1 00:00:00,427 --> 00:00:04,169 - Dinner was lovely, Emily. - Mira does make a perfect cassoulet. 2 00:00:04,500 --> 00:00:06,564 LORELAI: Who's Mira? EMILY: Our cook. 3 00:00:06,870 --> 00:00:10,566 - I thought the cook was Heidi. - No, we let Heidi go months ago. 4 00:00:10,985 --> 00:00:14,205 She had a problem closing things. The door, the refrigerator... 5 00:00:14,435 --> 00:00:16,068 The liquor bottle. 6 00:00:16,347 --> 00:00:19,691 - Then it was Trina, then Sophia. - I liked Sophia. 7 00:00:20,130 --> 00:00:22,000 - You did not. - I didn't? 8 00:00:22,166 --> 00:00:25,590 - She was the one who sang. - That's right. Terrible woman. 9 00:00:26,780 --> 00:00:28,969 EMILY: And after Sophia, we had Anton. 10 00:00:29,149 --> 00:00:31,939 That's right. Anton was the one that I liked. 11 00:00:32,142 --> 00:00:35,884 I'm sorry. Dad, how do you mix up Anton and Sophia? 12 00:00:36,756 --> 00:00:39,624 - What do you mean? - One is a man and one is a woman. 13 00:00:39,831 --> 00:00:43,493 - And your point being... - That one is a man and one is a woman. 14 00:00:43,738 --> 00:00:46,007 I have a lot to do in a day, Lorelai. 15 00:00:46,191 --> 00:00:47,506 I don't have time to keep up... 16 00:00:47,646 --> 00:00:50,753 with the multitudes of people that your mother employs. 17 00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:54,516 But one is a man and one is a woman. 18 00:00:58,329 --> 00:01:01,310 - The dinner was so wonderful, Mira. - It's Sarah. 19 00:01:02,153 --> 00:01:03,422 I'm sorry. 20 00:01:05,353 --> 00:01:07,178 Mom, her name is Sarah. 21 00:01:07,930 --> 00:01:09,834 I thought she said Mira. 22 00:01:11,547 --> 00:01:14,370 Grandma, these plates are really pretty. 23 00:01:14,581 --> 00:01:17,563 Thank you, Rory. They were your great-grandmother's. 24 00:01:17,781 --> 00:01:20,729 - Lorelai I. - I thought mom was the first. 25 00:01:21,190 --> 00:01:22,301 Not in the name. 26 00:01:22,437 --> 00:01:26,055 No, but in so many other things, I was a regular trailblazer. 27 00:01:26,386 --> 00:01:27,815 Just finishing your thought, Mom. 28 00:01:27,966 --> 00:01:29,870 Lorelai I was my mother. 29 00:01:30,044 --> 00:01:32,028 She was an extremely accomplished equestrian... 30 00:01:32,205 --> 00:01:33,917 a distinguished patron of the arts... 31 00:01:34,076 --> 00:01:37,137 and she was also world-famous for her masquerade balls. 32 00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:38,947 She was quite a woman, my mother. 33 00:01:39,106 --> 00:01:41,408 Yes, she was. Mira, come cut the cake, please. 34 00:01:41,599 --> 00:01:44,785 Yes, and why don't you bring Sarah out here with you? 35 00:02:43,616 --> 00:02:47,437 So, Lorelai, how are things at that charming little inn of yours? 36 00:02:48,188 --> 00:02:49,821 They're still charming and little. 37 00:02:50,308 --> 00:02:53,574 We're crossing our fingers it doesn't assert itself and become rude and large. 38 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:55,830 Mom's having a huge wedding there this week. 39 00:02:56,003 --> 00:02:57,227 - Really? - Yeah. 40 00:02:57,375 --> 00:02:59,722 Actually, there's people coming from all over the country. 41 00:02:59,910 --> 00:03:01,418 - Isn't that nice? - Yeah. 42 00:03:01,573 --> 00:03:04,204 - Rory, how's Chilton? - Okay, done with me now. 43 00:03:04,399 --> 00:03:06,349 I'm sorry, was there more to the story? 44 00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:10,101 - Rory has to pick a team sport to play. - It's a requirement. 45 00:03:10,758 --> 00:03:13,423 "Physical fitness is as important as intellectual fitness." 46 00:03:13,626 --> 00:03:17,402 - So says Plato, and so say I. - What sport are you going to pick? 47 00:03:17,907 --> 00:03:20,538 I'm not sure. I'm not really the athletic type. 48 00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:23,036 I told her she should go out for the debating team. 49 00:03:23,228 --> 00:03:26,528 - That's not a sport. - It is, the way the Gilmores play. 50 00:03:26,845 --> 00:03:30,303 - So, what are your choices? - God, there are a thousand of them. 51 00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:34,320 Basketball, lacrosse, swimming, track, golf. 52 00:03:34,576 --> 00:03:36,084 - Golf? - Yeah. 53 00:03:36,488 --> 00:03:38,552 Your grandfather is a golf player. 54 00:03:38,940 --> 00:03:42,558 He plays every week at the club. He could teach you to play like a pro. 55 00:03:42,806 --> 00:03:45,267 He could take you there on Sunday. It's perfect. 56 00:03:45,466 --> 00:03:47,575 It's not something you can teach in an afternoon. 57 00:03:47,752 --> 00:03:50,054 That's okay. Rory can pick something else. 58 00:03:50,247 --> 00:03:51,676 Why should she pick something else? 59 00:03:51,825 --> 00:03:54,933 She needs to learn a sport, and Richard can teach her a sport. 60 00:03:55,151 --> 00:03:56,943 You can use your mother's old golf clubs. 61 00:03:57,104 --> 00:03:59,824 They're upstairs gathering dust along with the rest of her potential. 62 00:04:00,014 --> 00:04:02,441 Okay. Mom, could I maybe talk to you for a minute? 63 00:04:02,634 --> 00:04:03,630 We're having dessert. 64 00:04:03,642 --> 00:04:05,615 I know, but I'd like to talk to you fast... 65 00:04:05,834 --> 00:04:07,659 before the sugar sets in and makes me crazy. 66 00:04:07,829 --> 00:04:10,573 EMILY: You are the oddest person. LORELAI: [Whispers] Too easy. 67 00:04:11,653 --> 00:04:13,717 What is so important that can't wait for cake? 68 00:04:13,898 --> 00:04:15,214 Keep moving. 69 00:04:17,140 --> 00:04:20,520 This is as far as I can go, unless I bore my way through the wall. 70 00:04:20,757 --> 00:04:22,389 - Don't do this, Mom. - Do what? 71 00:04:22,544 --> 00:04:25,525 - Force Rory and Dad to go golfing. - I'm not forcing anybody. 72 00:04:25,744 --> 00:04:28,771 You're manipulating the situation in a way that gives no one a way out. 73 00:04:28,986 --> 00:04:30,211 That's force. Look it up. 74 00:04:30,357 --> 00:04:32,466 I'm trying to help your daughter get an education. 75 00:04:32,643 --> 00:04:34,945 - Thank you, she'll find another sport. - Why should she? 76 00:04:35,138 --> 00:04:37,218 She doesn't wanna go, and Dad doesn't wanna take her. 77 00:04:37,382 --> 00:04:41,124 He doesn't know what he wants. He'd cut his hair at the butcher's, if I let him. 78 00:04:41,373 --> 00:04:43,277 Just let it go, please. 79 00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:45,559 Well, isn't this interesting? 80 00:04:46,319 --> 00:04:48,700 - You're afraid. - Of what? 81 00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:52,423 That Rory will enjoy the club and have a good time without you. 82 00:04:52,637 --> 00:04:54,588 - That's crazy. - I agree. 83 00:04:54,757 --> 00:04:56,900 - I'm not afraid. - Then let her go. 84 00:04:57,085 --> 00:05:00,623 - She won't enjoy it, Mom. - Why don't we just let Rory decide? 85 00:05:00,867 --> 00:05:02,931 Because she's the sweetest kid in the whole world. 86 00:05:03,111 --> 00:05:06,491 She won't say she doesn't wanna go, she's too afraid to hurt your feelings. 87 00:05:06,728 --> 00:05:09,710 I'm sure you could give her some coaching to get her over that. 88 00:05:09,929 --> 00:05:13,512 I'm not trying to hurt your feelings. Believe it or not, this is not about you. 89 00:05:13,753 --> 00:05:15,307 Of course it's about me. 90 00:05:15,457 --> 00:05:18,837 If Rory goes and has a good time without you, then I win. 91 00:05:19,073 --> 00:05:23,178 Okay, Bob Barker. Rory knocks herself out all week at Chilton. 92 00:05:23,438 --> 00:05:26,500 The weekends are the only time she has to unwind and have fun. 93 00:05:26,722 --> 00:05:28,434 - With you. - I'm there. 94 00:05:28,758 --> 00:05:30,708 So let me get this straight. 95 00:05:30,879 --> 00:05:33,181 There's no way that Rory could possibly enjoy... 96 00:05:33,372 --> 00:05:34,801 a weekend day with her grandfather. 97 00:05:34,952 --> 00:05:36,912 You're just gonna twist it all around, aren't you? 98 00:05:36,947 --> 00:05:40,370 You know your daughter so well that you don't even have to ask her opinion. 99 00:05:40,604 --> 00:05:42,554 She'd be miserable, and you'd know it. 100 00:05:42,723 --> 00:05:45,944 I'm so setting myself up here. But, yes, she would be miserable. 101 00:05:46,174 --> 00:05:49,712 - That sounds a little controlling to me. - I walked right into that. 102 00:05:49,957 --> 00:05:52,667 Interesting, isn't it, you being the one who's controlling? 103 00:05:52,866 --> 00:05:54,466 - I am not being... - According to you... 104 00:05:54,529 --> 00:05:56,956 I was the only one in the family with that particular gift. 105 00:05:57,147 --> 00:05:58,372 I never said that! 106 00:05:58,520 --> 00:06:01,978 I guess you and I are more alike than you thought, aren't we? 107 00:06:03,673 --> 00:06:04,864 You win. 108 00:06:06,250 --> 00:06:07,566 Thank you. 109 00:06:13,068 --> 00:06:14,100 [Lorelai sighing] 110 00:06:14,231 --> 00:06:17,417 - Did you get blind-sided? I'm so sorry. - That's okay. 111 00:06:17,640 --> 00:06:19,908 - I tried to stop it, I swear. - I know. 112 00:06:20,092 --> 00:06:21,963 - Maybe it won't be that bad. - Maybe it won't. 113 00:06:22,129 --> 00:06:23,875 - Maybe I'll like it. - Maybe you will. 114 00:06:24,042 --> 00:06:26,707 - Maybe you could come with me. - Is there a You're Crazy team? 115 00:06:26,909 --> 00:06:28,621 - 'Cause they'd make you captain. - Please. 116 00:06:28,780 --> 00:06:31,331 I love you. I would take a bullet for you. 117 00:06:31,523 --> 00:06:34,267 But I'd rather stick something sharp in my ear than go to the club. 118 00:06:34,474 --> 00:06:35,541 Fine. 119 00:06:35,680 --> 00:06:37,902 I'd rather slide down a banister of razorblades... 120 00:06:38,091 --> 00:06:40,676 and land in a pool of alcohol than go to the club with you. 121 00:06:40,875 --> 00:06:42,587 - I got it. - Don't stop me, I'm on a roll. 122 00:06:42,746 --> 00:06:45,569 I'd rather eat my own hand than go to the club with you. 123 00:06:45,781 --> 00:06:47,854 I'd rather surgically alter my face to look 124 00:06:47,866 --> 00:06:49,999 like the mad rich lady with the lion head... 125 00:06:50,270 --> 00:06:51,430 than go to the club with you. 126 00:06:51,559 --> 00:06:54,224 Would you like me to drive so you can continue your diatribe? 127 00:06:54,426 --> 00:06:57,963 Would you? Thanks. I'd rather cut off my head and use it as a punch bowl... 128 00:06:58,208 --> 00:06:59,637 than go to the club with you. 129 00:07:06,687 --> 00:07:09,148 You'll walk down here, over the bridge... 130 00:07:09,348 --> 00:07:11,729 with the swans floating by and the music playing. 131 00:07:11,926 --> 00:07:13,830 What are they doing with those purple flowers? 132 00:07:14,003 --> 00:07:15,194 Just decorating the bridge. 133 00:07:15,334 --> 00:07:17,636 I didn't want purple flowers. I wanted pink. 134 00:07:17,827 --> 00:07:19,143 And I wanted blue. 135 00:07:19,282 --> 00:07:21,313 So I thought violet would be a nice compromise. 136 00:07:21,486 --> 00:07:24,309 - But we paid for pink flowers. - And the blue flowers. 137 00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:28,024 You did not pay for anything. I told her to decorate with violet flowers. 138 00:07:28,261 --> 00:07:31,481 It's nice of her to try to take the heat for me, but it's unnecessary. 139 00:07:31,711 --> 00:07:34,852 If you don't like it, buy your own flowers. 140 00:07:38,943 --> 00:07:40,576 Yes. I thought so. 141 00:07:41,147 --> 00:07:44,095 Now, go away. My Advil is wearing off. 142 00:07:49,419 --> 00:07:52,446 - Their father spoiled them. - They're just excited. 143 00:07:52,661 --> 00:07:54,169 They're spoiled. 144 00:07:55,113 --> 00:07:57,064 And they won't move away. 145 00:07:59,851 --> 00:08:03,151 - Now, disaster list. What if it rains? - We'll put up tents. 146 00:08:03,385 --> 00:08:05,574 - What if it's too windy? - We'll secure everything... 147 00:08:05,754 --> 00:08:07,500 and put extra hairspray in everybody's hair. 148 00:08:07,667 --> 00:08:08,698 Too hot? 149 00:08:08,830 --> 00:08:10,894 Umbrellas and fans that won't cause any damage... 150 00:08:11,075 --> 00:08:14,453 because of the things that have been secured and hair that's been sprayed. 151 00:08:14,690 --> 00:08:16,720 - So I have nothing to worry about? - No. 152 00:08:16,893 --> 00:08:20,238 - There must be something. - Listen, I have everything under control. 153 00:08:20,468 --> 00:08:22,498 Go to your room and have a fabulous bubble bath. 154 00:08:22,670 --> 00:08:23,986 I'll send up some wine... 155 00:08:24,125 --> 00:08:28,185 and a masseuse who bears a remarkable resemblance to Antonio Banderas. 156 00:08:28,656 --> 00:08:31,479 - How remarkable? - Get ready to applaud. 157 00:08:32,273 --> 00:08:35,096 This is my favorite place in the whole world. 158 00:08:49,689 --> 00:08:53,352 Could you send Morey up to Room 12 in about 20 minutes? Thanks. 159 00:08:53,638 --> 00:08:56,586 - So, any problems? - With the wedding or my life? 160 00:08:56,797 --> 00:08:59,462 One guess. And I'll give you a hint: It's not your life. 161 00:08:59,665 --> 00:09:02,330 - Do you stage these events to torture me? - Yes. 162 00:09:02,534 --> 00:09:05,913 - Job well done. - Okay, let's start again. Any problems? 163 00:09:07,189 --> 00:09:09,774 Guests are checked in, baskets are given out... 164 00:09:09,973 --> 00:09:13,919 and 200,000 tons of Jordan almonds have been delivered. 165 00:09:14,172 --> 00:09:16,360 - Okay, good. Did Rory call? - No. 166 00:09:17,289 --> 00:09:20,475 She's golfing all day with my father, and I'm half-expecting... 167 00:09:20,698 --> 00:09:24,519 this big, "Save me!" call to come in. You don't care at all, do you? 168 00:09:24,772 --> 00:09:27,957 To me you are the teacher in the Charlie Brown cartoon. 169 00:09:28,511 --> 00:09:30,337 Forget it. Have the grooms arrived? 170 00:09:30,506 --> 00:09:32,866 Their plane was due at 7:30. I'm surprised they're not here. 171 00:09:32,917 --> 00:09:36,784 - Maybe they made a run for it. - Somebody got stood up at prom. 172 00:09:39,900 --> 00:09:42,361 - Oh, dear. - What? 173 00:09:47,174 --> 00:09:48,206 Wow. 174 00:09:48,339 --> 00:09:51,162 - Are those... - No, it would be too... 175 00:09:51,373 --> 00:09:52,689 Schmoopies! 176 00:09:54,740 --> 00:09:55,931 Weird. 177 00:09:56,070 --> 00:09:58,179 You kept this from me on purpose. 178 00:09:58,356 --> 00:10:01,100 It's like a really snooty Doublemint commercial. 179 00:10:01,307 --> 00:10:04,449 Just let me know when the midgets and clowns arrive. 180 00:10:04,716 --> 00:10:06,224 No. 181 00:10:07,959 --> 00:10:10,023 You have to get them all settled in. 182 00:10:10,203 --> 00:10:11,915 - I'm not talking to them. - Yes, you are. 183 00:10:12,074 --> 00:10:14,262 I'm not talking to them nicely. 184 00:10:15,689 --> 00:10:17,719 It's after 8:00. She should be here already. 185 00:10:17,893 --> 00:10:18,959 She'll be here. 186 00:10:19,098 --> 00:10:21,366 You're supposed to tee off at your designated time. 187 00:10:21,550 --> 00:10:24,895 You pay good money to that place. You'll tee off when you tee off. 188 00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:27,472 - Is that what you're wearing? - Yes. 189 00:10:27,661 --> 00:10:28,661 [Emily sighs] 190 00:10:28,783 --> 00:10:31,368 - What's wrong with what I'm wearing? - Nothing. It's fine. 191 00:10:32,067 --> 00:10:34,890 - This whole thing is absurd. - She's your granddaughter. 192 00:10:35,101 --> 00:10:37,607 She's a 16-year-old who would rather be at the mall. 193 00:10:37,803 --> 00:10:40,434 Show her all around the club, especially the rose garden. 194 00:10:40,629 --> 00:10:42,930 - I am not a guide. - Make sure you take her to lunch... 195 00:10:43,123 --> 00:10:46,264 - and have her get dessert. - No one said anything about lunch. 196 00:10:46,489 --> 00:10:48,474 I hope Lorelai's clubs are still in good shape. 197 00:10:48,651 --> 00:10:50,522 Emily, you are not listening to me. 198 00:10:50,688 --> 00:10:53,636 I will teach her to golf, as promised by you... 199 00:10:53,847 --> 00:10:55,559 but lunch is out of the question. 200 00:10:55,717 --> 00:10:59,413 You have to eat, so you'll eat together. Do you have sunscreen? 201 00:10:59,666 --> 00:11:00,666 [Doorbell rings] 202 00:11:00,955 --> 00:11:02,543 - She's here. - 8:30. 203 00:11:02,701 --> 00:11:05,128 We must remember to buy her a watch. 204 00:11:05,486 --> 00:11:08,195 Richard, so help me God, you will be sweet to this girl... 205 00:11:08,396 --> 00:11:10,188 and make this a memorable day for her. 206 00:11:10,349 --> 00:11:13,411 It's the first time we've gotten to show our granddaughter off at the club. 207 00:11:13,633 --> 00:11:17,251 And it means a great deal to my happiness and yours... 208 00:11:17,499 --> 00:11:19,291 that this day go well. 209 00:11:19,618 --> 00:11:21,048 Are we clear? 210 00:11:24,191 --> 00:11:26,742 - Rory, hello! - Sorry I'm late. 211 00:11:26,934 --> 00:11:28,804 Nonsense, you're right on time. 212 00:11:28,971 --> 00:11:30,365 - Hi, Grandpa. - Nice to see you. 213 00:11:30,508 --> 00:11:32,866 This is a perfect day for golfing, isn't it? 214 00:11:32,878 --> 00:11:34,012 It's cooler at 8:00. 215 00:11:34,250 --> 00:11:35,361 Am I dressed okay? 216 00:11:35,496 --> 00:11:37,923 I didn't have any of those short pant things. 217 00:11:38,282 --> 00:11:41,944 Actually, there is something missing. Wait a minute. 218 00:11:46,596 --> 00:11:47,911 Here we go. 219 00:11:48,507 --> 00:11:51,251 - Now you look just like Tiger Woods. - That's some hat. 220 00:11:51,458 --> 00:11:53,362 Okay, off you go, you two. 221 00:11:53,579 --> 00:11:55,847 - Have a wonderful time. - We will. 222 00:11:56,239 --> 00:11:57,430 You bet. 223 00:12:13,239 --> 00:12:15,620 Is it hard to become a member here? 224 00:12:15,816 --> 00:12:19,116 Everyone has to go through a thorough screening process. 225 00:12:19,349 --> 00:12:22,297 - Kind of like the FBI? - We're much more thorough than that. 226 00:12:22,508 --> 00:12:23,778 - Wow. - Yes. 227 00:12:26,124 --> 00:12:28,471 Do you know the merger of Forscape and DSS... 228 00:12:28,659 --> 00:12:31,120 - happened right here on this lawn? - Really? 229 00:12:31,652 --> 00:12:33,636 International finance will never be the same... 230 00:12:33,814 --> 00:12:36,195 and all because of a lost golfing bet. 231 00:12:36,475 --> 00:12:38,855 - That's crazy. - That's high finance. 232 00:12:41,005 --> 00:12:42,399 Here we are. 233 00:12:43,998 --> 00:12:45,109 Now... 234 00:12:46,325 --> 00:12:48,355 what do you know about golf? 235 00:12:49,817 --> 00:12:51,960 That it's a good walk spoiled. 236 00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:59,621 Your driver is the most powerful club in your bag... 237 00:13:00,291 --> 00:13:04,158 and as such, it can be your most valuable asset... 238 00:13:04,407 --> 00:13:06,437 or your greatest liability. 239 00:13:06,694 --> 00:13:10,073 To wield it properly requires a precise combination... 240 00:13:10,642 --> 00:13:12,626 of confidence and humility. 241 00:13:13,177 --> 00:13:16,080 - Confidence and humility. Got it. - There you are. 242 00:13:16,669 --> 00:13:18,699 That's a pretty good natural grip. 243 00:13:18,871 --> 00:13:22,057 Now line the toe of your left foot up with the ball. 244 00:13:22,986 --> 00:13:25,413 That's right. Drop this shoulder a little bit. 245 00:13:25,605 --> 00:13:28,871 Now, keeping your left arm firm, draw the club back... 246 00:13:29,387 --> 00:13:31,893 and swing it cleanly through the ball. 247 00:13:35,457 --> 00:13:37,203 I'm betting that was wrong. 248 00:13:37,368 --> 00:13:40,316 There are no rights and wrongs to the learning process. 249 00:13:46,513 --> 00:13:47,987 Try that again. 250 00:13:55,367 --> 00:13:57,397 I'm betting that was wrong. 251 00:14:01,394 --> 00:14:03,424 These are blueberries. I ordered strawberries. 252 00:14:03,597 --> 00:14:06,386 - I know... - I did. I wrote it down, I got a copy. 253 00:14:06,589 --> 00:14:08,970 - Sookie, listen. - Yeah. "Mushrooms, melon..." 254 00:14:09,167 --> 00:14:12,749 - "Endive, peaches, kiwi." - Excuse me, crazy lady. 255 00:14:12,991 --> 00:14:14,737 I should make some kiwi ice cream. 256 00:14:14,903 --> 00:14:16,253 - Sookie! Listen. - What? 257 00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:19,303 I know you ordered strawberries, but they weren't any good. 258 00:14:19,517 --> 00:14:21,626 Instead of selling you substandard strawberries... 259 00:14:21,804 --> 00:14:23,708 I brought you blueberries. 260 00:14:23,882 --> 00:14:26,024 I gotta make strawberry shortcake for 200 people... 261 00:14:26,210 --> 00:14:27,842 so I think I'll need strawberries. 262 00:14:27,997 --> 00:14:29,866 - Use the blueberries. - To make what? 263 00:14:30,033 --> 00:14:32,618 - Blueberry shortcake. - There's no such thing. 264 00:14:32,817 --> 00:14:35,006 The world was flat until someone took a boat trip. 265 00:14:35,187 --> 00:14:37,534 - Can I see these strawberries? - No. 266 00:14:37,847 --> 00:14:39,072 - Just one? - No. 267 00:14:39,218 --> 00:14:40,886 How about a Polaroid? 268 00:14:41,422 --> 00:14:43,564 Coffee. 269 00:14:44,124 --> 00:14:46,675 Sookie, can I take some of this cake home to Rory? 270 00:14:46,867 --> 00:14:49,373 She's gonna need a special treat tonight. 271 00:14:49,569 --> 00:14:52,676 She's spending the entire day with my father, golfing at the club. 272 00:14:52,894 --> 00:14:54,005 No. 273 00:14:54,141 --> 00:14:56,046 - Take the blueberries! - No! 274 00:14:56,719 --> 00:14:58,959 The whole thing was masterminded by my mother, of course. 275 00:14:59,088 --> 00:15:01,514 One minute we're having an excruciating family dinner... 276 00:15:01,707 --> 00:15:04,768 and the next minute she's manipulated my kid into spending her Sunday... 277 00:15:04,990 --> 00:15:06,816 with my father at the country club. 278 00:15:06,986 --> 00:15:09,968 I can't talk about it anymore. It's making me too upset. 279 00:15:10,228 --> 00:15:14,049 - Tell me something happy. - I can't make the strawberry shortcake. 280 00:15:15,216 --> 00:15:16,962 You suck at this game. 281 00:15:17,377 --> 00:15:20,563 The battle for soup versus salad is raging in the other room. 282 00:15:20,786 --> 00:15:22,215 Come quick and settle it, please. 283 00:15:22,365 --> 00:15:26,141 I'm running out of French curse words that they won't understand. 284 00:15:32,175 --> 00:15:34,205 - Soup it's gonna be. - You always have a salad... 285 00:15:34,377 --> 00:15:36,838 - before a traditional meal. - Why are you making a scene? 286 00:15:37,038 --> 00:15:38,626 - It's my party. - Just 'cause... 287 00:15:38,784 --> 00:15:41,415 It's been 45 minutes of "soup or salad." 288 00:15:41,611 --> 00:15:43,278 I can't do it anymore. Get me a cab. 289 00:15:43,439 --> 00:15:45,819 I'm going to go far away now, and never come back. 290 00:15:46,016 --> 00:15:49,282 How about if the guests get a choice of soup or salad? 291 00:15:51,253 --> 00:15:52,761 That will work. 292 00:15:55,285 --> 00:15:57,269 - Choice of soup or salad. - Got it. 293 00:15:58,776 --> 00:16:00,999 LORELAI: It's so weird. SOOKIE: Which one is which? 294 00:16:01,187 --> 00:16:02,854 I think the one on the right is Matt. 295 00:16:03,017 --> 00:16:06,124 No, that's the one on the left. The one on the right is Mark. 296 00:16:06,341 --> 00:16:09,369 - That's very impressive. - I'm very good at observing people... 297 00:16:09,583 --> 00:16:13,688 learning their tics and traits, the sound of their voices. It's a gift. 298 00:16:14,073 --> 00:16:16,658 - That one has a Post-it on its back. - Then that's Mark. 299 00:16:16,858 --> 00:16:18,332 The one on the right is Matt. 300 00:16:18,479 --> 00:16:20,368 - You will go and take that off of him. - I will not. 301 00:16:20,392 --> 00:16:22,943 We can't all call everyone "sweetie" and get away with it. 302 00:16:23,134 --> 00:16:26,638 Go with me here, but let's say Mark walks into a hotel room... 303 00:16:26,875 --> 00:16:29,144 and he sees his wife naked, but it's not his wife... 304 00:16:29,328 --> 00:16:32,118 it's his naked sister-in-law, and he has sex with her. 305 00:16:32,321 --> 00:16:34,464 - Would that be cheating? - My head hurts. 306 00:16:34,649 --> 00:16:37,359 - I think no. - Really? Lucky. 307 00:16:37,558 --> 00:16:40,381 If you ask me, this union belongs on a public access station. 308 00:16:40,593 --> 00:16:44,460 It's against the laws of nature, and just this short of completely obscene. 309 00:16:44,708 --> 00:16:46,976 You won't be giving the wedding toast. 310 00:16:48,365 --> 00:16:51,234 - How did everything work out? - Do you have children? 311 00:16:51,442 --> 00:16:53,789 - A daughter. - Do you hate her? 312 00:16:54,185 --> 00:16:55,615 - No. - Not ever? 313 00:16:56,762 --> 00:16:59,471 I wasn't wildly fond of her during labor. 314 00:16:59,963 --> 00:17:02,150 That was the high point for me. 315 00:17:06,405 --> 00:17:09,125 RORY: I can't believe I hit the ball. RICHARD: It's quite impressive. 316 00:17:09,314 --> 00:17:10,663 RORY: It landed in the water. 317 00:17:10,811 --> 00:17:13,192 RICHARD: Yes, but the splash was quite impressive. 318 00:17:13,388 --> 00:17:15,372 This place is so beautiful. 319 00:17:15,715 --> 00:17:17,937 I could see just coming here to think or read... 320 00:17:18,127 --> 00:17:21,109 but that probably defeats the purpose of the holes with the flags in them. 321 00:17:21,327 --> 00:17:24,468 There is something rather serene about walking around here. 322 00:17:24,693 --> 00:17:27,358 - Do you come here every week? - No. When I can. 323 00:17:27,562 --> 00:17:29,704 I'm often working on the weekends. 324 00:17:29,890 --> 00:17:31,557 - Bummer. - Isn't it? 325 00:17:35,460 --> 00:17:36,651 MAN: Hi, Richard. 326 00:17:38,162 --> 00:17:40,622 - Can I ask you a question? - Go ahead. 327 00:17:40,988 --> 00:17:43,653 - What do you do? - I'm the Executive Vice President... 328 00:17:43,856 --> 00:17:45,920 of the Gehrman-Driscoll Insurance Corporation. 329 00:17:46,100 --> 00:17:47,574 - Wow. - Yes. 330 00:17:48,720 --> 00:17:51,701 And as Executive Vice President, what do you do? 331 00:17:52,502 --> 00:17:56,084 It's a very big company, one of the largest in the United States. 332 00:17:56,327 --> 00:17:57,914 I have a myriad of duties... 333 00:17:58,072 --> 00:18:00,737 which would bore you greatly to hear about. 334 00:18:01,646 --> 00:18:02,713 Okay. 335 00:18:05,721 --> 00:18:09,542 - I oversee our international division. - That sounds important. 336 00:18:09,794 --> 00:18:11,664 It rates a parking spot. 337 00:18:12,122 --> 00:18:14,832 - Do you get to travel a lot? - Quite a bit. 338 00:18:15,115 --> 00:18:16,225 Lucky. 339 00:18:17,192 --> 00:18:20,412 - I suspect you have a yen for travel. - I'm up to my ears in yens. 340 00:18:20,642 --> 00:18:23,783 - Any particular place you'd like to go? - Hundreds of places: 341 00:18:24,008 --> 00:18:27,228 Paris, Rome, London, Prague, Istanbul, Fez. 342 00:18:27,667 --> 00:18:30,172 - Have you ever been to Fez? - I can't say that I have. 343 00:18:30,369 --> 00:18:32,036 I wanna go to Fez. 344 00:18:32,571 --> 00:18:35,712 I think traveling, for a young girl, is a very important thing. 345 00:18:35,939 --> 00:18:38,047 Your mother never got a chance to travel much. 346 00:18:38,225 --> 00:18:40,826 I know. She talks about that all the time. 347 00:18:40,838 --> 00:18:41,491 She does? 348 00:18:41,841 --> 00:18:44,301 We've got a deal. When I graduate from high school... 349 00:18:44,501 --> 00:18:47,245 we're gonna go backpacking through Europe together. 350 00:18:47,452 --> 00:18:49,595 You know, do the whole hostel thing. 351 00:18:49,821 --> 00:18:51,604 I just hope it really happens. 352 00:18:51,616 --> 00:18:54,085 We'll just have to make sure that it does. 353 00:18:55,475 --> 00:18:56,904 Richard! 354 00:18:57,511 --> 00:18:58,736 Gloria! 355 00:18:59,257 --> 00:19:02,557 - You look wonderful. - Aren't you sweet? Is Emily here? 356 00:19:02,790 --> 00:19:05,659 No, I'm taking my granddaughter for a round of golf. 357 00:19:05,867 --> 00:19:08,576 - We must get together. - Absolutely. 358 00:19:15,052 --> 00:19:17,082 The most odious woman alive. 359 00:19:28,645 --> 00:19:31,389 - We'll meet back here in 40 minutes? - Okay. 360 00:19:32,011 --> 00:19:34,391 And then, if you like, we can get some lunch. 361 00:19:34,588 --> 00:19:36,697 - That would be great. - Fine. 362 00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:38,866 - Cool. - Yes. 363 00:19:47,058 --> 00:19:49,439 And I'm telling him, "I've been coming here..." 364 00:19:49,636 --> 00:19:52,901 "For 20 years, my young friend, and for 20 years, that cart..." 365 00:19:53,127 --> 00:19:55,870 "Number 43, has been my golf cart." 366 00:19:56,078 --> 00:19:58,901 - He should have known that. - Everybody knows it. 367 00:19:59,112 --> 00:20:01,936 - Did he give you the cart? - Damn right he gave me the cart. 368 00:20:02,147 --> 00:20:05,571 You should have never had to ask, because he should have known that. 369 00:20:06,428 --> 00:20:08,651 - Hello, gentlemen. - Richard, good to see you. 370 00:20:08,839 --> 00:20:12,422 - I heard about your golf cart. Too bad. - I'm still angry about it. 371 00:20:13,245 --> 00:20:16,431 Who was that young lady I saw you on the golf course with? 372 00:20:16,653 --> 00:20:19,919 - That is my granddaughter. - Really? She's lovely. 373 00:20:20,270 --> 00:20:21,699 Lorelai's girl. 374 00:20:22,431 --> 00:20:26,331 You're lucky. My granddaughter looks like she just fell off a potato truck. 375 00:20:27,253 --> 00:20:29,963 My granddaughter would never be caught here. 376 00:20:30,162 --> 00:20:33,032 It might get in the way of her time spent at the tattoo parlor... 377 00:20:33,239 --> 00:20:36,028 or getting something pierced, or doing whatever she does... 378 00:20:36,232 --> 00:20:39,576 while she runs wild through the streets like a rabid dog. 379 00:20:39,807 --> 00:20:43,503 - Cut her off. That'll get her attention. - I can help you with the litigation. 380 00:20:43,755 --> 00:20:45,944 Actually, Rory just started Chilton. 381 00:20:46,124 --> 00:20:47,949 - Really? - Damn fine school. 382 00:20:48,368 --> 00:20:51,906 She said she wanted to learn golf. I think she's taken to it quite well. 383 00:20:52,150 --> 00:20:55,495 Yeah, just as long as she's not taken with a certain golf cart. 384 00:20:55,933 --> 00:20:58,836 MAN 3: I'm writing a letter to the board. MAN 1: I wish you would. 385 00:20:59,758 --> 00:21:00,982 MAN 1: Listen to me. 386 00:21:02,044 --> 00:21:03,870 WOMAN 1: She took the house in Amagansett. 387 00:21:04,039 --> 00:21:06,624 She deserved it, putting up with that tramp all those years. 388 00:21:06,823 --> 00:21:09,931 Last year, Christmas, he bought them both the same bracelet. 389 00:21:10,149 --> 00:21:12,372 She should have shot him like his first wife did. 390 00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:14,669 I love Janie. Is she out yet? 391 00:21:15,304 --> 00:21:16,811 Nanette, Peg. 392 00:21:16,966 --> 00:21:18,916 Gloria, hi. Good game? 393 00:21:19,086 --> 00:21:21,751 - Not bad. You? - I just came for the steam. 394 00:21:22,037 --> 00:21:24,339 We must get together and play sometime soon. 395 00:21:24,531 --> 00:21:26,436 - Next week? - I'll call you. 396 00:21:29,851 --> 00:21:31,881 WOMAN 1: [Whispers] The most odious woman alive. 397 00:21:41,615 --> 00:21:46,037 Okay, I need more tulle here. I need the feeling of a major tutu, okay? 398 00:21:50,344 --> 00:21:54,120 Gary, the ribbons go on the chairs, not on the trees. 399 00:21:56,704 --> 00:21:57,973 Oh, great. 400 00:22:02,107 --> 00:22:04,170 Where do you want the swans? 401 00:22:04,601 --> 00:22:06,869 - Do you know where the pond is? - Nope. 402 00:22:07,052 --> 00:22:09,955 - You know that little road you came up? - Nope. 403 00:22:10,669 --> 00:22:13,492 Do you know how to say "big help" in Chinese? 404 00:22:13,704 --> 00:22:15,098 - Nope. - Michel! 405 00:22:15,990 --> 00:22:17,577 This is 20 swans? 406 00:22:19,107 --> 00:22:20,536 Sure. Why not? 407 00:22:21,934 --> 00:22:23,158 You screeched? 408 00:22:23,305 --> 00:22:25,305 I need you to show this guy where to put the swans. 409 00:22:25,466 --> 00:22:26,578 Absolutely not. 410 00:22:26,714 --> 00:22:30,139 I can't leave. I've got a major tulle festival going on out here. 411 00:22:30,372 --> 00:22:32,877 - I will never go near those filthy birds. - Why? 412 00:22:33,074 --> 00:22:35,579 - I hate the swans. - These particular swans? 413 00:22:35,775 --> 00:22:37,170 No, all swans. 414 00:22:37,604 --> 00:22:40,314 I was attacked by a band of swans in the Luxembourg Gardens... 415 00:22:40,514 --> 00:22:42,385 when I was a boy. No one forgets that. 416 00:22:42,550 --> 00:22:45,816 Oh, no, not being attacked by a band of swans. 417 00:22:46,458 --> 00:22:50,438 Was it an all-boy band? Kind of a scary, feathery, 'NSync fiasco? 418 00:22:50,739 --> 00:22:53,449 - This is not funny. - No, I'm sorry. It's not funny at all. 419 00:22:53,649 --> 00:22:54,681 [Swan shrieks] 420 00:22:54,812 --> 00:22:55,844 Oh, my God. 421 00:22:55,977 --> 00:22:58,800 Come on, you have to admit that's a little funny. 422 00:22:59,011 --> 00:23:01,358 Hey, Pepé Le Pew, you want to give me a hand with this? 423 00:23:01,547 --> 00:23:02,547 No. 424 00:23:03,251 --> 00:23:05,315 Listen, it's Drella or the swans. 425 00:23:05,495 --> 00:23:07,604 So either one beast of terror or another? 426 00:23:07,781 --> 00:23:09,449 - What is he babbling about? - Don't... 427 00:23:09,611 --> 00:23:11,278 - He's afraid of the swans. - Thank you. 428 00:23:11,440 --> 00:23:13,232 Of course he is. He's French. 429 00:23:13,684 --> 00:23:16,111 - Okay, I'll take you to the pond. - Thank you. 430 00:23:18,962 --> 00:23:20,595 But stay far away from me. 431 00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:30,508 Can't stand the talk. Love to watch the walk. 432 00:23:32,846 --> 00:23:35,227 She caught him in the pool house with the tennis pro... 433 00:23:35,422 --> 00:23:37,134 not the riding instructor. 434 00:23:37,293 --> 00:23:38,484 I had no idea. 435 00:23:38,623 --> 00:23:42,003 That committee of yours is not looking at people as much as you think. 436 00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:44,110 Why would they? From what you've told me... 437 00:23:44,276 --> 00:23:47,179 they're all involved in one nefarious activity after another. 438 00:23:47,393 --> 00:23:49,820 - It's a conspiracy. - It's Peyton Place. 439 00:23:50,470 --> 00:23:52,420 - Is there more? - Can you handle it? 440 00:23:52,590 --> 00:23:54,177 I'll steel myself. 441 00:23:54,918 --> 00:23:57,627 Okay, Mr. Neville likes all things frilly. 442 00:23:58,326 --> 00:24:00,231 Good God, he's my broker. 443 00:24:01,028 --> 00:24:03,693 I don't think one will affect the other. 444 00:24:04,145 --> 00:24:06,697 - Mind if we barge in? - Look who's here. 445 00:24:07,803 --> 00:24:10,944 Rory, this is Julian Johnson and Edward James. 446 00:24:11,378 --> 00:24:13,520 - Call me Ed. - You can call me Ed, too. 447 00:24:15,036 --> 00:24:17,667 - It's nice to meet you. - Would you care to join us? 448 00:24:17,862 --> 00:24:21,480 If Rory doesn't mind us intruding on her time with her grandfather. 449 00:24:21,728 --> 00:24:23,837 - No, that's fine. - Great. 450 00:24:24,804 --> 00:24:27,911 - So, we hear you're attending Chilton. - I just started. 451 00:24:28,129 --> 00:24:29,921 - That's a hard school. - Yes, sir. 452 00:24:30,083 --> 00:24:32,385 RICHARD: Rory is an excellent student. JULIAN: Really? 453 00:24:32,576 --> 00:24:34,243 4.0 grade point average. 454 00:24:34,405 --> 00:24:36,786 Wow. That's got me beat. 455 00:24:39,684 --> 00:24:41,634 She's going to Fez someday. 456 00:24:41,804 --> 00:24:43,947 Fez? What the hell is in Fez? 457 00:24:44,630 --> 00:24:46,615 That's for her to find out. 458 00:24:58,639 --> 00:24:59,988 LUKE: Interesting hat. 459 00:25:00,550 --> 00:25:03,101 I went golfing with my grandfather today. 460 00:25:03,294 --> 00:25:05,720 Did you know golf courses are an environmental blight... 461 00:25:05,913 --> 00:25:08,215 because of the chemicals used to keep the grass green? 462 00:25:08,406 --> 00:25:09,880 Actually, I did. 463 00:25:11,524 --> 00:25:13,031 Bad joke. Sorry. 464 00:25:17,218 --> 00:25:18,218 [Bell ringing] 465 00:25:20,461 --> 00:25:23,806 My God. This day, the swans, the tulle, my head. 466 00:25:24,576 --> 00:25:26,640 Luke, I need the largest cheeseburger in the world. 467 00:25:26,820 --> 00:25:28,250 Let's break a record, mister. 468 00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:32,584 So, the wedding is a nightmare. We got these 10 boxes of creepy larvae... 469 00:25:32,848 --> 00:25:35,910 that are supposed to swarm into beautiful butterflies on the wedding day. 470 00:25:36,132 --> 00:25:38,592 They swarmed a little early. What's with the hat? 471 00:25:38,792 --> 00:25:40,017 Grandma gave it to me. 472 00:25:40,163 --> 00:25:42,590 - That's just mean. - It's not that bad. 473 00:25:42,782 --> 00:25:45,084 - Do you want a mirror? - I'm taking it off. 474 00:25:45,359 --> 00:25:49,135 - So, Rory's golfing adventure. Tell me. - It was fine. 475 00:25:49,391 --> 00:25:52,895 I brought you some of Sookie's chocolate cake to make you feel better. 476 00:25:53,131 --> 00:25:54,480 It really wasn't that bad. 477 00:25:54,628 --> 00:25:56,374 You're the sweetest kid in the whole world. 478 00:25:56,539 --> 00:25:58,172 Where on earth did you get that from? 479 00:25:58,327 --> 00:26:01,672 Luke, am I mistaken, or did the sign on the door say "open"? 480 00:26:01,902 --> 00:26:03,852 - So where were we? - Me golfing. 481 00:26:04,022 --> 00:26:05,530 - Right. Go. - Okay. 482 00:26:05,684 --> 00:26:06,684 Well... 483 00:26:06,973 --> 00:26:09,320 By the end of the day I could even hit the ball. 484 00:26:09,508 --> 00:26:12,013 Sometimes it wasn't my ball, but the intentions were good. 485 00:26:12,210 --> 00:26:14,920 Good intentions and no physical exertion whatsoever... 486 00:26:15,120 --> 00:26:16,946 is what the game of golf was built on. 487 00:26:17,115 --> 00:26:18,181 So did you order? 488 00:26:18,321 --> 00:26:20,782 I'm not hungry. I had a big lunch at the club. 489 00:26:20,981 --> 00:26:23,090 With all the other devastators of our land. 490 00:26:23,267 --> 00:26:25,648 Luke, I'm really sorry. I didn't know. 491 00:26:27,465 --> 00:26:30,493 - You had a big lunch at the club? - Yeah, it was quite good. 492 00:26:30,708 --> 00:26:33,611 - Quite? What's with the "quite"? - What do you mean? 493 00:26:33,825 --> 00:26:35,254 You don't ever say "quite." 494 00:26:35,405 --> 00:26:37,593 - I've said "quite" plenty of times. - Whatever. 495 00:26:37,774 --> 00:26:41,040 Besides the "quite good" lunch you had, what else happened? 496 00:26:41,266 --> 00:26:44,770 Nothing. We played. I met his friends. I took a steam. 497 00:26:45,006 --> 00:26:46,832 - You took a steam? - Yeah. 498 00:26:47,001 --> 00:26:49,983 I sweated out all my toxins, and I stole a towel. 499 00:26:50,202 --> 00:26:51,202 Wow. 500 00:26:51,491 --> 00:26:53,759 - Sounds like you really had a good time. - I did. 501 00:26:53,944 --> 00:26:55,010 - Really? - Really. 502 00:26:55,149 --> 00:26:56,578 - Really? - Really. 503 00:26:56,728 --> 00:26:59,551 - Okay, new word now. - Sorry. I'm just surprised. 504 00:27:00,345 --> 00:27:04,007 - I thought you were gonna be bored. - I was kind of surprised, too. 505 00:27:04,251 --> 00:27:07,198 I don't know, it was pretty there. And Grandpa and I talked a lot. 506 00:27:07,410 --> 00:27:09,836 - You talked? Really? - You're doing it again. 507 00:27:10,029 --> 00:27:11,503 Sorry. You talked? 508 00:27:12,273 --> 00:27:15,301 - We talked about Fez. - And he thought it was a hat. 509 00:27:15,515 --> 00:27:19,291 I told him about our backpacking trip, and he thought it was a great idea. 510 00:27:19,921 --> 00:27:20,921 Wow. 511 00:27:21,709 --> 00:27:23,659 So you really had fun? 512 00:27:24,286 --> 00:27:25,286 Yeah. 513 00:27:25,907 --> 00:27:27,336 That's great. 514 00:27:27,819 --> 00:27:30,881 That is really, really great. 515 00:27:32,974 --> 00:27:36,239 - I thought you were starving. - Things change. Move on. 516 00:27:38,211 --> 00:27:40,637 Does this hat really look bad on me? 517 00:27:46,441 --> 00:27:49,184 No, I think it looks kind of cute. 518 00:27:55,627 --> 00:27:58,497 It's your wedding day. Feel each other. 519 00:27:58,703 --> 00:28:01,368 Use the thumping of your heart as a metronome. 520 00:28:01,571 --> 00:28:04,440 Let passion be your choreographer. 521 00:28:04,772 --> 00:28:08,230 Be as light on your toes as you are in your hearts. 522 00:28:08,554 --> 00:28:11,378 Oh, no, darling. Let me show you how it's done. 523 00:28:11,589 --> 00:28:12,655 Again? 524 00:28:12,794 --> 00:28:13,794 [Mark grunts] 525 00:28:14,831 --> 00:28:17,416 You know, in some countries, if you dance this close... 526 00:28:17,616 --> 00:28:19,759 you're cheating on your wife. 527 00:28:20,068 --> 00:28:22,176 - You're next. - Take your time. 528 00:28:38,024 --> 00:28:40,485 - My God, you've good handwriting. - Thank you. 529 00:28:40,685 --> 00:28:43,826 You did not get that from me. Your fabulous flair you got from me. 530 00:28:44,051 --> 00:28:47,238 - I also got my deviated septum from you. - Hey, focus on the flair. 531 00:28:47,460 --> 00:28:49,410 It's for you. He says he's your father... 532 00:28:49,580 --> 00:28:51,927 although why he'd volunteer that freely, I don't know. 533 00:28:52,116 --> 00:28:53,147 - My father? - Yes. 534 00:28:53,279 --> 00:28:56,386 - Are you sure? - Please just take the phone. Thank you. 535 00:28:57,187 --> 00:28:58,253 Dad? 536 00:28:58,974 --> 00:29:01,717 Yeah, it's Lorelai. Who else calls you "dad"? 537 00:29:03,630 --> 00:29:06,499 Yeah, she's right here. Hold on. It's for you. 538 00:29:07,745 --> 00:29:09,775 Thanks. Hello? 539 00:29:10,613 --> 00:29:13,482 Hey, Grandpa. That's great. 540 00:29:15,185 --> 00:29:17,770 Jackie wants Samuel Barber, John Cage, and Philip Glass... 541 00:29:17,970 --> 00:29:20,713 and Jessica wants Shania Twain's I Feel Like a Woman. 542 00:29:20,921 --> 00:29:22,588 - I'm not a jukebox. - Oh, please. 543 00:29:22,751 --> 00:29:24,338 You think I started playing the harp... 544 00:29:24,496 --> 00:29:28,034 'cause I thought it would make me cool? Finally get me in with the in-crowd? 545 00:29:28,279 --> 00:29:30,988 Maybe I'd make for some great happy-hour conversation. 546 00:29:31,188 --> 00:29:33,739 No, all right? The music drives me, lady. 547 00:29:33,931 --> 00:29:36,436 I will play what I feel, and you will love it. 548 00:29:36,632 --> 00:29:40,329 - I'll give you an extra $100. - You just got yourself a jukebox. 549 00:29:45,195 --> 00:29:47,145 Yeah, I'd love to see it. 550 00:29:48,812 --> 00:29:50,524 No, if you want to. 551 00:29:51,680 --> 00:29:53,982 RORY: Sure. That sounds good. Yeah. 552 00:30:05,687 --> 00:30:07,638 Should I leave you two alone? 553 00:30:08,389 --> 00:30:11,133 - I think I want to change my hair. - Really? 554 00:30:11,341 --> 00:30:13,768 - I think it looks quite good. - You're funny. 555 00:30:14,749 --> 00:30:17,255 - Do you want something to drink? - Yeah, water. 556 00:30:23,228 --> 00:30:25,814 - So, you talked to Grandpa today? - What? 557 00:30:26,388 --> 00:30:28,610 - Grandpa, he called? - Yeah. 558 00:30:29,298 --> 00:30:30,806 Anything wrong? 559 00:30:30,960 --> 00:30:33,625 No, he just found this book we were talking about. 560 00:30:33,828 --> 00:30:34,828 [Lorelai exclaims] 561 00:30:35,990 --> 00:30:38,779 - And he just called to tell you? - Yeah. Why? 562 00:30:39,398 --> 00:30:43,016 Nothing. It's just weird. He doesn't call the inn that much. 563 00:30:43,264 --> 00:30:44,818 Or ever, actually. 564 00:30:45,509 --> 00:30:48,218 - He knew that I was looking for it, so... - Oh, sure. 565 00:30:48,668 --> 00:30:51,128 - What book is it? - Mencken's Chrestomathy. 566 00:30:51,494 --> 00:30:53,602 - Oh, that one. - Yeah. 567 00:30:54,070 --> 00:30:55,070 Hey. 568 00:30:55,317 --> 00:30:58,821 Cinnamon is stuck under our front porch again. 569 00:30:59,058 --> 00:31:01,644 Can I borrow some vegetable oil and a shoehorn? 570 00:31:01,843 --> 00:31:04,508 - I'll get it. - I'm calling him and calling him... 571 00:31:04,711 --> 00:31:05,831 and I go around the porch... 572 00:31:05,959 --> 00:31:08,828 and this big orange tush is just staring me in the face. 573 00:31:09,034 --> 00:31:10,034 I hate when that happens. 574 00:31:10,157 --> 00:31:12,866 Yeah. He must have been meowing for an hour... 575 00:31:13,067 --> 00:31:16,525 but Morey was playing some Thelonius on the Steinway... 576 00:31:16,766 --> 00:31:19,271 and when Morey plays, I go into this trance... 577 00:31:19,468 --> 00:31:23,244 where all I can see is blue, and moon, and stars. 578 00:31:23,499 --> 00:31:24,499 [Cinnamon meows] 579 00:31:24,622 --> 00:31:25,622 MOREY: Babette. 580 00:31:25,869 --> 00:31:28,817 Never mind, sugar. Play me home, baby! 581 00:31:34,806 --> 00:31:35,806 Bye. 582 00:31:38,131 --> 00:31:39,764 Oh, God! It's killing me! 583 00:31:46,028 --> 00:31:48,217 - Babette didn't take her oil. - Keep it. 584 00:31:48,398 --> 00:31:50,462 Christmas is early this year. 585 00:31:51,016 --> 00:31:52,176 You know what I was thinking? 586 00:31:52,305 --> 00:31:54,335 That Madonna and Sean Penn should get remarried? 587 00:31:54,508 --> 00:31:55,508 Besides that. 588 00:31:55,631 --> 00:31:59,213 I was thinking your golfing expedition should totally count as a dinner. 589 00:31:59,455 --> 00:32:01,775 - What do you mean? - I think I can get us out of dinner... 590 00:32:01,824 --> 00:32:04,966 at the grandparents' on Friday. Maybe we could grab a movie. 591 00:32:05,191 --> 00:32:06,191 Oh, well... 592 00:32:06,397 --> 00:32:08,981 - That's okay. - It's no big deal, really. 593 00:32:09,679 --> 00:32:11,821 No. It's just gonna get Grandma all freaked out. 594 00:32:12,007 --> 00:32:14,796 I can handle those freak-outs. I've done that. 595 00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:16,031 [Rory sighs] 596 00:32:16,164 --> 00:32:19,622 I have to get the book from Grandpa anyway. Let's just go. 597 00:32:20,445 --> 00:32:21,476 Oh. 598 00:32:21,609 --> 00:32:24,194 - All right, if you really want to. - I do. 599 00:32:26,098 --> 00:32:27,413 Okay, fine. 600 00:32:29,756 --> 00:32:31,344 - Is that my sweater? - What? 601 00:32:31,501 --> 00:32:33,644 - You're wearing my sweater. - So? 602 00:32:35,201 --> 00:32:37,027 No, it's okay. It's just... 603 00:32:37,196 --> 00:32:40,734 I thought I asked you to at least ask before you borrow my stuff. 604 00:32:40,979 --> 00:32:42,771 - I'm sorry. - It's okay. 605 00:32:44,720 --> 00:32:47,862 It's not too much for a simple "Can I borrow it, Mom?" is it? 606 00:32:48,087 --> 00:32:50,230 No, it's not. Jeez, lighten up. 607 00:32:52,368 --> 00:32:53,956 It's my favorite sweater, too. 608 00:32:54,114 --> 00:32:55,747 - Since when? - Since always. 609 00:32:55,901 --> 00:32:58,010 - This is not your favorite sweater. - Yes, it is. 610 00:32:58,187 --> 00:33:00,977 Now it's gonna be stretched out, like everything you borrow. 611 00:33:01,180 --> 00:33:02,291 What are you talking about? 612 00:33:02,427 --> 00:33:04,377 I'm talking about that you take my sweaters... 613 00:33:04,548 --> 00:33:06,180 wear them, and stretch them out. 614 00:33:06,335 --> 00:33:10,031 I couldn't possibly stretch them out. Your boobs are way bigger than mine. 615 00:33:10,283 --> 00:33:11,871 - That is not true. - Yes, it is. 616 00:33:12,029 --> 00:33:15,215 - Your boobs are totally bigger than mine. - You're crazy! 617 00:33:15,438 --> 00:33:16,945 - Do you want to measure? - What? 618 00:33:17,100 --> 00:33:19,605 I'm serious. Why don't you go get the measuring tape right now? 619 00:33:19,803 --> 00:33:21,390 I am not going to measure my boobs. 620 00:33:21,548 --> 00:33:23,928 Because you know that you are totally bigger. 621 00:33:24,124 --> 00:33:25,473 - I'm going inside. - Fine. 622 00:33:25,621 --> 00:33:28,252 - Don't measure. We'll just compare bras. - Stop it. 623 00:33:28,447 --> 00:33:30,636 I'll stop it when you quit stealing my stuff! 624 00:33:30,816 --> 00:33:32,086 You're cracked! 625 00:33:33,311 --> 00:33:34,705 You're bigger! 626 00:33:44,907 --> 00:33:47,969 "Your boobs are bigger than mine"? I'm a mental case. 627 00:33:48,191 --> 00:33:49,257 So apologize. 628 00:33:49,397 --> 00:33:51,585 I was too mad and stupid to apologize last night... 629 00:33:51,766 --> 00:33:53,670 and she was gone before I got up this morning. 630 00:33:53,845 --> 00:33:56,872 - What is wrong with me? - You're very possessive of your sweaters. 631 00:33:57,087 --> 00:34:00,353 I understand. If somebody breathes too hard on my paring knife... 632 00:34:00,578 --> 00:34:02,528 I'm like a crazy spider monkey. 633 00:34:02,699 --> 00:34:04,128 It's not about the sweater. 634 00:34:04,277 --> 00:34:07,497 It's about the golfing thing and the liking-it thing. 635 00:34:07,811 --> 00:34:10,919 She had fun, Sookie, just like my mother said she would. 636 00:34:11,136 --> 00:34:14,163 - Yeah, that's gotta hurt. - She should have fun. 637 00:34:14,461 --> 00:34:17,171 I want her to have a good relationship with her grandparents. 638 00:34:17,372 --> 00:34:20,353 Just because I don't doesn't mean she shouldn't, right? 639 00:34:20,572 --> 00:34:21,638 Right. 640 00:34:21,778 --> 00:34:25,360 So then, why was I trying to get her out of Friday night dinner? 641 00:34:25,602 --> 00:34:27,682 What am I trying to do? Undermine their relationship? 642 00:34:27,763 --> 00:34:28,795 - You weren't. - I was. 643 00:34:28,927 --> 00:34:30,639 - Yes, you were. - Yes, I'm 4 years old. 644 00:34:30,797 --> 00:34:32,543 - You're jealous. - I'm not jealous. 645 00:34:32,709 --> 00:34:35,579 You are. You're jealous 'cause they like Rory better than you. 646 00:34:35,785 --> 00:34:37,339 Thank you for the hug. 647 00:34:37,489 --> 00:34:38,962 See, I'm bad at advice talks. 648 00:34:39,109 --> 00:34:41,378 Can we talk about soup? 'Cause I'm good with soup. 649 00:34:41,562 --> 00:34:44,227 I'm sorry. You're fine. I'm all mixed-up. 650 00:34:44,430 --> 00:34:47,458 I left that life: the club, my parents. 651 00:34:47,672 --> 00:34:49,067 I ran from it as soon as I could. 652 00:34:49,210 --> 00:34:52,793 It just never occurred to me that she might want it. 653 00:34:53,118 --> 00:34:56,179 It occurred to my mother, though. God, I hate that she was right. 654 00:34:56,402 --> 00:34:58,510 You don't know that... Oh, my God. 655 00:34:58,688 --> 00:35:00,117 Hey, watch it! 656 00:35:01,348 --> 00:35:02,379 Stock. 657 00:35:03,427 --> 00:35:04,821 LORELAI: Are you okay? 658 00:35:05,422 --> 00:35:06,422 [Cyclist grunting] 659 00:35:07,126 --> 00:35:10,074 Look at you. You're beautiful! 660 00:35:11,864 --> 00:35:13,610 I have to be more adult about this. 661 00:35:13,776 --> 00:35:16,328 I mean, if the country club life is what she wants... 662 00:35:16,520 --> 00:35:18,152 more power to her, right? 663 00:35:18,307 --> 00:35:20,858 You know, little white gloves and coming-out parties. 664 00:35:21,051 --> 00:35:23,840 - That makes some girls happy, right? - Sure, yeah. 665 00:35:24,043 --> 00:35:26,152 If they're on Prozac, absolutely. 666 00:35:26,330 --> 00:35:29,391 I just never thought that I raised that kind of kid, you know? 667 00:35:29,613 --> 00:35:31,836 Not that there's anything wrong with that kind of kid. 668 00:35:32,024 --> 00:35:34,575 I didn't think that was Rory. Maybe it's not. I don't know. 669 00:35:34,768 --> 00:35:37,319 Am I obsessing? Sookie? Hello? 670 00:35:38,176 --> 00:35:40,682 Should I wear my strawberry costume to get your attention? 671 00:35:40,878 --> 00:35:42,307 No, I'm sorry. 672 00:35:42,789 --> 00:35:44,343 You have a strawberry costume? 673 00:35:44,494 --> 00:35:47,237 - Unbelievable! - Jackson. 674 00:35:47,695 --> 00:35:49,362 So this is what we've come to? 675 00:35:49,524 --> 00:35:52,744 You sneaking around behind my back buying somebody else's strawberries? 676 00:35:52,974 --> 00:35:55,478 - I was desperate! - You disgust me! 677 00:35:55,675 --> 00:35:58,816 - I needed the strawberries. - Well, now you have them. 678 00:35:59,291 --> 00:36:00,879 I hope you're happy together. 679 00:36:01,036 --> 00:36:02,862 - Jackson, wait! - No! 680 00:36:03,282 --> 00:36:05,312 - Come on, Jackson! - No! 681 00:36:05,484 --> 00:36:07,355 - Jackson, we can talk about it. - No! 682 00:36:07,521 --> 00:36:09,243 SOOKIE: Get back here! JACKSON: Get away from me! 683 00:36:09,267 --> 00:36:11,013 JACKSON: Why are you following me? 684 00:36:11,179 --> 00:36:13,005 JACKSON: Don't you follow me. SOOKIE: Come on! 685 00:36:34,165 --> 00:36:35,311 [People chattering] 686 00:37:08,873 --> 00:37:11,378 Pardon me. There you are. 687 00:37:13,237 --> 00:37:15,142 We did it. We sure did. 688 00:37:17,103 --> 00:37:19,212 God, I feel wonderful! 689 00:37:19,389 --> 00:37:21,532 I'm so glad it turned out the way you wanted it to. 690 00:37:21,716 --> 00:37:22,748 You have no idea. 691 00:37:22,880 --> 00:37:27,019 They just told me they're going to share a condo in Tucson, Arizona. 692 00:37:27,286 --> 00:37:29,667 That's hundreds of miles away. 693 00:37:29,947 --> 00:37:31,932 - Congratulations. - Thank you. 694 00:37:32,399 --> 00:37:34,349 Sister Sledge! Excuse me. 695 00:37:49,400 --> 00:37:51,067 - Hey, stranger. - Hey. 696 00:37:51,895 --> 00:37:53,686 - Good turnout? - Yeah. 697 00:37:53,848 --> 00:37:56,195 - Want something to drink? - Are you trying to make up? 698 00:37:56,383 --> 00:37:59,649 - No, I'm trying to hydrate you. - I'm fine, thanks. 699 00:38:02,036 --> 00:38:03,828 - I'm sorry. - It's okay. 700 00:38:03,990 --> 00:38:07,415 A crazy, evil spirit obsessed with bra size took over my body. 701 00:38:07,648 --> 00:38:09,235 - It happens. - She's gone now. 702 00:38:09,394 --> 00:38:10,823 Good to know. 703 00:38:11,929 --> 00:38:14,072 I'm glad you're bonding with your grandparents. 704 00:38:14,257 --> 00:38:15,652 - No, you're not. - Yes, I am. 705 00:38:15,795 --> 00:38:19,253 It's just weird for me, is all. I just can't relate to it. 706 00:38:20,035 --> 00:38:22,778 - You could if you tried. - No. We're too... 707 00:38:23,859 --> 00:38:25,650 Too much has happened. 708 00:38:27,516 --> 00:38:29,149 I'm glad you are, anyway. 709 00:38:29,677 --> 00:38:30,708 Okay. 710 00:38:31,423 --> 00:38:34,246 I didn't mean to cut you off from them so completely, you know. 711 00:38:34,457 --> 00:38:35,965 It just happened. 712 00:38:36,120 --> 00:38:38,989 Not having them in my life just felt so right. 713 00:38:39,404 --> 00:38:41,308 I just never thought... 714 00:38:41,981 --> 00:38:43,296 I'm sorry. 715 00:38:43,810 --> 00:38:46,191 WOMAN: I did not pay $500 for this dress... 716 00:38:46,471 --> 00:38:50,053 so you could run around and mess it up. Now you sit and be still. 717 00:38:50,295 --> 00:38:52,437 Cross your legs. You're a lady. 718 00:38:57,278 --> 00:39:01,178 God, I must have had a million dresses like that when I was a kid. 719 00:39:01,517 --> 00:39:03,944 - It doesn't really scream "you." - No. 720 00:39:04,884 --> 00:39:06,754 I did all the screaming. 721 00:39:10,122 --> 00:39:12,832 Thank you for not putting me in a dress like that. 722 00:39:13,447 --> 00:39:14,921 You're welcome. 723 00:39:15,650 --> 00:39:18,201 Of course, wearing those dresses... Not all bad. 724 00:39:18,394 --> 00:39:21,059 Oh, no. They really fly up when you twirl around. 725 00:39:21,262 --> 00:39:25,038 And if you're wearing that ruffled underwear, big crowd pleaser. 726 00:39:28,203 --> 00:39:32,387 If it makes you feel better, I think I got a fungus from the steam room. 727 00:39:33,025 --> 00:39:35,576 It does. Thank you. 728 00:39:49,775 --> 00:39:50,966 [People cheering] 729 00:39:54,556 --> 00:39:55,556 [Doorbell rings] 730 00:39:57,091 --> 00:39:58,995 Oh, good. You're here. 731 00:39:59,170 --> 00:40:00,395 Hi, Grandma. 732 00:40:00,541 --> 00:40:03,172 - My goodness. What's that? - We brought dessert. 733 00:40:03,368 --> 00:40:06,077 - Really? How thoughtful! What is it? - Blueberry shortcake. 734 00:40:06,278 --> 00:40:09,657 - I've never heard of blueberry shortcake. - It's a Stars Hollow specialty. 735 00:40:09,893 --> 00:40:12,445 - Why is it already cut? - It's left over. 736 00:40:12,637 --> 00:40:14,225 From the wedding. 737 00:40:14,383 --> 00:40:15,574 At the inn. 738 00:40:15,713 --> 00:40:16,904 I know where the wedding was. 739 00:40:17,043 --> 00:40:19,107 Sorry. You were just doing that staring thing. 740 00:40:19,287 --> 00:40:22,905 - You brought us used dessert? - It's not used. It's left over. 741 00:40:23,153 --> 00:40:24,185 How nice. 742 00:40:24,317 --> 00:40:27,855 I'll just put it in the kitchen next to my half-empty box of cheer. 743 00:40:28,432 --> 00:40:30,496 She's in a good mood tonight. 744 00:40:31,009 --> 00:40:32,234 Can I get you a drink? 745 00:40:32,382 --> 00:40:34,604 - White wine would be great. - Coke. 746 00:40:35,415 --> 00:40:39,158 Did Rory tell you all about the wonderful time she had at the club? 747 00:40:39,406 --> 00:40:42,672 - She sure did. - Your father was simply flying all week. 748 00:40:43,064 --> 00:40:46,012 - She really charmed him. - If anybody could, it would be her. 749 00:40:46,222 --> 00:40:49,409 In this age of MTV and 100 television channels... 750 00:40:49,839 --> 00:40:52,424 who would have imagined a girl could still get a thrill... 751 00:40:52,625 --> 00:40:54,733 spending a simple afternoon with her grandfather? 752 00:40:54,911 --> 00:40:56,577 That wine would be real good right now. 753 00:40:56,739 --> 00:40:59,608 I think we should consider getting her a membership at the club. 754 00:40:59,814 --> 00:41:00,846 If she wants, sure. 755 00:41:00,978 --> 00:41:03,201 To have a place to go where she can socialize. 756 00:41:03,389 --> 00:41:05,056 That's very important to a young girl. 757 00:41:05,218 --> 00:41:08,245 Now especially that the crack den has closed down on the corner... 758 00:41:08,460 --> 00:41:10,920 all her really good friends are gone. 759 00:41:12,076 --> 00:41:15,456 What do you think, Mom, should I pursue the career in comedy? 760 00:41:15,984 --> 00:41:19,602 It's just very interesting the way things turn out, isn't it? 761 00:41:20,930 --> 00:41:22,484 Oh, you're here. 762 00:41:23,134 --> 00:41:24,483 - Lorelai. - Dad. 763 00:41:24,630 --> 00:41:26,580 Rory, I have a surprise. 764 00:41:26,874 --> 00:41:30,332 Not only did I find that copy of Mencken's Chrestomathy we discussed... 765 00:41:30,573 --> 00:41:33,034 I also found a first edition of his memoirs as well. 766 00:41:33,234 --> 00:41:33,963 You're kidding. 767 00:41:33,975 --> 00:41:35,978 It's in my office if you'd like to see them. 768 00:41:36,185 --> 00:41:38,215 Oh, my God, I totally would. 769 00:41:40,383 --> 00:41:43,014 I'd like to take a look at those myself.