
After all these years, it makes no sense.
- I expected you to come eventually. - Did you?
And what did you expect to say to me when I did come?
When Lorelai showed up on my porch that day...
with a tiny baby in her arms, I thought to myself:
"What if this were my daughter..."
"And she was cold and scared and needed a place to live?"
"What would I want for her?"
And then I thought, "I'd want her to find somebody..."
"To take her in and make her safe and help her find her way."
That's funny.
I would've wanted her to find someone who would send her home.
I have to go.
I'd appreciate if you didn't mention this to Lorelai.
I won't.
Do you have pictures? From back then?
I'll send you a boxful tomorrow.
Thank you.
Man, it's such a relief to have that Sookie thing fixed.
- I hate fighting with friends. - That's what enemies are for.
God knows we have our share of those.
People who eat crunchy food with their mouths open.
People who dog-ear library books.
- People who spit when they talk. - You got me in the eye!
- You totally did. - You're full of it.
Luke, where's my toast?
It's gonna take a while. My big toaster's broken, so I got stuck...
with just this dinky one. How did that happen?
- You're gonna break that. - It was broken before.
It must've got better.
Inanimate objects don't usually get better.
- Did you fix this? - Please.
I have no idea what you're babbling about. I don't fix things.
- But yesterday... - I've got school.