Dear children,
this is the season...
...when nice hedgehogs prepare their hikes.
Alas, the routs they tread carelessly...
...cross very often with busy highways,
full of dangerous, speeding vehicles.
Drivers make bloody mincemeat of these nice creatures.
Nevertheless, it doesn't have to be like that.
A little bit of good will would be enough to...
What was that?
Did we hit a dog?
I guess it was a porcupine.
What porcupine?
You know, a big hedgehog.
Grucha, are you really such an idiot?
There are no animals like these in this country.
There are wisents, beavers, shit, elks...
...foxes, wolves, martens, horses...
...otters, weasels, hares - these animals live in Poland.
It doesn't matter what was it - it's gone anyway.
Now you're wrong, Grucha.
Do you know what reincarnation is?
Have you ever heard such a long word in your life?
In simple words,
it means the man is reborn after his death in a different shape,
for example, as an animal.
Perhaps you just drove into a member of your family,
your aunt or your uncle.
No shit, my uncle is alive, he works on the telly.
And the suitcase?
What are you thinking about, Grucha?
Reincarnation makes you laugh.
Your problem,
but it's an old, wise religion, not for a loser like you.
What you'll be in your next life depends on your present life.
Some people become tigers, falcons or leopards.
And others?
As for you, I don't think it will be anything stunning.
A duck - that's all you may be.
Why are you eating my chips? Can't you buy some?
I'm not hungry.
If you're not hungry, leave them alone.
And if you are, go and buy some.
Do you see what this food makes out of your mind?
Apart from this hamburger & chips, no world exists for you.
It's just a piece of a fucking potato...
...and you're behaving as if I was harming your mum.
I'm going to take a piss, cos I don't want to watch it.
You, we have a deal.
What? What deal?
- Give us your suitcase. - I have no key.
Bad for you.
One moment please,
you won't cut my hand off because of a suitcase?
What would I look like?
At least asymmetrically.
I don't want to be a cripple for the rest of my life.
I have a family, holidays plans.
I'm a businessman,
I need this hand to work with my laptop, to scratch my ass.
I must have the key somewhere here.
Then better find it, you wanker, quick.
All right.
I'm sorry.
For fuck's sake, man.
What the fuck have you done, you bastard?
Stop whining.
Boys don't cry.
BOYS DON'T CRY
It was supposed to be so beautiful...
This is Kuba Brenner's answering machine.
Please leave the message after the tone.
Kuba, I know you're not home at the moment,
you have an exam...
Oh fuck.
... l'm calling you right now,
because I have to tell you something very important.
Perhaps I should do it face to face, but I am afraid of your reaction.
I want to tell you that I'm leaving you.
Thank God.
I know it's hard for you, but that's life.
Don't blame yourself, I'm just like that,
a little bit crazy, eccentric, unpredictable...
I don't want you to suffer,
but I'm sure you've never thought we'll be together forever.
Never!
I've met someone. His name is Jarek.
He seems to be my other half.
Fucking hell!
I don't want to hurt you, Kuba.
You have to be strong.
I'm sure you'll meet many women to replace me.
Hey, you haven't menetioned my father yet!
Your father was a great conductor, and you?
You can't take care of your life.
As Jarek says, you have to be a shark in your life,
if you don't want other sharks to catch you.
And Jarek is a shark and he's shrewd too...
But why am I telling you this?
Kuba, you have to be strong.
Don't do anything stupid.
I loved you.
Where the fuck is my 300 million?
Where, the...
There are more important things in life than your 300 million.
600 million, for example.
Have you said goodbye to that artistic shit?
I don't understand why I couldn't call from your phone.
You won't call your ex guys from my mobile, babe.
Get the fuck in.
Don't do it, I beg you.
WRITTEN BY MIKOLAJ KORZYNSKI
MUSIC BY LIROY & SZYMON WYSOCKI
Hi.
Hi, mate. What's up?
And what do you think?
I've told you, sell this junk.
Here, but I want to have it back till 5 o'clock.
Thanks.
ACADEMY OF MUSIC
Kuba, do you know what time it is?
I'm so sorry.
There is our star!
Mr Brenner seems to choose the hour of the exam on a whim.
I'm sorry, sir, I couldn't come earlier,
I had to help a blind man to cross the street...
Sort of an accident.
But I can take up the exam anytime.
That's great, but the exam is over.
Do you understand? An accident.
Come here to repeat it during the fall session.
But, sir, we can go back and ask Kuba...
The exam is over.
But he is... Kuba for sure... It's...
Dear colleague, this forbearance for the students is unacceptable.
They might think we're here for them.
DIRECTED BY OLAF LUBASZENKO
Rudolf, do something.
Yes...
I can prescribe you something new, but I think it wouldn't help anyway.
So why should I take something that won't help me?
Right.
The truth is there's no efficacious cure against acne.
Do you have a girlfriend?
As everyone.
Well, for example, I don't.
No, it's not...
It's that I mean not really...
It's just that... I know a lot of them quite well...
Some of them - not so well, and some...
...not at all... By sight...
Do you have sexual intercourses with women?
Well, or with men, it's all the same.
Maybe for you it's all the same.
I'm sorry...
Hello? Magda?
Hi, Oskar speaking.
You don't know what Oskar, do you?
You were at the 13 club a month ago, do you remember?
And there was that handsome blonde guy picking you up.
He was wearing a black sweater.
He asked you if he could sit at your table.
He had dimples when he smiled.
And he was there with a mate.
Exactly, and I was sitting two tables farther.
And they told me that you were direct and eager,
and I thought that maybe...
Hello? Hello?
What's this?
This is a steak, sir.
I can see that!
It was supposed to be with chips, wasn't it?
I think you've made a mistake, sir.
What have I done?
Do you want to tell me anything?
Take it!
If I wanted without chips,
I would have told "I want one without chips", no?
You're so tough!
I'm a man of the city.
You have such a strong psyche.
Fucking strong and all.
I always look straight into the eyes, when I talk.
I never make unnecessary moves.
First ten words,
first five gestures of a bloke...
...are enough for me to know there is fear in his psyche.
He doesn't know yet that his pants will be full soon.
And you know why?
Because his frail psyche has sent an e-mail
inviting the coming shit for a party in the pants.
Incredible.
I'm going to the loo for a while.
What do you mean? A whore?
It's simple.
You want my advice, here it is.
Go to the brothel.
You know, I think a prostitute wouldn't be into me.
Man, it's you who should like her, not the other way round.
It's her job.
But I couldn't stand the thought she's doing it only for money.
You want to cure your spots, don't you?
Think of it as a medicine, as a visit in the pharmacy.
No.
No what?
I won't go.
I think that our national team has recently developed a lot.
Krzysiu, I wouldn't exaggerate that much.
I think they were far better when we were young.
Perhaps.
"40 year old Basia with big breasts"?
Not for me.
"Quiet housewife, full service"?
"Pretty Jacek, intimately". No.
"Depilated Krysia", no, this one doesn't fit.
I've got something for you.
"I'm looking for a master who'll do with me anything he wants.
Offers should include a short training plan".
Are you mad?
Maybe I should visit a healer instead.
I don't know, some Kashpirovsky...
I would not advise it.
I visited a Hare from Tibet.
I wanted him to fill me with energy.
The bloke touched my nape, teased my thighs,
and took 1.5 million for that.
And?
My nape ached as fuck and I had a rash on my thighs.
Know, I have a headache...
...when I think I have to give someone so much money.
This is a difference between us, you don't think it well enough.
What you consider a ceiling, seems a floor to me.
I count the suitcases we can earn for this fraud.
Be careful not to count too fucking much.
We've arrived and we've got the money.
They've arrived.
- Pity it wasn't me who made it up. - Or me...
The blokes are smart.
They must have a good trade route,
and a sure client,
but they keep their mouths shut.
I would give a lot to take control over this business.
I could talk to them my way, and then bury in the forest.
Don't disregard them, Stronghand.
We'll do them my way.
I think I don't understand you, boss.
That's why I'm your boss, and not the other way round.
GOOD NEWS CHARITY FOUNDATION
POLES FROM KAZAKHSTAN AID
Remember, a half of the money is mine!
Chill out, Grucha.
We pay them 20% of the value and we get beautiful, new cars.
If we smuggle them over the border,
you'll be fucking happy for the rest of your life.
When will we pay the rest?
The rest of the money? Never.
In the East the cars will disappear together with us.
Hello? Black Lotus Agency?
My friend and I would like to order two girls.
Why two?
You won't leave me, will you? You're more experienced.
You tell me it's brilliant, encourage me, then withdraw.
I just have no money, mate.
But I do, you're invited.
Hello?
I'd like to order an uncommon girl of a classical beauty.
She should have sapphire eyes, sensual lips, graceful moves,
not too pushy smile, well-shaped breasts.
Concluding, she should be quintessence of feminity.
Yes.
And the other? Whatever.
What do you mean by "whatever"?
Have you visited Dad?
How is he?
Good.
Tell him that I'll send the money next week.
Yes. I have to finish. See you. Bye.
Anything for my boss?
No gangster films, he's watched everything.
Excuse me.
I have to go, they call me to work.
And this one?
"Death in Venice" - what is it?
Something new, I haven't watched it yet,
but I guess the subject is similar.
Do you have a condom?
I do.
Lend it to me.
But I have only one.
Never mind, give it to me, you can do it without.
But I've got it on.
Have you been wearing it the whole day?
Who are you?
Lady.
Oskar, what girls did you order?
This is Lady, my uncle's son, he lives here.
Do you have any trouble in your relationship?
Won't you ask him how he is?
All the same, he skates and smokes pot.
Hi! I'm Angelica and this is Samantha.
And you?
And I am a Lonely Planet tourist guide.
Hi, ladies.
Can I have your member ID?
Here you are.
BLACK LOTUS CLUB MEMBER CARD
All right.
The ladies will stay here for an hour.
The price is 100, two ladies cost 200.
Another 100 for anything freaky.
The tips are your own business.
There won't be anything freaky.
We're normal.
Yeah.
Maybe I should pay now.
Don't bother, we trust our exclusive clients.
Thank you, have a nice evening.
Bye, girls.
No, there's no hurry.
Maybe we should talk first.
What the fuck about?
I don't know, about your job or...
A job's a job,
generally, when the bloke is on me, I think about other things, no?
For example, shit, lady Diana, a new washing machine,
Wheel of Fortune applications.
And if the client is really ugly,
I close my eyes and imagine myself being fucked by Di Caprio.
Lady, go to your room, I need some intimacy.
Can I have a cigarette?
A cigarette? Yeah, sure.
What do you want to do?
When I finish the university, I'll work in commercial graphics.
I mean, what do you want to do now?
And you?
You're really tense.
Relax a bit.
I wonder what the parents would tell.
Don't worry about them, they think I'm studying geography.
No, I mean, my parents.
Have you worked for a long time as a who...
As a prost...
In the agency?
For last three days, I've just started.
Is Samantha your real name?
No. Liliana.
My friends call me Lilly.
We should get to know each other better.
Tell me something about you.
I like Italian music.
And the Captain Zbik cartoons.
Do you listen to classical music sometimes?
Beethoven?
What the fuck do you mean? You start it as a fucking wanker.
Do you want to fuck me or not?
I mean, yes... And not.
Captain Zbik was a cool bloke.
In the "Lighter with a musical box" episode...
...he works out a diamond smuggler band and...
- What are you laughing at? - You're such a weirdo.
You know, up to now, I've only met boring businessmen...
...who've told me about their companies and money.
You're different.
Don't think I tell it to all my clients, but...
...I really like you.
You have a passion.
Is it your first time?
Yes.
What do you want?
The hour's just passed.
But I haven't even unzip my pants yet.
Then you can book another one.
No, I don't have so much money.
And how much would cost... ...let's say, 5 minutes?
You take one more hour or the party's over.
Here you are.
What's this?
As we agreed - 200 zlotys.
The price is in dollars.
Change it into zlotys and you still owe me 630.
No, I don't agree.
You cheat your client.
I won't pay.
We'll see that.
Man, don't be such a materialist.
You should get relaxed.
All right, let's reach an agreement.
200 zlotys and, as a bonus, this priceless Argentinean cactus.
And what the fuck do I need this cactus for?
- You've smashed someone's car. - He'll learn to park in the garage.
And you, mate...
Quiet!
Fuck, it's mine.
Now you owe me 5 times as much! Got it?
I have 100 zlotys in my pocket!
Hey, man, let him loose!
No, don't let me loose, please!
Czesiek, maybe we should take some arts stuff,
this man seems to be made of gold.
No, it's a priceless exhibit,
an African wizard, don't even touch him!
Girls, we're leaving.
Why did I listen to you, Kuba? Why?
Dear God...
You know what?
We'll get the figurine back.
I don't know how and I don't know if we get it back,
but we'll get it back.
I like it.
That's it.
What?
Look at them, the way they move.
These cat-alike moves, these hand gestures...
What would our boys move like that for?
What for, what for?
Not to look like a piece of concrete.
Polish gangster isn't laid back.
He moves like a cart of carbon.
We need a bit of imagination and finesse...
...in this town, sad as fuck.
Isn't it like that, nigger?
Bolec?
I'd prefer you didn't call me "nigger".
Not in the presence of the rest of the boys.
All righty.
Soon all of them will speak this way.
You just need to launch appropriate patterns.
Go on and try, it's easy.
No, better not.
Why not? Go on!
Do you feel it?
I do...
See? It's easy.
Hello?
I can't hear anything.
All right.
Enough, nigger.
Hello?
"Nigger"?
Bolec, are you fucking mad? It's Stronghand speaking.
You'll have a visit.
Are they coming here to put the cable TV on?
He's asking if they're going to put the cable TV on.
Give me this knuckle-head.
Tomorrow at 8 there are coming two blokes from the seaside.
They'll bring me cash.
What cash?
Doesn't matter.
Are they gangsters?
Businessmen.
Is it clear?
Dad, and why are they coming to me...
...and not to you nor to Stronghand?
Because I said so, son.
I have an appointment with them at your club,
but I can be a little bit late.
That's why you have to be nice for them when I'm not there.
You have to make a good ground for business.
But tomorrow I can't!
Why?
Because every Friday I have the gym.
You also have the club and the brothel I've bought for you,
that's why you are going to meet them...
...and organise a party they've never seen in their lives.
That means...
That means shit. Think for a while.
Excuse me?
Take your prettiest birds,
the best alcohol you have...
...and as much snow as you can handle.
Is that clear?
If one of them undoes a tap in the bathroom,
there must be Johnny Walker running out of it, got it?
- If he wants to screw a black girl... - We've no black girls here.
Then paint one of our boys black.
There must be a lot of everything.
And if...
And if they want to go to the Museum of Aviation,
take them to the Museum of Aviation, for fuck's sake!
There are some seaside hard boys coming...
...and I've to show them the way hard boys from here have fun.
I don't know if we should leave them with... Bolec.
He might have problems, if they press him.
If my son wants to be someone in the town,
he can't hang around with the whores all the time.
He'll stay with them for an hour,
he isn't a wisent, he's no protected spieces.
Could you get up and open the door?
I turned the telly down the day before yesterday.
Does any smart cunt live here?
A smart cunt? No, I do.
So give me a five.
Is it an organised action?
The action is for you to give me a five.
Thanks, mate.
Hey, mate!
Could you stop blowing up your pipe, while we're studying?
It distracts us a bit, you know.
I'm sorry.
The dean's asking you to come in.
- Do you know why I've called you? - I don't want to guess.
I have two news for you.
The bad one first, please.
Both are bad.
You have not passed the exam in the main instrument,
that's why I have decided...
...that you will not represent our college at the contest in France.
But this is my life opportunity!
I've been working on this programme for half a year!
Lt'll teach you some modesty, son.
When I was your age, I worked giving classes.
The next contest's in 4 years, it'll be too late for me by then.
Enough, Brenner, you're not the centre of the universe.
Why do you have such aversion towards my pesron?
You studied with my father.
It's not aversion, I just don't like you.
I think you've no talent.
Your father was also overrated as a conductor.
He got famous, because he was smart and had a pretty face.
One Brenner in the history of music is enough.
This is the other news.
You don't need to repeat the exam, you've already suspended it.
I guess you're right.
- I'm glad that we agree. - So am I.
My father often mentioned you...
...when he told me about his student life.
Did he?
He said that, when they'd gone to pick up some birds...
...and taken Zajaczek with them, they couldn't pick up anything.
Get out of here!
Go and find another profession, son.
Don't call me "son".
You aren't my father.
Now you have to piss, understood?
When the guests come, you have to disappear,
they cannot see us together.
Hi there!
- I'm Bolec. - Andrzej.
- Your hands are sweating. - I've just washed them.
Fred.
What's up in the big world, boys?
What, don't you read newspapers?
No, I don't...
Come on, boys, come in.
The boss hasn't come yet, but it doesn't matter.
We'll have a drink, then birds come in...
Or the other way round...
BLACK LOTUS
'Morning!
It's my pitbull, he's really aggressive.
I've to close him up, cos if he doesn't know someone,
he attacks him at once.
I like dangerous dogs.
Don't get nervous, the boss will be here in a moment.
Everything's cool.
Do you like black rhythms?
It's a cool track.
- Want a line? - No, not yet.
Maybe later.
Ah, what the hell...
I'm sorry.
I felt like sneezing.
You're not angry with me, are you?
I won't kill you.
Yet.
Look at this, bro!
Look at their moves!
Don't you think that Polish boys need to get laid a bit?
Notice these cat moves.
The black could teach us a lot.
"Coco Jumbo and go ahead", this is my motto.
Good, isn't it?
Sometimes I wish I'd been born black.
Hey, boys, would you like to watch a movie?
I watch a few movies each day.
Chases, shootings, gang wars - this is my life.
I have a new movie which is fucking cool.
"Death In Venice".
Sounds cool, doesn't it?
Easy, it'll start on soon.
You, what's your name? Because I've forgotten.
Kolec? Stolec?
Bolec.
So, listen to me carefully, Bolek.
Have you been to the States?
- No, I haven't. - Exactly, and I...
...know someone, who has.
And he's told me a few things.
Do you know where the black came to America from?
From Africa.
Exactly.
The slave traders brought them from Africa.
Do you think it's easy to land on the African beach,
catch an agile, strong nigger in a net,
and take him away over the ocean?
- I guess not. - Of course not.
They managed to do it, cos they took away only those...
...who weren't able to get the fuck away from the net...
...or were the most stupid knuckle-heads of the tribe and...
...the chief sold them for a box of fags, cos they were no use anyway.
All those losers went to America, got married, made children.
The world went on, appeared computers, amphetamine, planes...
It doesn't matter, cos their hearts keep pumping the same blood.
They're children of a man who got caught in the net on his own yard.
That's why I don't think our boys lack getting laid, understood?
Grucha, open up the suitcase.
It's a lot of money.
Your boss has pissed us off, hasn't come to take it in person.
He'll be here soon.
Don't interrupt me, while I'm trying to gather my thoughts.
I've swallowed this insult, because I've thought,
the most important thing right now is to make a deal.
No problem, let's make a deal.
You have a pitbull that looks like a dachshund.
You swing like a fucking resus.
You admire Mr Congo Bongo.
You waste a line of my friend's best snow and, in the end,
you play us a movie about a man in a boat.
And you want us to make a deal?
Exactly.
Who the fuck are you, you freak?
It's true, maybe not everything is as it should be,
but we can fix it up.
The girls'll come here soon and we'll make this deal.
After what I've seen here,
I don't know if I would like to make shit on you.
You have something smudged on your hand.
Good evening.
I'm sorry I'm disturbing you. I've come for the African wizard.
Who the fuck is he?
I don't know him.
But he knows me.
I don't think so.
I mean, the wizard,
I've come to get it back, I've brought the money.
Is any loser allowed to get in here like that?
- Got a gun? - What?
A gun! Yeah, I do.
Then shoot him.
What do you mean - shoot?
Just like that.
Here? Now?
With everybody present?
If it may help you, I'm going to take a piss.
I'll come here later.
You, Bolek, do you have guts?
Then shoot!
But we misunderstand one another, I don't know what you mean.
I'm going to show you what we mean...
What the fuck did you do?
You've made a big mistake.
You wanted to fuck Fred up, then Fred will fuck you up.
It'll heal soon!
I didn't mean to!
Now I'm really fucking angry!
Wait, don't do it!
It was an accident, I... Oh God, what's this?
- Where? - There!
The boys have started.
The suitcase!
Don't do it to me, please!
Everything all right?
This guy had a gun...
...and, before we relised,
he'd started firing at us as at ducks.
We brought the cash as we'd agreed.
It's not my problem that someone stole it in your club.
Easy, don't be so nervous.
My mate got shot and my money got fucked off in your club.
Is it this famous Polish hospitality?
Someone has to pay for it.
We'll find the boy.
Here, none's wallet can increase 1.5 thousand without my knowledge.
- Listen to me... - You...
...listen to me.
What's been is gone.
I could say, "No money, no stuff."
But I want to make business, not fart loudly.
Give me a week to sort it out.
We'll find the boy and the money.
And if you don't?
Then I'll send the transport.
We have to agree our version.
Tell me, madam,
but honestly...
...why did you kill Mr Rolski?
Tadek...
It is not this case.
ATTENTION BAD DOGS
INSTITUTE OF MOTHER & CHILD
The whole showbusiness is one big pile of shit.
Sweet Jesus.
Are you the one from the shooting in the club?
Why?
I have a good news for you. Your friend is alive.
- What friend? - You know...
The one with the hole in his head.
We'd already put him into the mortuary,
when someone more astute noticed the deceased had the pulse.
He had a lot of luck.
The bullet hit the titanium plate...
...he had instead of the front lobe.
What is he, a fucking Robocop?
Such fillings are used, for example, after the accidents.
This plate changed the bullet's trajectory,
nevertheless, the shockwave was so strong...
...that it could've caused various brain functions disturbances.
Has he told anything about me?
He's in coma.
When will he wake up?
Maybe tomorrow, maybe in six months time,
we do not know.
Could I stay for a while with my friend?
Of course.
It's you, mother...
...fucker.
You spend a lot of time with him.
He must be really important for you.
- Your friend? - Yes.
- My best mate. - Why is his face so red?
He's got pollen count.
When he wakes up, he'll have to change his life style radically.
You won't go chasing for girls together anymore.
No alcohol,
not even mentioning stronger stimulants.
You mean, drugs?
We don't want your friend to become a vegetable, do we?
No, no way.
Tell you what,
I've enough of your mother-fucking ass-licking scallywag Fred.
He calls me everyday at 6 am to ask about his money.
Even in Wronki none woke me up so early.
Stronghand's sent spies down the city,
but none can tell who that boy works for.
None. He's just an accidental loser.
This accidental loser killed two people...
...and was about to send you to the other side.
It was me who shot Grucha.
You?
I didn't want to.
I mean, I killed him, but he's alive.
He's in hospital, in coma. So, there's no problem.
1.5 million less means nothing to you?
Look.
Listen carefully to what I'm going to tell you.
You've made big shit and you have to clean it up yourself.
Thanks to me, son, by now...
...you've been sitting in your little club...
...watching movies about niggers on your video.
But I won't live forever.
I can't correct your faults.
And I can't be embarassed in the town because of you.
It's time for you...
...to take care of your business...
...and leave your warm whore-hole.
I'll tell you what you're supposed to do.
First, Grucha cannot wake up.
I'm already working on it.
Second, the suitcase cannot get found.
I don't get it.
I want to take control over their business.
To achieve it, I must get to know who, apart from Fred, is in it,
check out their smuggle route, find the client.
Stay close to Fred, confuse the trails.
And call him every day at 5:30 am.
We must mislead him to gain some time.
And if you localise that boy, kill him.
Dad, and when will I kill someone?
You won't have to do it anymore, son.
Dad, you've never told me I have a brother.
Stronghand took him last year as a hostage,
his parents didn't want to pay the ransom, so he stayed with us.
Surprise!
What do you want?
Your figurine? Yes. Or maybe you don't want it anymore?
You're checking me out, and they're waiting outside.
Oskar, what's wrong with you? Are you unwell? Who's waiting?
You said you wanted to see me again,
I've got holidays, so I've stepped in.
To my house.
I'm so sorry to have caused such pain to you,
to have brought your figurine and...
And what?
And none's sent you?
Who could've sent me?
So you've stepped here like that, to visit me.
Look, I don't know anyone in this town.
You seemed nice to me, I thought that we could...
I don't know what I expected, coming here.
No, I think not today. Maybe tomorrow.
Think about it.
Excuse me.
How's Grucha?
He's awake.
But it seems his head is fucked up,
he can't remember the shooting.
He's staring at the nothingness. I don't know what he sees there.
Come on, look at him.
Excuse me, doctor.
He's got Whiskas in his head instead of brains.
And your pimp... He can't remember anything either.
We have to make a good-looking man out of him.
They're going to look for you until they find you.
They have their ways. Computers, registration offices...
What I'm going to tell you might be a bit unpleasant,
but you have no chance to escape.
Besides, I think there's no point, they'll find you everywhere.
Human life means nothing to them.
They're bad people, Kuba, besides, they're professionals.
They can't make mistakes.
And you are their mistake, Kuba.
It's not your fault, you just found yorself...
...in an inappropriate place in an inappropriate time...
...and you'll have to pay for that.
I was a mistake in someone's fucked-up life, too.
I've just needed some words of comfort.
Well, then I'll lend you a gun, just in case.
I'm not a criminal, I'm a fiddler, I don't shoot people.
You have to get your car back.
I'm afraid of going back there.
Do you like it?
A real beauty, isn't it?
- What is it? - Jericho, 941 FB, calibre 9.
It was designed by Jews to transport Arabs...
...to the other side of Suez Channel.
Does it have any defects?
The kick is so strong it can smash your elbow joints.
Do you have anything else?
Kuba, what are you doing?
What do you need this gun for?
I thought you were at the university.
I've come to take the rest of my stuff.
You are really unwell.
You seem to be a piece of human shit.
If I'd known you would take our split so badly,
I wouldn't have been with you at all.
Don't blackmail me with your despair.
It's all over.
I won't come back.
You don't want to shoot yourself because of me, do you?
You're pathetic. Mentally frail.
That's why I am with Jarek.
I feel safe with him.
That's terribly cool.
You might be surprised, but Jarek is a gangster.
Big fish in the city.
We're going to get married.
Recently I've met a few gangsters.
They're very interesting people.
Come on, gangsters and you?
Someone has made fun of you and you've believed it all.
I am a real gangster's girlfriend.
Goodbye, Kuba.
And don't call me.
And I leave your keys here.
Don't you remember anything at all?
No, nothing.
It's normal in case of amnesia.
Unbelievable!
Spice Girls have split! Can you believe it?
Ginger Spice used to eat too much chocolate.
Such a pity, she's a nice bird.
Gosh, a new banana diet!
But if you concentrate a bit, maybe you'll remember something.
I don't get how it's possible not to remember anything.
When I concentrate, I can remember what I was doing,
I don't know, last Monday.
I think that if you had a wee bit of good will...
When I remember, I'll let you know, but right now...
...I have a fucking headache.
We'll go to the club and you'll have a paracetamol.
Well, well, well, what do we have here?
Interesting haircut.
Who cut your hair like this?
The truth, I don't know.
The coin trick?
Do you know more tricks?
Yes, one more.
If I am to kill someone, I tell him something like this:
If it's heads, you win, and I spare your life.
But if it's tails, you lose...
...and I win your death.
And it's always tails.
Attention, losers, I've got an important announcement.
Whose is this black Alfa Romeo that blocks the road for my machine?
It's my friend's. And mine.
Could I ask you a favour, fairy?
Move your little car somewhere.
Well, this is what I really cannot do for you.
But I can do other thing.
You know...
I can take your report...
...but it's a socially harmless act.
How could you let some losers bash you like this?
You are a man of the city, ain't you?
They took me by surprise...
Could you give me your ID, please?
What are you looking like right now?
They shaved your head?
The witnesses claim not only his head was shaved.
Has anyone asked you?
Mister Jaroslaw Dogcunt.
Mind you! Can you see any T at the end?
Then read it carefully.
Jesus...
It's true, there's no T.
So it's Dogcunt without T?
Wait, what Dogcun?
You said your name was Keller.
I did, I did. I say many things.
Do you think I'd ever change my name into Dogcun?
Or that my child could be called like this?
- One paracetemol or two? - Five.
Bon voyage, my friend.
Here you are, your painkillers.
Want some?
With pleasure.
I like it, it has such a unique taste.
That kid, remember?
Before I went to the loo, he'd mentioned a wizard.
Do you associate it with anything?
With Oz.
Let's gather everything together.
The kid said he'd brought the money.
He claimed he knew your bodyguard.
He came to get the wizard back, any conclusion?
Maybe he was insane?
Sane enough to nick the suitcase.
Do you know whose that Volkswagen is?
I haven't seen it before.
Exactly.
It's been here for few days.
I'll have a look at it.
You, Bolec!
I have such a stupid impression of seeing that face.
The face of the guy who shot to me.
It's really stupid.
Have some coke.
Know, I can remember one thing from that night quite clearly.
Yes?
The bird that danced round the pipe...
...when we came here with Fred.
JAKUB BRENNER
Keep it for worse times.
I'm really fucked.
If my father could see it...
You need to relax.
Easy to say, you're not under such a pressure.
I know the world doesn't expect much of me.
My father has achieved a lot, too.
He's the King of the Loo.
Today, son, as I did many years ago,
take a look into this well of the past.
- What can you see? - Shit.
Yes, it's shit. It's the answer.
For thousands of years every civilization, culture and religion,
great war and revolution, the most outstanding people in the world...
...are accompanied by shit.
Do you understand it now? It's life!
You can cheat me, you can cheat a friend,
you can cheat your mummy, but you can't cheat life.
That's why I've understood...
I've understood that I'm going to produce toilets.
And we will be the kings of life, my son.
I can't cheat life, I'm the King of the Loo's son.
It's a high place to achieve.
Fucking high.
Generally, bro, if you have no family to maintain,
you aren't hungry, Tootsie nor Hutu, stuff like that,
you just have to answer one fucking important question:
What do I like doing in my life?
And then start doing it.
Have you answered this question?
Smoking pot.
Is there any profession connected with that?
Ambassador.
I guess in Jamaica.
Not this kind of ambassador.
I meant the kind of Tony Halik.
Imagine how much stuff he smoked with all the tribes he visited.
His work should be followed.
I'll be travelling around the whole world...
...as an ambassador of our country.
I'm Lady. From Poland.
Half of the money was mine.
I knew it wouldn't work.
I have no fucking head to do businesses.
Since I was a little girl I've known God made me for love.
I'm completely different.
I've had to wangle since I was a wee kid.
Know?
That evening when you appeared in the club with your mate, right?
When I saw you for the first time...
I thought you were a cool bloke.
Yeah. I liked you from the first sight, too.
Really?
I've got something for you.
For me?
Close your eyes.
Are you fucking insane?
Close your eyes.
It's a wee present.
A sweater for good luck.
I've made it myself.
Aren't you glad?
- You don't like it. - I like it very much!
So what's the problem?
This sweater is the first thing...
...that I haven't stolen.
Teddy bear, I don't want you to be sad.
If you want I'll tell you a funny story.
Some time ago we went out to work.
It was three kids.
As it turned out later on, they were flat broken.
Are you listening to me?
Yes.
They had no money to pay us and our pimp took...
...kinda... skull, like.
A wizard or something.
But everything in order, cos they were such wide-os.
A wizard?
Where was it?
What are you pulling out?
I've found the bloke that shot to you.
Where've you been?
I was at that girl's from the agency.
I've also found out something.
Be careful with her.
I trust her.
Long time ago I trusted a woman, too.
I would have had my hand cut for her.
And you know what?
And I would have no fucking hand now.
You don't have to tell me.
I think I do have to.
She behaves as if she felt wet when she sees you.
Maybe she likes me.
Are you fucking mad, Grucha?
She's a whore,
she likes the guys that appear on the NBP banknotes.
You have to train her. No exaggerated tenderness.
If she notices she can control you, you're lost, Grucha.
You have to put a harness on her neck!
Polish peasants used to do it up to the 12th century,
they put harnesses on their women necks...
...and ploughed their fields with them!
CONTEMPORARY MUSIC COMPOSING WORKSHOPS
- Normal or reduced? - I'm a friend of Prince's.
What Prince? And you?
And I have a Polsat passport.
You, with the pipe!
I'm looking for Kuba Brenner.
Ask his mates, they're about to finish their gig.
You can't come in, they play a concert.
Mate, I am looking for Kuba.
What Kuba?
Can you stop whining when I'm speaking to you?
Don't pretend to look for something in there.
I'll stop being nice.
Brenner. Jakub Brenner.
I want to send him some scores to consult.
Here is Brenner... Jakub.
I'll write down his address.
I'll remember it.
Dad, I'm fed up with them.
I don't want to follow them all the time.
I don't suit them, this Fred doesn't like me.
You don't have to like them, neither do they.
You have to control the fucking situation!
Add me a neat vodka to this beer.
Hi, smart cunt.
There are lots of people looking for you.
Now you'll pay for the beer...
...give a tip to the bartender and we'll go out in peace.
Got it?
Got it.
I'm paying.
Keep the rest.
I'll tell you one thing:
It's really hard to find a good baby sitter,
but it's much harder to find a good baby.
Listen, I won't tell anything to anyone.
I know, that's what I've brought you here for.
I went there by mistake.
You fucked the suitcase off by mistake, too, didn't you?
I didn't take any suitcase.
You'll tell it to the worms. In the ground. Get off.
Now what?
Now?
You'll dig your own grave.
- With my hands? - Yeah!
I should get a spade or something.
It's small, but it's the only one I have.
You won't kill me, will you? You're not a murderer.
How can you know that?
I saw it in your eyes in the club.
But I will be!
Why?
My dad's asked me to.
You know what pressure it is to be the mafia's godfather's son?
I'm 30 and I still feel as if I was doing my homework.
I can be no wimp.
Even though I would like to...
...go to the park and feed the swans... with a French loaf...
...or spend a romantic supper with my girl and the candles...
...playing ballads on my guitar...
You play guitar?
Don't change the fucking subject!
It's that I can't show any weakness.
I have to be strong and ruthless.
I'm leaving the shade right now.
I cannot disappoint my father.
Have you never dug any grave? Give me that.
I know what you mean.
Don't tell me you know what I mean, cos you know fucking nothing!
I'm a fiddler! A world famous conductor's son!
Everyone expected I'd be like him!
And I've always been afraid I wouldn't equal him.
Besides, it doesn't matter anymore.
Have I allowed you to change the channel?
I thought you didn't like Fogg.
So you were fucking wrong!
Mietek Fogg was a cool bloke.
"Give me this unique Sunday,
the last Sunday,
and then the world may fall down."
This is a real song about unhappy love.
Do you know? Before the Second World War,
the blokes at the bar asked the band for that track.
Then they shot themselves at the table.
They wanted this song to be the last one in their lives.
Because it's real.
It doesn't say that "hit me, baby, one more time"...
...or that everything can fucking happen.
Great discovery!
Of course that everything can fucking happen!
Just like now!
You are a musician, ain't you?
And you like old Polish songs, yes?
I have a cool greatest hits album.
Come on, I'll play it to you.
I'll tell everything, but don't hurt me!
I'm all ears.
But I don't know anything!
That's not what I wanted to hear.
Really, I haven't seen any suitcase.
Go and open the door.
But no tricks, otherwise I'll shoot you.
Is there any smart cunt here?
No, there isn't.
So give me a five.
I'm a smart cunt and fuck off from here, quick.
There is a smart cunt here!
You give us a five and the smart cunt a 30.
You don't get me.
If so, we're really sorry.
Next time be more polite, otherwise you'll get slapped.
Let's go, Siwy.
You don't have to be a singer.
You can start with music production.
You'd do the music you like.
You have to answer one really important question...
Fucking... important.
What do I like doing in my life? Then start doing it.
Then again, I have to find someone who'll pay for that.
What are you laughing at?
I'll read newspapers, watch the telly...
...and if you aren't a famous fiddler in 4 years,
I'll be back to shoot you.
I've got it!
I'm going to France!
But not necessarily.
Kuba!
Don't do it!
Not this one.
- Don't jump! - Go away!
Kuba! Don't be a fool!
Get down right now!
Kuba, get down, when the girl asks you kindly.
I don't know her.
How come you don't know me?
He doesn't know what he's saying because of all this madness.
Kuba, it's me, Weronika, your fiancée.
Kuba, I think you don't want your fiancée to get hurt, do you?
Dear God, who are you?
She's not my fiancée!
She's dumped me and she already has another boyfriend!
Kuba, get down, if you love me.
Otherwise this gentleman will kill me.
You get down or she won't have any boyfriend anymore.
I'm counting to three.
- One, two. - All right!
I'm coming down.
And what about me?
Better find a new boyfriend.
You let him escape?
He'd been mine, until this pig duet appeared.
I can't imagine how you can be so stupid.
Look at yourself!
They made a jelly out of your fucking face!
I can't look at you!
Why are you so nervous? We'll get the money back.
First, I want to change. The we'll go to the woods...
...to finish the one from the trunk, then press Bolec and his daddy.
I think they want to fuck us up.
In Brzózki Stare outside Warsaw there are old German bunkers,
we can bury him there.
You look like a German bunker yourself.
Oskar, pick up the phone, you wanker.
- Hello? - Lady?
Kuba? Hello!
Come here, mate, we have a brilliant stuff.
Listen to me carefully, my battery's almost over.
What?
Guys, my mate is in trouble.
I've heard them.
They are taking me to a forest outside Warsaw.
Close to Brzózki Stare, in the bunkers area.
Call the police.
Sure, mate, you can count on us.
The police - what for?
We'll get him out of it by ourselves.
Are you listening to me?
Grucha, what the fuck is wrong with you?
I've been lost in thought.
- Where am I to turn? - To the forest.
We've been driving around the forest for like 10 minutes.
You're getting too nervous.
My nerves work good, but I'm worried about your head.
Everything all right with it?
You're lost in thought all the time. You don't seem a thinker.
Maybe a blood vessel has burst out in your skull...
...and you've stopped associating certain things.
When they were smashing your face to a pulp,
were you lost in thought too?
Turn... right.
I ain't no doctor, but I know these things happen.
My grandpa, after the stroke, turned into a vegetable.
We had no contact with him, exactly as with you right now.
The difference is the grandma had to provide him a bedpan.
We work together, I'm worried about your absent-mindedness.
Could you stop smoking in my car?
- I like smoking before the execution. - But not in my car!
I don't want to be a passive smoker!
I'll keep the fag outside the window.
Everyone says that. I hear it all the time.
As for me, Grucha,
you can keep it in your ass, but not in my car.
End of the journey, get out.
Every day I eat fruit puree, germs, tofu...
...garlic capsules, I drink cod-liver oil every morning...
...l've eliminated cholesterol and animal fats...
...except for that morning cold-liver oil.
That's why I don't worry about my heart, lungs and kidneys.
And that's why smoking is prohibited in my car.
The smoke is bad for your skin and hair roots.
Any problem?
What are you wearing? What have you put on?
- It's a sweater. - But what does it look like?
Stop fucking about, we have work to do.
If you don't want to tell me, then don't.
I'm just curious, what's the reason why...
...you've put this disgusting sweater on?
Get to fuck, Fred.
You didn't allow me to smoke...
...and that was my last fag!
I have one, if you like.
Give me that.
I've rolled it by myself.
Tastes weird.
For a safe weekend, Wladziu.
Cheers.
Jesus, fuck.
What about now, Wladziu? Are we setting off?
We are supposed to look after the order in this country.
We won't drive being drunk.
So how are we going to get back?
Relax.
Holy shit!
The cops!
Put the pipe away.
Good afternoon.
We need your help.
Did you find this sweater in a new fashion catalogue?
It's a gift.
Or maybe you don't really know what you put on, do you?
Or you know you made a fool of yourself,
but you don't want to admit it.
I don't know what you're talking about, man.
If you want to tell me something, explain it to me clearly.
I mean the sweater you have on.
Did you fucking steal it from the Flooded Aid?
Did a dog fucking eat it and then bring it up?
I would like to know the story of that sweater.
At the technical school, they gave them to us on our workshop classes.
Dig, Kuba, dig.
Babel, don't sleep.
I'm not sleeping.
We're driving and driving...
...and it was supposed to be somewhere near Warsaw.
Lady, there are cops behind us.
Step on the gas a bit, mate. But easy.
They keep on following us.
They must know we have the pipe.
Step on it!
We have to lose them.
Fred, why are you fucking about with my sweater?
Look at me.
Can you see what I am wearing?
Do you know how much this jacket is worth? 1500 bugs.
- Want me to take a photo? - No, Grucha.
I bought this suit for moments like this.
I paid 1500 bugs...
...cos I want the bloke to remember my outlook very well.
So that he could tell his fellow angels in heaven...
...that he got hot by a man of class, do you understand?
And you, in your sweater, look like a peasant.
You're the same as a beggar that cleans my lamps...
...when I'm standing at the traffic lights.
When he tells in heaven about what the one who killed him looked,
the angels will laugh till their clench muscles lose...
...and we'll have a rain of shit.
Funny story...
For you it's all the same,
because on this sweater none will notice the difference,
but think about me.
Funny. Really funny.
Smoking this shit's made your laugh sound like pig cough.
Have you finished?
Listen carefully.
I'll give you one last chance.
Can you see this coin?
I'll flip it now.
If it's heads, you win and I spare your life.
If it's tails, you lose, and I win your death.
Perhaps this sweater is disgusting,
but it's supposed to be like this.
Because, unlike you, I don't give a shit...
...about what the bloke I'm going to kill thinks.
I don't think it fucking matters...
...if you kill someone with or without style either.
Besides, I don't believe in angels, reincarnation,
underwater civilisations nor Santa Claus.
Then again, I know that each guy...
...you shoot from few centimeters distance...
...can spill his blood onto your 3000 bugs jacket.
And the story of the sweater, you wouldn't understand it anyway.
It won't go any faster.
You've dragged us into a pretty mess, Wladziu!
Holy shit!
What's this? Hands up!
Police!
I've invited you to this really exclusive restaurant,
because I want to tell you something important.
I know how much you've done for me...
...and I want you to know I appreciate it.
But not everything in life is as we want it to be.
Not every story has got a happy-end.
Thanks to you, I've grown up,
but I've also understood that I can't be a child forever.
One day you have to leave the playground.
That's why I must leave you.
It's just as simple - I've grown up...
...and found the limit between playing and being adult.
I've learned the meaning of the word...
...that either Lady nor Kuba will never understand.
This word is...
...responsability.
Then what will you say about my being pregnant with you?
Being pregnant with me?
I think you've said something about the reproduction tendency.
You control the situation, son.
Bravo.
My blood.
Dad...
You don't need to say anything, what you did speaks for you.
I used to underestimate you, but it's all going to change.
I'm going to make you my right hand, no more whores,
you'll go about really interesting things,
blakckmails, drugs, violations...
You'll taste the gangster business.
But dad, I don't want to!
I'm fed up with being a gangster.
I'm not a tough guy!
What are you talking about? Maybe you have a headache?
Dad, I don't suit in here, in this kind of life.
I want to do things I really like.
You've wanted me to leave the shade, I'm leaving it.
And what are you going to do, for example?
Music production!
I have some cash for the very beginnig.
I've decided to run an independent record company.
Maybe you should run a fucking silkworm farm?
You have no idea about music!
I've watched MTV every day for last three years.
It's enough for the beginning.
I don't know if I make any career, if I hit the charts,
but I've already taken up the decision.
Try to understand me.
Stronghand, check out the whole showbiz branch...
...and get to know if we can make money out of it.
If so, we're in.
- We have to go to that opera now. - We're going.
Oh, and if Bolec releases something,
make sure it'll be number 1 on the charts.
But I guess it's people's decision.
Then check out what people these are and talk to them your way.
France is a beautiful country, wine, women...
I would go there myself, but I can't complain,
Milan is beautiful too.
What's wrong, Kuba?
Where's the joy on your face?
Sir, you know about my problems with Mr Zajaczek.
He wants to destroy me.
Nice, isn't she?
Very nice.
I used to pick up birds like that long time ago, with your father.
I remember that, everytime we took Zajaczek with us,
we couldn't pick up anything.
Could you help me?
I don't know if it's possible.
Mr Zajaczek had sort of an accident.
The news about your success surprised him...
...while he was visiting his family in Chicago.
He got really nervous and kicked a car...
...that belonged to a boy from the black district.
And?
And, as they say,
they made the fall of the Middle Ages out of his ass.
- Good evening, Kuba. - Good evening.
Rudolf, we have to go.
Bye.
Good bye.
Good luck.
We'll be supporting you.
Have you told it to your parents?
I'm working on it.
By now, they know I've met a young geography student.
And if they know the truth?
I don't give a shit.
Lilly is a great girl.
At least I won't bore my child with the stories...
...about his daddy meeting his mum at the secondary school or at work.
You know, kid, your daddy did something really big.
That's it.
You have to collect strong impressions.
Hey, guys, wake up. I think we've arrived.
Yeah. I suppose we're near.
Know what?
I'm going to check out what's behind the hill.
And? Are there any bunkers?
No, there are not.
But it's fucking cool anyway.
English translation by Patrycja Zukowska