Is this a proposal?
What do you think?
I want you to come home.
Mummy does too, darling. When?
It might be a long time.
Well, let's look at the evidence, shall we?
Bringing in class c drugs for prisoner?
Recognise this, do you?
Naughty.
What is it you want?
Come on. What, you think I can't make-up my own mind
about what goes on in this Nick?
Of course you can, son. As long as you checked it with her first.
Yeah, well, there's a lot worse than Nikki Wade about.
Shell dockley, for a start.
Shell? She's harmless.
Yeah, there's never anything you can pin on shell.
Makes you wonder if someone's tipping her off.
Anyway, home time.
And you're doing the cooking.
Sorry, didn't Sean tell you? He's my partner.
They ain't mine!
You want to know what this is about?
It's about this!
Jesus Christ!
You'll be stripped of all your present privileges.
You'll lose your job in the kitchen, and your present spend
will be halved for a period of 42 days.
You also be moved back into g1 and basic regime.
Morning.
Good morning.
Hi. How are you today?
I'm all right, John. You?
I can manage. I'm fine.
There we go. Thanks a lot.
Have a nice day. Thank you.
Hi, Tony. You all right?
Shit!
Damn.
She always manages to be a couple of minutes late.
You noticed?
You enjoying life back on basic, dockley?
Looks like it.
I'm gonna be back on the threes sooner than any of you wankers think!
Yeah? Well, us wankers won't bother holding our breath,
all right?
I'm only down here cos of that bitch lorna Rose!
My arse.
Poor shell.
Thanks, Tina.
Three and a half weeks? I hoped it would be sooner.
I know. I'm sorry, Monica.
Well, at least I've got a definite date.
Something to look forward to.
As long as I know I'm going to be able
to spend some time with Spencer, that's what matters.
Well, look, if I can speed the process up, I will.
But I'm afraid it's unlikely.
Well, it'll give me a bit longer to finish his jumper.
Is "arseholes" all one word?
How should I know?
Just asking.
What's it like being as thick as pig shit, Denny?
Shut it, shell. I'm thinking.
What did you do that for?
Don't know.
Just happened.
Oi, posh bitch.
Is "arseholes" one word?
No. It's hyphenated.
As in "arse-licker."
"Anyway, mum, hope you have a blinder of a birthday
"with lots and lots of love, David."
Ooh! I love that little boy to bits, I do, ju.
Isn't he a bit previous?
I mean, it ain't your birthday till next month, is it?
Yeah, well, of course.
I mean, I know that and you know that but, well, kids sometimes,
they're so eager to please, isn't they?
They rush ahead of their little selves.
What's he gonna forget about you next
while you're stuck in this bloody rubbish place, eh?
Eh, now come on. Don't you upset yourself.
Well, I can't help it.
He is clever, though, isn't he?
I mean, I don't remember doing nothing about fermentation
in biology when I was at school.
I don't remember doing nothing about biology.
Here, hang on a minute, ju.
Read us that bit again.
Bit about fermentation.
Which bit?
Here, hang on. Give us it here.
Here, this bit here.
"All you need - yeast, sugar, some fruit..."
Blah, blah, blah.
"Fermentation takes approximately four weeks."
My little love.
The little darlin'!
It's his present to me, don't you see?
He knows when me birthday is all right!
Four weeks!
I've missed you.
Yeah, well, you should have thought about that
when you let that shit-parcel put me back on basic.
That was your fault, darling.
There's no point blaming me.
You've got to get me back on enhanced. Fast.
You'll be lucky to get a sniff of enhanced this side of Christmas.
You've got me to thank you didn't get shipped out. Yeah?
Oh, yeah. You came this close.
Yeah, well, it's still your problem, mush,
cos I ain't up for any more of this until I'm back on the threes.
Fine.
If that's what you want, it's fine by me.
I mean, obviously I'm disappointed, shell,
but if that's the way it is...
It's so unfair!
Them jellies were lorna Rose's!
I've warned you, shell. I don't want to hear that crap.
But, Jim, you don't know how upset I get!
That bitch Wade queening about on my landing,
and I'm stuck down here with these shits!
Look...
..The only person that can help you
get back on the threes right now is you.
Behaving yourself.
Keeping your nose clean.
Being a good little girl guide.
But it ain't gonna happen overnight,
and you know it. Ok?
Oh, that's nice, David.
Try not to burn no holes in your trousers though, eh?
Oh, he's not lighting his farts again, is he?
Here, ask him about the other.
Oh, yeah, listen, tiddler.
Yeah, tell me some more about that what you wrote in the card.
Yeah, about the fermentation.
Yeah.
Three and a half weeks. 23rd.
Oh, Spencer can write that in his diary, can't you, Spencer?
Yeah.
You thought it might be sooner.
Well...
I'm knitting a certain someone a jumper.
Looks as if he needs it. He's still got that cold.
Yes. Have you found the page?
Yeah.
Twenty-third.
That's ages away!
You'll be home then?
You never know.
I don't think we're even warm.
No. Oh, Monica, are we warm?
Sorry?
Winemaking. Books on.
Oh. Only we can't see nothing.
No.
Well, I think you'd be lucky.
I can't imagine it's the sort of thing
the prison authorities would give the thumbs up to, can you?
Nazis.
What is it you wanted to know, exactly?
Oh, nothing.
Except... well, the thing is...
It's my little boy... David.
Yeah. He's learning all about fermentation
in biology at school. And, well...
He's got stuck with his homework. Fermentation.
So we thought that we'd try and find out
a bit about it for him in here, you see.
Yeah, and pass it on.
Hmm.
No. I can't help you with that. Sorry.
It's a shame, really, because when you said winemaking,
well, I could've been some use to you there.
I used to make quite a bit of wine at one stage.
Some of it was really rather good.
You know, you can make wine from anything, really.
Rice. Potatoes.
It doesn't have to be fruit.
Although that's ideal because it probably breaks down quicker.
So maybe four pounds of apples, say?
Mmm.
Six pints of water.
Two and a half pounds of sugar.
Yeast. Fresh, if you've got it.
Although you can use tablets, crushed.
And then the juice and zest of two lemons and an orange.
That it?
Mmm. I think so.
Then, of course, you need a demijohn and an airlock.
A Demi-what? Which should be sterilised.
Oh, and heat. That's very important.
I mean, ideally you should put it in an airing cupboard
for the fermentation process.
You weren't actually thinking
of trying to make some in here, were you?
I've been wondering if there's a way forward.
I mean, it wouldn't exactly be your appellation controlee
but if you could get hold of the ingredients,
then in theory the rest is possible.
Apple, Monica?
Oh! Very nice.
Thank you.
Apple, Denny?
Piss off, man.
I can't stand 'em. They rot your teeth.
Oh, all the better!
She mouths
you're mad. Why me?
It's just an idea.
You're cleaners! Why can't you use the kitchens?
Well, we did think of that. It's warm, it's clean.
Yeah, but it's too obvious. They'd find it.
All I can offer you is filthy and freezing.
Be perfect.
They'd never think of looking here.
Here, do you ever use that watering can?
Yeah, thanks, I do.
Oh, it's only for four weeks, Nikki.
Please?
Go on. It is for us.
You know you love us.
How you going to keep it at the right temperature?
Well, what we thought was we could take it in turns
to come out and hug it.
Pardon? Body heat, you know. Thought we'd take it in turns.
You can count me out. What about at night?
Doesn't it have to be kept warm permanently?
Does it? Oh, shit.
Hang on.
What?
There might be a way.
Yeah?
Yeah, I'll tell you later.
What do you want me to do with this watering can?
Sterilise it. Yeah? What with?
Sterilising tablets.
All right?
Everything's got to be sterilised.
Where'd you get those from? Mother and baby unit.
They chucked them out the window at us.
Yeah. They got loads of them.
Yeah, we thought it was snowing.
All you girls gainfully employed?
Yes, thanks, miss. Yes, miss.
Yeah. All right.
Nice. Mind how you go.
See you later. See you later.
I know something you don't.
So what?
The mad twins are brewing up some jungle juice.
And I got a share in it cos I gave them an apple.
All right, Julies.
Sugars, love? Ta.
Sugars, den?
Go on, then, twist my arm.
Got any yeast?
No.
Do you want some?
You got some? Might have. If I get an invite to the party.
Well, we was gonna invite you, shell.
You're the cabaret.
How soon can we have it?
Tomorrow?
"And now is the time to get away from the daily grind
"and spend some of that money on travelling.
"Perhaps the us or the far east.
"Spread your wings and go wherever your fancy takes you.
"You've earned it."
Yeah, right.
Say I'm clever.
You're very, very clever.
Are you sure this is going to work?
Fuckin' hell. Sod it.
Yeast. Where'd you get that from?
Shell. Oh, she got it off the doc for us.
Said she'd got heartburn and could she have some yeast tablets?
Hurry up!
What's going on here, then?
Nothing, miss.
You must think I was born last week, girl!
No, really, miss. I just... Get out of my way.
What you doing?
I knew you were up to something yesterday!
Oh, please, miss. You're not going to report us?
We were only having a quick feel.
You two shouldn't even be here!
I know. I'm sorry, miss.
Turns my stomach, your sort.
Come on, get out!
You're lucky I don't put you on report, the lot of you.
Disgusting.
Monica?
Miss Stewart wants to see you in her office now.
Oh, is it about my home visit?
I don't know. She didn't say.
Oh.
Come in, Monica.
Is it about my home visit to Spencer?
No, I'm afraid not.
Spencer?
I should've been with him.
Why-why wasn't I with him?
Why-why didn't I know?
Why didn't somebody tell me?
I think it was very sudden.
In his sleep.
I'm sure he knew nothing about it.
I should've been there.
None of this should be happening.
I know.
You know?
What do you know?
You know nothing!
You know nothing about me!
You know nothing about my life!
None of you.
You know nothing!
Nothing.
It's amazing the screws can't smell it.
I'm telling you, I felt pissed just walking past.
I can't wait.
Just seven more days and you're gonna have the best birthday
anyone's ever had in this shit hole.
All thanks to Monica!
What's the matter, ju?
I don't know. She looks terrible.
Monica?
Monica? What you done to her?
Monica! What's happened?
I want you to try and get some rest, Monica. Hmm?
Try and sleep.
Sleep? How can I sleep?
What the nurse has given you will help.
I don't want to sleep right now.
I need... I need to talk to people.
People need to be told.
There's plenty of time for that later once you've rested.
I can't... Rest.
Monica Lindsay's son Spencer died of a heart attack
sometime before nine o'clock this morning.
Needless to say, it was entirely unexpected.
Monica is in a state of shock. She's been sedated.
Now, I want everyone to treat her with the utmost respect.
Is that clear?
Any reasonable requests that she makes,
like using the phone, for instance,
I want you to make sure that they're granted.
Can we keep an eye on her? Every 15 minutes.
Ok, that's all. Thank you.
Do you think she's a suicide risk?
I'm not taking any chances.
"Utmost respect."
Just cos she's posh.
To me, a con is a con is a con,
and they don't get any special mollycoddling.
It's times like this makes them realise they shouldn't have done
whatever it was that brought them in here in the first place.
They'd never been apart.
Not once in 30 years.
I know. I know.
I know everything that you're going to say.
And I agree.
You're going to tell me that Spencer was serving a sentence, too.
Now he's dead because of it. I know that. I do know.
How can you do it?
How can you go home at night,
knowing that that woman is banged up
in a little brick box miles from her son's body?
What the shit kind of torture do you think she's going through?
I know what she's going through. That's why I've come to see you.
To ask you to be a good friend to her,
because she needs one just now, all right?
You amaze me.
I didn't come here for a debate.
You're full of shit! Like all the others!
You pretend you're not, but you are!
I know what dad'll say.
He'll say... Long pause...
"Oh, married? Oh. Very good."
And then he'll ask mum what we're having for tea.
And mum...
..Well, she'll probably pounce on you and start talking about
cakes and dresses and god knows what,
and we're gonna tell her to get stuffed.
Agreed?
Shit. I can't come.
What?
On Saturday, to your parents'. I can't make it.
I've got to accompany a prisoner to a funeral.
Well, can't someone else go?
I want to go.
It's someone that I let down really badly.
But you don't mind letting me down?
I'm sorry, Sean.
Look, just say that I'm useless and badly organised,
and I've got shit for brains.
Well, I better go and give them a ring.
What's up with you lot?
We're upset about Monica's Spencer.
Oh, yeah. I had a dog once that died.
Cut me up bad, that did. Well, it weren't my dog.
It was a friend's, but I loved that dog.
What happened to it?
I should never have stuck a firework up its arse!
Leave it out, shell.
Fuckin' hell. Only joking.
I'm just trying to cheer you miserable bleeders up.
Yeah, well, maybe some of us don't want cheering up, all right?
I can't start to imagine what you're going through, Monica.
No.
You can't.
No, I know.
But you've got to give into it and let yourself cry.
Doesn't do you any good just bottling things up.
I'm gonna get you some flowers from the garden, all right?
How is she?
She'll be fine.
Can't stop. Supposed to be busy.
I just brought you some things.
These are from me and Julie.
They're ten denier. Look, with a sheen.
You want to look your best, don't you, at the...
Anyway, Monica...
..We decided we're going to have a little wake.
For Spencer.
Tomorrow teatime. When you come back from...
..From the place.
And me and Julie,
we decided we're gonna crack open the chateau larkhall.
Especially.
In honour of Spencer.
Seeing as you helped us make it.
And cos...
..We all love you, Monica,
and we you to know that we care.
I've got to go.
You ask him. No, you ask him.
Both: Oh, mr fenner!
Hello.
You know this evening? After tea?
When Monica comes back from the funeral.
We was hoping to have a little wake.
For Spencer.
In our cell.
Just tea and biscuits.
A few hymns and prayers. That kind of thing.
How many of you?
Oh, just us two. Monica.
And Nikki.
Shell and Denny. Marie.
Crystal.
Oh, it ain't for us.
It's for Monica.
Please?
All right, then.
Dominic's on lates.
I'll tell him you've got half an hour.
But, Julies? Yeah?
No funny business. No.
Or there'll be consequences.
How is she?
Still not speaking.
Sorry about the other day, the way I spoke to you.
I'm taking her some flowers.
That's nice. Well, if I'm allowed to.
What do you mean? Flowers.
Usually they're banned from cells, aren't they?
Nikki...
Hey! Where do you think you're going with those?
I got permission from the governor.
So you know what you can do, don't you?
Shell. Guess what? What?
They're opening the hooch today. This afternoon.
When Monica gets back from the funeral.
That's nice.
Come on, den. Move it.
In.
Good luck.
Monica...
I'm sorry.
Spencer.
Monica.
I'm Monica's sister.
For god's sake, is that necessary?
Look at her.
Come on, Monica.
It's still raw! It's only been brewing three weeks.
It smells gorgeous.
You ain't gonna let us down now, are you, Nik?
It's for Monica.
Oh, I don't believe this.
Why can't you fetch it yourself? You get about as much as I do.
Cos it'd look suspicious, us hanging round your shed.
Have you got a plan?
Oh, yeah. You do a relay, backwards and forwards,
filling up your flask till everyone on the wing's got some.
Oh, piss off!
That is the biggest pile of bollocks I've ever heard!
Well, you think of something, then.
Why should I? It's your stuff!
You gotta help us. Nikki!
Oh, please. Please.
Jesus said
I am the resurrection and I am the life.
He who believes in me, though he die,
yet shall he live.
And whoever lives
and believes in me shall never die.
We brought nothing into the world
and we take nothing out.
The lord gives
and the lord takes away.
Blessed be the name of the lord.
What do you want? I want to see the governor.
She's not here. She's gone with Monica to the funeral.
I want to see whoever's in charge, then.
Well, fire away.
I don't know whether I should,
seeing as you don't believe a single word I say. Try me.
If I had some information about something,
about something going down...
This better not be about lorna Rose,
cos if it is, shell, I don't want to hear it.
It's not about her.
It's about someone else. One of the cons.
And if I was to bring it to your attention,
would that help me get back on the threes?
Well, it certainly wouldn't do you any harm.
Nikki Wade is making alcohol,
and I know where she's got it stashed.
I know that my redeemer liveth,
and he shall stand at the last day upon the earth.
We have entrusted our brother Spencer
into god's merciful keeping.
Now we commit his body to the ground.
Earth to earth...
..Ashes to ashes...
..Dust to dust.
Right, Nikki. There's two ways we can do this.
Either you tell me where it is, or I pull the place apart.
Do I know what you're talking about?
There's nothing I don't get to hear about.
You should know that by now. Sorry. Still not with you.
Little bird told me you'd gone into the brewing business.
I said to myself, "nah, Nikki wouldn't be so stupid.
"Not now she's got herself on enhanced."
And what little bird would that be, eh? Dockley?
Have you got anything in here you shouldn't have?
Like what?
Just wait here.
Oh, be my guest.
To the only wise god, our saviour,
be glory and majesty, dominion and power,
both now and ever.
May god in his infinite love and mercy
bring the whole church,
living and departed in the lord Jesus
to a joyful resurrection
and the fulfilment of his eternal kingdom.
Amen.
No!
I want to stay with him.
Monica!
I'm staying with you, Spencer.
Somebody help her! Somebody do something!
I'm staying with you now.
I shan't leave you this time.
I shan't go away.
Where the hell is she?
Don't know.
I've been thinking of sorting the old shithole out myself.
Oh, god!
That it, then? You finished?
Thanks very much. Much obliged.
Where is it?
Seems to me your little bird's been taking the piss, sir.
Tidy that lot up, will you, sweetheart?
Monica, it's time to go.
I'm sorry.
I'm gonna have to fill in a report about this.
I'm gonna have to answer questions. Why?
Because I took another officer in with me!
I'm gonna look like a fool and you'll just look like a liar!
This is the second time you've made me look stupid, you mad cow!
Yeah, well, you should've done yourself a favour
and looked properly, shouldn't you?
You ever thought that Wade might be winding you up?
It's there. I'm tellin' you!
Anyway, it ain't just Wade. It's all of 'em! It's the Julies.
They're gonna drink it tonight at this wake they got planned.
Is that right?
You think I'm going to make a prat of meself twice in one day,
all because of some vendetta you've got with Wade?
Do you want a shag?
Oh, do me a favour.
Jim...
You want to know when you're getting back on enhanced?
You're not! Ever!
Now get out!
Julies!
About bleedin' time!
Blinding!
Oh, shitty, shitty shit!
Damn! Oh, bollocks!
Bollocks!
Hang on.
What you doing? Well, we're gonna fill the sink, aren't we?
Relays. Now, come on.
What's it look like?
Shit. What's it taste like?
Fantastic.
Yes!
It's party time. Yeah, well, I think I might just give
this stupid stinking party a miss.
What for?
Guess what?
I had a visit from fenner earlier.
Some bastard knew and told the shitbag where to look.
Who?
Dockley.
No. She wouldn't do that.
No, Nik, she got us the yeast.
You never. Did you?
Shut up. Course I never.
You're losing your grip, dockley.
I don't know what you're talking about.
You'll want to get your facts straight next time.
Hey, Nikki!
You're coming to the wake, ain't you?
No, if it's all the same to you, I'll think I'll give it a miss.
Nikki, you can't do that. Nik!
So anyway, I said they could have half an hour.
Keep an eye on 'em. Yeah, no problem.
Oh, dear.
Where's Monica, then?
Must've got held up in the traffic.
We can't start without her.
Well, we'll have to. We've only got half hour.
There you go.
Right. Bottoms up!
Hey! Spencer.
I meant Spencer.
All: Spencer.
That is dis-bleeding-gusting.
We've found it helps
if you hold your nose like so when you swallow.
More?
Here, crack your fags, crack your fags.
It'll drown out the smell of the vino.
Are you gonna sing a song, then, shell?
Oh, yeah. Something nice. Something sad.
♪ If I should stay
♪ I will only be in your way... ♪
raucous laughter
Doesn't sound much like a wake to me.
Ma'am.
♪ That's all they really want
♪ I come home in the morning light
♪ my mother says when you gonna live your life... ♪
screw!
Amen.
Others: Amen.
She hiccups
you're being very brave.
It isn't as though I've got any choice, is it?
You've still got your appeal.
Not much point now.
Might as well stay here and rot.
Monica...
You will feel differently.
Just give it time.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Oh, yes.
I'll be here.
Come on, hurry up! Watch it, Jones!
Johnston, Saunders, you get back in there. Come on!
Come on, dockley. Blood, move it!
Come on! Come on! Get out! Come on!
Just keep it down!
Yes, my sister!
You're like a lot of squealing abdabs!
Wake, indeed.
Wake, my backside.
Monica?
Nikki, I think she needs some time on her own.
What, in here?
She'll be lucky.
I think I do as well.
You've got Sean to go home to.
Yeah.
Goodnight, Nikki.
Night, Helen.
Goodnight, Sylvia. Night, ma'am. Aghh!
Helen.
Night, miss. Night.
Bloody hell!
Night. Goodnight.
♪ Go to sleep, my baby
♪ close your pretty eyes... ♪
she sobs
♪ ..Angels up above you
♪ watching from the skies... ♪
Thinking of you, Monica!
Yeah! Love you, Monica!