''SOLD''
Wait, I'm hyperventiIating.
Don't stop now!
Oh, my darIing!
Oh, Lord!
Quit teIIing me you're too oId!
- I Iove you! - I Iove you too.
There's hair in my mouth...
Kids are fun to have and to make.
Say you want a baby with me.
I want a baby with you.
Janne...?
Listen...
WeII, I...
Have you been screwing again?
If you were my reaI father, you wouIdn't do that.
That might be because he's dead. Come here, Rickard.
Don't you have enough kids aIready?
Good morning!
- Does anyone know what day it is? - It's Christmas Eve?
- Yes, and are we expecting anyone? - Our daddies!
- Merry Christmas, Mom. - Oh, thank you, sweetheart.
Santa and my reaI daddy are coming today!
- Have you been good? - Yes!
Thank God Christmas onIy comes around once a year.
Christmas is great.
- Thanks, Mom! - You're weIcome, my darIings.
- Say thank you to Janne, too. - Thanks, Janne!
What about you, Rickard?
- Merry Christmas, sweetheart. - Is that for me?
You shouIdn't have...
Why... thank you.
It's great! Thank you!
Just what I needed! ReaIIy.
- I forgot to remove the price tag. - I didn't peek.
Sara...
Who's going to eat aII this? You mother?
No, It's for... the guests. There wiII be 14 of us.
- Who's coming? - The kid's dads and a few others.
- They're coming here? - Of course, we've invited them.
- Why didn't you teII me? - Come on, we've taIked about this.
I didn't reaIize we were actuaIIy going to do it.
Don't you remember Iast year?
You had to shuttIe the kids aII over the pIace.
This year, you won't have to Ieave the house.
- Why today, of aII days? - It happens to be Christmas.
I mean, isn't Christmas supposed to be a famiIy affair?
- WiII Ake be coming? - Yes, and so wiII Erik and Gunnar.
- And Ake... - It's going to be great, siIIy.
Forgive me for being oId-fashioned, but you'II have to canceI.
TeII them we're sick, or that we haven't taIked it through properIy!
- TeII them we're dead! - You know we can't do that.
- The kids wouId be so disappointed. - Don't my feeIings count?
- Here! - Don't be ridicuIous.
I'm the master here, they're coming here over my dead body.
WeIcome!
We're so gIad to see you.
HeIIo!
A IittIe present for you.
I guess Sara shouId have hired a butIer...
- You seem a IittIe stressed out. - I'm fine...
WeIcome!
- What a crowd! - Do you think so?
Hi, it's great that we're aII together.
AII the kids under one roof.
We'II just have to behave Iike aduIts today. Can we taIk Iater?
That Ieaves onIy Erik and PauIine.
Have I got his straight? Sara, our hostess this Christmas...
has kids with three different men, incIuding you.
And she now Iives with Janne, who doesn't have kids of his own.
And they're aII going to be there?
Yes, with their new wives.
And some of them used to be married to each other.
You'II figure it out. One good thing about Sara...
is she has seriaI reIationships.
She doesn't fooI around.
- Who was that? - No one.
- And Janne can deaI with this? - He's a psychoIogist.
Christmas is here again, Christmas is here again.
And Christmas Iasts untiI it's Easter.
Christmas is here again, Christmas is here again.
And Christmas Iasts untiI it's Easter...
- Come on, Janne! - Have some muIIed wine.
- It's good. - I know, I bought it.
- Oh, isn't this wonderfuI? - Rickard is the image of Janne.
You'd think he was Janne's, but I know he isn't.
Don't! You don't get to open it!
Daddy!
- Our daughter wants to open a gift. - That's so Iike you, Ake.
AIways giving in, hoping to keep the peace...
But that's not how it works, it just makes peopIe unhappy.
That's what you caII psychoIogy!
WeII, if Ake was scared of confIicts...
he wouIdn't have got you and Rita pregnant at the same time.
And is it true that your ex-wife became a Iesbian?
Let EIin open a present.
Hi, it's Jeanette. Is Ahmed in?
CouId you ask him to caII me, pIease?
I'm so happy. I reaIIy am.
I've been dreaming of a Christmas Iike this since I was a kid.
Lots of peopIe dancing, cracking nuts and Iaughing.
- It was just Mother, Micka, and me. - WeII, your father was dead.
- And why isn't Micka here? - She's with her girIfriend.
I'II get it, you can heat some more wine...WeIcome!
- Hi there, sweetie! - Hi, Merry Christmas!
- You must be Janne? - Yes...Oh, no.
- What the heII? - Let me heIp you with your things.
HeIIo, weIcome. I'm Janne I Iive here.
I didn't think twice about Ake Ietting us in.
This is Ake. He doesn't know his own name, or where he Iives.
It's so great you aII couId make it. Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas to you.
This is our hostess. Sara. Sara, this is Marika.
WeII, heIIo, but who are you?
Marika, 26 years oId. SingIe.
No kids, no cats, and I have no poIiticaI affiIiations.
What a IoveIy house! May I Iook around?
I'II show you around.
- Who is she? - Our neighbor.
This pIace is such a bore.
Rita, this is Marika... Rita's my woman.
This is Thomas.
They're not as bad as they Iook... They're much worse!
This is Anne, we Iive together.
Thomas is the onIy one here who hasn't sIept with Sara.
- My cousin's a homosexuaI, too. - How nice...
He's caIIed GunneI, and he's aImost as cute as you.
- Gunnar! - It's Thomas, you're with me now.
- Gunnar is your ex-husband. - My cousin's name is Gunnar.
Sometimes the Iift doesn't go aII the way to the top...
This is my brother Gunnar, who's handed down his wife to me.
CaII me ''GunneI''.
I'm, Eva, Gunnar's present wife.
I used to be married to Janne.
Rickard and Jeanette are my kids.
But Rickard Iive here... Have we confused you?
No.
We make joint decisions here.
But that's what we did.
That damned Ake acts Iike he stiII Iives here.
I've got an idea! You can christen the sauna with the guys.
- What, a sauna on Christmas Eve? - Yes!
You can show them what a good job you did...
You did nearIy everything yourseIf.
- But weren't we ready to eat? - That can wait.
None of the others couId have done such a good job.
- Do you reaIIy think so? - No in a miIIion years.
I turned it on earIier, just in case...
We'II eat Iater.
Listen, everyone!
WeII, Janne has a IittIe surprise!
Right...
WeII, aII the men are going to christen the sauna.
You women get to do womanIy things.
Like wiping the kid's noses, cooking, cIeaning up, and so on...
Isn't that a great idea?
- So, to the sauna, men! - Okay!
- I want to take a sauna too... - No, you stay with the women.
Take a sauna? I just get aII dressed up.
This is great!
- You did a good job here. - I'm proud of it...
You didn't do it aII.
I ran into some carpenters here a few weeks ago.
- Sara and I taIked about a sauna. - So did we, in my day.
Don't you remember, Ake? This used to be the boiIer room.
- You're Ietting out the heat. - It's hot in here.
- Run up to Mom. - I want to be with you.
- Then come in. - It's too hot.
Suit yourseIf, damn it!
- Aren't kids great? - HeII, yes. Speaking of kids...
- Don't you want a ''Iove chiId'', too? - We're working on it.
Not very hard. Sara gets pregnant if you wave your shorts at her.
- Maybe we're not compatibIe. - That's BuIIshit, just get busy.
One thing about Sara, she's a good Iay.
- Isn't that so, boys? - Right...
I've never had it better in my Iife than when I was with Sara.
It was fucking amazing!
She Ioved getting Iaid in the cIoset.
- What are you Iaughing about? - Sara in the cIoset.
Does she stiII do that, Janne?
Ake, weren't you the first to bat?
You haven't heard the best bit.
You mean the map?
- When was this? - I guess we were about 15.
You see, Sara wasn't satisfied, so she gave Ake...
a map of a cunt so he couId find his way around.
I Iooked and Iooked...
I had the damned thing upside down.
Speaking of the Iadies, Rita Iooks damned good for her age.
- The truth is, she's an animaI! - No kidding?
It feeIs good that Rita hasn't sIept with any of you guys.
How do you know? How can you be sure she hasn't?
She can just bareIy manage to be faithfuI.
- Wow...now it's reaIIy hot. - On to Sherwood Forest!
- Mats! - Yes, dear...
I'm coming.
They're having such a good time over there. So many peopIe, and kids.
A reaI Christmas.
We couId drop by Iater on.
We can give them that horribIe penguin your mother sent.
Merry Christmas was the message, not ''go to heII''!
Look!
I guess we'd better wait a whiIe.
- Hi. Are you aII aIone in here? - Yeah!
Good!
- I've known you a Iong time, right? - Right!
- And you're never wanted chiIdren. - No.
- You know how curious I am. - I sure do.
WeII, not that I find it credibIe...
but Ake says you and Sara are trying to have a baby.
I bet she says stuff Iike that to Iet Ake know how happy she is.
- What do you mean? - You never wanted kids.
Have you changed your mind?
If you have four kids, one more hardIy matters.
- But the first one is a big deaI. - And I don't have any kids.
I'm too oId to cart a tiny baby around.
- It's not reaIIy your decision. - It is, too.
Sorry, but the woman usuaIIy gets what she wants.
- I have a say in it too. I do! - HardIy.
- Do you want to bet? 500 kronor. - Try 500,000.
Are you sick? WeII, teII me the reason.
What's up?
Have you had a vasectomy?
- Why did you have a vasectomy? - What wouId you recommend?
Oh my God, that's unbeIievabIe! When did you have it done?
- Two years ago. - You met each other two years ago.
What did Sara have to say about that?
She doesn't know about it. You haven't toId Sara?
And you'II keep your mouth shut. You're the onIy one who knows!
- You must be out of your mind! - Rita...
You'd better button up that pretty mouth of yours!
- You pass the gas station... - It'II stick to her ear soon.
Pass the gas station. Turn right... Hush!
Not you, Ahmed... They're driving me nuts!
Listen Mohammed... Don't turn right at the station.
Park your cameI and Iet us
Swedes ceIebrate Christmas in peace.
Do you understand?
- You racist bastard! - Why don't you Ieave home?
- Find me an apartment! - And wiII prostitution pay for it?
You think anyone can be bought.
If the price is right, IittIe Iady.
- At the right price. - You cannibaI, you feed on peopIe!
- Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas.
Has anyone seen Janne?
Maybe he's stiII in the sauna.
How couId you?
It was a very simpIe operation.
It takes two to make that decision.
Doctor OIsson and I were in agreement.
We have kids, and I'm 47 years oId, damn it!
- Don't you want kids of your own? - No.
- Janne, you'II have to teII her. - Never.
She'd never forgive me
for foiIing her deepest desire.
She'II accept that I can't have kids.
I just heIped nature a IittIe.
Poor Sara...
Oh, there you are...
And so are you.
What were you taIking about?
Nice sauna.
Christmas secrets.
What did the guys say?
They thought the Carpenters did a reaIIy good job.
When we're seated at the tabIe...
CouIdn't you stand up and weIcome our guests?
- WouIdn't that be nice? - Of course, Iet me shower first.
Hey, joIIy gnomes fiII up the gIasses and we'II be merry together.
Our time is brief upon the earth with many troubIes and IittIe mirth.
Hey, joIIy gnomes fiII up the gIasses and we'II be merry together.
- Cheers! - Merry Christmas!
Go ahead and eat.
Won't you at Ieast drop this vegetarian crap at Christmas?
Vegan. It's not crap. Thousands of animaIs are murdered every day...
Not now! I mean it!
- I'm no good at speeches... - Then shut up!
If the brothers wouId pipe down, I'd Iike to say a few words.
''A few words'', that was three.
I'd Iike to propose a Christmas toast to Sara...
It was Sara's idea that we aII bury our hatchets...
Sara and Rita haven't spoken
since DanieI and EIin were born.
We're just a bunch of oId friends who became one big famiIy...
Ake was married to Sara whiIe he was fooIing around with Rita.
And they both got pregnant practicaIIy on the same day...
Maybe a IittIe Iater.
Let's ease up on the booze, and have a memorabIe Christmas.
They were in the same ward and gave birth on the same day.
This may even become a tradition.
And I'II be abIe to say to EIin and DanieI's kids...
that Granddad was present on that first occasion.
I'm not going to have kids, there are too many aIready.
EIin, you'II have pIenty of time to change your mind.
I'd Iike to propose a toast to the kids since Christmas is for kids.
- And for Jesus! - And for Jesus too, certainIy...
Merry Christmas!
Thank you, Ake.
WeII...
To aII you dear peopIe who sit at our tabIe tonight...
I means the worId to me that you're here. It reaIIy does.
And Janne, my darIing...
I have something I wouId Iike to teII you.
Something important...
and very wonderfuI.
- I'm carrying our ''Iove chiId''. - What?
CongratuIations!
That's right...
You'II finaIIy be a father for reaI.
- That's my Christmas gift to you. - CongratuIations, Sara.
Yes, isn't it wonderfuI? A IittIe baby...
Aren't you pIeased?
- I'm sorry? - Aren't you pIeased?
Of course I am, I'm just a IittIe surprised.
It's no ordinary surprise.
Now Iet's aII rise and cheer for Sara and Janne.
Sit down, Janne. You're the man of the house.
And we toast...
I think this caIIs for...
- Hip, hip... - Hurrah...
Hi!
How are you? Aren't you pIeased?
Of course I am.
You don't act pIeased.
Why didn't you teII me in private?
I tried, but the kids interrupted aII the time...
You couId have taken the time...
TeIIing everyone Iike that!
You put me on the spot.
Why are you so grouchy?
I thought you'd be happy.
You can be a father.
Your sperm's okay and you're not too oId.
I think it was a fine occasion to teII it.
That's obviousIy your opinion.
Is something eIse bothering you?
No!
- Come on, DonaId Duck's on! - We've seen it before.
That's just the point, young Iady. It's what you caII a tradition.
But it's the same as Iast year.
Can't you just join us big kids? Oh, never mind!
We're busy, you fucking fatso!
- Tape it if it's so important. - It's just not done!
I don't know why, but so much weIIs up inside...
when I think about how sweet Janne was to me back then.
When RoIand died, I feIt Iike having a baby with Janne, too.
Jeanette and Rickard were stiII smaII,
and we were so in Iove.
Were you together when RoIand died?
RoIand and I went to marriage counseIing. With Janne...
We'd hit a reaIIy rough patch no intimacy at aII.
And the kids just screamed whenever we Iooked at each other...
You made it with your therapist?
It might have been a bad choice.
RoIand was reaIIy hurt, but we were reaIIy in Iove.
Poor RoIand, that's shitty.
What was he doing driving around in the middIe of the night?
Oh, gentIeman
I'd accepted the fact that Janne didn't want to have kids.
But he's having one with Sara.
That means that he just didn't want one with me...
- It's not Iike that... - What do you mean?
- Can you keep a secret? - Of course I can.
Janne can't possibIy be the father of Sara's chiId...
He's had a vasectomy.
Excuse me?
- Janne isn't capabIe... - HoId on...
- Doesn't Sara know about it? - No.
- But who is the father? - You teII me...
- Good God! - Don't teII a souI.
- I mean... - I won't.
SiIent night, hoIy night.
AII is caIm, AII is bright...
Round you virgin mother and chiId.
You have to teII her. Anything eIse is crueIty.
She's the one who has something to teII me!
SIeep in heavenIy peace.
SiIent night, hoIy night.
AII is caIm, AII is bright...
Shepherds quake at the sight...
- I'm going to find out who it is. - How do you propose to do that?
I hope you're aware your husband is the prime suspect.
Ake?
...Christ the Savior, is born!
Midnight reigns, 'tis so quiet in the houses
in the houses...
If it's Ake, I'm going to kiII him!
Do you prefer the others?
I'm sure it's that horny bastard.
He'd jump a worm if it had tits.
See the eIves sneak...
Sara has tits.
Listening, watching,
tippy-toeing forward, tip-toe forward.
I swear it brings tears to my eyes!
- How does she find the time? - She's great with kids.
- Aren't they cIever? - Very.
When did you find the time?
A Iot goes on when you're at work.
So, Rickard Iives here and not with you?
We have no choice, the kid detests me.
It seems strange to say it, but Rickard is better off here.
More mothers shouId be so unseIfish about where their kids Iive.
- I guess that's what I am: seIfish. - But I have to Iive with you!
- You're free to move out. - What are you saying?
Mom, why do you Iive with Fatso? I don't Iike it.
Stop it! Rickard reacts Iike this.
His therapist says he has a great need for attention.
- Stop it! - Why not give him attention?
If you onIy knew!
Crazy oId Gunnar buys everything Rickard points at.
I doubt that's what his therapist meant. Just think about it a IittIe.
Why don't peopIe reaIize everyone can be bought? Kids incIuded.
- Does Janne reaIIy want a chiId? - Of course he does, Mom.
- He Ioves me! - That's not the same thing.
- ShouId I take this out? - Yes, pIease.
- What a nice dress. - Thanks! I got it in London.
You know what the EngIish say about a pregnant woman?
Isn't that cute?
They mean that she is two peopIe in one.
She pays for two, because she has
a IittIe one in her beIIy.
Right!
- When were you in London? - The beginning of November.
What did you do beside shopping?
We'II have to taIk about it sometime.
About what? I have no idea what you are taIking about.
Stop it!
What's the matter, do you feeI queasy?
Are you going to have a baby too?
To get pregnant you have to...fuck!
Eva, I toId Janne that he has to teII Sara.
WeII, he shouId have done that two years ago.
He thinks Ake sIept with Sara.
- Why does he think that? - Ahmed's coming to get me soon.
- He says Ake wouId screw anything. - You mean anybody.
- No, anything. - Did you hear me?
Who did Ake screw? Besides you and Sara.
Listen, you IittIe witch. You won't Iive Iong if you keep this up.
It's Christmas,
is Ahmed aIIowed out on Christmas Eve?
- They're MusIims, Mom. - WeII, you're not going anywhere.
You spend Christmas with the famiIy. It's a Swedish tradition, you know.
Jesus was Swedish? I had no idea!
You're nuts, I'm Ieaving when Ahmed gets here.
- Mats! Can you find some string? - I can't find anything!
I'm just happy I managed to find this IittIe Iady.
WeII, this wiII have to do.
Come on. Mats you're such a coward.
You can't give green penguins to peopIe you don't know.
Who made aII this food? It must have taken weeks.
Super Mom.
Without that woman, the worId wouId be Iess popuIated.
You just have to do your best.
I'II adopt if I have kids.
- Adopt me. - Where do you Iive?
Thank God. I managed to procreate naturaIIy.
- Adoption is for barren peopIe. - Come on!
When hormones and test tubes don't work, they have to adopt.
It's the second-best thing, and you know it, Ake.
Anyone who had a choice wants their own kids.
Not someone eIse's.
You don't know if it'II be white and Iook Iike you.
These are our new neighbors.
HeIena, Mats and IittIe Josefin.
WeII, HeIIo...
We came to wish you a Merry Christmas.
- We moved in yesterday. - Now nice!
She's adorabIe...
I'II get back to you.
I'm Sara. WeIcome.
It's kind of a mess here. We're a big famiIy.
- Merry Christmas. - Thank you.
Where is she from?
- Vietnam. - Asia. Now...nice.
We'd better be on out way...
PIease stay, there's Iots of food.
- I'II see them to the door. - WeIcome...
I said the girI was cute, right?
isn't that so...
But I said she was a very nice chiId, I did...
Don't worry, by tomorrow they'II have forgotten aII about it.
Have some brandy.
- I'II report her to the poIice! - Because you...
We can't have kids of our own?
Racism. Harassment. Anything.
- Harassing adoptive parents? - This doesn't seem to bother you.
- Why Iet it bother you? - I demand an apoIogy!
She shouId get down on her knees!
- Is that reaIIy necessary? - I want her to come to me!
How cIever of you to moonIight on Christmas Eve.
- How many stops for Santa? - Five!
Hope it pays weII! Remember, you get her over here to apoIogize.
And if she doesn't, you're out of here!
We shouId have given her the damned penguin!
I reaIIy put my foot in it...
They must think I'm a racist.
I meant that if you had the choice...
It's not that bad.
- No one appreciates my efforts. - Of course they do.
And you don't seem the Ieast bit happy about the baby.
Maybe you don't want a baby with me?
- Of course I... - Do you want the baby?
- It's not as simpIe as that. - Answer me!
- Do you want the baby or not? - Maybe not right now...
You're 47, when did you pIan on having a baby?
- A Iot of peopIe oIder than me... - It's ''than I'', not ''than me''.
- Can't you just teII the truth? - There's Jack NichoIson...
Lennart Bernadotte and Yassir Arafat...
Do you, or do you not, want the baby?
No, I don't want to have chiIdren.
- Do you want me to get an abortion? - Yes, I do.
- Good God. Why? - For a Iot of reasons, damn it.
I'm very busy at work,
and I'm up for promotion in six ''months'' time.
I bareIy have the time to drive the kids around as it is.
They go to daycare...
to hockey and swimming and riding and vioIin Iessons.
- To choir practice and... - Acting cIasses.
- The whoIe house is fuII of kids. - Then you've been Iying aII aIong.
This morning you said you wanted a baby. Were you Iying?
- What the heII was I to say? - How about the truth?
I Iove you, but...
You don't want the baby, right?
If that's the case, then you can Ieave!
Get the heII out of here! The choice is yours.
Okay. If that's the way you want it.
- What's the matter? - Erik's seeing someone.
Are you sure about that?
He doesn't taIk to me. He doesn't touch me...
I just know it...
- Do you know who it is? - No.
I never reaIIy thought about having kids...
- But with Erik it... - Just feIt right?
How Iong had you known each other, something Iike 15 minutes?
Twenty.
You didn't know him very weII. How weII do I know him now?
Why wouId he want someone eIse? What am I doing wrong?
You don't mean to teII me that you think it's your fauIt?
You was want to know a secret? Promise not to teII anyone.
Janne isn't the father of Sara's baby.
He's had a vasectomy and Sara doesn't know...
What's so bad about that?
- Come on... - Erik!
Then it's got to be Erik!
What's this? We haven't even opened our Christmas presents...
I've had my present.
- A baby isn't a gift. - You said so, in your IittIe speech.
Janne...
- Janne, Iook at me. I Iove you. - I Iove you too.
But I refuse to have an abortion.
We'II have to taIk about it another time.
This couIdn't' possibIy have ruined everything between us?
Yes, it has, it feeIs Iike we shouId form a suicide pact.
Why not do it tonight? Bring in the kids, and Ake...
Sorry.
Let's puII ourseIves together, and go and be the worId's best coupIe.
- Is this what you want to do? - Yes, it is.
I promise to be very nice to your former husbands.
I'm reaIIy going to try to get to know them for reaI.
- You need heIp? - No, I got it.
Pretty girI, Smart!
The kind of girI who knows what she wants. WouIdn't she be fun?
How are things with you and Rita?
Like I said, we can bareIy manage to be faithfuI.
You said she bareIy managed to be faithfuI.
- There's no difference. - If you say so...
Why are you making a fooI of yourseIf over her, then?
I'm not chasing her.
No, not a horny bastard Iike you.
Some of us manage to resist temptation,
other poor deviIs can't.
Nice to hear that you and Sara are friends again.
- Yes, it's nice. - That can happen after a whiIe.
You see things you haven't seen before
and rekindIe the fIame.
- Third time's the charm, right? - What are you taIking about?
Look, Rita is a good friend.
If I find out you've been cheating on her, I'm going to...
I don't know what your probIem is, but it has nothing to do with me.
Ho, ho, ho... Are there any good chiIdren here?
No.
- No good chiIdren at aII? - No.
- Have I gone to the wrong house? - ProbabIy. Merry Christmas.
- Who was that? - Some cIown in a Santa suit.
Santa! Come back. The kids are expecting you.
This is my husband, Janne. This is Santa.
Here, take this and go in.
- Are there any good chiIdren here? - Yes!
- EIin hasn't been very good. - Oh, is that so?
Let's see. Here's a present for DanieI.
Merry X-mas...
How's the construction business?
How's the fruitcake business?
- Here's a big gift for LiseIotte... - That's me.
It's from your parents. Maybe they shouId heIp you open it.
I can manage on my own.
You see, that Iady is my Mom.
And her first husband is my father...
Pardon me if I seem impertinent
but is there something wrong with your eyes?
You haven't visited Johanna much IateIy.
I guess you come when I'm at work.
I've bareIy seen you at aII this autumn.
You haven't been in when I come.
That's what I gathered.
- Is that a probIem? - No, I'm a psychoIogist.
Look!
You'd better teII me what's up.
Sara, she put her sweater on backwards.
What the heII's our probIem? I'm taIking to you.
- Here's a gift for Janne... - WeII, what do you know?
Thank you, Santa.
- What the heII is your probIem? - CaIm down.
I want to know what he's up to.
Quiet. Janne had a vasectomy.
It's true, he toId Rita that in the sauna.
That means the baby's not his!
Wow, a computer!
I wished for one, didn't I, Janne?
Mom and Sara!
Thanks, Gunnar!
There you go.
- My IittIe friend... - Thanks, Gunnar!
Who the heII moved the garbage bags, and why?
Who is she? And don't you dare ask who I mean!
- Why change something that works? - What a good question.
There isn't any ''she''
Who are you so secretive with on the phone?
Who do you see after work?
Why do you turn off your phone?
Is it a co-worker?
- It's Sara, isn't it? - You must be out of your mind.
You might as weII admit it!
LiseIotte is ours.
And, by the way, Sara happens to be pregnant!
- Check out this computer! - It's great.
And how are you doing?
Good friends, booze and figs. What do you think?
Sara's done such a nice job. Santa and aII...
Forgive me! Good friends, booze,
figs and Santa.
- Pinch me! - I was just thinking.
We're the onIy ones who haven't had kids with Sara.
How does that feeI?
I sIeep weII, I don't have eating disorders. And I can't say...
that I'm afraid to die, not reaIIy.
I was just wondering if you... feIt Ieft out.
- Poor guy! - I know I'm innocent.
I can't understand why Janne just doesn't teII her.
Do you think he wants his kneecaps crushed?
- He figured his secret was safe. - That's impossibIe.
Because then he never wouId have toId it to you.
HeIena!
Open the damned door.
- I'm freezing to death! - You're drunk.
- Where is she? - She's...
- She's at home. - Did you teII her to apoIogize?
- But I was Santa... - You get her over here!
Even if you have to drag her by the hair!
We ought to teII Janne, He's making a fooI of himseIf pIaying detective.
- TeII him what? - I don't know... That we know.
What exactIy do we know?
- He doesn't know that we know. - Right, I know.
I aImost feIt Iike teIIing him that I'd sIept with Sara, too.
WeII, it was tempting after aII that taIk about Iove and caring.
Is Sara reaIIy that hot in the cIoset?
HeII, don't even think about it!
I knew you'd stiII be in here!
Why do you think Erik is seeing someone eIse?
I can feeI it in my whoIe body, which Erik never touches...
What wouId you do in my situation?
As a psychoIogist I wouId suggest... honesty.
It's very important to be honest in your deaIings with one another.
Dare to be vuInerabIe. TaIk to each other caImIy...
- I think it's Sara. - Get him to sIip up.
Ask the question in different ways. Don't Iet him know you suspect.
Why do you think so?
- Can you prove it? - I can sense it.
I just thought of something.
Pretend you know more than you do. Best way to get him to taIk.
- Lay a coupIe of traps, too. - What do you suggest?
I've got it. TeII him that you've discussed it with the other woman.
- I shouId pretend? - Right, then the bastard...
He'II reaIize the game is up.
Oh Iord, Iook at aII that porridge!
I've never seen as much in my whoIe Iife...put together.
It took ages!
ShouId vegans eat porridge? MiIk comes from cows...
and they must suffer tremendousIy when they're miIked!
Big brother, big idiot. LittIe brother, IittIe idiot.
Listen, everyone!
- Has anyone found the aImond? - No!
- I found it, but I ate it. - You're supposed to make a wish!
What a IittIe nut case he is!
My wish is that Mom and Janne wouId get married...
so we couId move to a big red house in the country.
- What's he on about? - What's up with you peopIe?
Either you ridicuIe the kids, or you taIk over their heads.
- How many kids do you have? - None!
But I've been a kid myseIf!
I'm sorry, but I get mad when aduIts onIy think of themseIves...
and change mates Iike they change their underwear.
It's time for a song. I'II get the drinks.
- How can you stand it, bro? - Therapy...
PeopIe shouId onIy have kids...
if they want to Iove them and heIp them become good peopIe.
No just to fuIfiI a dream, keep a man...
tie a woman to her kitchen, or just feeI needed.
Indeed!
Erik, Gunnar, or even Ake...
TeII her how much I Iove my kids.
WouIdn't it be nice if someone came to my defense?
I'm being attacked by someone who doesn't even have kids herseIf!
- I stand by my opinion! - Is that right? How interesting.
- Don't Iet your boobs pop out. - You don't have that probIem.
- HeIp yourseIves. - Right, why stay sober?
Isn't it bIoody typicaI that Ake pIays host?
Cheers!
At Ieast he's trying.
Of course. He's such a nice guy, and we aII shouId be gratefuI.
Come on, you guys.
Now Iet's aII have a nice time and take care of each other.
Let's ceIebrate Christmas and enjoy each other's company.
Merry Christmas...
I won't make a Iong speech.
I just wanted to say: Cheers, you gang-bangers!
Gang-bangers? Men who have fucked the same girI.
Isn't that right?
- What's going on? - What?
You're stiII mad because I didn't teII you?
- Did you think I'd just get over it? - I was hoping you'd happy.
DarIing, don't you think we have enough chiIdren?
- Our chiId wiII have the best dad. - Don't suck up, pIease.
What do you want me to do? What's done is done.
Don't you think I know? I know Sara, I know.
- What do you mean? - Just teII the truth.
- Admit that you've been unfaithfuI. - What?
No wonder someone found his way.
Ake has a map and compass.
- What are you insinuating? - That you're hiding things.
Like that Ake took you virginity.
Or that you had an on-and-off reIationship.
I don't know who your first girI was.
Lotta Person. I though she enjoyed it, but she threw up.
- Don't change the fucking subject. - I didn't think it was important.
- I've never been unfaithfuI. Never! - WeII, aren't you a cIever one?
Who was it? Was it Ake?
Why do you think that Ake and I...?
Or was it Gunnar, Erik, or possibIy Thomas?
Are you accusing me of something, is that what you're doing?
Why not answer my question? Why are you avoiding it?
- Why do you think I was unfaithfuI? - Because I...
- I can see it. - You can see it? Wow!
That's a good one. The psychoIogist has spoken!
- Can you prove it? - I can sense it.
Damn you! I've aIways been IoyaI to you.
You get out! Get out now!
You've ruined my Christmas Eve!
But you made mine speciaI.
Get out of here!
CaIm down, who's next?
I reaIIy Iove Christmas. Who needs TV?
- Or Lars Noren, for that matter? - Who's he?
''You won't have to Ieave the house...'', she said.
- Are you done eating aIready? - Yes, it was deIicious.
- What happened to Janne? - He went for a waIk.
- To buy a newspaper. - On Christmas Eve?
- Fig? - Shut the fuck up...
Oh, no!
- What's up? - How much is it?
- Where are you going? - To the office.
My wife threw me out. I have to get warm, I'm freezing.
- Where's your office? - Downtown.
21 kronor.
Here's five.
It seems that's aII I have right now.
- CouIdn't you just...? - You're in Sweden now.
How wouId it Iook if everyone rode for free?
Just get off the bus.
It's Christmas Eve, damn it!
That's nice, thank you. I'II take that.
- So, what are you going to do? - I'II wipe the fIoor, of course.
Do you have any idea what a fIoor Iike this costs?
What are you going to do?
I know! I'II give birth at home.
Right!
I mean, I was born here, so it's be Iike a famiIy tradition.
Nonsense, you were born in the hospitaI.
Then the whoIe famiIy couId be together.
It wouId be a group effort.
You know, at times...
I Iove them aII so mush that it hurts inside.
Can you recaII the feeIing?
A tiny baby cIimbing into your bed saying: ''Mom, I Iove you''?
As opposed to a big, hairy man cIimbing into bed saying I Iove you?
It feeIs so right with Janne.
Sara, you just threw Janne out.
I doesn't have to be Erik, it couId be any one of you.
You're aII her exes. Except for Thomas, of course.
- I aIready said I was innocent. - What's that?
- What is Thomas innocent of? - The budget deficit.
The destruction of the rain forests and MichaeI Jackson's nose.
- Do you Iove me? Say it... - I Iove you!
TeII me you Iove me!
Daddy. Mommy.
- Hi there... - Aren't you in bed?
- Go pIay some pIace eIse. - I'm not tired.
- Why don't you go upstairs? - I haven't even yawned.
Go up and we'II tuck you in.
No, we're going to pIay house.
Hey, I've got a great idea.
Let's pIay upstairs. Won't that be fun?
- Sara...? - No...
- What the heII are you doing here? - Sara...
I need to see...Sara.
Come back next year.
LiseIotte mentioned something...
He wouId be the best father in the worId.
He aIready is a great stepfather.
- WeII, it's her pIay... - CouId it be because of Ake?
- That he was here tonight. - I thought the opening was...
- I never meant to hurt Janne. - No, I know that.
- It's important to LiseIotte. - You see...
He doesn't have the sIightest reason...
Everything I touch turns into a disaster!
Don't cry.
None of the rest of us couId have put on a Christmas Iike this.
You're strong and capabIe.
And you're a great mom.
Thanks.
That damned weII figures!
- Erik! - Christ...
Erik...
- Erik! -Oh, No
- PIease don't touch me! - What's going on?
Erik
What's this about Erik? I thought you were mad at Ake?
- That he took over and pIayed host. - PIayed host, you say?
And what do you caII what Erik did for you?
What about Erik? What's eating you?
Mommy wiII be right with you.
- Did you get your newspaper? - Shut up!
- Listen to me! - Who are you?
What gives you the right to dump on me and run away?
You've got it aII wrong.
If Sara Ieaves Janne aIone,
he wiII be happy. That's psychoIogy!
- This sucks! - Janne!
He's a IittIe upset...
It's educationaI seeing a pro handIe a crisis situation.
- Mom's pregnant again. - We don't need any more kids.
Janne wiII Ieave. That's what men do when they have babies.
There you are!
Rickard says Janne's moving.
No, he's just a IittIe angry.
- Is he moving out? - Are you pIeased with your gifts?
Wasn't the computer a great gift?
He took his suitcase.
AII Moms and Dads have fights at times.
It doesn't mean we don't Iove each other.
- Or that we're getting divorced. - You divorced my dad.
- And mine. - And mine.
WeII...
Janne, what are you doing?
Move!
Stop it! Take it easy, Janne!
- That's Erik's car. - I know!
- Where are you going? - Away from here!
Why? WeII, what do you think?
- I've had enough... - Enough what?
- Porridge? Figs? Booze? - Its Erik's. Erik's!
- What's Erik's? - The baby Sara's carrying, damn it!
- Shit...How do you know that? - Does it reaIIy matter?
If it's not his, then it has to be somebody's.
I don't get it. Don't you and Sara have sex?
I'II teII you why I don't want a chiId with Sara
the reaI reason.
I can't stand that she's sIept with every guy in town...
and had kids with haIf of them.
I picture her with Gunnar, Erik,
and Ake, and I can't handIe it.
That's great coming from a psychoIogist, right?
You're a man, too. You're normaI aImost normaI...
You shouIdn't make fun of Marika for being gay.
- She can't heIp what she is. - I'm not gay.
And when you Ieft Thomas, I got him!
Doesn't that brain of yours work? Marika wasn't married to Thomas.
He and Micka have a 19-year-oId daughter.
How couId Marika have a 19-years-oId?
I mean, she can't be more than 25 herseIf?
- I give up. - What do you peopIe actuaIIy do?
I mean, I understand what men do, but how do you do it?
Do what? Lay raiIroad tracks?
Brush their teeth? Perform sack races?
- Don't you ever miss a penis? - Yuck!
I don't want to picture what two men do in bed.
It's disgusting. It's just not naturaI.
There's been a IittIe misunderstanding here.
I understand where you're coming from. I reaIIy do.
I'm not prejudiced against homosexuaIs.
CouId I have a hug?
It's macho buIIshit to not accept...
that a woman has had a Iife before you.
Three Iives.
Let's go in, there are Iots of goodies in the kitchen.
You shouId know, you're the one who Iives here...
- I've had enough of this. - Janne!
- You're drunk! - WeII, isn't that a stroke of Iuck?
Does Sara HamreII Iive here?
Yes, over there. Number 34.
- What do you want her for? - A discussion on aduItery.
- What's going on? - I'm damned if I know.
- Janne thinks it's yours. - I'd vote for Ake, myseIf.
- Ake? Did you do it? - You must be out of your mind.
You do suit each other and maybe the third time's a charm.
Ake and Sara make a good coupIe?
Sure, you're too smart for him.
Damn it, you may be right.
- Did you knock Sara up? - HeII, no. Not this time.
Damn you!
- You've got to beIieve me. - I don't have to do any such thing.
- You're such a bad Iiar. - That's not true.
I'm no worse at Iying than other peopIe.
Your ears turn red when you Iie, you stupid ox!
I Iove you, I'd never do anything...
Are you happy now? I'm Carina BoIander.
My husband Kenneth Ieft me tonight, on Christmas Eve.
Are you ready to deaI with this mess?
I knew it! I just know it! You've been screwing...
You've deceived me! Don't Iie! She's right here!
So, you're having an affair with my husband?
- PauIine, it's not Iike you think. - No, because it's Sara.
- Who's Kenneth? - Who are you?
You're not sIeeping with Carina?
No, Erik's sIeeping with Kenneth!
That's why he's Ieaving me.
HoIy shit!
Kenneth's Ieaving me for Erik.
He had to come out of some damned cIoset, or whatever it was he said.
On Christmas Eve...
They've been faggots the whoIe time. They're Iied!
On Christmas Eve, do you hear me!
Christmas Eve...
I'm...gay, homosexuaI.
When did you find that out?
When I saw you in the sauna.
- I need a drink. - What's wrong with that one?
It's gone.
So that's why you weren't interested.
You're been Iying aII these years?
I never Iied to you or PauIine.
But maybe I've been Iying to myseIf.
HeIIo, I'II be over soon. Kiss.
May the one who has no guiIt throw the first stone.
- Poor PauIine... - I'm sure she'II keep her cooI.
- Just one minute, young Iady! - This isn't good for me.
Nonsense, we're doing this for your sake.
For the sake of our chiIdren.
How many of your cIassmates Iive with their bioIogicaI parents?
- There's Lisa... - This is a modern famiIy, you know.
- I think we've done a good job. - Right!
Not many famiIies can handIe...
ceIebrating Christmas with the exes, step-kids and everything...
- Yeah, and Janne got a vasectomy... - That's not the point!
You're pretty square for your age.
Yeah, I don't buy friends.
I don't Iook down Iadies' dresses and I don't sIeep with my therapist.
- Have you and Ahmed...? - Of course we have!
Teens have Iots of sex. We try aII the positions.
You're not pregnant?
Being here teaches me one thing.
To use doubIe condoms for the rest of my Iife!
- What's so wrong with us? - Thomas can't shut up.
Anne's drunk, Ake's horny, Sara gets pregnant
Janne smashes cars, Erik's gay and PauIine cries.
Do I reaIIy need to go on?
Now you know I haven't sIept with Erik.
- Then it must be Ake. - Stop it! Let's aII stop it.
Can't we get aIong and have a nice Christmas?
- I ask again: Did you cheat on me? - No!
- Which one of us was the best? - WeII, my feIIow gang-bangers...
Sara's pregnant and I want to know by whom.
I haven't sIept with anyone but you!
- Why don't you beIieve me? - Janne...
Don't you have something to teII us?
Sara's pregnant without cheating on me.
And I've had a vasectomy.
No, you've got to be kidding!
This must be some kind of joke. You've had a vasectomy...
and I wouIdn't know? I don't buy that.
This is just some sick way...
to find out if I've been unfaithfuI.
- TeII me it isn't true! - It's my Iife and my decision.
- You can't do things Iike that! - TeII, I did.
You can't be...? Is that what you mean?
- You can't be a father? - You weren't supposed to know.
You're unbeIievabIe! You're fucking unbeIievabIe!
Was I just supposed to worry why I didn't get pregnant every month?
- You can't do things Iike that! - It's was my decision.
You decided that I... What were you thinking?
Did it ever cross your mind that I wanted a baby very badIy?
That's exactIy my point, dear.
So you made the decision: No more kids for me.
- Who do you think you are, God? - It aImost seems that way...
Is nothing sacred to you? I just don't get it...
- How couId you? - WeII, how couId you?
You're aII out of your minds!
- That's it, I'm Ieaving - No, you're not!
Mother!
Our Christmas, our famiIy, everything's a shambIes...
My dear, sweat, IittIe girI...
- TeII me what's happened. - It's Janne...
Janne's had vasectomy.
- He's destroyed my Iife. - But the baby...
But you're pregnant. Which one of them is the father?
I want you aII to swear it isn't you!
- Put a sock in it... - Shut up!
Hands up and repeat after me. Raise your hands, damn it!
- And stand up! - We've aIready toId you we didn't...
Raise your hands and repeat after me...
Not you!
We soIemnIy swear...
That we haven't fucked Sara HamreII...
- That...But we have. - I mean recentIy!
- RecentIy, I mean. - I'm not pIaying this game.
Stand up!
We soIemnIy swear...
That we haven't fucked Sara HamreII.
- That we haven't fucked Sara. - RecentIy.
- Who the heII couId it be? - Sara...
Sara...
- What do you want Sara for? - WouIdn't you Iike to know?
- What do you want Sara for? - I'm not teIIing you.
-Sara -What the heII?
So you're the fucker!
Die, you fucking Santa!
Sara
That fucking bastard!
- Let go, I'm going to kiII him! - Stop it!
- You even fucked Santa CIaus! - Stop it!
I've had artificiaI insemination!
I was inseminated when I was in London.
Time passed...
We tried. We tried for two whoIe years.
I was afraid you couIdn't... That you couIdn't be a father.
We've been so happy.
The kids Iove you as much I as do.
- Sara... - I wanted to heIp nature aIong.
I thought you'd be pIeased.
It doesn't matter who the fathered the chiId
because this baby is a gift of Iove to you.
I did it for your sake.
For you.
I thought you'd never find out.
''ONE YEAR LATER''
I'm not Iactating, so I get to drink.
- Hi there, Gus! - Is he awake?
Come here, sweetie.
Did you have a nice nap?
Hi! Anything happen yet?
- This is Ahmed. - Hi, Ahmed. Merry Christmas.
WeII, my dearest famiIy members...
Once again we are together...
and that makes me very happy.
Janne, my Iove, is here aIong with out darIing baby boy.
Janne, I have something I'd Iike to teII you...
No, no, no!
HoId on now!
Listen to me. PIease Iisten!
Come on!
WiII you give me a break?
Listen!
''FOR SALE''