1
00:00:02,043 --> 00:00:07,043
This programme
contains strong language.

2
00:00:09,923 --> 00:00:11,923
TYRES SCREECH

3
00:00:17,363 --> 00:00:19,483
Oh, what?!

4
00:00:20,483 --> 00:00:23,923
You know what!

5
00:00:21,883 --> 00:00:23,923
I do not know what!

6
00:00:23,923 --> 00:00:25,963
Take a wild guess.

7
00:00:26,123 --> 00:00:30,123
Is it cos I sang the music
from the Kiaora advert?

8
00:00:30,123 --> 00:00:33,163
"It's too orangey for crows..."

9
00:00:33,363 --> 00:00:35,363
You think this is funny?

10
00:00:35,563 --> 00:00:37,243
No.

11
00:00:37,443 --> 00:00:40,803
Cos in three minutes you will not...

12
00:00:41,003 --> 00:00:43,163
be laughing.

13
00:00:43,163 --> 00:00:47,963
If you think I'm going to stand by
and let you beat up my friend,

14
00:00:47,963 --> 00:00:50,363
you've got another thing coming.

15
00:00:50,563 --> 00:00:54,003
Oh... We're going beat you up too.

16
00:00:54,363 --> 00:00:56,443
(OK.)

17
00:00:57,843 --> 00:01:00,163
What do you think we should do?

18
00:01:14,203 --> 00:01:16,243
Let 'em have it.

19
00:01:25,043 --> 00:01:30,763
(IMPERSONATES JAMIE OLIVER) Potato -
people peel it, people cube it.

20
00:01:30,763 --> 00:01:35,003
I jutht put it down - bang -
two halfth, in the pan.

21
00:01:35,003 --> 00:01:37,803
It'th a bit thimple, a bit thexy.

22
00:01:37,803 --> 00:01:39,923
Mike, how sexy am I?

23
00:01:39,923 --> 00:01:42,003
Oh, very.

24
00:01:42,003 --> 00:01:45,563
Daisy?

25
00:01:42,643 --> 00:01:45,563
Have it in a thauthage thandwich...

26
00:01:45,563 --> 00:01:47,523
Daisy.

27
00:01:47,523 --> 00:01:49,403
How sexy am I?

28
00:01:49,403 --> 00:01:51,283
Very.

29
00:01:51,283 --> 00:01:54,003
You look good. You look really...

30
00:01:54,003 --> 00:02:00,923
You look nice...
cos you don't want to look like
you've made too much of an effort.

31
00:02:00,923 --> 00:02:03,523
I'll change my shirt.

32
00:02:06,443 --> 00:02:11,083
This will be one of the great
chicken stews - you know why?

33
00:02:12,123 --> 00:02:16,843
Because of this - (ITALIAN)
or-eg-ano - or oregano to you.

34
00:02:17,603 --> 00:02:22,683
'I got it from a wise old herb
merchant on one of my many travels.'

35
00:02:26,723 --> 00:02:29,883
This... is the good shit.

36
00:02:31,083 --> 00:02:33,083
Whoo, Momma!

37
00:02:33,683 --> 00:02:35,483
PHONE

38
00:02:40,843 --> 00:02:43,403
Hello.

39
00:02:41,403 --> 00:02:43,403
Is that Daisy?

40
00:02:43,603 --> 00:02:47,843
Yep.

41
00:02:44,283 --> 00:02:47,843
"Hi, it's Sophie."

42
00:02:45,523 --> 00:02:47,843
Oh, hi.

43
00:02:48,043 --> 00:02:52,283
Tim's told me all about you.

44
00:02:49,843 --> 00:02:52,283
Has he? What did he say?

45
00:02:52,483 --> 00:02:54,643
You know, the usual.

46
00:02:54,643 --> 00:02:57,483
What sort of thing? Specifically.

47
00:02:58,723 --> 00:03:00,723
Well, that...

48
00:03:01,163 --> 00:03:04,323
you're friends, you share a flat,...

49
00:03:04,523 --> 00:03:06,803
and your name's Daisy.

50
00:03:06,803 --> 00:03:08,643
Oh, right.

51
00:03:08,843 --> 00:03:13,883
Is Tim there?

52
00:03:10,723 --> 00:03:13,883
Oh, yes, yeah. Just getting dressed.

53
00:03:13,883 --> 00:03:15,723
It's Sophie.

54
00:03:15,723 --> 00:03:17,803
(Oh, cheers!)

55
00:03:19,123 --> 00:03:25,203
(VOICE BREAKS) Hello.

56
00:03:20,483 --> 00:03:25,203
Hey, how are you?

57
00:03:22,083 --> 00:03:25,203
Good. I had a nice time last night.

58
00:03:25,203 --> 00:03:27,483
"Me too. What are you up to?"

59
00:03:27,483 --> 00:03:30,803
You know, making myself beautiful.

60
00:03:31,803 --> 00:03:36,563
I can't come out tonight,
Jamie's got me working late.

61
00:03:36,563 --> 00:03:40,363
Oh, really.

62
00:03:37,243 --> 00:03:40,363
There's a misprint on a new issue.

63
00:03:40,363 --> 00:03:43,163
Which one?

64
00:03:41,043 --> 00:03:43,163
Total Cult.

65
00:03:43,403 --> 00:03:45,243
Well, OK. Fine.

66
00:03:45,243 --> 00:03:49,203
We can do it another night.
We can do it next week.

67
00:03:49,203 --> 00:03:51,203
How do you mean "do it"?

68
00:03:51,203 --> 00:03:53,403
You'll find out next week.

69
00:03:53,403 --> 00:03:57,883
OK.

70
00:03:54,163 --> 00:03:57,883
Bye, Bisley.

71
00:03:55,883 --> 00:03:57,883
Bye.

72
00:04:00,083 --> 00:04:02,323
SHE'S SLEEPING WITH HER BOSS!

73
00:04:02,323 --> 00:04:06,603
You what?

74
00:04:03,163 --> 00:04:06,603
This is how it starts. Excuses.

75
00:04:06,603 --> 00:04:10,563
"Oh, I've gotta work late."
"I've got a presentation."

76
00:04:10,763 --> 00:04:16,003
"Sorry, I can't come round tonight,
I've had ever such a long day."

77
00:04:16,003 --> 00:04:20,323
It's me and Sarah,
it's Milly and Egg, it's textbook.

78
00:04:20,843 --> 00:04:23,083
Ow! What did you do that for?

79
00:04:23,083 --> 00:04:29,003
You said if you ever suffer paranoia
because of your break-up with Sarah

80
00:04:29,203 --> 00:04:32,083
I was to slap you round the face.

81
00:04:32,083 --> 00:04:34,603
I did say that, thank you very much.

82
00:04:35,083 --> 00:04:37,163
(SIGHS)

83
00:04:37,163 --> 00:04:39,083
BLEEP

84
00:04:39,083 --> 00:04:41,083
TV: "Resident Evil."

85
00:04:41,843 --> 00:04:43,643
We could go out.

86
00:04:43,643 --> 00:04:47,283
What? You and me?

87
00:04:44,963 --> 00:04:47,283
Yeah.

88
00:04:47,283 --> 00:04:51,803
What about your stew?

89
00:04:48,603 --> 00:04:51,803
It's finished, just gotta simmer.

90
00:04:51,803 --> 00:04:57,843
I dunno, Daisy.

91
00:04:53,203 --> 00:04:57,843
Come on, it'll be fun.
What else are you gonna do?

92
00:05:03,643 --> 00:05:07,323
OK then.

93
00:05:05,283 --> 00:05:07,323
Great.

94
00:05:08,563 --> 00:05:13,403
KNOCK ON DOOR

95
00:05:10,203 --> 00:05:13,403
Who is it?

96
00:05:11,243 --> 00:05:13,403
Brian.

97
00:05:13,403 --> 00:05:15,563
Do you wanna come in?

98
00:05:18,083 --> 00:05:20,523
I thought you were going out.

99
00:05:20,523 --> 00:05:22,763
Twist's in a... mood.

100
00:05:22,963 --> 00:05:28,123
Surprise, an unreliable girlfriend(!)
What's the matter with her?

101
00:05:28,123 --> 00:05:30,923
(MUMBLES) Dunno. Didn't specify.

102
00:05:30,923 --> 00:05:35,923
That's right. You've gotta guess.

103
00:05:33,123 --> 00:05:35,923
It must be strange being a woman.

104
00:05:36,363 --> 00:05:42,523
All that power.

105
00:05:37,763 --> 00:05:42,523
What?!

106
00:05:38,843 --> 00:05:42,523
They are the true creators,
aren't they?

107
00:05:42,523 --> 00:05:45,043
All men do is destroy things.

108
00:05:45,283 --> 00:05:47,283
(CONTENTEDLY) Yeah.

109
00:05:47,483 --> 00:05:52,443
They're the true children of nature,
Gaia's foot soldiers.

110
00:05:52,443 --> 00:05:57,603
They look like us.

111
00:05:53,443 --> 00:05:57,603
Speak for yourself.

112
00:05:54,443 --> 00:05:57,603
Two arms, two legs,...

113
00:05:55,483 --> 00:05:57,603
Two faces.

114
00:05:57,603 --> 00:05:59,643
There's more to it.

115
00:05:59,643 --> 00:06:04,443
If women spend time together,
their menstrual cycles synchronise.

116
00:06:04,643 --> 00:06:10,403
Men have that too.

117
00:06:06,243 --> 00:06:10,403
Mike.

118
00:06:07,043 --> 00:06:10,403
Men have got an unspoken telepathy.

119
00:06:10,403 --> 00:06:13,283
A connection between male psyches.

120
00:06:13,283 --> 00:06:18,643
Whether they know each other or not,
put a group together, it's the same.

121
00:06:16,643 --> 00:06:18,643
What do you mean?

122
00:06:18,643 --> 00:06:21,563
Should we show him?

123
00:06:19,563 --> 00:06:21,563
I am not in the mood.

124
00:06:21,763 --> 00:06:23,843
Oh, shit!

125
00:06:24,043 --> 00:06:26,083
GUNFIRE

126
00:06:28,323 --> 00:06:30,483
RAPID GUNFIRE

127
00:06:37,963 --> 00:06:39,963
Bang! Bang!

128
00:06:43,003 --> 00:06:45,003
FLAME THROWER

129
00:06:49,883 --> 00:06:51,883
SHOTGUN

130
00:07:02,883 --> 00:07:04,603
BOING

131
00:07:05,483 --> 00:07:07,883
You ready?

132
00:07:08,483 --> 00:07:13,723
Have you got manoeuveres?

133
00:07:09,243 --> 00:07:13,723
Reconnaissance.

134
00:07:10,563 --> 00:07:13,723
Are there gonna be tanks?

135
00:07:11,563 --> 00:07:13,723
I've learnt my lesson.

136
00:07:13,723 --> 00:07:17,483
I'm not gonna steal another tank.

137
00:07:15,123 --> 00:07:17,483
What time are you going?

138
00:07:17,483 --> 00:07:23,683
2100 hours.

139
00:07:18,523 --> 00:07:23,683
That's nine o'clock.

140
00:07:19,603 --> 00:07:23,683
Would you take Colin for a walk
about eight?

141
00:07:23,683 --> 00:07:27,323
What?

142
00:07:24,203 --> 00:07:27,323
That's 2000 hours.

143
00:07:25,323 --> 00:07:27,323
Oh, yeah.

144
00:07:31,323 --> 00:07:33,483
TV: LAUGHTER

145
00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:38,123
That's never happened to me before.

146
00:07:42,563 --> 00:07:45,243
Minicab?

147
00:07:43,163 --> 00:07:45,243
BOTH: No, thanks.

148
00:07:46,163 --> 00:07:48,603
Take this, you won't get searched.

149
00:07:48,603 --> 00:07:54,363
Why?

150
00:07:49,163 --> 00:07:54,363
You look like a primary teacher.

151
00:07:50,723 --> 00:07:54,363
That's enough of that.

152
00:07:51,963 --> 00:07:54,363
Sorry, miss. What's the plan?

153
00:07:54,803 --> 00:07:56,883
'Get the tube into Soho,

154
00:07:56,883 --> 00:08:03,443
go for drinks in a fashionable gay
West End gay bar before catching
a play by a hip playwright.'

155
00:08:03,643 --> 00:08:07,363
'Then we go to a coffee house
and discuss the play

156
00:08:07,363 --> 00:08:13,803
before retiring to a jazz bar
to talk about life till it's time
to catch the last tube.'

157
00:08:14,003 --> 00:08:18,563
What do you think?

158
00:08:14,563 --> 00:08:18,563
I think I'm going home.

159
00:08:16,043 --> 00:08:18,563
Well, what do you wanna do then?

160
00:08:18,763 --> 00:08:22,763
'We get the tube into Camden
and head for the nearest bar.'

161
00:08:22,763 --> 00:08:27,083
'We smoke a spliff
so we're monkeyed when we get there.'

162
00:08:27,083 --> 00:08:31,443
'We stay there for a while
and end up laughing like twats.'

163
00:08:31,443 --> 00:08:35,843
'We then relocate to a low-level pub
and drink until we...

164
00:08:35,843 --> 00:08:39,283
a) fall over, b) puke,
or c) fall over and puke.'

165
00:08:39,763 --> 00:08:44,403
I like my idea better.

166
00:08:41,043 --> 00:08:44,403
Yeah, well, you would.

167
00:08:42,003 --> 00:08:44,403
I think it's more interesting.

168
00:08:44,403 --> 00:08:46,963
Toss a coin?

169
00:08:49,723 --> 00:08:54,403
Two pints of cider, please.

170
00:08:50,883 --> 00:08:54,403
And crisps.

171
00:08:51,363 --> 00:08:54,403
And crisps as well.

172
00:08:52,403 --> 00:08:54,403
Two packets of crisps.

173
00:08:55,323 --> 00:08:58,323
And nuts

174
00:08:55,723 --> 00:08:58,323
Daisy, I'm ordering the drinks!

175
00:08:58,323 --> 00:09:02,643
I can't remember now.
Fuck it, two tequila slammers.

176
00:09:00,643 --> 00:09:02,643
YES!

177
00:09:04,163 --> 00:09:08,243
It's ups and downs, ups and downs,
ups and downs.

178
00:09:08,243 --> 00:09:11,083
We're not more up than down.

179
00:09:19,963 --> 00:09:22,363
Know what I mean?

180
00:09:22,963 --> 00:09:25,523
What did you wanna be as a kid?

181
00:09:25,723 --> 00:09:28,843
Monkey.

182
00:09:26,243 --> 00:09:28,843
A monkey?

183
00:09:26,843 --> 00:09:28,843
No, Monkey.

184
00:09:28,843 --> 00:09:32,283
(MIMICS) Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay. Headache!

185
00:09:32,483 --> 00:09:36,443
What did you wanna be?

186
00:09:33,403 --> 00:09:36,443
Elvis.

187
00:09:33,963 --> 00:09:36,443
That's stupid, he's a bloke.

188
00:09:36,843 --> 00:09:42,963
(IMPERSONATES ELVIS)
# I don't wanna be a tiger
Cos tigers play too rough #

189
00:09:44,003 --> 00:09:46,003
Go on. Go on.

190
00:09:49,403 --> 00:09:51,883
There's a good little fellow.

191
00:09:51,883 --> 00:09:56,443
Right, off to enjoy a night running
round in the dark with a gun.

192
00:09:56,443 --> 00:09:58,523
You stay here and be good.

193
00:09:58,523 --> 00:10:01,323
Settle down and get comfy cos you...

194
00:10:01,323 --> 00:10:03,483
are going nowhere.

195
00:10:05,483 --> 00:10:07,083
Oh, bollocks.

196
00:10:07,603 --> 00:10:09,643
Colin! Colin!

197
00:10:14,843 --> 00:10:18,163
Colin! Colin! COLIN!

198
00:10:20,763 --> 00:10:25,643
I'm glad we decided to stay in,
Twist. It's so nice here.

199
00:10:26,083 --> 00:10:28,243
Just you and me together.

200
00:10:28,803 --> 00:10:31,963
I've been naughty.

201
00:10:29,883 --> 00:10:31,963
Naughty?

202
00:10:32,363 --> 00:10:35,563
I've lost Colin.

203
00:10:32,843 --> 00:10:35,563
How?

204
00:10:33,563 --> 00:10:35,563
He just ran off.

205
00:10:35,563 --> 00:10:39,123
Brian, we've got to find him.

206
00:10:37,123 --> 00:10:39,123
He'll come back.

207
00:10:39,123 --> 00:10:45,083
One thing I've learned
is never leave a man behind.

208
00:10:41,883 --> 00:10:45,083
It's a dog.

209
00:10:42,723 --> 00:10:45,083
Or a dog.

210
00:10:47,083 --> 00:10:49,203
Bye, Twist.

211
00:10:53,123 --> 00:10:55,403
Sophie seems very nice.

212
00:10:56,203 --> 00:10:58,363
Yeah, she's cool. Very cool.

213
00:10:59,123 --> 00:11:01,163
She's quite quiet.

214
00:11:01,163 --> 00:11:06,883
What?! She talks more than you.

215
00:11:02,723 --> 00:11:06,883
Really?

216
00:11:03,283 --> 00:11:06,883
Yeah, yeah.
And she's very funny as well.

217
00:11:06,883 --> 00:11:11,083
She really makes me laugh.

218
00:11:08,283 --> 00:11:11,083
Well, I'm glad. I'm glad for you.

219
00:11:11,963 --> 00:11:15,163
What about you? You er...

220
00:11:13,163 --> 00:11:15,163
Glad.

221
00:11:15,763 --> 00:11:21,963
You got someone special?

222
00:11:17,403 --> 00:11:21,963
No, I put men off.

223
00:11:19,243 --> 00:11:21,963
No, you don't.

224
00:11:19,963 --> 00:11:21,963
No, I do, trust me.

225
00:11:22,563 --> 00:11:25,043
Hey, come on, pull my finger.

226
00:11:25,803 --> 00:11:27,443
FARTS

227
00:11:28,883 --> 00:11:32,643
Well, look,
you're a beautiful, talented woman.

228
00:11:32,843 --> 00:11:37,763
I'm going to go to the toilet
and I bet some bloke chats you up.

229
00:11:46,163 --> 00:11:48,163
(CLEARS THROAT)

230
00:11:50,123 --> 00:11:52,123
You having a good night?

231
00:11:53,843 --> 00:11:56,123
Are you having a good night?

232
00:11:56,123 --> 00:11:58,563
Yeah. You?

233
00:11:59,323 --> 00:12:01,923
Oh, yes.

234
00:12:02,403 --> 00:12:05,323
Do you know where I'd get some puff?

235
00:12:05,323 --> 00:12:07,443
Erm, not at the moment, no.

236
00:12:07,443 --> 00:12:09,363
Have you got any?

237
00:12:09,363 --> 00:12:15,043
Just a couple of spliffs' worth.

238
00:12:11,043 --> 00:12:15,043
Can I buy it off you?

239
00:12:12,243 --> 00:12:15,043
No. "It's just for me and my dawg."

240
00:12:16,003 --> 00:12:18,883
Do you remember that Kiaora advert?

241
00:12:18,883 --> 00:12:21,483
"It's too orangey for crows."

242
00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:24,203
Brilliant.

243
00:12:25,403 --> 00:12:27,843
What are you talking about?

244
00:12:27,843 --> 00:12:31,043
You remember that, don't you?

245
00:13:01,083 --> 00:13:04,123
Hi, Dom, yeah. This is Duane Benzie.

246
00:13:06,723 --> 00:13:09,883
Tim, hi, I didn't expect to see you.

247
00:13:10,083 --> 00:13:12,603
You stole my girlfriend.

248
00:13:12,803 --> 00:13:14,883
LAUGHTER

249
00:13:15,443 --> 00:13:18,083
(DEMONIC LAUGHTER)

250
00:13:25,883 --> 00:13:29,123
Oh, Tim, this is, erm,...

251
00:13:27,043 --> 00:13:29,123
Duane.

252
00:13:29,123 --> 00:13:32,003
Tim, hi.

253
00:13:32,283 --> 00:13:36,283
This isn't the kind of place
I'd expect to find you.

254
00:13:36,283 --> 00:13:39,603
It's exactly
where I'd expect to see you.

255
00:13:39,803 --> 00:13:45,763
What does that mean?

256
00:13:41,363 --> 00:13:45,763
You work it out.

257
00:13:43,043 --> 00:13:45,763
All right then.

258
00:13:45,763 --> 00:13:48,963
You're Duane. The "Duane" Duane.

259
00:13:49,163 --> 00:13:52,643
Duane Benzie.

260
00:13:50,603 --> 00:13:52,643
Duane Benzie that...

261
00:13:53,123 --> 00:13:55,163
Stole my girlfriend.

262
00:13:55,163 --> 00:13:57,883
That depends how you look at it.

263
00:13:57,883 --> 00:14:00,003
Tim looks at it that way.

264
00:14:00,203 --> 00:14:05,603
Yes, I do.

265
00:14:01,843 --> 00:14:05,603
So, Tim, haven't seen you since...

266
00:14:08,163 --> 00:14:10,443
No hard feelings, eh?

267
00:14:10,643 --> 00:14:15,643
You shot me in the bollocks, Tim.

268
00:14:12,803 --> 00:14:15,643
Like I said, no hard feelings.

269
00:14:17,403 --> 00:14:20,683
You're lucky I didn't sue.

270
00:14:18,683 --> 00:14:20,683
Well, why didn't you?

271
00:14:20,683 --> 00:14:22,683
I'm not a monster, Tim.

272
00:14:22,683 --> 00:14:27,203
Besides, you don't have much
in the way of... assets.

273
00:14:29,203 --> 00:14:31,803
I heard you got back with Sarah.

274
00:14:32,243 --> 00:14:37,883
She came to her senses.

275
00:14:34,003 --> 00:14:37,883
She not out tonight?

276
00:14:35,243 --> 00:14:37,883
No, she's erm...

277
00:14:35,643 --> 00:14:37,883
Working late?

278
00:14:37,883 --> 00:14:44,043
She's got a presentation.

279
00:14:38,683 --> 00:14:44,043
Putting in a lot of overtime?

280
00:14:40,523 --> 00:14:44,043
What's that supposed to mean?

281
00:14:44,043 --> 00:14:46,043
(COUGHS)

282
00:14:46,883 --> 00:14:48,923
Daisy, we're leaving.

283
00:14:50,083 --> 00:14:52,483
Nice to meet you, Daisy.

284
00:14:52,483 --> 00:14:54,803
Yeah, yeah. Pull my finger.

285
00:14:59,083 --> 00:15:01,523
Daisy!

286
00:15:15,923 --> 00:15:18,643
At last I will emerge as the victor.

287
00:15:19,923 --> 00:15:22,363
At last I will have revenge.

288
00:15:28,323 --> 00:15:32,003
I'm glad we left
cos that could've got nasty.

289
00:15:32,203 --> 00:15:34,243
How 'bout that spliff?

290
00:15:34,243 --> 00:15:40,203
I told you, we're not selling.

291
00:15:35,603 --> 00:15:40,203
We're not buying.

292
00:15:37,683 --> 00:15:40,203
Blondie's got something for me.

293
00:15:44,603 --> 00:15:47,163
Yes. Daisy, give him the stuff.

294
00:15:47,163 --> 00:15:50,403
They're only about 12.

295
00:15:48,403 --> 00:15:50,403
Look at them.

296
00:15:51,683 --> 00:15:53,643
(CRACKS NECK)

297
00:15:53,643 --> 00:15:55,723
(BURPS)

298
00:15:56,243 --> 00:15:58,243
(TUTS)

299
00:16:01,803 --> 00:16:06,243
Just what I've been looking for.

300
00:16:10,003 --> 00:16:14,683
I cannot believe this.

301
00:16:11,603 --> 00:16:14,683
Tim.

302
00:16:12,123 --> 00:16:14,683
I got mugged by the Red Hand Gang.

303
00:16:14,683 --> 00:16:19,643
Come on.

304
00:16:15,363 --> 00:16:19,643
And Sophie's sleeping with her boss.

305
00:16:16,843 --> 00:16:19,643
She's not sleeping with her boss.

306
00:16:20,083 --> 00:16:22,203
And besides, what if she is? >

307
00:16:22,403 --> 00:16:25,003
Sometimes it pays to be single.

308
00:16:25,003 --> 00:16:27,843
Take Marsha, know what she told me?

309
00:16:28,963 --> 00:16:31,603
I was gonna be an Olympic athlete.

310
00:16:31,603 --> 00:16:35,403
What's that got to do with anything?

311
00:16:33,283 --> 00:16:35,403
I'll tell ya.

312
00:16:36,523 --> 00:16:39,083
I was a sprinter, a fast one too.

313
00:16:39,483 --> 00:16:42,243
Why do you think I've got ace pins?

314
00:16:42,243 --> 00:16:44,203
They're me souvenirs.

315
00:16:44,203 --> 00:16:49,443
Forked-lightening Klein, they
called me. I was set for stardom.

316
00:16:49,443 --> 00:16:53,723
Sailed through the districts,
walked the nationals.

317
00:16:53,723 --> 00:16:58,643
All set to wow the Olympic selection
committee when suddenly - bang!

318
00:16:59,803 --> 00:17:01,803
You got shot?!

319
00:17:01,803 --> 00:17:03,883
Might as well have done.

320
00:17:03,883 --> 00:17:06,243
I was coming back from training

321
00:17:06,243 --> 00:17:10,443
when suddenly a Mini comes
out of nowhere and knocks me down.

322
00:17:10,443 --> 00:17:15,603
Next thing, I'm on the pavement
with this pillock standing over me

323
00:17:15,603 --> 00:17:20,243
saying "I didn't see you,
I was going too fast, I was drunk."

324
00:17:20,243 --> 00:17:23,443
He gives me his Jack Daniels bottle.

325
00:17:23,443 --> 00:17:28,923
"I don't drink" I said. "Oh, go on,
love, it'll help with the pain."

326
00:17:30,083 --> 00:17:32,083
He was not wrong.

327
00:17:32,283 --> 00:17:34,283
Oh, my God.

328
00:17:34,563 --> 00:17:37,923
Fractured me tibia, couldn't train.

329
00:17:37,923 --> 00:17:40,323
Eventually lost interest.

330
00:17:40,323 --> 00:17:42,603
What happened to the pillock?

331
00:17:42,603 --> 00:17:44,683
I married him in '69.

332
00:17:46,963 --> 00:17:51,843
I often wonder what would've
happened if I wasn't knocked down.

333
00:17:51,843 --> 00:17:53,883
Where would I be now?

334
00:17:56,083 --> 00:17:59,683
Thanks, Des.
Coming up, the latest rugby

335
00:17:59,683 --> 00:18:02,243
and a report from the Davis Cup.

336
00:18:03,683 --> 00:18:05,683
Thanks.

337
00:18:05,683 --> 00:18:08,643
I'm being stupid. I'm paranoid.

338
00:18:08,643 --> 00:18:12,523
I keep thinking about what happened
with Sarah.

339
00:18:12,523 --> 00:18:15,643
That is in the history. That's past.

340
00:18:15,643 --> 00:18:21,243
Stop thinking about Sarah.

341
00:18:17,003 --> 00:18:21,243
I don't. I don't think about her,
I don't miss her.

342
00:18:21,243 --> 00:18:27,243
I don't think about what
it would've been like to get married,
have kids and a Prologic TV.

343
00:18:27,243 --> 00:18:29,963
I don't think about it. And a studio.

344
00:18:32,203 --> 00:18:34,203
Sod the grass.

345
00:18:34,483 --> 00:18:39,403
You've got good friends, you've got
a good job and a foxy lady.

346
00:18:39,403 --> 00:18:41,803
I'm the luckiest man in town.

347
00:18:44,523 --> 00:18:46,723
Have a nice night, Tim!

348
00:18:53,323 --> 00:18:55,363
Get on that.

349
00:18:55,483 --> 00:18:57,403
This in't grass.

350
00:18:58,163 --> 00:19:00,283
It's oregano.

351
00:19:00,283 --> 00:19:02,323
How can you tell?

352
00:19:02,323 --> 00:19:04,563
I'm a catering student.

353
00:19:04,563 --> 00:19:06,563
Get the car.

354
00:19:08,043 --> 00:19:10,723
Make your way out, please.

355
00:19:12,203 --> 00:19:14,603
We should do this more often.

356
00:19:14,603 --> 00:19:18,403
It's your birthday soon,
we could have a blowout.

357
00:19:18,403 --> 00:19:24,323
Let's go home, watch some telly
and eat some stew.

358
00:19:21,923 --> 00:19:24,323
Now that's a plan I like.

359
00:19:24,323 --> 00:19:27,683
Have you got your keys?

360
00:19:25,683 --> 00:19:27,683
I left mine in that pub.

361
00:19:27,683 --> 00:19:29,723
They'll close soon.

362
00:19:50,843 --> 00:19:55,323
He who laughs last laughs longest.
(LAUGHS)

363
00:20:22,083 --> 00:20:24,083
GUNSHOTS

364
00:20:40,883 --> 00:20:42,843
MACHINE-GUN FIRE

365
00:20:48,043 --> 00:20:50,043
CLICKING

366
00:20:50,243 --> 00:20:53,043
# BARBER: Adagio For Strings

367
00:21:02,923 --> 00:21:04,923
SPURTING

368
00:21:10,803 --> 00:21:13,043
SIMULTANEOUS GUNSHOTS

369
00:21:28,163 --> 00:21:30,163
Tim! Let's go!

370
00:21:33,163 --> 00:21:36,363
BOTH: Yes, please!

371
00:21:34,363 --> 00:21:36,363
Step on it!

372
00:21:38,923 --> 00:21:42,003
Come on!

373
00:21:40,003 --> 00:21:42,003
ENGINE RACES

374
00:21:46,403 --> 00:21:48,403
CRASH

375
00:21:49,763 --> 00:21:54,723
You bloody idiot! Have you any idea
how much this car cost?

376
00:21:54,723 --> 00:21:59,923
Why not piss off back to Womford
where you belong, you little prick?!

377
00:22:00,123 --> 00:22:01,843
Eh?! Eh?!

378
00:22:08,603 --> 00:22:10,603
Clever boys.

379
00:22:14,043 --> 00:22:16,043
(SCREAMING)

380
00:22:29,963 --> 00:22:31,963
Thanks, bye.

381
00:22:31,963 --> 00:22:36,443
I can't believe
you said "Step on it".

382
00:22:34,003 --> 00:22:36,443
I wanted to say it.

383
00:22:38,563 --> 00:22:40,563
DOOR BUZZER

384
00:22:41,923 --> 00:22:43,923
CONTINUOUS BUZZING

385
00:22:50,923 --> 00:22:53,403
Think we'll be here all night?

386
00:22:53,403 --> 00:22:55,163
Nah.

387
00:22:58,843 --> 00:23:00,923
I'm cold.

388
00:23:06,003 --> 00:23:08,083
(BOTH SIGH)

389
00:23:13,443 --> 00:23:16,683
You know what I was saying
earlier on?

390
00:23:16,883 --> 00:23:20,803
About what?

391
00:23:18,323 --> 00:23:20,803
About being single and that.

392
00:23:21,643 --> 00:23:25,763
I think the thing is
not to go looking for it, you know.

393
00:23:25,763 --> 00:23:29,963
I think things happen
when you least expect them to.

394
00:23:33,283 --> 00:23:35,203
Yeah?

395
00:23:37,643 --> 00:23:39,643
METALLIC JINGLE

396
00:23:40,283 --> 00:23:45,043
Isn't that your dog?

397
00:23:41,523 --> 00:23:45,043
Aren't those your keys?

398
00:23:43,003 --> 00:23:45,043
Yeah!

399
00:23:45,043 --> 00:23:48,363
I must have had them all along.

400
00:23:56,443 --> 00:24:00,043
Have you two
just been taking Colin out?

401
00:24:00,043 --> 00:24:05,323
BOTH: Yes.

402
00:24:01,483 --> 00:24:05,323
Didn't you go on your mission?

403
00:24:03,323 --> 00:24:05,323
Erm,... sort of.

404
00:24:06,003 --> 00:24:08,803
You're in time for stew. Chop chop.

405
00:24:13,723 --> 00:24:17,123
(STONED)
That was a great stew, Daisy.

406
00:24:38,403 --> 00:24:40,883
I think I'll make another one.

407
00:24:41,083 --> 00:24:43,883
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