♪ Timmy is an average kid ♪
♪ And no one understands ♪
♪ Mom and Dad and Vicky always giving him commands ♪
Bed, twerp! ♪ Doom and gloom up in his room ♪
♪ Is broken instantly ♪
♪ By his magic little fish who grant his every wish ♪
♪ 'Cause in reality, they are his Odd Parents ♪
♪ Fairly Odd Parents ♪
Wands and wings! Floaty crowny things!
♪ Odd Parents, Fairly Odd Parents ♪
♪ Really mod, pea pod, buff bod, hotrod ♪
Obtuse, rubber goose, green moose, guava juice,
giant snake, birthday cake, large fry, chocolate shake!
♪ Odd Parents, Fairly Odd Parents ♪
♪ It flips your lid when you're a kid with Fairly Odd Parents ♪
Yeah, right. ♪ Bop! ♪
"Dear Trixie Tang,
"instead of going to the big school dance
"with somebody handsome and popular,
"how about going with me, Timmy Turner,
"the least popular and handsome guy you know?
Think of how good you'll look next to me in comparison."
Well? What do you guys think?
( cackling )
Man, no matter how hard I try, I can't write a good letter.
Well, forget the mushy stuff.
Try a threat.
What?!
Watch.
"Dear Trixie, we have your parents.
If you ever want to see them again..."
FATHER: Timmy...
( doorknob jiggling )
My parents!
Activate fish mode!
Hi, sweetie. What are you doing?
Hey,
you're writing
a threatening love note.
That's how I met your mom.
BOTH: "If you ever want to see your parents again..."
( both laughing )
You know, I never did get that ransom.
It's not a love note.
I'm trying to invite a girl to a dance.
But you've got to let her know it
in a sweet, romantic, nice way.
That's moderately threatening.
If there's one thing girls love more
than being told they're pretty,
it's being told they're prettier than other girls.
FATHER: Well, than mention her hair.
It's so much shinier than yours, honey.
"And your hair, which is so much
shinier than my mom's."
And her eyes, honey.
Tell her that her eyes resonate
with a depth of intelligence
that greatly surpasses yours.
"And your eyes-- shining, intelligent,
"deep and limpid pools of shining love light...
Gooey, gooey, gooey, lovey, goo."
But-But-But I wouldn't say any of that mushy gunk.
And that's why you don't have a date.
Hmm. This is still missing something.
The threatening reason that'll make her say yes.
"Say yes, and I promise the safe return of your parents."
And our work here is done.
Let's leave Timmy alone so I can talk to you more
about my not-so-limpid eyes and my not-so-shiny hair.
Okay. I-I...
I'm in trouble, aren't I?
Let's go.
Wow. That's the most beautiful, romantic, touching
and slightly threatening E-mail I've ever read.
COSMO: It's threatening and romantic.
It's threatmantic!
And horrifyingly embarrassing.
But Timmy, I thought
you really felt that way about Trixie.
Actually, my love for her burns
with the white hot intensity of a thousand suns.
But I can't tell her that.
But I can.
Thanks to my parental battering ram.
It's the latest thing in tough love parenting.
"Burns for you... intensity... thousand suns."
Send!
( musical tones play )
FEMALE VOICE: Message sent.
Hey, why'd you do that?
If I have to be miserable
because of your letter, so do you.
MOTHER: Get back here.
Still in trouble. Got to go.
Aah!
Dad sent my threatmatic E-mail.
I wish the E-mail was back.
Make it come back!
BOTH: We can't get it back!
Why not?
It's a love letter.
And our magic can't interfere with true love.
If you guys can't bring it back, there's only one thing to do.
I wish I was inside the Internet!
( whirring )
( ding )
You want us to come with you?
( voice echoing ): And leave
the computer vulnerable
so my dad can send more stupid letters
that you can't help me with?!
No way.
I wish you guys would stay here
and guard this computer no matter what.
Got it?
Got it.
Did you really need to wave your wands for that one?
( both muttering )
BOTH: No.
Now attach me to an E-mail.
( ding )
( whirring )
Let's get digital.
Your message has been sent.
( beeping )
Cool.
I'm surfing the Web.
Literally.
There it is, my E-mail.
Sir? Oh, sir?
Got it. Whoa.
Whoa!
( musical notes play ) You've got mail.
Oh, no you don't.
All I have to do is delete this thing.
"Dear A.J., thank you for allowing us
"to scrape some of your brain cells
"for our cloning program.
"Stay smart!
Your friend, The President."
Wait a minute.
This is a letter for A.J.
I'm in A.J.'s room.
Oh, man, I must have followed the wrong letter.
So, Doctor, if you attach the seed thrower
to the back of your satellite,
it'll plant seeds while it orbits the earth,
thus ending world hunger.
That's brilliant, A.J.
NASA thanks you, and the World thanks you.
And...?
And the money has been placed in your account.
Well, time to check my E-mail.
Hey, something opened my letter from the President.
Is that a computer virus?
I got to get of here.
( door thumping, doorknob jiggling )
A.J.'s MOM: A.J.?
( gasps )
( buzzer sounds )
( whirring )
( loud knocking on door )
A.J.'s MOM: A.J., I'm both respecting your privacy
by knocking but asserting my authority
as your mother by coming in anyway.
Honey, you really should think about redecorating.
Ah-hoo!
Rats. At cyber speed,
I can use the worldwide Web to be anywhere in the world
in the blink of an eye.
Wow.
I'm in Australia.
Crikey, is that a computer virus?
I'm in the heart of Africa.
Lyle, Kevin-- a computer virus!
Good heavens, Bruce,
the humans must have discovered the location
of our secret society of super intelligent gorillas!
Well, if it's so secret, how did they discover it?
You know, Lyle, he's got a point.
Oh, get off my back, Bruce!
Chinese letters.
Technology's amazing.
I'm as far away from home as physically possible,
and I got here in a millisecond.
Golly, good thing this Chinese restaurant
is only three steps away from house.
That'll be $7.95.
Here a fortune cookie.
"Confucius say,
'You will use a battering ram to violate your son's privacy.'"
Well, okay.
I don't want to make Confucius a liar.
( knock at door )
FATHER: Oh, Timmy?!
Oh, no!
It's Timmy's dad's eye!
I'm respecting your privacy by knocking,
but asserting my authority as your father
by coming in anyway.
( in Timmy's voice ): Do you mind?
I'm doing my homework.
In the bathroom?
But that's where I pay my bills.
WANDA: He's coming in!
What do we do?
Pull my wand.
( sniffs )
Whoa! What is your mother feeding you?
Uh, I'll use the computer later.
Let me know when you're done.
I need to look for a contractor to fix this wall.
Oh, man, this light speed searching is cool and all,
but there are too many places to look.
And I got to find Trixie's computer
before she opens my threatmatic E-mail.
You've got mail.
From a desperate boy!
I should just delete this, but that would be rude.
I like to personalize my rejections.
MAN ( knock at door ): Trixie,
I'm both respecting your privacy by knocking,
but asserting my authority as your father
by coming in anyway.
Phone for you!
Whoa, this place is creepy.
Where am I?
What's with all the fairy pictures?
"www.fairies'r'real.wand?"
A photo of me on a fairy Website?
Cool. I'm being downloaded.
I mean, oh, no, I'm being downloaded.
( beep )
Huh? Wait a second.
"Nutjob replaced
"at New Baltimore Community College
"for using funds to build a trap for fairy godparents.
"Crazy single Caucasian male
"seeks equally crazy single female to discuss belief
that fairy godparents exist."
Oh, my gosh!
I'm must be in the computer!
My crazy fairy-believing teacher, Mr. Crocker!
Yes, I'm Mr. Crocker.
Using my new website at fairiesarereal.wand
we'll soon have gathered enough evidence to prove
the existence of...
fairy godparents!
Ah! I better hide!
I must record this glorious moment for posterity!
I shall record this for future generations
so that all may learn...
WOMAN: Denzel!
Denzel Crocker?!
I'm both respecting your privacy by knocking,
but asserting my authority as your mother
by coming in anyway.
Could you stop with the crazy long enough to help Mommy?
Mother, stop interrupting!
Can't you see I'm busy...
ranting?!
But you need to put on
this rubber dress so I can hem it for the big dance tonight!
I hate modeling your dresses!
Although it does make me feel pretty.
Oh, well.
At least no one I know
can see this. This is gold!
And it's digitally recorded gold.
I'm saving this.
Oh, no! I pinged!
Hey, who pinged?!
Someone opened my files!
Busted.
Most people would assume it's the work of a hacker,
but I know some child
must have wished himself into the Internet
with the help of his fairy godparents!
Must trace data back to source.
( screams )
Way to bust a move, son.
Go, Denzel. Go, Denzel. Go, Denzel.
COMPUTER: Must get digital proof of fairies.
Fairies. Proof of fairies.
Okay, the room's fixed,
and the computer's still safe.
Now what do you want to do?
Recording proof of fairies. Recording proof of fairies.
I don't know.
What do you want to do?
I don't know.
Let's have a magic fight just for the heck of it.
Oh, why not?
It's not like anybody
can see what we're doing in here.
Yeah, it'd sure stink
if somebody was actually recording this...
and had irrefutable proof that some kid had...
Fairy godparents! Yes!
Denzel. Mother.
Excellent. ( laughs )
I, Mr. Crocker, finally have irrefutable video proof
that fairies exist.
Now all I have to do is upload this data.
Then, using the Internet,
transmit it to every computer in the world.
And with the unparalleled speed of my computer,
it should take no time at all.
COMPUTER: Download commencing.
One percent.
Yay!
Zero percent.
Boo! Curses, obsolete, one-month-old technology!
Negative one percent.
Drat!
Look at that massive stream of e-mail.
Maybe my threatmantic letter's in there.
Junk mail, junk mail. Oh, man.
My letter isn't anywhere in this batch.
I'm doomed to be a total laughingstock.
What happened? Where am I?
( screams )
Trixie?
"Trixie, how are you? Veronica."
Wow! I'm in a chat room with Trixie and Veronica.
Hey, Veronica, I am fine and popular.
I'm just about to read
all my e-mail.
No!
Dear Trixie, as your best friend,
I wish you nothing but happiness and eternal joy
for your whole life long.
Why can't I be you?!
WOMAN: Veronica, dinner.
Don't call me that! Call me Trixie!
I'm Trixie!
I've got to follow Veronica's e-mail
back to Trixie's computer.
I'll just send a message, attach myself to it,
and end up on her screen.
But I have to say something that she'd expect Veronica to say.
"Do you think Timmy Turner is neat?"
Do I think Timmy Turner
is neat?
Why? Do you?
Do I think Timmy Turner is neat?
Actually, my love for him burns
with the white- hot intensity of 1,000 suns,
but I can't let Trixie know that.
"No way. He's gross."
Aw, great. The crazy one likes me.
My letter! Yes!
( laughs ): This rocks!
I've got my letter, and I'm not a laughingstock,
and best of all, for the first time ever,
things didn't fall apart when I made a big wish.
Finally, I have proof, proof,
of the existence of fairy godparents!
You guys!
Shh, Mr. Crazy is talking. Say hi, Timmy.
Shh! If he doesn't know whose fairies we are,
then we don't have to go away forever.
Once I upload this video file of you fairies
and send it to every computer in the world,
I'll cease being a laughingstock.
Then I will be the man
who proved that fairies actually exist.
Cosmo, Wanda, turn the computer off!
But we've got to get you out first.
Who did that?
No, now, before he figures out whose fairies you are.
Um, that's off, right?
Cosmo? Wanda?
Must've destroyed the computer.
Crocker's video footage.
I've got to get it before it gets back to his computer.
WANDA: Uh, Dad, the computer's busted.
( gasps ): Giga-gasp!
COSMO: Can you fix it?
Sure. I'll make a new one.
Almost to Crocker's computer.
I must be in Crocker's hard drive.
Oh, no! Crocker's uploading the video clip!
COMPUTER: Now uploading proof of fairies.
One percent, two percent, three...
( screams )
A firewall!
Ha! Once this upload is complete,
I've programmed it to hack into the mainframe
of the Internet and route it to every computer
and television screen in the world!
Then everyone will know that fairies exist!
The pink-hatted computer virus!
I'm ready for you this time.
Destroy that pink hat!
( screams )
Here's the hard drive.
Here's the monitor.
Here's the keyboard.
And here's the power supply.
Run, Eddie, run!
COMPUTER: You've got mail.
Ha! I'm a genius.
Now I'm going to make ice cream
out of birdseed and gum.
Come on, we got to find Timmy
in this thing.
I'll never get the footage with these guys dogging me.
I've got to give 'em the slip somehow.
( gasps )
Low bandwidth ahead.
That's it!
So long, fellas.
Now to find that video footage.
COMPUTER: 66%. 67%.
Yes. Yes.
Denzel, will you come and sponge Mommy's feet?
Yes. I mean, no!
79%.
Whoa. I'm in the central hub of the Internet.
All the data from around the world goes
in there, gets copied in there,
and gets sent out of there to every computer in the world.
And that's where my data is going!
( screams )
COMPUTER: 91%. 92%.
No!
94 percent.
92%. 91%.
Hey, when we went through the data stream,
we erased some of it.
That's it!
Hey, crockpot- dot-dork,
hungry for some information?
Well, come get some.
85%. 79%.
What?
No!
Come on, pal, I'm right here.
62%. 58%.
I can't get it to turn on.
( panting )
Huh? Oh, no, not me.
There's no way I'm going to...
Run, gerbil boy, run!
15%. Six percent.
Upload aborted.
No!
Must send the data again.
Where's that file?
Where is that file?!
Oh, you mean this file?
( complimentary whistle )
Upload commencing. One percent.
What?!
Whoo-hoo!
You've got mail.
Hey, I've got mail.
No, I've got mail. I'm the alpha male.
Hey, I'm the alpha male.
It's for you.
I mean, you are the alpha male.
You've got mail.
( screams ): Krikey! I knew you'd come home.
Several sightings of the pink-hatted Internet virus
were reported today,
and in a press release, authorities stated:
"It does make me feel pretty.
Oh, well, at least no one can see this."
( laughter )
Oh, the humiliation.
Can this get any worse?
There he is!
This is where I've traced the source
of the pink-hatted computer virus.
No, no!
Oh, Denzel, where did I go wrong?
You've got Timmy.
Guys!
BOTH: Timmy!
Timmy.
How's the new computer?
( gasps ): Egad!
You're not supposed to be on those kinds of Web sites.
But that's my teacher.
Well, it does make him look pretty.
Nice party, Timmy.
Aren't you upset that you're here without a date?
Are you nuts?
I got to surf the Internet,
become a virus, humiliate Crocker on a global scale,
and most importantly, prevent Trixie
from reading this mushy, threatmantic letter.
Hey!
Trixie, no, don't!
Oh, Timmy, that's the sweetest,
most threatening thing I've ever read.
Uh, really?
Sure. And if I didn't think you only wanted to date me
because I'm prettier than your mom,
I'd totally go out with you.
What?!
Security!
Wow! She likes me, and I creep her out. 