(cheering)
Remind me not to get on your bad side. How much you win?
- We weren't playin' for money. - You killed yourself like that for nothin'?
Must be a guy thing. So what d'you wanna talk to me about?
- Don't worry about it. Changed my mind. - About what?
My cousin's wedding's tomorrow. I was gonna ask you to be my date.
- I'm busy anyway. Have a good time, though. - Hey!
- I'm not goin'. Didn't I just say that? - Not exactly. Why are you bailin' out?
If you knew my father's side of the family...
It's not like Bennett can't ask one of his brothers to be best man.
- Best man! - Yeah.
He knows it'll make his father angry. That's my Uncle Jonas,
who regards me as the black sheep of the family, I guess you could say.
- So you really can't come? - You said you weren't going.
How can I not?
Are you dehydrated or something? Cos you're not making much sense.
- Think you can get out of your plans? - My plans?
Sure, sounds like fun.
I wouldn't go that far.
These aren't your peeps. They pride themselves on being snooty.
Don't talk to me about snooty.
With my DNA, I'm nearly a blood relative to everybody who's been anybody-ever.
Winston Churchill, Einstein, Pocahontas.
I should mention this is gonna be a formal affair.
Not a problem.
(? Piano music)
You hear stories about places like this, but damn!
It's like the Pulse never happened.
- (Max) What do you think? - (Original Cindy) Uh-uh.
- I love weddings. - Never been to one.
Seriously?!
There is nothing more romantic than two people pledging their hearts to each other
till the day they die. Makes me incredibly horny.
No, thank you. Knocking the boot with the same person for the rest of your life?
- I'm not even tryin' to hear that. - You are so gonna have a good time.
Perfect.
I wonder how much cheddar they want for this bitch.
- Logan's paying for this, right? - It's not like he's my sugar daddy.
- Why not? - Can I help you?
- We're just browsing. - How much is this?
- Six. - Hundred?
Thousand. It's an imported Raphael Banks original.
Now, that's just stupid.
Could you put this on hold? I'm gonna come back for it later.
- Of course. - Thank you.
Good night. I'll let myself out when I finish up.
OK.
What a girl has to go through to look good.
I'm still wanted by the cops on that Makioka thing.
No way I'll try to get past a checkpoint with a hot painting.
(knock on door)
It'll be there in two hours.
Relax. This is me you're talkin' to. Chill.
(knock on door)
Jam Pony messenger. I got a package goin' to 435 Bledsoe.
Look at me. Are you lookin' at me?
- With both eyes. - This is a very important package.
You make sure it gets to where it's supposed to go.
It's what the man pays me to do.
Make sure.
I'll guard it with my life.
Hey, hey, hey! That's enough!
How many times I gotta tell you people? This is a place of business.
C'mon, Normal, they're just foolin' around!
- All right, idiots. Let's get back to work. - What did you just call me?
I just called you all idiots. It's from the Greek idiotes.
As in "one who is afflicted by idiocy,
a feeble-minded person having a mental age not exceeding three years."
- Who do you think you are, talkin' like that? - Your boss. Now bip-bip-bip.
I want an apology.
- Is that right? - Now.
(sighs)
All right, perhaps I was unduly harsh calling you people idiots.
When in fact you're morons. From the Greek moros.
As in "feeble-minded or mental defective having an age of between eight and twelve,
capable of doing menial tasks under supervision." Now get outta my sight,
or you're all fired.
It'll be here any minute.
Didn't he just tell me it'd be here any minute a minute ago?
Yes, Mr Duvalier. That's what he said.
And yet my Rockwell still isn't here.
- No, Mr Duvalier. - Don't worry, you'll have it.
I got a plane to catch to Singapore tonight,
and if that Rockwell doesn't arrive in time and I disappoint my buyer,
then you is a dead man.
(knock on door)
Hi. Jam Pony messenger. Need a signature here...
- There you go, baby. - What'd I tell you?
It's what I been waitin' for. My baby.
What the hell is this?
- Hey. - Hey. Can I help you?
- Yeah. Is Max around? - Yeah. She's in the, uh...
(? "Moving With U" by Q-Tip)
? I suit you the way that 'chu want
? Hey, hey, hey, the way that 'chu want
? It caught me the way that 'chu want
? Hey, hey, hey, the way that 'chu want
? I suit you the way that 'chu want
? Hey, hey, hey, the way that 'chu want
? It got me the way that 'chu want
? Hey, hey, hey, the way that 'chu want
You clean up nice.
- So do you. - Shall we?
Sure.
? I suit you the way that 'chu want
? Hey, hey, hey, the way that 'chu want
? It got me the way that 'chu want
? Hey, hey, hey, the way that 'chu want
My speech for the toast, do you mind running through it?
- You seem nervous. - I'm no good with public speaking.
You deliver cable hacks to millions of people.
It's different. There's no one around, just a camera.
There's no family waiting for you to screw up so they can talk about it.
- Why do you care? - I don't.
Whatever.
- Shoot. - OK.
Marriage is an act of daring,
which requires that we be brave enough to promise ourselves...
You see, that's what I don't get. How can you promise you're gonna love someone forever?
Well, it's a declaration of intent, a vow.
You took it and look how that turned out.
You and Uncle Jonas are gonna get along famously.
Maybe weddings should be held in secret. That way, when the marriage falls apart,
you haven't spent a whole lotta loot on what was just a big old public humiliation.
It requires we entrust our most secret inner selves to them.
- When Bennett first told me about Marion... - Marianne.
- What? - Marianne. You said Marion.
- Which is it? - It says Marianne.
You don't know the bride's name?
I've never met her.
God!
Can I see the ring?
Wow!
Good clarity, colourless. I could fence this for ten thou, easy.
Hi. Sorry, we're closed. I invite you to come back during business hours.
My boss was expecting a package. You sent the wrong one.
Those are blueprints for a meat packing plant, not his painting.
I don't know what to tell you. My records show this is your package.
Check it again.
Listen, if your boss wants to file a complaint, have him fill this out, OK? Get back to me.
Tell him yourself. Tear this place apart.
(Normal groans)
Are you OK?
I'm so happy for them.
(? "Here Comes The Bride')
Poor thing. Reminds me of the look on Jondy's face during live ordnance drills.
I wonder if that's terror or grim determination. Oh, well, it's her life.
l, Bennett, take you, Marianne, to be my lawfully wedded wife.
You are my one true love, my light.
When I was afraid, you were always there.
You were brave enough for the both of us.
- (Max) He sounds sincere enough. - And when I couldn't see,
you were always there to guide me home again.
l, Marianne, take you, Bennett, to be my lawfully wedded husband.
We come from different worlds, but our love is strong enough to build a bridge.
- (Max) Her too. - I promise to cherish you always, without...
- They look so... happy. - All the angels in heaven witness my vow.
By the power vested in me by the military command of the State of Washington,
I now pronounce you husband and wife.
- Oh, that is so sweet! - (minister) You may kiss the bride.
There you go, dear.
(? Cocktail jazz)
Your uncle's got a nice spread. Where'd he make all his dough?
Off the misery of others.
Every Hoverdrone in North America requires this one chip in order to fly.
- My uncle manufactures that chip. - So in other words, we're in enemy territory.
- Mm. - When do we get the cake?
In a wheelchair, you can't turn your back on someone and hope they won't recognise you.
- Junior! - Hello, dear.
Hi.
Uncle Jonas, Aunt Margo. This is Max.
- Max...? - Guevara.
Guevara?
Of the Greenwich Guevaras.
(Jonas) I don't recall there being any Guevaras in Greenwich.
But the world's goin' to hell in a handbasket, so who knows?
One thing you can say about Normal is at least he knows who he is.
A constipated, crusty, angry, rhythm-free, Republican white man.
No, I myself struggle with self-identity.
Wiggy, you trippin'.
No, I'm serious.
- It's Normal. - Speak of the devil.
He's asking for you.
He sounds upset. Talk. Go.
Herbal, drop some of that I and I science on Wiggy. Don't let him have no more beer.
You callin' durin' personal time, you better be callin' to apologise.
Otherwise, I'm hangin' up on your ass.
There's a gun pointed at my head.
You do what you gotta do, but if you askin' my advice on how to end it all,
put your head in the oven or go the sleepin' pill route.
Maybe I'm not making myself clear.
There are men here with guns-boom, boom - who intend to kill me if I don't...
if we don't find their package, which has apparently been misplaced. I need your help.
- What's in it for me? - Money. Lots of it.
Ten bucks.
All right, make it 20.
I want an apology to every messenger at Jam Pony.
- Yeah, yeah. Sure, sure. - And I want it in writing.
And I don't ever wanna hear the words "bip-bip-bip" again.
That's... You'll never hear another "bip" out of my cakehole as long as I live.
OK. What's the dealio with the package?
Still writing those little articles of yours?
- Yes, as a matter of fact. - Any plans in getting a real job,
or are you content to dine at the family money trough for the rest of your life?
- I enjoy my work. - Since Junior here won't listen to me,
maybe you can use your charms to persuade him to do something with his life.
Junior's doing just fine.
If you're shacked up with him, you're probably one of those freethinkers, too,
and think I'm talking through my hat.
Not unless you wear your hat on your ass.
Oh, there's Bennett and Marianne. Excuse me.
Enjoy the party.
- Sorry. I had to do that. - It's fine.
Another highball and he won't even remember meeting you.
- Did you notice the locket Aunt Margo had? - Yeah.
Hm. That was my mother's.
My father gave it to her the day I was born. She never took it off.
Before she died she told me that she wanted me to have it, to remember her by,
but... when I went looking for it in herjewellery box, it was gone.
- You're gonna ask for it back. - No. It'll just cause too big a deal.
And with all the denials and excuses and lies and recriminations,
it's easier to let it slide.
The great and powerful Eyes Only is gonna let himself get crapped over by his family?
- I need another drink. - Knock yourself out.
Logan.
Daphne!
Are you sure you brought it back here after you picked it up?
- I don't remember. - Don't make me smack you.
The only thing that I know for sure is that I can be relied upon to be unreliable.
In many respects, Normal's right. I'm an idiot.
He's the idiot. Normal switched the contents of the packages after the sword fight.
- It's the only explanation. - You mean I'm not an idiot?
Let's not go that far. Now, who delivered the other mail tube?
(Logan laughs)
Max, say hi to Daphne, my, uh... old friend. We went to Yale together.
- Oh. - Hi.
She's an amazing artist.
- Really? - Mm-hm.
I've been meaning to tell you how lovely that dress looks on you.
- Thank you. - I lusted after it myself,
but saw the price tag and got sticker shock.
I'll have to stick with my Allegra Versace for another decade.
(phone rings)
Excuse me.
That's the dealio. Packages got switched. I'm outside the place you made the drop at.
Can I ask you one question? Why exactly are we helping Normal?
Original Cindy don't like the man neither, but that don't mean she wanna see him shot.
Yeah, I suppose.
You remember anything about this Angelo Biondello you made the drop to?
No clue. Why?
Cos the building's locked, ain't nobody to let me in.
- So break in. - Break into the building?
Yeah. If Biondello's office is closed, slim-jimmy your way in.
I am not committing felony breaking and entering, even to save Normal's life.
Besides, even if I could, probably just get lost anyway.
I'm on my way.
- You went to Billy's prom? You never said. - Yeah. Was I supposed to?
- Yeah. - Logan?
If it's any consolation, I wore a different dress.
I have to deal with some gangsters trying to kill my boss.
OK. Lucky Billy. As I recall, that dress was impossible to unzip.
You bad boy!
- Can I help you? - Oh, found 'em.
Sorry to pull you away from your do, boo.
No problem.
Look at you flossin' in a dope riz-ide.
All right. Stay here and keep an eye out.
- What are you gonna do? - Try not to wrinkle this dress.
Cinderella's gotta return it in the morning.
- Hey. - Argh!
- What do you think you're doing? - Listening to The Lion King for the last time.
- You almost got yourself killed! - Well, that's kinda the point.
This was supposed to be my big break, but the plans never got here.
Client left in a huff. I got fired.
Now I'm gonna lose my house, my wife, my little girl.
You have a wife and a kid and you're about to take a header into the No Parking zone?!
- My job! - It's just ajob. Get over it.
- Now tell me where the painting is. - I threw it out. It's probably in the Dumpster.
Wait!
You're a messenger, aren't you?
Yeah.
Well, I've never been a believer, but you coming here personally to straighten me out,
thank you.
I'll see about getting you those plans back.
Logan, um, should I be worried about this toast you're giving?
Details of your bachelor party are safe with me.
(sighs)
Hey.
Zip me up.
Logan. His speech!
Attention!
Logan's gonna give the first toast.
(clears throat)
Got a 911 delivery from Jam Pony.
Upstairs.
- I can't believe they came through for me. - You thought they were gonna let you die?
Yes. Actually, they don't like me too much.
I can understand that.
It's about time. Bip...
Never mind. OK. Can I go?
You actually thought you could lay a phoney off on me, huh?
Well, if that's a forgery, then I'm a victim here too, OK?
Look, I had the original, OK?
I swear. Either my partner stabbed me in the back, or these guys are players.
Hey, I'm just the messenger. We found your package. Now let my boy go.
Cos believe me, he ain't no playa playa.
Know what the word "defenestration" mean?
Isn't that when you cut all the trees down?
Nah.
(Arnie) Oh, no. No, no.
Argh!
Now, that's defenestration.
I don't care what you do to get that paintin',
but if it's not in my hands in the next two hours, then he next.
Uh...
marriage is an act of desperation.
Uh...
daring. It's an act of daring.
And, uh, it-it requires, really...
that we be foolish enough to promise ourselves to another.
Brave enough. Not foolish.
It's brave. Brave.
When Bennett first told me that, uh...
that he'd fallen in love with...
the beautiful, wonderful woman, uh...
- (mouths silently) - Marianne,
- (mouths) - I told him that...
(mouths)
he was lucky to have found someone to share his life with.
(mouths)
They crossed paths by fate,
but became partners by choice.
And together,
they are embarking on the greatest adventure two people can share.
(polite applause)
I was kinda worried there but it was really good. Thanks.
- Nice speech. - Thanks for comin' to the rescue.
Better late than never.
- Where were you anyway? - Long story.
- So about Daphne... - So about the dress...
- You stole it? - I borrowed it. An old girlfriend?
- Yes, actually. Borrowed it from whom? - Store downtown. Were you guys serious?
We were engaged. You gonna return it?
None of your business. Why'd you break up?
- None of your business. - (Jonas) Junior!
(phone rings)
No. I'm not familiar with the term "defenestration".
Ouch.
Forgery, huh? And where'd Sketchy make the pick-up?
I always wondered why Daphne and Logan broke off their engagement.
He double-crossed the guy who was defenestrated.
Logan certainly needs a woman to take care of him. Poor thing.
Handsome as ever, though.
And Daphne looks like she's finally ready to settle down.
- 7B. I'll meet you there. - Interesting to see who catches the bouquet.
So what's the dealio with this catching the bouquet?
Whoever gets it's supposed to marry the man of her dreams.
Some kinda bent heterosexual thing.
D'you know where the guy is that lives here?
- He moved out. - You know where he went?
No. Must've hit it big at the track or somethin'.
Took off for the airport in a limo, with three girls who weren't wearin' much at all.
(laughter)
I said "You gotta do me first." Know what I'm sayin'?
(woman) Yeah.
I need your attention cos I got somewhere else I gotta be. What did you do with it?
Do I know you girls?
I didn't know he was into scenarios. How much is he paying you for this?
- Where's the real painting? - I don't know what you're talkin' about.
Let me fill in the blanks. You went up for auction and double-crossed your partner.
You're skipping town with the cash, only your flight was delayed,
so here you are in a mo-mo with your little playmates, waiting for the fog to lift.
Look, whoever you are, you got it all wrong.
Here, let me do this, boo, so you don't mess up your dress.
Hey! OK.
Where's the real painting?
I sold it to this Korean ship captain.
The big guy over there, Kim Somebody, is a connoisseur.
- Wanted it for the presidential palace. - Let's go.
Nothin' like a room full of flat-assed white girls to get your mind off of defenestration.
- Nice locket. - Oh, thank you.
Logan, we gotta talk. It's important.
Excuse us.
- You're sure Runyon sold it to the Koreans? - That's what he said.
People are carvin' up the culture and shipping it to the highest bidder.
It's what thieves do, it's commerce. Don't take it personally.
Well, I remember when that Rockwell was stolen,
along with a Jackson Pollock and a Nancy Kintisch.
The Pollock wound up in Johannesburg, the Kintisch in Riyadh.
Normal's gonna wind up dead if you don't hurry up.
I got a military transport, Republic of Korea, docked in Elliot Bay, sailing in about an hour.
Is it OK if Original Cindy hangs out with you and your peeps?
- I guess. Why? - If I take out a bunch of military personnel,
she might catch on that I'm a genetically enhanced killing machine.
We can't let this guy take off with that painting.
Gimme a call when you...
- Find out where's it's at? - I got it covered. I need a favour.
- See that girl over there? - Uh-huh.
That's Logan's ex.
- I got your bag. - Thanks, boo.
You got smooth moves, boo.
(safe dial clicks)
(tumbler falls into place)
(tumbler falls)
Me love you long time?
(alarm rings)
Where's my boss?
I hope he hasn't been too much trouble.
My Rockwell. They can go.
Wait. I want the other package.
- The one that was delivered by mistake. - Uh, Max?
We're professionals, right?
Thank you for usin' Jam Pony.
I know you kids aren't particularly fond of me,
which is why it was especially touching that you'd go out on a limb for me like you did,
- And I just wanna say, I thank you. - Normal?
- Yes, Max? - Get outta the car.
And drop this off on your way home.
OK.
(? Cocktail jazz)
- Mission accomplished. - Where's the painting?
- I gave it to Duvalier. - You did what?
What was I supposed to do? He was gonna kill Normal.
Fine, but we can'tjust let this guy swing with a Rockwell. It's a piece of American culture.
Why does everything always have to turn into a cause with you?
Look, I stood there and watched them ship the Baseball Hall of Fame to Kyoto.
The Sultan of Brunei crated up the Statue of Liberty and took it.
- (woman) Girls, are you ready? - One day this depression will be over...
(excited shrieks)
(disappointed sighs)
You were saying?
I was saying, one day this depression will be over, and when it is,
it would be nice if there was something left.
Normal heard Duvalier talkin' about flippin' it over to some dude in Singapore.
Tonight, except the airport's closed.
Just reopened. I need you to get out to the international terminal.
I haven't even had my cake yet.
- Where are you going? - I'll meet you there. I gotta run an errand.
Waste of good mojo, if you ask me. Original Cindy ain't lookin' for no husband.
What do you say we go shoot some pool?
- All right with me, girl. - All right.
I just wanted to say goodbye. I had an absolutely divine time.
Oh, goodbye, dear.
She's a Guevara. Of the Greenwich Guevaras.
Please tell him when you see him. Always happy to help Eyes Only.
Hm. Arrived an hour ago.
Apparent suicide.
Yeah. Actually, he was murdered.
I'm guessing the autopsy report is going to conclude the cause of death
was a single gunshot wound to the head.
I'm sorry.
Man, watch where you're goin', or I'll break both of your arms.
(beeping)
Would you gentlemen step over here, please?
I got a plane to catch to Singapore in 20 minutes.
- Please, step aside. - What's the problem, Officer?
What you lookin' for?
Man, that ain't mine.
Not bad. You framed him for a murder he actually did commit.
While your uncle was sloshed, you brought a killer to justice and saved an art treasure.
Maybe it's time you brought him up to speed that you're not the family failure.
I could be the Messiah and walk on water,
and he'd still say "Why can't you fly?"
For whatever reason, he needs to see me as a loser.
Shame.
Well...
I'm lucky to have him. He's a good reminder of what I don't want to become.
- So about Daphne... - So about the dress...
You first.
She dumped me, outta the blue.
And I guess I didn't want you to know.
She never gave me a reason. Maybe that's why I was talking to her, to find out why.
Did you find out?
Not really. Though I gotta say, the way she was hangin' with Original Cindy,
- That might be a clue. - It's a large life.
Yes, it is.
So about the dress.
I knew you were all bent out of shape about going to this thing.
I didn't want you to worry about a date that didn't fit in.
I wouldn't want you to fit in with that crowd.
Anyway...
Still, I'm returning it.
Don't do that. I want you to keep it.
Logan Cale, protector of all that is good and true, advocating larceny?
No. I'll call the store and have them charge it to me.
- Forget it. It's a waste of money. - No, it's not.
You look beautiful in it. In fact, you were the most beautiful woman there.
And you're absolutely right about Aunt Margo.
I'm gonna get in her face about that locket. After all, it was my mom's.
- How did you...? - Genetically engineered pickpocket.
Thank you.
Cinderella better get home.
Don't make any plans for Easter.
You don't wanna miss Uncle Jonas in his giant bunny outfit.
Ow!
Visiontext Subtitles: Adrian Isaac
ENGLISH SDH