1 00:00:31,495 --> 00:00:32,769 [Phone ringing] 2 00:00:32,913 --> 00:00:33,948 Hello? 3 00:00:34,081 --> 00:00:35,435 - They know. - Who knows? 4 00:00:35,582 --> 00:00:38,176 The cats. They know I've broken up with Jason and I'm alone. 5 00:00:38,377 --> 00:00:41,052 They've decided it's time for me to become a crazy cat lady. 6 00:00:41,256 --> 00:00:43,656 - What are you talking about? - There's a cat on my doorstep. 7 00:00:43,758 --> 00:00:45,317 That's better than a bun in your oven. 8 00:00:45,468 --> 00:00:48,586 It's sitting there staring at me, like it knew this moment was coming. 9 00:00:48,805 --> 00:00:51,718 - Why is it still there? - It's a stray. It's passing through. 10 00:00:51,933 --> 00:00:53,571 It's hanging out. Relax. 11 00:00:53,727 --> 00:00:56,004 Move away from the window and go back to bed. 12 00:00:56,188 --> 00:00:59,385 It's not fair. We just broke up. It just happened. I'm still young. 13 00:00:59,608 --> 00:01:01,963 It's still possible I'll have a successful relationship. 14 00:01:02,153 --> 00:01:04,986 - My eggs are still viable. - Are you yelling at me or the cat? 15 00:01:05,197 --> 00:01:07,029 The cat. He flipped me off with his tail. 16 00:01:07,199 --> 00:01:08,792 - I'm Babette. - Babette's not single. 17 00:01:08,951 --> 00:01:10,828 Whose side are you on? Circle the wagons. 18 00:01:10,995 --> 00:01:12,987 Everyone knows. They can see it in my face. 19 00:01:13,165 --> 00:01:15,520 "She's single again. She couldn't make it work again. 20 00:01:15,709 --> 00:01:18,588 "She picked the wrong guy again." Do not lick yourself in front of me. 21 00:01:18,795 --> 00:01:20,115 Mom, I need you to get a grip. 22 00:01:20,255 --> 00:01:22,815 You're tired, stressed out, and not seeing things clearly. 23 00:01:23,008 --> 00:01:25,602 My God! There are two of them. 24 00:01:25,802 --> 00:01:28,033 They're not even easing me into this, those bastards. 25 00:01:28,222 --> 00:01:29,222 I give up. 26 00:01:29,348 --> 00:01:32,101 I guess I need to start collecting newspapers and magazines... 27 00:01:32,310 --> 00:01:34,187 find a blue bathrobe, lose my front teeth. 28 00:01:34,353 --> 00:01:36,344 Obviously, you've got a busy day ahead of you... 29 00:01:36,522 --> 00:01:37,717 so I'm gonna let you go. 30 00:01:37,857 --> 00:01:40,371 - I need to find some yarn balls. - Bye. 31 00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:45,476 I am a young, desirable woman. 32 00:02:54,689 --> 00:02:57,807 Michel, curtains. Tom, banister and mud-sink valve. 33 00:03:07,703 --> 00:03:12,174 Sylvie, horse feed. Jackson, garden stone. Sookie, too much salt in the gazpacho. 34 00:03:17,922 --> 00:03:19,071 Boy. 35 00:03:29,017 --> 00:03:30,815 - What are you doing? - I need coffee. 36 00:03:30,977 --> 00:03:34,175 - It's 5:00 a.m. Make coffee at your house. - I did. I drank it all. 37 00:03:34,398 --> 00:03:37,038 You drank all the coffee in your house before 5:00 a.m.? 38 00:03:37,234 --> 00:03:39,191 - Big gulps, lots of sugar. - Get up. 39 00:03:39,361 --> 00:03:41,637 And just a little bit of cream 'cause it makes it cold. 40 00:03:41,822 --> 00:03:42,857 Keep moving. 41 00:03:43,616 --> 00:03:46,130 I can't sleep. I can't turn my mind off. 42 00:03:46,327 --> 00:03:48,922 It keeps running and thinking and making lists. 43 00:03:49,122 --> 00:03:52,274 Maybe if you drank a little less coffee, you'd make less lists. 44 00:03:52,501 --> 00:03:54,174 I can't stop drinking the coffee. 45 00:03:54,336 --> 00:03:57,806 I stop drinking coffee, I stop doing the standing and walking... 46 00:03:58,048 --> 00:03:59,880 and the words-putting-into-sentence doing. 47 00:04:00,050 --> 00:04:01,688 I'll make you some coffee. 48 00:04:02,678 --> 00:04:04,555 If I could move, I would hug you. 49 00:04:04,722 --> 00:04:07,396 In fact, in my mind, I am hugging you... 50 00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:11,230 and also telling the plumber there's no water pressure in rooms 10, 12, and 15. 51 00:04:11,479 --> 00:04:12,599 I'm making you some oatmeal. 52 00:04:12,730 --> 00:04:15,130 - I don't like oatmeal. - You've gotta eat something healthy. 53 00:04:15,316 --> 00:04:16,670 I'm so completely stressed. 54 00:04:16,818 --> 00:04:19,333 I can't remember what I'm doing from one moment to the next. 55 00:04:19,530 --> 00:04:21,168 - It's never gonna get done. - It will. 56 00:04:21,323 --> 00:04:24,281 No, it won't, and the inn won't open, and then I'll go broke. 57 00:04:24,493 --> 00:04:26,053 - How do you do it? - Do what? Go broke? 58 00:04:26,203 --> 00:04:28,080 No, run this place, handle all the stress? 59 00:04:28,247 --> 00:04:30,045 - The place isn't stressful. - It's not? 60 00:04:30,207 --> 00:04:32,517 Actually, at this moment, it is a little. 61 00:04:33,545 --> 00:04:36,059 Maybe I can't handle it. Do you think I can handle it? 62 00:04:36,256 --> 00:04:38,213 - I already said you could handle it. - When? 63 00:04:38,383 --> 00:04:40,374 - Quite a while ago. - Did I believe you? 64 00:04:40,552 --> 00:04:44,102 - Apparently, you didn't listen to me. - I want you to take a tour of the inn. 65 00:04:44,347 --> 00:04:47,066 Why don't I wait till it's repossessed? I'll see it at the auction. 66 00:04:47,267 --> 00:04:49,737 How can you be so mean when I only managed to line one eye? 67 00:04:49,937 --> 00:04:50,972 I apologize. 68 00:04:51,105 --> 00:04:53,938 Seriously, I want to give you an official investor's tour. 69 00:04:54,150 --> 00:04:55,470 It's looking really good. 70 00:04:55,609 --> 00:04:58,567 I heard the water pressure sucks in rooms 10, 12, and 15. 71 00:04:58,779 --> 00:05:01,578 - What do you say? - You eat the oatmeal, I'll take the tour. 72 00:05:01,782 --> 00:05:04,171 Fine, I'll eat it. But I'm making a face the entire time. 73 00:05:04,369 --> 00:05:06,121 Looking forward to it. 74 00:05:07,748 --> 00:05:09,068 Hey, Kirk. 75 00:05:15,589 --> 00:05:17,944 - Something wrong? - I wanted to sit there. 76 00:05:18,133 --> 00:05:19,487 - Seriously? - Of course. 77 00:05:19,634 --> 00:05:22,627 Why do you think I'm here this early? I wanted to get that table. 78 00:05:22,847 --> 00:05:24,918 Every single other table in here is empty. 79 00:05:25,099 --> 00:05:27,613 - Except the one I want. - Fine. 80 00:05:27,810 --> 00:05:30,643 You have to understand that on days when Lulu is working... 81 00:05:30,855 --> 00:05:32,653 - I have very little in my life. - I know. 82 00:05:32,815 --> 00:05:35,569 This table is a small thing, but it makes me happy. 83 00:05:35,778 --> 00:05:37,769 It gives me a sense of power over my life... 84 00:05:37,946 --> 00:05:40,825 a little control in a world where very little is controllable. 85 00:05:41,033 --> 00:05:43,547 Kirk, I moved. Your table's free. 86 00:05:45,079 --> 00:05:47,355 - Thanks. - You're welcome. 87 00:05:48,749 --> 00:05:50,226 Boy, the light over here is excellent. 88 00:05:50,250 --> 00:05:51,321 [Lorelai groaning] 89 00:05:53,463 --> 00:05:55,454 Is this your voice? 90 00:05:55,632 --> 00:05:58,552 [On answering machine] Michel, curtains. Tom, banister and mud-sink valve. 91 00:05:58,635 --> 00:06:01,070 Yes. I left myself a couple of messages last night. 92 00:06:01,262 --> 00:06:03,902 You left yourself 25 messages last night... 93 00:06:04,099 --> 00:06:07,536 and the funny thing is, you didn't listen to any of the messages. 94 00:06:07,770 --> 00:06:10,603 - I listened to the messages. - Just hand them to me, please. 95 00:06:10,815 --> 00:06:13,455 Every day that you breathe, you make my life harder. 96 00:06:13,651 --> 00:06:16,803 - I've got a solution for you. - And when is the desk coming? 97 00:06:17,029 --> 00:06:18,542 I don't find the whole... 98 00:06:18,697 --> 00:06:21,416 conducting-business-on-the-floor thing amusing anymore! 99 00:06:21,617 --> 00:06:25,168 I want a desk and a chair and a bell. 100 00:06:25,414 --> 00:06:27,087 Where the hell is my bell? 101 00:06:28,083 --> 00:06:30,677 - You came by. - You told me I had to. 102 00:06:31,128 --> 00:06:34,962 - I'm so glad you're here. - The staircase is beautiful. 103 00:06:35,424 --> 00:06:37,939 Tom. Nice work here. 104 00:06:38,136 --> 00:06:40,571 But you used glue. I thought with a banister... 105 00:06:40,763 --> 00:06:42,083 Are you gonna kibitz? 106 00:06:42,223 --> 00:06:44,021 Guys who know a little about construction... 107 00:06:44,183 --> 00:06:46,060 they build a birdbath, install a towel bar... 108 00:06:46,227 --> 00:06:48,537 makes them think they know something, so they kibitz... 109 00:06:48,729 --> 00:06:51,243 offer free advice on things they don't know anything about. 110 00:06:51,441 --> 00:06:54,400 - I got a low tolerance for that right now. - I'm not gonna kibitz. 111 00:06:54,611 --> 00:06:56,761 And stop touching my banister. 112 00:06:57,156 --> 00:06:59,033 He won't let me touch the banister either. 113 00:06:59,199 --> 00:07:01,713 You want to see the kitchen? The stove is a thing of beauty. 114 00:07:01,910 --> 00:07:04,379 We're thinking of ordering out so we never have to use it. 115 00:07:04,580 --> 00:07:07,094 Great idea. And I wasn't gonna kibitz. 116 00:07:07,291 --> 00:07:09,329 - Exciting, isn't it? - I know. 117 00:07:10,795 --> 00:07:14,026 Lorelai, great. I've been looking for you. Hi, Luke. 118 00:07:14,257 --> 00:07:17,056 Sookie. Nice kitchen. Did you use the original tiles? 119 00:07:17,260 --> 00:07:19,297 - I don't know. Ask Tom. - Never mind. 120 00:07:19,888 --> 00:07:22,767 Lorelai, I would like to introduce you to Shel Sausman. 121 00:07:22,974 --> 00:07:26,411 - Shel, this is Lorelai Gilmore. - It is really nice to meet you. 122 00:07:26,645 --> 00:07:30,240 - It's really nice to meet you, too. - Shel is going to be our poultry supplier. 123 00:07:30,483 --> 00:07:31,598 That's great. 124 00:07:31,734 --> 00:07:35,090 He sells only free-range, hormone-free, and he's recently divorced. 125 00:07:35,321 --> 00:07:38,359 I assume the one doesn't have anything to do with the other. 126 00:07:39,366 --> 00:07:41,517 You're funny. She's funny. 127 00:07:42,329 --> 00:07:45,685 They say pretty women usually aren't funny because they never had to be. 128 00:07:45,916 --> 00:07:47,350 Were you a fat child? 129 00:07:48,376 --> 00:07:51,209 I'm gonna go out and check with Michel on something... 130 00:07:51,421 --> 00:07:53,492 and you guys just talk till I get back. 131 00:07:53,673 --> 00:07:56,314 - Why do you need to talk to Michel? - Tablecloth supplies. 132 00:07:56,511 --> 00:07:59,344 - I can do that. - Michel likes me better. Just talk! 133 00:07:59,555 --> 00:08:02,069 - Lorelai... - Shel, have you met Luke? 134 00:08:03,518 --> 00:08:05,270 - Luke, get up! - What? 135 00:08:05,770 --> 00:08:07,522 Shel, this is Luke. 136 00:08:07,772 --> 00:08:09,649 - Nice to meet you. - Yeah, you, too. 137 00:08:09,816 --> 00:08:11,728 Luke is my special friend. 138 00:08:11,985 --> 00:08:13,658 Yeah. I have to tell you... 139 00:08:13,821 --> 00:08:16,734 renovating this place has been a real nightmare. 140 00:08:16,949 --> 00:08:20,863 I don't know how I would have gotten through it without him. 141 00:08:21,328 --> 00:08:23,399 Have I said thank you to you recently? 142 00:08:23,580 --> 00:08:26,094 - No. - Thank you. 143 00:08:26,501 --> 00:08:29,459 - You're welcome. - It was nice meeting you both. 144 00:08:29,671 --> 00:08:32,663 - I'm gonna go say goodbye to Sookie. - Bye, Shel. 145 00:08:32,882 --> 00:08:34,842 - Don't touch my stomach. - You put my hand there. 146 00:08:35,009 --> 00:08:37,603 She's trying to set me up with Shel, the poultry guy? Why? 147 00:08:37,804 --> 00:08:41,638 I just broke up with someone. We'd been dating for a few months now. 148 00:08:41,892 --> 00:08:43,644 I figured there was someone in the picture. 149 00:08:43,811 --> 00:08:44,881 You did? How? 150 00:08:45,020 --> 00:08:47,694 Just clues. You never dressed weather-appropriate. 151 00:08:47,898 --> 00:08:49,935 - I can bundle on up now. - I'm sorry. 152 00:08:50,109 --> 00:08:51,749 - Cats came to my house today... - Really? 153 00:08:51,861 --> 00:08:54,660 Because they know I'm a loser and I'm destined to be alone. 154 00:08:54,864 --> 00:08:57,505 You're not destined to be alone. You have Shel. 155 00:08:57,701 --> 00:09:00,580 - Why is it so hard? - Relationships? Look who you're asking. 156 00:09:00,787 --> 00:09:03,176 - At least you got married. - At least you had a kid. 157 00:09:03,373 --> 00:09:05,887 It makes me sad sometimes. Does it make you sad? 158 00:09:06,084 --> 00:09:07,802 I don't know. Maybe. 159 00:09:07,961 --> 00:09:09,918 I see Dr. Phil books in our future. 160 00:09:10,088 --> 00:09:13,400 Unless they stock them at Home Depot, they're not likely to cross my path. 161 00:09:13,634 --> 00:09:16,103 All this sad talk is putting a damper on my stressing. 162 00:09:16,304 --> 00:09:18,818 - The place is great. - Do you think I can do this? 163 00:09:19,015 --> 00:09:20,494 I already told you you can do this. 164 00:09:20,641 --> 00:09:22,757 I already told you that I told you you can do this. 165 00:09:22,935 --> 00:09:26,246 - You're making me long for Shel. - You'd never want for chicken. 166 00:09:27,315 --> 00:09:29,956 STUDENT: isn't political writing just another form of propaganda? 167 00:09:30,152 --> 00:09:31,506 Absolutely not. 168 00:09:31,653 --> 00:09:34,293 Political writing confronts your assumptions. 169 00:09:34,490 --> 00:09:36,686 - Propaganda can do that. - No, it cannot. 170 00:09:36,867 --> 00:09:39,905 Propaganda merely reinforces what that person wishes to be told. 171 00:09:40,120 --> 00:09:42,509 That means the definition is determined by the audience. 172 00:09:42,706 --> 00:09:44,983 - That's one way of looking at it. - You can't do that. 173 00:09:45,168 --> 00:09:47,444 You can't define literature in terms of the audience. 174 00:09:47,629 --> 00:09:50,098 Far be it from me to expect reason and common sense... 175 00:09:50,298 --> 00:09:52,653 to triumph above youthful omniscience... 176 00:09:52,842 --> 00:09:55,641 so for today, we shall stop until next week. 177 00:09:57,055 --> 00:09:58,534 - Rory, hi. - Stop it. 178 00:09:58,681 --> 00:10:01,879 I thought I'd do some laundry, and I don't have a full load of whites... 179 00:10:02,103 --> 00:10:03,662 so if you have whites, toss them in. 180 00:10:03,813 --> 00:10:06,612 I don't want to be your beard anymore. Just go talk to Asher. 181 00:10:06,816 --> 00:10:08,966 I don't take his class. People will get suspicious. 182 00:10:09,151 --> 00:10:11,347 What, is he taking confession? You can't go. 183 00:10:11,529 --> 00:10:13,361 I'm not gonna be in this class forever... 184 00:10:13,531 --> 00:10:16,092 which means next year, you'll have to find another idiot... 185 00:10:16,284 --> 00:10:17,922 to stand here until the coast is clear. 186 00:10:18,078 --> 00:10:19,910 It's all going to be coming out eventually. 187 00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:22,515 Asher asked me to go to Oxford with him this summer. 188 00:10:22,707 --> 00:10:25,381 Really? Oxford? That's... 189 00:10:27,295 --> 00:10:30,014 - This is really getting serious. - There's now travel involved. 190 00:10:30,215 --> 00:10:32,969 As soon as news of the trip gets around, the secret is out. 191 00:10:33,177 --> 00:10:34,406 - I guess so. - Crap. 192 00:10:34,554 --> 00:10:37,831 Pretend you have to see him. You were confused on the last point he made. 193 00:10:38,057 --> 00:10:41,015 You were gonna ask him after class but Toby wouldn't stop yapping. 194 00:10:41,227 --> 00:10:43,264 I feel my mouth moving, something's coming out. 195 00:10:43,438 --> 00:10:44,558 Walk faster. We'll miss him. 196 00:10:53,866 --> 00:10:55,618 - Did you find what you need? - Yeah. Fine. 197 00:10:55,784 --> 00:10:57,661 - What are you doing? - I have to ring them up. 198 00:10:57,828 --> 00:11:00,900 I'll just tell you the prices. This one is $24.99. 199 00:11:01,123 --> 00:11:02,717 - That high? - They're your prices. 200 00:11:02,876 --> 00:11:04,275 Can I see the book? 201 00:11:04,419 --> 00:11:07,252 Wait, that's the Canadian price. It's $14.99. 202 00:11:07,464 --> 00:11:08,943 Will you let me scan the book? 203 00:11:09,090 --> 00:11:11,206 When you scan the book, do you see the title? 204 00:11:11,384 --> 00:11:12,419 - Yes. - Then no. 205 00:11:12,552 --> 00:11:14,225 What do you got there, porn? 206 00:11:14,387 --> 00:11:15,502 - You sell porn? - No! 207 00:11:15,638 --> 00:11:17,319 Think I brought my own porn in here to buy? 208 00:11:17,475 --> 00:11:20,354 I don't know what you're doing. I just need to scan the books. 209 00:11:20,561 --> 00:11:23,713 - This should cover it. - $100? That's way too much. 210 00:11:23,981 --> 00:11:25,176 Take it. 211 00:11:30,404 --> 00:11:31,404 Bag. 212 00:12:00,478 --> 00:12:01,638 MAN: [On tape recorder] Love! 213 00:12:02,105 --> 00:12:04,143 You want it? You can have it. 214 00:12:04,316 --> 00:12:06,876 And not compromised, stifled, soul-killing love... 215 00:12:07,069 --> 00:12:09,265 but open, honest, life-affirming love. 216 00:12:09,446 --> 00:12:11,960 But how do you get it? How do you get this love? 217 00:12:12,157 --> 00:12:14,034 If I knew that, what would I need you for? 218 00:12:14,201 --> 00:12:16,795 It's going to take work. It's going to take introspection. 219 00:12:16,995 --> 00:12:18,713 You're gonna have to learn new things: 220 00:12:18,872 --> 00:12:20,352 how to be your own best friend... 221 00:12:20,500 --> 00:12:23,140 how to treat your damaged psyche with a little kindness... 222 00:12:23,336 --> 00:12:25,691 "how to say," Pal, you're worth it. 223 00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:28,918 "You mean something to someone, and you deserve love." 224 00:12:29,134 --> 00:12:30,408 That is the key. 225 00:12:30,552 --> 00:12:33,112 If you crave love, then you deserve love. 226 00:12:33,304 --> 00:12:34,578 Say that to yourself. 227 00:12:34,722 --> 00:12:37,841 "If I crave love, I deserve love." 228 00:12:38,102 --> 00:12:39,217 [Sighing deeply] 229 00:12:39,353 --> 00:12:41,151 Now, how did that feel coming out? 230 00:12:41,313 --> 00:12:43,748 I'll bet it was hard. I'll bet you felt ridiculous. 231 00:12:43,941 --> 00:12:47,013 Some of you may even have been incapable of saying it at all. 232 00:12:47,236 --> 00:12:49,113 - Try again. - I'm not incapable. 233 00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:51,801 I just haven't been hit in the head with the Oprah stick lately. 234 00:12:51,992 --> 00:12:54,506 Trust me, my friend, it will get easier. 235 00:12:54,703 --> 00:12:57,900 Until one day, you turn around, and you are not alone. 236 00:12:58,123 --> 00:13:01,434 Ready to begin the journey? It's going to be one hell of a ride. 237 00:13:01,668 --> 00:13:04,899 Okay, let's go. Open up your workbook to Page 1. 238 00:13:06,716 --> 00:13:08,946 It doesn't get lower than this. 239 00:13:13,264 --> 00:13:15,540 Dean, we appreciate you working late all this week. 240 00:13:15,725 --> 00:13:17,796 I appreciate the extra cash. 241 00:13:20,188 --> 00:13:22,703 The wire snapped. I can fix it. 242 00:13:22,900 --> 00:13:25,813 - He's like a superhero. - He's my super Mr. Fix-it man. 243 00:13:26,028 --> 00:13:28,258 - We'll work on a name. - Your tool belt will glow. 244 00:13:28,447 --> 00:13:29,846 I can't wait. 245 00:13:30,532 --> 00:13:33,251 What did you think of the onion soup I made today? 246 00:13:33,452 --> 00:13:35,602 - It was good. - Good enough for the opening? 247 00:13:35,788 --> 00:13:37,188 No, we have to serve... 248 00:13:37,332 --> 00:13:40,085 your critically acclaimed zucchini soup for the opening. 249 00:13:40,293 --> 00:13:42,967 But Jackson has some concerns about the zucchini crop... 250 00:13:43,171 --> 00:13:44,525 so I want to have a backup. 251 00:13:44,672 --> 00:13:47,391 We've got to serve the zucchini soup. People are expecting it. 252 00:13:47,592 --> 00:13:51,108 - The zucchini have got to be there. - I'll tell Jackson he has to have them. 253 00:13:51,346 --> 00:13:53,418 - Dean, come on. - Lindsay, I'm working. 254 00:13:53,599 --> 00:13:55,715 - How shocking. - What do you want me to do? 255 00:13:55,893 --> 00:13:58,093 We were supposed to go out with Erika and David tonight. 256 00:13:58,187 --> 00:14:00,178 - I can't. - Why would you say you could? 257 00:14:00,356 --> 00:14:04,031 I told you if there was a chance for some extra hours that I was gonna take it. 258 00:14:04,276 --> 00:14:08,236 - We never do anything, Dean. - We need money! You know that, Lindsay! 259 00:14:08,490 --> 00:14:11,960 You are so incredibly selfish. You never think about me. Never. 260 00:14:12,202 --> 00:14:14,352 You want a townhouse? You want a new car? 261 00:14:14,538 --> 00:14:18,133 - We need money to pay for these things. - I sit at home all day waiting for you. 262 00:14:18,375 --> 00:14:21,493 You never call during the day like you always promise you will. 263 00:14:21,711 --> 00:14:24,352 I'm bored, Dean. Don't you care about that? 264 00:14:24,549 --> 00:14:27,382 I want to go out with my husband. We're married here! 265 00:14:27,593 --> 00:14:30,593 - I'll be done in a couple of hours... - I'm going out with Erika and David. 266 00:14:30,805 --> 00:14:33,035 Fine. Go. When will you be home? 267 00:14:33,224 --> 00:14:36,854 - When I get home. - That's nice, Lindsay. That's real nice. 268 00:14:37,103 --> 00:14:38,582 Whatever, Dean. 269 00:14:39,606 --> 00:14:40,606 [Door slamming] 270 00:14:42,317 --> 00:14:45,833 MAN: [On car stereo] Complete the following sentence. I feel angry because... 271 00:14:46,071 --> 00:14:48,062 I am listening to this tape. 272 00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:50,277 I feel hopeful because... 273 00:14:50,451 --> 00:14:52,249 This tape must end eventually. 274 00:14:52,411 --> 00:14:54,243 I feel helpless because... 275 00:14:54,413 --> 00:14:57,247 I wonder if anyone's ever kicked an audiotape's ass. 276 00:14:58,209 --> 00:14:59,404 Hold on. 277 00:15:03,173 --> 00:15:06,245 - What are you doing here? - Look how happy he is to see me. 278 00:15:06,468 --> 00:15:08,584 I just didn't expect it, that's all. 279 00:15:08,761 --> 00:15:10,958 My brother. You remember T.J., right? 280 00:15:11,140 --> 00:15:13,131 - I'm still here. - How you doing, T.J.? 281 00:15:13,309 --> 00:15:15,778 Lizzie, I don't know. How am I doing? 282 00:15:15,978 --> 00:15:18,447 He's doing great 'cause we're getting married. 283 00:15:18,647 --> 00:15:21,082 - Married? Really? - We're doing it right here next week. 284 00:15:21,275 --> 00:15:22,345 That's fast. 285 00:15:22,485 --> 00:15:25,523 We wanted to do it before the circuit started, so our friends could come. 286 00:15:25,738 --> 00:15:27,650 It's gonna be so beautiful. Wait till you see. 287 00:15:27,824 --> 00:15:29,781 - You ever been to a Renaissance wedding? - No. 288 00:15:29,951 --> 00:15:32,545 It's great. Horses, costumes, really big turkey legs. 289 00:15:32,746 --> 00:15:35,465 - You're gonna love it. - Okay, you gotta slow down here. 290 00:15:35,665 --> 00:15:38,134 - No way. You slow down, you die. - When did this happen? 291 00:15:38,335 --> 00:15:41,772 Last week. T.J. asked me, I said yes, we made a few phone calls... 292 00:15:42,006 --> 00:15:45,203 and here we are, grabbing life by the ping-pongs, as T.J. says. 293 00:15:45,426 --> 00:15:48,145 There's gonna be a bachelor party. My brother's coming down... 294 00:15:48,346 --> 00:15:50,282 got a couple of friends dropping in. It'll be fun! 295 00:15:50,306 --> 00:15:52,616 - You have to go. - Sure, if you want me to. 296 00:15:52,809 --> 00:15:56,689 Want you to? Of course I want you to. I want you to be my best man, also. 297 00:15:56,939 --> 00:15:57,760 You're kidding. 298 00:15:57,772 --> 00:15:59,977 Of course I am. You'd be 800th on the list. 299 00:16:00,192 --> 00:16:02,581 But you can come to the bachelor party if you want. 300 00:16:02,778 --> 00:16:05,531 - Are you happy for me? Say you are. - Sure, I'm happy for you. 301 00:16:05,739 --> 00:16:07,571 Of course I'll go to your bachelor party. 302 00:16:07,741 --> 00:16:10,017 Keeping up appearances that we like each other... 303 00:16:10,202 --> 00:16:12,672 - very classy for the wedding. - T.J., come on. 304 00:16:12,872 --> 00:16:14,988 I'm going to get some beer. 305 00:16:15,542 --> 00:16:17,533 Where's he going? He doesn't know where to go. 306 00:16:17,710 --> 00:16:22,102 He's got a nose for these things. Wait till you see this wedding. 307 00:16:22,382 --> 00:16:25,056 My God. It's unbelievable. 308 00:16:25,260 --> 00:16:27,649 - I'm wearing a white dress. - That is unbelievable. 309 00:16:27,846 --> 00:16:28,847 Stop it. 310 00:16:28,973 --> 00:16:31,328 It's about a zillion years old with flowing sleeves. 311 00:16:31,517 --> 00:16:33,588 I'm like Vanessa Redgrave in Camelot. 312 00:16:33,769 --> 00:16:36,807 Seriously, I love myself in this dress. 313 00:16:37,022 --> 00:16:38,620 Sounds like a good dress. 314 00:16:38,632 --> 00:16:41,255 I'm so excited. I'm getting married again. 315 00:16:43,989 --> 00:16:46,299 So how are you gonna do this so quickly? 316 00:16:47,367 --> 00:16:50,405 We're gonna have the ceremony right out there in the square. 317 00:16:50,620 --> 00:16:53,089 We've got our Renaissance Fair buds all pitching in. 318 00:16:53,290 --> 00:16:55,520 We got the Scotch egg guy to cater it... 319 00:16:55,709 --> 00:16:58,428 and T.J.'s gonna write the vows. You won't have to do a thing. 320 00:16:58,628 --> 00:17:00,859 - Sure. - I swear, everything's taken care of. 321 00:17:01,048 --> 00:17:03,164 - Carrie's gonna be my maid of honor. - Terrific. 322 00:17:03,342 --> 00:17:06,095 - She's a good friend. - To one and all. Does Jess know? 323 00:17:06,304 --> 00:17:07,817 - He knows. - Did he take it well? 324 00:17:07,972 --> 00:17:10,088 - Took it like Jess. - Meaning? 325 00:17:10,558 --> 00:17:12,276 - He's not coming. - Why not? 326 00:17:12,435 --> 00:17:14,426 - He's young, he's busy. - Busy doing what? 327 00:17:14,605 --> 00:17:18,200 I don't know. It's okay. I just thought... But it's no biggie. 328 00:17:18,442 --> 00:17:21,321 - I mean, I got you there, right? - Yeah. 329 00:17:21,528 --> 00:17:22,598 Are you gonna dress up? 330 00:17:22,738 --> 00:17:24,411 - Absolutely. - As a minstrel? 331 00:17:24,573 --> 00:17:27,042 Who's the guy who jumps around in bells and a pointy hat? 332 00:17:27,242 --> 00:17:30,361 - The court jester. - I will come as a court jester. 333 00:17:31,206 --> 00:17:32,719 You're a good brother. 334 00:17:32,874 --> 00:17:35,104 You got any of that terrible peach pie you make? 335 00:17:35,293 --> 00:17:36,692 I'm starving. 336 00:17:38,087 --> 00:17:40,237 - Hello. - Did you bring the Nutter Butters? 337 00:17:40,423 --> 00:17:43,620 - I'm fine. I missed you, too. - We have achieved culinary perfection. 338 00:17:43,843 --> 00:17:45,072 What's with the carrots? 339 00:17:45,220 --> 00:17:47,497 I was afraid you weren't eating right at school. 340 00:17:47,681 --> 00:17:49,718 - Marshmallow? - Thank you. 341 00:17:49,892 --> 00:17:51,929 Man, I've missed AI's Chinese night. 342 00:17:52,102 --> 00:17:54,935 He's got a new thing now, chicken chow mein sandwich. 343 00:17:55,606 --> 00:17:58,644 What exactly was Grandma's excuse for canceling Friday night dinner? 344 00:17:58,859 --> 00:18:00,532 Dad was traveling and she had a function. 345 00:18:00,694 --> 00:18:02,735 - It was that generic? - She put no thought into it. 346 00:18:02,864 --> 00:18:05,583 It was muffled, but at the end of the call, I heard a knock... 347 00:18:05,784 --> 00:18:08,458 - and someone yelling, "Turndown service." - Living in a hotel. 348 00:18:08,662 --> 00:18:10,862 - And hiding it. - Poor Grandma. We should talk to them. 349 00:18:10,956 --> 00:18:12,469 - "We"? - You. I'm a child. 350 00:18:12,624 --> 00:18:15,901 Talking is not my parents' thing. It would humiliate them if they knew... 351 00:18:16,128 --> 00:18:18,723 that we knew that they are whatever they are. 352 00:18:18,923 --> 00:18:21,312 - So we do nothing? - We wait until one of them cracks. 353 00:18:21,509 --> 00:18:24,581 - How many tapes are we watching? - Every time I started watching... 354 00:18:24,804 --> 00:18:27,364 something I thought you would like, I stopped watching it... 355 00:18:27,557 --> 00:18:29,548 and saved it for when we could watch it together. 356 00:18:29,725 --> 00:18:31,636 So I watched the first 10 minutes of 12 movies. 357 00:18:31,811 --> 00:18:33,485 Which one are we gonna watch? 358 00:18:33,647 --> 00:18:37,038 The absolute funniest movie known to man: Fatso. 359 00:18:37,276 --> 00:18:38,505 I'm loving the title. 360 00:18:38,652 --> 00:18:42,725 - Anne Bancroft wrote and directed it. - Annie Sullivan, look at you go. 361 00:18:43,615 --> 00:18:45,367 How's everything at the inn coming along? 362 00:18:45,534 --> 00:18:48,368 Everyone's freaking out because we've got a million things to do. 363 00:18:48,580 --> 00:18:51,572 But we finally got the pictures up. The beds were delivered today. 364 00:18:51,791 --> 00:18:54,146 I forgot. A little bit of gossip. 365 00:18:54,711 --> 00:18:56,543 - What? - It's not fun gossip. 366 00:18:57,589 --> 00:19:00,661 Sookie and I overheard Dean and Lindsay having a major fight. 367 00:19:00,884 --> 00:19:03,320 - It was ugly. - Really? About what? 368 00:19:03,512 --> 00:19:06,391 She was mad because he was working late to make some extra cash. 369 00:19:06,599 --> 00:19:09,113 She wanted to go out, and it got heated and vicious... 370 00:19:09,310 --> 00:19:11,506 and the whole thing ended with a "Whatever, Dean." 371 00:19:11,687 --> 00:19:13,678 - That sounds bad. - It wasn't good. 372 00:19:13,856 --> 00:19:16,132 - Maybe they'll make up. - I hope so. 373 00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:17,834 Yeah, me, too. 374 00:19:18,235 --> 00:19:19,795 ALL: Fat! 375 00:19:19,946 --> 00:19:22,552 This is the greatest thing I've ever seen. 376 00:19:22,564 --> 00:19:23,576 Kiss the Mommy. 377 00:19:35,922 --> 00:19:38,391 Neighbor, the guys next door just ran out of crack to sell... 378 00:19:38,591 --> 00:19:40,741 so they sent me over to borrow a cup. 379 00:19:40,927 --> 00:19:43,567 Nice place. You put those holes there yourself? 380 00:19:44,722 --> 00:19:47,601 - What are you doing here? - Just wanted to see how you were doing. 381 00:19:47,809 --> 00:19:50,199 - Doing great. - You're doing great. 382 00:19:50,395 --> 00:19:52,432 I'm not doing great, and I have running water. 383 00:19:52,606 --> 00:19:54,995 - The place is fine. - What happened to "great"? 384 00:19:55,192 --> 00:19:57,149 All this and no housewarming gift. 385 00:19:57,319 --> 00:20:00,471 Sorry. I just thought you were going nowhere with your life. 386 00:20:00,697 --> 00:20:03,450 Glad I'm wrong. Which filthy mattress is yours? 387 00:20:03,659 --> 00:20:04,729 Right there. 388 00:20:04,868 --> 00:20:06,701 Got the good corner, with a view of the mold. 389 00:20:06,871 --> 00:20:10,023 Yeah, I won the toss. If you don't mind, I've got places to be. 390 00:20:10,250 --> 00:20:11,399 Let's get down to it. 391 00:20:11,543 --> 00:20:13,659 Liz told me you weren't coming to the wedding. 392 00:20:13,837 --> 00:20:16,147 - No way you're here about that. - I am here about that. 393 00:20:16,339 --> 00:20:18,376 - Why? - Why? Your mother's getting married... 394 00:20:18,550 --> 00:20:21,350 - and you're not coming. - No biggie. I'll just catch the next one. 395 00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:23,272 - This guy is different. - Come on. 396 00:20:23,430 --> 00:20:26,024 He could be different. He seems different. 397 00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:29,024 I've seen him with Liz. They seem to work. 398 00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,838 We need to support this thing to give it a chance. 399 00:20:32,022 --> 00:20:35,219 - No, we don't. - You are gonna regret this. 400 00:20:35,442 --> 00:20:37,081 - I doubt it. - No, you are. 401 00:20:37,237 --> 00:20:39,706 If you ever manage to grow up and get yourself together... 402 00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:42,625 and drop the selfish, self-destructive behavior you're so fond of... 403 00:20:42,826 --> 00:20:45,102 you are gonna look back on this moment... 404 00:20:45,287 --> 00:20:48,643 and feel like a big steaming mound of crap that you missed this. 405 00:20:48,874 --> 00:20:50,387 This could have been a turning point. 406 00:20:50,542 --> 00:20:52,743 You could have witnessed something good for your mother. 407 00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:54,240 Yes, she's screwed up a bit... 408 00:20:54,380 --> 00:20:56,817 but now she seems to have found something to make her happy... 409 00:20:56,841 --> 00:20:59,041 and you'll miss that. You refuse to be a part of that... 410 00:20:59,135 --> 00:21:00,455 then you are gonna be very sorry. 411 00:21:00,595 --> 00:21:01,790 [Beeping] 412 00:21:02,263 --> 00:21:05,096 - What, are you a drug dealer now? - I'm a messenger. I gotta go. 413 00:21:05,308 --> 00:21:07,983 - It's 4:00. - You owe me. 414 00:21:08,937 --> 00:21:12,817 I was there for you when no one else was, and I want you there, and you owe me. 415 00:21:13,066 --> 00:21:15,262 - I gotta go. - So do I. 416 00:21:15,861 --> 00:21:17,374 I'm going first. 417 00:21:18,071 --> 00:21:19,391 Hey, Todd. 418 00:21:24,871 --> 00:21:26,464 I know what I'm talking about. 419 00:21:26,623 --> 00:21:29,854 I'm looking for stalks of wheat, not processed wheat. 420 00:21:30,668 --> 00:21:34,138 That's putting it another way. I need bare-ass stalks. Sorry. 421 00:21:34,380 --> 00:21:38,055 I know you can't eat it like that. I just need it for decoration. 422 00:21:38,301 --> 00:21:41,181 No, I'm not going poofy on you, damn it! Sorry. 423 00:21:41,388 --> 00:21:43,345 I just need to know whether you have it or not. 424 00:21:43,516 --> 00:21:45,587 No? Okay, whatever. Thanks. 425 00:21:45,768 --> 00:21:49,363 Is there no wheat left in this country? Isn't Kansas lousy with wheat? 426 00:21:49,605 --> 00:21:52,882 I recall Toto running through fields of it. Coffee to go, please. 427 00:21:53,108 --> 00:21:54,782 - Why do you need wheat? - Liz's wedding. 428 00:21:54,945 --> 00:21:56,538 - Liz is getting married? - She and T.J. 429 00:21:56,696 --> 00:21:57,976 - Did I know this? - I guess not. 430 00:21:58,073 --> 00:21:59,143 In New York? 431 00:21:59,282 --> 00:22:02,240 - In the square, a Renaissance thing. - Could I be a little more behind? 432 00:22:02,452 --> 00:22:03,812 I got sucked in, just like always. 433 00:22:03,995 --> 00:22:06,589 First day, their cell phone died, so I let them use the phone. 434 00:22:06,790 --> 00:22:09,749 Then I offered to make the call 'cause I knew who they were calling. 435 00:22:09,961 --> 00:22:12,601 I had to pick something up 'cause I couldn't find T.J. to do it. 436 00:22:12,797 --> 00:22:15,630 I'm hunting down wheat stalks and looking for local pewter craftsmen. 437 00:22:15,842 --> 00:22:17,480 Do you know where I can find myrtle? 438 00:22:17,635 --> 00:22:19,467 - Did you check the bingo parlor? - The plant. 439 00:22:19,637 --> 00:22:21,787 Don't add stuff from your to-do list to my to-do list. 440 00:22:21,973 --> 00:22:23,452 - Here's your coffee. - Thank you. 441 00:22:23,599 --> 00:22:25,591 I can't believe I didn't know about this wedding. 442 00:22:25,769 --> 00:22:27,840 - I'm caught up on everything, right? - I'd say so. 443 00:22:28,021 --> 00:22:30,456 I'm not paying for a motel, so I'm staying with you. 444 00:22:30,649 --> 00:22:31,684 Liar! 445 00:22:31,817 --> 00:22:34,377 I wasn't sure he was coming. I went to see him in New York. 446 00:22:34,570 --> 00:22:36,481 I needed things picked up in New York. 447 00:22:36,655 --> 00:22:38,965 Don't add stuff from your to-do list to my to-do list. 448 00:22:39,158 --> 00:22:40,512 - Sorry. - It's okay. 449 00:22:40,659 --> 00:22:41,660 I should go. 450 00:22:41,786 --> 00:22:44,744 Do you know that if the entire population of China walked by... 451 00:22:44,956 --> 00:22:48,074 the line would never end because of the rate of population increase? 452 00:22:48,293 --> 00:22:50,807 That's my list. Every Chinese person in the world. 453 00:22:51,004 --> 00:22:52,438 - Scary. - Scary. 454 00:22:53,465 --> 00:22:56,105 - What do you think? Friday night good? - I'm busy, Glen. 455 00:22:56,302 --> 00:22:59,533 You're never busy on Friday nights. You always eat dinner early... 456 00:22:59,763 --> 00:23:01,720 and watch TV and go to bed around 10:30. 457 00:23:01,891 --> 00:23:03,165 You're spying on me? 458 00:23:03,309 --> 00:23:05,269 Close your blinds if you're gonna be so sensitive. 459 00:23:05,352 --> 00:23:06,501 [Cell phone ringing] 460 00:23:06,645 --> 00:23:07,760 Hello? 461 00:23:08,314 --> 00:23:10,828 Paris, slow down. Where are you? 462 00:23:11,442 --> 00:23:14,561 Stop saying "the hospital." There are tons of hospitals. Which one? 463 00:23:16,448 --> 00:23:19,122 - You're here. - I do show up occasionally. 464 00:23:19,326 --> 00:23:21,840 The place looks the same. Is that your dinner? 465 00:23:22,037 --> 00:23:24,392 Couldn't book my usual table at Le Cirque. 466 00:23:25,916 --> 00:23:28,227 I wasn't sure what food I could eat. 467 00:23:28,419 --> 00:23:30,535 Eat what you like. Start with the expired stuff. 468 00:23:30,713 --> 00:23:32,033 Maybe I'll go out. 469 00:23:32,173 --> 00:23:34,528 I'm hearing a good buzz about a chow mein sandwich. 470 00:23:34,717 --> 00:23:38,187 What's on the playlist these days? I'm guessing Jethro Tull or Jethro Tull. 471 00:23:38,429 --> 00:23:40,261 - Just stay away from that. - What's with you? 472 00:23:40,431 --> 00:23:43,709 Eat my food, use my shower. Just don't go poking around my stuff. 473 00:23:43,936 --> 00:23:45,006 Mr. Sensitive. 474 00:23:45,145 --> 00:23:47,534 - Enjoy your evening. - Don't wait up. 475 00:23:53,654 --> 00:23:55,882 MAN: [On tape recorder] ...you're a road in need of some repair. 476 00:23:55,906 --> 00:23:58,102 If your score is between 30 and 40 points... 477 00:23:58,283 --> 00:24:01,481 then you're a road laden with potholes and you need a double striping. 478 00:24:01,704 --> 00:24:03,661 And if your score is 40 or above... 479 00:24:03,832 --> 00:24:06,745 it's jackhammer time because your roadie impassable. 480 00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:08,997 - [Sarcastically] Yikes. - Chapter 7. 481 00:24:09,671 --> 00:24:12,584 Men, a question: What is fantasy? 482 00:24:12,841 --> 00:24:15,516 The answer: Fantasy is the imaginative fulfillment... 483 00:24:15,719 --> 00:24:17,073 of your heart's desire. 484 00:24:17,221 --> 00:24:19,781 And one of the most common fantasies for single men... 485 00:24:19,974 --> 00:24:22,363 is the fantasy of your ultimate companion. 486 00:24:24,145 --> 00:24:27,297 Story time: I had a friend, let's call him Phillip... 487 00:24:27,523 --> 00:24:31,040 who couldn't make up his mind amongst three different women that he liked. 488 00:24:31,278 --> 00:24:34,236 I developed a test for him. And for you. 489 00:24:34,447 --> 00:24:35,767 Goody. 490 00:24:35,907 --> 00:24:39,423 Whose phone calls or visits are never unwanted or too long? 491 00:24:39,661 --> 00:24:41,015 Do you see her face? 492 00:24:41,163 --> 00:24:43,723 Who would you most like to have in your life... 493 00:24:43,915 --> 00:24:46,066 to ward off moments of loneliness? 494 00:24:46,252 --> 00:24:47,970 Do you see her face? 495 00:24:48,254 --> 00:24:51,884 When you travel, who would make your travels more enjoyable? 496 00:24:52,175 --> 00:24:54,007 Do you see her face? 497 00:24:54,302 --> 00:24:57,897 When you're in pain, who would you most like to comfort you? 498 00:24:58,139 --> 00:24:59,891 Do you see her face? 499 00:25:00,224 --> 00:25:02,535 When something wonderful happens in your life... 500 00:25:02,728 --> 00:25:05,686 a promotion at work, a successful refinancing... 501 00:25:05,898 --> 00:25:08,458 who do you want to share the news with? 502 00:25:08,650 --> 00:25:10,448 Do you see her face? 503 00:25:10,861 --> 00:25:13,421 Whose face appears to you, my friend? 504 00:25:14,072 --> 00:25:15,392 Whose face? 505 00:25:24,083 --> 00:25:27,599 Excuse me, I'm sorry. I'm not sure which floor to go to. 506 00:25:27,837 --> 00:25:30,909 I've been getting conflicting advice. A friend of mine is here... 507 00:25:31,132 --> 00:25:33,807 but she didn't say exactly where, so I'm just wondering... 508 00:25:34,011 --> 00:25:36,002 PARIS: Why do I have to say everything twice? 509 00:25:36,180 --> 00:25:37,853 I don't want my time wasted that way. 510 00:25:38,015 --> 00:25:39,653 You don't want your time wasted that way. 511 00:25:39,809 --> 00:25:42,085 Lives are dependent on you people not wasting your time. 512 00:25:42,269 --> 00:25:45,466 I came here because of your reputation. Don't make me destroy it. 513 00:25:45,689 --> 00:25:46,884 You have to lower your voice. 514 00:25:47,024 --> 00:25:49,255 That is professor Asher Fleming of Yale University. 515 00:25:49,444 --> 00:25:53,119 He's an important man, and you're acting like you're gonna sell his spleen to UCLA. 516 00:25:53,365 --> 00:25:54,799 The procedures are the procedures. 517 00:25:54,950 --> 00:25:56,907 Really? I thought the procedures were a hat. 518 00:25:57,077 --> 00:25:59,114 Hit me with some more lame tautology, Socrates. 519 00:25:59,287 --> 00:26:02,166 Enough. Calm down, take a seat, and let us continue our work. 520 00:26:02,374 --> 00:26:05,208 You men, always telling us to calm down. Me, Hillary, Martha... 521 00:26:05,419 --> 00:26:08,650 the second we make a squeak, you're pushing us onto the fainting couch. 522 00:26:08,881 --> 00:26:11,236 Asher asked for a moistened towel 20 minutes ago... 523 00:26:11,425 --> 00:26:13,177 and no one's brought him a moistened towel. 524 00:26:13,344 --> 00:26:16,097 This man is an award-winning novelist, a sought-after lecturer. 525 00:26:16,305 --> 00:26:19,503 He deserves a moistened towel! Give me a towel, I'll moisten it myself! 526 00:26:19,726 --> 00:26:21,160 Paris, come on. Fill me in. 527 00:26:21,311 --> 00:26:23,541 Stat! Do you not know what "stat" means? 528 00:26:23,730 --> 00:26:26,609 - They say it on all the hospital shows. - Paris, what's happening? 529 00:26:26,817 --> 00:26:28,410 - It's Asher. - What's happening? 530 00:26:28,569 --> 00:26:31,004 We were out getting some gelato. He dropped his spoon... 531 00:26:31,196 --> 00:26:33,665 and he started to lean on me like he was about to fall... 532 00:26:33,867 --> 00:26:35,380 and he was having these pains. 533 00:26:35,535 --> 00:26:38,254 - My God. - We sat down, and he said he was fine... 534 00:26:38,454 --> 00:26:40,252 but I got worried because he looked so pale. 535 00:26:40,415 --> 00:26:43,407 So I rushed him here to this chop shop masquerading as a hospital... 536 00:26:43,626 --> 00:26:45,105 and I can't get anyone to help him. 537 00:26:45,253 --> 00:26:47,927 This is a really good hospital. They know what they're doing. 538 00:26:48,173 --> 00:26:51,087 They wouldn't let me see him because I'm not a blood relative. 539 00:26:51,302 --> 00:26:52,940 He's got two grown kids. Where are they? 540 00:26:53,095 --> 00:26:55,450 You put food on their table, a roof over their heads... 541 00:26:55,639 --> 00:26:58,233 - and this is how they repay you? - Is it serious? 542 00:26:58,434 --> 00:27:01,074 It wasn't a heart attack. It was angina or something. 543 00:27:01,270 --> 00:27:04,228 - I think he's gonna be fine. But... - But what? 544 00:27:04,941 --> 00:27:09,094 The wobbling, the look on his face, the angina. He's old. 545 00:27:09,362 --> 00:27:11,672 - What? - He has pains, he wobbles. 546 00:27:11,865 --> 00:27:14,584 I spotted him through the curtain when the doctor came out... 547 00:27:14,784 --> 00:27:17,094 and he was just lying on that bed all alone... 548 00:27:17,287 --> 00:27:20,245 and he had his eyes open and was just staring at the ceiling. 549 00:27:20,458 --> 00:27:22,927 - He looked so close to death. - He's not that close. 550 00:27:23,127 --> 00:27:24,162 He's closer than me. 551 00:27:24,295 --> 00:27:26,252 An anvil could hit you on the head tomorrow... 552 00:27:26,422 --> 00:27:28,015 and he could live another 40 years. 553 00:27:28,174 --> 00:27:30,609 I'm 19. I should be rollicking. Asher doesn't rollick. 554 00:27:30,801 --> 00:27:33,361 He probably didn't rollick when he was younger. He's British. 555 00:27:33,554 --> 00:27:35,794 You should have seen how he was staring at the ceiling... 556 00:27:35,848 --> 00:27:37,601 - like he was looking at God. - He wasn't. 557 00:27:37,768 --> 00:27:39,964 You've probably been laughing at me all these months. 558 00:27:40,145 --> 00:27:41,977 - No, I haven't. - I'm in a hospital. 559 00:27:42,147 --> 00:27:44,787 I should be at a discotheque. Are kids still into that? 560 00:27:44,983 --> 00:27:47,975 Let's get you something to drink. Let the hospital do their work. 561 00:27:48,195 --> 00:27:50,835 - He orders old gelato. - Old gelato? 562 00:27:51,031 --> 00:27:52,989 Vanilla. It's a very old flavor. 563 00:27:53,910 --> 00:27:56,379 - I hate these pillows with a passion. - They look good. 564 00:27:56,579 --> 00:27:58,019 - Good, not great? - They look great. 565 00:27:58,164 --> 00:27:59,518 - Great, not fabulous? - Fabulous. 566 00:27:59,666 --> 00:28:01,339 - Fabulous, not mondo-fabulous? - Come on. 567 00:28:01,501 --> 00:28:03,141 - They look good to me. - Good, not great? 568 00:28:03,294 --> 00:28:04,534 - Lorelai. - Twenty-eight to go. 569 00:28:04,671 --> 00:28:07,551 Does it bother you that the word "laundry" is misspelled? 570 00:28:07,758 --> 00:28:11,069 No! I proofed these pages a million times. 571 00:28:11,303 --> 00:28:15,217 That breaks my heart. L-A-U-N-D-R-Y. That's right. 572 00:28:15,474 --> 00:28:18,626 - No, it's D-R-I-E. - No, laundry: L-A-U-N-D-R-Y. 573 00:28:18,853 --> 00:28:21,208 - There's no "U." - There's a "U" but no "Y." 574 00:28:21,397 --> 00:28:23,833 - There's a "Y" but no "I-E," and a "U." - Or a "U." 575 00:28:24,025 --> 00:28:27,461 There's a "U." there's no "I-E." It's a "Y." This is giving me a headache. 576 00:28:27,696 --> 00:28:29,812 Does "consommé" have two "M's"? 577 00:28:29,990 --> 00:28:32,550 - Hey, Abbott, just assemble the books. - It's getting late. 578 00:28:32,742 --> 00:28:34,255 How late can you stay, Sookie? 579 00:28:34,411 --> 00:28:36,687 As late as you want. Davey's with his grandparents... 580 00:28:36,872 --> 00:28:38,591 and Jackson's sleeping with the zucchini. 581 00:28:38,749 --> 00:28:41,343 - Is that farm jargon? - No, he's sleeping with the zucchini. 582 00:28:41,544 --> 00:28:45,299 - What does that mean? - It means he's sleeping with the zucchini. 583 00:28:45,631 --> 00:28:47,519 Sookie, fill me in here. Where's Jackson? 584 00:28:47,531 --> 00:28:49,386 He checked the weather forecast today... 585 00:28:49,635 --> 00:28:52,070 and there's a potential cold front coming in from Canada. 586 00:28:52,263 --> 00:28:54,824 He knows how important the zucchini is for opening-day menu... 587 00:28:55,017 --> 00:28:57,088 So "sleeping with the zucchini" means... 588 00:28:57,269 --> 00:28:59,101 He's sleeping with the zucchini. 589 00:28:59,271 --> 00:29:02,423 She's said it four times. You're very slow tonight. 590 00:29:02,858 --> 00:29:06,089 You said to do whatever it takes to make sure we have fresh zucchini. 591 00:29:06,320 --> 00:29:09,234 - Within the realm of reason. - Now you add that. 592 00:29:09,449 --> 00:29:12,328 - Where are you going? - To the zucchini patch. 593 00:29:12,535 --> 00:29:14,924 MICHEL: All of us or... LORELAI: Michel! 594 00:29:17,081 --> 00:29:20,631 - Boys, we have arrived. - You said it, brother, my brother. 595 00:29:24,130 --> 00:29:25,883 - Stomachache? - I'm fine. 596 00:29:26,050 --> 00:29:28,519 - Check out the fresh nooks. - Nice and fresh. 597 00:29:28,719 --> 00:29:30,153 - Not your scene? - Not really. 598 00:29:30,304 --> 00:29:32,580 Mine neither. This is for the guys. 599 00:29:32,765 --> 00:29:35,279 These days, there's nothing I'd rather do in the world... 600 00:29:35,476 --> 00:29:36,596 than spoon with your sister. 601 00:29:36,644 --> 00:29:37,873 [Exhaling sharply] 602 00:29:38,020 --> 00:29:40,057 - Stomach again? - That time, yeah. 603 00:29:40,232 --> 00:29:42,906 Let's grab seats before they're all taken. 604 00:29:46,238 --> 00:29:47,238 Lap dance? 605 00:29:47,364 --> 00:29:49,924 No, thanks. I'm just here for a bachelor party. 606 00:29:50,116 --> 00:29:53,393 - That's why I'm here, too. - Thanks for the offer, but no, thank you. 607 00:29:53,620 --> 00:29:56,056 But thank you. It was nice. Thanks. Thank you. 608 00:29:56,249 --> 00:29:57,648 Thank you. 609 00:29:57,792 --> 00:30:00,227 Luke, come on. You should get a lap dance. 610 00:30:00,419 --> 00:30:02,139 - I'm fine. - Are you gonna stand all night? 611 00:30:02,255 --> 00:30:05,168 If I stand, there's no lap to dance on, everything will be easier. 612 00:30:05,383 --> 00:30:06,862 That's something there. 613 00:30:07,009 --> 00:30:11,162 What you just said about your lap. The fact is, there is no such thing as a lap. 614 00:30:11,431 --> 00:30:13,547 Think about it. It's there when you're sitting... 615 00:30:13,725 --> 00:30:16,035 but it's gone when you stand, so where does it go? 616 00:30:16,228 --> 00:30:19,778 It doesn't go anywhere. Meaning, it never was. 617 00:30:20,774 --> 00:30:23,084 So a lap is just an illusion. 618 00:30:24,111 --> 00:30:25,829 The way his mind works. 619 00:30:25,988 --> 00:30:28,424 It's something else. Where have you been? 620 00:30:28,616 --> 00:30:31,005 Bathroom. It's best to use it before the puking starts. 621 00:30:31,202 --> 00:30:33,193 You left me hanging with the lords of Flatbush. 622 00:30:33,371 --> 00:30:34,486 I'm sorry. 623 00:30:37,167 --> 00:30:39,636 - Aren't you gonna sit? - He doesn't want to make a lap. 624 00:30:39,836 --> 00:30:41,190 - A lap is an illusion. - What? 625 00:30:41,337 --> 00:30:42,612 LUKE: Don't get him started. 626 00:30:42,756 --> 00:30:45,828 - I want to talk to you later. - I always enjoy a good palaver. 627 00:30:46,552 --> 00:30:47,872 We'll talk. 628 00:30:58,857 --> 00:31:00,894 Thanks for the drink. I owe you. 629 00:31:01,067 --> 00:31:03,502 - You don't owe me anything. - You can go in now. 630 00:31:03,695 --> 00:31:07,165 Thank you. I think I'm going to go talk to him. 631 00:31:08,492 --> 00:31:10,768 And have the talk. A real talk. 632 00:31:11,578 --> 00:31:14,014 - Now? - This can't go on. It's too weird. 633 00:31:14,207 --> 00:31:16,562 - Tonight's been sort of an eye-opener. - It's up to you. 634 00:31:16,751 --> 00:31:18,671 We're supposed to leave for England in two weeks. 635 00:31:18,753 --> 00:31:20,187 I shouldn't string him along. 636 00:31:20,338 --> 00:31:23,091 Now is good, and to do it is good, for a number of reasons. 637 00:31:23,299 --> 00:31:24,369 What reasons? 638 00:31:24,509 --> 00:31:26,705 I just meant all the reasons that you already know. 639 00:31:26,886 --> 00:31:30,357 - Wait for me? Take me home? - Yeah. I'll be right out here. 640 00:31:32,643 --> 00:31:34,281 - Asher? - Paris? 641 00:31:35,312 --> 00:31:36,632 Come. 642 00:31:38,649 --> 00:31:40,879 - You needn't have stayed. - No. 643 00:31:41,151 --> 00:31:42,425 I mean, I had the keys. 644 00:31:42,569 --> 00:31:44,561 Then it was very convenient that you did stay. 645 00:31:44,739 --> 00:31:48,050 - Did you ever get your towel? - Five of them. And I'm very grateful. 646 00:31:48,284 --> 00:31:49,843 Thank you, angel. 647 00:31:50,662 --> 00:31:52,300 - Yes? - Are you feeling better? 648 00:31:52,455 --> 00:31:55,334 - I'm feeling much better. - Good. I'm glad. 649 00:31:55,875 --> 00:31:58,754 You read all these awful stories in the paper... 650 00:31:58,962 --> 00:32:02,274 a guy comes in with a stomachache, and they amputate his foot. 651 00:32:03,342 --> 00:32:04,855 Come, sit down. 652 00:32:09,682 --> 00:32:12,561 You know, a hospital seems a wonderful place... 653 00:32:12,768 --> 00:32:15,521 to discuss something serious, doesn't it? 654 00:32:15,981 --> 00:32:17,130 I guess. 655 00:32:18,525 --> 00:32:20,482 I want you to know that I'm grateful... 656 00:32:20,652 --> 00:32:24,202 for every moment that we've spent together this past year. 657 00:32:24,447 --> 00:32:26,324 You're wonderful company. 658 00:32:27,951 --> 00:32:31,183 - I don't think I've said that enough. - No. You have. 659 00:32:31,414 --> 00:32:35,851 You know, I've had other relationships like this. 660 00:32:36,294 --> 00:32:40,731 - You may have heard talk. - I rarely listen to anything anybody says. 661 00:32:41,382 --> 00:32:44,101 I didn't want you to think that I was hiding anything. 662 00:32:44,302 --> 00:32:47,022 - I want to be honest with you. - Thank you. 663 00:32:47,472 --> 00:32:50,703 There's something very unique about you, Paris... 664 00:32:51,602 --> 00:32:53,434 quite out of the ordinary. 665 00:32:53,604 --> 00:32:56,437 A lot of people have said I'm not ordinary. 666 00:33:00,819 --> 00:33:04,131 You know, I'm going to be very busy at Oxford. 667 00:33:05,408 --> 00:33:07,558 I've been writing down all the places... 668 00:33:07,744 --> 00:33:10,463 that I wanted to take you, things you should see... 669 00:33:10,663 --> 00:33:13,621 but I'm afraid there's not enough time. 670 00:33:13,833 --> 00:33:16,632 So I was thinking of going alone. 671 00:33:16,920 --> 00:33:20,312 I'd like you to go, but I don't want you to be bored. 672 00:33:20,841 --> 00:33:24,471 - You've been writing down places? - I'd forgotten how many there were. 673 00:33:26,889 --> 00:33:30,928 So if you want to reassess, I will completely understand. 674 00:33:31,393 --> 00:33:33,749 Do you want to reassess? 675 00:33:34,105 --> 00:33:36,415 No. I don't want to go alone... 676 00:33:36,942 --> 00:33:39,661 and I don't want to go with anyone else. 677 00:33:39,861 --> 00:33:41,659 But then I'm selfish. 678 00:33:42,322 --> 00:33:43,676 I get to be. 679 00:33:44,157 --> 00:33:46,353 After all, I'm old. 680 00:33:48,286 --> 00:33:49,880 You're not so old. 681 00:33:54,252 --> 00:33:56,402 Hi. I'm looking for Asher Fleming. 682 00:33:56,587 --> 00:33:59,227 He's getting dressed. He should be out in a minute. 683 00:33:59,423 --> 00:34:00,697 Thank you. 684 00:34:06,807 --> 00:34:09,640 He'll be all yours in a minute, girlfriend. 685 00:34:11,603 --> 00:34:13,674 - Miss Gilmore. - Hello, Professor. 686 00:34:13,856 --> 00:34:16,211 - You ready? - I'm going to go with Asher. 687 00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:18,676 We're going to do more planning for England. 688 00:34:18,861 --> 00:34:21,138 - But I thought... - Andrea, what brought you here? 689 00:34:21,322 --> 00:34:22,437 Mom called. 690 00:34:22,574 --> 00:34:24,929 Paris, Rory, this is my granddaughter, Andrea. 691 00:34:25,118 --> 00:34:26,313 - Hi. - Hi. 692 00:34:27,287 --> 00:34:30,484 Hey, there. It's really nice to meet you. 693 00:34:31,082 --> 00:34:34,200 I'm gonna be going home now, because there's no rest for the wicked. 694 00:34:34,419 --> 00:34:35,979 So I'll see you at home. 695 00:34:36,130 --> 00:34:39,486 I'll just see you in class there, Asher. Professor. 696 00:34:39,925 --> 00:34:42,075 It's really nice meeting you. Bye. 697 00:34:44,430 --> 00:34:47,980 I love mud, I love wrestling, I love girls. This is everything I love. 698 00:34:48,225 --> 00:34:49,977 In one neat package. 699 00:34:51,688 --> 00:34:55,079 - Here's our boy. You having a good time? - I'm having a gay old time. 700 00:34:55,317 --> 00:34:58,355 You read so much, I'm thinking of nicknaming you Reads. 701 00:34:58,570 --> 00:35:00,402 - Good one. - Tough guy, huh? 702 00:35:00,572 --> 00:35:03,405 Your mom has this thought she hasn't shared with you... 703 00:35:03,617 --> 00:35:05,528 because she's afraid you wouldn't be into it. 704 00:35:05,702 --> 00:35:08,013 She'd like you to walk her down the aisle. 705 00:35:08,206 --> 00:35:11,198 Usually it's the father that would do that, but he's worm food. 706 00:35:11,417 --> 00:35:13,931 - I knew that. - So, what do you say? 707 00:35:14,378 --> 00:35:16,494 - I don't think so. - She really wants you to. 708 00:35:16,672 --> 00:35:17,946 I really don't want to. 709 00:35:18,090 --> 00:35:19,603 - I'd like it, too. - You, too? 710 00:35:19,759 --> 00:35:21,113 - Yeah. - I don't think so. 711 00:35:21,260 --> 00:35:23,292 It's a short aisle. It'll be over in a flash. 712 00:35:23,304 --> 00:35:24,174 Get Luke to do it. 713 00:35:24,389 --> 00:35:25,902 She wants you to do it. 714 00:35:26,058 --> 00:35:30,017 - I guess we're at a stalemate. - I don't think we're at a stalemate. 715 00:35:30,270 --> 00:35:32,910 Those girls are wallowing around in slimy dirt... 716 00:35:33,106 --> 00:35:34,141 and you're looking at me? 717 00:35:34,274 --> 00:35:36,314 - I don't want to tell your mom no. - I'll tell her. 718 00:35:36,401 --> 00:35:40,077 - I don't want you telling her either. - Want to pitch in for a telegram? 719 00:35:42,325 --> 00:35:44,043 - Knock it off! - Stop! 720 00:35:46,538 --> 00:35:48,609 BOUNCER: That's it. This whole group out. 721 00:35:51,668 --> 00:35:53,580 T.J.: Best bachelor party ever! 722 00:35:56,423 --> 00:35:58,334 MICHEL: My God. I hate nature. 723 00:35:59,635 --> 00:36:00,705 Jackson! 724 00:36:00,845 --> 00:36:03,041 - What are you doing here? - What are you doing here? 725 00:36:03,222 --> 00:36:05,532 I'm sleeping with the zucchini. Didn't you tell her? 726 00:36:05,724 --> 00:36:07,920 She had a little trouble grasping that concept. 727 00:36:08,102 --> 00:36:10,014 I do not want you to sleep with the zucchini. 728 00:36:10,188 --> 00:36:12,145 - You said it was important. - They are. 729 00:36:12,315 --> 00:36:14,386 And to keep them safe, no matter what it takes. 730 00:36:14,568 --> 00:36:16,551 And there's a possibility of a cold front. 731 00:36:16,563 --> 00:36:17,924 That's why you have heaters. 732 00:36:18,154 --> 00:36:20,384 The heaters could fail, so I'm here to service them. 733 00:36:20,574 --> 00:36:22,451 Technically, you're sleeping with the heaters? 734 00:36:22,617 --> 00:36:24,017 I don't want you to do that either. 735 00:36:24,161 --> 00:36:26,232 - It's cold. - It's warm down here. 736 00:36:26,414 --> 00:36:28,543 Jackson, I love that you're doing this, but 737 00:36:28,555 --> 00:36:30,647 I also feel like I should call the guys... 738 00:36:30,918 --> 00:36:34,115 with butterfly nets to come get you and me and all of us. 739 00:36:35,047 --> 00:36:36,640 - I'm so sorry, guys. - For what? 740 00:36:36,799 --> 00:36:38,799 For freaking out about dumb things like zucchini... 741 00:36:38,843 --> 00:36:42,155 and not realizing that people would respond in very loving and nutty ways. 742 00:36:42,389 --> 00:36:43,663 This is not the way to do this. 743 00:36:43,807 --> 00:36:45,684 We're too stressed out. We're not having fun. 744 00:36:45,851 --> 00:36:48,604 This whole inn experience is flying by. 745 00:36:48,812 --> 00:36:50,689 - Tonight, it stops. - Sounds good to me. 746 00:36:50,856 --> 00:36:52,415 It is nice and warm here. 747 00:36:52,566 --> 00:36:54,796 We each have to drop something off our list. 748 00:36:54,985 --> 00:36:57,626 Something big. It's the others who get to pick for the person... 749 00:36:57,822 --> 00:37:00,052 and the person cannot refuse a reasonable request... 750 00:37:00,241 --> 00:37:01,601 - to drop something. - Like a game. 751 00:37:01,659 --> 00:37:03,889 - And we all win. - You're dropping the pillows. 752 00:37:04,078 --> 00:37:05,955 - Okay, the pillows are history. - Good. 753 00:37:06,122 --> 00:37:08,796 Okay, you are dropping two desserts off the menu. 754 00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:11,561 - A selection of six is all people need. - I'll second that. 755 00:37:11,754 --> 00:37:12,754 I can live with that. 756 00:37:12,880 --> 00:37:15,952 Michel, you won't ask for 10 references from each person we hire. 757 00:37:16,175 --> 00:37:18,735 They are all such imbeciles. How else will we know? 758 00:37:18,928 --> 00:37:20,328 - We're capping it at three. - Five. 759 00:37:20,429 --> 00:37:22,022 - Four. - I guess four's okay. 760 00:37:22,181 --> 00:37:25,697 - It really is comfortable here. - I'm actually relieved about the pillows. 761 00:37:25,935 --> 00:37:28,928 - You'll do them later. - Are you guys seeing these stars? 762 00:37:29,940 --> 00:37:33,456 - Beautiful. - I haven't looked at the stars in ages. 763 00:37:33,693 --> 00:37:36,572 That's another rule. We all have to look at the stars more often. 764 00:37:36,780 --> 00:37:37,780 Done. 765 00:37:37,906 --> 00:37:39,704 - I'm very comfortable. - Me, too. 766 00:37:59,263 --> 00:38:00,492 [Luke sighing deeply] 767 00:38:01,890 --> 00:38:05,167 Tonight I got into a fight at a strip club with my nephew. 768 00:38:05,394 --> 00:38:09,103 A fight. I haven't been in a fight since sixth grade. 769 00:38:09,356 --> 00:38:13,430 Vince Williams called me a doody-head. I took it very personally. 770 00:38:13,695 --> 00:38:17,654 But you know what? Tonight was good. Tonight something happened to me. 771 00:38:17,907 --> 00:38:20,421 I achieved this great sense of calm. 772 00:38:21,369 --> 00:38:23,838 No more anger, no more frustration. 773 00:38:24,038 --> 00:38:26,791 Live and let live. You are who you are. 774 00:38:27,166 --> 00:38:30,319 I cannot change that, and I'm gonna stop trying. 775 00:38:30,838 --> 00:38:32,749 I wish I'd felt this earlier. 776 00:38:32,923 --> 00:38:34,721 Then I wouldn't have dragged you down here. 777 00:38:34,884 --> 00:38:36,682 I apologize for that. 778 00:38:36,844 --> 00:38:40,314 But, I mean, if you really hate your mother that much... 779 00:38:41,056 --> 00:38:44,687 then you shouldn't be here, you shouldn't walk her down the aisle... 780 00:38:44,936 --> 00:38:46,449 and you shouldn't go to her wedding. 781 00:38:46,605 --> 00:38:49,119 - I don't hate my mother. - You don't? 782 00:38:49,441 --> 00:38:53,196 Then I don't get it. Why weren't you coming, because of me? 783 00:38:53,445 --> 00:38:55,322 You hate me that much? 784 00:38:56,740 --> 00:38:58,333 I don't hate you. 785 00:39:00,494 --> 00:39:03,134 - I came here because of you. - Stop that. 786 00:39:03,331 --> 00:39:06,767 - You said it was important to you. - I didn't think you were listening. 787 00:39:07,001 --> 00:39:10,232 So you don't hate your mom, you don't hate me, so... 788 00:39:10,713 --> 00:39:12,784 why weren't you coming? 789 00:39:13,883 --> 00:39:15,397 No. Rory? Still? 790 00:39:15,552 --> 00:39:17,941 That's ancient history. You haven't seen her in a year. 791 00:39:18,138 --> 00:39:20,254 I saw her when I was here a few months ago. 792 00:39:20,432 --> 00:39:23,311 - I didn't know that. What happened? - Nothing. 793 00:39:24,561 --> 00:39:26,154 I told her... 794 00:39:27,523 --> 00:39:28,638 What? 795 00:39:29,525 --> 00:39:31,324 I told her I loved her. 796 00:39:33,112 --> 00:39:34,625 - What did she say? - Nothing. 797 00:39:34,781 --> 00:39:38,137 - You said it and walked away? - I got in my car and left. 798 00:39:38,368 --> 00:39:39,887 - You dropped the bomb and ran? - I drove. 799 00:39:39,911 --> 00:39:41,639 You didn't stick around to see what she said? 800 00:39:41,663 --> 00:39:44,621 - No. Obviously, she had nothing to say. - How do you know? 801 00:39:44,832 --> 00:39:48,588 She could have contacted me anytime in the last three months, but she didn't. 802 00:39:48,837 --> 00:39:53,195 - You change your phone number weekly. - [Scoffing] The ball was in her court. 803 00:39:53,801 --> 00:39:57,157 Jess, come on. You did this completely wrong. 804 00:39:58,222 --> 00:40:01,374 Open, two-way communication is the foundation of love... 805 00:40:01,600 --> 00:40:03,478 and you cut that off. 806 00:40:03,645 --> 00:40:06,034 I had this friend, let's call him Phillip... 807 00:40:06,231 --> 00:40:09,781 who thought expressing intimacy was a favor to his partner... 808 00:40:10,026 --> 00:40:14,418 but expressions of intimacy should be given freely and frequently. 809 00:40:14,698 --> 00:40:17,578 He loved Judy, but he used his love as a bargaining tool. 810 00:40:17,785 --> 00:40:20,345 - Who the hell is Judy? - Phillip's wife. We call her Judy. 811 00:40:20,538 --> 00:40:22,017 - I wasn't bargaining. - You were. 812 00:40:22,164 --> 00:40:25,282 You had expectations out of line with what you deserved. You don't nurture. 813 00:40:25,501 --> 00:40:27,492 Where are you getting this junk? 814 00:40:27,670 --> 00:40:30,230 - Life. I've lived. - In a Bette Midler movie? 815 00:40:30,423 --> 00:40:32,061 I'm just trying to help you out. 816 00:40:32,216 --> 00:40:35,096 Please. You are the most dysfunctional person I know. 817 00:40:35,304 --> 00:40:38,137 - Not anymore. - Your marriage to Nicole, that was weird. 818 00:40:38,348 --> 00:40:40,100 - I'm better now. - Yeah, right. 819 00:40:43,395 --> 00:40:45,306 We're just a couple of losers. 820 00:40:45,480 --> 00:40:48,360 - Things change, my friend. - Yeah? 821 00:40:49,652 --> 00:40:50,972 Stay tuned. 822 00:40:57,744 --> 00:41:00,099 You really told her you loved her? 823 00:41:12,676 --> 00:41:15,236 - Where are we? - Michel, wake up. 824 00:41:15,429 --> 00:41:16,863 Hon, wake up. 825 00:41:17,014 --> 00:41:19,450 - What happened? - We slept with the zucchini. 826 00:41:19,643 --> 00:41:22,715 - We slept with the zucchini? - We slept with the zucchini. 827 00:41:22,938 --> 00:41:25,009 I slept good. I mean, really good. 828 00:41:25,190 --> 00:41:27,420 That's the best night's sleep I've had in weeks. 829 00:41:27,609 --> 00:41:31,648 - My back was hurting. It's perfect now. - It's like a magic zucchini patch. 830 00:41:31,905 --> 00:41:34,704 - How are the zucchini? - They can't wait to be soup. 831 00:41:42,291 --> 00:41:45,170 - Luke, hi. - Where are you coming from? 832 00:41:45,378 --> 00:41:47,494 You know, the zucchini patch. 833 00:41:48,047 --> 00:41:51,962 It's a long story. No, it's short. I slept in the zucchini patch. 834 00:41:54,805 --> 00:41:56,364 What are you doing here? 835 00:41:56,515 --> 00:41:58,347 - I wanted to talk to you. - Okay. 836 00:41:58,517 --> 00:42:00,155 I got that wedding coming up... 837 00:42:00,310 --> 00:42:03,382 and I know you're busy with your to-do list and all... 838 00:42:03,605 --> 00:42:05,357 but I think you could use a little break. 839 00:42:05,524 --> 00:42:07,198 I could use a little break. 840 00:42:07,360 --> 00:42:09,158 Take a break with me. Come to the wedding. 841 00:42:09,320 --> 00:42:11,654 It should be fun. There'll be turkey legs. 842 00:42:11,666 --> 00:42:12,039 Sure. 843 00:42:12,240 --> 00:42:13,560 - Yes? - Yes. 844 00:42:13,700 --> 00:42:15,213 Good. Yes, good. 845 00:42:17,036 --> 00:42:18,231 All right, then. 846 00:42:18,371 --> 00:42:21,329 I'll meet you at your house. We'll walk over together, okay? 847 00:42:21,542 --> 00:42:23,419 - Great. - I'll see you then. 848 00:42:23,586 --> 00:42:25,497 - Or before then. - Either way is good. 849 00:42:25,671 --> 00:42:26,790 Yeah, me, too. 850 00:42:26,802 --> 00:42:29,983 And you don't have to wear a fruity outfit. 851 00:42:30,509 --> 00:42:33,627 - I'm gonna be a little fruity. - That's good, too. 852 00:42:43,815 --> 00:42:45,852 [Sports commentator talking on TV] 853 00:42:51,907 --> 00:42:53,660 What is it with you? 854 00:43:02,585 --> 00:43:04,940 Here. I'm done with them. Enjoy.