1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,071 LORELAI: Shopping for school supplies. Party. 2 00:00:01,095 --> 00:00:02,650 RORY: Nobody demanded that you come. 3 00:00:02,801 --> 00:00:05,105 Are you kidding? How often do you do things like this? 4 00:00:05,297 --> 00:00:08,486 While we're going crazy, we should get toilet paper and a plunger. 5 00:00:08,708 --> 00:00:09,708 I'll do this later. 6 00:00:09,831 --> 00:00:12,657 -No, I'm teasing. Get that list of yours. -Okay. 7 00:00:14,699 --> 00:00:16,764 -I need legal pads... -Got it. 8 00:00:16,945 --> 00:00:21,007 Tons of pens, some number 2 pencils, three highlighters, an eraser... 9 00:00:21,272 --> 00:00:23,303 a staple remover, and a folder. 10 00:00:23,476 --> 00:00:25,508 -You need three highlighters? -Yes. 11 00:00:25,681 --> 00:00:28,121 -That's a very random number. -Three is not a random number. 12 00:00:28,261 --> 00:00:30,213 How did you get to the number three? 13 00:00:30,382 --> 00:00:32,254 One dries up, one gets lost, I have one left. 14 00:00:32,420 --> 00:00:33,980 -You've really thought this out. -Yes. 15 00:00:34,125 --> 00:00:35,759 What came first, the chicken or the egg? 16 00:00:35,915 --> 00:00:39,342 -Can we get back to the list, please? -All right. Hey, legal pads. 17 00:00:40,533 --> 00:00:42,995 -No. Those are purple. -Yes. Purple is festive. 18 00:00:43,195 --> 00:00:45,181 -I can't have purple. -You can. They're on sale. 19 00:00:45,358 --> 00:00:47,583 I'm going to a serious school. I need serious paper. 20 00:00:47,771 --> 00:00:49,405 -Paper is paper. -Not at Chilton. 21 00:00:49,559 --> 00:00:52,267 All right, fine. Here's your serious paper. 22 00:00:52,291 --> 00:00:53,020 Thank you. 23 00:00:53,262 --> 00:00:57,290 And here are your somber highlighters, your maudlin pencils... 24 00:00:57,547 --> 00:00:59,691 -your manic-depressive pens. -Mom. 25 00:01:00,501 --> 00:01:02,850 These erasers are on lithium. So they seem cheerful... 26 00:01:03,039 --> 00:01:06,148 but we caught them trying to shove themselves in the pencil sharpener. 27 00:01:06,366 --> 00:01:07,486 -I'm going home. -No, wait. 28 00:01:07,531 --> 00:01:10,675 We're gonna stage an intervention with the neon Post-its... 29 00:01:10,901 --> 00:01:13,046 and make them give up their wacky, crazy ways. 30 00:01:13,230 --> 00:01:15,023 You're never coming shopping with me again. 31 00:01:15,186 --> 00:01:17,615 Here's a card tray. Everything is gonna... 32 00:02:49,037 --> 00:02:52,101 MAX: Decent effort by most. Good effort by some. 33 00:02:52,323 --> 00:02:54,309 Exceptional effort by two. 34 00:02:55,526 --> 00:02:58,034 Ms. Geller. Ms. Grant. 35 00:03:00,435 --> 00:03:01,831 Mr. Graham. 36 00:03:03,431 --> 00:03:07,856 Ms. Gilmore. Take these home. Learn from your mistakes. 37 00:03:09,629 --> 00:03:12,613 Look at the large red circles around various parts of your papers... 38 00:03:12,832 --> 00:03:15,420 as friendly reminders that to err is human. 39 00:03:15,828 --> 00:03:19,527 And that here at Chilton, we try to beat that humanity right out of you. 40 00:03:19,779 --> 00:03:22,083 Okay, next up, the test. 41 00:03:22,733 --> 00:03:25,161 The dreaded test. Shakespeare! 42 00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:28,426 The man we've been droning on about for the last three weeks... 43 00:03:28,640 --> 00:03:31,352 finally comes back to haunt us on Friday. 44 00:03:32,010 --> 00:03:35,278 This is a big one, my friends. Multiple-choice, with an essay section... 45 00:03:35,505 --> 00:03:38,648 that will count for 20% of your grade this semester. 46 00:03:38,999 --> 00:03:41,552 Don't be fooled by my kind face and charming personality. 47 00:03:41,744 --> 00:03:44,412 This test will be hard, and there will be no make-ups. 48 00:03:44,615 --> 00:03:45,615 [BELL RINGING] 49 00:03:45,738 --> 00:03:49,007 Refer to the study materials I gave you at the beginning of the month... 50 00:03:49,233 --> 00:03:52,377 and those extensive notes I know you've been taking. 51 00:03:53,309 --> 00:03:55,137 -Hard paper. -Killer. 52 00:03:55,306 --> 00:03:56,737 -How did you do? -A. 53 00:03:56,887 --> 00:03:57,887 Me, too! 54 00:03:57,968 --> 00:03:59,239 -Small world. -Isn't it? 55 00:03:59,384 --> 00:04:02,051 -Madeline, what did you get? -You know I got a B. 56 00:04:02,253 --> 00:04:04,716 -A B's not bad. It's respectable even. -Not at all. 57 00:04:04,916 --> 00:04:05,916 I'd be proud. 58 00:04:05,998 --> 00:04:09,380 A D, however, that would be cause for concern. 59 00:04:09,617 --> 00:04:10,684 A cry for help. 60 00:04:10,823 --> 00:04:12,457 A job application at McDonald's. 61 00:04:12,612 --> 00:04:14,167 "Would you like fries with that?" 62 00:04:14,318 --> 00:04:16,781 Hey, you know, not everybody can be smart. 63 00:04:16,980 --> 00:04:19,930 As my mother always says, "Somebody has to answer the phones." 64 00:04:20,142 --> 00:04:22,366 I have no idea what you two are talking about. 65 00:04:22,555 --> 00:04:24,859 No, but Rory does. 66 00:04:29,461 --> 00:04:30,732 Hey, Mary! 67 00:04:30,875 --> 00:04:32,941 And it just keeps getting better. 68 00:04:33,121 --> 00:04:34,755 -You look sad. -I'm fine. 69 00:04:34,911 --> 00:04:36,897 -Bad grade? -I have to go. 70 00:04:37,157 --> 00:04:39,949 Mary, I just can't figure out why we're not friends. 71 00:04:40,152 --> 00:04:41,945 I think it's because I make you nervous. 72 00:04:42,107 --> 00:04:43,934 I think it's because you can't learn my name. 73 00:04:44,104 --> 00:04:46,136 -Do you have a boyfriend? -None of your business. 74 00:04:46,309 --> 00:04:48,772 -Is that a no? -Is there no one else you can bother? 75 00:04:48,971 --> 00:04:51,069 I think you like me. You just don't know how to say it. 76 00:04:51,093 --> 00:04:52,093 Oh, boy. 77 00:04:52,216 --> 00:04:54,248 -So what are you doing Friday night? -I'm busy. 78 00:04:54,421 --> 00:04:56,645 What, you gotta be back at the convent by 5:00? 79 00:04:56,834 --> 00:04:58,343 Please leave me alone. 80 00:04:58,498 --> 00:05:00,768 All right. Since you said "please." 81 00:05:01,826 --> 00:05:03,415 Later, Mary. 82 00:05:11,019 --> 00:05:13,606 -You imbecile! -Back off, Chevalier. 83 00:05:13,807 --> 00:05:16,599 -You're stupid, blind, and clumsy. -At least I'm not French. 84 00:05:16,802 --> 00:05:18,471 -What's going on? -She ran over my shoe. 85 00:05:18,632 --> 00:05:20,346 -He got in the way. -You aimed for me. 86 00:05:20,505 --> 00:05:21,505 Yeah, well. 87 00:05:21,628 --> 00:05:23,738 -Hold on. -She scratched my shoes. 88 00:05:23,916 --> 00:05:27,298 -What a baby. -These are $300 Italian loafers. 89 00:05:27,535 --> 00:05:29,601 I wonder if Versace makes a pacifier. 90 00:05:29,782 --> 00:05:32,653 -You're fired. -You can't fire me. 91 00:05:32,860 --> 00:05:36,445 -Then I dock your pay. Can I kill her? -Not before high tea. 92 00:05:36,853 --> 00:05:39,997 Fine. Then I will curse you constantly and in several languages. 93 00:05:40,224 --> 00:05:43,809 -I'm going for the other foot. -Don't! Drella, to your corner now. 94 00:05:45,340 --> 00:05:46,408 I win. 95 00:05:46,546 --> 00:05:49,928 Michel, you're a grown man. Now go to your desk and act like one. 96 00:05:53,910 --> 00:05:55,227 Oh, my God. 97 00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:00,915 Sookie! 98 00:06:01,066 --> 00:06:03,778 -Okay, just a minute. -I've got it. 99 00:06:04,642 --> 00:06:05,642 The review? 100 00:06:05,724 --> 00:06:07,393 -It's here. -Where is it? 101 00:06:07,555 --> 00:06:08,667 -I'm looking. -Hurry. 102 00:06:08,802 --> 00:06:09,802 [DOOR OPENING] 103 00:06:11,466 --> 00:06:14,609 Behold, in theaters now, The Thing That Reads A Lot. 104 00:06:15,875 --> 00:06:17,941 -Chocolate? -Glass measuring cup. 105 00:06:18,121 --> 00:06:19,790 -Lorelai, look. -I'm sorry. 106 00:06:21,866 --> 00:06:24,578 -Jeez, who's naked? -Lucien Mills, food critic. 107 00:06:24,777 --> 00:06:25,923 Yeah? How's his butt? 108 00:06:26,067 --> 00:06:29,335 He was supposed to review the restaurant. Here it is. 109 00:06:29,562 --> 00:06:32,353 Is it good? Is he mean? Should I cry? 110 00:06:32,848 --> 00:06:34,165 Here we go. 111 00:06:34,387 --> 00:06:36,941 "The words 'divine, ' 'delectable, ' and 'delirious'... 112 00:06:37,133 --> 00:06:39,403 "don't begin to describe the delicious experience... 113 00:06:39,588 --> 00:06:42,572 "of dining at the Independence Inn." I'm smelling rave. 114 00:06:42,790 --> 00:06:43,790 Really? 115 00:06:43,914 --> 00:06:46,376 "Only Chef Sookie St. James could make a simple salad..." 116 00:06:46,577 --> 00:06:50,957 "Of hothouse tomatoes and assorted fresh herbs seem like a religious experience." 117 00:06:51,236 --> 00:06:54,663 "Her lobster bisque is worth every sinful, cream-filled, rich sip." 118 00:06:54,896 --> 00:06:58,482 See, I don't use that much cream. I just use a very concentrated lobster stock. 119 00:06:58,723 --> 00:07:00,993 -And it really makes it... -He's not here. 120 00:07:01,178 --> 00:07:02,178 Okay, go on. 121 00:07:02,301 --> 00:07:04,207 "The entrees are as heavenly as the starters." 122 00:07:04,382 --> 00:07:06,686 "Though the much-lauded risotto was perfectly fine..." 123 00:07:06,877 --> 00:07:09,907 "It was the handkerchief pasta with brown sage in a butter sauce..." 124 00:07:10,122 --> 00:07:11,835 "That sent me through the roof." 125 00:07:11,994 --> 00:07:15,138 This is unbelievable! I'm gonna have this framed for the dining room! 126 00:07:15,364 --> 00:07:18,314 Yeah, that'd be swell. Can I see that again? 127 00:07:19,274 --> 00:07:22,621 So we should celebrate tonight, huh? Girls on the town? 128 00:07:22,852 --> 00:07:24,327 I can't. I have to study. 129 00:07:24,474 --> 00:07:27,062 I should really get started on the shopping list. 130 00:07:27,261 --> 00:07:30,722 What is going on here? We are young and fiery women. 131 00:07:31,088 --> 00:07:33,279 Studying? Shopping lists? 132 00:07:33,460 --> 00:07:37,569 Where's "To hell with it all"? Where's "Throwing caution to the wind"? 133 00:07:37,870 --> 00:07:40,298 Where... Shoot, the linen delivery. 134 00:07:41,323 --> 00:07:42,718 You go, girl. 135 00:07:45,067 --> 00:07:47,133 NEWSCASTER: and the Person of the Week segment. 136 00:07:47,313 --> 00:07:49,458 -News is on! -One sec. 137 00:07:51,182 --> 00:07:55,563 For our top story tonight, a grisly, horrible thing happened in a small town... 138 00:07:55,841 --> 00:07:59,223 where no grisly, horrible things ever happen. Everyone's shocked! 139 00:07:59,502 --> 00:08:03,326 House slides down hill. Liposuction kills. Stay fat. 140 00:08:06,283 --> 00:08:09,029 Hey, let's get ice cream. I'm bored. 141 00:08:11,191 --> 00:08:12,304 Hello? 142 00:08:12,981 --> 00:08:14,048 Mom, I'm studying. 143 00:08:14,187 --> 00:08:16,297 But I'm talking ice cream. Can't you take a break? 144 00:08:16,475 --> 00:08:19,664 -I can't take a break right now. -Okay. When? 145 00:08:20,386 --> 00:08:22,496 -Are you four? -No, I'm hungry. 146 00:08:22,798 --> 00:08:25,432 -Have some more pizza. -It's cold. 147 00:08:25,752 --> 00:08:27,545 -Heat it up. -It's not the same. 148 00:08:27,708 --> 00:08:29,535 Lorelai, go to your room! 149 00:08:29,705 --> 00:08:31,611 Wow, smart girls are mean. 150 00:08:31,784 --> 00:08:34,496 If you let me study now, I'll play with you this weekend. 151 00:08:34,697 --> 00:08:37,409 -Promise? -Yes. We can do anything you want. 152 00:08:37,608 --> 00:08:39,408 -Will you go to the shoe sale with me? -Yes. 153 00:08:39,563 --> 00:08:41,515 -Will you let me try on anything I want? -Yes. 154 00:08:41,685 --> 00:08:44,239 Will you help push other people away if they go for my size? 155 00:08:44,430 --> 00:08:46,178 I'll even run interference for you. 156 00:08:46,344 --> 00:08:48,648 -All right, you've got a deal. -Good. 157 00:08:54,830 --> 00:08:58,496 So, I'm sorry. Where did we land on the whole ice cream issue? 158 00:09:03,359 --> 00:09:04,427 What? 159 00:09:25,907 --> 00:09:27,779 -Lane? -Rory? 160 00:09:29,318 --> 00:09:31,066 -Right or left? -Left. 161 00:09:40,883 --> 00:09:42,755 I thought you said left. 162 00:09:42,921 --> 00:09:45,747 -Sorry. My left, your right. -Okay. 163 00:09:51,159 --> 00:09:52,271 Marco. 164 00:09:52,864 --> 00:09:53,931 Polo. 165 00:09:56,982 --> 00:09:57,982 Marco. 166 00:09:58,106 --> 00:09:59,106 Polo. 167 00:09:59,978 --> 00:10:01,294 Hey, Marco. 168 00:10:01,475 --> 00:10:02,746 Hey, Polo. 169 00:10:03,514 --> 00:10:05,227 -You're late. -Sorry. 170 00:10:07,590 --> 00:10:08,985 What is that? 171 00:10:09,546 --> 00:10:10,896 12 calories. 172 00:10:11,376 --> 00:10:13,521 -Here. -Oh, my God. Bless you. 173 00:10:17,616 --> 00:10:19,840 -Man, what's that? -My notes. 174 00:10:20,611 --> 00:10:21,611 Really? 175 00:10:21,734 --> 00:10:24,083 I don't think Shakespeare knew himself this well. 176 00:10:24,272 --> 00:10:26,700 I like. How much? 177 00:10:27,018 --> 00:10:29,128 -$500. -Is that the best you can do? 178 00:10:29,306 --> 00:10:31,212 -$450. -I'm not so sure. 179 00:10:31,386 --> 00:10:33,497 $375 and you take it right now. 180 00:10:34,007 --> 00:10:36,311 -Sold. -We appreciate your business. 181 00:10:36,503 --> 00:10:37,535 Move. 182 00:10:40,995 --> 00:10:43,220 I really miss Stars Hollow High. 183 00:10:43,408 --> 00:10:46,711 -You're kidding, right? -No. Chilton's just... 184 00:10:47,235 --> 00:10:48,949 I don't know, hard. 185 00:10:50,190 --> 00:10:53,697 What do you care? You were always Miss Everything's-So-Easy-At-School. 186 00:10:53,934 --> 00:10:56,078 This should be a snap for you. 187 00:10:57,219 --> 00:10:59,125 Nope. This is sold. Move. 188 00:10:59,467 --> 00:11:01,657 -What's that? -That's mine. 189 00:11:02,711 --> 00:11:04,981 That is chocolate-covered death. 190 00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:07,642 With a creamy caramel surprise. 191 00:11:11,488 --> 00:11:14,519 -So, this guy asked about you today. -What guy? 192 00:11:15,066 --> 00:11:17,574 The new kid. Tall, perfect. 193 00:11:18,187 --> 00:11:20,457 -What did he want to know? -Where you were. 194 00:11:20,641 --> 00:11:21,641 What did you say? 195 00:11:21,764 --> 00:11:25,668 I told him you were too smart for us and you had to go to the genius school. 196 00:11:27,006 --> 00:11:29,832 He really liked that. I guess he's into brainy chicks. 197 00:11:30,042 --> 00:11:32,788 I'll keep my eyes open for one for him. 198 00:11:32,997 --> 00:11:35,822 -No. Sold. Move. -Mom. 199 00:11:36,033 --> 00:11:38,496 -Where do you want us to go? -Library. 200 00:11:39,403 --> 00:11:40,833 I hate sales. 201 00:11:46,308 --> 00:11:47,897 No Black Sabbath. 202 00:11:48,056 --> 00:11:49,202 No one's listening. 203 00:11:49,345 --> 00:11:52,534 No Black Sabbath, no Steely Dan, no Boston, and no Queen. 204 00:11:52,757 --> 00:11:54,901 What happened to make you so cold? 205 00:11:55,087 --> 00:11:58,957 -You like that Mozart. -I am the Artie Shaw of harpists. 206 00:12:00,910 --> 00:12:03,578 -Sookie, I need coffee to go. -There's fresh over there. 207 00:12:03,781 --> 00:12:04,781 Good. 208 00:12:09,064 --> 00:12:11,527 Fresh in my first lifetime as Joan of Arc. 209 00:12:12,267 --> 00:12:15,093 Sorry. I thought I made fresh. Here. 210 00:12:16,261 --> 00:12:19,643 Bless you. I'm so exhausted, and I have to drive into Hartford tonight... 211 00:12:19,880 --> 00:12:22,263 -to go to a parent-teacher meeting. -Sounds great. 212 00:12:22,460 --> 00:12:24,730 This school is so different from Stars Hollow. 213 00:12:24,914 --> 00:12:27,547 They send home, like, 1,000 pages of updates every week. 214 00:12:27,743 --> 00:12:30,250 -It's a very intense place. -Uh-huh. 215 00:12:30,696 --> 00:12:32,490 Last week, there was this huge debate... 216 00:12:32,652 --> 00:12:35,364 over whether plaid scrunchies were acceptable head wear. 217 00:12:35,564 --> 00:12:38,866 People took sides. Things got ugly. The scrunchy motion finally passed... 218 00:12:39,100 --> 00:12:42,447 -and I like to think I was the tiebreaker. -That's nice. 219 00:12:42,677 --> 00:12:44,663 Hey, what's the matter, sweetie? 220 00:12:45,340 --> 00:12:47,894 -He said it was fine. -Who said it was fine? 221 00:12:48,085 --> 00:12:49,957 -Lucien Mills. -The restaurant critic? 222 00:12:50,124 --> 00:12:52,553 -He said my risotto was fine. -Isn't it? 223 00:12:52,745 --> 00:12:54,300 No, it's not fine. 224 00:12:54,451 --> 00:12:57,163 Fine is a word you use when someone stops you on the street... 225 00:12:57,362 --> 00:12:59,377 that you sort of know, but you don't want to talk to. 226 00:12:59,401 --> 00:13:01,228 They ask you how you are, and you say, "Fine." 227 00:13:01,398 --> 00:13:05,177 That's enough so they don't have to keep talking to you, 'cause they don't want to. 228 00:13:05,433 --> 00:13:08,736 Then they can feel good because they've been considerate enough to ask... 229 00:13:08,969 --> 00:13:11,114 and if, God forbid, something actually is wrong... 230 00:13:11,299 --> 00:13:14,329 they'll sit down, take time and listen, even if they don't want to. 231 00:13:14,544 --> 00:13:18,414 I don't think he meant fine as a slam or as a monologue. 232 00:13:18,662 --> 00:13:20,648 He couldn't have meant it any other way. 233 00:13:20,825 --> 00:13:23,856 I hate to see you get so upset over one little review. 234 00:13:24,070 --> 00:13:27,611 This is pride, Lorelai. I mean, you know about this risotto. 235 00:13:27,856 --> 00:13:30,444 -On my mother's deathbed... -You made the risotto... 236 00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:33,593 -and she lived three more years. -She was supposed to be dead. 237 00:13:33,805 --> 00:13:35,995 The doctor said she wouldn't make it through the night. 238 00:13:36,176 --> 00:13:39,558 And she lived because of the risotto, the magic risotto. 239 00:13:39,795 --> 00:13:42,224 And this guy had the nerve to say it was fine. 240 00:13:42,416 --> 00:13:44,288 I don't think he knew the story. 241 00:13:45,702 --> 00:13:49,572 Okay. Before you get all goofy on me, I don't have your porcinis. 242 00:13:50,237 --> 00:13:51,712 I forgot them. 243 00:13:51,859 --> 00:13:55,286 I don't have any other excuse, other than plain, old, stupid human error. 244 00:13:55,521 --> 00:13:59,788 I have the morels, which I know you don't want, so come on, let me have it. 245 00:14:00,055 --> 00:14:01,564 Morels are fine. 246 00:14:02,509 --> 00:14:05,415 Did anyone else feel the shift in the space-time continuum? 247 00:14:05,629 --> 00:14:09,976 -A reviewer didn't like the risotto. -The magic risotto? You're kidding. 248 00:14:11,037 --> 00:14:13,863 I gotta go. So try and cheer her up, would you? 249 00:14:14,075 --> 00:14:15,107 Sure. 250 00:14:17,360 --> 00:14:21,422 Sweetie, please don't worry about it. Everyone knows you're the best. 251 00:14:25,140 --> 00:14:26,252 So... 252 00:14:27,969 --> 00:14:31,509 I hear the huckleberry crop's gonna totally suck this year. 253 00:14:33,294 --> 00:14:36,404 MAX: We are gonna be focusing on Elizabethan literature. 254 00:14:36,954 --> 00:14:41,063 Shakespeare, Marlowe, Bacon, Ben Jonson, John Webster. 255 00:14:41,323 --> 00:14:43,513 Is Marlowe really that significant? 256 00:14:43,694 --> 00:14:46,486 We want to give as complete an overview as possible. 257 00:14:46,689 --> 00:14:49,515 Yes, but will he be included on the advanced placement test? 258 00:14:49,726 --> 00:14:52,075 We can't know exactly what will be on the AP test... 259 00:14:52,264 --> 00:14:55,725 but it will be important for future studies when your kids hit their universities. 260 00:14:55,966 --> 00:14:58,315 But to get there they need to pass the AP test. 261 00:14:58,503 --> 00:15:01,295 Right, it's all important. It could all be on the test. 262 00:15:01,499 --> 00:15:02,974 How do we find out? 263 00:15:03,121 --> 00:15:05,833 You could bribe somebody on the AP Committee. 264 00:15:06,907 --> 00:15:08,972 I was kidding. I'm just kidding. 265 00:15:09,570 --> 00:15:12,441 I'm so sorry. I had a terrible pothole incident. 266 00:15:12,981 --> 00:15:15,171 You don't care. So please, go on. 267 00:15:18,264 --> 00:15:19,898 What in the world? 268 00:15:22,132 --> 00:15:23,358 You okay? 269 00:15:23,713 --> 00:15:26,743 -I'll just sit now. -I don't think we've met. 270 00:15:27,416 --> 00:15:30,559 I'm Lorelai Gilmore. Rory's mom. 271 00:15:30,786 --> 00:15:33,532 Glad you could join us. Rory's one of our new students. 272 00:15:33,739 --> 00:15:35,805 How nice. Now, the AP test. 273 00:15:36,236 --> 00:15:39,346 Right. Well, we are preparing them as best we can. 274 00:15:39,563 --> 00:15:41,277 I've hired a tutor for Bethany. 275 00:15:41,435 --> 00:15:43,229 Always a valid option. 276 00:15:43,890 --> 00:15:46,239 Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and the camel! 277 00:15:47,675 --> 00:15:49,581 It's really bad coffee. 278 00:15:51,170 --> 00:15:54,154 So, this AP test, what are we gonna do about it? 279 00:15:54,914 --> 00:15:57,343 The next test is scheduled for next month. 280 00:15:58,325 --> 00:16:00,550 The 25th, Saturday, at 7:00 a.m. 281 00:16:03,484 --> 00:16:06,196 -Ms. Gilmore? -Where is the test? 282 00:16:06,936 --> 00:16:09,047 -It will be given here. -Here? 283 00:16:09,308 --> 00:16:10,738 -Right. -Great. 284 00:16:13,093 --> 00:16:15,159 -Any other questions? -Yeah. 285 00:16:16,546 --> 00:16:18,101 Can parents come? 286 00:16:18,959 --> 00:16:20,071 What? 287 00:16:20,415 --> 00:16:23,003 Yeah, it's a big, exciting test. So I just thought... 288 00:16:23,202 --> 00:16:25,789 -I'm sorry. Is that stupid? -No, it's not stupid. 289 00:16:25,990 --> 00:16:28,180 I just thought I'd like to see the excitement. 290 00:16:28,361 --> 00:16:29,916 -It's a test. -Yeah, I know. 291 00:16:30,066 --> 00:16:31,541 What's exciting about a test? 292 00:16:31,689 --> 00:16:33,278 -Do you play golf? -Yes, I do. 293 00:16:33,437 --> 00:16:36,739 -You explain yours, I'll explain mine. -Why don't we get back to the meeting? 294 00:16:36,972 --> 00:16:39,276 That's the one who voted for the scrunchies. 295 00:16:39,468 --> 00:16:41,454 Must be a scholarship student. 296 00:16:41,631 --> 00:16:42,823 Excuse me. 297 00:16:42,963 --> 00:16:45,755 You know what? I think this would be a good time for a break. 298 00:16:45,958 --> 00:16:47,944 There's coffee in the back. 299 00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:01,586 What were you gonna do? Hit her? 300 00:17:01,766 --> 00:17:04,592 No. I had some good verbal comebacks ready. 301 00:17:08,339 --> 00:17:11,925 -It just keeps getting worse. -Not drinking it is always an option. 302 00:17:12,166 --> 00:17:13,483 Not in my world. 303 00:17:13,622 --> 00:17:15,926 -I'm Max Medina. -Nice to meet you. 304 00:17:16,660 --> 00:17:19,690 I apologize for the behavior of some of our guests tonight. 305 00:17:19,904 --> 00:17:21,652 It's a tense time for some people. 306 00:17:21,817 --> 00:17:23,928 -The SAT season? -The waking hours. 307 00:17:25,811 --> 00:17:28,444 -Are you this nice to my kid? -It's easy. 308 00:17:29,097 --> 00:17:31,526 -Rory's a sweet girl. -Yeah, she is. 309 00:17:34,464 --> 00:17:36,371 How is she liking Chilton? 310 00:17:37,834 --> 00:17:39,661 -She loves it. -Really? 311 00:17:39,831 --> 00:17:44,416 Yeah. It's an adjustment, of course. But she's always wanted to go to Harvard. 312 00:17:44,906 --> 00:17:47,210 -This is how she'll get there. -Harvard? 313 00:17:47,527 --> 00:17:50,637 Ever since she could crawl, I've really wanted her to go there. 314 00:17:50,855 --> 00:17:51,922 It's a great school. 315 00:17:52,061 --> 00:17:54,648 I actually bought her a Harvard sweatshirt when she was four. 316 00:17:54,849 --> 00:17:56,529 Which, of course, was way too big for her. 317 00:17:56,596 --> 00:17:58,276 So she used it as a blanket for a while... 318 00:17:58,426 --> 00:18:01,411 and then as a make-shift diaper on this really ill-fated shopping trip. 319 00:18:01,629 --> 00:18:04,182 And now I've told you a story that would so mortify her... 320 00:18:04,375 --> 00:18:06,281 she'll kill me when she finds out you know. 321 00:18:06,456 --> 00:18:08,866 Don't tell her, then. It'll be our secret. 322 00:18:08,890 --> 00:18:09,996 I appreciate that. 323 00:18:12,446 --> 00:18:14,478 So, are you a B-52's girl? 324 00:18:15,607 --> 00:18:16,674 What? 325 00:18:18,602 --> 00:18:23,266 No, I'm a klutz girl who should not drive with coffee in her hand. 326 00:18:24,759 --> 00:18:26,870 I had this in the car. 327 00:18:29,544 --> 00:18:32,733 I hope Rory adjusts to this place. We need her here. 328 00:18:33,204 --> 00:18:34,873 Thank you. That's so nice. 329 00:18:35,035 --> 00:18:37,417 I hope she's not too disappointed about her paper. 330 00:18:37,614 --> 00:18:40,077 It's very hard to catch up on all that reading material. 331 00:18:40,276 --> 00:18:42,988 -I know a D seems pretty dismal... -Rory got a D? 332 00:18:43,188 --> 00:18:44,748 -Yeah, but... -She's never gotten a D. 333 00:18:44,894 --> 00:18:48,083 It's the first paper she's had to turn in. She's bound to falter a little. 334 00:18:48,305 --> 00:18:50,688 This totally explains the no ice-cream thing. 335 00:18:50,885 --> 00:18:53,392 -God, I'm such an idiot. -The ice-cream thing? 336 00:18:53,589 --> 00:18:55,574 Look, I've gotta go. 337 00:18:55,918 --> 00:18:58,063 I'm sorry if I said something to offend you. 338 00:18:58,247 --> 00:19:01,630 No. It's just that if Rory got a D, she's not feeling too good right now. 339 00:19:01,867 --> 00:19:04,851 -And I'd really like to be there. -I understand. 340 00:19:05,071 --> 00:19:07,136 So, it was nice meeting you. 341 00:19:07,524 --> 00:19:08,750 You, too. 342 00:19:09,979 --> 00:19:12,090 -Keep up the good work. -I will. 343 00:19:12,267 --> 00:19:16,296 -Don't ever make coffee ever again. -I won't, I promise. 344 00:19:18,591 --> 00:19:19,737 Thanks. 345 00:19:20,795 --> 00:19:22,622 -Bye. -Bye. 346 00:19:42,137 --> 00:19:43,805 -Here. -What's that? 347 00:19:43,967 --> 00:19:45,476 -You look like you need pie. -I do? 348 00:19:45,631 --> 00:19:48,264 Violent pencil-tossing usually signals a need for pie. 349 00:19:48,459 --> 00:19:49,685 What if I'd thrown a pen? 350 00:19:49,833 --> 00:19:51,467 -I would've brought you a trout. -What? 351 00:19:51,621 --> 00:19:54,084 I don't make the rules, I just carry them out. 352 00:20:01,189 --> 00:20:04,061 Hey, backwards baseball hat. New look for you. 353 00:20:06,141 --> 00:20:08,489 She's eating pie? Did she even have dinner? 354 00:20:08,678 --> 00:20:10,710 You raised her. I just serve. 355 00:20:15,792 --> 00:20:18,174 -Hello, bookworm. -Finally. 356 00:20:18,578 --> 00:20:22,358 -Where were you? -Well, actually, I was in Hartford. 357 00:20:23,030 --> 00:20:24,097 Why? 358 00:20:24,237 --> 00:20:26,109 I was there for the... 359 00:20:27,065 --> 00:20:31,332 Parent-teacher meeting. Oh, my God, I forgot. 360 00:20:31,642 --> 00:20:32,833 It went very well. 361 00:20:32,972 --> 00:20:36,002 I was extremely charming. I won the whole crowd over. 362 00:20:36,218 --> 00:20:37,886 They made me queen. 363 00:20:38,048 --> 00:20:41,112 So, I guess you talked to Mr. Medina. 364 00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:45,302 Why did you let me whine about ice cream and shoe sales... 365 00:20:45,536 --> 00:20:47,521 when you had something major going on? 366 00:20:47,699 --> 00:20:48,766 I know. 367 00:20:48,906 --> 00:20:52,333 I hate when I'm an idiot and don't know it. I like to be aware of my idiocy. 368 00:20:52,566 --> 00:20:56,470 To revel in it, take pictures. We've missed a prime Christmas-card opportunity. 369 00:20:56,727 --> 00:20:58,043 I'm sorry. 370 00:20:58,183 --> 00:21:00,010 You should have told me. 371 00:21:00,636 --> 00:21:01,704 I couldn't. 372 00:21:01,843 --> 00:21:04,476 You couldn't tell me? You tell me everything. 373 00:21:04,672 --> 00:21:06,147 It was too humiliating. 374 00:21:06,295 --> 00:21:09,642 Honey, you once told me that you loved Saved By the Bell. 375 00:21:10,039 --> 00:21:12,309 What could be more humiliating than that? 376 00:21:12,493 --> 00:21:14,445 I couldn't form the words. 377 00:21:14,698 --> 00:21:17,967 I couldn't even say it. I couldn't even comprehend it. 378 00:21:18,192 --> 00:21:21,494 It was a D. I got a D. 379 00:21:21,770 --> 00:21:24,119 -I've never gotten a D. Ever. -I know. 380 00:21:24,474 --> 00:21:27,107 Even when I broke my arm and couldn't write for a month... 381 00:21:27,303 --> 00:21:28,699 I got an A minus. 382 00:21:28,842 --> 00:21:32,349 -That was a different school. -I know. It was Stars Hollow High. 383 00:21:32,587 --> 00:21:35,537 A D at Stars Hollow is like an F at Chilton. 384 00:21:35,747 --> 00:21:38,732 It's worse. It's like a G or a W. 385 00:21:39,159 --> 00:21:42,143 So I'm guessing the spelling test didn't go well, either? 386 00:21:43,278 --> 00:21:44,470 A D. 387 00:21:44,984 --> 00:21:46,016 I suck. 388 00:21:46,231 --> 00:21:47,706 You don't suck. 389 00:21:48,186 --> 00:21:52,170 -I can't do this. -Listen, a D is bad, okay? 390 00:21:52,429 --> 00:21:55,301 But this talk about "I suck," "I can't do this," and self-pity... 391 00:21:55,508 --> 00:21:58,538 that's worse. That's not you. You didn't feel sorry for yourself... 392 00:21:58,753 --> 00:22:01,340 when it took you three months to learn how to ride a bike. 393 00:22:01,541 --> 00:22:02,857 Four months. 394 00:22:03,162 --> 00:22:05,511 It took me four months to learn how to ride a bike. 395 00:22:05,700 --> 00:22:07,369 Really? Four months? 396 00:22:07,531 --> 00:22:09,563 Yeah. You wanna belabor the conversation? 397 00:22:09,735 --> 00:22:11,166 Forget about the bike. 398 00:22:11,316 --> 00:22:14,108 Listen, a D is one grade. It's not the end of the world. 399 00:22:14,312 --> 00:22:17,500 You'll catch up, you'll do better. You are of hardy, stubborn stock. 400 00:22:17,723 --> 00:22:19,867 If there's one thing I gave you, it's stubbornness. 401 00:22:20,053 --> 00:22:21,528 -I'm not stubborn. -You are. 402 00:22:21,675 --> 00:22:23,070 -I'm not. -Fine. You're not. 403 00:22:23,215 --> 00:22:24,610 -Thank you. -You're welcome. 404 00:22:24,754 --> 00:22:27,625 You can do this, and I'll help you. I'll get you through this. 405 00:22:27,832 --> 00:22:29,545 Now put the D behind you. 406 00:22:29,704 --> 00:22:32,132 -What's next? -I have a test on Friday. 407 00:22:32,325 --> 00:22:34,674 -A test. Great! -On Shakespeare. 408 00:22:35,154 --> 00:22:36,867 The bard with a beard. Love it. 409 00:22:37,026 --> 00:22:39,533 -It's 20% of my grade. -Just makes life interesting. 410 00:22:39,730 --> 00:22:42,760 Now what do we have to do to get you an A on that test? 411 00:22:43,348 --> 00:22:45,380 Do you really think I can do this? 412 00:22:45,596 --> 00:22:47,184 I bet you $1. 413 00:22:47,842 --> 00:22:50,349 That's it? That's all my future's worth, $1? 414 00:22:50,629 --> 00:22:52,501 Well, you did get a D. 415 00:22:59,240 --> 00:23:02,826 "Let me not to the marriage of true minds Admit impediments 416 00:23:03,067 --> 00:23:06,336 "Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds 417 00:23:06,562 --> 00:23:08,753 "Or bends with the remover to remove 418 00:23:08,933 --> 00:23:11,282 "O, no! it is an ever-fixed mark" 419 00:23:11,471 --> 00:23:13,978 "That looks on tempests and is never shaken" 420 00:23:14,175 --> 00:23:16,399 "It is the star to every wandering bark" 421 00:23:16,587 --> 00:23:19,856 "Whose worth's unknown although his height be taken" 422 00:23:21,455 --> 00:23:23,168 You're going down. 423 00:23:29,442 --> 00:23:31,949 Sookie, do you know what the menu's gonna be... 424 00:23:32,770 --> 00:23:34,121 -Good? -Hot. 425 00:23:34,268 --> 00:23:35,902 Wait. I got another one. 426 00:23:36,764 --> 00:23:37,956 -Better? -Hotter. 427 00:23:38,096 --> 00:23:39,809 Wait. I got one more. 428 00:23:41,881 --> 00:23:45,626 What's with all the risotto? Have we gone theme now? 429 00:23:45,874 --> 00:23:48,223 Is it gonna be like the Scotch tape store? 430 00:23:48,412 --> 00:23:50,999 Look, I've made 40 recipes, okay? 40. 431 00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:53,867 And every single time, I come back to the same conclusion. 432 00:23:54,070 --> 00:23:55,296 That yours is better. 433 00:23:55,443 --> 00:23:56,475 -Yes. -It is. 434 00:23:56,608 --> 00:23:58,168 -You were looking for me? -Yes, great! 435 00:23:58,230 --> 00:24:00,784 Three weeks ago, a guy comes in here, Lucien Mills... 436 00:24:00,975 --> 00:24:02,723 orders the risotto, doesn't like it. 437 00:24:02,889 --> 00:24:05,318 -The magic risotto? You're kidding. -Not helping. 438 00:24:05,511 --> 00:24:06,623 He's a restaurant critic. 439 00:24:06,758 --> 00:24:09,312 He ordered lots of things, probably didn't finish them. 440 00:24:09,504 --> 00:24:12,058 In his review, he said his waiter had a goatee. 441 00:24:12,249 --> 00:24:15,155 You've got a goatee, so you waited on him, and I need info. 442 00:24:15,369 --> 00:24:18,161 -What did he look like? -Like he was unhappy with the risotto! 443 00:24:18,364 --> 00:24:19,873 Maybe he had an annoying companion... 444 00:24:20,029 --> 00:24:22,229 that wouldn't let him concentrate on what he was eating. 445 00:24:22,358 --> 00:24:25,468 -I serve a lot of people. -He had a beard, false teeth, or a wig... 446 00:24:25,686 --> 00:24:27,558 or the glasses with the big nose. 447 00:24:27,725 --> 00:24:29,631 -May I be fired now? -Absolutely. 448 00:24:29,805 --> 00:24:32,472 What about a guy with an annoying companion and a fake wig... 449 00:24:32,675 --> 00:24:34,581 sitting underneath an air-conditioning vent... 450 00:24:34,755 --> 00:24:36,661 next to a woman with too much perfume on? 451 00:24:37,376 --> 00:24:40,837 -The Comedy of Errors: written? -1590. 452 00:24:41,370 --> 00:24:43,594 -Published? -1698. 453 00:24:43,866 --> 00:24:47,327 -1623. Close. -How is 1623 close? 454 00:24:47,569 --> 00:24:50,553 -You got the 16 part right. -I was off by 75 years. 455 00:24:50,771 --> 00:24:52,643 Anything under 100 is close. 456 00:24:52,852 --> 00:24:56,359 -What kind of a rule is that? -I'm running the study session here. 457 00:24:56,886 --> 00:24:59,632 -Okay. Richard lll. -1591. 458 00:24:59,841 --> 00:25:00,841 [LORELAI IMITATES BUZZER] 459 00:25:01,130 --> 00:25:02,924 '93? '96? 460 00:25:03,085 --> 00:25:04,085 [LORELAI IMITATES BUZZER] 461 00:25:04,209 --> 00:25:06,115 Okay, that's getting really annoying now. 462 00:25:06,288 --> 00:25:07,288 [LORELAI IMITATES BUZZER] 463 00:25:12,154 --> 00:25:13,584 Go on. I'm listening. 464 00:25:13,735 --> 00:25:16,288 The sonnets are 154 poems of 14 lines. 465 00:25:16,481 --> 00:25:19,863 -Except? -Except for 126, which is 12 lines. 466 00:25:20,183 --> 00:25:21,250 Good. 467 00:25:22,180 --> 00:25:24,370 They're written in iambic pentameter. 468 00:25:24,968 --> 00:25:29,269 -Except? -Except for 145, which is in tetrameter. 469 00:25:29,627 --> 00:25:31,260 -Rock on, sister. -Really? 470 00:25:31,415 --> 00:25:34,717 -Not one mistake. How do you feel? -Nauseous. 471 00:25:34,952 --> 00:25:37,664 I don't think the fries and the horseradish sauce... 472 00:25:37,863 --> 00:25:39,452 was the best idea we ever had. 473 00:25:39,611 --> 00:25:41,563 It was satisfying in the moment, though. 474 00:25:41,732 --> 00:25:43,798 You're gonna blow that class away tomorrow. 475 00:25:43,978 --> 00:25:45,374 -You think? -I think. 476 00:25:45,518 --> 00:25:49,138 What do you say we call it a night and get some beauty sleep? 477 00:25:49,428 --> 00:25:51,653 You go. I wanna review my notes one more time. 478 00:25:51,841 --> 00:25:54,031 -That's okay. I'll stay up. -Mom, go to sleep. 479 00:25:54,212 --> 00:25:57,322 No. I'm not even tired. I was just thinking of you. 480 00:27:32,432 --> 00:27:33,623 No! 481 00:27:34,387 --> 00:27:35,782 Oh, no! 482 00:27:37,299 --> 00:27:40,409 Oh, jeez. This was such a bad sleeping idea. 483 00:27:41,043 --> 00:27:42,949 -I'm late! -What? 484 00:27:43,623 --> 00:27:47,163 -I'm late! I woke up late! -All right, calm down. 485 00:27:47,491 --> 00:27:50,236 I can't calm down! I missed my bus! Get up! 486 00:27:50,445 --> 00:27:51,954 Mommy can't get up right now. 487 00:27:52,109 --> 00:27:54,742 Mommy's been sleeping at a right angle all night. 488 00:27:55,021 --> 00:27:58,528 -I'm gonna miss the test! -No, you're not. 489 00:27:59,389 --> 00:28:03,009 I'll get the keys. We'll go right now. Let's go! 490 00:28:04,921 --> 00:28:07,146 -I can't take you. -You have to! 491 00:28:07,334 --> 00:28:09,558 -I have a meeting at the Inn at 8:00! -Mom! 492 00:28:09,747 --> 00:28:13,049 Okay, wait. Think. Listen. Here. You drive. 493 00:28:13,449 --> 00:28:15,719 -What? -You drive. I'll get a ride from Sookie. 494 00:28:15,904 --> 00:28:17,618 Take the phone. Take the keys. Go! 495 00:28:17,776 --> 00:28:18,843 -Are you sure? -Go! 496 00:28:18,983 --> 00:28:21,695 -I'm gone! -Good luck! 497 00:28:41,987 --> 00:28:42,987 Hello? 498 00:28:43,110 --> 00:28:45,142 Did I leave a set of notes at your house? 499 00:28:45,316 --> 00:28:47,268 -Where are you? -I'm driving to school. 500 00:28:47,437 --> 00:28:50,149 I need to check something and I can't find some of my notes. 501 00:28:50,350 --> 00:28:52,063 Okay, hold on. Let me check. 502 00:28:57,546 --> 00:29:01,132 -I don't see anything. -What did I do with them? 503 00:29:01,664 --> 00:29:04,649 -Maybe it's downstairs in the store? -Maybe. I just... 504 00:29:05,284 --> 00:29:07,350 -Oh, my God! -Are you all right? 505 00:29:08,820 --> 00:29:11,373 -I just got hit by a deer! -You hit a deer? 506 00:29:11,566 --> 00:29:14,948 -No! I got hit by a deer. -How do you get hit by a deer? 507 00:29:15,185 --> 00:29:18,851 I was at a stop sign, and he hit me! Oh, my God! 508 00:29:19,720 --> 00:29:21,433 Was it a four-way stop? 509 00:29:21,883 --> 00:29:23,755 -What does that matter? -I don't know. 510 00:29:23,921 --> 00:29:26,905 I don't know what to ask after you've been hit by a deer. 511 00:29:27,790 --> 00:29:30,820 -I don't see him. -Put salt down. Deers love salt. 512 00:29:31,076 --> 00:29:33,584 -Where am I gonna get salt? -Do you have a lunch? 513 00:29:33,780 --> 00:29:35,176 -Lane! -Sorry. 514 00:29:36,401 --> 00:29:39,113 I don't see him anywhere. What if he's hurt? 515 00:29:39,314 --> 00:29:40,346 Rory, your test. 516 00:29:40,478 --> 00:29:42,827 -What time is it? -It's 7:40. 517 00:29:43,016 --> 00:29:44,128 No! 518 00:30:01,153 --> 00:30:02,424 I'm sorry. 519 00:30:02,943 --> 00:30:04,063 Everyone back to your tests. 520 00:30:04,149 --> 00:30:06,611 -You'll have to wait in the library. -What about the test? 521 00:30:06,812 --> 00:30:08,242 -You've missed the test. -No. 522 00:30:08,393 --> 00:30:11,775 We start class promptly at 8:05. That's when I need people in their seats. 523 00:30:12,011 --> 00:30:13,725 -Please. -I'm sorry. It's the rules. 524 00:30:13,883 --> 00:30:16,471 But you don't understand. I was up all night studying... 525 00:30:16,671 --> 00:30:18,816 and then I missed my bus. So I had to drive. 526 00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:22,541 -Let's discuss this outside. -So, I'm driving, and I get hit by a deer. 527 00:30:22,786 --> 00:30:25,135 -You hit a deer? -No, I got hit by a deer. 528 00:30:25,324 --> 00:30:28,308 You don't believe me? I've got antler prints on the side of the car. 529 00:30:28,527 --> 00:30:29,527 Come on. 530 00:30:29,651 --> 00:30:32,238 No! You have to let me take this test! I'm ready for it. 531 00:30:32,437 --> 00:30:35,309 -I know everything about Shakespeare. -You need to calm down now. 532 00:30:35,516 --> 00:30:38,546 -I know his birthday, his mother's name... -Loser. 533 00:30:39,219 --> 00:30:41,284 And just what is wrong with you? 534 00:30:41,465 --> 00:30:44,654 You already have everything. You have the grades and the status. 535 00:30:44,876 --> 00:30:46,022 What's wrong with you... 536 00:30:46,166 --> 00:30:48,753 that you have this need to be the biggest jerk in the world? 537 00:30:48,953 --> 00:30:49,953 Let's go. 538 00:30:50,493 --> 00:30:53,205 What's up, quippy? Why so silent? 539 00:30:53,404 --> 00:30:54,799 Outside, now. 540 00:30:56,982 --> 00:30:59,694 And, for the last time, the name is Rory! 541 00:31:05,094 --> 00:31:07,681 Make sure that carpet is replaced perfectly before they go. 542 00:31:07,881 --> 00:31:10,264 -Okay. -Perfectly, nailed down and everything. 543 00:31:10,461 --> 00:31:13,605 You mean that perfectly. I thought you meant the other perfectly. 544 00:31:13,830 --> 00:31:16,736 The one that could be misinterpreted by the other Michel... 545 00:31:16,950 --> 00:31:20,457 the one who couldn't understand what you meant by perfectly. 546 00:31:23,648 --> 00:31:27,427 -What do you think about Pat Benatar? -Great idea. Can she play the harp? 547 00:31:28,724 --> 00:31:30,914 [SOOKIE WHOOPING] 548 00:31:33,965 --> 00:31:36,314 I knew it! I found it! 549 00:31:36,502 --> 00:31:38,216 -You found what? -I found his bill! 550 00:31:38,375 --> 00:31:39,455 What are you talking about? 551 00:31:39,539 --> 00:31:42,445 It wasn't the risotto, it was the wine. He ordered the wrong wine! 552 00:31:42,659 --> 00:31:43,692 Great. 553 00:31:43,824 --> 00:31:46,253 In the review, he mentioned a summer tomato salad... 554 00:31:46,445 --> 00:31:48,510 which I only made once in the last three weeks... 555 00:31:48,692 --> 00:31:51,960 because Jackson decides to get in a fistfight with his tomato grower... 556 00:31:52,186 --> 00:31:55,170 -Okay, that's a different story. -Yes. Save it for Christmastime. 557 00:31:55,389 --> 00:31:58,135 Brian, the goateed waiter, only worked one shift last week... 558 00:31:58,343 --> 00:32:00,583 because his girlfriend kicked him out and he had to move. 559 00:32:00,631 --> 00:32:02,458 -Celia kicked him out? -He didn't want kids. 560 00:32:02,628 --> 00:32:05,350 -She knew that when they moved in. -Women think they can change men. 561 00:32:05,374 --> 00:32:06,374 Yeah. 562 00:32:06,497 --> 00:32:08,846 So, I checked the dates, and narrowed the day down... 563 00:32:09,034 --> 00:32:12,223 and found a party that had ordered practically everything including... 564 00:32:12,445 --> 00:32:13,470 The magic risotto. 565 00:32:13,494 --> 00:32:15,906 Yes, the risotto and a Riesling. A Riesling! 566 00:32:16,148 --> 00:32:17,623 Why not drink battery acid? 567 00:32:17,770 --> 00:32:20,404 Exactly. Changes the entire flavor of the dish. 568 00:32:20,599 --> 00:32:21,879 The fact that Brian served it... 569 00:32:22,013 --> 00:32:24,045 makes me think Celia is better off without him. 570 00:32:24,219 --> 00:32:25,489 I'm so glad, hon. 571 00:32:28,420 --> 00:32:30,849 Okay. Here are the zucchini. 572 00:32:33,038 --> 00:32:34,944 Too small. Take them away. 573 00:32:38,529 --> 00:32:41,479 -It's good to have her back, huh? -Yeah. 574 00:32:42,938 --> 00:32:45,571 You're still gonna have to pay for the zucchini. 575 00:32:46,474 --> 00:32:50,253 There's a man with a funny accent on the phone, asking for you. 576 00:32:50,593 --> 00:32:53,703 Really? Did you guys exchange the secret handshake? 577 00:32:56,375 --> 00:32:57,375 Lorelai here. 578 00:32:59,163 --> 00:33:01,115 Rory, what happened? 579 00:33:01,285 --> 00:33:03,350 -I got hit by a deer. -You got what? 580 00:33:03,531 --> 00:33:05,994 Then I was late, and they wouldn't let me take the test. 581 00:33:06,193 --> 00:33:08,033 -What? -They wouldn't let me take the test... 582 00:33:08,149 --> 00:33:10,101 -No, you're kidding me. -Mom... 583 00:33:10,270 --> 00:33:13,493 No, it's okay. Just sit right here. I'll handle this. 584 00:33:21,294 --> 00:33:22,361 Excuse me. Hello. 585 00:33:22,501 --> 00:33:24,725 -Ms. Gilmore. Please come in. -Thank you. 586 00:33:24,955 --> 00:33:26,068 Have a seat. 587 00:33:26,910 --> 00:33:29,498 I think there's been a terrible mistake. 588 00:33:30,072 --> 00:33:33,341 Rory told me that she wasn't allowed to take her test. 589 00:33:33,816 --> 00:33:35,848 -She was late. -Right, well... 590 00:33:36,021 --> 00:33:38,131 see, there were circumstances beyond her control. 591 00:33:38,309 --> 00:33:41,101 Rory is never late. She's almost annoyingly on time. 592 00:33:41,304 --> 00:33:42,504 If you checked your records... 593 00:33:42,552 --> 00:33:45,616 Past performance has nothing to do with today's situation. 594 00:33:45,880 --> 00:33:48,706 Okay. But see, she was up all night studying. 595 00:33:48,917 --> 00:33:50,551 I was there. She has a witness. 596 00:33:50,706 --> 00:33:53,611 -She's not on trial here. -Well, Your Honor... 597 00:33:55,115 --> 00:33:57,861 Just a little trial humor. That won't happen again. 598 00:33:58,070 --> 00:34:00,452 She got up late. She broke her neck to get here. 599 00:34:00,649 --> 00:34:01,999 We don't live locally as you... 600 00:34:02,146 --> 00:34:04,178 -The dog ate my homework. -Excuse me? 601 00:34:04,351 --> 00:34:06,496 My computer crashed, and I lost my midterm. 602 00:34:06,680 --> 00:34:07,826 I wasn't making excuses. 603 00:34:07,970 --> 00:34:09,763 My grandmother and first cousin died. 604 00:34:09,925 --> 00:34:12,388 My sister took my report to school instead of hers. 605 00:34:12,588 --> 00:34:15,096 My religion prohibits studying after sundown. 606 00:34:15,292 --> 00:34:18,004 I went blind last night, but I'm fine now. 607 00:34:18,329 --> 00:34:19,600 That's not Rory. 608 00:34:21,033 --> 00:34:22,588 Rules are rules. 609 00:34:22,739 --> 00:34:26,166 When you're late, you forfeit the right to take the test. 610 00:34:26,608 --> 00:34:28,991 Where are you going? Where is he going? 611 00:34:29,186 --> 00:34:31,649 Please, believe me, if I could do anything, I would. 612 00:34:31,849 --> 00:34:33,801 -You could let her take the test. -I can't. 613 00:34:33,971 --> 00:34:35,003 That's not fair. 614 00:34:35,136 --> 00:34:37,643 We're not here to be fair. We're here to educate. 615 00:34:37,840 --> 00:34:40,824 Yes, and I'm asking you to please educate my kid. 616 00:34:41,042 --> 00:34:43,028 We will when she's on time. 617 00:34:44,288 --> 00:34:45,559 Have a nice day. 618 00:34:45,702 --> 00:34:47,768 Are you holding that door open for a reason? 619 00:34:47,948 --> 00:34:50,139 -Our meeting is over. -Like hell it is. 620 00:34:50,944 --> 00:34:54,371 Do you have any idea what we have gone through this week? 621 00:34:54,646 --> 00:34:58,073 We have been up all night every night, studying. We haven't slept. 622 00:34:58,307 --> 00:34:59,940 We haven't talked about anything else... 623 00:35:00,096 --> 00:35:02,525 except this school and this test for seven days. 624 00:35:02,716 --> 00:35:05,667 We have stretched ourselves as thin as humanly possible... 625 00:35:05,878 --> 00:35:09,305 without going completely postal. My God! We're just one person! 626 00:35:09,540 --> 00:35:12,445 Why don't we narrow our field of conversation down to Rory? 627 00:35:12,659 --> 00:35:13,930 Okay. Why don't we? 628 00:35:14,074 --> 00:35:16,026 You sit here in your snotty little school... 629 00:35:16,195 --> 00:35:18,181 in desperate need of some extra heating vents... 630 00:35:18,359 --> 00:35:21,581 and you nurture horrible kids who treat each other like mortal enemies. 631 00:35:21,812 --> 00:35:23,321 You set impossible standards... 632 00:35:23,475 --> 00:35:25,779 that make normal people feel less than everybody else. 633 00:35:25,971 --> 00:35:28,434 You take a great kid like Rory and tear her apart! 634 00:35:28,634 --> 00:35:30,268 I don't think that's completely fair. 635 00:35:30,422 --> 00:35:32,408 You say she's smart and she'll do fine. 636 00:35:32,586 --> 00:35:35,730 And this rotting, stodgy rat hole could use somebody like her. 637 00:35:35,955 --> 00:35:39,019 Then you completely shut her out of a test that she's crammed for... 638 00:35:39,242 --> 00:35:40,797 that she completely deserves to take! 639 00:35:40,947 --> 00:35:43,898 -I didn't call this place a rat hole. -That's true. I added that. 640 00:35:44,109 --> 00:35:46,572 Wouldn't want you to get in trouble with Il Duce here. 641 00:35:46,772 --> 00:35:48,758 I thought this place was gonna be so great. 642 00:35:48,934 --> 00:35:51,726 And now, I guess this goes on the "Boy, was I wrong" list... 643 00:35:51,930 --> 00:35:54,755 right above gauchos but just below the Flashdance phase. 644 00:35:54,967 --> 00:35:57,396 My goodness, you do like to throw fits in your family. 645 00:35:57,588 --> 00:35:58,700 What are you talking about? 646 00:35:58,836 --> 00:36:02,535 Your daughter threw a similar, if not as manic fit of her own this morning. 647 00:36:02,788 --> 00:36:05,012 Please. Rory doesn't throw fits. 648 00:36:05,367 --> 00:36:07,637 She's the most even-tempered person I know. 649 00:36:07,822 --> 00:36:10,012 Well, then, she did a lovely impression of you. 650 00:36:10,192 --> 00:36:13,653 Everything you said in your rant was absolutely true... 651 00:36:13,895 --> 00:36:16,324 without the colorful embellishments, of course. 652 00:36:16,516 --> 00:36:18,582 We do set impossible standards... 653 00:36:18,762 --> 00:36:21,429 and such standards do foster highly competitive children. 654 00:36:21,633 --> 00:36:24,822 However, that is life, and that is Chilton. 655 00:36:25,294 --> 00:36:27,360 Rules can change. You can change them. 656 00:36:27,540 --> 00:36:30,923 I told your daughter when she came here, this place was not for everyone... 657 00:36:31,159 --> 00:36:34,348 and might not be for her. I will now tell you the same thing. 658 00:36:34,737 --> 00:36:36,326 She doesn't have to be here. 659 00:36:36,484 --> 00:36:39,390 She doesn't have to go to Harvard. Maybe she shouldn't. 660 00:36:39,813 --> 00:36:42,559 If she can't handle the pressure, she should leave. 661 00:36:43,015 --> 00:36:46,681 You need to take your daughter home now and decide what it is you intend to do. 662 00:36:46,926 --> 00:36:50,309 However, another outburst like this from either of you... 663 00:36:50,546 --> 00:36:52,736 will not be on the options list. 664 00:36:52,917 --> 00:36:54,789 Thank you for coming in. 665 00:36:55,579 --> 00:36:57,134 That will be all. 666 00:37:04,524 --> 00:37:06,317 You got hit by a deer? 667 00:37:10,014 --> 00:37:12,568 You did. You got hit by a deer. 668 00:37:12,885 --> 00:37:14,633 It just came out of nowhere. 669 00:37:14,799 --> 00:37:17,182 You couldn't just run into a wall like other kids? 670 00:37:17,377 --> 00:37:20,487 -Can we just go home, please? -Yeah, sure. Jump in. 671 00:37:30,732 --> 00:37:32,445 -May I help you? -Yes. 672 00:37:33,519 --> 00:37:37,026 Hello. My name is Sookie St. James. I'm the chef at the Independence Inn. 673 00:37:37,263 --> 00:37:39,726 -I know who you are. -You do? 674 00:37:40,632 --> 00:37:43,980 Well, I'm flattered. You write about a lot of chefs... 675 00:37:44,210 --> 00:37:46,162 -What are you doing here? -Right. 676 00:37:46,623 --> 00:37:49,653 I know that this is a terrible intrusion, but... 677 00:37:50,035 --> 00:37:52,464 -Are you cooking? -I'm making chicken. 678 00:37:52,655 --> 00:37:54,687 -You used too much salt. -I did not. 679 00:37:54,860 --> 00:37:56,006 It smells salty. 680 00:37:56,150 --> 00:37:57,897 -I'm closing the door now. -No, wait. 681 00:37:58,063 --> 00:38:00,775 I found out your address from my network of culinary friends... 682 00:38:00,975 --> 00:38:04,164 This is really inappropriate. I gave you a good review. 683 00:38:04,387 --> 00:38:06,020 I suggest you go home. 684 00:38:06,175 --> 00:38:08,479 I don't care about the review. I just... 685 00:38:08,672 --> 00:38:10,976 I want you to try this dish... 686 00:38:12,416 --> 00:38:13,891 with this wine. 687 00:38:14,953 --> 00:38:16,224 I'll wait. 688 00:38:21,734 --> 00:38:25,354 -Quite a day, huh? -I don't want to talk. Please. 689 00:38:26,227 --> 00:38:27,294 Okay. 690 00:38:28,057 --> 00:38:30,168 I just think we should talk about it. 691 00:38:30,345 --> 00:38:31,491 -Stop the car. -What? 692 00:38:31,635 --> 00:38:33,144 Here. Stop here. 693 00:38:34,048 --> 00:38:36,397 You're just feeling like an impromptu nature walk? 694 00:38:36,585 --> 00:38:37,785 I wanna see if it's all right. 695 00:38:37,875 --> 00:38:39,941 -If what's all right? -The deer. 696 00:38:40,121 --> 00:38:42,833 -You're never gonna find the deer! -I'm gonna try. 697 00:38:43,034 --> 00:38:44,940 -I'm in heels. -Stay in the car. 698 00:38:45,113 --> 00:38:47,905 It's dangerous in the car with the kamikaze deer running around. 699 00:38:48,108 --> 00:38:49,697 I have to find it. 700 00:38:49,898 --> 00:38:51,691 All right. Wait up! 701 00:38:52,893 --> 00:38:54,640 So what does the deer look like? 702 00:38:54,806 --> 00:38:56,758 Does he have any distinguishing marks... 703 00:38:56,929 --> 00:38:59,482 besides the word "jeep" imprinted on his forehead? 704 00:38:59,673 --> 00:39:01,228 He's just a deer. 705 00:39:03,667 --> 00:39:06,936 So I had a nice chat with Headmaster Charleston today. 706 00:39:07,162 --> 00:39:09,545 He said you went ballistic in class. 707 00:39:09,741 --> 00:39:11,296 I was just tired. 708 00:39:11,572 --> 00:39:14,840 You wouldn't have been tired had you not been killing yourself all week. 709 00:39:15,066 --> 00:39:16,813 I was studying. I didn't have a choice. 710 00:39:16,980 --> 00:39:19,045 Maybe you shouldn't be studying that hard. 711 00:39:19,226 --> 00:39:21,496 -What are you talking about? -You're 16. 712 00:39:21,889 --> 00:39:24,079 You should get some sleep and eat a real meal... 713 00:39:24,260 --> 00:39:26,325 and come up for air once in a while. 714 00:39:26,714 --> 00:39:27,827 They kicked me out. 715 00:39:27,962 --> 00:39:31,309 No. Of course not. They love you. This is coming from me. 716 00:39:31,540 --> 00:39:33,015 Are you saying I should quit? 717 00:39:33,163 --> 00:39:36,273 I'm saying, if you wanted to go back to your other school with Lane... 718 00:39:36,490 --> 00:39:38,283 that would be fine with me. 719 00:39:38,446 --> 00:39:40,954 -You don't think I can do it. -You know that's not true. 720 00:39:41,150 --> 00:39:43,783 I think you can do anything. But you don't lose it in class. 721 00:39:43,979 --> 00:39:46,362 That's not part of the Rory personality description. 722 00:39:46,558 --> 00:39:47,988 If you're losing it in class... 723 00:39:48,139 --> 00:39:50,646 because you're tired, stressed out, or working too hard... 724 00:39:50,843 --> 00:39:53,306 I'm worried about that. I have to be. 725 00:39:53,672 --> 00:39:56,940 -I lost it once. -Okay. Fine. 726 00:39:59,911 --> 00:40:02,862 It's just I can't remember a time... 727 00:40:03,073 --> 00:40:05,706 when we weren't talking about you going to Harvard. 728 00:40:05,902 --> 00:40:08,409 It was just a given. That was what we were working for. 729 00:40:08,606 --> 00:40:11,239 -Everything went in that direction. -I know. 730 00:40:11,435 --> 00:40:14,147 And I'm forgetting where that all started. 731 00:40:14,846 --> 00:40:17,036 -What are you talking about? -I'm talking about... 732 00:40:17,218 --> 00:40:19,283 did it start with me or did it start with you? 733 00:40:19,464 --> 00:40:21,450 Was it my dream that you went to Harvard? 734 00:40:21,627 --> 00:40:22,694 Mom. 735 00:40:22,833 --> 00:40:26,135 Because I never got to do the big, fancy college thing. 736 00:40:26,661 --> 00:40:29,248 Maybe all this time I'm thinking it's all for Rory... 737 00:40:29,448 --> 00:40:31,241 when really it wasn't. 738 00:40:31,985 --> 00:40:34,970 -I'm not doing this because of you. -If you are, you don't have to. 739 00:40:35,189 --> 00:40:37,061 -I know that. -I'll still love you... 740 00:40:37,227 --> 00:40:39,054 even if you can't support me in my old age... 741 00:40:39,224 --> 00:40:41,891 in the fabulous manner to which I plan on growing accustomed. 742 00:40:42,094 --> 00:40:45,124 I'll remember that selfless gesture. Thank you. 743 00:40:45,464 --> 00:40:47,609 -I just want you to be happy. -I am. 744 00:40:47,793 --> 00:40:49,064 No, I want you to be... 745 00:40:49,208 --> 00:40:51,999 dancing-through-the-woods-crazy happy. 746 00:40:52,203 --> 00:40:54,756 If Harvard and Chilton is not gonna do that for you... 747 00:40:54,949 --> 00:40:56,220 then forget about them. 748 00:40:56,363 --> 00:40:57,714 I was just behind. 749 00:40:57,903 --> 00:41:01,524 I never caught up on all the reading. That's why I got a D. 750 00:41:02,022 --> 00:41:05,846 I can catch up. I will catch up. And when I do, everything will be fine. 751 00:41:06,098 --> 00:41:07,165 Rory. 752 00:41:07,721 --> 00:41:09,593 No. Harvard is my dream. 753 00:41:10,258 --> 00:41:13,130 -I want it more than anything. I swear. -Yeah, but... 754 00:41:13,336 --> 00:41:16,003 I appreciate all that you're saying. I do. 755 00:41:16,249 --> 00:41:18,995 But I'm not ready to give up on Chilton yet. 756 00:41:20,034 --> 00:41:21,350 Fair enough. 757 00:41:21,948 --> 00:41:24,740 I do, however, reserve the right to change my mind. 758 00:41:24,985 --> 00:41:28,287 That's your prerogative, as long as you remain a woman. 759 00:41:29,561 --> 00:41:31,150 -Thanks, though. -For what? 760 00:41:31,516 --> 00:41:33,706 For yelling at the headmaster the way you did. 761 00:41:33,887 --> 00:41:35,793 I didn't yell at him. 762 00:41:36,050 --> 00:41:37,605 You called him Il Duce. 763 00:41:37,756 --> 00:41:40,661 Which means "kind sir" in Cantonese. 764 00:41:41,750 --> 00:41:43,781 -Thank you. -You're welcome. 765 00:41:44,578 --> 00:41:47,245 How much longer are we gonna look for this crazy deer? 766 00:41:47,449 --> 00:41:48,958 Just a little further. 767 00:41:49,363 --> 00:41:52,984 -I just hope he didn't hurt himself. -I just hope he has insurance. 768 00:41:54,687 --> 00:41:57,479 Go get that plaid skirt off and grab your books. 769 00:41:57,682 --> 00:41:58,908 We're going to Luke's. 770 00:41:59,056 --> 00:42:02,642 -Don't you have to get back to work? -They can last a little longer without me. 771 00:42:02,883 --> 00:42:05,232 Plus Michel gets so cute when he feels he's overworked. 772 00:42:05,420 --> 00:42:07,565 His ears puff out, his nostrils flare. It's big fun. 773 00:42:07,750 --> 00:42:08,750 -Go. -I'm gone. 774 00:42:08,873 --> 00:42:10,462 [TELEPHONE RINGING] 775 00:42:14,365 --> 00:42:17,588 It's us. We're not here. We have a life. Get over it. 776 00:42:18,400 --> 00:42:21,782 Hi. This is a message for Rory. It's Max Medina calling. 777 00:42:22,019 --> 00:42:24,686 I just wanted to say I talked to Headmaster Charleston... 778 00:42:24,890 --> 00:42:28,589 or Il Duce, as he's more affectionately known in the Gilmore household... 779 00:42:28,842 --> 00:42:31,146 and he's agreed to let you do some extra credit work... 780 00:42:31,338 --> 00:42:33,483 to help make up for the missed test today. 781 00:42:33,667 --> 00:42:36,379 Now, I'm not sure what the extra credit work is yet... 782 00:42:36,580 --> 00:42:40,200 but it probably will be time-consuming and extremely painful. 783 00:42:40,781 --> 00:42:44,729 It will, however, get you back up to where I think you rightly belong, Rory. 784 00:42:45,190 --> 00:42:47,460 Don't lose heart. Make this work. 785 00:42:48,519 --> 00:42:50,312 And if your mother's listening... 786 00:42:50,474 --> 00:42:53,107 Lorelai, it was a pleasure encountering you. 787 00:42:53,303 --> 00:42:55,175 I hope it happens again. 788 00:42:55,508 --> 00:42:57,618 Anyway, see you in class. Bye.