# OASIS: Half A World Away
# I would like to leave this city
# This old town don't smell too pretty and
# I can feel the warning signs running around my mind
# So, what do you say?
# You can't give me the dreams that are mine anyway
# Half the world away #
'They say the family of the 21st century
is made up of friends, not relatives.'
'Then again... maybe that's just bollocks.'
The living room.
It's really nice!
Yeah, it's a great flat.
What's going on?
Are you the tenants?
BOTH: Yes.
I hope you don't mind.
What do you mean, mind?
Yeah, I'm sorry, excuse me for a second.
This is the guest bedroom - bit of a state at the moment.
You can use it for storage, utilities or, er,
if the pair of you wanna bring a little... life into this world.
It's perfect for a child.
Yes, it's very...
Homey.
Yes! It's very homey.
What's in here?
BOTH: Would you mind telling us what's going on?
Mrs Klein is selling the house.
It's a very good time - house prices are up.
This property has trebled in value since its last purchase.
Really? Wow!
I've got to get back to the office.
This place is attracting a lot of attention.
I'm sure Mrs Klein will fill you in.
You think?
Well, goodbye.
Excuse me. How old are you?
I'm 25 and my wife's 24.
Really?
Yes.
Bloody hell!
D'you mind?
(What're we gonna do?)
(They were younger than us.)
What?!
They were younger than us.
Only physically.
Daisy, this is serious. The house has trebled in value.
That's enough incentive for Marsha to move.
Trebled? Really?
Wow!
We should lean on Brian.
I like your thinking.
Thanks very much.
Where are we?
The cupboard.
Why?
I've no idea.
LAUGHTER
Maybe they got the wrong house. They could have.
Sh! Brian!
Brian, are you all right?
TAPE: HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER
I'm having difficulty vocalising my emotion so I'm using this.
This is the good bit.
TAPE: AGONISED SCREAMS
She's gone to Manchester.
Marsha?!
No, Twist.
Oh, thank Christ.
Twist's gone to Manchester?!
Said she needed time to think. She likes the gay scene up there.
When?
Last night. Didn't she call?
Is that Conrad?
No, it's Daisy.
Sorry, I didn't mean to call you. I'm in Manchester. Loads to tell!
Speak soon, bye! Ooh! I love this one! Come on, boys!
Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, she did, yeah.
I thought you were upset about the house.
Why would I be upset about the house?
This house is the one thing I can rely on, the one port in a storm,
the one... thing which isn't susceptible to the whims of love.
It's the solid core of my otherwise painful...
TAPE CLICKS OFF
TAPE: SCREAMING
tortured existence.
I don't know what I'd do without this old friend,
this rock, this island of calm in the ocean of life.
What did you want to talk about, anyway?
Wonder why she went.
We've got to get her back.
Twist?
No, Marsha.
We've got to find her and say "We're sorry, I know we've hurt you,
but, please, for the sake of us, for the sake of Brian,
please don't sell the house!"
Not in such a whiny voice.
OK.
Hello.
Hello, Mike.
How's Sophie?
Very well, thank you very much.
Good. Good.
Have you heard about the house?
Yeah, trebled in value.
Half a million, apparently.
What you doing?
Baking.
Scone?
No thanks. Has Marsha contacted you?
Actually, I will.
Cream and jam inside.
Look... What, clotted cream? I will then. Have you heard from Marsha?
A big guy on a motorbike came for her stuff.
Maybe she's joined the Hell's Angels.
No, she was thrown out in '82 - lewd behaviour.
Well, then where would she go?
Who would she turn to in her time of need that is, or might associate with, a big guy on a motorbike?
ALL: Amber!
# DEATH METAL
Mum! Where've you been?
Shoppin'. We gotta drink, ain't we?
I wanted to go out!
God! Moan, moan, moan. That's all I ever hear.
I'm tellin' you, Mum!
Leave me alone!
I'm having no part in this.
We need to know where Amber lives.
This is all wrong!
It's the only way.
Stop it!
Do you wanna be homeless?! Do you wanna buy Loot every morning?!
Do you wanna see what Marsha's room looks like?
CRASH
ALL: Oooh!
Oh, wow, look at this!
(IMPERSONATES MARSHA) Bloody hell!
Is this what we're looking for?
42 Welland Terrace. Brilliant!
Phone number?
No. Can we take the van?
Yeah, I'll go and start her.
Daisy, let's rock.
Daisy!
Look!
We don't have time for this!
There's Colin.
# LITTLEST HOBO THEME
Colin!
COLIN!
Oh, my God! You go ahead, I'll get Colin. He's gone next door.
Sod Colin!
I'm not going to sod Colin!
Get your priorities straight!
But he could get lost or run over.
He can look after himself! When did you start giving a shit anyway?!
Fine.
Daisy...
Excuse me.
Well, that's just great, isn't it?
We're meant to be a united front. Doesn't look good if it's just us.
Doesn't have to be just you and me, Tim.
You got a tape player?
No.
Thank fuck.
Hello?
Colin?
# LITA ROSA: How Much Is That Doggie In The Window?
# The one with the waggly tail?
# How much is that doggie in the window?
# I do hope that dog...
RECORD JUMPS
Let me do the talking. I am the only one capable of communication.
Sorry! I'm not suggesting you're bad communicators, all right? Mike?
Brian?
(MUMBLES)
But it's partly my fault we're in this mess.
What are you going to say?
The family of the 21st century is made up of friends and not relatives
and you're the best auntie I've ever had.
Oh!
Ah!
# VIOLINS
Tim?
Arrgh!
You all right?
Yeah, I'm fine! Light's green.
It's his favourite.
Why are you cooking it?
Cos it got rather dirty.
You must be from number 23.
I'll just be, er,... taking my dog home now.
You could stay for a cup of tea.
Oh, no, thanks. We've got stuff to do.
He's welcome here any time.
If you're going out, just pop him round and I'll take care of him.
Yeah.
(Thanks.)
Bye! Don't be a stranger.
I'm sure you'll see him again.
I know I will.
Got your favourite.
Why, Colin? Have I done something wrong?
PANTING
Bye, Tim!
I treat you right. I... I don't neglect you, do I?
Not now, Colin. Just piss off!
Oh, God!
I can change!
I know things have been wrong between us but...
What's she got that I haven't?
Here you go, love - your favourite.
Widescreen!
This is it.
There she is! Marsha!
How did you find me?
Intuition.
And we broke into your bedroom.
And that.
Look! You're wasting your time. I've made my mind up.
Please, don't sell the house.
It's trebled in value.
Really?!
Brian!
I'd rather we just called it a day.
What can we do to make you see we want you back?
Something bloody spectacular.
I'm sorry, OK?
We did it cos we love living there and you're a big part of that.
Kiss... my... arse.
Aren't you gonna ask me how it went?
How'd it go?
(Really badly.)
Colin's gone.
What?
He went next door.
Oh, Daisy, I'm sorry. How did that happen?
Well, he walked.
Right. Right, sorry.
My mum used "going next door" as a euphemism for being dead.
Whoa! You're saying my rabbit's dead?
It's been 18 years. Where did you think he was?
(TEARFUL) Next door!
So that's it then.
Marsha's gone, Twist's gone,
< My rabbit's gone.
Mike's rabbit's gone.
Everyone leaves.
DOORBELL
Don't be silly. Not everybody leaves.
Tim, I've been offered a job in Seattle, working for Marvel.
You know I said "Not everybody leaves"? Well, they do.
So when are you off?
Tomorrow.
That's short notice, isn't it?
I got the call last night. They want me to go over straightaway.
I'm sorry, Tim.
We didn't get chance to see how things worked out.
But we can still have sex on the Internet.
That's all I was doing before. What time you off tomorrow?
12. Will you come with me to the airport?
Yeah, 'course. Marvel, eh?
That's really good. >
So what you planning on doing for the next 13 hours?
Well, I'm bushed. I'll see you in the morning.
What we gonna do?
Well, short of something bloody spectacular, I've no idea.
I'm off.
(Yeah.)
(Me too.)
BLEEPING AND WHIRRING
DING
Hello, boys.
Hello, Sarge.
I wonder if you privates wouldn't mind doing me a little favour.
Yeah, can you tell me the times of the trains to Colwyn Bay, please?
The first one.
Well, the third one.
Thanks. (SIGHS)
KNOCKING
What's that?
There's someone at the door.
Oh, Tim.
Right, yeah.
That could have been a little bit embarrassing.
Get dressed.
We're going to see Marsha.
All right.
SCREAMING
Ready?
Can we go later?
Frightened.
Come on, Brian. Are you a man or a mouse?
Eek!
# THEME FROM THUNDERBIRDS
I'm a man!
Yeah, come on, let's roll!
Ready.
I'll get Mike to drop me at yours and I'll see you there at 11.30.
OK. Good luck, Bisley.
With what?
Whatever it is you've gotta do.
Oh, right, yeah.
It's on.
What is?
Oh, Momma!
You sure about this, Mike?
Don't worry, Tim.
Is this above board, Sergeant?
Are you questioning my honour?
No, Sergeant.
I'll recommend you for promotion.
I don't see how this concerns the military!
Are we not soldiers, Dexter?
Yes, Sergeant.
Do we not have a duty to keep the peace?
Could you neglect to intervene in a conflict?
Then get your boom box and let's rock!
# THEME FROM THIS MORNING
RUMBLING
What you gonna do, blow me up?
# Whatever I said, whatever I did, I didn't mean it
# I just want you back for good
# Want you back, want you back
# Want you back for good
# Whenever I'm wrong, just tell me the song and I'll sing it
# You'll be right and understood
# I want you back for good #
We're going to have such fun, you and me.
It's going to be lovely.
We won't need that any more.
From now on, we're going to call you Lancelot.
Look who came back. Beer, Brian?
No thanks. Got an installation.
Good work today, soldier.
Thanks. Sir.
Hey! What's that?
"Tim."
"Dear Tim, please forgive the letter but I'm feeling a bit confused."
"Everything has changed recently. "
"We all seem to be drifting apart, like leaves from an oak... "
Skip to the end.
"By the time you read this, I'll be gone."
"I've decided to go away for a while. Maybe it will do me good."
"Who knows, if things work out, maybe I'll stay."
"Please give my love to everyone. I know you understand. Your friend, Daisy."
Shit!
What's the matter?
Daisy's gone.
Where?
She didn't say.
(BARKS) >
Oh, thanks. 11.32, St Pancras. I've got to stop her.
What about Sophie?
Shall I do another banner?
No, that won't help. Do your installation.
# JOHN DENVER: Leaving On A Jet Plane
Oh! She's not answering.
Mobile telephone.
# Don't know when I'll be back again... #
She's still not answering. Shit!
OK, in the next 30 minutes, I have to stop Daisy and get Sophie to the airport.
Go on.
We have one means of transport and no money. There's no way we can do both.
Mike?
There is a way! We do have another means of transport.
Not my skateboard.
No, no, no.
What do we have, other than my van,
which has wheels and is slightly quicker than walking?
You've gotta be fucking kidding.
# GUITAR MUSIC
All right?
(WHISTLES)
INTELFAX SUBTITLES HELEN CLARKE