1 00:00:01,280 --> 00:00:04,989 Z hold fast to the law 2 00:00:05,120 --> 00:00:09,432 z of the last cold Tome 3 00:00:09,560 --> 00:00:13,314 z where the earth of the truth 4 00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:17,638 ♪ lies thick upon the page 5 00:00:17,760 --> 00:00:20,479 z and the loam of faith 6 00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:23,068 ♪ in the ink long fled 7 00:00:23,200 --> 00:00:28,115 z from the drone of the nib flows on 8 00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:34,156 ♪ till the last of the first depart 9 00:00:34,280 --> 00:00:39,308 ♪ and the least of the past is dust 10 00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:42,034 2z and the dust 11 00:00:42,160 --> 00:00:48,759 2z the dust is lost 12 00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:52,714 z hold fast 13 00:00:52,840 --> 00:00:57,834 ♪ gormenghast 14 00:00:57,960 --> 00:01:02,750 ♪ gormenghast, ♪ 15 00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:31,352 Poet... 16 00:01:31,480 --> 00:01:34,790 Day of... ancient... 17 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:37,639 Time of the 23rd Earl. 18 00:01:37,760 --> 00:01:39,159 Hm... did he? 19 00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:42,472 Ha. 20 00:01:42,600 --> 00:01:44,079 Ha! 21 00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:50,070 The reading of the laureate's ten-year meditation on... art! 22 00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:51,679 Pfft! 23 00:01:54,960 --> 00:01:58,669 Damned art. Damned poetry. Damned poetic ass! 24 00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:01,776 He won't have finished it. And he'll want it changed at the last minute. Damned... 25 00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:03,119 Ass! 26 00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:06,038 - Damned... - Don't worry, damned arse-wipe, 27 00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:08,913 your assistant knows the ritual of the poet off by heart! 28 00:02:10,600 --> 00:02:11,874 He'll do it for you. 29 00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:15,471 Like he does everything else. 30 00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:24,394 Excuse me, lordship! 31 00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:35,469 Titus! Titus groan! This is no racetrack, young sir! 32 00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:37,716 I am allowed to ride after breakfast, 33 00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:40,718 and in the castle, between eight and nine on a Monday morning. 34 00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:42,671 That's the rules, professor bellgrove, sir. 35 00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:43,869 Quite. Quite so. 36 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:46,992 But no permission to trample your old schoolmaster half to death, 37 00:02:47,120 --> 00:02:50,112 am I correct? Yes, I am. 38 00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:52,151 You look pale, young lordship. 39 00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:54,111 Are you all right? 40 00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:56,176 You haven't been riding over somebody's ghost, have you? 41 00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:57,428 There's no such thing, sir! 42 00:02:57,560 --> 00:03:00,552 Hm. Er, punctuality, Titus! 43 00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:05,037 Tardiness is next to cleanliness! Don't be late! 44 00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:07,720 They were floating about 30 yards out. 45 00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:09,717 Here, look. Two hats... 46 00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:13,155 And a letter. 47 00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:23,398 Oh! What do you make of that? 48 00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:25,158 "No more fire. 49 00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:27,396 "Our lips are sealed. 50 00:03:27,520 --> 00:03:31,115 "Our power is in water." 51 00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:33,913 Clarice and Cora? Hm! 52 00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:35,837 The appearance given, mr secretary, 53 00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:38,758 is that their two ladyships have drowned themselves. 54 00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:40,871 Good riddance, if you ask me. Hm! 55 00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:06,308 Do you have a goat? 56 00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:08,192 A goat, ladyship? 57 00:04:08,320 --> 00:04:09,594 Milk - for the cats. 58 00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:14,157 Ah! I see what you mean! A goat! Have I got a goat? 59 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:24,797 - Ah, that's better. - Bring my goat. 60 00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:29,551 - Your goat? - The goat, man. Bring it. 61 00:04:32,280 --> 00:04:33,952 We haven't got a goat. 62 00:04:34,080 --> 00:04:37,959 I require service, not sophistry! Get my goat! 63 00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:45,397 I am amazed, ladyship - where are the traditions of service? 64 00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:46,555 How old are you? 65 00:04:46,680 --> 00:04:49,399 Er... 38, madam. 66 00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:51,033 Sit down. 67 00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:52,434 Ladyship. 68 00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:59,035 Er, five years, madam. 69 00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:02,038 I've been thinking. Since the burning of the library 70 00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:05,277 and the disappearance of my husband, things have been wrong. 71 00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:09,109 For years, something uneasy. Do you feel it, squallor? 72 00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:11,151 And now Clarice and Cora. 73 00:05:11,280 --> 00:05:13,510 Bodies not found, not buried. 74 00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:19,158 Their note mentioned a burning, ladyship. Perhaps it was they who...? 75 00:05:19,280 --> 00:05:20,349 Burn the library? 76 00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:23,199 A groan burn a groan? Never! 77 00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:25,834 Made me think of it all again. 78 00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:28,030 There is something among us. 79 00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:29,991 There is stench. 80 00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:31,553 I can smell it. 81 00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:33,830 Do you mean... 82 00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:36,190 Rebellion, ladyship? 83 00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:41,269 Rebellion? Who would dare rebel against gormenghast? 84 00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:45,314 - Forgive me, madam. - I want you to watch. 85 00:05:45,440 --> 00:05:47,192 Watch for me, do you hear? 86 00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:50,153 If there is such a thing as rebellion, we shall find it. 87 00:05:50,280 --> 00:05:51,679 Do you understand me, squallor? 88 00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:53,518 I have no doubt, ladyship. 89 00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:00,839 Ooh. Ooh... 90 00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:06,876 - I've found one, doctor! - Wrong sex, you idiot! 91 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:11,312 - You bring the female goat, you fool! - Female goat? 92 00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:15,958 - Take it away. - Ha! 93 00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:27,156 I have a faith in you, squallor. I don't know why. 94 00:06:27,280 --> 00:06:28,998 - I am honoured, madam. - Mark my words... 95 00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:32,317 If this thing exists, it shall be crushed. 96 00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:34,192 Steerpike! 97 00:06:37,240 --> 00:06:40,391 Steerpike! You're a pest! Never where I need you! 98 00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:41,555 Yes, sir. 99 00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:47,870 And don't call me sir if you don't mean it, you obsequious rat! 100 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:49,752 Double suicide, no bodies. 101 00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:51,199 No bodies, no funeral. 102 00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:52,719 Where are we then? 103 00:06:52,840 --> 00:06:54,432 We could bury their hats, sir. 104 00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:58,269 I'll wipe that grin off your clock, damn slug! 105 00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:01,551 - Ooh! - Get me corpses! 106 00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:02,874 And quick! 107 00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:19,399 As a matter of fact, I don't think I will, mr secretary barquentine. 108 00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:22,592 Arse-wipe and shit-licker... sir. 109 00:07:38,480 --> 00:07:41,313 Huh! 110 00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:46,833 Doggit! Is that really you behind that mask of grime and ink? 111 00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:51,317 If it is, are you trying to carve your name in your desk 112 00:07:51,440 --> 00:07:53,715 when you thought your master was asleep? 113 00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:55,558 Yes, sir. 114 00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:58,513 Having a go at the whole thing, were you, doggit? 115 00:07:58,640 --> 00:08:00,437 Only done the first three letters, sir. 116 00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:03,632 Yes, well, you can leave the second g till later, boy. 117 00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:05,478 The second g, sir? 118 00:08:05,600 --> 00:08:07,192 Yes. There are two gs in... 119 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,550 Damn it, boy! Don't you know how to spell your own name? 120 00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:15,117 Come on, off you go. Shoo! 121 00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:25,513 It's break, young lordship. 122 00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:27,312 Milk and a biscuit? 123 00:08:37,640 --> 00:08:41,519 Stop playing with your teeth, bellgrove. It's damn rude! 124 00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:43,278 I am in pain, mr perch. 125 00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:45,709 And what the hell have my teeth got to do with you? 126 00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:49,230 You're a hoarder, you damn pedant! 127 00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:50,793 Get them extracted! 128 00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:55,316 Oh, poor old fangs! 129 00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:57,908 Fangs? Is that how you consider me, fluke? 130 00:08:58,040 --> 00:09:00,429 Canine! I'll remind you that, 131 00:09:00,560 --> 00:09:05,475 15 short years ago, I was considered for headmaster! Yes, fluke, headmaster. 132 00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:06,600 Ow! 133 00:09:06,640 --> 00:09:08,710 Pain doesn't exist, dear boy. 134 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:12,116 It is merely an expression of inner disturbance. 135 00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:15,915 The fact that you imagine it to be in your teeth is interesting. 136 00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:18,634 Have you said something you regret lately? 137 00:09:18,760 --> 00:09:19,636 Ow! 138 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:22,718 Pain doesn't exist, dear boy! 139 00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:24,796 Perhaps we've put our foot in it lately, have we? 140 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:27,400 Death! 141 00:09:27,520 --> 00:09:30,637 I can hear it squeak. Here it comes. 142 00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:35,635 Make way for death! Make way for death! 143 00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:38,194 De'ath, man! De'ath! He has a name! Show some respect! 144 00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:40,276 It's the headmaster! Get out of it! 145 00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:44,154 He's got something to say! A notice for you all! 146 00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:45,554 Uh! 147 00:09:45,680 --> 00:09:46,999 Oh... 148 00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:50,317 Who are all these people? 149 00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:52,590 It's your staff, headmaster. 150 00:09:52,720 --> 00:09:54,199 - Oh. - Shall I... 151 00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:56,709 Shall I get bellgrove to read the edict? 152 00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:58,751 Why not? 153 00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:02,077 What an honour, headmaster! Thank you. An edict! 154 00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:04,634 Read it! Hurry up. It's from barquentine. 155 00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:06,239 Get your teeth into it, bellgrove! 156 00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:09,796 Yes. Can he understand more than seven words in a row? 157 00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:11,558 Silence! 158 00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:13,193 Professor bellgrove. 159 00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:16,471 "Reference, lord Titus, 77th Earl. 160 00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:21,833 "I, being secretary barquentine, give notice to remind you that no privileges 161 00:10:21,960 --> 00:10:25,635 "of caste, class or title shall be afforded the aforesaid lord, 162 00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:27,990 "according to the iron-clad precedents of gormenghast. 163 00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:31,635 "He shall be of the ordinary, no more, no less, 164 00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:33,432 "until his time of reason and puberty. 165 00:10:33,560 --> 00:10:37,314 "Take note - you exist to teach, not Fawn." 166 00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:41,035 - Fawn? - Barquentine, you bastard bugger! 167 00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:46,188 "Headmaster de'ath, I would have you impress upon your staff 168 00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:49,869 "the magnitude of their office and, in particular, those who confuse 169 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:51,797 "their calling with indolence. 170 00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:55,549 "Signed, as for barquentine, steerpike." 171 00:10:55,680 --> 00:10:56,908 Steerpike? 172 00:10:57,040 --> 00:11:00,271 It's you, bellgrove. The whole damn thing's aimed at you! 173 00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:01,515 How dare you! 174 00:11:01,640 --> 00:11:04,757 Ha! But you teach his lordship, don't you? 175 00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:08,668 Who did you say all these people were? 176 00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:11,917 Nothing you need be concerned with, headmaster. 177 00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:14,315 - Out! Out! - No! 178 00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:16,829 - Death's out! - No! 179 00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:22,230 Steerpike, you bastard bugger! 180 00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:54,796 It's worse! 181 00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:58,435 300 dead and rising. 182 00:11:58,560 --> 00:12:01,518 And what a way to die! 183 00:12:01,640 --> 00:12:04,916 The fever, the boils, the blood! 184 00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:07,759 Most of them beg for the mercy of death! 185 00:12:07,880 --> 00:12:09,472 What about gertrude? 186 00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:12,239 She is quarantined, like you. 187 00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:14,430 Are you saying she's not even dead yet? 188 00:12:14,560 --> 00:12:16,118 Not even ill? 189 00:12:16,240 --> 00:12:20,631 I hear the lady fuchsia's looking feverish, so there's hope yet. 190 00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:22,910 Surely, the time for you to emerge 191 00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:25,759 and claim your rightful power cannot be far away. 192 00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:27,871 We want some servants. 193 00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:31,913 If I knew they weren't infected, I'd bring you a hundred! 194 00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:33,712 But what would be more tragic? 195 00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:36,400 For you to be struck down at the very moment 196 00:12:36,520 --> 00:12:38,909 when you were to mount your golden thrones? 197 00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:40,519 Are they ready? 198 00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:44,072 We want to see them. 199 00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:48,193 Ladyships, I am trying to keep the plague from your door! 200 00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:52,279 How dare you make these demands on me! 201 00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:55,119 How dare you! 202 00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:57,629 I won't tolerate it! 203 00:12:57,760 --> 00:13:00,194 Get under the carpet! 204 00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:04,273 Get under the carpet now! 205 00:13:06,360 --> 00:13:08,476 Get under it! 206 00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:10,636 Or you'll get nothing! 207 00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:12,113 No servants, 208 00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:13,593 no crowns, 209 00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:14,789 no thrones! 210 00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:16,148 Nothing! 211 00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:20,474 Get under the carpet! 212 00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:25,473 Thank you. 213 00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:30,548 Now I shall continue to protect you and return with provisions by and by. 214 00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:55,432 - We could, couldn't we? - We could do it together. 215 00:13:56,520 --> 00:14:00,274 - Next time he comes. - We could, couldn't we? 216 00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:03,835 Both: We could kill him. 217 00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:07,919 The ninth day of the month. 218 00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:11,196 The ninth, mr secretary. 219 00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:13,151 That's what I said! 220 00:14:13,280 --> 00:14:16,716 The egg should be blue, not red. 221 00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:20,469 The ninth, you dolt! Didn't I say the ninth? 222 00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:23,592 The egg should be blue, not red. 223 00:14:25,040 --> 00:14:28,191 In addition to your daily scholastic duties, lordship. 224 00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:29,833 11 o'clock, 225 00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:33,589 release of the five hawks from the north-east turret. 226 00:14:33,720 --> 00:14:38,635 1.15, the groaning of the dungeon 227 00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:41,433 with your sister, lady fuchsia. 228 00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:47,193 Four o'clock, blessing of the meat racks. 229 00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:50,232 Five o'clock, the ceremony of the laureate, 230 00:14:50,360 --> 00:14:55,832 the reading of the ten-year meditation on art - most important, lordship. 231 00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:56,114 Lesson... lesson over. 232 00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:03,229 Lordship, is that you? We must rehearse 233 00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:05,191 the ceremony of the laureate. 234 00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:06,799 Come back! 235 00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:09,195 Delights of the rigours of ancient learning. 236 00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:12,151 - Where's the boy? - Boy, sir? What boy? 237 00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:16,114 Don't "what boy" me! There was a boy in this corridor just now, I saw him. 238 00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:17,559 Where is he?! 239 00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:19,955 With respect, mr secretary, you are here confronted 240 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:23,231 with the greatest group of experts on boys possibly ever assembled. 241 00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:25,635 We know what a boy looks like, what he sounds like and... 242 00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:28,136 - What the idiot had for dinner! - If I may, professor perch... 243 00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:30,230 Where's the sodding boy?! 244 00:16:30,360 --> 00:16:31,873 Bugger the bastard! 245 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:34,719 I apologise for the tone of my colleague, mr secretary... 246 00:16:34,840 --> 00:16:37,229 But not necessarily his intention. 247 00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:45,958 You have protected a boy with insolence! 248 00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:47,957 If I may say, sir, it was not I who... 249 00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:50,833 Let me just say, bellgrove, 250 00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:54,714 that this afternoon is the ceremony of the laureate. 251 00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:59,630 If every boy, and I mean every boy, is not there assembled, 252 00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:04,231 I will personally twist your malodorous intestines 253 00:17:04,360 --> 00:17:06,715 around your brainless skull! 254 00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:07,989 Stand aside! 255 00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:15,438 Titus? 256 00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:16,629 Titus! 257 00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:19,672 I know where you went, boy. Come on. 258 00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:27,439 Ti... Titus! 259 00:17:29,360 --> 00:17:31,999 Titus? Titus, come back! 260 00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:34,190 Lordship, please! 261 00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:36,914 It's the ceremony. Have you forgotten? 262 00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:38,359 Titus! 263 00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:44,155 Oh! Me, an expert on boys? 264 00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:47,272 You're a silly old fool, professor bellgrove! 265 00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:20,596 The hall of bright carvings. I must be near to the castle wall! 266 00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:14,154 Out. 267 00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:17,358 I'm out of it! 268 00:19:55,120 --> 00:19:57,429 All boys ready for the day of the laureate, headmaster. 269 00:19:57,560 --> 00:20:00,518 Barquentine wants them counted. 270 00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:08,548 - Is he asleep? - Famous for somnolent awareness, sir. 271 00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:15,752 Once a kitchen slug, always a kitchen slug. 272 00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:19,954 All boys, headmaster! 273 00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:22,674 Every single one of them! 274 00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:25,792 Drainage! 275 00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:35,833 All clear! 276 00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:40,998 All: Yes! 277 00:20:48,360 --> 00:20:49,509 All clear! 278 00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:55,278 All: Yes! 279 00:20:57,440 --> 00:20:58,440 All clear. 280 00:21:01,680 --> 00:21:06,151 Look out, it's the headmaster! Look out! Death is coming! 281 00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:10,393 Head count! Secretary barquentine has ordered a head count! 282 00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:11,589 All boys to be counted! 283 00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:13,039 The headmaster! 284 00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:18,874 Headmaster! 285 00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:29,756 What? What? What? 286 00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:35,678 What happened? What...? 287 00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:40,112 Asleep! Are you accusing me of dereliction of duty? 288 00:21:40,240 --> 00:21:43,391 I'll have you retract those words! I was cogitating. 289 00:21:43,520 --> 00:21:47,069 A particularly deep problem on the nature of ambition, as it happens. 290 00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:52,957 Besides, what were you all doing in my inner sanctum, en masse, may I add? 291 00:21:53,080 --> 00:21:56,914 It's the young Earl, sir. He's gone missing. 292 00:21:57,040 --> 00:22:00,077 Supposed to be in your class, wasn't he? 293 00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:04,591 My class? Do you mean he wasn't? Oh, bless my soul! 294 00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:06,551 What do you suggest we do about it? 295 00:22:06,680 --> 00:22:08,511 I? Suggest? 296 00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:12,713 B-b-b-but why should it be I who does the suggesting? 297 00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:15,593 Stupid bugger. Doesn't get it, does he? 298 00:22:15,720 --> 00:22:18,632 Headmaster, what are we going to do? 299 00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:19,795 Headmaster? 300 00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:24,391 The previous, if he could be said to have existed at all, 301 00:22:24,520 --> 00:22:27,080 now without any doubt doesn't. 302 00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:30,795 And as the most senior member of staff, bellgrove, 303 00:22:30,920 --> 00:22:33,195 whatever your qualifications, 304 00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:35,788 the burden now falls on you! 305 00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:37,797 Me? 306 00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:40,957 Head... head-headmaster? 307 00:22:41,080 --> 00:22:42,115 I... 308 00:22:42,240 --> 00:22:47,075 What do you mean, whatever my qualifications? Upstart! Sluggard! 309 00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:52,269 Stop that, fluke! Your wheezing sets my teeth on edge. 310 00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:56,791 Yes. Things are going to change around here, you know. A new order has begun 311 00:22:56,920 --> 00:23:01,755 and the first thing you will all do is listen to your new headmaster! 312 00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:04,719 Out with it, then. 313 00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:06,273 Out with what, mule? 314 00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:07,913 The Earl, tosspot! 315 00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:10,793 Oh, the Earl? He's gone missing! What do we do? Calm! 316 00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:15,198 We stay calm, gentlemen. Your headmaster is here. Authority at last. 317 00:23:15,320 --> 00:23:16,753 What...? Search! 318 00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:21,192 Search for him, that's what we do. Search parties! Yes! Never fear, gentlemen. 319 00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:25,393 The young Earl shall be found and I, bellgrove, shall find him! 320 00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:05,796 Titus! She will be your little sister... 321 00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:09,789 And you will love her. 322 00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:21,878 Wait! Come back! 323 00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:29,031 Wait! I think I know you. I won't hurt you. Wait! 324 00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:36,718 Come on, come on! 325 00:24:39,360 --> 00:24:40,679 Uh... 326 00:24:42,360 --> 00:24:44,715 Well? Where is he? 327 00:24:44,840 --> 00:24:47,736 Mr secretary, I would have you know that I have risen somewhat in my profession 328 00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:50,069 and I am now, as you might say, at the zenith of it. 329 00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:52,616 And as head of our proud school, I would be grateful if you did not address me 330 00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:55,473 - in such disrespectful tones. - Shut up! 331 00:24:55,600 --> 00:24:57,556 You useless, elongated fart! 332 00:24:59,200 --> 00:25:01,839 I'm damned if I'll see the tradition of 1,000 years 333 00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:04,076 - ruined by some damned little... - Little what? 334 00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:07,112 Earl, madam, little Earl. 335 00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:14,355 - Where is he? - No sign, mr secretary, I'm afraid. 336 00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:16,755 Oh! Gah! 337 00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:20,270 We'll do it without him! Take a boy, any boy. 338 00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:22,356 Put the ribbon in his hair. Stand him down there 339 00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:28,077 and when I say so, tell him to give the laureate his idiot poem. 340 00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:31,351 Well, do it! Sit there like some turd-struck grub! Do it! 341 00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:32,993 Doggit, doggit, get up, boy. 342 00:25:33,120 --> 00:25:34,736 - Who, sir? Me, sir? - You. Yes, yes. Come on. 343 00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:37,672 Hold this. Stand still. Come on. 344 00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:40,519 - Find him, piddle-brain. - Quick. Stand still, stand still. 345 00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:45,077 Earl or no Earl, I'll teach him to flout the traditions of this place! 346 00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:46,976 There we are. Now, look lively. 347 00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:49,560 Over there. Go, go, go. Take it up the steps, boy. 348 00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:52,672 Oh, don't show off, doggit! Come on, you ass of a child. 349 00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:55,030 Up the steps! Up the steps, boy. 350 00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:56,752 Hurry! Come on. 351 00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:02,639 No! My odes! My work! Ten years, ten years! 352 00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:06,230 Ten years of crap, no doubt! Leave it! Leave it! 353 00:26:06,360 --> 00:26:11,992 Damn doggerel! Damn his lordship! Damn him! Damn! 354 00:26:12,120 --> 00:26:14,475 Damn! Where is he? 355 00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:17,990 Where in hell is he?! 356 00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:21,071 I'm lost. 357 00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:29,518 Where are you? 358 00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:49,471 Who are you? 359 00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:53,389 Flay. 360 00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:55,795 I've heard of you, mr flay. 361 00:26:56,960 --> 00:26:58,837 You were my father's servant. 362 00:27:02,560 --> 00:27:04,676 Where is this? 363 00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:06,836 It's my home, lordship. 364 00:27:08,360 --> 00:27:10,351 Are you ill? 365 00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:11,754 Not ill, boy. 366 00:27:12,920 --> 00:27:14,273 Banished. 367 00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:17,676 Banished? Why? 368 00:27:21,080 --> 00:27:23,116 Knew you right away, lordship. 369 00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:26,158 The eyes. 370 00:27:27,320 --> 00:27:29,117 Eat rabbit? 371 00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:30,719 I snare, see? 372 00:27:32,160 --> 00:27:34,196 New life. 373 00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:35,958 Look after flay. 374 00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:38,752 That's it. 375 00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:43,308 Duty gone. 376 00:27:44,640 --> 00:27:46,437 I'm very sorry, mr flay. 377 00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:51,590 Mr flay, I saw something in a forest of trees made of stone. 378 00:27:51,720 --> 00:27:52,948 She was on a branch. 379 00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:57,232 - She? Small thing? Fast? - She moved like lightning, mr flay. 380 00:27:57,360 --> 00:28:00,955 - Don't go near her. - Why, mr flay? 381 00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:03,594 She seemed to me to be very free and easy. 382 00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:05,631 Leave her! Free? 383 00:28:05,760 --> 00:28:08,274 Duty, lordship, 384 00:28:08,400 --> 00:28:11,870 ancient duty! All there is. 385 00:28:13,120 --> 00:28:15,839 - Your father said. - I never saw my father. 386 00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:18,838 You did, boy. You saw him. 387 00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:21,952 And what was he like? 388 00:28:22,080 --> 00:28:25,152 Earl of gormenghast. 389 00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:26,793 Did he love me? 390 00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:33,598 Why would he say, "leave the girl alone," mr flay? 391 00:28:33,720 --> 00:28:36,439 Not girl, wild thing! 392 00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:37,993 Comes from carvers. 393 00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:39,678 Steals from own. 394 00:28:39,800 --> 00:28:42,268 Not of the stones. 395 00:28:44,040 --> 00:28:46,713 Bad, lordship, bad. 396 00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:50,310 Sleep. 397 00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:52,112 Take you back. 398 00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:55,348 Eat. 399 00:29:09,400 --> 00:29:11,630 I like you very much, mr flay. 400 00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:19,118 This whelp has searched. No sign, your ladyship. 401 00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:20,753 Then search again! 402 00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:23,235 And this time, you'll succeed, barquentine, 403 00:29:23,360 --> 00:29:25,112 or I'll have your head on a spike! 404 00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:26,309 Yes, madam. 405 00:29:28,840 --> 00:29:31,229 He turned up in my room ten minutes ago. 406 00:29:31,360 --> 00:29:32,713 Mr flay brought me back. 407 00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:34,717 Why was he banished, mother? 408 00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:36,068 I know no flay. 409 00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:38,316 - Mother? - I know no flay! 410 00:29:40,640 --> 00:29:42,232 What do you do with him, mr secretary? 411 00:29:42,360 --> 00:29:46,194 What can be done? He's gone. A faithful servant. 412 00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:47,639 We don't have many. 413 00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:50,957 The boy! What do you do with his lordship? 414 00:29:51,080 --> 00:29:52,718 He ran! 415 00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:54,353 What's his punishment? 416 00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:59,793 In you go, young sir. You brought it on your own head, remember. 417 00:30:01,560 --> 00:30:03,471 Use the time to think. 418 00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:09,032 Banished! 419 00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:24,551 Fuchsia: Six for searching, seven for heaven, 420 00:30:24,680 --> 00:30:26,830 eight for aching... 421 00:30:26,960 --> 00:30:29,110 Huh? Ah! 422 00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:36,791 Nine for nothing, 423 00:30:36,920 --> 00:30:38,353 ten for less. 424 00:30:38,480 --> 00:30:40,152 Lady fuchsia. 425 00:30:40,280 --> 00:30:43,238 - May I join you? - What do you want? 426 00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:47,797 Just to walk with you. If it would please you. Nothing else. 427 00:30:47,920 --> 00:30:50,388 The wood is free. I can't stop you, can I? 428 00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:53,512 You can walk behind me, if you like. 429 00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:00,797 Nothing is free, lady fuchsia. 430 00:31:02,200 --> 00:31:04,270 You said, "the wood is free." 431 00:31:04,400 --> 00:31:07,790 I don't believe anything is free... Except dreams. 432 00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:10,798 - What do you know of dreams? - We all dream. 433 00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:14,674 I dream of equality, as a matter of fact. 434 00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:20,318 I believe there should be no poor, no rich, no strong or weak. 435 00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:25,719 Equality is everything, don't you think, lady fuchsia? 436 00:31:28,520 --> 00:31:30,556 I wouldn't know anything about it. 437 00:31:36,680 --> 00:31:38,477 Don't you think it's wrong 438 00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:42,912 if some people starve and other people have so much they waste it? 439 00:31:43,040 --> 00:31:46,794 Don't you think the brave and the skilful should be rewarded? 440 00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:49,798 Don't you think talent is as important as wealth? 441 00:31:49,920 --> 00:31:51,592 It's raining! 442 00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:55,912 Don't you think cruelty and greed should be stopped for good? 443 00:31:57,800 --> 00:31:59,074 I'm getting wet. 444 00:32:04,040 --> 00:32:06,793 No! I'm getting soaked! 445 00:32:09,840 --> 00:32:12,354 No, lady fuchsia! Not that way! 446 00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:17,552 Lady fuchsia! 447 00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:21,551 Lady fuchsia! 448 00:32:39,160 --> 00:32:41,958 - Where does it hurt? - I'm all right. 449 00:32:42,080 --> 00:32:44,799 Don't be a hero. I know you're brave. 450 00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:47,070 I want to know exactly where it hurts. 451 00:32:50,200 --> 00:32:51,952 It's my leg. 452 00:32:52,080 --> 00:32:53,752 I'm cold. 453 00:32:56,920 --> 00:32:59,559 Gently, gently. Come on. Come on. 454 00:33:00,840 --> 00:33:03,195 Head wound, doctor. Leg might be broken! 455 00:33:03,320 --> 00:33:06,153 Show me quickly, dear boy. Fetch men and a stretcher. I'll get my bag. 456 00:33:06,280 --> 00:33:08,555 Stay still! Don't move. 457 00:33:09,600 --> 00:33:10,874 Perfect. 458 00:33:12,120 --> 00:33:13,792 You are magnificent! 459 00:33:13,920 --> 00:33:17,390 I thank you, madam. At your service. 460 00:33:18,720 --> 00:33:20,551 At my service! 461 00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:24,472 Ah! 462 00:33:24,600 --> 00:33:27,319 Oh, do try not to jolt her! Steady. Steady there! 463 00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:29,158 This is no ordinary cargo! 464 00:33:29,280 --> 00:33:31,999 Oh, my precious! My precious. Oh! 465 00:33:32,120 --> 00:33:33,348 Not you! 466 00:33:33,480 --> 00:33:34,959 Kitchen boy! 467 00:33:47,160 --> 00:33:48,513 Life is amusing. 468 00:33:48,640 --> 00:33:49,914 Isn't it?! 469 00:33:54,040 --> 00:33:56,600 Not a bone in the least broken. 470 00:33:56,720 --> 00:33:59,154 Anatomically quite sound, your ladyship. 471 00:33:59,280 --> 00:34:00,599 Where's steerpike? 472 00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:02,790 You don't want to see that horrid thing, do you? 473 00:34:02,920 --> 00:34:05,673 No! No, not at all. 474 00:34:13,960 --> 00:34:16,520 I hate them! I hate them! 475 00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:18,312 Who, my agitato sister? 476 00:34:18,440 --> 00:34:21,955 Oh, why do you never listen to me?! 477 00:34:22,080 --> 00:34:23,479 Flesh of my flesh, 478 00:34:23,600 --> 00:34:26,637 to cut me would be to carve at the very marrow of yourself! 479 00:34:26,760 --> 00:34:28,840 Wouldn't the flap of an envelope be more appropriate? 480 00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:30,837 Why should I be punished like this? 481 00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:33,474 Am I without charm, or grace, or intellect? 482 00:34:33,600 --> 00:34:36,353 Bulging bag of all three, my talented tyro. 483 00:34:36,480 --> 00:34:38,835 So why do I never have any advances paid to me? 484 00:34:38,960 --> 00:34:40,439 Are you speaking financially? 485 00:34:40,560 --> 00:34:43,438 No, Alfred, I am not, and well you know it! 486 00:34:43,560 --> 00:34:46,438 I mean, what's wrong with your sex? Can't they see 487 00:34:46,560 --> 00:34:48,676 my neck, my hair? 488 00:34:48,800 --> 00:34:50,597 I move well, don't I? 489 00:34:50,720 --> 00:34:52,119 Can't they see my carriage? 490 00:34:52,240 --> 00:34:55,232 You're too powerful, sweet white of egg. That is the unpalatable truth. 491 00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:59,558 I'm sorry to say, but that carriage, as you put it, supercharged as it is, 492 00:34:59,680 --> 00:35:01,591 terrifies them, my spasmic one. 493 00:35:01,720 --> 00:35:02,720 I hate them! 494 00:35:02,840 --> 00:35:03,840 Men! 495 00:35:03,960 --> 00:35:09,637 Blind, stupid, clumsy, horrible, vulgar, heavy things! 496 00:35:09,760 --> 00:35:12,638 And you are one of them! Argh! 497 00:35:12,760 --> 00:35:13,760 Irma, dear! 498 00:35:16,560 --> 00:35:19,279 Bodily functions are nothing to be ashamed of, dear wind. 499 00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:23,518 A party, Alfred, a party. I, Irma prunesquallor, this Irma, this very Irma. 500 00:35:23,640 --> 00:35:25,392 Oh, can we, Alfred, can we have one? 501 00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:27,750 A party, my dear? Are you the type to give a party? 502 00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:29,216 Indeed, are you the type to go to one? 503 00:35:29,240 --> 00:35:31,435 - Oh, but I see you are determined. - Unutterably. 504 00:35:31,560 --> 00:35:34,358 - May I have the knife? - You're going to be the host. 505 00:35:34,480 --> 00:35:36,789 Have I told you, I am thinking of getting married? 506 00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:38,360 - To one of those you hate? - Alfred! 507 00:35:38,400 --> 00:35:41,073 We'll find just the man for you, my avenging angel. 508 00:35:41,200 --> 00:35:43,520 Now, have you thought who to invite, what they are to wear? 509 00:35:43,640 --> 00:35:45,358 Oh, that's simple. Evening dress. 510 00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:47,914 Such things can be cruel, my fashionato. 511 00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:50,474 Few ladies have such resplendent gowns as you. 512 00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:53,273 Oh, who cares? There won't be any women. 513 00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:54,515 No ladies? 514 00:35:54,640 --> 00:35:57,598 I must be alone, Alfred, with them - the male. 515 00:35:57,720 --> 00:36:00,518 I see. And have you considered who they might be, these rams, 516 00:36:00,640 --> 00:36:02,870 these Tom cats, these bulls, oh, thicker than water? 517 00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:04,479 I have in mind a gathering of 40. 518 00:36:04,600 --> 00:36:07,672 - 40 men? - It is my last chance, Alfred! 519 00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:10,473 Listen to me, Irma dear. Listen to an affectionate brother. 520 00:36:10,600 --> 00:36:12,318 You see, in a smaller party 521 00:36:12,440 --> 00:36:15,796 you will find more time to size up the qualities of those present. 522 00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:17,319 - 307? - A dozen? 523 00:36:17,440 --> 00:36:18,560 20, Alfred, and don't argue! 524 00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:20,989 I'm merely trying to put myself in your place, Irma, dear. 525 00:36:21,120 --> 00:36:22,633 It takes an effort! 526 00:36:22,760 --> 00:36:24,113 I can't do it. 527 00:36:24,240 --> 00:36:26,800 Se ee a a a se aan 528 00:36:26,920 --> 00:36:28,148 ah...! 529 00:36:28,280 --> 00:36:30,191 The professors! 530 00:36:30,320 --> 00:36:33,517 It's so obvious! 531 00:36:33,640 --> 00:36:37,997 Why didn't I think of it before? And it shall be called... a soiree. 532 00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:40,953 Rams, soirees, professors? 533 00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:43,150 Are not these terms mutually exclusive? 534 00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:45,589 I shall issue invitations in blue and gold. 535 00:36:45,720 --> 00:36:48,234 We shall soiree in ten days, Alfred! 536 00:36:48,360 --> 00:36:50,874 - Oh, lord! - In ten days' time, 537 00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:53,833 a man of learning will be mine to keep! 538 00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:58,317 I shall understand him, administer to him and keep him clean! 539 00:36:58,440 --> 00:36:59,555 Irma! 540 00:36:59,680 --> 00:37:01,477 My dear... do you not think...? 541 00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:03,397 No, Alfred, I do not think! 542 00:37:03,520 --> 00:37:05,636 Thought is for mortals! 543 00:37:05,760 --> 00:37:08,911 I am a woman! 544 00:37:09,040 --> 00:37:14,239 An invitation? From miss prunesquallor? She has invited us! 545 00:37:15,720 --> 00:37:16,789 Shut up, fluke! 546 00:37:16,920 --> 00:37:19,559 This is a damned crisis! Nothing less. 547 00:37:19,680 --> 00:37:23,434 Crisis? Stupid bastard! How long is it since you've seen a woman? 548 00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:27,872 And how long is it since you have, or have not, professor mule? 549 00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:29,718 She wants a husband! 550 00:37:29,840 --> 00:37:33,230 Long-necked Irma wants a husband! 551 00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:39,439 No, no, no, gentlemen, please! Please. I will not have a lady's name... 552 00:37:39,560 --> 00:37:43,838 Oh, bloody bugger! It's him! She wants him! 553 00:37:43,960 --> 00:37:47,236 Oh, no! Oh, yes! Ha-ha! 554 00:37:47,360 --> 00:37:49,635 Gentlemen, please! Stop it at once! 555 00:37:49,760 --> 00:37:53,036 Nonsense! I... I... It's no way to talk of a lady... 556 00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:54,593 Or of a headmaster! 557 00:37:54,720 --> 00:37:58,315 Him! The very him! The very head! 558 00:37:59,680 --> 00:38:02,638 No. No, no, no, no! Stop! No, me? 559 00:38:02,760 --> 00:38:04,478 I think it is you, bellgrove. 560 00:38:04,600 --> 00:38:06,238 - No! No! - Face up to it, man. 561 00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:07,952 Oh, shush! Nonsense! 562 00:38:08,080 --> 00:38:10,640 She doesn't want me! No... does she? 563 00:38:18,800 --> 00:38:20,199 Perfect! 564 00:38:31,920 --> 00:38:36,198 Only three days to go, Alfred! 565 00:38:36,320 --> 00:38:40,199 Tempus fugit, my seismic one. Tempus fugit. 566 00:38:50,600 --> 00:38:52,556 Titus. Titus? 567 00:38:52,680 --> 00:38:53,829 Fuchsia? 568 00:38:55,720 --> 00:38:58,029 Here. I've brought you some sweets. 569 00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:04,797 - I miss you, Titus. - And I miss you. 570 00:39:04,920 --> 00:39:06,560 Dr pru's having some kind of horrid party! 571 00:39:06,680 --> 00:39:08,955 - A party? - All your professors are going. 572 00:39:09,080 --> 00:39:11,992 - Yuck! - I hate them! 573 00:39:12,120 --> 00:39:14,953 Mother, barquentine, I hate all of them! 574 00:39:15,080 --> 00:39:18,436 I hate them for locking you up and I hate them for ignoring me. 575 00:39:21,920 --> 00:39:24,718 Titus, I spat out of my window today! 576 00:39:24,840 --> 00:39:26,956 I spat on the stones! 577 00:39:27,080 --> 00:39:28,638 I hate them all that much! 578 00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:33,390 Titus, can you hear me? 579 00:39:33,520 --> 00:39:34,669 Yes. 580 00:39:36,960 --> 00:39:39,349 And I spit on the stones too! 581 00:39:40,680 --> 00:39:42,159 Can you feel my fingers? 582 00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:49,150 Titus, you're my brother and I love you. 583 00:39:49,280 --> 00:39:52,078 You're my sister, and I love you. 584 00:39:54,320 --> 00:39:56,788 Bye, Titus. Remember what we said. 585 00:39:56,920 --> 00:39:58,319 Fuchsia? 586 00:39:58,440 --> 00:40:01,273 Fuchsia! I hate them too! 587 00:40:01,400 --> 00:40:04,712 All of them! 588 00:40:04,840 --> 00:40:08,389 Well, tonight's the night. 589 00:40:08,520 --> 00:40:14,072 Wiili or won't I, Irma prunesquallor? 590 00:40:14,200 --> 00:40:16,191 Statement made in the staffroom. 591 00:40:16,320 --> 00:40:17,548 She is passionate about me. 592 00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:22,231 Consider. One, it's poppycock! 593 00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:25,113 Two, my damned staff are damned interferers. 594 00:40:25,240 --> 00:40:26,753 Call themselves teachers! 595 00:40:26,880 --> 00:40:28,996 They lie to add zest to the party. 596 00:40:29,120 --> 00:40:33,079 Three, I haven't questioned their lie, so they don't know that I've seen through it! 597 00:40:33,200 --> 00:40:36,272 Four... so far, so good. 598 00:40:36,400 --> 00:40:39,756 Five, how do I turn the tables against these spoilers 599 00:40:39,880 --> 00:40:43,589 of all that is young and wonderful and, let's face it, lamb-like? 600 00:40:43,720 --> 00:40:48,396 Six, what's wrong with Irma prunesquallor anyway? 601 00:40:48,520 --> 00:40:51,080 Noses must be some shape or other, 602 00:40:51,200 --> 00:40:55,113 or, as that damned idiot shred would say, they wouldn't exist at all! 603 00:40:55,240 --> 00:40:58,755 Seven, no bosoms to speak of. 604 00:40:58,880 --> 00:41:02,589 True, but then what are bosoms weighed against...? 605 00:41:02,720 --> 00:41:04,756 Mm... quite. 606 00:41:04,880 --> 00:41:06,313 Eight... 607 00:41:06,440 --> 00:41:08,476 I am lonely. 608 00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:13,071 Oh, bellgrove, such scouring, not to say moving, honesty! 609 00:41:13,200 --> 00:41:14,918 Nine... 610 00:41:16,040 --> 00:41:18,508 What a catch I am for any woman! 611 00:41:18,640 --> 00:41:20,471 Ten... 612 00:41:20,600 --> 00:41:22,875 Oh, god! Please, make her mine! 613 00:41:27,320 --> 00:41:28,469 Mollocks! 614 00:41:32,080 --> 00:41:34,514 - Mollocks! - Beside you, madam. 615 00:41:34,640 --> 00:41:37,473 Well, why don't you make a sound? Can't you see, I wear no spectacles? 616 00:41:37,600 --> 00:41:41,513 No, don't go, mollocks. Just dust, dust and dust again! 617 00:41:41,640 --> 00:41:45,269 I tell you what, sister, if you ain't a work of art, I don't know what is! 618 00:41:45,400 --> 00:41:47,550 Alfred, how do I seem to you? 619 00:41:47,680 --> 00:41:50,558 I'm over here, my dear. Turn round, turn round. 620 00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:51,874 - Oh. - Oh! 621 00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:54,275 Oh, to think the same blood batters our veins! 622 00:41:54,400 --> 00:41:56,256 What do you mean? I thought you were praising me. 623 00:41:56,280 --> 00:41:57,480 And so I was, but tell me now, 624 00:41:57,520 --> 00:42:00,318 what is it that's somehow different, my pneumatic one? 625 00:42:00,440 --> 00:42:01,793 Oh, you've gained a bosom! 626 00:42:01,920 --> 00:42:04,718 Alfred, you've always said that busts are what you make of them. 627 00:42:04,840 --> 00:42:06,239 - My dear? - Well, I've made one... 628 00:42:06,360 --> 00:42:09,432 From a hot-water bottle. A very expensive one. 629 00:42:09,560 --> 00:42:13,155 Don't you think it gives me pride of bearing? 630 00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:15,077 Just tell me. Tell me, exactly. 631 00:42:15,200 --> 00:42:17,077 Mollocks! 632 00:42:17,200 --> 00:42:18,553 Be a dear, go and talk to cook. 633 00:42:23,600 --> 00:42:25,875 Ahem... dear sister... 634 00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:27,956 No, Alfred, I won't listen! 635 00:42:28,080 --> 00:42:30,753 Wait, there's something else! Wait! 636 00:42:31,960 --> 00:42:35,111 Well, Alfred? 637 00:42:36,160 --> 00:42:37,673 What flair you have, Irma! 638 00:42:37,800 --> 00:42:39,711 Don't spare me. 639 00:42:39,840 --> 00:42:41,353 Oh! 640 00:42:41,480 --> 00:42:43,277 My only thought, my arabic one, 641 00:42:43,400 --> 00:42:44,992 is that having so precisely positioned 642 00:42:45,120 --> 00:42:47,680 such a pair of watery protuberances, as it were, 643 00:42:47,800 --> 00:42:50,176 is it not spitting in the face of the divine to conceal them? 644 00:42:50,200 --> 00:42:52,873 You're going to ruin it, Alfred! I knew you were! 645 00:42:53,000 --> 00:42:55,912 The vivacity of the visage, sweet nicotine, 646 00:42:56,040 --> 00:43:02,593 and the twin peaks of paradise are, shall we say, hidden beneath net, dearest. 647 00:43:02,720 --> 00:43:04,995 Paradise? Hidden? 648 00:43:05,120 --> 00:43:06,314 Never! 649 00:43:06,440 --> 00:43:09,910 Itis I Irma! 650 00:43:10,040 --> 00:43:12,031 Oh, let them come! 651 00:43:12,160 --> 00:43:15,072 My men from the mountains! 652 00:43:15,200 --> 00:43:18,112 Come along, gentlemen. Shoelaces, mule, shoelaces! 653 00:43:18,240 --> 00:43:21,437 Step lively, like lambs to the slaughter! 654 00:43:21,560 --> 00:43:23,391 Don't dawdle, mule. Come on! 655 00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:27,912 Stop bickering. The bickering isn't necessary. Come along. 656 00:43:30,160 --> 00:43:32,071 This way. Follow me. 657 00:43:33,920 --> 00:43:35,319 Gentlemen. 658 00:43:49,560 --> 00:43:50,879 Poor old nannie. 659 00:43:52,400 --> 00:43:55,756 You're the easiest, so you can go first. 660 00:43:59,200 --> 00:44:01,395 All in the cause of science, you understand. 661 00:44:12,560 --> 00:44:13,959 Goodnight, nannie. 662 00:44:15,280 --> 00:44:16,599 Sleep tight. 663 00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:23,310 Professor mule! 664 00:44:23,440 --> 00:44:25,749 - Professor mule. - Chop chop! 665 00:44:28,200 --> 00:44:29,997 Professor mule. 666 00:44:30,120 --> 00:44:32,190 Evening! 667 00:44:33,720 --> 00:44:35,676 Bastard! 668 00:44:38,080 --> 00:44:39,911 Bugger! 669 00:44:41,680 --> 00:44:43,910 Pardon us. Hm! 670 00:44:44,040 --> 00:44:46,759 Yes, professor, female of the species. 671 00:44:46,880 --> 00:44:47,915 Hmm! 672 00:44:48,040 --> 00:44:51,430 Strange... but true! 673 00:44:51,560 --> 00:44:54,074 Care for a canapé? 674 00:44:54,200 --> 00:44:55,394 Now... 675 00:44:57,560 --> 00:44:59,278 The last of them! 676 00:44:59,400 --> 00:45:00,992 Just a minute! 677 00:45:01,120 --> 00:45:03,031 Professor bellgrove. 678 00:45:03,160 --> 00:45:04,673 Headmaster! 679 00:45:09,280 --> 00:45:11,669 - Arse! - Eve! 680 00:45:11,800 --> 00:45:13,995 - Head. - Madam. 681 00:45:14,120 --> 00:45:15,189 Master. 682 00:45:20,680 --> 00:45:23,114 Bugger! 683 00:45:23,240 --> 00:45:26,312 Ah! Bugger! 684 00:45:26,440 --> 00:45:28,590 No way to behave in front of a woman! 685 00:45:28,720 --> 00:45:33,111 Oh, bloody bugger bastard! 686 00:45:33,240 --> 00:45:37,392 Quick, gentlemen! Pass that armchair! Help me get him into it. 687 00:45:37,520 --> 00:45:39,954 One, two, heave! 688 00:45:43,040 --> 00:45:45,508 One more effort, gentlemen! 689 00:45:45,640 --> 00:45:47,596 Right, stand back, give him air. 690 00:45:47,720 --> 00:45:51,918 Forgive him, madam. He is extended before you as a sign of weakness. 691 00:45:52,040 --> 00:45:55,874 We are all mere men. Is this not how we all feel? 692 00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:57,000 Oh! 693 00:45:57,040 --> 00:45:58,080 Perch, fluke, throttlebum, 694 00:45:58,120 --> 00:46:00,336 convey the professor to his quarters, where he may recover. 695 00:46:00,360 --> 00:46:03,830 Oh! No, headmaster! I-I understand utterly. 696 00:46:03,960 --> 00:46:06,952 He has honoured me! Alfred! Do something. 697 00:46:07,080 --> 00:46:10,516 - What? - He shall not be removed from this room. 698 00:46:10,640 --> 00:46:12,870 It's a full-blown spasm, dearest! 699 00:46:13,000 --> 00:46:14,831 Spasm or no spasm, he shall remain! 700 00:46:14,960 --> 00:46:18,748 Mollocks! Fetch my silver hammer. 701 00:46:18,880 --> 00:46:22,190 Oh, and scissors. We'll need to snip his clothes off. 702 00:46:22,320 --> 00:46:24,117 Oh! This is no place for you. 703 00:46:24,240 --> 00:46:27,437 Headmaster, it is for you to speak and me to listen. 704 00:46:27,560 --> 00:46:30,552 Take my arm, such as it is. 705 00:46:30,680 --> 00:46:33,558 I shall accompany you, professor. 706 00:46:33,680 --> 00:46:36,592 Excellent! Er... where? 707 00:46:36,720 --> 00:46:38,551 The garden? 708 00:46:38,680 --> 00:46:42,036 The garden! It shall be our first promenade together. 709 00:46:42,160 --> 00:46:44,720 But I hardly know you, headmaster! 710 00:46:44,840 --> 00:46:47,718 Ar! Let's see. 711 00:46:49,920 --> 00:46:54,914 Hm. Er, lilac! C-c-can you not smell the lilac, my dear madam? 712 00:46:55,040 --> 00:46:56,155 I have a cold. 713 00:46:56,280 --> 00:46:59,352 Ah, yes, women are such sensitive creatures. 714 00:46:59,480 --> 00:47:01,755 And require light, headmaster. 715 00:47:01,880 --> 00:47:03,438 A light? Certainly. 716 00:47:03,560 --> 00:47:06,028 I'm afraid you... you cannot see me. 717 00:47:06,160 --> 00:47:07,957 I would have you sit on my right. 718 00:47:08,080 --> 00:47:13,154 Ah. Well, um, what you would have, you shall be given! 719 00:47:13,280 --> 00:47:15,635 - Shall we rise together? - Hm. 720 00:47:15,760 --> 00:47:17,671 Oh, blast! 721 00:47:17,800 --> 00:47:20,553 How could you use such a word in front of a lady? 722 00:47:20,680 --> 00:47:22,193 Silence! Am I not your headmaster?! 723 00:47:22,320 --> 00:47:26,359 Oh, oh! Um, do forgive me! I... I... Ahem! 724 00:47:35,240 --> 00:47:38,277 - Right, turn him over. - Qver. 725 00:47:38,400 --> 00:47:40,277 I am so happy! 726 00:47:41,800 --> 00:47:43,916 I knew it! 727 00:47:44,040 --> 00:47:45,553 So did I. 728 00:47:49,680 --> 00:47:53,912 My dear, you are cold. It's this damnable arbour! 729 00:47:54,040 --> 00:48:00,513 I will not have you use strong language in our sacred place. 730 00:48:00,640 --> 00:48:04,315 Well, you... you must forgive an old fool, 731 00:48:04,440 --> 00:48:08,115 but I was just trying to damn this dark, 732 00:48:08,240 --> 00:48:14,634 which prevents me from seeing the proud beauty of your face. 733 00:48:17,040 --> 00:48:18,473 Ah! 734 00:48:18,600 --> 00:48:20,272 There? 735 00:48:23,160 --> 00:48:25,196 Oh, head! 736 00:48:25,320 --> 00:48:26,469 Oh, Irma! 737 00:48:26,600 --> 00:48:28,636 Ha! 738 00:48:32,280 --> 00:48:33,429 My man! 739 00:48:40,320 --> 00:48:41,389 Shh! 740 00:48:41,520 --> 00:48:43,351 No! 741 00:48:46,320 --> 00:48:48,038 Oh, oh! 742 00:48:48,160 --> 00:48:50,276 Oh! Ohh! 743 00:48:50,400 --> 00:48:51,992 Oh, oh, oh! 744 00:48:53,440 --> 00:48:56,034 Nannie! Nannie! 745 00:48:58,240 --> 00:49:02,916 Oh, my weak heart. Oh! Oh, oh, oh... 746 00:49:03,040 --> 00:49:04,519 Nannie! Nannie! 747 00:49:04,640 --> 00:49:06,631 Help! Someone, help! 748 00:49:06,760 --> 00:49:08,876 Nannie, what's wrong? 749 00:49:09,000 --> 00:49:10,797 - Let me see! - No! Not you! 750 00:49:10,920 --> 00:49:13,673 - You get the doctor! - Yes, ladyship! At once! 751 00:49:13,800 --> 00:49:16,109 Nannie? Nannie? 752 00:49:18,240 --> 00:49:21,630 Something... wrong. 753 00:49:21,760 --> 00:49:23,159 All... 754 00:49:25,080 --> 00:49:26,559 Wrong. 755 00:49:30,160 --> 00:49:31,673 Nannie! 756 00:49:41,800 --> 00:49:44,951 See it as a gift from the kitchen boy, nannie. 757 00:49:51,960 --> 00:49:55,270 Have her buried in the graveyard for select retainers, squallor. 758 00:50:02,640 --> 00:50:05,837 I don't feel anything, mother. Am I wicked? 759 00:50:05,960 --> 00:50:08,315 She was a good servant. You'll miss her. 760 00:50:09,640 --> 00:50:12,757 - See to it, squallor. - Ladyship. 761 00:50:15,280 --> 00:50:18,317 You are not wicked, my dear. 762 00:50:24,680 --> 00:50:28,798 When are they going to let Titus out of the fort? It's not fair. 763 00:50:28,920 --> 00:50:30,512 He's just a little boy! 764 00:50:30,640 --> 00:50:34,155 He'll be out like a Jack-in-the-box, in no time at all. 765 00:50:34,280 --> 00:50:36,396 He must! 766 00:50:36,520 --> 00:50:38,988 And I want to see my daddy! 767 00:50:40,880 --> 00:50:42,916 Shh! My dear. 768 00:50:45,720 --> 00:50:47,711 Where did he go, dr pru? 769 00:50:47,840 --> 00:50:51,435 He was a very sick man. Who knows what happened to him? 770 00:50:52,760 --> 00:50:54,318 Mr flay is still alive! 771 00:50:54,440 --> 00:50:55,873 Mr flay? 772 00:50:56,000 --> 00:50:58,389 Titus has seen him! 773 00:50:58,520 --> 00:51:03,275 And he also saw something else - a wild thing! A wild girl! 774 00:51:03,400 --> 00:51:06,870 And now he says he's in love with her! 775 00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:09,878 And now nannie! 776 00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:11,877 I'm sorry, nannie! 777 00:51:14,680 --> 00:51:16,557 I can't stand it! 778 00:51:20,920 --> 00:51:22,035 Ladyship. 779 00:51:33,520 --> 00:51:36,398 Now, learn, lordship. 780 00:51:36,520 --> 00:51:39,034 Learn the code. Learn the canon. 781 00:51:39,160 --> 00:51:41,071 Learn who you are. 782 00:51:41,200 --> 00:51:44,112 Learn gormenghast! 783 00:51:48,080 --> 00:51:50,275 It's my family, mr secretary. 784 00:51:50,400 --> 00:51:53,312 And I'll learn what I'll learn in my own time. 785 00:52:41,320 --> 00:52:42,753 Starve, then. 786 00:52:57,040 --> 00:52:58,917 It's him. I hate him. Don't you? 787 00:53:08,280 --> 00:53:09,759 This way. 788 00:53:20,920 --> 00:53:24,037 - Titus, I'm frightened. - I know what I'm doing. 789 00:53:24,160 --> 00:53:26,594 I want to show you something. This way. 790 00:53:43,960 --> 00:53:47,430 It's her! The wild girl! 791 00:53:48,480 --> 00:53:50,835 She was there! I saw her! 792 00:53:50,960 --> 00:53:53,640 She must be able to get in and out of the castle whenever she wants! 793 00:53:53,760 --> 00:53:56,877 I didn't come all this way just to see her! Come down! 794 00:53:57,000 --> 00:54:02,028 You said we were going to go and see mr flay to find out what happened to father! 795 00:54:02,160 --> 00:54:05,630 Fuchsia: This stupid wild girl! Why are you so interested in her? 796 00:54:05,760 --> 00:54:09,275 You can't be like her in any way. And if mother knew, what would s/he say? 797 00:54:09,400 --> 00:54:12,790 Titus: I don't care what s/he says! She never talks to me, anyway! 798 00:54:12,920 --> 00:54:14,751 She's got her stupid birds, hasn't she? 799 00:54:14,880 --> 00:54:18,475 Well, now I've got something better. And that's what they don't like. 800 00:54:18,600 --> 00:54:20,556 They think they know everything! 801 00:54:20,680 --> 00:54:22,910 Well, now I know something that they don't! 802 00:54:23,040 --> 00:54:26,237 And I'll tell you something else, fuchsia. I want to be just like her! 803 00:54:26,360 --> 00:54:27,634 Oh! 804 00:54:27,760 --> 00:54:30,911 Gone again! He is in your charge! 805 00:54:31,040 --> 00:54:32,678 I'm not his keeper, ladyship. 806 00:54:32,800 --> 00:54:35,678 Barquentine, find the boy. And his sister. 807 00:54:35,800 --> 00:54:37,950 Though you needn't waste too much time on that. 808 00:54:38,080 --> 00:54:39,798 Go away! 809 00:54:39,920 --> 00:54:43,435 I'll have you pinned to the rock with your eyes out, barquentine, believe me. 810 00:54:43,560 --> 00:54:48,236 Lordships come and lordships go, ladyship. 811 00:54:48,360 --> 00:54:51,830 Gormenghast stays put! 812 00:54:53,640 --> 00:54:57,315 This wild thing? You think that's what this is all about? 813 00:54:57,440 --> 00:54:59,590 It would appear to be, madam. 814 00:54:59,720 --> 00:55:01,560 It's the brat from his foster mother, isn't it? 815 00:55:01,640 --> 00:55:05,918 I would hypothesise that, quite possibly, given the history... 816 00:55:06,040 --> 00:55:08,759 Why can you not use one word when one will do, squallor? 817 00:55:08,880 --> 00:55:09,995 Yes. 818 00:55:10,120 --> 00:55:12,634 This thing's stealing from the carvers? Am I right? 819 00:55:12,760 --> 00:55:15,680 They say she steals only the best, only the most beautiful, your ladyship. 820 00:55:15,760 --> 00:55:17,796 What's that got to do with it? 821 00:55:17,920 --> 00:55:19,911 - The carvers loathe her. - Yes. 822 00:55:20,040 --> 00:55:22,349 And he ls the male heir, squallor. 823 00:55:22,480 --> 00:55:23,674 Yes. 824 00:55:23,800 --> 00:55:26,314 That infested rag barquentine is right. 825 00:55:26,440 --> 00:55:28,635 Gormenghast is all. 826 00:55:28,760 --> 00:55:29,829 The... 827 00:55:31,160 --> 00:55:35,517 I don't know what's worse, you clammed up, or you in full flow! 828 00:55:35,640 --> 00:55:37,756 Go away. I prefer my birds. 829 00:55:37,880 --> 00:55:39,677 Madam. 830 00:55:42,000 --> 00:55:44,468 The owls? They killed my father? 831 00:55:44,600 --> 00:55:47,319 - In the tower of flints? - What he wanted, ladyship. 832 00:55:47,440 --> 00:55:50,512 Cook-slug swelter, he went too. Same time. 833 00:55:51,760 --> 00:55:53,398 Earl, noble man. 834 00:55:53,520 --> 00:55:55,511 Why didn't anybody tell me? 835 00:55:55,640 --> 00:55:58,234 Only I knew, ladyship. Lordship now. 836 00:55:58,360 --> 00:56:01,079 - Look to duty. - Come back with us, mr flay. 837 00:56:01,200 --> 00:56:02,758 Can't. 838 00:56:02,880 --> 00:56:04,313 I could show you the tunnel. 839 00:56:04,440 --> 00:56:06,776 You could live in the east wing. No-one would find you there. 840 00:56:06,800 --> 00:56:09,872 Banished. That's it. 841 00:56:10,000 --> 00:56:12,389 - Look out for steerpike. - Why? 842 00:56:12,520 --> 00:56:15,193 Why always steerpike? It's not fair! 843 00:56:15,320 --> 00:56:20,348 People don't like him just because he's more brilliant than them, that's all! 844 00:56:20,480 --> 00:56:22,516 At least he talks to me! 845 00:56:22,640 --> 00:56:26,189 And at least he's better than this wild thing! 846 00:56:27,720 --> 00:56:29,915 Please, come back with us, mr flay. 847 00:56:30,040 --> 00:56:33,874 Be ready, lordship. Know tunnel. Will watch. 848 00:56:34,000 --> 00:56:35,752 Come when you need me. 849 00:56:35,880 --> 00:56:37,916 Fuchsia! Fuchsia! 850 00:56:42,680 --> 00:56:46,832 Now you'll learn! Because you'll stay there till you do! 851 00:56:53,640 --> 00:56:55,198 I'm so sorry, nannie. 852 00:56:55,320 --> 00:56:57,231 I don't know what to do. 853 00:57:01,600 --> 00:57:03,511 No-one loves me! 854 00:57:06,280 --> 00:57:08,350 What shall I do? 855 00:57:09,720 --> 00:57:11,676 I can't dream forever. 856 00:57:24,160 --> 00:57:25,354 Lady fuchsia? 857 00:57:26,960 --> 00:57:28,916 I had no idea you'd be here. 858 00:57:31,000 --> 00:57:33,195 I didn't know her well, but I thought... 859 00:57:35,240 --> 00:57:38,312 I'm sure your flowers will please her most. 860 00:57:38,440 --> 00:57:39,998 It's all stupid anyway! 861 00:57:42,160 --> 00:57:44,390 I didn't think you were so sentimental! 862 00:57:45,760 --> 00:57:47,079 I have my moods too. 863 00:57:48,160 --> 00:57:49,513 How dare you? 864 00:57:52,440 --> 00:57:55,557 You please yourself. Why can't I? 865 00:57:55,680 --> 00:57:58,114 You! You! You...! 866 00:58:01,680 --> 00:58:05,036 - I understand. - No, you don't! 867 00:58:05,160 --> 00:58:08,675 If I understand anything, I understand anger! 868 00:58:08,800 --> 00:58:11,678 And that's because I understand what it feels like to be rejected. 869 00:58:12,760 --> 00:58:14,876 And don't think I don't understand loneliness too. 870 00:58:15,000 --> 00:58:17,150 I'm sorry! 871 00:58:28,120 --> 00:58:31,192 No, no! This is horrible! 872 00:58:31,320 --> 00:58:32,958 You're horrible! 873 00:58:35,440 --> 00:58:38,637 You leave me alone! Never come near me! 874 00:58:48,240 --> 00:58:49,673 I can wait. 875 00:58:53,560 --> 00:58:55,471 Stones. 876 00:58:55,600 --> 00:58:56,953 Stones... 877 00:58:58,040 --> 00:58:59,553 Stone. 878 00:58:59,680 --> 00:59:01,033 Rock. 879 00:59:02,720 --> 00:59:07,111 I hate... it... all!