1
00:00:01,043 --> 00:00:04,043
CONTAINS SOME STRONG LANGUAGE

2
00:00:04,163 --> 00:00:06,163
# Bagpuss Theme Tune

3
00:00:23,083 --> 00:00:24,843
SCREAM

4
00:00:25,043 --> 00:00:29,083
I'm sorry!

5
00:00:25,803 --> 00:00:29,083
I'm hit!

6
00:00:26,483 --> 00:00:29,083
I'm blind!

7
00:00:27,323 --> 00:00:29,083
Buffy!

8
00:00:29,283 --> 00:00:32,363
SCREAMING & RUMBLING

9
00:00:35,243 --> 00:00:38,563
GLASS SMASHING

10
00:00:36,283 --> 00:00:38,563
SCREAMING: I want to go out!

11
00:00:39,883 --> 00:00:42,003
SCREAMING

12
00:00:40,243 --> 00:00:42,003
WANT TO GO OUT!!!

13
00:00:42,203 --> 00:00:47,403
Amber. Amber.

14
00:00:45,763 --> 00:00:47,403
SHORT GROWL

15
00:00:47,603 --> 00:00:50,443
HOOF-LIKE FOOTSTEPS

16
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HOWLING WIND

17
00:00:57,843 --> 00:01:00,883
TYRES SCREECH & ENGINE ROARS

18
00:01:05,923 --> 00:01:09,123
I knew this day would come.

19
00:01:09,523 --> 00:01:12,563
Still, she had to go sometime.

20
00:01:13,123 --> 00:01:16,643
BOOMERANG TYPE WHIPPING

21
00:01:26,203 --> 00:01:31,243
I met this girl when I was travelling
whose dad had to go to war.

22
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But he was crippled.

23
00:01:33,243 --> 00:01:36,163
So she wasn't what her parents wanted

24
00:01:36,163 --> 00:01:40,723
Not that you didn't want Amber,
but she was different - a tomboy.

25
00:01:40,723 --> 00:01:43,563
So she stole her dad's armour

26
00:01:43,763 --> 00:01:48,483
and went to war instead of him.
Then they won the war because of her.

27
00:01:48,483 --> 00:01:53,443
That's Mulan.

28
00:01:49,083 --> 00:01:53,443
That's her name. Do you know her?

29
00:01:50,603 --> 00:01:53,443
It's a Disney film.

30
00:01:51,363 --> 00:01:53,443
It's a Disney film. Yes.

31
00:01:54,123 --> 00:01:56,203
And there's a song in it

32
00:01:56,203 --> 00:01:59,723
which is about
how she wants to look in a mirror

33
00:01:59,723 --> 00:02:03,003
and then # See her real reflection #

34
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I think that's probably
a bit how Amber feels.

35
00:02:07,363 --> 00:02:12,683
Like Mulan?

36
00:02:08,723 --> 00:02:12,683
Yeah.

37
00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:12,683
Eddie Murphy does the dragon voice.

38
00:02:12,683 --> 00:02:15,203
To my mind, his third best film.

39
00:02:15,203 --> 00:02:17,203
Does anyone want a drink?

40
00:02:17,203 --> 00:02:19,323
Bit early for that, innit?

41
00:02:19,763 --> 00:02:23,363
Yeah, go on, then.

42
00:02:20,963 --> 00:02:23,363
I was thinking more like a tea.

43
00:02:25,923 --> 00:02:32,763
Are you worried about Amber?

44
00:02:27,643 --> 00:02:32,763
Nah. She's got three languages and
a Dutch cap, she'll be fine. Cheers.

45
00:02:34,323 --> 00:02:36,323
You are so blind!

46
00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:38,323
You so do not understand!

47
00:02:38,323 --> 00:02:43,083
You weren't there at the beginning!
You don't know how good it was!

48
00:02:43,083 --> 00:02:46,563
This is it for you!
This jumped-up toy advert!

49
00:02:46,563 --> 00:02:50,243
People like you make me sick!
What's wrong with you?

50
00:02:50,243 --> 00:02:54,283
Now, I don't care
if you've saved up all your 50ps,

51
00:02:54,283 --> 00:02:58,323
take your pocket money AND GET OUT!!

52
00:02:56,363 --> 00:02:58,323
(CRIES)

53
00:02:58,523 --> 00:03:00,603
(SIGHS)

54
00:03:01,523 --> 00:03:04,203
(INHALES) What a prick!

55
00:03:07,723 --> 00:03:10,243
Tim, can I have a word in my office?

56
00:03:11,283 --> 00:03:12,683
Yes.

57
00:03:19,123 --> 00:03:21,123
Have a seat, Tim.

58
00:03:23,883 --> 00:03:26,363
Twiglet?

59
00:03:24,723 --> 00:03:26,363
Better not.

60
00:03:26,563 --> 00:03:28,563
I was like you once.

61
00:03:28,563 --> 00:03:31,443
Blond hair, scraggy little beard.

62
00:03:31,443 --> 00:03:33,443
Child-like ears.

63
00:03:33,443 --> 00:03:35,643
Full of beans and spunk!

64
00:03:35,843 --> 00:03:39,083
I let my principles
get in the way sometimes.

65
00:03:39,083 --> 00:03:44,643
I punched a bloke in the face for
saying Hawk the Slayer was rubbish.

66
00:03:42,443 --> 00:03:44,643
Good for you.

67
00:03:44,643 --> 00:03:50,043
That's not the point. I defended the
fantasy genre with terminal intensity

68
00:03:50,243 --> 00:03:53,443
when I should have said
"Dad, you're right."

69
00:03:53,443 --> 00:03:57,123
"Let's give Krull a try
and we'll discuss it later."

70
00:03:57,123 --> 00:04:03,723
The Phantom Menace was 18 months ago!

71
00:04:00,363 --> 00:04:03,723
I know, Bilbo,
it... it still hurts.

72
00:04:03,723 --> 00:04:10,163
That kid wanted a Jar Jar doll.

73
00:04:05,283 --> 00:04:10,163
Kids like Jar Jar!

74
00:04:06,723 --> 00:04:10,163
Why?!

75
00:04:07,363 --> 00:04:10,163
What about Ewoks?! They were rubbish!

76
00:04:10,163 --> 00:04:15,323
You don't complain about them.

77
00:04:11,723 --> 00:04:15,323
Jar Jar Binks makes the Ewoks
look like fucking Shaft!

78
00:04:15,523 --> 00:04:19,043
I've had enough, Tim.

79
00:04:16,243 --> 00:04:19,043
But, Bilbo... >

80
00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:19,043
I know how you feel, right?

81
00:04:19,043 --> 00:04:23,163
But this can't go on.

82
00:04:20,523 --> 00:04:23,163
What are you trying to say, Bilbo?

83
00:04:23,163 --> 00:04:26,283
I'm gonna have to let you go.

84
00:04:26,803 --> 00:04:29,003
Phew! (LAUGHS)

85
00:04:29,003 --> 00:04:30,643
Arghh!

86
00:04:30,643 --> 00:04:33,763
I thought you were going to fire me.
(LAUGHS)

87
00:04:33,763 --> 00:04:36,203
I was, like... (GAGS) Phew!

88
00:04:36,203 --> 00:04:38,203
Look at that!

89
00:04:46,723 --> 00:04:50,603
Right, off to work.
Should be back in a couple of hours.

90
00:04:50,603 --> 00:04:52,923
Mike, have you got any money?

91
00:04:53,123 --> 00:04:55,123
Actual currency, no.

92
00:04:55,763 --> 00:04:59,563
I'm sure I had some
but it just seems to have just gone.

93
00:05:00,283 --> 00:05:02,523
Oh. I should, you know, get off.

94
00:05:02,723 --> 00:05:07,043
You didn't sort of borrow it -
go through my pockets and...

95
00:05:07,243 --> 00:05:10,603
Steal it?

96
00:05:08,003 --> 00:05:10,603
I'm sorry, that sounded really bad.

97
00:05:10,603 --> 00:05:15,123
Erm... did you steal it?

98
00:05:12,083 --> 00:05:15,123
No!

99
00:05:12,963 --> 00:05:15,123
Sorry, no, you're right.

100
00:05:15,123 --> 00:05:18,483
Have a nice day.

101
00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:18,483
Yeah, thanks.

102
00:05:18,483 --> 00:05:21,003
Mike, what do you do?

103
00:05:21,003 --> 00:05:26,043
If I tell you that,
I'll have to kill you.

104
00:05:23,563 --> 00:05:26,043
What, is it, like, secret?

105
00:05:26,043 --> 00:05:27,843
No.

106
00:05:32,843 --> 00:05:34,843
Hi, Bri.

107
00:05:35,603 --> 00:05:41,883
Gone.

108
00:05:36,523 --> 00:05:41,883
What's gone?

109
00:05:37,603 --> 00:05:41,883
Can't paint.

110
00:05:39,563 --> 00:05:41,883
Yes, you can. You're very good.

111
00:05:41,883 --> 00:05:46,283
My mind's just blank. I haven't
painted anything in months.

112
00:05:46,483 --> 00:05:48,563
I-I don't know what's wrong.

113
00:05:48,603 --> 00:05:53,203
Maybe you should try approaching
the canvas in different ways.

114
00:05:53,203 --> 00:05:56,443
I have.

115
00:05:54,443 --> 00:05:56,443
# Terry And June Theme

116
00:06:01,363 --> 00:06:03,163
Aaagghh!

117
00:06:07,283 --> 00:06:10,763
How do you tackle a creative block,
Daisy?

118
00:06:10,763 --> 00:06:12,763
I'm very fortunate,

119
00:06:12,763 --> 00:06:17,283
I rarely suffer from writer's block.
I'm extremely prolific.

120
00:06:17,283 --> 00:06:20,243
You're very lucky.

121
00:06:18,123 --> 00:06:20,243
Yeah, I know.

122
00:06:20,243 --> 00:06:25,323
Have you got any money? I've got
to sign on and can't afford the bus.

123
00:06:25,523 --> 00:06:27,523
Can't you go to the bank?

124
00:06:27,963 --> 00:06:29,963
Please! Just a tenner!

125
00:06:31,763 --> 00:06:35,563
(SIGHS) I haven't got a bank account.
They closed it.

126
00:06:35,563 --> 00:06:41,603
I haven't signed on for months and
I didn't tell them I was going away.

127
00:06:41,803 --> 00:06:45,963
I'm sure you'll be all right.
They're reasonable people.

128
00:06:57,403 --> 00:07:01,123
Tim?

129
00:06:58,243 --> 00:07:01,123
(SHOUTS INCOHERENTLY)

130
00:07:03,523 --> 00:07:05,523
BANGING AND CLATTERING

131
00:07:09,523 --> 00:07:11,523
Is everything all right?

132
00:07:11,723 --> 00:07:15,683
Yes! Why?

133
00:07:13,243 --> 00:07:15,683
No reason.

134
00:07:17,803 --> 00:07:19,803
I've lost my job.

135
00:07:19,923 --> 00:07:22,363
What? Why?

136
00:07:27,163 --> 00:07:29,563
Not Phantom Menace?

137
00:07:31,483 --> 00:07:37,203
Better go.

138
00:07:32,203 --> 00:07:37,203
Good luck with your blockage.
Oh, there's a letter here for you.

139
00:07:37,523 --> 00:07:39,523
Thanks. Ta.

140
00:07:39,523 --> 00:07:41,803
Sorry about your job, Tim.

141
00:07:42,003 --> 00:07:45,403
Yeah, I'm sorry about your uncle,
Brian.

142
00:07:49,683 --> 00:07:53,643
Come on, mate. It's not as if
he hasn't fired you before.

143
00:07:53,683 --> 00:07:57,483
He's a reasonable bloke,
I'm sure you can sort it out.

144
00:07:57,683 --> 00:08:02,043
He's got somebody coming in
for an interview this afternoon.

145
00:08:02,043 --> 00:08:05,963
One thing's for sure,
he'll be no Tim Bisley.

146
00:08:06,483 --> 00:08:08,883
That all seems to be in order.

147
00:08:09,403 --> 00:08:11,403
When can you start? >

148
00:08:12,043 --> 00:08:14,723
Come on, Tim, there'll be other jobs.

149
00:08:14,723 --> 00:08:16,723
What about your comic?

150
00:08:16,723 --> 00:08:23,923
I'm sure the comic industry's
desperately in need of a giant mutant
bear with really special claws!

151
00:08:27,403 --> 00:08:32,243
You've just got to get out there.

152
00:08:28,963 --> 00:08:32,243
Yeah, well, I'm scared.

153
00:08:30,243 --> 00:08:32,243
Of what? >

154
00:08:32,523 --> 00:08:34,523
MANIC LAUGHTER

155
00:08:37,443 --> 00:08:39,963
Nothing.

156
00:08:40,203 --> 00:08:45,123
Come on. I was about to sign on.
Why don't you come with me?

157
00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:45,123
OK.

158
00:08:45,123 --> 00:08:49,403
Why don't you lend me the bus fare?

159
00:08:47,203 --> 00:08:49,403
Yeah!

160
00:08:49,443 --> 00:08:52,923
You have got a very special talent,
Tim Bisley.

161
00:08:52,923 --> 00:08:55,323
It's gonna make you a lot of money.

162
00:08:55,323 --> 00:09:00,083
Thanks, Daisy. I wish I had another
special talent to fall back on.

163
00:09:12,483 --> 00:09:15,923
'"Dear Brian,
I hope this letter finds you well,

164
00:09:15,923 --> 00:09:19,443
and that being a lawyer
isn't too stressful."'

165
00:09:19,443 --> 00:09:25,843
'"Sadly, I'm writing with bad news.
Your Uncle Kevin died in his sleep,

166
00:09:25,843 --> 00:09:29,243
whilst driving to Staines
on the M4."'

167
00:09:29,243 --> 00:09:35,043
'"We hope you can find time to come
to the funeral next Thursday."'

168
00:09:35,043 --> 00:09:37,443
'"Lots of love, Mum."'

169
00:09:39,203 --> 00:09:41,203
(MOANS)

170
00:09:53,003 --> 00:09:58,123
What you gonna say?

171
00:09:53,883 --> 00:09:58,123
I'll say I was ill and start crying.
That's you, new claims.

172
00:09:58,123 --> 00:10:00,123
Oh, yeah. OK.

173
00:10:00,163 --> 00:10:03,003
Good luck.

174
00:10:01,003 --> 00:10:03,003
Yeah, you, too.

175
00:10:20,963 --> 00:10:23,443
Hello. I'm Daisy Steiner.

176
00:10:23,443 --> 00:10:27,043
I had an appointment at 10.30,
I'm late.

177
00:10:28,603 --> 00:10:32,163
Take an AB form from the stand
and join the queue.

178
00:10:36,683 --> 00:10:43,083
How long will I have to wait?

179
00:10:38,443 --> 00:10:43,083
I'm sorry, I don't understand.
Just fill out the form.

180
00:10:50,203 --> 00:10:53,643
How long have you been unemployed,
Mr Bisley?

181
00:10:53,883 --> 00:10:57,443
About an hour and a half.

182
00:10:55,163 --> 00:10:57,443
Have you been looking for work?

183
00:11:02,163 --> 00:11:04,163
Why did you leave your job?

184
00:11:04,363 --> 00:11:11,083
Er... I got fired.

185
00:11:05,883 --> 00:11:11,083
Why?

186
00:11:07,163 --> 00:11:11,083
Difference of opinion.

187
00:11:08,283 --> 00:11:11,083
The Phantom Menace?

188
00:11:13,123 --> 00:11:15,563
Didn't you like it?

189
00:11:18,163 --> 00:11:21,043
Well, leave this with me.

190
00:11:21,043 --> 00:11:24,603
I'll get you some money out
in the next few days.

191
00:11:27,523 --> 00:11:29,523
PHONE

192
00:11:34,043 --> 00:11:36,963
Hello.

193
00:11:34,963 --> 00:11:36,963
Brian, it's me.

194
00:11:37,163 --> 00:11:42,763
Hello, me.

195
00:11:37,963 --> 00:11:42,763
How are you?

196
00:11:38,923 --> 00:11:42,763
Very well, thank you.

197
00:11:40,483 --> 00:11:42,763
I miss you.

198
00:11:43,563 --> 00:11:47,803
Miss me, too.

199
00:11:45,243 --> 00:11:47,803
Would you like to come out later?

200
00:11:48,003 --> 00:11:54,483
Yes, please.

201
00:11:49,163 --> 00:11:54,483
I don't have to work tomorrow,
we could stay in bed all day.

202
00:11:54,683 --> 00:11:59,283
Hmmm!

203
00:11:56,003 --> 00:11:59,283
(GIGGLES)
Don't forget to wash your sheets.

204
00:11:59,483 --> 00:12:04,563
Right.

205
00:12:00,803 --> 00:12:04,563
And your penis.

206
00:12:04,563 --> 00:12:06,563
"Bye."

207
00:12:06,723 --> 00:12:08,723
Bye.

208
00:12:22,563 --> 00:12:27,963
Ah, no. This is the Ab form,
you need the AB form - capital B.

209
00:12:28,003 --> 00:12:31,403
But... What?
I've been here for over an hour.

210
00:12:31,603 --> 00:12:33,923
Just over there on the stand.

211
00:12:37,683 --> 00:12:40,163
Is this it?

212
00:12:41,483 --> 00:12:43,563
OK, you want to sign on again?

213
00:12:44,963 --> 00:12:49,443
You last signed on three months ago.
What have you been doing?

214
00:12:49,443 --> 00:12:52,243
(FAKE CRYING) I've been ill.

215
00:12:54,883 --> 00:12:57,083
Do you have a doctor's note?

216
00:12:57,643 --> 00:12:59,643
No, I lost it.

217
00:13:01,243 --> 00:13:05,723
Look, there shouldn't be a problem.
I just want some money.

218
00:13:05,923 --> 00:13:10,523
You've always given me money before.

219
00:13:07,643 --> 00:13:10,523
Sure you haven't been on holiday?

220
00:13:10,723 --> 00:13:13,203
God, no. I couldn't afford that.

221
00:13:13,403 --> 00:13:15,403
(SPEAKS VIETNAMESE)

222
00:13:22,603 --> 00:13:26,203
You... bastard!

223
00:13:24,203 --> 00:13:26,203
What can I say? She liked me.

224
00:13:26,403 --> 00:13:28,723
I've got to pay the rent!

225
00:13:28,723 --> 00:13:30,963
Can't you write some articles?

226
00:13:30,963 --> 00:13:32,963
It's not as easy as that.

227
00:13:32,963 --> 00:13:38,603
I can't just pluck another
"Winter Skin Care: Dos and Don'ts"
out of the air.

228
00:13:41,523 --> 00:13:43,843
Maybe poverty will inspire you.

229
00:13:44,043 --> 00:13:46,043
(SNIVELS)

230
00:13:46,283 --> 00:13:50,523
It's not as bad as all that -
Mike's giving us a few quid.

231
00:13:50,523 --> 00:13:55,283
What if he wants to move out?

232
00:13:51,643 --> 00:13:55,283
He doesn't at the moment,
he's happy.

233
00:13:55,283 --> 00:13:59,883
It's not as if he'll get a better
offer by the time we get back. Eh?

234
00:14:00,243 --> 00:14:02,603
(WHISTLES CHEERILY)

235
00:14:19,363 --> 00:14:21,363
MILITARY DRUMMING

236
00:14:21,923 --> 00:14:25,203
Mike, do you mind if we...?

237
00:14:22,843 --> 00:14:25,203
BOTH: What you doing?

238
00:14:25,203 --> 00:14:30,443
Marsha has offered me the position
of lodger, which I have accepted.

239
00:14:30,443 --> 00:14:36,283
But, Mike...

240
00:14:31,043 --> 00:14:36,283
No, you've been kind enough to let
me stay, it's only right I move on.

241
00:14:36,483 --> 00:14:40,763
But we like having you here.

242
00:14:38,363 --> 00:14:40,763
It'll be fine, I'm only upstairs.

243
00:14:40,763 --> 00:14:46,083
We'll be able to use walkie-talkies
without going to the park.

244
00:14:46,283 --> 00:14:49,603
Ready then, Mike?

245
00:14:47,243 --> 00:14:49,603
I'll be with you in one second.

246
00:14:49,803 --> 00:14:54,403
Here he is, the new lodger. Just
as well, hardly see the other one.

247
00:14:54,603 --> 00:14:59,803
Yeah, Brian's spending a lot of time
with Twist. I hardly see her.

248
00:14:59,803 --> 00:15:02,203
I sometimes hear her.

249
00:15:03,243 --> 00:15:05,243
HIGH-PITCHED SQUEAKING

250
00:15:07,843 --> 00:15:13,003
Yeah. He was up earlier on. I think
he's having a creative crisis.

251
00:15:13,363 --> 00:15:17,483
Serves him right
for getting his knackers in a twist.

252
00:15:17,563 --> 00:15:22,403
I'm looking forward to having
a big, strong bloke round the house.

253
00:15:22,403 --> 00:15:26,963
Who's that?

254
00:15:23,163 --> 00:15:26,963
You, you pillock.

255
00:15:24,483 --> 00:15:26,963
Oh, right.

256
00:15:27,723 --> 00:15:30,083
Ooh, he's funny, isn't he?

257
00:15:30,603 --> 00:15:32,603
(BOTH EXHALE)

258
00:15:37,003 --> 00:15:41,403
Any thoughts?

259
00:15:38,483 --> 00:15:41,403
New batteries for my walkie-talkie.

260
00:15:41,603 --> 00:15:47,403
About our situation.
We're unemployed,
I get no benefit, we need money.

261
00:15:47,403 --> 00:15:54,403
How am I gonna afford
aspirational magazines?

262
00:15:50,123 --> 00:15:54,403
I'm gonna get a job.

263
00:15:51,763 --> 00:15:54,403
You've signed on, you don't have to.

264
00:15:54,603 --> 00:15:59,523
I like working, Daisy  the smell of
the ink, the taste of the biscuit.

265
00:15:59,523 --> 00:16:01,683
Giving the littl'uns advice.

266
00:16:01,683 --> 00:16:04,803
'People like you make me sick!'

267
00:16:02,803 --> 00:16:04,803
CRYING

268
00:16:05,483 --> 00:16:07,683
So do I, I love working.

269
00:16:07,683 --> 00:16:12,603
I was a barmaid once and I loved it
the hustle and bustle of a busy bar.

270
00:16:12,723 --> 00:16:16,083
Can I get some service, please?

271
00:16:14,083 --> 00:16:16,083
Oh, fuck you.

272
00:16:16,083 --> 00:16:19,043
We are good with people.

273
00:16:19,243 --> 00:16:22,243
Absolutely.

274
00:16:20,243 --> 00:16:22,243
That's what writers do

275
00:16:22,243 --> 00:16:26,243
take unrelated jobs
to make money and gain experience.

276
00:16:26,443 --> 00:16:30,083
Hm.

277
00:16:26,923 --> 00:16:30,083
I temped in this office once,

278
00:16:30,283 --> 00:16:34,003
and there were some great characters,
real fodder.

279
00:16:34,003 --> 00:16:37,123
There was this guy, Tony... (LAUGHS)

280
00:16:38,843 --> 00:16:41,243
Oh, what did he say? It was, erm...

281
00:16:44,363 --> 00:16:46,763
Anyway, that's what I'm gonna do.

282
00:16:46,963 --> 00:16:51,643
Everyone does things they don't
want to do sometimes  like Mike.

283
00:16:51,643 --> 00:16:54,363
He makes the best of it.

284
00:16:52,363 --> 00:16:54,363
Does he?

285
00:16:54,363 --> 00:16:56,763
Move! Move! Move!

286
00:16:54,763 --> 00:16:56,763
CHILDREN SCREAM

287
00:16:56,763 --> 00:16:58,763
Don't look at me! Move!

288
00:16:59,283 --> 00:17:03,443
Well, I am going to go
to one of those temping places.

289
00:17:03,443 --> 00:17:07,683
That's the spirit  new horizons,
pastures green, change.

290
00:17:07,683 --> 00:17:10,723
And not the small kind.

291
00:17:08,723 --> 00:17:10,723
(BOTH LAUGH)

292
00:17:10,843 --> 00:17:13,443
Why is that funny?

293
00:17:11,443 --> 00:17:13,443
I don't know.

294
00:17:13,963 --> 00:17:18,803
< Have you worked in a comic shop
before?

295
00:17:16,403 --> 00:17:18,803
Erm, yeah, the Fantasy Bazaar.

296
00:17:18,803 --> 00:17:22,403
< That's Bilbo Bagshot's shop,
isn't it?

297
00:17:23,043 --> 00:17:25,483
< Why'd you leave?

298
00:17:25,763 --> 00:17:28,003
It was a difference of opinion.

299
00:17:28,003 --> 00:17:31,963
Oh, Phantom Menace?

300
00:17:29,843 --> 00:17:31,963
Yeah, and I wanted a change.

301
00:17:32,923 --> 00:17:35,443
OK. When can you start?

302
00:17:35,523 --> 00:17:37,523
I'm sorry?

303
00:17:38,203 --> 00:17:40,443
When can you start?

304
00:17:43,723 --> 00:17:46,723
< So, what kind of work can you do?

305
00:17:47,123 --> 00:17:49,123
Sorry?

306
00:17:49,403 --> 00:17:51,603
What kind of work can you do?

307
00:17:52,643 --> 00:17:55,043
Well, I'm creative, erm,

308
00:17:55,363 --> 00:17:59,003
but I'm at home
in the normal office environment.

309
00:17:59,003 --> 00:18:03,523
But equally comfortable in
the hustle and bustle of an eatery.

310
00:18:03,723 --> 00:18:08,403
So that's anything, then?

311
00:18:05,323 --> 00:18:08,403
Yes, yes, anything. I'm desperate.

312
00:18:10,643 --> 00:18:12,643
BANGING

313
00:18:12,723 --> 00:18:15,603
DRILLING & BANGING

314
00:18:17,123 --> 00:18:19,123
DRILLING

315
00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:25,603
Everything all right?

316
00:18:25,923 --> 00:18:28,043
Oh, yes, thank you, Mrs K.

317
00:18:28,043 --> 00:18:31,763
Give us a shout
if you need anything.

318
00:18:31,763 --> 00:18:37,763
Anything at all.

319
00:18:33,403 --> 00:18:37,763
OK, then.

320
00:18:34,763 --> 00:18:37,763
I'm an approachable landlady.

321
00:18:43,323 --> 00:18:46,523
That's great.

322
00:18:44,483 --> 00:18:46,523
So anything you want,...

323
00:18:46,803 --> 00:18:48,803
just ask.

324
00:18:49,723 --> 00:18:51,963
Is there a key to this lock?

325
00:18:53,563 --> 00:18:55,563
Hello, Brian.

326
00:18:59,283 --> 00:19:01,683
Aren't you gonna invite me in?

327
00:19:02,283 --> 00:19:06,083
Bit busy.

328
00:19:04,003 --> 00:19:06,083
Doing what?

329
00:19:08,723 --> 00:19:11,723
Nice to see you've tidied up a bit.

330
00:19:14,363 --> 00:19:19,683
Thanks.

331
00:19:15,603 --> 00:19:19,683
Daisy was telling me
you're feeling a little dry.

332
00:19:19,923 --> 00:19:23,163
Everything OK?

333
00:19:20,963 --> 00:19:23,163
Mm.

334
00:19:23,683 --> 00:19:25,683
Yeah? >

335
00:19:25,683 --> 00:19:30,483
Can't seem to get inspired.
It used to come so easily.

336
00:19:31,283 --> 00:19:33,963
Thought I'd cracked it this morning.

337
00:19:33,963 --> 00:19:38,723
Got a letter saying Uncle Kevin
had died, couldn't stop painting.

338
00:19:38,723 --> 00:19:42,403
Twist called and... lost it.
Just went.

339
00:19:42,603 --> 00:19:45,283
You know what your problem is?

340
00:19:46,923 --> 00:19:48,923
What?

341
00:19:48,923 --> 00:19:51,403
You're happy.

342
00:19:51,403 --> 00:19:56,403
I think you'll find you dried up
the minute you started seeing Twit.

343
00:19:58,523 --> 00:20:01,603
Do you think so?

344
00:19:59,243 --> 00:20:01,603
It's obvious, innit? >

345
00:20:01,803 --> 00:20:05,203
You cannot have your cake
and eat her, Brian.

346
00:20:05,603 --> 00:20:09,563
Contentment
is the enemy of invention.

347
00:20:09,563 --> 00:20:11,563
Oh, my God.

348
00:20:12,163 --> 00:20:14,243
Funny, innit?

349
00:20:14,723 --> 00:20:18,563
You were so prolific
when we was at it.

350
00:20:19,563 --> 00:20:22,923
This is awful.

351
00:20:20,323 --> 00:20:22,923
Innit? What a dilemma.

352
00:20:23,323 --> 00:20:27,923
I can't believe this!

353
00:20:24,883 --> 00:20:27,923
It's so depressing, Brian.

354
00:20:28,443 --> 00:20:31,403
You must be really worried.

355
00:20:32,203 --> 00:20:36,323
Yes!

356
00:20:33,203 --> 00:20:36,323
Angst-ridden.

357
00:20:36,323 --> 00:20:39,083
Inconsolable.

358
00:20:43,243 --> 00:20:45,443
Right, I'm off.

359
00:20:45,923 --> 00:20:51,963
Mike's cooking beans,
then we're gonna polish his guns
and watch the A-Team. Bye.

360
00:20:53,563 --> 00:20:55,723
(WAILS)

361
00:21:02,683 --> 00:21:06,083
I love it
when a plan comes together.

362
00:21:16,603 --> 00:21:18,763
Hello, Silent Reading.

363
00:21:19,243 --> 00:21:22,643
Yes, we do stock
Jar Jar Binks merchandise.

364
00:21:22,643 --> 00:21:26,283
Cuddly form, lunch box,
action figure and key ring.

365
00:21:26,483 --> 00:21:28,923
No problem. Bye-bye.

366
00:21:30,563 --> 00:21:35,603
Well done, Tim. You've just taken
your first step into a larger world.

367
00:21:35,603 --> 00:21:37,603
All right, Derek.

368
00:21:39,883 --> 00:21:44,643
Bilbo.

369
00:21:40,883 --> 00:21:44,643
I was wondering
if I could have a chat with Tim?

370
00:21:45,363 --> 00:21:47,803
Certainly. I'll put some tea on.

371
00:21:48,003 --> 00:21:51,563
Do you want a cup, Tim?

372
00:21:53,923 --> 00:21:58,763
Huh! He should mount his collector's
editions behind the counter,

373
00:21:58,763 --> 00:22:01,643
not hide them away at the back.

374
00:22:01,843 --> 00:22:04,243
What do you want to talk about?

375
00:22:04,723 --> 00:22:08,563
So, how's it going?

376
00:22:06,283 --> 00:22:08,563
Yeah, it's all right.

377
00:22:08,563 --> 00:22:10,963
What's... Derek like as a boss?

378
00:22:10,963 --> 00:22:15,563
He's OK. I don't agree with
his policy on vintage comic display.

379
00:22:17,163 --> 00:22:20,803
Look, Tim, I'm sorry I sacked you,
it was a mistake.

380
00:22:20,803 --> 00:22:24,723
Things not working out
with the new guy?

381
00:22:22,723 --> 00:22:24,723
You could say that.

382
00:22:24,723 --> 00:22:27,723
Hawk the Slayer's rubbish.

383
00:22:28,643 --> 00:22:34,803
I see.

384
00:22:29,883 --> 00:22:34,803
Will you come back?

385
00:22:31,203 --> 00:22:34,803
I like it here. Why do you think
I wanna come back?

386
00:22:36,043 --> 00:22:38,043
This.

387
00:22:38,043 --> 00:22:40,363
"(SOBBING) Bilbo, this is Tim."

388
00:22:40,363 --> 00:22:44,643
"Please can I come back?
I don't like it here."

389
00:22:45,363 --> 00:22:50,843
You got that, did you?

390
00:22:46,603 --> 00:22:50,843
I would have come in anyway.
It's not the same without you.

391
00:22:52,683 --> 00:22:54,683
I'm already there.

392
00:22:56,603 --> 00:22:59,403
I mean, I'll come back.

393
00:22:59,403 --> 00:23:02,843
Oh! Yeah.
You frightened me for a bit.

394
00:23:03,443 --> 00:23:07,523
I'll have to give my notice here.

395
00:23:05,043 --> 00:23:07,523
Can't you just get fired?

396
00:23:09,123 --> 00:23:11,283
Derek?

397
00:23:11,483 --> 00:23:16,803
Babylon 5's a big pile of shit!

398
00:23:13,323 --> 00:23:16,803
Get out!

399
00:23:14,803 --> 00:23:16,803
(BOTH CHEER)

400
00:23:20,243 --> 00:23:22,243
Hey-hey!

401
00:23:24,323 --> 00:23:26,323
WHISTLE

402
00:23:29,523 --> 00:23:32,923
I got me job back.

403
00:23:30,803 --> 00:23:32,923
BOTH: Hey!

404
00:23:32,923 --> 00:23:35,843
I got me own room.

405
00:23:35,843 --> 00:23:41,283
How's Brian doing?

406
00:23:36,763 --> 00:23:41,283
He's standing in the garden
with no clothes on.

407
00:23:41,283 --> 00:23:44,043
What about Daisy?

408
00:23:42,003 --> 00:23:44,043
She got a job in a book shop.

409
00:23:44,043 --> 00:23:47,163
D'you think she'll be all right?

410
00:23:45,003 --> 00:23:47,163
Erm... yeah.

411
00:24:05,843 --> 00:24:10,883
Excuse me. Can you point me in the
right direction of personal growth?

412
00:24:10,883 --> 00:24:12,883
Fuck you.

413
00:24:19,763 --> 00:24:21,763
'S'il vous plait.'