1
00:00:00,657 --> 00:00:02,597
Previously on
"Gilmore Girls"...

2
00:00:02,607 --> 00:00:04,960
I asked you to marry me.
And you said, "yes."

3
00:00:04,970 --> 00:00:06,733
- Just wait!
- It's now or never.

4
00:00:06,743 --> 00:00:08,688
I gave him an ultimatum.
And he said, "no."

5
00:00:08,698 --> 00:00:10,201
I can't wait to come
see you, Logan.

6
00:00:10,211 --> 00:00:11,871
Tell your mom you're not
gonna be home for Christmas.

7
00:00:11,901 --> 00:00:12,888
Christmas?

8
00:00:12,898 --> 00:00:13,966
It's over.

9
00:00:13,976 --> 00:00:15,876
You can't just decide
that it's over.

10
00:00:15,888 --> 00:00:18,390
I'm in this, too, you know.
And I'm not gonna let it be over.

11
00:00:18,402 --> 00:00:21,623
You said, "be ready now or never."
I'm ready now.

12
00:00:21,639 --> 00:00:23,680
I slept with Christopher.

13
00:02:42,337 --> 00:02:43,233
Morning, Rory.

14
00:02:43,249 --> 00:02:45,101
Please tell me you haven't
been standing there all night.

15
00:02:45,137 --> 00:02:46,271
I love you Rory.

16
00:02:46,287 --> 00:02:47,423
Creepy.


17
00:02:47,436 --> 00:02:49,832
- Ooh, waffles?
- Yes, I got up early this morning

18
00:02:49,848 --> 00:02:51,631
and I thought,
"what better way to pass time

19
00:02:51,645 --> 00:02:55,571
than make some of my
famous homemade waffles?"

20
00:02:55,586 --> 00:02:57,392
I can't believe I forgot
about your homemade waffles,

21
00:02:57,425 --> 00:02:58,590
seeing how famous they are.

22
00:02:58,608 --> 00:03:00,100
Infamous, really.

23
00:03:00,118 --> 00:03:01,392
So why'd you get up so early?

24
00:03:01,405 --> 00:03:02,910
Mm, well, couldn't sleep.

25
00:03:02,925 --> 00:03:05,060
And, initially,
I was at a loss.

26
00:03:05,076 --> 00:03:08,213
I mean, how would I pass the time
until my one and only offspring,

27
00:03:08,225 --> 00:03:10,623
- the fruit of my loins --
- Too early.

28
00:03:10,637 --> 00:03:12,450
...loin fruit that she is,

29
00:03:12,465 --> 00:03:15,181
straggled out of bed to
grace me with her presence?

30
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:19,620
But then I asked
myself, "W.W.T.B.F.C.D.?"

31
00:03:19,638 --> 00:03:21,462
And it came to me in a flash.

32
00:03:21,478 --> 00:03:22,653
"I'm gonna make waffles."

33
00:03:22,665 --> 00:03:24,040
"What would the
barefoot contessa do?"

34
00:03:24,075 --> 00:03:25,080
Exactly.

35
00:03:25,095 --> 00:03:26,132
Barefoot's one word.

36
00:03:26,145 --> 00:03:27,401
Shut up, loin fruit.

37
00:03:27,415 --> 00:03:29,372
So, what? Are you just sleepy

38
00:03:29,388 --> 00:03:33,432
or has last night's "my boyfriend gave
me a love rocket" elation worn off?

39
00:03:33,448 --> 00:03:35,402
It may have worn
off a little bit.

40
00:03:35,417 --> 00:03:36,793
Why? What happened?

41
00:03:36,808 --> 00:03:39,582
The love rocket was making you
swoon for Logan last night.

42
00:03:39,595 --> 00:03:40,941
I'm still plenty swoony.

43
00:03:40,955 --> 00:03:43,803
I just realized that
the rocket doesn't mean

44
00:03:43,816 --> 00:03:45,820
I should be packing
my bags for London.

45
00:03:45,835 --> 00:03:47,180
Why? What happened?

46
00:03:47,197 --> 00:03:49,500
Nothing happend.
I just called Logan, and I was like,

47
00:03:49,515 --> 00:03:51,861
"yeah, yeah.
Oh, I love the love rocket, you know?

48
00:03:51,877 --> 00:03:52,993
And I can't wait
to come see you."

49
00:03:53,025 --> 00:03:55,150
And he was like,
"oh, yeah, me too.

50
00:03:55,168 --> 00:03:57,451
Um, I'm gonna buy you
a ticket for december."

51
00:03:57,465 --> 00:04:00,323
Oh, no. Did you tell him
you want to visit him now?

52
00:04:00,335 --> 00:04:02,930
There wasn't really a point,
you know, because I get it.

53
00:04:02,948 --> 00:04:05,113
He is starting his
first real job.

54
00:04:05,126 --> 00:04:08,823
I mean,
he needs time to adjust and focus

55
00:04:08,837 --> 00:04:10,281
and learn the lay of the land.

56
00:04:10,297 --> 00:04:12,553
I mean, it's good that he's trying
to be a grown-up, you know.

57
00:04:12,588 --> 00:04:14,990
So now I'm trying
to be a grown-up.

58
00:04:15,007 --> 00:04:18,510
So why am I gonna get all pouty
because I don't get to do it?

59
00:04:18,528 --> 00:04:19,631
Hmm.

60
00:04:19,645 --> 00:04:22,252
Well, that sounds like
a real grown-up talking.

61
00:04:22,266 --> 00:04:23,033
Thank you.

62
00:04:23,047 --> 00:04:25,343
You know the one thing that
grown-ups don't call themselves?

63
00:04:25,378 --> 00:04:26,232
What?

64
00:04:26,245 --> 00:04:27,523
Grown-ups.

65
00:04:27,538 --> 00:04:30,881
They say "adults," And they
pronounce it "ah-dults."

66
00:04:30,897 --> 00:04:33,181
- It stinks!
- Oh, it really stinks.

67
00:04:33,195 --> 00:04:34,242
Stupid London!

68
00:04:34,255 --> 00:04:37,100
If he weren't in London right now,
we would be on our Asia trip.

69
00:04:37,118 --> 00:04:40,123
I mean, I knew that it might not happen,
but I hoped it would,

70
00:04:40,136 --> 00:04:43,583
and I just kept planning
and planning and planning.

71
00:04:45,955 --> 00:04:49,713
Wow. Were you planning on
visiting Asia or invading it?

72
00:04:49,726 --> 00:04:51,161
Look at all this wasted effort.

73
00:04:51,175 --> 00:04:52,831
All this highlighter
ink? Wasted.

74
00:04:52,848 --> 00:04:54,782
All of these sticky
notes? Wasted.

75
00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:57,571
We were going to see the
terra-cotta soldiers in Xian.

76
00:04:57,585 --> 00:05:00,433
And we were going to go to Peking
for the opera and the duck.

77
00:05:00,446 --> 00:05:04,423
I want to see Tibet. I want to snorkel
off the an thoi islands in Vietnam.

78
00:05:04,436 --> 00:05:08,623
I want to see the crazy teenage fashions
in the harajuku district of Tokyo.

79
00:05:08,635 --> 00:05:10,162
Oh, wow.

80
00:05:10,178 --> 00:05:11,571
Stupid London!

81
00:05:11,586 --> 00:05:14,013
- So, no Asia?
- No Asia.

82
00:05:14,028 --> 00:05:16,581
Well, I guess I got
to go to stupid work.

83
00:05:17,076 --> 00:05:18,773
Here's one good piece
of news, though.

84
00:05:18,786 --> 00:05:20,350
Lane called.
She's back from her honeymoon.

85
00:05:20,386 --> 00:05:21,890
- Oh, yay!
- Yeah.

86
00:05:21,905 --> 00:05:24,370
She sounded kind of tired,
which is good, I think.

87
00:05:24,387 --> 00:05:26,443
Tired after a
honeymoon bodes well.

88
00:05:26,458 --> 00:05:28,913
My married friend Lane and
her married husband Zach.

89
00:05:28,925 --> 00:05:30,001
Nutso.

90
00:05:30,018 --> 00:05:32,200
Hmm. Spoken like
a true grown-up.

91
00:05:32,325 --> 00:05:34,002
Say "hey" to her for me.


92
00:05:34,015 --> 00:05:35,200
It's nice to have you home.

93
00:05:35,215 --> 00:05:36,752
Bye.

94
00:05:50,446 --> 00:05:51,840
Morning, Luke.

95
00:05:52,307 --> 00:05:54,130
- You need a hand with this?
- Thanks.

96
00:05:54,145 --> 00:05:55,382
Sure thing.

97
00:05:55,395 --> 00:05:58,800
Just give me one second
to savor this coffee.

98
00:06:01,045 --> 00:06:02,803
So, how are you this
lovely morning?

99
00:06:02,815 --> 00:06:04,211
Just fine.

100
00:06:04,405 --> 00:06:06,812
- Hey, I got a coffee for you, too.
- Thanks.

101
00:06:06,828 --> 00:06:09,733
But then, as it became clear that
you were most likely gonna be late,

102
00:06:09,747 --> 00:06:12,670
I didn't want it to get cold,
so I drank it myself.

103
00:06:12,686 --> 00:06:13,963
I wasn't late.

104
00:06:13,978 --> 00:06:15,020
Who said you were late?

105
00:06:15,037 --> 00:06:16,321
You did, one second ago.

106
00:06:16,336 --> 00:06:18,892
Oh, no, I said you were
mostly likely gonna be late,

107
00:06:18,908 --> 00:06:21,201
but it turns out you weren't.
Who knew?

108
00:06:21,216 --> 00:06:23,401
Sounds like you need a little caffeine,
my friend.

109
00:06:23,417 --> 00:06:25,812
What say you and I go over to
the diner across the street

110
00:06:25,825 --> 00:06:27,981
and pick us up a
nice cup of coffee?

111
00:06:27,996 --> 00:06:29,601
Forget it. I'm fine.

112
00:06:29,807 --> 00:06:31,232
What diner across the street?

113
00:06:31,245 --> 00:06:33,403
This place --
Kirk's. Great place.

114
00:06:33,417 --> 00:06:35,861
The owner's a real character.
And the coffee's fantastic.

115
00:06:35,876 --> 00:06:37,232
Come on, let me get you a cup,

116
00:06:37,245 --> 00:06:41,263
though maybe you ought to pay, seeing
as I did pick us up the last round.

117
00:06:42,008 --> 00:06:45,113
Eggs sunny side up
with a side of bacon.

118
00:06:45,128 --> 00:06:48,451
And who's got the
scrambled with hashbrowns?

119
00:06:48,467 --> 00:06:49,861
Here we go.

120
00:06:49,876 --> 00:06:51,711
What the hell is going on here?

121
00:06:51,726 --> 00:06:53,501
Welcome to Kirk's.
I'll be right with you.

122
00:06:53,518 --> 00:06:54,662
What is this?

123
00:06:54,676 --> 00:06:55,773
It's a diner, Luke.

124
00:06:55,787 --> 00:06:57,070
A diner called Kirk's?

125
00:06:57,086 --> 00:06:58,730
It's the name my
mother gave me.

126
00:06:58,805 --> 00:07:00,162
Top you off there, Jake?

127
00:07:00,177 --> 00:07:01,553
Why are you doing this?

128
00:07:01,566 --> 00:07:03,433
I just saw a need,
and I filled it.

129
00:07:03,447 --> 00:07:06,680
Seemed to me Stars Hollow was in
want of a real neighborhood joint,

130
00:07:06,695 --> 00:07:09,012
a watering hole where the
townsfolk could mingle,

131
00:07:09,025 --> 00:07:13,092
a place where a fella could come and
get a piece of pie, a cup of arbuckles',

132
00:07:13,108 --> 00:07:15,152
and a soupcon of
small-town charm.

133
00:07:15,167 --> 00:07:17,453
Yeah, well,
Stars Hollow has already got that place.

134
00:07:17,465 --> 00:07:18,960
It's right across the street.

135
00:07:18,975 --> 00:07:20,971
It's called Luke's.
Luke's. Ring any bells?

136
00:07:20,987 --> 00:07:22,521
Sounds a little like Kirk's,
doesn't it?

137
00:07:22,557 --> 00:07:24,743
Luke, if you are suggesting that
you were the very first person

138
00:07:24,776 --> 00:07:27,190
to ever think of naming a
restaurant after yourself,

139
00:07:27,206 --> 00:07:30,050
I think that Denny Arby,
and Tony Roma

140
00:07:30,065 --> 00:07:31,550
might have something
to say about that,

141
00:07:31,588 --> 00:07:33,842
not to mention Mr.
Chuck E. Cheese.

142
00:07:33,855 --> 00:07:35,670
Chuck E. Cheese... Chuck E.
Cheese is not a person.

143
00:07:35,706 --> 00:07:39,190
Luke, do you think a giant mouse opened
a national restaurant franchise by himself?

144
00:07:39,202 --> 00:07:42,483
Look at this -- french toast,
pancakes, buttermilk pancakes.

145
00:07:42,499 --> 00:07:43,920
You stole my menu.

146
00:07:43,937 --> 00:07:46,133
You did not invent
pancakes, Luke.

147
00:07:46,149 --> 00:07:47,761
Anyway, I heard Luke's
went out of business.

148
00:07:47,795 --> 00:07:50,232
Luke's did not go out of business.
Luke's is closed for repairs.

149
00:07:50,265 --> 00:07:51,443
And you want to know
why it's closed?

150
00:07:51,477 --> 00:07:55,633
Because some nincompoop yesterday
drove his car through my diner!

151
00:07:56,026 --> 00:07:58,510
Would you care to step
outside for a moment, Luke?

152
00:07:58,525 --> 00:08:00,722
Outside? Outside what?

153
00:08:05,086 --> 00:08:07,700
I think it would behoove you
not to use slanderous language

154
00:08:07,716 --> 00:08:10,283
like nincompoop in my
place of business, Luke,

155
00:08:10,297 --> 00:08:13,430
because, let me tell you, it is only
out of the kindness of my heart

156
00:08:13,448 --> 00:08:15,980
that I am not suing
the pants off of you.

157
00:08:15,997 --> 00:08:19,762
You're gonna sue me after
you crash a car into my diner

158
00:08:19,776 --> 00:08:22,032
and bust a giant
hole in my wall?

159
00:08:22,045 --> 00:08:23,640
For all you know,
I could have brain damage.

160
00:08:23,676 --> 00:08:25,182
Oh, I'm pretty sure you do.

161
00:08:25,195 --> 00:08:27,452
You know what, Kirk?
Go ahead. Sue me.

162
00:08:27,465 --> 00:08:30,092
Crash into my diner,
make me lose a week's business,

163
00:08:30,106 --> 00:08:33,011
make me pay for the repairs,
and then sue me for damages --

164
00:08:33,026 --> 00:08:35,043
for brain damages!
That sounds fair.

165
00:08:35,055 --> 00:08:37,651
Luke, calm down.
I get where you're coming from.

166
00:08:37,668 --> 00:08:39,570
I think we can work
something out.

167
00:08:42,665 --> 00:08:43,813
What is this?

168
00:08:43,826 --> 00:08:45,231
A job application.

169
00:08:45,247 --> 00:08:48,562
The way business is picking up,
I'm totally gonna need a fry guy.

170
00:08:48,857 --> 00:08:51,343
What, it sounded like your
finances were kind of tight.

171
00:08:51,357 --> 00:08:53,791
If you came expecting a handout,
you came to the wrong guy.

172
00:08:53,808 --> 00:08:56,370
I'm of the "teach a man
to fish" school, Luke.

173
00:09:01,096 --> 00:09:03,713
You do not throw trash on the
floor of a restaurant, Luke.

174
00:09:03,725 --> 00:09:05,101
Not cool.

175
00:09:05,728 --> 00:09:09,311
Okay, this is easy.
You put in your snow crab.

176
00:09:09,327 --> 00:09:13,001
You put in your avocado.
You put in your cucumber.

177
00:09:13,017 --> 00:09:15,112
You match it together.

178
00:09:15,125 --> 00:09:17,801
And then you just roll it up.

179
00:09:17,818 --> 00:09:21,870
Slice it up like this,
and voilà.

180
00:09:21,885 --> 00:09:23,762
Or whatever they say in Japan.

181
00:09:23,777 --> 00:09:25,721
- Arigato.
- Karate.

182
00:09:25,738 --> 00:09:29,322
Look, it's those little coin shapes,
just like in a japanese restaurant.

183
00:09:29,338 --> 00:09:31,002
Arigato karate, babe.

184
00:09:31,017 --> 00:09:32,853
Yep. Okay.

185
00:09:32,865 --> 00:09:34,783
I'm gonna make one
more California roll,

186
00:09:34,796 --> 00:09:36,982
and then we can make your
meat-loaf sushi as promised.

187
00:09:36,997 --> 00:09:39,472
Yay! Do you want to put
suntan lotion in there?

188
00:09:39,486 --> 00:09:42,863
Did you just say sun--
Oh! Of course.

189
00:09:42,877 --> 00:09:47,320
Because a California roll would
have some suntan lotion in it.

190
00:09:47,336 --> 00:09:49,421
You're such a pity laugher.
Mmm! Good!

191
00:09:49,436 --> 00:09:51,311
- Good?
- So good!

192
00:09:51,325 --> 00:09:54,460
It's the best non-meat-loaf
sushi I've ever had.

193
00:09:54,477 --> 00:09:56,680
Ooh! What about
fried-chicken sushi?

194
00:09:56,697 --> 00:09:58,803
With some slaw in it.
That would be so good.

195
00:09:58,815 --> 00:10:02,642
Or chinese-food sushi.
Or P.B.-and-J. sushi.

196
00:10:02,658 --> 00:10:04,062
Or, hey, dessert sushi.

197
00:10:04,076 --> 00:10:06,712
Oh, my god, that's genius.
That is why you are the chef.

198
00:10:06,725 --> 00:10:08,840
That and because you're
the one who can cook.

199
00:10:09,738 --> 00:10:11,341
So, um...

200
00:10:11,676 --> 00:10:13,762
Hey, um...

201

00:10:15,002 --> 00:10:17,025
So I-I told him.

202
00:10:17,976 --> 00:10:19,641
Told who what?

203
00:10:19,787 --> 00:10:22,113
- Telling him that?
- Yeah.

204
00:10:22,128 --> 00:10:24,483
Are you saying you told
Luke about Christopher?

205
00:10:24,495 --> 00:10:26,400
Yes. What did you think
I was talking about?

206
00:10:26,415 --> 00:10:27,740
I don't know.

207
00:10:27,758 --> 00:10:30,181
I'm hoping there's
something that I forgot,

208
00:10:30,196 --> 00:10:32,853
like maybe you were debating
on whether or not to tell Kirk

209
00:10:32,867 --> 00:10:35,261
the difference between
antiperspirant and deodorant.

210
00:10:35,275 --> 00:10:36,900
You told Luke
about Christopher?

211
00:10:36,915 --> 00:10:37,670
Yes.

212
00:10:37,685 --> 00:10:39,611
I thought no matter what
you weren't going to.

213
00:10:39,628 --> 00:10:40,583
I wasn't.

214
00:10:40,597 --> 00:10:41,982
Oh, honey, why?

215
00:10:41,995 --> 00:10:44,981
Because Luke showed up
at my house this morning

216
00:10:44,998 --> 00:10:47,980
with the truck fully packed,
ready to elope.

217
00:10:47,996 --> 00:10:49,292
- Oh, god, he did?
- Yeah.

218
00:10:49,306 --> 00:10:52,442
And he wouldn't take no for an answer,
and so I had to tell him.

219
00:10:52,457 --> 00:10:54,102
That's the only way he
was gonna believe me

220
00:10:54,138 --> 00:10:57,240
because it had to be no.

221
00:10:57,257 --> 00:10:58,671
Did it have to be?

222
00:10:58,687 --> 00:11:01,393
I mean,
did the answer have to be no?

223
00:11:01,407 --> 00:11:04,723
No. I mean,
I guess I could be married right now

224
00:11:04,735 --> 00:11:06,642
to someone who doesn't
want to be married to me

225
00:11:06,656 --> 00:11:10,433
and who doesn't know that I slept with
someone two nights before we got married.

226
00:11:10,906 --> 00:11:13,441
Well, when you
put it that way...

227
00:11:14,316 --> 00:11:16,332
Must have been horrible.

228
00:11:16,748 --> 00:11:20,591
It was one of the most horrible
moments of my whole life.

229
00:11:20,605 --> 00:11:22,081
Are you okay?

230
00:11:22,097 --> 00:11:23,641
No.

231
00:11:24,737 --> 00:11:28,311
I mean, no, not at all.
I'm so very not fine,

232
00:11:28,328 --> 00:11:31,001
but what am I gonna do,
you know?

233
00:11:31,028 --> 00:11:33,062
I have to be fine.

234
00:11:33,077 --> 00:11:35,000
Oh, honey.

235
00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:36,941
Yeah.

236
00:11:42,516 --> 00:11:44,702
Hey, Zach.
So, the honeymoon's over.

237
00:11:44,717 --> 00:11:45,902
Is the honeymoon over?

238
00:11:45,916 --> 00:11:46,543
What?

239
00:11:46,555 --> 00:11:47,603
How was Mexico?

240
00:11:47,618 --> 00:11:48,851
Full of parasites.

241
00:11:48,865 --> 00:11:50,531
Oh, gee, that's no good.

242
00:11:50,546 --> 00:11:52,571
The whole trip was
a total fiasco.

243
00:11:52,585 --> 00:11:55,102
It was the Stones at
Altamont times a billion.

244
00:11:55,116 --> 00:11:57,121
But you and Lane were
so excited about it.

245
00:11:57,135 --> 00:11:59,173
From the way you talked,
I was worried you'd move there

246
00:11:59,208 --> 00:12:00,360
and start a mariachi band.

247
00:12:00,377 --> 00:12:02,822
Mexico sucks.
And we were psyched.

248
00:12:02,836 --> 00:12:04,242
That's part of why
it sucked so bad.

249
00:12:04,276 --> 00:12:06,460
I thought I found this
amazing deal online, right?

250
00:12:06,478 --> 00:12:08,842
Pedro's Paradise.
It all sounded good.

251
00:12:08,857 --> 00:12:13,153
The website said it had ocean views,
its own kitchen, and a jacuzzi.

252
00:12:13,168 --> 00:12:15,892
And nobody loves jacuzzis
more than me. Nobody.

253
00:12:15,906 --> 00:12:19,072
And then we get there,
and it turns out Pedro's Paradise

254
00:12:19,087 --> 00:12:22,261
is just this room in this dude
Pedro's crappy apartment.

255
00:12:22,276 --> 00:12:23,471
No. His apartment?

256
00:12:23,485 --> 00:12:28,303
23 miles from the ocean, with a view of
a billboard for mexican nasal spray.

257
00:12:28,318 --> 00:12:29,790
So the website lied.

258
00:12:29,805 --> 00:12:32,512
And the kitchen we were promised --
it smelled like rice-a-roni

259
00:12:32,525 --> 00:12:34,551
and was always full of
Pedro's jerky friends

260
00:12:34,567 --> 00:12:36,550
listening to the devil's music,
playing cards,

261
00:12:36,568 --> 00:12:39,291
and making snide remarks
about us in code.

262
00:12:39,306 --> 00:12:40,751
Pedro's friends talked in code?

263
00:12:40,766 --> 00:12:43,261
Well, spanish, technically.
Same difference.

264
00:12:43,276 --> 00:12:45,802
They knew I couldn't understand them.
Pedro was evil, man.

265
00:12:45,816 --> 00:12:46,741
Man.

266
00:12:46,756 --> 00:12:49,002
Anyway, on the second day,
I got some parasite,

267
00:12:49,015 --> 00:12:51,813
and I've been barfing Linda
Blair style ever since.

268
00:12:51,826 --> 00:12:53,760
I'm getting better,
but now it looks like Lane's got it.

269
00:12:53,796 --> 00:12:54,593
Oh no!

270
00:12:54,606 --> 00:12:56,012
I'm heading over to
Doose's right now

271
00:12:56,048 --> 00:12:58,273
to get some ginger
ale and saltines,

272
00:12:58,287 --> 00:13:00,732
which, by the way, was all we
ate in the way of mexican food.

273
00:13:00,746 --> 00:13:02,521
Oh, I'm sorry your
trip was so sucky.

274
00:13:02,538 --> 00:13:04,502
Yeah, well, live and learn.

275
00:13:04,516 --> 00:13:06,902
Like, now I know not to
drink the water in Mexico,

276
00:13:06,918 --> 00:13:09,233
which, by the way,
somebody should really tell you.

277
00:13:09,245 --> 00:13:11,453
And I learned that I'm not
morally against murder.

278
00:13:11,467 --> 00:13:13,071
I just wish I had
the guts to do it.

279
00:13:13,086 --> 00:13:16,290
Well, I'm glad you didn't kill Pedro.
I mean, he's not worth it.

280
00:13:16,307 --> 00:13:17,923
Yeah, whatever.

281
00:13:20,878 --> 00:13:21,852
Hello.

282
00:13:21,868 --> 00:13:23,612
Hola, Rory.

283
00:13:32,005 --> 00:13:33,852
Hey, sicko.

284
00:13:33,867 --> 00:13:36,182
Oh, welcome home.

285
00:13:36,198 --> 00:13:38,892
I heard Pedro's Paradise
wasn't so paradisey.

286
00:13:38,905 --> 00:13:40,142
Mexico sucked.

287
00:13:40,157 --> 00:13:43,010
Oh. But guess who I heard it from --
your husband.

288
00:13:43,027 --> 00:13:44,510
Can we not squeal about that?

289
00:13:44,528 --> 00:13:46,053
I don't really want to squeal.

290
00:13:46,068 --> 00:13:47,740
But if you feel like squealing,
go ahead.

291
00:13:47,756 --> 00:13:50,091
Oh, I'm sorry.
Of course you don't feel like squealing.

292
00:13:50,106 --> 00:13:51,050
You're sick.

293
00:13:51,068 --> 00:13:53,151
I actually feel okay right now.

294
00:13:53,205 --> 00:13:56,263
My aversion to squealing is
more emotional than physical.

295
00:13:56,275 --> 00:13:58,163
I'm so sorry your honeymoon
was such a bummer.

296
00:13:58,178 --> 00:14:00,671
On, like, the fourth day,
Zach got so paranoid

297
00:14:00,688 --> 00:14:04,981
that Pedro and his friends were
talking lasciviously about me in code

298
00:14:04,995 --> 00:14:07,800
that he lunged at Pedro --
leapt at him from behind the door.

299
00:14:07,817 --> 00:14:10,742
Luckily, Zach was so weak from
parasites that he missed --

300
00:14:10,756 --> 00:14:12,493
just flopped to
the kitchen floor

301
00:14:12,506 --> 00:14:14,870
Like he was a pancake someone
threw across the room.

302
00:14:14,888 --> 00:14:16,412
People throw pancakes?

303
00:14:16,425 --> 00:14:19,352
I just stared at him lying
on the floor and thought,

304
00:14:19,368 --> 00:14:20,952
"I just married that man."

305
00:14:20,968 --> 00:14:23,020
And you didn't squeal for joy.

306
00:14:23,037 --> 00:14:23,871
Nope.

307
00:14:23,886 --> 00:14:24,962
I went into the other room

308
00:14:24,975 --> 00:14:28,533
and stared at Pedro's poster
of Spuds McKenzie hanging 20

309
00:14:28,548 --> 00:14:30,443
and ate my 20th
saltine of the day.

310
00:14:30,457 --> 00:14:31,993
The whole trip sounds
kind of rough.

311
00:14:32,008 --> 00:14:33,932
Oh, you have no idea.

312
00:14:33,945 --> 00:14:37,311
What I just told you are the
highlights compared to the real stuff.

313
00:14:37,325 --> 00:14:38,693
No. What?

314
00:14:38,708 --> 00:14:40,502
We can't talk here.
The walls have ears.

315
00:14:40,517 --> 00:14:41,513
And giant sombrero.

316
00:14:41,526 --> 00:14:43,112
And big mouth.
Let's go for a walk.

317
00:14:43,126 --> 00:14:44,993
No, you're not feeling right.
You should take care of yourself.

318
00:14:45,028 --> 00:14:47,551
I'm feeling all right
right now, actually.

319
00:14:47,567 --> 00:14:49,292
Besides, I have a doctor's
appointment tomorrow,

320
00:14:49,328 --> 00:14:51,173
and if I start to
barf in public,

321
00:14:51,186 --> 00:14:53,261
you could just pretend we
were partying too hard.

322
00:14:53,277 --> 00:14:54,843
Which would do
wonders for my rep.

323
00:14:54,856 --> 00:14:56,341
All right, Mrs. Van Gerbig,

324
00:14:56,355 --> 00:14:58,321
let's blow this popsicle stand.

325
00:14:59,096 --> 00:15:01,351
Okay. So tell me --

326
00:15:01,705 --> 00:15:03,363
what are we thinking
about here?

327
00:15:03,378 --> 00:15:06,231
Well, the basic idea is
to fix the giant hole.

328
00:15:06,248 --> 00:15:08,080
Yeah, but how?
'Cause I've been thinking about it.

329
00:15:08,116 --> 00:15:11,233
I got a couple ideas about
a sort of log-cabin thing.

330
00:15:11,247 --> 00:15:14,942
I think what might really be nice
is a giant stained-glass window.

331
00:15:14,958 --> 00:15:16,731
Yeah, I don't think so.

332
00:15:16,747 --> 00:15:18,133
Don't rule it out so quick.

333
00:15:18,145 --> 00:15:22,122
I can picture what you're picturing,
like with all scary religious pictures.

334
00:15:22,138 --> 00:15:24,401
It wouldn't have to be
a bloody crucifixion.

335
00:15:24,415 --> 00:15:27,941
It could just be an
image of a happy animal.

336
00:15:27,955 --> 00:15:30,083
I don't know,
a smiling penguin or...

337
00:15:30,095 --> 00:15:32,113
or perhaps a
peaceful-looking giraffe.

338
00:15:32,128 --> 00:15:34,550
You think I should put up
a stained-glass window

339
00:15:34,568 --> 00:15:37,542
of a peaceful-looking giraffe
on the side of my diner?

340
00:15:37,558 --> 00:15:40,001
I'm just spitballing.
Nothing's written in stone.

341
00:15:40,018 --> 00:15:41,042
Oh, well, that's good.

342
00:15:41,056 --> 00:15:42,641
How about diamond shapes?

343
00:15:42,656 --> 00:15:45,461
You know what, T.J.?
Why don't we just get to work?

344
00:15:48,356 --> 00:15:51,530
- You're in a bit of a mood.
- I'm not in a mood, damn it.

345
00:15:51,547 --> 00:15:54,160
Okay! I'm sorry
I said anything.

346
00:15:54,175 --> 00:15:55,733
I won't say anything else.

347
00:15:55,748 --> 00:15:57,953
You know what, T.J., forget it.
I'm sorry.

348
00:15:57,965 --> 00:16:00,230
I really appreciate the
help you're giving me.

349
00:16:00,245 --> 00:16:02,533
I know it was
last-minute. Okay?

350
00:16:02,545 --> 00:16:03,890
No problem, buddy.

351
00:16:03,907 --> 00:16:05,793
What are brother-in-laws for?

352
00:16:05,805 --> 00:16:07,501
Actually...

353
00:16:08,456 --> 00:16:11,200
I'm glad for an excuse
to be out of the house.

354
00:16:11,215 --> 00:16:13,761
Because being pregnant
makes Liz incredibly horny.

355
00:16:13,776 --> 00:16:15,303
- T.J.
- Yeah, Luke?

356
00:16:15,316 --> 00:16:17,572
Can we not talk about
my sister's sexuality?

357
00:16:17,585 --> 00:16:20,302
Oh, yeah. Well, sure.

358
00:16:20,318 --> 00:16:23,992
I guess it's something about all
those hormones racing around in there.

359
00:16:24,008 --> 00:16:26,232
You should totally knock
Lorelai up, though.

360
00:16:26,246 --> 00:16:27,290
T.J.

361
00:16:27,308 --> 00:16:28,940
What, I'm not talking
about your sister.

362
00:16:28,956 --> 00:16:31,391
I'm talking about your fiancée.

363
00:16:31,405 --> 00:16:35,441
I got a feeling pregnancy would
make Lorelai particularly randy.

364
00:16:35,457 --> 00:16:37,013
T.J.!

365
00:16:40,055 --> 00:16:43,242
Just think how cool it would be if
we raised our families together.

366
00:16:43,258 --> 00:16:45,000
You should get
started now, though.

367
00:16:45,015 --> 00:16:46,250
Right.

368
00:16:46,266 --> 00:16:47,852
So how many kids you guys want?

369
00:16:47,866 --> 00:16:49,591
You know what?
I think I'm gonna go get the primer.

370
00:16:49,628 --> 00:16:51,063
- Now?
- Yeah. I'm just...

371
00:16:51,076 --> 00:16:52,733
worried about the hardware
store's gonna run out.

372
00:16:52,765 --> 00:16:54,082
'Cause you know,
it is the primer season.

373
00:16:54,115 --> 00:16:55,930
- Good thinking.
- Yeah, I'll be right back.

374
00:17:01,358 --> 00:17:03,513
So, now I know.

375
00:17:03,528 --> 00:17:04,450
Know what?

376
00:17:04,468 --> 00:17:06,673
That it's bad. It's terrible.

377
00:17:07,516 --> 00:17:08,702
Sex.

378
00:17:08,807 --> 00:17:11,381
Oh. No. Sex was bad?

379
00:17:11,395 --> 00:17:13,721
You can drop the act, Rory.
It's okay.

380
00:17:13,735 --> 00:17:15,602
I've known the real deal
about Santa Claus for years.

381
00:17:15,636 --> 00:17:16,943
And now I know about sex.

382
00:17:16,958 --> 00:17:18,522
- Lane --
- You know what's funny?

383
00:17:18,536 --> 00:17:21,940
I really thought my mother
was being an insane prude

384
00:17:21,958 --> 00:17:23,692
when she said that sex
was horrible for women.

385
00:17:23,726 --> 00:17:25,722
But now I can see that,
in fact,

386
00:17:25,735 --> 00:17:28,173
my mother was the only
woman who wasn't willing

387
00:17:28,188 --> 00:17:32,591
to maintain this ridiculous,
pervasive, media-supported charade.

388
00:17:32,607 --> 00:17:35,743
What ridiculous, pervasive,
media-supported charade?

389
00:17:35,757 --> 00:17:36,920
That sex is normal.

390
00:17:36,936 --> 00:17:39,082
That sex is a
wonderful part of life.

391
00:17:39,098 --> 00:17:40,951
That sex is sexy.

392
00:17:40,965 --> 00:17:42,390
I mean,
can we just not admit it?

393
00:17:42,406 --> 00:17:44,483
Sex is not sexy.
Sex is horrible.

394
00:17:44,496 --> 00:17:46,453
Sex doesn't have
to be horrible.

395
00:17:46,468 --> 00:17:50,521
In a way, I'm impressed with
the depth of the conspiracy.

396
00:17:50,535 --> 00:17:54,273
If you think about it, it says something
about the potential power of women

397
00:17:54,287 --> 00:17:56,150
that the entire
gender could collude

398
00:17:56,168 --> 00:17:58,912
in creating the
"sex is sexy" myth.

399
00:17:58,927 --> 00:18:00,912
So sex with Zach was bad?

400
00:18:00,928 --> 00:18:02,903
Unbelievably bad.

401
00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:04,453
Every time?

402
00:18:04,465 --> 00:18:07,012
Yeah, right. Every time.

403
00:18:07,318 --> 00:18:08,811
You only did it once.

404
00:18:08,827 --> 00:18:10,770
That's right, and I'm out.

405
00:18:10,785 --> 00:18:12,692
Well, the first
time can be weird.

406
00:18:12,705 --> 00:18:14,930
I mean, my first time definitely
had its weird aspects,

407
00:18:14,945 --> 00:18:17,170
but it gets better.
It gets good.

408
00:18:17,188 --> 00:18:20,430
Um, sorry.
I just don't believe you.

409
00:18:20,606 --> 00:18:24,352
Um... okay. You have to walk
me through what happened.

410
00:18:24,367 --> 00:18:27,152
I mean, not graphically,
but help me out here.

411
00:18:27,166 --> 00:18:30,503
Okay. So we decided that,
for our first time,

412
00:18:30,517 --> 00:18:32,390
since it was such a big
deal and everything,

413
00:18:32,407 --> 00:18:34,411
since we've been waiting
and waiting and --

414
00:18:34,425 --> 00:18:35,930
God, if I'd known what
it was going to be like,

415
00:18:35,965 --> 00:18:37,212
I would have gladly
kept waiting.

416
00:18:37,247 --> 00:18:40,982
But anyway, we decided to re-create
the scene in "From here to eternity."

417
00:18:40,995 --> 00:18:43,233
Wow. Ambitious.
Sex on the beach.

418
00:18:43,245 --> 00:18:45,552
Anyway, the whole
thing was a disaster.

419
00:18:45,568 --> 00:18:47,361
Because you know what
movies don't tell you?

420
00:18:47,377 --> 00:18:49,822
That sand is basically dirt.

421
00:18:49,836 --> 00:18:51,683
It was dirty. It was cold.

422
00:18:51,695 --> 00:18:52,770
My hands were shaking.

423
00:18:52,787 --> 00:18:55,963
I'm trying to remember stuff from
school about condoms and bananas.

424
00:18:55,977 --> 00:18:58,622
And then suddenly I realize,
we got crabs,

425
00:18:58,636 --> 00:19:00,791
live ones that are
scuttling all over us.

426
00:19:00,806 --> 00:19:04,171
And Zach starts freaking out because,
apparently, he's afraid of shellfish.

427
00:19:04,186 --> 00:19:06,591
And it's getting
colder and dirtier.

428
00:19:06,607 --> 00:19:09,823
And at some point,
this pervert with a snorkel mask

429
00:19:09,838 --> 00:19:12,093
appears out of nowhere.
And I'm thinking,

430
00:19:12,108 --> 00:19:14,941
"we took three buses from
Pedro's apartment for this."

431
00:19:14,957 --> 00:19:16,380
Oh, Lane.

432
00:19:16,398 --> 00:19:19,981
Yeah, just talking about it
makes me feel sick and queasy.

433
00:19:19,995 --> 00:19:22,402
Well, you are sick and queasy.
You have a parasite.

434
00:19:22,415 --> 00:19:23,400
But, okay.

435
00:19:23,418 --> 00:19:26,763
Once you feel better, you really should
try sex again indoors in a bed.

436
00:19:26,777 --> 00:19:29,061
I'm open to the idea
of a sexless marriage.

437
00:19:29,077 --> 00:19:32,101
I mean, it happens for some people,
eventually. Why wait?

438
00:19:32,116 --> 00:19:34,050
Try a bed first. Seriously.

439
00:19:34,067 --> 00:19:36,982
You would not believe what a comforter
can do in this kind of situation.

440
00:19:36,995 --> 00:19:39,933
Hey, aren't you supposed
to be in Asia right now?

441
00:19:39,946 --> 00:19:42,611
How come you're not traipsing
around Thailand with Logan?

442
00:19:42,625 --> 00:19:44,473
Um, Logan's job started.

443
00:19:44,486 --> 00:19:46,512
He's far, far away in London.

444
00:19:46,528 --> 00:19:48,143
You're lucky.

445
00:19:48,155 --> 00:19:49,891
Yeah.

446
00:20:04,945 --> 00:20:05,981
Sorry.

447
00:20:05,995 --> 00:20:08,471
Oh. Don't worry about me.
I'm fine.

448
00:20:09,057 --> 00:20:10,680
Are you fine, really?

449
00:20:10,695 --> 00:20:13,171
Because, I mean,
you don't have to be fine.

450
00:20:13,227 --> 00:20:16,831
Because this is really
weird and really hard and...

451
00:20:16,845 --> 00:20:19,800
- I'm not exactly fine.
- You're not?

452
00:20:19,848 --> 00:20:21,002
Of course not.

453
00:20:21,015 --> 00:20:23,550
Well, that's too bad because I am.
I'm fine.

454
00:20:23,565 --> 00:20:25,392
Well... okay.

455
00:20:25,508 --> 00:20:27,733
You know, maybe you should
punch Christopher's lights out.

456
00:20:27,766 --> 00:20:29,693
- That seemed to do it for me.
- What?

457
00:20:29,705 --> 00:20:31,982
Oh, so your boyfriend
didn't tell you.

458
00:20:31,996 --> 00:20:33,490
You punched Christopher?

459
00:20:33,508 --> 00:20:35,613
You two need to work on
your communication skills.

460
00:20:35,625 --> 00:20:36,903
- Oh, stop it.
- What?

461
00:20:36,917 --> 00:20:38,372
Christopher is
not my boyfriend.

462
00:20:38,388 --> 00:20:39,510
I don't care if he is.

463
00:20:39,525 --> 00:20:42,032
I mean, you can date whoever
or whatever you want.

464
00:20:42,046 --> 00:20:43,811
I couldn't care less. I'm fine.

465
00:20:43,827 --> 00:20:45,930
Okay, fine.
Well, if you're so fine,

466
00:20:45,946 --> 00:20:49,541
the next time you get a hankering
to punch someone else, don't, okay?

467
00:20:49,555 --> 00:20:52,282
If you need to take your anger
out on someone, take it out on me.

468
00:20:52,296 --> 00:20:54,941
I'm the one you're mad at.
I'm the one who deserves it.

469
00:20:54,956 --> 00:20:57,083
Look, you're the one
who's still hung up here.

470
00:20:57,098 --> 00:20:58,661
I'm telling you, I'm over it.

471
00:20:58,675 --> 00:21:01,740
I mean, I guess it's just not as
big a deal to me as it is to you.

472
00:21:01,755 --> 00:21:03,623
Oh, it's not as big a deal?

473
00:21:03,637 --> 00:21:05,870
Yeah, so what? We're not getting
married. It's okay by me.

474
00:21:05,905 --> 00:21:08,703
I mean, you're the one who
proposed in the first place.

475
00:21:20,665 --> 00:21:21,910
It looks good.

476
00:21:21,927 --> 00:21:24,323
If you say so.
It's no Sistine chapel.

477
00:21:24,335 --> 00:21:25,373
Well, that's true.

478
00:21:25,385 --> 00:21:27,933
- It's no Taj Mahal.
- No, it is not the Taj Mahal.

479
00:21:27,946 --> 00:21:30,452
So, look,
the window guy's coming by tomorrow,

480
00:21:30,468 --> 00:21:33,011
and he and I are
gonna put it in, so...

481
00:21:33,028 --> 00:21:34,991
after this coat,
you're free to go, okay?

482
00:21:35,007 --> 00:21:37,240
And thanks for the help.
It really looks good.

483
00:21:37,256 --> 00:21:38,602
You sure you don't
want any of this?

484
00:21:38,637 --> 00:21:40,022
No, I'm sure.

485
00:21:40,035 --> 00:21:42,331
- You stop drinking beer?
- No.

486
00:21:42,355 --> 00:21:45,052
It makes you kind of bloated,
but to me, it's worth it.

487
00:21:45,065 --> 00:21:47,473
I'm psyched Kirk's
got a liquor license.

488
00:21:47,488 --> 00:21:49,263
How come you quit
drinking beer?

489
00:21:49,277 --> 00:21:50,850
Whoever said I quit
drinking beer?

490
00:21:50,866 --> 00:21:52,142
You know what I like?

491
00:21:52,157 --> 00:21:54,243
Drinking beer outside.

492
00:21:54,255 --> 00:21:55,643
I don't know,
maybe it's 'cause I grew up

493
00:21:55,678 --> 00:21:57,722
watching my dad drink
out behind the tool shed,

494
00:21:57,736 --> 00:22:00,101
and it's got this
romantic image for me.

495
00:22:00,115 --> 00:22:02,452
- But that's my thing.
- Your thing is drinking beer outside?

496
00:22:02,487 --> 00:22:04,263
Beer outside is the greatest.

497
00:22:04,277 --> 00:22:07,802
Oh, except for at ice-skating rinks,
of course.

498
00:22:07,816 --> 00:22:08,413
Of course.

499
00:22:08,427 --> 00:22:10,002
Yeah, there's
something about the way

500
00:22:10,018 --> 00:22:12,231
the zamboni exhaust
mixes with the beer

501
00:22:12,248 --> 00:22:14,723
that's really just
out of this world.

502
00:22:14,738 --> 00:22:18,493
Speaking of which, guess what I just
got -- tickets to the hockettes.

503
00:22:18,506 --> 00:22:21,433
You know the hockettes,
the ice-skating girls? They're amazing.

504
00:22:21,445 --> 00:22:25,142
They do everything the rockettes do,
only they do it with ice skates on.

505
00:22:25,158 --> 00:22:26,323
Oh, that's great, T.J.

506
00:22:26,335 --> 00:22:28,213
Guess how many tickets I got.

507
00:22:28,228 --> 00:22:29,421
Four.

508
00:22:29,438 --> 00:22:32,862
And who did I think might
like to go with me and Liz?

509
00:22:32,938 --> 00:22:35,653
President and Mrs.
Bush. Just kidding.

510
00:22:35,665 --> 00:22:38,153
- You and Lorelai.
- Oh, gee.

511
00:22:38,168 --> 00:22:41,510
I don't...
think we can make that.

512
00:22:41,527 --> 00:22:44,682
Come on! When's the last time
we all had a wild night out?

513
00:22:44,698 --> 00:22:47,051
Yeah, you know,
I think I'm doing something that week.

514
00:22:47,066 --> 00:22:49,071
Man, that sucks.
Wait, which week?

515
00:22:49,086 --> 00:22:50,832
Uh, the week of the rockettes.

516
00:22:50,846 --> 00:22:51,940
Which is which week?

517
00:22:51,958 --> 00:22:53,321
The week they're here.

518
00:22:53,336 --> 00:22:54,963
They're in town a whole month!

519
00:22:54,975 --> 00:22:56,911
And I'm fully willing
to switch my tickets

520
00:22:56,925 --> 00:22:58,902
for whichever night
is best for you guys.

521
00:22:58,917 --> 00:23:00,672
Yeah, I don't --
I don't think so.

522
00:23:00,687 --> 00:23:02,792
- Come on.
- I...

523
00:23:03,108 --> 00:23:06,702
Lorelai and I... broke up.

524
00:23:09,095 --> 00:23:11,813
- T.J., okay!
- It's okay, buddy.

525
00:23:11,825 --> 00:23:15,841
It's okay. Let it out.
There is no shame in experiencing pain.

526
00:23:15,857 --> 00:23:17,103
I'm having trouble breathing.

527
00:23:17,117 --> 00:23:21,463
You are coming over to dinner
tonight with me and Liz.

528
00:23:40,577 --> 00:23:42,940
Hello, honorable Rory-San.

529
00:23:42,958 --> 00:23:44,480
You've made Asia for me?

530
00:23:44,497 --> 00:23:47,472
Mm-hmm. Here's your kimono,
honorable Rory-San.

531
00:23:47,487 --> 00:23:49,180
Thank you.

532
00:23:49,197 --> 00:23:50,942
You made crazy Asia.

533
00:23:50,955 --> 00:23:54,352
Well, actually, believe it or not,
but this is an exact replica

534
00:23:54,367 --> 00:23:56,870
of Japan, China,

535
00:23:56,886 --> 00:23:59,000
Vietnam, Cambodia,

536
00:23:59,018 --> 00:24:00,892
Hong Kong, Korea,

537
00:24:00,907 --> 00:24:03,250
and any other Asian countries that might
have slipped my mind for the moment.

538
00:24:03,286 --> 00:24:05,532
This is exactly what you
would see in the other Asia.

539
00:24:05,546 --> 00:24:06,610
The one that's not
in our living room.

540
00:24:06,646 --> 00:24:08,232
Yeah, the old Asia.

541
00:24:08,247 --> 00:24:10,943
The first attempt, I like to call it
"The prototype".

542
00:24:10,958 --> 00:24:12,643
Asia's a lot smaller
than I thought,

543
00:24:12,655 --> 00:24:14,542
more intimate.
And more fragrant.

544
00:24:14,558 --> 00:24:17,770
Yes, well, miss Patty donated
a bottle of her opium perfume,

545
00:24:17,786 --> 00:24:19,481
- and I spritzed it around a little.
- A little.

546
00:24:19,518 --> 00:24:22,491
Well, little at first,
and then I tripped on my flip-flop

547
00:24:22,505 --> 00:24:23,361
and broke the bottle.

548
00:24:23,378 --> 00:24:26,201
Asia's so pretty.
I love all the lanterns and...

549
00:24:26,216 --> 00:24:28,122
Oh, the poster of Mao.
Very nice.

550
00:24:28,135 --> 00:24:31,192
And one of Sandra Oh. Because oddly,
you have a poster of Sandra Oh.

551
00:24:31,206 --> 00:24:32,443
Well, she's a goddess.

552
00:24:32,456 --> 00:24:34,740
And those aren't posters.
They're billboards.

553
00:24:34,758 --> 00:24:35,941
You've lost perspective.

554
00:24:35,958 --> 00:24:37,953
Ah. I see you feng
shuied the furniture.

555
00:24:37,966 --> 00:24:41,013
Because it was so unfeng shuied before.
It was ridiculous.

556
00:24:41,025 --> 00:24:42,872
Here --
to document our journey.

557
00:24:42,888 --> 00:24:43,891
Xie xie.

558
00:24:43,907 --> 00:24:44,851
Oh, god bless you.

559
00:24:44,867 --> 00:24:46,593
That's "thank you" in mandarin.

560
00:24:46,607 --> 00:24:48,963
I knew that. Just testing you.

561
00:24:48,977 --> 00:24:51,322
Perhaps I shall
outline our itinerary.

562
00:24:51,338 --> 00:24:52,890
Perhaps we shall.

563
00:24:52,958 --> 00:24:56,220
All right, well,
first stop is Japan,

564
00:24:56,235 --> 00:24:58,053
land of the rising sun,

565
00:24:58,067 --> 00:25:00,093
ruled by Hello Kitty,

566
00:25:00,108 --> 00:25:02,503
where we are gonna
make our own sushi.

567
00:25:02,517 --> 00:25:04,542
You, me, and raw fish?
Is that safe?

568
00:25:04,558 --> 00:25:06,880
Well, I took a lesson,
and if you're really nervous,

569
00:25:06,898 --> 00:25:08,430
then we can skip the fugu.

570
00:25:08,447 --> 00:25:12,263
After we're stuffed with sushi,
we will take an invisible rickshaw

571
00:25:12,275 --> 00:25:14,823
to the rice paddies, i.e.
your room,

572
00:25:14,838 --> 00:25:17,300
Where we will spend
hours origamiing.

573
00:25:17,318 --> 00:25:20,192
- Paper cranes!
- Yeah, and paper bulldozers

574
00:25:20,208 --> 00:25:22,670
and paper dump trucks and whatever
else your little heart desires.

575
00:25:22,705 --> 00:25:25,582
Then, we'll take a bullet
train straight back to Tokyo

576
00:25:25,597 --> 00:25:28,331
where we'll relax
with some tai chi

577
00:25:28,347 --> 00:25:32,483
in preparation for the
kabuki play I wrote.

578
00:25:32,495 --> 00:25:34,273
Tai chi's actually chinese.

579
00:25:34,288 --> 00:25:35,623
Duh. I know that.

580
00:25:35,637 --> 00:25:37,823
We're gonna teach
it to the japanese.

581
00:25:37,838 --> 00:25:39,973
- That's nice of us.
- We're very nice that way.

582
00:25:39,986 --> 00:25:42,400
All right. So, finally,
we will conclude our journey

583
00:25:42,417 --> 00:25:44,693
with some fortune cookies
and dessert sushi.

584
00:25:44,707 --> 00:25:47,051
Dessert sushi --
I do love Asia.

585
00:25:47,067 --> 00:25:51,042
And that will be followed
by an educational video,

586
00:25:51,055 --> 00:25:54,690
which includes, but is not limited to,
"Bridge on the river Kwai,"

587
00:25:54,708 --> 00:25:57,381
"The joy luck club," "Karate
kid," "Shanghai surprise,"

588
00:25:57,396 --> 00:25:59,463
The Bruce Lee classic
"Enter the dragon,"

589
00:25:59,475 --> 00:26:01,542
The Tom Selleck
classic "Mr. Baseball,"

590
00:26:01,557 --> 00:26:03,783
- and/or "Breakfast at Tiffany's."
- "Breakfast at Tiffany's"?

591
00:26:03,818 --> 00:26:07,630
Yeah, starring Mickey Rooney in his
tour-de-force racist performance

592
00:26:07,647 --> 00:26:09,600
as holly golightly's
japanese landlord.

593
00:26:09,617 --> 00:26:11,123
Oh, yeah, he's so bad.

594
00:26:11,138 --> 00:26:12,523
All right,
let's make some sushi.

595
00:26:12,536 --> 00:26:13,711
But I'm scared.

596
00:26:13,726 --> 00:26:17,102
Oh, I'll let you in on a secret.
The fish is really fried chicken.

597
00:26:17,628 --> 00:26:19,282
You are honestly
asserting that you like

598
00:26:19,296 --> 00:26:21,383
the "tootsie-roll marshmallow
twizzler" roll better

599
00:26:21,396 --> 00:26:24,112
than the "butterfinger junior
mint chocolate-chip jujube" roll?

600
00:26:24,127 --> 00:26:27,271
Call me crazy. But I just don't
think butterfingers go with jujubes.

601
00:26:27,286 --> 00:26:28,683
Crazy.

602
00:26:28,698 --> 00:26:31,182
The limitations of your
palate astound me.

603
00:26:31,196 --> 00:26:33,023
Hey, I liked the "oreo
red hot" sashimi.

604
00:26:33,037 --> 00:26:33,860
Me too.

605
00:26:33,875 --> 00:26:35,233
See, I'm not a hater.

606
00:26:35,247 --> 00:26:39,432
Did you notice how the red hots
acted as a dessert-sushi wasabi?

607
00:26:39,445 --> 00:26:41,473
I did,
which is something we should remember

608
00:26:41,486 --> 00:26:42,970
when we go to
mass-market these.

609
00:26:42,987 --> 00:26:45,320
I'm telling you, the invention of
dessert sushi is gonna make us

610
00:26:45,358 --> 00:26:46,881
- our first million.
- And our second.

611
00:26:46,897 --> 00:26:48,683
I'd like our third
to be go-go dancing.

612
00:26:48,696 --> 00:26:49,942
Sounds like a plan.

613
00:26:49,957 --> 00:26:51,931
You know,
I'm really not following this plot.

614
00:26:51,945 --> 00:26:54,413
Okay, um... in the last scene,

615
00:26:54,425 --> 00:26:57,460
there was a sign that said,
"No shirt, no shoes, no service."

616
00:26:57,475 --> 00:27:02,553
And this guy, shirtless guy,
is angry about that -- angry.

617
00:27:02,567 --> 00:27:05,882
And he's like, "no, I'm not gonna
wear a shirt! I hate shirts!"

618
00:27:05,898 --> 00:27:08,032
End that really pissed those
other guys off.

619
00:27:08,048 --> 00:27:11,872
Hey, you know what would be
amazing and really asian?

620
00:27:11,885 --> 00:27:13,643
Fried ice cream.

621
00:27:13,658 --> 00:27:15,692
Oh, cows must envy
your stomach.

622
00:27:15,707 --> 00:27:16,482
They do.

623
00:27:16,497 --> 00:27:17,791
I'm so full, I can't move.

624
00:27:17,806 --> 00:27:20,171
I feel like one of those cats
that's bred to have no legs.

625
00:27:20,186 --> 00:27:22,263
Don't get me wrong --
my stomach's ready to explode.

626
00:27:22,275 --> 00:27:24,603
This is not a physical hunger.
It's more of a spiritual hunger.

627
00:27:24,636 --> 00:27:25,961
- For fried ice cream.
- Yeah.

628
00:27:25,976 --> 00:27:28,601
It's an eastern-philosophy thing.
You wouldn't understand.

629
00:27:29,017 --> 00:27:32,973
So, how do you think one actually
goes about frying ice cream?

630
00:27:32,988 --> 00:27:34,953
Probably in a frying pan.

631
00:27:35,097 --> 00:27:37,980
Uh-oh. Bit of a situation here.

632
00:27:37,997 --> 00:27:38,790
What?

633
00:27:38,808 --> 00:27:41,281
We are out of ice cream.

634
00:27:41,747 --> 00:27:43,680
I'm a cat with no legs.

635
00:27:43,697 --> 00:27:45,833
We can't answer it.
We're out of the country.

636
00:27:45,848 --> 00:27:47,963
No ice cream. Unbelievable.

637
00:27:47,976 --> 00:27:50,882
One time I feel like cooking,
there's no ice cream to fry.

638
00:27:50,896 --> 00:27:53,130
Lor, hey, it's me.

639
00:27:53,147 --> 00:27:54,920
Just still trying to reach you.

640
00:27:54,937 --> 00:27:56,271
Sorry I missed
your call before.

641
00:27:56,285 --> 00:27:58,672
But I wasn't calling about that
whole "Luke hitting me" thing.

642
00:27:58,705 --> 00:28:02,132
I don't care about that.
I just want to talk to you.

643
00:28:02,168 --> 00:28:03,701
I want to talk to you
about the other night.

644
00:28:03,735 --> 00:28:05,423
I know you said it was
just a one-night thing,

645
00:28:05,458 --> 00:28:07,541
but I want to talk about it,

646
00:28:07,555 --> 00:28:09,902
and about you and me, so...

647
00:28:09,915 --> 00:28:12,733
call me so we can talk.

648
00:28:12,746 --> 00:28:15,390
Okay. Bye.

649
00:28:17,027 --> 00:28:18,450
So...

650
00:28:19,345 --> 00:28:21,221
You slept with dad.

651
00:28:22,415 --> 00:28:24,980
Yeah. I did.

652
00:28:25,008 --> 00:28:26,563
You slept with dad.

653
00:28:26,575 --> 00:28:28,972
Um, that's just...

654
00:28:29,257 --> 00:28:31,073
I can't believe
you slept with dad.

655
00:28:31,086 --> 00:28:34,042
Is that why you and Luke broke up,
because you slept with dad?

656
00:28:34,056 --> 00:28:36,202
No, honey. No, I...

657
00:28:36,215 --> 00:28:37,793
believe me, no.

658
00:28:37,925 --> 00:28:40,952
Um, Luke and I had
broken up before.

659
00:28:40,965 --> 00:28:43,170
For how long?
I mean, it couldn't have been long.

660
00:28:43,187 --> 00:28:47,062
Because you and Luke have only been
broken up for what, like three days.

661
00:28:47,485 --> 00:28:49,372
Yeah, it was that night.

662
00:28:49,388 --> 00:28:51,823
The night you and
Luke broke up. Wow.

663
00:28:51,835 --> 00:28:55,442
So you just rushed right over there
the minute you were free, huh?

664
00:28:55,458 --> 00:28:56,251
Rory.

665
00:28:56,267 --> 00:28:57,843
Sounds like you were
in quite a hurry.

666
00:28:57,856 --> 00:29:00,840
Did you put a dummy in the passenger
seat so you could use the car-pool Lane?

667
00:29:00,877 --> 00:29:01,470
Rory.

668
00:29:01,487 --> 00:29:04,162
What? You didn't think of it?
In too much of a rush, I guess.

669
00:29:04,178 --> 00:29:06,663
I hope you buckled your seat belt.
You're supposed to buckle your seat belt

670
00:29:06,697 --> 00:29:07,871
even if you're in a rush.

671
00:29:07,886 --> 00:29:09,061
Hey, Rory --

672
00:29:09,075 --> 00:29:11,691
No, don't "Rory" me.
You don't get to "Rory" me.

673
00:29:11,706 --> 00:29:13,423
You slept with dad.

674
00:29:13,435 --> 00:29:16,773
Yeah. I-I-I...I know.

675
00:29:17,227 --> 00:29:18,911
Are you and dad an item now?

676
00:29:18,925 --> 00:29:20,993
No, it was nothing.
I mean, it...

677
00:29:21,007 --> 00:29:22,770
it had nothing to do
with me and Luke.

678
00:29:22,787 --> 00:29:25,371
What happened between me
and your dad was nothing.

679
00:29:25,387 --> 00:29:26,250
It was nothing.

680
00:29:26,266 --> 00:29:27,891
Mom, you slept with dad.

681
00:29:27,907 --> 00:29:30,121
For the love of god,
will you stop saying that?

682
00:29:30,137 --> 00:29:32,331
No, I can't stop saying
it because it happened.

683
00:29:32,345 --> 00:29:33,960
And you're trying to
pretend like it didn't.

684
00:29:33,998 --> 00:29:36,351
I'm not perfect, okay?
People make mistakes.

685
00:29:36,366 --> 00:29:38,550
I mean, Gwyneth Paltrow dyed
her hair that dark brown.

686
00:29:38,567 --> 00:29:39,952
It was very unflattering.

687
00:29:39,966 --> 00:29:42,353
If she's not perfect,
how do you expect me to be?

688
00:29:42,366 --> 00:29:45,172
Yeah, because what you did is
equivalent to dying your hair.

689
00:29:45,187 --> 00:29:46,570
That's great.

690
00:29:46,745 --> 00:29:49,091
Things were finally
good between you two

691
00:29:49,106 --> 00:29:50,512
And between me and dad.

692
00:29:50,526 --> 00:29:53,540
Did you not care that things were
finally really good between me and dad?

693
00:29:53,555 --> 00:29:56,022
I mean, do you not want us to be close?
Did you mean to ruin that?

694
00:29:56,055 --> 00:29:57,830
No! God, no!

695
00:29:57,846 --> 00:29:59,892
I love that dad's been good

696
00:29:59,908 --> 00:30:02,770
and that things with you
and dad have been good.

697
00:30:02,786 --> 00:30:05,791
I...I was hurting.
I was heartbroken.

698
00:30:05,806 --> 00:30:07,760
And...it happened.

699
00:30:07,775 --> 00:30:09,163
I slept with your dad.

700
00:30:09,178 --> 00:30:11,381
It's over now,
and it was a mistake.

701
00:30:11,398 --> 00:30:13,483
I can't believe you
didn't tell me this.

702
00:30:13,498 --> 00:30:15,881
I mean, first of all,
you say you don't want to talk.

703
00:30:15,895 --> 00:30:18,243
So I figure you're going
through some hard emotional time

704
00:30:18,256 --> 00:30:20,053
and you need some space.
That's fine.

705
00:30:20,066 --> 00:30:22,832
But what you didn't tell me
is that you slept with dad.

706
00:30:22,848 --> 00:30:24,510
No, instead you're going around

707
00:30:24,528 --> 00:30:28,161
joking about, you know,
origami and marshmallow sushi,

708
00:30:28,176 --> 00:30:30,033
like I'm some idiot 5-year-old.

709
00:30:30,045 --> 00:30:32,262
Rory, I was gonna tell you.

710
00:30:32,278 --> 00:30:34,061
- I just wanted --
- You know what, mom?

711
00:30:34,078 --> 00:30:36,632
If you're heartbroken,
you rent "An affair to remember,"

712
00:30:36,647 --> 00:30:40,223
you have a good cry, and drown your
sorrows in a pint of ice cream.

713
00:30:40,238 --> 00:30:42,793
You get a hideously
unflattering breakup haircut.

714
00:30:42,807 --> 00:30:45,140
You don't sleep with dad.

715
00:30:53,256 --> 00:30:54,723
Honey, we're home.

716
00:30:54,738 --> 00:30:56,322
Hi.

717
00:30:58,886 --> 00:31:02,182
Keep your hands off me,
you sex maniac.

718
00:31:02,197 --> 00:31:05,031
Oh, big brother,
I'm so, so sorry.

719
00:31:05,045 --> 00:31:05,640
Aw, thanks.

720
00:31:05,657 --> 00:31:07,430
Come in, come in.
Make yourself at home.

721
00:31:07,447 --> 00:31:08,581
Dinner's still in the oven,

722
00:31:08,597 --> 00:31:12,021
so we have time to have
a cocktail here and talk.

723
00:31:12,038 --> 00:31:14,590
Cocktail hour.
Pretty swanky stuff, huh?

724
00:31:14,607 --> 00:31:16,083
- Very, yeah.
- Sit, sit.

725
00:31:16,095 --> 00:31:17,770
You should be the one
that's sitting, Liz.

726
00:31:17,776 --> 00:31:19,352
- I'm fine.
- She's fine.

727
00:31:19,366 --> 00:31:20,831
Plus, it's good for
her to move around.

728
00:31:20,865 --> 00:31:22,773
Keeps all those
hormones circulating

729
00:31:22,787 --> 00:31:25,571
so they don't settle in one place,
if you know what I mean.

730
00:31:25,586 --> 00:31:28,183
White russian. T.J.

731
00:31:28,195 --> 00:31:31,460
She's trying to liquor me up.
I can see where this is going.

732
00:31:31,475 --> 00:31:32,582
It better not.

733
00:31:32,595 --> 00:31:34,540
We're really into white
russians recently.

734
00:31:34,558 --> 00:31:36,011
- It's our thing.
- Yeah.

735
00:31:36,027 --> 00:31:37,320
Of course, mine's a virgin.

736
00:31:37,336 --> 00:31:39,223
Ironically.

737
00:31:39,238 --> 00:31:40,623
Just cream.

738
00:31:40,635 --> 00:31:42,273
So...

739
00:31:42,405 --> 00:31:43,990
I'm ready to talk.

740
00:31:44,008 --> 00:31:46,000
Oh, you know, it's really okay.

741
00:31:46,016 --> 00:31:48,823
I don't need to talk.
It's just nice to be here.

742
00:31:48,837 --> 00:31:50,081
So was it Anna?

743
00:31:50,098 --> 00:31:52,281
What? No. It wasn't Anna.

744
00:31:52,297 --> 00:31:54,720
- You sure?
- Look, it wasn't Anna, okay?

745
00:31:54,737 --> 00:31:57,571
Lorelai and I broke up,
and I'd really rather not talk about it,

746
00:31:57,588 --> 00:31:59,700
so... if you don't want to
talk about something else,

747
00:31:59,715 --> 00:32:02,653
let's just sit here and
drink our white russians.

748
00:32:04,515 --> 00:32:06,181
Lane?

749
00:32:07,215 --> 00:32:08,240
Lane?

750
00:32:08,256 --> 00:32:09,110
I'm in here.

751
00:32:09,126 --> 00:32:10,512
Is Zach or Brian here?

752
00:32:10,528 --> 00:32:11,593
No.

753
00:32:11,605 --> 00:32:15,113
Sorry I didn't call first. I don't
know the protocol for married friends.

754
00:32:15,126 --> 00:32:17,630
I just had to get
out of my house.

755
00:32:17,647 --> 00:32:19,043
If I were there for
one more second,

756
00:32:19,077 --> 00:32:21,250
I think I would have had
to karate-chop my mom.

757
00:32:21,266 --> 00:32:23,571
I swear,
just chopped her in half.

758
00:32:23,585 --> 00:32:25,273
I guess I...

759
00:32:25,285 --> 00:32:28,522
Lane, are you okay?
Did the doctor say you have a parasite?

760
00:32:28,536 --> 00:32:30,841
In a manner of speaking.

761
00:32:32,695 --> 00:32:34,641
I'm pregnant.

762
00:32:34,656 --> 00:32:36,520
- Shut up.
- I'm pregnant.

763
00:32:36,535 --> 00:32:38,122
- You're not.
- I am.

764
00:32:38,137 --> 00:32:39,090
- No.
- Yes.

765
00:32:39,105 --> 00:32:41,742
I went to the doctor and he told me.
I'm pregnant with a baby.

766
00:32:41,757 --> 00:32:43,231
- No.
- Yes.

767
00:32:43,248 --> 00:32:46,112
- Wow.
- Yeah, wow.

768
00:32:46,126 --> 00:32:48,791
Oh, my god. Wow.

769
00:32:48,928 --> 00:32:51,223
Wow. How did Zach take it?

770
00:32:51,238 --> 00:32:53,290
He didn't. I haven't told him yet.
I haven't told anyone.

771
00:32:53,325 --> 00:32:55,303
I just came back here
and sat here. Pregnant.

772
00:32:55,318 --> 00:32:56,850
- You're not.
- I am.

773
00:32:56,867 --> 00:32:58,032
- Really?
- Really.

774
00:32:58,045 --> 00:33:00,150
I guess the combination
of salt water

775
00:33:00,167 --> 00:33:02,710
and seaweed and discount
mexican condoms

776
00:33:02,725 --> 00:33:05,711
and terrible,
terrible sex leads to a baby.

777
00:33:05,725 --> 00:33:06,760
A baby.

778
00:33:06,777 --> 00:33:09,123
A baby. Sex sucks so bad.

779
00:33:09,138 --> 00:33:10,701
Sex sucks worse than I thought.

780
00:33:10,716 --> 00:33:13,822
You only did it one time, and --
wow, a baby.

781
00:33:13,836 --> 00:33:15,583
That's what you get,
folks, for making whoopee.

782
00:33:15,615 --> 00:33:16,832
You're going to be a mother.

783
00:33:16,846 --> 00:33:19,000
When the doctor told me,
I just started throwing up.

784
00:33:19,017 --> 00:33:20,470
Well, you had morning sickness.

785
00:33:20,486 --> 00:33:22,203
This was a different
kind of throwing up.

786
00:33:22,218 --> 00:33:24,192
This was the kind of
throwing up that you do

787
00:33:24,206 --> 00:33:26,322
when you have to do
something that you can't do.

788
00:33:26,336 --> 00:33:27,911
You're going to be
a great mother.

789
00:33:27,926 --> 00:33:29,703
Maybe someday, but not now.

790
00:33:29,717 --> 00:33:32,053
I have a picture in my
head of me as a mother.

791
00:33:32,067 --> 00:33:34,233
You know, I can imagine it,
and in that picture,

792
00:33:34,246 --> 00:33:36,462
I'm wearing a skirt and heels,
and my hair is up in a bun.

793
00:33:36,495 --> 00:33:40,401
And I'm pushing one of those really
fancy british baby carriages

794
00:33:40,415 --> 00:33:42,621
that are called silver
surfers or something.

795
00:33:42,636 --> 00:33:44,941
Very Madonna in her
british-mommy phase.

796
00:33:44,956 --> 00:33:47,492
When I'm a mom,
I'll be calm and wise

797
00:33:47,506 --> 00:33:49,533
and have my act together.

798
00:33:49,545 --> 00:33:52,231
I am not calm and not wise,

799
00:33:52,247 --> 00:33:54,252
and I really,
really don't have my act together.

800
00:33:54,265 --> 00:33:57,131
You don't have to wear heels
and push a pram to be a mother.

801
00:33:57,147 --> 00:33:58,443
A pram! See?

802
00:33:58,456 --> 00:34:00,061
I didn't even remember
the word pram.

803
00:34:00,076 --> 00:34:01,371
Mothers know the word pram.

804
00:34:01,386 --> 00:34:03,092
Mothers don't have to
know the word pram.

805
00:34:03,105 --> 00:34:04,493
Yes! Yes, they do!

806
00:34:04,506 --> 00:34:05,780
They have to know
all sorts of things.

807
00:34:05,816 --> 00:34:08,593
They have to know what to
do when your baby is crying

808
00:34:08,608 --> 00:34:10,141
and how to change a diaper

809
00:34:10,156 --> 00:34:13,223
And how to use your wrist to
test if the bottle is too hot.

810
00:34:13,237 --> 00:34:15,012
Why the wrist? I don't know.
I have no idea.

811
00:34:15,028 --> 00:34:17,323
I think because it's handy,
no pun intended,

812
00:34:17,338 --> 00:34:20,213
and it's sensitive.
Wrists are sensitive.

813
00:34:20,228 --> 00:34:22,793
It's just one false move,
one misstep,

814
00:34:22,805 --> 00:34:25,613
and I'll ruin it.
I'm still making mistakes, Rory.

815
00:34:25,628 --> 00:34:26,933
Example "a" -- I'm pregnant.

816
00:34:26,947 --> 00:34:29,290
I can't be making mistakes
when I'm a mother.

817
00:34:29,307 --> 00:34:31,730
I'm not the person I need to
be to be able to do this.

818
00:34:31,747 --> 00:34:33,452
I'm not perfect yet.
I'm so not perfect.

819
00:34:33,467 --> 00:34:35,141
You don't have to be perfect.

820
00:34:35,156 --> 00:34:37,700
I mean,
even Gwyneth Paltrow makes mistakes,

821
00:34:37,718 --> 00:34:39,183
like "Shallow Hal"

822
00:34:39,197 --> 00:34:41,073
and that other movie
that nobody saw

823
00:34:41,087 --> 00:34:42,671
where she played a stewardess.

824
00:34:42,685 --> 00:34:44,571
So who's perfect? Nobody.

825
00:34:44,588 --> 00:34:46,420
Not even mothers.

826
00:34:46,447 --> 00:34:48,013
Yeah.

827
00:34:49,108 --> 00:34:50,923
I'm scared.

828
00:34:50,937 --> 00:34:54,152
I know you are,
but you can do this.

829
00:34:54,167 --> 00:34:56,641
First of all, you are great.

830
00:34:56,656 --> 00:34:59,213
And second of all,
you have nine long months

831
00:34:59,226 --> 00:35:01,750
to study about
bottles and wrists.

832
00:35:01,768 --> 00:35:03,302
That's true.

833
00:35:03,315 --> 00:35:06,692
And, already,
you are way ahead of a lot of people

834
00:35:06,708 --> 00:35:08,890
as far as parenting skills go.
Like Britney.

835
00:35:08,906 --> 00:35:11,080
Britney Spears does not know
which end of a baby goes up.

836
00:35:11,118 --> 00:35:13,270
And Courtney Love?
She's no June Cleaver.

837
00:35:13,287 --> 00:35:15,662
Yeah, I bet I could be a better
mother than Courtney Love.

838
00:35:15,677 --> 00:35:18,102
My sock drawer could be a better
mother than Courtney Love.

839
00:35:18,115 --> 00:35:19,532
But, yes,
of course you would be.

840
00:35:19,548 --> 00:35:22,631
And Michael Jackson --
you know not to name a child "Blanket."

841
00:35:22,645 --> 00:35:23,623
I do know that.

842
00:35:23,636 --> 00:35:26,423
Do not name your baby
after an inanimate object.

843
00:35:26,436 --> 00:35:29,162
See? Way ahead of the pack.

844
00:35:29,175 --> 00:35:31,531
Yeah. Hey...

845
00:35:31,545 --> 00:35:36,541
I wonder if Blanket ever met
Tom and Katie's baby, Pillow.

846
00:35:36,558 --> 00:35:38,381
Yeah, that would be
a perfect playdate.

847
00:35:38,396 --> 00:35:41,570
Yeah, when it's nap time,
they would be totally set.

848
00:35:41,586 --> 00:35:44,720
And then they could invite
Gwyneth's Apple over afterward

849
00:35:44,737 --> 00:35:46,131
for a little snack.

850
00:35:46,255 --> 00:35:49,862
Banjo, Rachel Griffiths' baby,
could play for them.

851
00:35:49,878 --> 00:35:53,612
And then they could all jump
in Mia Farrow's Satchel

852
00:35:53,626 --> 00:35:56,393
and make fun of, uh...
what's his face?

853
00:35:56,405 --> 00:35:59,102
- Oh, Pilot Inspektor Lee.
- Yeah.

854
00:36:04,157 --> 00:36:06,302
Little more time, looks like.

855
00:36:06,317 --> 00:36:08,740
Can I set you up with another
white russian there, Luke?

856
00:36:08,756 --> 00:36:10,152
One was plenty, thank you.

857
00:36:10,167 --> 00:36:11,552
I can't believe it's not ready.

858
00:36:11,567 --> 00:36:13,403
I thought for sure
it'd be ready by now.

859
00:36:13,416 --> 00:36:15,192
I'm so sorry, Luke.
You must be starving.

860
00:36:15,208 --> 00:36:16,460
Don't worry about it.

861
00:36:16,478 --> 00:36:18,713
Maybe we should start with
a little first course.

862
00:36:18,726 --> 00:36:20,222
Let me see what I have in here.

863
00:36:20,237 --> 00:36:23,213
So what exactly are you making
that cooks for this long?

864
00:36:23,225 --> 00:36:24,731
Tuna loaf.

865
00:36:24,796 --> 00:36:25,790
Tuna loaf.

866
00:36:25,806 --> 00:36:27,450
That sounds amazing.

867
00:36:27,467 --> 00:36:29,772
Well, it's very
thoughtful of you.

868
00:36:29,786 --> 00:36:32,052
- Jello cups!
- Score.

869
00:36:32,068 --> 00:36:36,592
Well, anyway,
invention is the mother of necessity.

870
00:36:38,487 --> 00:36:40,621
Eat your jello course.

871
00:36:41,077 --> 00:36:44,562
So it's not surprising,
you know?

872
00:36:44,958 --> 00:36:45,882
What's not?

873
00:36:45,896 --> 00:36:49,233
You and Lorelai breaking up.
I mean, that's not much of a surprise.

874
00:36:49,245 --> 00:36:51,492
Yeah. I don't know.

875
00:36:51,505 --> 00:36:54,590
I mean, I love Lorelai,
but the two of you were...

876
00:36:54,606 --> 00:36:55,800
Were what?

877
00:36:55,817 --> 00:36:57,283
You were never in sync.

878
00:36:57,295 --> 00:36:58,830
I don't mean that in a bad way.

879
00:36:58,846 --> 00:37:00,813
What do you mean,
we were never in sync?

880
00:37:00,825 --> 00:37:04,372
Okay, for one thing,
you never really moved in together.

881
00:37:04,387 --> 00:37:05,992
You wanted to,
but you never did.

882
00:37:06,005 --> 00:37:08,062
You were in two
different places.

883
00:37:08,076 --> 00:37:09,781
Well, there was a
logistical thing.

884
00:37:09,796 --> 00:37:12,663
And then,
when you found out you had a daughter,

885
00:37:12,678 --> 00:37:14,080
you never told her.

886
00:37:14,095 --> 00:37:15,893
That's not normal, Luke.

887
00:37:15,907 --> 00:37:19,642
That's not how people in a
healthy relationship act.

888
00:37:19,657 --> 00:37:22,191
It's like that
space-time-continuum thing.

889
00:37:22,205 --> 00:37:24,570
You're on a plane over here,

890
00:37:24,585 --> 00:37:26,712
and she's on this
plane over there,

891
00:37:26,726 --> 00:37:31,193
and you were both never here
nor there at the same time.

892
00:37:31,208 --> 00:37:32,630
It's like string theory.

893
00:37:32,648 --> 00:37:34,463
String theory?
What do you know about string theory?

894
00:37:34,497 --> 00:37:36,373
Don't underestimate me, Luke.
I read.

895
00:37:36,388 --> 00:37:38,261
And I watch
"Battlestar Galactica."

896
00:37:38,278 --> 00:37:41,723
Look, Lorelai and I
just did not work out.

897
00:37:41,736 --> 00:37:43,752
You were on different planes.
It could have worked out

898
00:37:43,788 --> 00:37:47,312
if there was a wormhole between
your plane and her plane.

899
00:37:47,327 --> 00:37:49,200
We didn't need a wormhole.

900
00:37:49,215 --> 00:37:51,352
It was like that
movie with, um,

901
00:37:51,367 --> 00:37:52,793
Keanu Reeves and
Sandra Bullock.

902
00:37:52,808 --> 00:37:53,673
- Exactly!
- Yeah.

903
00:37:53,686 --> 00:37:55,620
Oh, yes! Exactly, exactly!

904
00:37:55,637 --> 00:37:57,520
You're living in
the same house, man,

905
00:37:57,536 --> 00:37:59,991
but you are a
couple years apart

906
00:38:00,008 --> 00:38:02,002
In the space-time continuum.

907
00:38:02,015 --> 00:38:03,612
What house? It was a bus.

908
00:38:03,628 --> 00:38:07,133
Oh! I thought you were
talking about "Speed."

909
00:38:07,748 --> 00:38:09,291
"Speed" applies, too.

910
00:38:09,306 --> 00:38:11,152
Lorelai and I didn't break up

911
00:38:11,165 --> 00:38:15,430
because we weren't on the same
place in a space-time continuum

912
00:38:15,447 --> 00:38:16,883
or because there
weren't any wormholes.

913
00:38:16,916 --> 00:38:19,651
We broke up because we
weren't right for each other.

914
00:38:19,667 --> 00:38:21,960
Okay, it wasn't space.
It wasn't time.

915
00:38:22,226 --> 00:38:25,052
It was us, okay?
We didn't belong together.

916
00:38:25,067 --> 00:38:26,882
We never really...

917
00:38:26,945 --> 00:38:29,033
belonged together.

918
00:38:29,738 --> 00:38:31,823
We wanted to, but...

919
00:38:31,835 --> 00:38:33,761
we never did.

920
00:38:33,905 --> 00:38:35,733
That's it.

921
00:38:40,648 --> 00:38:43,213
I am so excited.

922
00:38:49,706 --> 00:38:51,292
It's cold.

923
00:38:52,247 --> 00:38:55,343
The oven's cold.
The oven's broken.

924
00:38:55,358 --> 00:38:57,013
Oh, man, still?

925
00:38:57,025 --> 00:38:59,602
We forgot to fix the oven.

926
00:38:59,617 --> 00:39:02,021
Oh, Luke, I am so sorry.

927
00:39:02,038 --> 00:39:05,173
I really wanted to make
you a home-cooked meal.

928
00:39:05,185 --> 00:39:07,742
I'll go the store.
I'll get something to make for us.

929
00:39:07,758 --> 00:39:08,973
Oh, Luke.

930
00:39:08,988 --> 00:39:10,872
That's okay, really.
I don't mind.

931
00:39:11,005 --> 00:39:13,302
I'll get us some stuff and
make us a home-cooked meal.

932
00:39:13,317 --> 00:39:14,381
Your burners work?

933
00:39:14,396 --> 00:39:17,070
Yeah, they work.
Okay, good. Great.

934
00:39:17,088 --> 00:39:19,102
At least you'll have
a home-cooked meal.

935
00:39:19,118 --> 00:39:21,160
Okay, I'll be back in a bit.

936
00:39:35,515 --> 00:39:36,913
Hey.

937
00:39:37,886 --> 00:39:39,871
Well, I guess both of
us avoiding Doose's

938
00:39:39,887 --> 00:39:41,782
didn't work out that well, huh?

939
00:39:41,798 --> 00:39:43,463
Well, I wasn't
avoiding Doose's.

940
00:39:43,477 --> 00:39:46,331
Just the closest market
to Liz and T.J.'s house.

941
00:39:46,345 --> 00:39:48,410
Right. Because you're
not affected by this.

942
00:39:48,428 --> 00:39:49,811
You're not mad. I forgot.

943
00:39:49,827 --> 00:39:54,252
No, I...I was mad.
I was really mad.

944
00:39:54,266 --> 00:39:56,402
Yeah, I kind of figured.

945
00:39:57,637 --> 00:39:59,502
I know I was a jerk.

946
00:39:59,517 --> 00:40:01,672
I was just... mad.

947
00:40:01,685 --> 00:40:03,580
I was the jerk.
I was such a jerk.

948
00:40:03,596 --> 00:40:05,912
I'm not mad anymore. Well...

949
00:40:06,585 --> 00:40:08,822
That's not true, but...

950
00:40:08,838 --> 00:40:11,871
I won't be,
you know, eventually.

951
00:40:12,947 --> 00:40:14,663
Really.

952
00:40:14,675 --> 00:40:16,312
Yeah?

953
00:40:16,716 --> 00:40:18,292
Yeah.

954
00:40:19,606 --> 00:40:21,313
Okay.

955
00:40:24,027 --> 00:40:26,533
It's not your fault.
It's not my fault.

956
00:40:26,545 --> 00:40:29,010
It's just,
we're not right together, you know?

957
00:40:29,027 --> 00:40:30,541
You're you, I'm me.

958
00:40:30,555 --> 00:40:34,350
I just want to stop pretending
we're something else.

959
00:40:34,995 --> 00:40:37,071
You don't belong with me.

960
00:40:37,085 --> 00:40:40,081
You belong with someone like
Christopher, and I just...

961
00:40:40,328 --> 00:40:43,731
Let's just stop
fighting it, okay?

962
00:40:43,745 --> 00:40:45,573
And you go back to
being Lorelai Gilmore.

963
00:40:45,586 --> 00:40:49,003
And I'll go back to being the guy
in the diner who pours your coffee.

964
00:40:54,575 --> 00:40:56,742
My hand's getting cold.

965
00:40:56,807 --> 00:40:58,272
Okay.

966
00:40:58,368 --> 00:40:59,930
Okay.

967
00:41:53,335 --> 00:41:57,203
Transcript : Raceman
Subtitles : Willow's Team
www.forom.com