Why ? I don't understand. Is it something I've done ?
It's just not going to work. OK ?
It's five years ! Five years !
I was drunk.
We had fun. We had good times.
To be honest, I don't remember much.
I don't under... Give me a reason.
You think I'm unemotional. I can be emotional.
I cried at the end of Terminator 2. With the thumb and the molten...
Is there someone else ?
Sort of.
What ?!
My boyfriend.
That bastard ! I bloody knew it.
I'm sorry. I really am. It was just a bit of fun.
Just doesn't feel right. OK ?
Fine.
All right ?
Here's a bit of change.
Sarah, please don't do this.
Leave your stuff until you find somewhere.
I love you.
(ECHOING) 'The weekend starts here.'
Excuse me. Mind if I sit here ?
Er, no.
Thanks.
What you looking for ?
What have you got ?
Hm ?
No, what are you looking for ?
Sorry. Thought you were a drug dealer.
Oh, thanks.
That's all right. I'm flat-hunting.
Oh, right.
Yeah.
I'm staying with mates, not really mates, people I met in a squat,...
..I moved in with them, which was fine... Are you really interested ?
Anyway, there was this guy and...
..I didn't really know, well, really what happened was, the thing is,...
..rather confront, I thought...
Skip to the end.
So I'm moving out.
I hate flat-hunting.
I do not envy you at all.
Could I borrow that after you ?
Mind if I sit here ?
No.
Any luck ?
No. It's early days yet. So...
DEBORAH KERR: # Getting to know you, getting to know all about you
# Getting to like you, getting to hope you like me... #
Hi.
Hi. How's it going ?
Same as always.
That bad, huh ?
# Getting To Know You INSTRUMENTAL CONTINUES
(SOBBING) I can't do this any more.
Whoa, there, Pickle.
Every morning it's the same, I buy the paper and I circle them all and I phone them,...
..only to discover they've been taken by a bunch of fucking psychics
You've only looked at a few.
They've all been infested rat holes.
I'm in the same boat. You don't see me crying.
(BOTH SOB UNAPPEALINGLY)
Hang on. Didn't see that one.
"Spacious 2-bedroom apartment, fully furnished, £90 a week."
"Professional couple only."
(SOBBING) Why ? Why ? Why ?!
You could always pretend.
What do you mean ?
Got any homeless male friends ?
(CLEARS THROAT) Well, I do have one homeless male friend.
(STRANGLED CHUCKLE)
Who ?
'You were born in Highgate to John and Julia Bisley, 17 September 1974'
Your sister Katy used your Batman comics to decorate her cardboard car
You drove the car into the pond, hitting your head on the fountain, thus getting your scar.
Your best friend Mike is a weapons expert.
MIAOW
Yes !
Er, yeah.
You have a potentially fatal allergy to Brazil nuts.
Yes, I have no memory of Christmas 1979. Or Christmas 1994 either.
Why not ?
I don't know.
You're an aspiring graphic artist hoping to work for Dark Star Comics.
You did a sleeve for your sister's boyfriend's brother's band.
You supplement that £50 by working part time in a comic shop called Fantasy Bazaar.
I'm the assistant manager.
How many people work for you ?
It's just me and Bilbo.
'Who's Bilbo ?'
'He's the manager.'
You're not a sci-fi nerd ?
Discussing The X-Files on the Internet ?
The speculations of contemporary authors were probably never closer to the truth.
DERISIVE LAUGHTER
Your preferred transport is skateboarding.
'You masturbate over Gillian Anderson.'
Who told you that ?
It was a joke.
FHM voted her Most Sexy Woman in 1996
What about you ? I wasn't placed.
You split with your girlfriend, who got off with your friend Dwayne.
He's not my friend.
We don't need to talk about that. It obviously hit you hard.
You prefer a tight-legged cotton pant to the boxer.
Is this necessary ?
What if we're asked intimate questions ? We're a couple. Do me.
'OK. You were born in Richmond in 1975 to Ben and Emily Steiner.'
You have a brother and sister, older and younger.
You graduated from Kingston Poly...
University.
Whatever, in 1996 with a degree in Humanities - a Third.
It's what I expected. Michelle from EastEnders got a Third.
It's not the grade that matters, it's being there.
Your boyfriend Richard is studying in hell.
Hull.
You want to be a journalist, but you haven't tried that yet.
Your best friend's called Twist and she works in fashion.
You've got no skincare routine.
You're scared of mice and spiders but oh so much greater is your fear they will crossbreed...
..to form mice-spiders, immobilising humans in giant webs to steal cheese.
I never said that.
That'd be good though.
That's it.
By the way, my name's Daisy.
All right, I'm Tim, hi.
Hey ! What's that for ?
In that film with Andie MacDowell and Gerard Depardieu, they get married so he gets a US work