1 00:00:12,914 --> 00:00:15,060 Mail! Hurry up! Where are your shoes? 2 00:00:15,246 --> 00:00:16,723 - I'll get them later. - Get them now. 3 00:00:16,868 --> 00:00:18,901 - Why? - If your Harvard acceptance letter... 4 00:00:19,075 --> 00:00:20,982 is in that mail, and you don't have shoes on... 5 00:00:21,156 --> 00:00:22,871 we can't run off immediately to celebrate. 6 00:00:23,029 --> 00:00:26,652 All our happiness will be on hold until you come back and put on your shoes. 7 00:00:26,901 --> 00:00:28,536 Do you want to put a hold on happiness? 8 00:00:28,691 --> 00:00:30,448 What's the difference if we wait then or now? 9 00:00:30,523 --> 00:00:32,828 - Because we're not happy now. - Right, okay! 10 00:00:33,311 --> 00:00:35,537 No laces, get them on your feet! 11 00:00:36,766 --> 00:00:37,959 Let's go! 12 00:00:42,261 --> 00:00:43,259 Kirk! 13 00:00:43,386 --> 00:00:45,373 - Good morning. - Is there an envelope in there? 14 00:00:45,549 --> 00:00:46,901 A big envelope, not a little one. 15 00:00:47,048 --> 00:00:49,762 A big one means she's in, otherwise she needs to marry rich. 16 00:00:49,963 --> 00:00:51,314 Just one second, please. 17 00:00:51,461 --> 00:00:53,935 Aren't you supposed to go through the mail before you get here? 18 00:00:53,959 --> 00:00:56,991 Some work that way. I think it takes the spontaneity out of the job. 19 00:00:57,205 --> 00:00:59,241 - Need some help? - Sorry. Federal law prohibits it. 20 00:00:59,286 --> 00:01:00,718 Any chance you could go faster? 21 00:01:00,868 --> 00:01:03,582 You've got a girl's future in that sack of yours, Santa. 22 00:01:03,783 --> 00:01:05,381 - Thank you for adding the Santa. - Anytime. 23 00:01:05,405 --> 00:01:08,869 - You know what I've noticed? - It wouldn't be mail with our names on it? 24 00:01:09,110 --> 00:01:12,778 - People don't slow down anymore. - Guess I've got time to tie my shoes. 25 00:01:13,023 --> 00:01:14,818 Cobble yourself a new pair, Daniel Day-Lewis. 26 00:01:14,980 --> 00:01:17,807 No one stops to smell a nice flower, or look at a puppy. 27 00:01:18,019 --> 00:01:19,165 You're absolutely right. 28 00:01:19,309 --> 00:01:22,534 No one stops to ask how you're doing, "Is your family well?" 29 00:01:22,764 --> 00:01:26,194 - "Did you see that game last night?" - Yeah, people suck. Is that ours? 30 00:01:26,427 --> 00:01:28,334 - Mrs. Rita Flora. Nope. - Rats! 31 00:01:28,508 --> 00:01:30,780 - It could still be in there. - Didn't she die? 32 00:01:30,964 --> 00:01:34,155 - While you were delivering her mail? - She did die, last week. 33 00:01:34,378 --> 00:01:36,533 They're supposed to put your mail on hold when you die. 34 00:01:36,584 --> 00:01:38,540 - Let's go back inside. - What about the envelope? 35 00:01:38,582 --> 00:01:40,854 We'll check back on our way to Luke's for dinner. 36 00:01:41,039 --> 00:01:42,628 Hey, one for Kirk! 37 00:02:39,774 --> 00:02:43,283 It's frustrating. There have been so many great songs written post Cobain... 38 00:02:43,520 --> 00:02:45,596 but try and convince Zack of that. He's impossible... 39 00:02:45,727 --> 00:02:48,191 stubborn, and just a tad intellectually challenged. 40 00:02:48,391 --> 00:02:49,389 Lane, honey... 41 00:02:49,514 --> 00:02:52,103 - could you with the sticks... I can't... - Sorry, nervous habit. 42 00:02:52,303 --> 00:02:55,017 - Mom's a little crabby this morning. - Not crabby, I'm very ill. 43 00:02:55,217 --> 00:02:56,966 - With allergies. - Deadly allergies. 44 00:02:57,133 --> 00:03:00,087 Didn't mean to minimize your condition. Shall we make funeral arrangements? 45 00:03:00,295 --> 00:03:02,970 Yes. Make sure you can get your money back in case this stuff works. 46 00:03:03,043 --> 00:03:04,758 - Where did you get those? - In your room. 47 00:03:04,916 --> 00:03:07,380 - These expired in '98. - So what, I should take four? 48 00:03:07,580 --> 00:03:09,647 Yes, that's exactly my point. 49 00:03:09,870 --> 00:03:11,698 - New menus. - Very fancy. 50 00:03:11,910 --> 00:03:13,863 - Why did you get new menus? - It was time. 51 00:03:14,032 --> 00:03:17,655 But I had made little doodles with my name hidden in them, like Hirschfeld. 52 00:03:17,904 --> 00:03:20,254 - Sorry. - It took me years to hit every menu. 53 00:03:20,443 --> 00:03:22,998 These have super-heavy plastic over them. How'll I doodle? 54 00:03:23,190 --> 00:03:26,778 Has it occurred to you that super-heavy plastic is to discourage the doodling? 55 00:03:27,020 --> 00:03:28,777 - This looks different. - It's not different. 56 00:03:28,893 --> 00:03:30,451 - Totally different. - Not that different. 57 00:03:30,475 --> 00:03:32,428 - There are more salads. - Three more salads. 58 00:03:32,598 --> 00:03:34,710 - Who needs three more salads? - One was enough. 59 00:03:34,888 --> 00:03:36,477 - Nicole said... - "Nicole said." 60 00:03:36,636 --> 00:03:39,305 There wasn't much for her to eat on the menu, so I just... 61 00:03:39,508 --> 00:03:41,654 You added three more salads just for Nicole. 62 00:03:41,839 --> 00:03:44,474 When I asked you to add chili-topped Pringles, you said no. 63 00:03:44,670 --> 00:03:45,668 And I stand by that. 64 00:03:45,794 --> 00:03:47,827 Nicole gets three salads, and I still get a "no"? 65 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:50,435 - Because Nicole's his girlfriend. - She is not my girlfriend. 66 00:03:50,539 --> 00:03:52,731 Nicole is the woman that I am dating. That's it. 67 00:03:52,912 --> 00:03:55,467 What happens when you get serious? The whole place goes soy? 68 00:03:55,660 --> 00:03:56,658 Just order, please. 69 00:03:56,784 --> 00:03:58,460 Did you take off the Monte Cristo sandwich? 70 00:03:58,531 --> 00:03:59,564 No! 71 00:03:59,697 --> 00:04:01,923 You did. You took off the Monte Cristo sandwich. 72 00:04:02,111 --> 00:04:03,667 I omitted a few obsolete dishes. 73 00:04:03,818 --> 00:04:06,248 I can't believe Nicole made you take off the Monte Cristo. 74 00:04:06,441 --> 00:04:09,745 - She's got you menu-whipped. - She does not have me menu-whipped. 75 00:04:09,979 --> 00:04:13,965 I took off a disgusting sandwich no one ever ordered, including the three of you. 76 00:04:14,225 --> 00:04:16,610 But just having it there made us feel we always could. 77 00:04:16,805 --> 00:04:18,157 - It was comforting. - Like soup. 78 00:04:18,304 --> 00:04:21,495 Exactly. It was comforting, like deep-fried ham and cheese soup. 79 00:04:21,718 --> 00:04:24,909 Even though I never ordered it, I talked about ordering it, haven't I? 80 00:04:25,131 --> 00:04:26,199 On several occasions. 81 00:04:26,339 --> 00:04:29,802 You've not only eliminated a sandwich, you've eliminated a conversation piece. 82 00:04:30,043 --> 00:04:31,872 - Now what will we talk about? - Fine. 83 00:04:36,204 --> 00:04:39,668 Here. Old menus. Everything's there. Knock yourselves out. 84 00:04:40,283 --> 00:04:42,429 How come everybody else gets a new menu? 85 00:04:47,401 --> 00:04:49,230 I feel much better now. 86 00:04:49,941 --> 00:04:53,642 I must say, I'm glad to see that simply because the SATs are over... 87 00:04:53,896 --> 00:04:57,847 most of you are still taking your class work seriously. Most of you. 88 00:04:58,891 --> 00:05:02,003 Michael Mason. Worth every wrong answer. 89 00:05:02,637 --> 00:05:04,987 Before we continue, I would like to remind you... 90 00:05:05,177 --> 00:05:08,958 that the Chilton Bicentennial celebration takes place next week. 91 00:05:09,464 --> 00:05:10,736 Number four? 92 00:05:10,880 --> 00:05:12,520 - The official sign-up sheet... - Well done. 93 00:05:12,544 --> 00:05:14,690 For the speech contest is in the back of the room. 94 00:05:14,876 --> 00:05:17,067 The contest will be held on Friday and the winner... 95 00:05:17,248 --> 00:05:19,520 will present their speech at the ceremony next week. 96 00:05:19,704 --> 00:05:23,327 Some of you may be saying to yourself, "I already turned in my college application." 97 00:05:23,576 --> 00:05:26,483 "Why should I spend all this time entering a speech competition..." 98 00:05:26,698 --> 00:05:29,013 "Which if I win, means I have to give up a Friday night..." 99 00:05:29,154 --> 00:05:31,981 "When I can't even use it for my résumé. What's in it for me?" 100 00:05:32,442 --> 00:05:35,270 - Wow, that was spooky. - The speech will not go on your record. 101 00:05:35,480 --> 00:05:38,830 However, the Bicentennial is going to be quite a prestigious affair. 102 00:05:39,060 --> 00:05:41,808 Past alumni and faculty will be there. Some of these people... 103 00:05:42,016 --> 00:05:44,690 are now professors at the same schools you're planning on attending. 104 00:05:44,805 --> 00:05:47,440 Plus, C-SPAN will be broadcasting the event live. 105 00:05:47,844 --> 00:05:51,228 All in all, it's shaping up to be a very exciting event. Think about it. 106 00:05:51,881 --> 00:05:54,153 I almost forgot to welcome back Brad Langford. 107 00:05:54,337 --> 00:05:56,086 He returns to us, fresh from Broadway... 108 00:05:56,253 --> 00:06:00,034 where he's completed a successful run of Into the Woods. Welcome back, Brad. 109 00:06:00,707 --> 00:06:02,422 Thank you, it's good to be back. 110 00:06:02,579 --> 00:06:03,897 Sit down, Mary Martin. 111 00:06:04,036 --> 00:06:07,545 All right, everyone. Have a lovely rest of the day. I'll see you tomorrow. 112 00:06:09,864 --> 00:06:12,328 - Rory, hi. - Hey, Brad, good to have you back. 113 00:06:12,529 --> 00:06:14,562 - How's Broadway? - It's great, but Nathan Lane... 114 00:06:14,734 --> 00:06:16,334 - is a very bitter man. - I've heard that. 115 00:06:16,358 --> 00:06:19,072 Even more than the actual experience of performing live... 116 00:06:19,272 --> 00:06:21,213 the confidence it gives you in every aspect 117 00:06:21,225 --> 00:06:23,223 of your life, that's the most amazing thing. 118 00:06:23,476 --> 00:06:26,145 - Well, you do look rather confident. - It's the new me. 119 00:06:26,349 --> 00:06:29,461 - So, Brad. Broadway. I must know. - Yes? 120 00:06:29,679 --> 00:06:30,904 Did you get to keep your makeup? 121 00:06:30,928 --> 00:06:32,610 What about costumes because that seems great? 122 00:06:32,634 --> 00:06:34,231 - Unless you're doing Les Mis. - Or Cats. 123 00:06:34,341 --> 00:06:36,135 Furry spandex with the tail and jazz shoes? 124 00:06:36,297 --> 00:06:37,569 - So raw. - So, do you? 125 00:06:37,712 --> 00:06:39,268 - Do I... - Get to keep the makeup. 126 00:06:39,419 --> 00:06:41,054 - I didn't ask. - You didn't ask? 127 00:06:41,210 --> 00:06:42,924 How do you leave the house every morning... 128 00:06:43,083 --> 00:06:44,640 and not have a piano fall on your head? 129 00:06:44,706 --> 00:06:46,579 I make a left on Federal, and then... 130 00:06:46,746 --> 00:06:49,130 Brad, that really didn't require an answer. 131 00:06:49,327 --> 00:06:51,155 - You're blocking the list. - What's that? 132 00:06:51,325 --> 00:06:53,834 Will we please move, so you may sign up for the speech contest? 133 00:06:54,030 --> 00:06:55,388 Why, yes, Paris, we'd be happy to. 134 00:06:55,488 --> 00:06:57,843 How kind of you to phrase it in that very respectful manner. 135 00:06:57,944 --> 00:07:00,533 You going to move? Or do you need a five, six, seven, eight. 136 00:07:00,732 --> 00:07:03,606 This time on stage has been a very growing experience for me. 137 00:07:03,812 --> 00:07:05,848 I'm no longer intimidated by you or people like you. 138 00:07:06,019 --> 00:07:08,403 I'm thrilled to hear it, Chita Rivera. Move. 139 00:07:09,557 --> 00:07:11,749 Well, Gilmore, I hope you're signing up, too. 140 00:07:11,930 --> 00:07:14,321 It's my last chance to trounce you at anything at this school. 141 00:07:14,345 --> 00:07:16,536 My decision to do this will in no way depend on you. 142 00:07:16,717 --> 00:07:18,943 I'm only saying it won't be a satisfying victory... 143 00:07:19,131 --> 00:07:21,766 just beating Jerome Robbins and the rest of the losers here. 144 00:07:21,962 --> 00:07:23,869 I'd really like to take you down, also. 145 00:07:25,043 --> 00:07:27,110 She is really up on her theater references. 146 00:07:27,706 --> 00:07:30,580 This is outrageous. I am beyond offended. 147 00:07:30,786 --> 00:07:33,932 Did you tell them I'm beyond offended? Sending my food back? 148 00:07:34,159 --> 00:07:36,828 That's it, get their names. They're never eating here again. 149 00:07:37,031 --> 00:07:40,904 - Wait. What wine was he drinking? - 1952 Château Pétrus Bordeaux. 150 00:07:41,152 --> 00:07:43,980 - Okay. Never mind. - Is everything okay? 151 00:07:44,191 --> 00:07:47,939 No. We have got to have a better screening system for customers here. 152 00:07:48,187 --> 00:07:51,299 Yes. We do, since we currently have no screening system for customers here. 153 00:07:51,517 --> 00:07:53,390 They sent it back. My food, my four-star... 154 00:07:53,557 --> 00:07:56,589 "You haven't lived until you've eaten their food," says Ruth Reichl. 155 00:07:56,803 --> 00:07:57,903 What did they say was wrong? 156 00:07:57,927 --> 00:08:00,835 You name it. Too salty, too hot, too sewery. 157 00:08:01,049 --> 00:08:03,082 Honey, calm down. Some people are just stupid. 158 00:08:03,256 --> 00:08:06,799 Yes, they are stupid. And stupid people have stupid friends... 159 00:08:07,043 --> 00:08:09,508 and they all have to come here and be stupid together. 160 00:08:09,708 --> 00:08:13,376 Don't be mad at me, but I have to ask. You sure nothing's wrong with the food? 161 00:08:13,621 --> 00:08:15,257 Of course, nothing's wrong with the food. 162 00:08:15,327 --> 00:08:17,916 You don't think I would know if something was wrong? 163 00:08:18,117 --> 00:08:21,341 You don't think I tasted every last dish that was sent back? 164 00:08:21,572 --> 00:08:25,683 I tasted it. Manuel tasted it. Rico tasted it. Louella tasted it. 165 00:08:25,942 --> 00:08:28,611 We all tasted it, and it tastes fine. 166 00:08:29,356 --> 00:08:31,740 - Okay, do you mind? - You don't believe me? 167 00:08:31,937 --> 00:08:34,650 I believe you completely, but it's easier for me... 168 00:08:34,851 --> 00:08:37,724 to take on those who doubt you if I've actually tasted it myself. 169 00:08:37,931 --> 00:08:39,362 Fine, go ahead. 170 00:08:41,885 --> 00:08:44,759 - Now I get the sewery reference. - What are you talking about? 171 00:08:45,674 --> 00:08:47,865 Just send them out some free desserts. 172 00:08:48,046 --> 00:08:51,158 Free desserts? You're giving the stupid people free desserts? 173 00:08:51,377 --> 00:08:52,933 - I love you. - I love you, too. 174 00:08:53,083 --> 00:08:55,547 - Okay. I love your food, you know that. - Yeah? 175 00:08:55,789 --> 00:08:57,185 But I have to tell you... 176 00:08:57,329 --> 00:09:00,361 that bite I had over there is one of the worst things I've ever tasted. 177 00:09:00,576 --> 00:09:02,133 - I've tasted some very bad things. - What? 178 00:09:02,157 --> 00:09:05,144 Sure you didn't accidentally drop something in the food tonight... 179 00:09:05,363 --> 00:09:07,158 like strychnine or manure? 180 00:09:07,319 --> 00:09:09,874 No, I tasted each dish every step of the way. 181 00:09:10,067 --> 00:09:12,531 The base, the stock, the sauce, the seasoning. 182 00:09:12,731 --> 00:09:16,354 Are you sick? A flu, a cold, even allergies can throw your taste buds off. 183 00:09:16,602 --> 00:09:20,031 No, I'm not sick. I had a little bug last week but nothing today. 184 00:09:20,265 --> 00:09:23,694 I think you should get a checkup. Maybe it was more than a little bug. 185 00:09:23,929 --> 00:09:27,199 - The food was really bad? - Honey, it was just... 186 00:09:27,592 --> 00:09:30,181 - Yeah, it was really that bad. - I don't understand it. 187 00:09:30,381 --> 00:09:34,526 I'm sure it was nothing. Have Manuel help with the tasting for the rest of the night. 188 00:09:34,834 --> 00:09:36,980 Paris is going to drive me completely insane. 189 00:09:37,166 --> 00:09:38,960 - That looks good. - No! 190 00:09:39,122 --> 00:09:40,120 Jeez! 191 00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:43,631 Be happy you're loved, hon. I've got a Kit Kat in my purse. 192 00:09:43,952 --> 00:09:44,950 What's up? 193 00:09:45,075 --> 00:09:47,391 I don't know. It's weird. Sookie must be sick or something. 194 00:09:47,572 --> 00:09:49,409 - Sookie never gets sick. - No. She'll be fine. 195 00:09:49,488 --> 00:09:52,520 - So tell me, what did Paris do now? - It's nothing, it's just Paris. 196 00:09:52,776 --> 00:09:56,841 There's this speech contest for the Bicentennial. I wasn't going to enter it... 197 00:09:57,105 --> 00:10:01,216 but with the, "It's my last chance to crush you before graduation" comment... 198 00:10:01,476 --> 00:10:04,190 I want to enter, I want to win, I want to dance around her saying... 199 00:10:04,390 --> 00:10:05,741 "I win, I win." 200 00:10:05,889 --> 00:10:07,405 You're getting more like me every day. 201 00:10:07,429 --> 00:10:09,584 I know it's petty and stupid. I should just ignore her. 202 00:10:09,718 --> 00:10:12,466 - Yes. That is what you should do. - Okay. That is what I will do. 203 00:10:12,673 --> 00:10:14,829 - Why weren't you entering the contest? - I don't know. 204 00:10:14,922 --> 00:10:17,908 - You love doing school things. - I don't, when it involves... 205 00:10:18,127 --> 00:10:20,238 the entire school staring at me while I'm doing it. 206 00:10:20,416 --> 00:10:23,448 You gave your vice presidential acceptance speech in front of the school. 207 00:10:23,663 --> 00:10:24,934 Yeah, but I had to do that. 208 00:10:25,745 --> 00:10:29,492 So you're just going to go through life only doing what you have to do? 209 00:10:29,741 --> 00:10:31,058 Well, no. 210 00:10:31,198 --> 00:10:34,866 Because a person who wants to be a foreign correspondent for a living... 211 00:10:35,110 --> 00:10:39,175 should embrace the opportunity to practice her speeching skills in public. 212 00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:43,063 You had the motherly edge going till you made the "speeching skills" comment. 213 00:10:43,311 --> 00:10:44,787 - You know what I mean. - I know. 214 00:10:44,934 --> 00:10:47,569 - Okay, I'll go out for the speech. - Good. 215 00:10:47,806 --> 00:10:51,508 And if I get to do the "I win, I win" dance, then so much the better. 216 00:10:51,761 --> 00:10:53,555 For everyone involved. 217 00:10:56,048 --> 00:10:57,320 Oh, my God. 218 00:10:59,879 --> 00:11:01,786 - You're pregnant! - I'm pregnant! 219 00:11:03,084 --> 00:11:04,991 Oh, my God. I'm pregnant! 220 00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:06,914 I'm pregnant! I'm pregnant! 221 00:11:17,570 --> 00:11:18,603 Huh! 222 00:11:18,736 --> 00:11:19,734 What? 223 00:11:19,860 --> 00:11:23,050 That looks like more than 4,000 words, but I'm sure you counted them. 224 00:11:23,273 --> 00:11:24,624 - I did. - Good. 225 00:11:25,521 --> 00:11:28,711 Hey, Shelly. Good luck, although I'm sure you're going to be great. 226 00:11:28,934 --> 00:11:32,760 After all, there's hardly anything on stage for you to trip over this time, right? 227 00:11:35,011 --> 00:11:36,044 [Paris singing] 228 00:11:36,177 --> 00:11:39,447 I've got my beans at Grandma's house, my magic beans at Grandma's house 229 00:11:39,674 --> 00:11:40,707 Stop it. 230 00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:43,270 I'll take my beans, my magic beans, who's got the beans? 231 00:11:43,461 --> 00:11:44,899 We need some beans, I love the beans 232 00:11:44,961 --> 00:11:45,994 Can't rattle me. 233 00:11:46,126 --> 00:11:47,761 Into the woods at Grandma's house 234 00:11:47,916 --> 00:11:49,551 Look, I'm proud of my part, okay? 235 00:11:49,706 --> 00:11:51,773 The New York Times called me "winningly naive." 236 00:11:51,954 --> 00:11:53,544 Into the woods, into the woods 237 00:11:53,702 --> 00:11:55,020 Stop it right now. 238 00:11:55,159 --> 00:11:56,873 I know. That is one annoying song. 239 00:11:57,032 --> 00:11:59,416 Leave Brad alone. And stop terrorizing everyone here. 240 00:11:59,613 --> 00:12:01,441 Terrorizing? What are you talking about? 241 00:12:01,611 --> 00:12:03,405 I'm simply talking to my fellow classmates. 242 00:12:03,567 --> 00:12:05,763 You're scaring them into doing badly, so you win easier. 243 00:12:05,940 --> 00:12:07,292 - I am not. - Really? 244 00:12:07,438 --> 00:12:11,470 - That magical bean recital back there? - I was trying to give him human contact. 245 00:12:11,726 --> 00:12:14,076 He's been talking only to a cow for a year-and-a-half. 246 00:12:14,265 --> 00:12:16,301 There was a person inside that cow. I told you that! 247 00:12:16,389 --> 00:12:18,456 - Brad Langford. - I'm winningly naive. 248 00:12:18,719 --> 00:12:19,717 Okay. 249 00:12:21,218 --> 00:12:23,251 Brad. You got your beans? 250 00:12:23,423 --> 00:12:25,649 Stop. Go, Brad, you'll be great. 251 00:12:28,794 --> 00:12:31,587 It's amazing how you hide those bolts on the side of your neck. 252 00:12:31,791 --> 00:12:33,388 What is that? Just really good cover-up? 253 00:12:33,414 --> 00:12:36,798 Rory, lower your voice. People are trying to concentrate. 254 00:12:37,494 --> 00:12:38,925 - Wow. - Wow what? 255 00:12:39,076 --> 00:12:41,347 - Your speech must really suck. - Excuse me? 256 00:12:41,531 --> 00:12:44,483 If you're going to all this trouble to psyche out everyone else... 257 00:12:44,695 --> 00:12:46,648 then you must know you have a loser there. 258 00:12:46,817 --> 00:12:49,168 Mind games. Not your forte, cupcake. 259 00:12:49,357 --> 00:12:51,866 Stick to talking to losers off the train tracks, will you? 260 00:12:52,063 --> 00:12:54,016 - You're horrible. - And I'm going to win. 261 00:12:55,268 --> 00:12:59,299 Sherry, hi. Man, those braces are shiny. 262 00:13:00,554 --> 00:13:02,064 [Cell phone ringing] 263 00:13:06,965 --> 00:13:08,838 LORELAI: Hello. SOOKIE: It's me. 264 00:13:09,005 --> 00:13:10,231 [Lorelai laughing] 265 00:13:10,670 --> 00:13:12,737 Every detail, leave nothing out. 266 00:13:12,918 --> 00:13:16,143 - Well, I told him. - Did he flip, did he cry, did he scream? 267 00:13:16,372 --> 00:13:18,405 - No. - No? Did he hear you? 268 00:13:18,621 --> 00:13:21,005 - He heard me. - I don't understand, what happened? 269 00:13:21,202 --> 00:13:24,154 I came home, I got some flowers, I chilled some glasses... 270 00:13:24,365 --> 00:13:26,829 I put some music on, and I opened a bottle of champagne. 271 00:13:27,030 --> 00:13:29,698 The cork broke the window, so I had to clean up the glass... 272 00:13:29,902 --> 00:13:32,014 and then I taped some cardboard over the hole. 273 00:13:32,191 --> 00:13:35,065 I knocked over the bottle of champagne, so I had to get the mop. 274 00:13:35,271 --> 00:13:36,906 I am hitting the fast-forward button. 275 00:13:37,061 --> 00:13:39,491 So he came home, and I handed him a beer... 276 00:13:39,684 --> 00:13:42,636 I smiled, I kissed him, and I told him he was gonna be a daddy. 277 00:13:42,848 --> 00:13:44,924 - Then he did what? - Then he got out the calculator. 278 00:13:45,012 --> 00:13:46,045 What? 279 00:13:46,178 --> 00:13:48,165 He's been crunching numbers for two hours. 280 00:13:48,342 --> 00:13:49,852 - He didn't say anything? - No. 281 00:13:50,008 --> 00:13:52,960 Mr. I-want-four-in-four hears he can check off number one... 282 00:13:53,171 --> 00:13:54,920 - and he says nothing? - Okay. Not nothing. 283 00:13:55,086 --> 00:13:58,118 - Thank you. - Every 15 minutes he says, "Oh, boy." 284 00:13:58,332 --> 00:13:59,808 "Oh, boy," like, "Oh, boy!" 285 00:13:59,956 --> 00:14:02,148 No, "Oh, boy," like, "Oh, boy." 286 00:14:02,328 --> 00:14:04,634 JACKSON: Oh, boy! SOOKIE: [Whispering] Did you hear that? 287 00:14:04,827 --> 00:14:06,496 Well, maybe he's in shock. 288 00:14:06,658 --> 00:14:07,929 Oh, boy! 289 00:14:08,073 --> 00:14:09,186 Maybe. 290 00:14:10,238 --> 00:14:12,907 I'd go in there and take that calculator away from him. 291 00:14:13,110 --> 00:14:16,460 - This wasn't how it was supposed to go. - I know, sweetie, but give it time. 292 00:14:16,690 --> 00:14:18,996 - It's a big thing. - He said he wanted this. 293 00:14:19,187 --> 00:14:21,175 He loves you. He wants this. 294 00:14:21,477 --> 00:14:23,112 Oh, boy! 295 00:14:23,891 --> 00:14:26,526 - Hang in there, I'll call you later. - I'll be here. 296 00:14:28,595 --> 00:14:32,467 Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Oh, boy! 297 00:14:45,163 --> 00:14:46,797 - It's right there. - Just a second. 298 00:14:46,953 --> 00:14:48,702 - I see it. Can I just... - I can do it! 299 00:14:48,867 --> 00:14:49,900 It's right there! 300 00:14:50,033 --> 00:14:52,906 You are yelling at me, and that is not the way to get results. 301 00:14:53,114 --> 00:14:54,227 You keep passing it. 302 00:14:54,363 --> 00:14:56,918 - You are making me crazy. - Dean, I just need... 303 00:14:57,110 --> 00:15:00,096 - That's my water bill. - He's been down there for 20 minutes. 304 00:15:00,315 --> 00:15:02,063 You have to sort the mail first. 305 00:15:02,230 --> 00:15:05,455 Everyone's always telling me what to do. Everybody else is always right. 306 00:15:05,685 --> 00:15:08,433 I'm sorry, but I'm the mail carrier in this town... 307 00:15:08,641 --> 00:15:10,866 and I will carry the mail the way I carry the mail. 308 00:15:11,055 --> 00:15:12,732 If you don't like that, then you carry it. 309 00:15:12,803 --> 00:15:15,029 You'll have to apply for the job first and get hired. 310 00:15:15,218 --> 00:15:17,965 There's a test, and it is a hard test, my friend. 311 00:15:18,173 --> 00:15:19,444 Paper cut. 312 00:15:19,588 --> 00:15:21,860 I need some of that non-drowsy allergy medicine stuff. 313 00:15:22,044 --> 00:15:23,839 - Did you check in the back? - Yeah, nothing. 314 00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:25,068 Then we're probably out. 315 00:15:25,208 --> 00:15:27,843 I could tell you when they'll be in but I haven't gotten mail. 316 00:15:28,039 --> 00:15:29,072 Shut up! 317 00:15:29,204 --> 00:15:32,395 Never mind. I'll get some in Hartford. Could you get my water bill for me? 318 00:15:32,618 --> 00:15:33,969 I'll do my best. 319 00:15:34,116 --> 00:15:36,546 I'm giving you five minutes, then I'm getting the mop. 320 00:15:36,738 --> 00:15:37,737 You will not touch this. 321 00:15:37,862 --> 00:15:40,417 This is the property of the United States government. 322 00:15:52,016 --> 00:15:55,240 Show me the difference, people. Why can't I pick one? 323 00:15:55,471 --> 00:15:58,264 On sale. That's it. I'm done. 324 00:16:00,257 --> 00:16:01,290 - Max. - Lorelai. 325 00:16:01,423 --> 00:16:02,616 - Hi. - Hi, back. 326 00:16:02,756 --> 00:16:04,550 I didn't know you had a cold. 327 00:16:04,712 --> 00:16:09,254 - I just recently found out myself. - Well, wow. You. Hi. 328 00:16:10,955 --> 00:16:11,988 How've you been? 329 00:16:12,121 --> 00:16:13,439 - I've been good. - Good. 330 00:16:13,578 --> 00:16:15,929 - I've been in California. - Well, cowabunga, dude. 331 00:16:16,117 --> 00:16:17,946 Yes, that's my official California name. 332 00:16:18,115 --> 00:16:19,750 So, California? 333 00:16:19,906 --> 00:16:21,822 Stanford, actually. I was teaching a class there. 334 00:16:21,945 --> 00:16:24,181 Good. It's about time that dump got some decent teachers. 335 00:16:24,359 --> 00:16:27,505 Yes, they're really trying to turn the place around. 336 00:16:27,732 --> 00:16:30,445 If you're living in California, what are you doing here? 337 00:16:30,645 --> 00:16:33,393 - This place has the best selection... - In Hartford. 338 00:16:33,601 --> 00:16:36,985 My class ended, and I thought I'd come back for the Chilton Bicentennial. 339 00:16:37,431 --> 00:16:39,304 What are you doing here in Hartford? 340 00:16:39,471 --> 00:16:42,060 - Friday night? - The infamous Gilmore dinners. 341 00:16:42,259 --> 00:16:45,007 - How's that going? - Great. We had to add on an extra room... 342 00:16:45,214 --> 00:16:47,486 for all the emotional baggage. Other than that... 343 00:16:47,671 --> 00:16:49,737 - there's been no bloodshed. - I'm glad to hear it. 344 00:16:49,918 --> 00:16:50,951 And Rory's good? 345 00:16:51,084 --> 00:16:54,354 She's the Encyclopedia Britannica definition of "Good." 346 00:16:54,581 --> 00:16:55,932 - Grades? - Perfect. 347 00:16:56,079 --> 00:16:58,032 - Same boyfriend? - Different boyfriend. 348 00:16:58,202 --> 00:16:59,473 - Really? - Yeah. 349 00:16:59,617 --> 00:17:01,093 - You hate him. - No, I don't. 350 00:17:01,241 --> 00:17:03,830 - You really hate him. - I smile. I say hi. 351 00:17:04,029 --> 00:17:06,618 - I let him eat the good cookies. - You want to have him killed. 352 00:17:06,819 --> 00:17:09,931 - Only if I get a really good price. - She's young. She'll move on. 353 00:17:10,150 --> 00:17:13,102 - She's got college next year. - Great. Frat boys, I cannot wait. 354 00:17:13,312 --> 00:17:16,026 - Just get a keg. Keeps them distracted. - Thanks for the advice. 355 00:17:16,227 --> 00:17:19,259 - I'll lock her in a tower when I get home. - Glad I could help. 356 00:17:19,473 --> 00:17:21,779 Well, listen, I have this dinner I have to get to. 357 00:17:21,971 --> 00:17:24,765 Yeah. Me, too. 358 00:17:25,759 --> 00:17:27,955 - It was nice to see you. - It was nice to see you, too. 359 00:17:28,132 --> 00:17:29,130 Bye. 360 00:17:30,047 --> 00:17:31,045 Bye. 361 00:17:40,537 --> 00:17:41,570 You're here. 362 00:17:41,703 --> 00:17:43,974 You are by far the most masculine looking maid... 363 00:17:44,158 --> 00:17:45,755 - my parents ever had. - It's chaos here. 364 00:17:45,906 --> 00:17:48,495 The second maid called in sick. The first is busy with dinner. 365 00:17:48,696 --> 00:17:50,206 And your mother is at the hospital. 366 00:17:50,361 --> 00:17:52,711 Her DAR group suffered a surfeit of strokes this week. 367 00:17:52,900 --> 00:17:55,125 - Come again. - Three of her friends had strokes. 368 00:17:55,439 --> 00:17:58,312 And now she is hopping from sickbed to sickbed... 369 00:17:58,520 --> 00:18:00,825 offering whatever comfort she can. 370 00:18:01,017 --> 00:18:03,652 Three DAR strokes. What's in that water they're drinking? 371 00:18:03,847 --> 00:18:05,676 A little whiskey, usually. 372 00:18:05,845 --> 00:18:08,117 - And you're forgetting Liesl. - What? 373 00:18:08,302 --> 00:18:11,254 Our East German maid. She was much more masculine looking than me. 374 00:18:11,465 --> 00:18:13,577 - Right, the mutton chops. - Here is Rory. 375 00:18:13,755 --> 00:18:15,742 Thanks, I wouldn't have recognized her. Hi, hon. 376 00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:19,429 - Hi. Did you hear about the strokes? - Stay away from whiskey and the DAR. 377 00:18:19,666 --> 00:18:22,221 Your mother would make you throw that out at this point. 378 00:18:22,413 --> 00:18:25,002 - How about I exchange it for a martini? - Coming up. 379 00:18:25,202 --> 00:18:26,201 [Phone ringing] 380 00:18:27,034 --> 00:18:30,100 Good. I'm expecting an important call. This could be it. 381 00:18:30,322 --> 00:18:32,355 Dad, if the maid is busy with dinner... 382 00:18:32,528 --> 00:18:35,117 and the second one's out, and Mom's at the hospital... 383 00:18:35,734 --> 00:18:37,404 Right. I'll get it. 384 00:18:37,774 --> 00:18:40,760 Alone at last. Have I got something to tell you! 385 00:18:40,979 --> 00:18:42,012 What? 386 00:18:42,144 --> 00:18:44,938 - Or maybe you have something to tell me. - I have nothing. 387 00:18:45,141 --> 00:18:49,331 Or are you minimizing what you know? Maybe you should maximize it. 388 00:18:49,596 --> 00:18:51,946 - I'm confused. - Maximize... 389 00:18:52,135 --> 00:18:53,929 I'm maximum confused. 390 00:18:54,674 --> 00:18:55,707 [Sighing] 391 00:18:55,839 --> 00:18:57,634 - I ran into Max. - Medina? 392 00:18:57,796 --> 00:18:59,669 At the pharmacy. Did you know he was back? 393 00:18:59,836 --> 00:19:02,504 - No. He was on loan somewhere. - Yeah, at Stanford. 394 00:19:02,708 --> 00:19:04,264 He's back now for a little while. 395 00:19:04,415 --> 00:19:08,116 And I'm happy to report that either he's forgiven me for treating him so badly... 396 00:19:08,369 --> 00:19:11,038 or it wasn't that bad. I just built it up worse in my head. 397 00:19:11,241 --> 00:19:14,227 - You treated him like crap. - Well, he was very big about it. 398 00:19:14,447 --> 00:19:16,673 He didn't recoil or blow me off. 399 00:19:17,153 --> 00:19:19,265 We had a nice chat. It was good to see him. 400 00:19:19,442 --> 00:19:21,554 - He's a great guy. - He is. 401 00:19:21,732 --> 00:19:23,878 And a great teacher, too. I'm glad he's back. 402 00:19:24,062 --> 00:19:25,732 Good. He seemed glad, too. 403 00:19:25,895 --> 00:19:28,688 That was not my call. For a second, I thought a fourth friend... 404 00:19:28,892 --> 00:19:30,765 - of your mother's had had a stroke. - Oh, no. 405 00:19:30,931 --> 00:19:34,519 But then I realized that it was one of the original stroke ladies' husbands... 406 00:19:34,761 --> 00:19:38,191 calling to inform me of her stroke, which we already knew of, so here we are. 407 00:19:38,424 --> 00:19:40,457 - Thank God. - So, Rory has been telling me... 408 00:19:40,630 --> 00:19:42,901 about the Chilton Bicentennial and her speech. 409 00:19:43,086 --> 00:19:45,879 Well, it's not my speech yet. I have to qualify for it. 410 00:19:46,083 --> 00:19:48,195 - You'll get it. - She'll be on C-SPAN if she does. 411 00:19:48,373 --> 00:19:50,723 - Very good. - It's not like anyone would watch it. 412 00:19:50,912 --> 00:19:53,705 Yes, they will. You're more interesting than that usual shot... 413 00:19:53,909 --> 00:19:55,896 they have with the white men walking around... 414 00:19:56,073 --> 00:19:58,583 that big empty chamber with the numbers all over them. 415 00:19:58,779 --> 00:20:01,334 That's a televised House vote. I find that fascinating. 416 00:20:01,527 --> 00:20:04,196 It's like watching the Men's Warehouse security camera. 417 00:20:04,399 --> 00:20:06,411 When is your speech? I'd like to be there. 418 00:20:06,423 --> 00:20:07,987 Again, it's not my speech yet... 419 00:20:08,229 --> 00:20:10,976 - but it's Friday at 5:00. - That's tough. 420 00:20:11,184 --> 00:20:13,534 - Could they move it to 6:00? - I don't think so. 421 00:20:13,724 --> 00:20:15,995 - Maybe I'll move my thing. - That might be best. 422 00:20:16,179 --> 00:20:17,247 [Phone ringing] 423 00:20:17,387 --> 00:20:18,738 I've got it. 424 00:20:21,508 --> 00:20:23,142 - What? - Speed dial. 425 00:20:23,297 --> 00:20:24,693 I just like seeing him do that. 426 00:20:27,502 --> 00:20:29,569 Thank God, someone sane! Come on up! 427 00:20:29,750 --> 00:20:31,578 Your phone has been busy all night... 428 00:20:31,748 --> 00:20:34,019 and I'm dying to know what the doctor said. 429 00:20:34,204 --> 00:20:36,793 He said "Congratulations, it's an it." 430 00:20:37,450 --> 00:20:40,008 I love being pregnant. You'll give me tips? 431 00:20:40,020 --> 00:20:41,277 What I can remember. 432 00:20:41,530 --> 00:20:44,119 Get your diary out from that year, 'cause I want to know it all. 433 00:20:44,319 --> 00:20:46,431 A lot of my diary from that year... 434 00:20:46,608 --> 00:20:49,993 was a debate over which member of Tears For Fears... 435 00:20:50,230 --> 00:20:51,945 I loved more at that particular moment. 436 00:20:52,104 --> 00:20:54,171 That's probably not going to help me much. 437 00:20:54,351 --> 00:20:55,941 What are you doing out here? It's cold. 438 00:20:56,100 --> 00:20:58,973 We finished eating and I needed a break. Rough day. 439 00:20:59,180 --> 00:21:01,655 - We didn't get home till 8:00. - Your appointment was at 6:00. 440 00:21:01,719 --> 00:21:04,512 Jackson won't drive home faster than 7 miles an hour. 441 00:21:04,716 --> 00:21:07,271 - He doesn't want to jiggle baby. - Oh, my God. 442 00:21:07,464 --> 00:21:11,450 We spent 10 minutes on one speed bump. I could have walked home faster. 443 00:21:11,751 --> 00:21:15,136 He's got this wild look in his eye, like he's some kind of death-rocker. 444 00:21:15,373 --> 00:21:16,804 He keeps making lots of calls. 445 00:21:16,955 --> 00:21:19,464 And he punched the calculator so much he broke it. 446 00:21:19,702 --> 00:21:21,178 - We're selling the truck. - What? 447 00:21:21,325 --> 00:21:23,042 It's the only way we can afford the minivan. 448 00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:26,101 - I thought you broke the calculator. - I'm using a pencil. Hi, Lorelai. 449 00:21:26,321 --> 00:21:28,705 - Hi, Jackson. Congratulations. - We don't need a van. 450 00:21:28,902 --> 00:21:31,013 And I'm getting a haircut and buying a second tie. 451 00:21:31,191 --> 00:21:33,497 - It's probably the contractor. - What contractor? 452 00:21:33,772 --> 00:21:35,487 - The add-on? - What add-on? 453 00:21:35,645 --> 00:21:38,110 The expansion, Sookie. The expansion? 454 00:21:39,350 --> 00:21:41,985 - He's expanding something. - He's being very cryptic. 455 00:21:42,181 --> 00:21:44,645 I don't want to expand anything. Did you see his eyes? 456 00:21:44,844 --> 00:21:45,912 Tasmanian Devil. 457 00:21:46,052 --> 00:21:48,039 When I came home he was baby proofing the house. 458 00:21:48,217 --> 00:21:50,124 He'd thrown away all our prescription drugs. 459 00:21:50,298 --> 00:21:53,488 He was stuffing newspaper into the electrical sockets. He's insane. 460 00:21:53,711 --> 00:21:56,584 Hold on. He says we have to move out for three months for the add-on. 461 00:21:56,791 --> 00:21:59,175 - We probably don't want to do that. - Probably not. 462 00:22:00,913 --> 00:22:02,031 Have you tried slapping him? 463 00:22:02,078 --> 00:22:05,666 No, he won't let me lift my arm above my head in case it stretches baby. 464 00:22:05,908 --> 00:22:08,020 This stinks. We never even got to celebrate. 465 00:22:08,198 --> 00:22:10,753 He went straight to budgets and minivans. 466 00:22:10,944 --> 00:22:14,726 Well, what he's doing is sweet in its own obnoxious way. 467 00:22:15,274 --> 00:22:17,022 Guess I'll have to let him be male. 468 00:22:17,897 --> 00:22:21,848 - So listen, I ran into Max Medina. - Oh, my God. Really? 469 00:22:22,100 --> 00:22:23,895 - How weird was that? - A little. 470 00:22:24,057 --> 00:22:26,492 - Not as much as I would have thought. - He's such a good guy. 471 00:22:26,679 --> 00:22:28,428 People are pretty unanimous on that. 472 00:22:28,595 --> 00:22:30,628 - Well, was he nice to you? - Very. 473 00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:33,594 I mean, what happened with us was so long ago. 474 00:22:33,798 --> 00:22:35,353 Do you think what I did was horrible? 475 00:22:35,504 --> 00:22:37,139 Dumping him in the gutter? Sure. 476 00:22:37,295 --> 00:22:39,123 People are pretty unanimous on that, too. 477 00:22:39,293 --> 00:22:41,962 - So, Max Medina's back. - Not for long, though. 478 00:22:42,165 --> 00:22:44,800 I hope he doesn't hate me. He was probably being nice. 479 00:22:44,996 --> 00:22:47,585 - I don't want him to hate me. - You didn't mean to hurt him. 480 00:22:47,784 --> 00:22:50,248 I'll write him a note or something. 481 00:22:50,823 --> 00:22:52,299 I owe him that. 482 00:22:53,030 --> 00:22:54,267 [Sookie and Lorelai exclaiming] 483 00:22:54,361 --> 00:22:56,348 - What is this? - It's my cleaver. 484 00:22:56,526 --> 00:22:58,082 What if baby fell on it? 485 00:22:58,233 --> 00:23:01,106 You mean, what if baby rolled off the sink... 486 00:23:01,313 --> 00:23:03,868 and into the open second drawer? 487 00:23:04,269 --> 00:23:06,653 - It wouldn't be good. - It has to go. 488 00:23:06,850 --> 00:23:08,326 I need it to chop stuff. 489 00:23:08,473 --> 00:23:11,539 - We're switching to plastic. - I can't use plastic. 490 00:23:11,761 --> 00:23:14,067 And the saran wrap's history, too. 491 00:23:15,757 --> 00:23:17,267 [Phone ringing] 492 00:23:21,752 --> 00:23:23,466 - Yes, hello. - Rory Gilmore, please. 493 00:23:23,625 --> 00:23:25,771 - This is her. - Please hold, I'm connecting. 494 00:23:25,956 --> 00:23:29,147 - Headmaster Charleston and Paris Gellar. - You're what? Hello? 495 00:23:29,370 --> 00:23:31,243 - Miss Gilmore? - I'm here. 496 00:23:31,617 --> 00:23:32,969 - Miss Gellar? - I'm here. 497 00:23:33,116 --> 00:23:35,671 Please hold. I'm connecting to Headmaster Charleston. 498 00:23:37,778 --> 00:23:40,492 Miss Gilmore, Miss Gellar, you have Headmaster Charleston. 499 00:23:40,692 --> 00:23:43,281 Ladies, hello. I hope you're having a pleasant evening. 500 00:23:43,523 --> 00:23:44,623 RORY: Yes, sir. PARIS: Very pleasant. 501 00:23:44,647 --> 00:23:45,680 Wonderful to hear. 502 00:23:45,812 --> 00:23:47,368 Let's get down to it, shall we? 503 00:23:47,519 --> 00:23:49,983 I was very impressed with both your speeches today. 504 00:23:50,183 --> 00:23:53,056 They were well written, well researched, and elegantly delivered. 505 00:23:53,264 --> 00:23:54,297 You should be very proud. 506 00:23:54,429 --> 00:23:55,985 - Thank you, we were. - Who won? 507 00:23:56,135 --> 00:23:59,883 Just the simple act of completing a task well is in itself a win... 508 00:24:00,131 --> 00:24:01,960 - is it not, Miss Gellar? - Yes, sir. 509 00:24:02,129 --> 00:24:05,162 Wonderful. Anyhow, as I was listening to you both this afternoon... 510 00:24:05,377 --> 00:24:07,126 the thought kept rolling around in my head. 511 00:24:07,291 --> 00:24:10,516 I was thinking, "What a pity it is I will have to choose just one." 512 00:24:10,747 --> 00:24:12,814 But I realized, "Hold on a minute here..." 513 00:24:12,994 --> 00:24:16,026 "I'm the headmaster of this school. I am in charge of this competition... 514 00:24:16,242 --> 00:24:19,354 "I can change the rules if I wish to." So I am. 515 00:24:19,571 --> 00:24:20,843 - You are... - You are what? 516 00:24:20,987 --> 00:24:22,418 I am changing the rules. 517 00:24:22,568 --> 00:24:26,555 Instead of having one speaker at our Bicentennial, we will have two. 518 00:24:27,106 --> 00:24:29,740 You will combine your speeches and present them together. 519 00:24:29,937 --> 00:24:31,614 - You're kidding. - I assure you, I am not. 520 00:24:31,768 --> 00:24:35,073 I think it will be an excellent way to pay proper tribute to our school. 521 00:24:35,306 --> 00:24:37,294 - What do you think of my little plan? - Well... 522 00:24:37,471 --> 00:24:39,504 - It's... - Brilliant, yes, I think so, too. 523 00:24:39,677 --> 00:24:41,710 That's all. Congratulations. 524 00:24:41,884 --> 00:24:45,835 I would like the revised copy of your speech on my desk by Tuesday. 525 00:24:46,712 --> 00:24:48,063 Enjoy the rest of your weekend. 526 00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:50,867 Well, look who's suddenly decided... 527 00:24:51,042 --> 00:24:52,915 - to become Kofi Annan. - Excuse me? 528 00:24:53,081 --> 00:24:56,669 He thinks we need to play nice with each other, so he screws up the Bicentennial. 529 00:24:56,911 --> 00:24:58,706 - This sucks. - Yes, it does suck. 530 00:24:58,867 --> 00:25:01,139 - So what do we do now? - Do we have a choice? 531 00:25:01,324 --> 00:25:03,515 Of course we have a choice. You could say no. 532 00:25:03,696 --> 00:25:05,603 Why could I say no? You could say no. 533 00:25:05,778 --> 00:25:08,003 I could not say no. C-SPAN is going to be there. 534 00:25:08,192 --> 00:25:10,020 I like C-SPAN as much as you do. 535 00:25:10,190 --> 00:25:11,508 - You do not. - I do, too. 536 00:25:11,646 --> 00:25:13,395 Ask my mom. It's all I talk about. 537 00:25:15,976 --> 00:25:18,645 So I guess we need a game plan now. 538 00:25:19,015 --> 00:25:22,240 Okay, we can meet at school tomorrow and work on it. 539 00:25:22,470 --> 00:25:24,820 - Or we could do it over the phone. - Over the phone? 540 00:25:25,009 --> 00:25:27,882 We're combining two speeches. There's no reason we have to sit... 541 00:25:28,089 --> 00:25:30,519 - in the room and stare at each other. - Whatever you want. 542 00:25:30,712 --> 00:25:33,858 - Tomorrow night, 6:00. I'll call you. - I can't wait. 543 00:25:37,913 --> 00:25:39,184 [Doorbell ringing] 544 00:25:43,575 --> 00:25:45,721 - What're you doing here? - We had a speech to write. 545 00:25:45,905 --> 00:25:47,495 We planned to do it over the phone. 546 00:25:47,654 --> 00:25:50,084 It's ridiculous. We have to put two speeches together... 547 00:25:50,277 --> 00:25:53,422 rehearse, and hone our timing. It can't be done well over the phone. 548 00:25:53,648 --> 00:25:55,476 - It was your idea. - Did you fight me on it? 549 00:25:55,646 --> 00:25:58,030 - Of course I didn't fight you on it. - Okay, then. 550 00:25:59,101 --> 00:26:02,213 What okay, then? A conversation did not just come to a close. 551 00:26:02,432 --> 00:26:04,260 There was not a decision made there just now. 552 00:26:04,430 --> 00:26:06,780 Look, I'm here. We should do this and get it over with. 553 00:26:06,969 --> 00:26:08,876 Do you want to study here or in your bedroom? 554 00:26:09,050 --> 00:26:11,764 I'll go to a pay phone. Do you have pay phones in this town... 555 00:26:11,964 --> 00:26:14,031 - or are you using a town crier? - We'll do it here. 556 00:26:14,212 --> 00:26:15,245 Whatever you say. 557 00:26:17,709 --> 00:26:19,937 I think the first thing to do is to acquaint 558 00:26:19,948 --> 00:26:21,934 ourselves with each other's speeches... 559 00:26:22,204 --> 00:26:24,476 so we can judge who hit what point best. 560 00:26:25,867 --> 00:26:26,935 Here. 561 00:26:29,281 --> 00:26:31,314 - Fine. - Good, let's read. 562 00:26:32,028 --> 00:26:34,412 - Why did you use this font? - Because I was on the crack. 563 00:26:34,609 --> 00:26:36,676 - Did you check these facts? - Yes, I did. 564 00:26:36,856 --> 00:26:38,923 - And the spelling of these names? - Yes, I did. 565 00:26:39,105 --> 00:26:40,615 - Rory? - What, Paris? 566 00:26:40,770 --> 00:26:41,916 I slept with Jamie. 567 00:26:43,268 --> 00:26:46,414 - Last night, after we talked. - Was it something I said? 568 00:26:46,639 --> 00:26:48,990 I went over to study, he lit a fire, and we did it. 569 00:26:49,178 --> 00:26:51,055 - What are your thoughts on that? - My thoughts? 570 00:26:51,176 --> 00:26:54,050 Because I'm not exactly sure how I feel about it myself yet. 571 00:26:55,922 --> 00:26:57,717 I've been going over it in my head. 572 00:26:57,878 --> 00:26:59,945 It seemed to go pretty well. The fire was nice. 573 00:27:00,126 --> 00:27:02,953 Thank God he didn't put on any ridiculous make-out music... 574 00:27:03,165 --> 00:27:06,356 and then it happened. I was actually surprised at the timing of it... 575 00:27:06,578 --> 00:27:08,929 'cause I wasn't wearing anything particularly alluring. 576 00:27:09,117 --> 00:27:11,184 - In the moments just before the act... - Oh, God. 577 00:27:11,366 --> 00:27:14,001 We were discussing modern day Marxism in America, which is not... 578 00:27:14,196 --> 00:27:16,468 what I'd have deemed a come-and-get-it conversation... 579 00:27:16,652 --> 00:27:18,162 but nevertheless he came and got it. 580 00:27:18,317 --> 00:27:20,992 I have to figure out what that means to me on a psychological level. 581 00:27:21,065 --> 00:27:23,734 I thought maybe if we could have a healthy debate about it... 582 00:27:23,937 --> 00:27:26,209 I could come to a reasonable conclusion... 583 00:27:26,392 --> 00:27:28,425 about how I should be feeling right about now. 584 00:27:28,599 --> 00:27:31,063 So, come on, talk, what do you think? 585 00:27:31,429 --> 00:27:33,224 - Are you pro? - Well... 586 00:27:33,386 --> 00:27:35,055 - Con? Undecided? - Well... 587 00:27:35,218 --> 00:27:37,602 Paris, just stop talking for one second... 588 00:27:37,799 --> 00:27:40,354 and let me get my mind around this. 589 00:27:40,546 --> 00:27:42,419 Sorry. Go ahead, focus. 590 00:27:45,083 --> 00:27:48,069 Could you focus faster, because I really need some feedback here. 591 00:27:48,288 --> 00:27:52,353 Okay, so you are telling me that you and Jamie... 592 00:27:52,659 --> 00:27:53,806 Had sex. 593 00:27:53,949 --> 00:27:56,458 Okay, so, were you safe? 594 00:27:56,697 --> 00:27:59,204 Yes, it was a regular after school special. 595 00:27:59,216 --> 00:28:00,728 Well, was he nice to you? 596 00:28:00,985 --> 00:28:02,416 Yes, he was very nice to me. 597 00:28:02,566 --> 00:28:05,031 And the two of you had discussed this... 598 00:28:05,230 --> 00:28:08,535 I don't know that we actually discussed it, it was just sort of implied. 599 00:28:08,769 --> 00:28:10,484 - Implied. - Yes, implied. 600 00:28:10,642 --> 00:28:13,469 When you're dating a boy and you're together for some time... 601 00:28:13,681 --> 00:28:17,462 and you're not Amish, then the eventual occurrence of intercourse is inevitable. 602 00:28:18,010 --> 00:28:19,566 - Wasn't it with you? - What? 603 00:28:19,717 --> 00:28:20,988 - With Dean. - No. 604 00:28:21,132 --> 00:28:23,278 - No? - No. I never did it with Dean. 605 00:28:24,795 --> 00:28:26,702 Well, then with Jess, right? 606 00:28:27,959 --> 00:28:29,515 - No. - You're lying. 607 00:28:29,665 --> 00:28:32,050 - No, I'm not lying. - You haven't? 608 00:28:32,246 --> 00:28:33,643 - No. - Why not? 609 00:28:34,078 --> 00:28:37,541 I just haven't. It's just not the time. 610 00:28:38,283 --> 00:28:39,475 Why is it not the time? 611 00:28:39,614 --> 00:28:42,203 If it's not the time for you, maybe it's not the time for me. 612 00:28:42,403 --> 00:28:45,390 You can't judge what's right for you against what's right for me. 613 00:28:45,692 --> 00:28:48,042 We are different. And Jamie and Jess are different. 614 00:28:48,231 --> 00:28:51,819 - Well, yeah. - Maybe it was the time for the two of you. 615 00:28:52,061 --> 00:28:54,968 I guess. I just wish I had the data to back it up. 616 00:28:55,182 --> 00:28:56,738 Some things can't be analyzed. 617 00:28:58,014 --> 00:29:01,318 Listen, Rory, these last few weeks... 618 00:29:01,719 --> 00:29:03,786 Francie got things all twisted around. 619 00:29:03,966 --> 00:29:05,873 You let her get things all twisted around. 620 00:29:06,047 --> 00:29:09,953 I know. I just tend to believe the worst in people, you know? 621 00:29:10,252 --> 00:29:11,808 Yeah, I know. 622 00:29:13,165 --> 00:29:14,312 I'm... 623 00:29:16,246 --> 00:29:18,313 - That's okay. - Hello, Mommy's home. 624 00:29:18,494 --> 00:29:20,685 - We're in here. - We're? Who's we're? 625 00:29:20,866 --> 00:29:23,250 Paris, I didn't know you were coming over tonight. 626 00:29:23,447 --> 00:29:26,354 - It wasn't planned. - I bought pizza if you guys are hungry. 627 00:29:26,569 --> 00:29:28,874 I have to take my retainer out first. 628 00:29:29,358 --> 00:29:30,630 I'll get the plates. 629 00:29:31,815 --> 00:29:33,291 - Hey. - Hey. 630 00:29:33,729 --> 00:29:36,364 - I'm taking you shopping tomorrow. - Why? 631 00:29:36,685 --> 00:29:39,751 Just seems time for new shoes. 632 00:29:40,223 --> 00:29:41,291 Okay. 633 00:29:45,218 --> 00:29:46,694 [Whispering] I've got the good kid. 634 00:29:49,631 --> 00:29:54,173 After 200 years of tradition, Chilton begins its third century of educating... 635 00:29:55,916 --> 00:29:58,710 I've got the coats hung. And I gave the girl $1... 636 00:29:58,914 --> 00:30:01,707 to get the good hangers with the dry cleaning foam-strips attached. 637 00:30:01,911 --> 00:30:04,738 - Why are you frowning? Are you nervous? - No, I mean, yes. 638 00:30:04,950 --> 00:30:07,141 Paris is supposed to be here, and she's not. 639 00:30:07,322 --> 00:30:10,070 Maybe she's just had a clothing crisis. 640 00:30:10,277 --> 00:30:12,185 - Maybe. - Do you want to call her? 641 00:30:12,359 --> 00:30:14,346 - I did. No answer. - I'm sure she's fine. 642 00:30:14,524 --> 00:30:16,159 There's traffic, just relax. 643 00:30:16,313 --> 00:30:17,790 - Okay. - There you are. 644 00:30:17,937 --> 00:30:19,447 - Hi. - Grandpa, you came. 645 00:30:19,602 --> 00:30:22,951 Of course I came, I wouldn't miss my granddaughter talking on national TV. 646 00:30:23,182 --> 00:30:25,089 It's quite a nice turnout you have here. 647 00:30:25,263 --> 00:30:28,647 We're proud of the number of people who have nothing to do on a Friday night. 648 00:30:28,885 --> 00:30:31,077 Your mind never tires for a moment, does it? 649 00:30:31,257 --> 00:30:32,733 It will once people start talking. 650 00:30:32,881 --> 00:30:35,390 - Charming. - I'm going to go track down some coffee... 651 00:30:35,587 --> 00:30:37,620 'cause there's no way they're not serving coffee. 652 00:30:37,793 --> 00:30:40,462 I'll be right back. Relax, she'll be here. 653 00:30:41,414 --> 00:30:43,526 Stanford has been really fantastic. 654 00:30:44,245 --> 00:30:45,243 - Hi. - Hi. 655 00:30:46,826 --> 00:30:48,495 - Excuse me for a moment. - Sure. 656 00:30:49,199 --> 00:30:51,471 We seem to be running into each other a lot lately. 657 00:30:51,654 --> 00:30:56,117 Come on, you know where there's C-SPAN, there's me. 658 00:30:58,315 --> 00:30:59,462 Is Rory around? 659 00:30:59,606 --> 00:31:02,718 She's looking for Paris and panicking she'll have to do this alone. 660 00:31:02,935 --> 00:31:05,241 - Paris will come. - I told her that. 661 00:31:06,348 --> 00:31:08,779 - Listen, do you have a second? - Sure. 662 00:31:11,719 --> 00:31:14,149 I just want to talk to you about... 663 00:31:17,713 --> 00:31:20,019 I just wanted to get away from... 664 00:31:21,168 --> 00:31:22,395 Anyhow... 665 00:31:22,833 --> 00:31:24,548 we haven't really... 666 00:31:26,122 --> 00:31:27,632 talked since... 667 00:31:28,327 --> 00:31:29,997 I know. We haven't. 668 00:31:31,117 --> 00:31:32,150 [Max clearing throat] 669 00:31:32,283 --> 00:31:34,747 I always meant to call you, but I'm... 670 00:31:34,946 --> 00:31:38,376 not good at calling when a call is really necessary and then... 671 00:31:38,693 --> 00:31:40,011 you know... 672 00:31:40,483 --> 00:31:43,117 if you don't call for a while it gets harder to call. 673 00:31:43,314 --> 00:31:45,823 Then after a while it feels like it's too late to call... 674 00:31:46,020 --> 00:31:48,813 and you don't, although you always know you should have called. 675 00:31:49,017 --> 00:31:50,652 - I should have called. - It's okay. 676 00:31:50,806 --> 00:31:54,156 No, it's not. I never really explained what happened. 677 00:31:54,511 --> 00:31:56,578 - You didn't marry me. - Yes, I know. 678 00:31:56,759 --> 00:32:00,188 But I never really explained why. I just didn't. 679 00:32:00,423 --> 00:32:01,740 You didn't love me. 680 00:32:01,879 --> 00:32:06,579 I don't think I didn't love you. I think I was not ready to get married. 681 00:32:06,874 --> 00:32:10,417 - Because you didn't love me. - No, I really don't think that was it. 682 00:32:10,662 --> 00:32:12,014 Sometimes the person you love... 683 00:32:12,161 --> 00:32:14,432 is not the person you're ready to live with forever. 684 00:32:14,617 --> 00:32:16,173 I'm not saying this is right, but... 685 00:32:16,323 --> 00:32:21,024 Lorelai, listen to me. I appreciate this, I really do, but there's no need for it. 686 00:32:21,735 --> 00:32:23,370 I'm really okay. 687 00:32:23,525 --> 00:32:25,478 No, I know... I'm sure you're okay. 688 00:32:25,648 --> 00:32:28,555 I'm not saying this because you don't look okay. 689 00:32:28,770 --> 00:32:31,120 You look great. Really great. 690 00:32:31,309 --> 00:32:34,658 Although I'm not saying this because you look really great, although you do. 691 00:32:34,889 --> 00:32:36,684 Did you join a gym in California? 692 00:32:36,845 --> 00:32:40,547 Look, I've always wanted to teach at a university like Stanford. 693 00:32:40,800 --> 00:32:44,865 And finally the opportunity came up. I went and it was wonderful. 694 00:32:45,629 --> 00:32:49,058 Frankly if we'd been getting married, I wouldn't have been able to take it. 695 00:32:49,292 --> 00:32:52,005 - You're welcome. - And being away gave me time to think. 696 00:32:52,206 --> 00:32:53,478 I thought... 697 00:32:53,621 --> 00:32:56,892 - and now I'm fine. - It's just, we never had any closure. 698 00:32:57,117 --> 00:33:00,547 - Life's not really about closure, is it? - No, I guess not. 699 00:33:02,488 --> 00:33:05,202 - So you're okay? - I'm okay. I'm over it. 700 00:33:05,859 --> 00:33:08,051 - You sure? - I'm completely sure. 701 00:33:08,233 --> 00:33:11,299 Well, then, boy, don't I feel stupid. 702 00:33:11,521 --> 00:33:14,473 You are many things but stupid is not one of them. 703 00:33:14,684 --> 00:33:16,354 Well, I'm really glad... 704 00:33:16,599 --> 00:33:17,917 I got to see you again. 705 00:33:18,056 --> 00:33:19,169 Me, too. 706 00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:22,753 - I better get back. - Okay. 707 00:33:27,714 --> 00:33:30,461 Rory, you and Paris should get ready. You're going on next. 708 00:33:30,669 --> 00:33:32,894 Richard, I didn't know you were coming. How are you? 709 00:33:33,083 --> 00:33:35,309 - Very well. - Wonderful. Let me find you a seat. 710 00:33:35,498 --> 00:33:38,326 - I'm also with my daughter. - Well, let me find you two seats. 711 00:33:38,536 --> 00:33:40,126 - Where's Paris? - I don't know. 712 00:33:40,285 --> 00:33:42,366 I haven't seen her, and I called her house. 713 00:33:42,378 --> 00:33:44,191 Oh, dear. I hope you know both parts. 714 00:33:45,073 --> 00:33:47,628 - Okay. Great. - You are going to be wonderful. 715 00:33:47,861 --> 00:33:52,244 Trust me. Now, did anyone ever tell you to picture the audience in their underwear? 716 00:33:52,523 --> 00:33:53,716 - Yes. - Don't do it. 717 00:33:53,855 --> 00:33:55,763 I did it once, and I had nightmares for a week. 718 00:33:55,936 --> 00:33:57,923 - Bulgarians in Speedos... - Say no more. 719 00:33:58,101 --> 00:34:00,054 - They're rounding us up, is she here yet? - No. 720 00:34:00,224 --> 00:34:01,938 Well... There she is. 721 00:34:02,097 --> 00:34:05,640 - Where? Oh, thank you, God. - Okay, be great, we'll see you afterward. 722 00:34:06,302 --> 00:34:08,891 Where have you been, Paris? Are you okay? 723 00:34:10,007 --> 00:34:13,675 And it is with great pleasure that I introduce two young ladies... 724 00:34:13,919 --> 00:34:16,871 that epitomize the very best of what Chilton has to offer. 725 00:34:17,083 --> 00:34:18,275 Paris, are you okay? 726 00:34:18,415 --> 00:34:21,845 Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Paris Gellar and Rory Gilmore. 727 00:34:35,441 --> 00:34:39,472 "Apply yourself. Get all the education you can but then do something. 728 00:34:39,728 --> 00:34:42,999 "Don't just stand there, make it happen." Lee Iacocca. 729 00:34:48,469 --> 00:34:52,296 "Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one." 730 00:34:52,549 --> 00:34:53,981 Malcolm Forbes. 731 00:34:58,419 --> 00:35:01,326 "Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember..." 732 00:35:01,541 --> 00:35:05,367 "From time to time, that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught." 733 00:35:05,620 --> 00:35:06,618 Oscar Wilde. 734 00:35:06,744 --> 00:35:08,777 These are only three of many countless views... 735 00:35:08,950 --> 00:35:12,255 on the expansion of the human mind. I personally believe in all of them. 736 00:35:12,488 --> 00:35:15,157 And fortunately for me, so does Chilton. 737 00:35:15,361 --> 00:35:18,949 An institution, not just because of age and standing, but because of ideas. 738 00:35:19,190 --> 00:35:21,984 Because it encourages ideas, and it will accept nothing less... 739 00:35:22,187 --> 00:35:23,857 than everything you have to give. 740 00:35:24,019 --> 00:35:26,654 This is the place where our lives start. 741 00:35:29,014 --> 00:35:30,842 You know, it's funny... 742 00:35:31,512 --> 00:35:33,419 me standing here before you right now. 743 00:35:33,593 --> 00:35:37,419 I have thought about nothing else for four years but this school. 744 00:35:38,005 --> 00:35:40,958 This big, important school... 745 00:35:41,585 --> 00:35:44,890 with all of its history and tradition... 746 00:35:45,457 --> 00:35:47,444 and really super teachers. 747 00:35:47,621 --> 00:35:51,182 And I dedicated myself to it... completely. 748 00:35:51,618 --> 00:35:53,014 Heart and soul. 749 00:35:53,158 --> 00:35:54,668 Believing in its power. 750 00:35:54,823 --> 00:35:58,253 Believing in its ability to get me where I needed to go: 751 00:35:59,069 --> 00:36:00,216 Harvard. 752 00:36:01,275 --> 00:36:03,228 I thought of nothing else. 753 00:36:03,398 --> 00:36:06,271 Many of you out there can attest to that fact. 754 00:36:06,561 --> 00:36:09,275 I was on my way, and nothing could stop me. 755 00:36:10,433 --> 00:36:12,500 And here's the really funny thing. 756 00:36:12,680 --> 00:36:15,065 After four years of slaving away... 757 00:36:15,303 --> 00:36:18,097 I go home today and I found this. 758 00:36:21,339 --> 00:36:24,405 I'm not going to Harvard. I got the tiny envelope. 759 00:36:25,502 --> 00:36:29,170 The one that reads, "Sorry, Paris. We're not interested." 760 00:36:29,415 --> 00:36:31,924 "Try again next year. Love, Harvard." 761 00:36:33,203 --> 00:36:35,838 And the thing that's really funny here is... 762 00:36:36,034 --> 00:36:39,383 who in the world deserves to go to Harvard more than me? 763 00:36:40,155 --> 00:36:43,698 Have you seen how hard I've worked over these past four years? 764 00:36:43,942 --> 00:36:47,213 Can anyone here believe that I'm not going to Harvard? 765 00:36:47,522 --> 00:36:48,715 I can't. 766 00:36:49,313 --> 00:36:50,947 I'm not going to Harvard. 767 00:36:51,102 --> 00:36:52,140 I am not going to Harvard! 768 00:36:52,268 --> 00:36:54,982 I had sex, but I'm not going to Harvard. 769 00:36:55,182 --> 00:36:58,134 I have to tell you, if you asked me which of those two events... 770 00:36:58,345 --> 00:37:00,491 I thought would be the least likely to happen... 771 00:37:00,676 --> 00:37:02,313 it would not be the not going to Harvard. 772 00:37:02,425 --> 00:37:04,775 - Thank you and goodnight. - I'm being punished. 773 00:37:04,964 --> 00:37:06,946 I had sex, so I don't get to go to Harvard. 774 00:37:06,958 --> 00:37:07,712 Paris, come on. 775 00:37:07,919 --> 00:37:10,065 She's never had sex. She'll probably go to Harvard. 776 00:37:10,251 --> 00:37:12,318 She's a shoo-in. Pack your chastity belt, Gilmore. 777 00:37:12,498 --> 00:37:13,935 - You're going to Harvard. - Come on. 778 00:37:14,580 --> 00:37:16,567 [Audience murmuring in disbelief] 779 00:37:18,992 --> 00:37:21,298 How could I have not gotten into Harvard? 780 00:37:21,573 --> 00:37:24,367 Five generations of Gellars have gotten into Harvard. 781 00:37:24,571 --> 00:37:26,876 Even if I was the Billy Carter of the family... 782 00:37:27,068 --> 00:37:29,373 the name is still supposed to carry some weight. 783 00:37:30,481 --> 00:37:32,865 They had to really not like me for me to not get in. 784 00:37:33,062 --> 00:37:35,855 - It's like they know me or something. - Stop. 785 00:37:36,350 --> 00:37:38,701 I know how much this meant to you. 786 00:37:38,890 --> 00:37:41,603 But you're going to get just as good an education... 787 00:37:41,804 --> 00:37:44,677 at one of the other great schools you're destined to get into. 788 00:37:45,467 --> 00:37:46,818 And you know what? 789 00:37:46,966 --> 00:37:49,839 Maybe it's a good thing you're going to a different school... 790 00:37:50,046 --> 00:37:53,112 than the rest of your family. You'll be doing your own thing. 791 00:37:53,334 --> 00:37:56,082 Starting your own tradition. Doesn't that sound exciting? 792 00:37:56,290 --> 00:37:59,561 I can't believe I slept with Jamie. I'm a slut. 793 00:37:59,787 --> 00:38:04,090 - No, you're not. You love him. - What if he doesn't love me anymore? 794 00:38:04,948 --> 00:38:07,776 What if he doesn't think I'm special anymore? 795 00:38:08,028 --> 00:38:10,822 How am I going to tell him I didn't get into Harvard? 796 00:38:11,026 --> 00:38:12,820 What am I going to do? 797 00:38:14,439 --> 00:38:16,823 I don't know why you didn't get into Harvard... 798 00:38:17,020 --> 00:38:19,893 but you are so smart and so special. 799 00:38:20,101 --> 00:38:22,485 You'll see, everything's going to be fine. 800 00:38:25,428 --> 00:38:27,983 I just wanted to make sure everything was okay. 801 00:38:28,176 --> 00:38:30,640 Yeah, we've got everything under control. Thanks. 802 00:38:30,840 --> 00:38:32,873 Okay, I'll be outside when you're ready. 803 00:38:33,046 --> 00:38:34,875 - No rush. - Thanks. 804 00:38:38,084 --> 00:38:42,546 All I've got to say is, after all the trouble this sex thing has caused me... 805 00:38:43,370 --> 00:38:44,880 I had better have been good. 806 00:38:47,449 --> 00:38:50,004 That's the perspective I know and love. 807 00:38:52,278 --> 00:38:54,867 Dad, hi. Sorry, I was checking on the girls. 808 00:38:55,067 --> 00:38:58,099 I hope they're feeling good about themselves. They did a wonderful job. 809 00:38:58,314 --> 00:39:00,347 I'm sure they'll be pleased to hear you think so. 810 00:39:00,521 --> 00:39:02,792 Listen, I need to get home. 811 00:39:02,976 --> 00:39:05,440 I'm expecting a very important call from China... 812 00:39:05,641 --> 00:39:07,628 that unfortunately I cannot miss. 813 00:39:07,805 --> 00:39:09,554 That's fine, I'll tell Rory you had to go. 814 00:39:09,720 --> 00:39:12,593 And tell her I'll call her later. And give her this. 815 00:39:13,050 --> 00:39:15,639 That's very nice! How about my finder's fee? 816 00:39:15,839 --> 00:39:16,906 You're very amusing. 817 00:39:17,046 --> 00:39:20,112 Thank you for a lovely evening and I'll see the two of you on Friday. 818 00:39:20,335 --> 00:39:22,208 Good night, sleep tight. 819 00:39:23,540 --> 00:39:24,766 Excuse me. Hi. 820 00:39:24,914 --> 00:39:28,060 I'm not seeing my coat here, and it was very cute and it was on sale. 821 00:39:28,285 --> 00:39:30,318 I'll fling myself off a building if I lose it. 822 00:39:30,492 --> 00:39:33,240 We put some of the coat racks in that classroom. Take a look. 823 00:39:33,447 --> 00:39:35,956 Otherwise, the staircase to the roof is on your right. 824 00:39:36,153 --> 00:39:37,424 Thank you. 825 00:39:39,025 --> 00:39:42,330 Took 200 years, but somebody at Chilton finally cracked a joke. 826 00:39:48,766 --> 00:39:49,764 MAX: Okay. 827 00:39:51,388 --> 00:39:54,772 So this is where they keep the coats they're ashamed of. 828 00:39:55,343 --> 00:39:57,807 This school's taken snobbery to a whole new level. 829 00:39:58,007 --> 00:40:00,471 - Is Rory okay? - Yeah, I just went back there. 830 00:40:00,671 --> 00:40:03,703 She's taking care of Paris, but she's good, thanks. 831 00:40:03,917 --> 00:40:06,063 I must say, I've been a teacher for 10 years... 832 00:40:06,249 --> 00:40:09,758 and it wasn't until today I realized it must be very hard to be a girl. 833 00:40:09,995 --> 00:40:12,869 And with the invention of Sephora, really expensive, too. 834 00:40:13,075 --> 00:40:15,063 - I'm very sorry. - Don't be. 835 00:40:15,240 --> 00:40:18,192 At least we get to wear skirts without being Scottish... 836 00:40:18,404 --> 00:40:20,199 or riding a float in the gay pride parade. 837 00:40:20,360 --> 00:40:23,551 That will change someday. When it does, I still won't wear a skirt. 838 00:40:23,774 --> 00:40:25,000 But I'll applaud those who do. 839 00:40:25,148 --> 00:40:28,294 And then I'll cross the street so nobody sees I'm with them. 840 00:40:28,977 --> 00:40:31,441 - Nice seeing you. - Nice seeing you, too. 841 00:40:31,641 --> 00:40:33,548 - Take care of yourself. - I will. 842 00:40:43,297 --> 00:40:47,566 And apparently... I'm not over it. 843 00:40:59,573 --> 00:41:03,400 I'm not getting rid of my knives, Jackson. I'm a chef. I have to have knives. 844 00:41:03,652 --> 00:41:06,605 And I'm also not cutting off the water supply... 845 00:41:06,816 --> 00:41:09,610 and I'm not sanding down all the edges of my furniture. 846 00:41:09,813 --> 00:41:12,277 I'm sorry that you think this house is a death trap... 847 00:41:12,477 --> 00:41:16,508 and that there's nothing in our lifestyles that is conducive to having a baby. 848 00:41:16,765 --> 00:41:18,877 But our kid should be bright enough... 849 00:41:19,054 --> 00:41:22,086 not to disconnect a water hose going to the automatic icemaker... 850 00:41:22,301 --> 00:41:24,447 and shove it up his or her nose. 851 00:41:25,257 --> 00:41:26,847 Now go to sleep. 852 00:41:35,039 --> 00:41:37,026 Did I tell you how happy I am? 853 00:41:38,619 --> 00:41:40,050 No, you didn't. 854 00:41:46,569 --> 00:41:50,078 I have never been happier about anything in my entire life. 855 00:41:50,316 --> 00:41:51,349 Really? 856 00:41:51,482 --> 00:41:54,752 Our wedding day, but this is running a really close second. 857 00:41:55,561 --> 00:41:56,559 Jackson. 858 00:42:00,931 --> 00:42:04,917 If you would just get rid of the knives, I think it could make it a tie. 859 00:42:06,425 --> 00:42:08,492 I wasn't kidding about the knives. 860 00:42:08,924 --> 00:42:10,400 Good night, Jackson. 861 00:42:12,170 --> 00:42:15,361 If I could read you the statistics just one more time... 862 00:42:15,583 --> 00:42:17,173 I love you, Jackson. 863 00:42:17,332 --> 00:42:19,205 Hold on, I'll find them. 864 00:42:19,622 --> 00:42:20,939 - But... - I don't know. 865 00:42:21,079 --> 00:42:23,304 - What does this mean? - I don't know. 866 00:42:23,493 --> 00:42:25,923 - What are you going to do? - I don't know. 867 00:42:26,115 --> 00:42:28,545 - What about Alex? - I don't know. 868 00:42:28,738 --> 00:42:31,327 - But is Max going to... - Honey, have you gotten the clue? 869 00:42:31,526 --> 00:42:34,240 - There won't be much information tonight. - Sorry. 870 00:42:35,856 --> 00:42:37,366 It's just so... 871 00:42:49,384 --> 00:42:50,736 The big one. 872 00:42:54,339 --> 00:42:55,849 Looks like Paris was right. 873 00:42:59,708 --> 00:43:02,979 Apparently you're the biggest virgin in the world. 874 00:43:06,993 --> 00:43:07,991 Wow. 875 00:43:09,033 --> 00:43:10,589 So? What? 876 00:43:11,821 --> 00:43:14,330 - I don't know. - Well, what does this mean? 877 00:43:14,527 --> 00:43:16,799 - I don't know. - Which one are you gonna choose? 878 00:43:16,983 --> 00:43:19,492 - I don't know. - I guess we'd better go inside. 879 00:43:19,689 --> 00:43:21,756 We both have a lot of things to figure out. 880 00:43:25,725 --> 00:43:28,519 What are the odds that Paris will ever have sex again? 881 00:43:28,722 --> 00:43:29,869 I don't know.