1 00:00:03,917 --> 00:00:06,127 CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP 2 00:00:06,208 --> 00:00:09,078 AND U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION 3 00:00:29,542 --> 00:00:31,502 BRRRRRR, YEAH! 4 00:00:42,542 --> 00:00:46,002 DOES YOUR LIFE STINK LIKE THIS GUY'S? 5 00:00:46,083 --> 00:00:47,793 [GROANING] 6 00:00:47,875 --> 00:00:50,785 Eddy: NOT WITH THIS THING-A-MA-JIG. 7 00:00:56,042 --> 00:00:57,922 STUPEFYING, ISN'T IT? 8 00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:01,790 BUT THAT AIN'T ALL THE THING-A-MA-JIG CAN DO! 9 00:01:02,667 --> 00:01:04,287 THERE'S MORE? 10 00:01:05,500 --> 00:01:06,830 A LOT MORE. 11 00:01:06,917 --> 00:01:08,827 AVERAGE JOE? 12 00:01:13,125 --> 00:01:15,205 I HAVE NOWHERE TO SIT! 13 00:01:15,042 --> 00:01:16,542 NO PROBLEMO, JOE. 14 00:01:16,625 --> 00:01:20,575 THE THING-A-MA-JIG HERE IS THE ONLY THING YOU'LL EVER NEED! 15 00:01:27,333 --> 00:01:30,083 NO PROBLEMO! 16 00:01:30,167 --> 00:01:33,377 LIFE. 17 00:01:33,458 --> 00:01:36,628 ME SO FAST, MISTER! 18 00:01:36,708 --> 00:01:40,538 WHAT'S THIS GONNA COST US HARD-WORKING STIFFS? 19 00:01:42,417 --> 00:01:44,627 YEAH. I BET IT COSTS A LOT! 20 00:01:44,708 --> 00:01:48,538 A TECHNO-MARVEL LIKE THIS COULD COST YOU UP TO A MILLION BUCKS, 21 00:01:48,625 --> 00:01:49,825 BUT FOR THE NEXT 5 MINUTES, 22 00:01:49,917 --> 00:01:54,167 YOU CAN HAVE IT FOR ONE EASY PAYMENT OF 25 CENTS! 23 00:01:57,375 --> 00:02:00,535 ROLF'S YAMS INFLATE WITH GLEE AT THIS THING-A-MA-JIG! 24 00:02:00,625 --> 00:02:02,075 Sarah: LET'S GO TRY IT, JIMMY. 25 00:02:02,167 --> 00:02:05,787 GEE WHILLIKERS, SARAH, THIS THING-A-MA-JIG ROCKS MY SOCKS! 26 00:02:05,875 --> 00:02:07,285 HMM. 27 00:02:07,375 --> 00:02:10,125 GENTLEMEN, I DISTINCTLY REMEMBER ASSEMBLING ONLY ONE THING-A-MA-JIG. 28 00:02:10,208 --> 00:02:16,078 HOW COULD WE SELL MORE THAN ONE THING-A-MA-JIG WHEN ONLY ONE EXISTS? 29 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:28,170 EDDY, HOW COULD YOU? 30 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:30,130 YOU FALSELY SWINDLED THOSE UNSUSPECTING CHILDREN 31 00:02:30,208 --> 00:02:31,328 OUT OF THEIR ALLOWANCES! 32 00:02:31,417 --> 00:02:34,287 OH, I KNOW THAT'S WHAT WE DO IN EVERY SHOW, 33 00:02:34,375 --> 00:02:35,535 BUT NOT LIKE THIS. 34 00:02:35,625 --> 00:02:39,075 DOUBLE-DIPPING WITHIN ONE DECEPTION IS WRONG! 35 00:02:39,167 --> 00:02:41,917 LET'S GO BUY SOME JAWBREAKERS. 36 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:44,880 ARE YOU GOING TO FINISH THAT? 37 00:02:44,958 --> 00:02:47,828 [EDDY AND ED LAUGHING] 38 00:02:47,917 --> 00:02:49,747 Ed: RUNNING! 39 00:02:53,917 --> 00:02:56,457 [EDDY LAUGHING] 40 00:03:00,750 --> 00:03:04,170 OH, LOOK UP IN THE SKY! 41 00:03:05,167 --> 00:03:06,827 IS THAT A BIRD? 42 00:03:06,917 --> 00:03:08,207 Ed: COULD BE A PLANE! 43 00:03:08,042 --> 00:03:10,832 WHAT BIRD? DOES IT HAVE A QUARTER IN ITS MOUTH? 44 00:03:10,917 --> 00:03:14,077 'CAUSE IF I GET MY HANDS ON IT, I'LL-- 45 00:03:17,375 --> 00:03:19,875 OH, MY ACHING-- 46 00:03:22,750 --> 00:03:24,790 HOLY COW! 47 00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:32,208 HEY, GET BACK HERE WITH MY MONEY! 48 00:03:33,375 --> 00:03:34,455 ACORNS? 49 00:03:34,542 --> 00:03:35,882 Ed: DID YOU SEE THAT? 50 00:03:35,958 --> 00:03:40,208 HE JUST SWOOPED IN AND POW! RIGHT IN YOUR KISSER, EDDY! 51 00:03:40,292 --> 00:03:44,632 I BET HE'S GOT, LIKE, MUTANT POWER FEET OR SOMETHING! 52 00:03:44,708 --> 00:03:46,128 HE STOLE MY CASH! 53 00:03:46,208 --> 00:03:49,918 I WONDER WHO THIS MYSTERIOUS MARAUDER COULD BE? 54 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:52,500 IT SEEMS ODD THAT HE'D APPEAR OUT OF NOWHERE 55 00:03:52,583 --> 00:03:54,293 JUST IN THE NICK OF TIME. 56 00:03:54,375 --> 00:03:56,455 OH, I KNOW WHO IT IS! 57 00:03:56,542 --> 00:03:58,172 [OWL HOOTING] 58 00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:01,040 OK, SO I DON'T KNOW. 59 00:04:01,375 --> 00:04:02,245 Sarah: AWW! 60 00:04:02,333 --> 00:04:03,133 SARAH! SARAH! 61 00:04:03,208 --> 00:04:04,998 MY BOX HAS NO THING-A-MA-JIG! 62 00:04:05,083 --> 00:04:06,963 MINE WAS FULL OF BRICKS, JIMMY. 63 00:04:07,042 --> 00:04:09,002 I'VE BEEN FOIST UPON, SARAH. 64 00:04:09,083 --> 00:04:10,673 WAAH! 65 00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:14,170 ROLF WILL TEACH THOSE RIFFRAFF ED BOYS WITH HIS FOOT UP THEIR-- 66 00:04:14,583 --> 00:04:16,253 Voice: YOUR MONEY IS SAFE AND SOUND, 67 00:04:16,333 --> 00:04:18,133 GOOD CITIZENS OF THE CUL-DE-SAC. 68 00:04:18,208 --> 00:04:20,828 RIPOFFS ARE A THING OF THE PAST, 69 00:04:20,917 --> 00:04:22,537 FOR I, CAPTAIN MELONHEAD, 70 00:04:22,625 --> 00:04:28,035 AND SPLINTER THE WONDERWOOD WILL PROTECT YOU! 71 00:04:29,583 --> 00:04:31,173 IS THE CIRCUS IN TOWN? 72 00:04:31,250 --> 00:04:33,500 THAT GUY SAVED OUR MONEY! 73 00:04:33,583 --> 00:04:36,173 WHO WAS THAT MASKED MARVEL? 74 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:37,000 Edd: WHOMEVER IT WAS 75 00:04:37,083 --> 00:04:39,503 SEEMS TO HAVE A COMPLEX PERSONALITY. 76 00:04:39,583 --> 00:04:40,833 REALLY! ACORNS? 77 00:04:40,917 --> 00:04:44,417 WE GOTTA FIND THIS GUY AND GET MY MONEY! 78 00:04:44,500 --> 00:04:46,040 Sarah: SUCKERS! 79 00:04:46,125 --> 00:04:48,745 [KIDS LAUGHING] 80 00:04:48,833 --> 00:04:52,633 Rolf: NO MORE THE MR. SMART GUY, HUH, ED BOYS? 81 00:04:52,708 --> 00:04:56,498 I BELIEVE THIS BELONGS TO YOU. 82 00:04:56,583 --> 00:04:57,543 HEH HEH HEH! 83 00:04:57,625 --> 00:05:00,455 FREE! WE'RE FREE AT LAST! 84 00:05:03,583 --> 00:05:06,043 THAT GUY GAVE THEM BACK THEIR MONEY! 85 00:05:06,125 --> 00:05:07,035 Ed: OH, BOY! 86 00:05:07,125 --> 00:05:10,035 HE MUST BE SOME COMIC BOOK HERO GUY! 87 00:05:10,125 --> 00:05:11,035 [GIGGLING] 88 00:05:11,125 --> 00:05:12,205 COMIC BOOKS? REALLY, ED. 89 00:05:12,292 --> 00:05:15,582 WHAT WE HAVE HERE IS A CAREFREE, UPSTANDING YOUNG MAN 90 00:05:15,667 --> 00:05:17,997 WHO'S SIMPLY TRYING TO DO THE RIGHT THING. 91 00:05:18,083 --> 00:05:19,833 WHY, I APPLAUD HIS-- 92 00:05:19,917 --> 00:05:21,497 Eddy: OH, YEAH? 93 00:05:22,208 --> 00:05:24,038 THIS PLACE AIN'T BIG ENOUGH FOR THE TWO OF US. 94 00:05:24,125 --> 00:05:27,205 I WILL HAVE MY DAY, SCAM WRECKER-UPPER! 95 00:05:27,292 --> 00:05:29,632 [CACKLING] 96 00:05:34,125 --> 00:05:36,165 [BIRDS CAWING] 97 00:05:36,708 --> 00:05:38,288 Edd: HOW EMBARRASSING. 98 00:05:38,375 --> 00:05:40,415 OK, NOW, SAY IT. DO IT! COME ON! 99 00:05:40,500 --> 00:05:43,750 AHEM. UM, I WOULD LIKE TO PURCHASE 100 00:05:43,833 --> 00:05:45,923 ONE OF YOUR BUTTS, IF I MAY. 101 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:47,920 PLEASE TAKE MY HARD-EARNED MONEY. 102 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:51,210 YOU GOT IT, SUCKER-- I MEAN, CUSTOMER. 103 00:05:51,292 --> 00:05:53,382 HERE'S YOUR BRAND-NEW BUTT! 104 00:05:53,458 --> 00:05:54,378 OH, HAPPY DAY! 105 00:05:54,458 --> 00:05:56,538 THANK YOU, DISHONEST STORE CLERK. 106 00:05:56,625 --> 00:05:59,785 I WILL GO AND USE MY BUTT NOW. 107 00:06:00,792 --> 00:06:05,132 HEY, HOLD YOUR HORSES! 108 00:06:06,208 --> 00:06:07,628 THIS BUTT'S BEEN USED! 109 00:06:07,708 --> 00:06:09,708 HA HA! YOU'VE BEEN FOOLED. 110 00:06:09,792 --> 00:06:12,882 I HAVE RIPPED OFF THE INNOCENT YET AGAIN! 111 00:06:12,958 --> 00:06:15,168 [WHISPERING] Keep an eye out, Ed. 112 00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:16,960 OH, BOY, OH, BOY, OH, BOY, 113 00:06:17,042 --> 00:06:19,542 OH, BOY, OH, BOY--HUH? 114 00:06:19,625 --> 00:06:21,375 I SEE HIM, EDDY! 115 00:06:24,292 --> 00:06:25,462 RIGHT ON TIME. 116 00:06:25,542 --> 00:06:29,542 SHED A TEAR, 'CAUSE CAPTAIN MELONHEAD IS HERE! 117 00:06:29,625 --> 00:06:32,125 WAH HA HA HA! 118 00:06:34,958 --> 00:06:35,788 HA HA HA! 119 00:06:35,875 --> 00:06:38,955 YOU'VE MET YOUR MATCH, MELONHEAD. 120 00:06:39,042 --> 00:06:43,672 PREPARE YOURSELF FOR PROFESSOR SCAM! 121 00:06:43,750 --> 00:06:45,540 HA HA HA! 122 00:06:45,625 --> 00:06:48,165 THE EVILDOER HAS ARRIVED! 123 00:06:48,250 --> 00:06:50,040 HE'S LOST IT, HONESTLY. 124 00:06:50,125 --> 00:06:53,875 UNHAND THAT MONEY, PROFESSOR SCAM! 125 00:06:53,958 --> 00:06:56,168 NEVER. HI-YA! 126 00:06:56,250 --> 00:07:00,460 I WILL NOW MAKE MY ESCAPE IN MY BAD-TO-THE-BONE, 127 00:07:00,542 --> 00:07:04,962 MEANER-THAN-A-JUNKYARD-DOG PROFESSOR SCAM FLIER! 128 00:07:05,042 --> 00:07:08,752 HA HA HA! 129 00:07:08,833 --> 00:07:10,383 OOPS. 130 00:07:10,458 --> 00:07:12,248 OOH! OOH! 131 00:07:12,333 --> 00:07:14,543 [WHISTLING] 132 00:07:17,208 --> 00:07:19,918 IT'S MELON TIME! 133 00:07:20,458 --> 00:07:23,168 LOOK OUT FOR THOSE FEET, EDDY! 134 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:25,080 HA HA HA! 135 00:07:28,833 --> 00:07:31,463 YAAAAHHHH! 136 00:07:31,542 --> 00:07:32,502 OOF! 137 00:07:32,583 --> 00:07:33,753 OH, NO. DOUBLE D! 138 00:07:33,833 --> 00:07:38,133 PROFESSOR SCAM HAS UNMASKED CAPTAIN MELONHEAD! 139 00:07:40,208 --> 00:07:41,708 YOU'RE THROUGH, MELONHEAD. 140 00:07:41,792 --> 00:07:44,212 REVEAL YOURSELF! 141 00:07:44,042 --> 00:07:48,832 THERE'S TWO HALVES TO EVERY MELON, PROFESSOR SCAM. 142 00:07:48,917 --> 00:07:50,037 THAT WAS CLEVER. 143 00:07:50,125 --> 00:07:51,165 OH, YEAH? 144 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:54,380 WELL, MY RAY OF RICHES WILL CURL YOUR TOES! 145 00:07:57,167 --> 00:07:59,077 THINK FAST, MELONHEAD. 146 00:08:00,250 --> 00:08:03,210 THE RAY OF RICHES WILL NEVER PENETRATE 147 00:08:03,292 --> 00:08:06,382 THE FORCE PEEL OF MELON. 148 00:08:21,583 --> 00:08:24,333 HAD ENOUGH, MELONHE-- 149 00:08:24,417 --> 00:08:26,247 UNH! 150 00:08:26,333 --> 00:08:29,133 [LOUD RUMBLING] 151 00:08:35,042 --> 00:08:36,792 AAH! 152 00:08:44,417 --> 00:08:47,497 OH! HUH? 153 00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:50,130 HI-YA! 154 00:08:50,208 --> 00:08:51,168 FREEZE, MELONHEAD, 155 00:08:51,250 --> 00:08:54,710 OR THE SIDEKICK SWELLS UP LIKE A BALLOON. 156 00:08:56,167 --> 00:08:57,997 Melonhead: SPLINTER! 157 00:08:58,083 --> 00:09:01,543 THIS IS BETWEEN ME AND YOU, PROFESSOR SCAM. 158 00:09:01,625 --> 00:09:04,205 GIVE ME AN EXCUSE. 159 00:09:04,292 --> 00:09:05,582 NO! 160 00:09:05,667 --> 00:09:09,377 WAIT! TAKE ME! I'M THE ONE YOU WANT. 161 00:09:09,458 --> 00:09:13,208 I SURRENDER, PROFESSOR SCAM. 162 00:09:20,250 --> 00:09:22,630 BUT, EDDY, NOT MY GRAVY! 163 00:09:22,708 --> 00:09:23,958 SILENCE, HENCHMEN! 164 00:09:24,042 --> 00:09:27,292 OH, COME ON, EDDY. HAVEN'T YOU MILKED THIS ENOUGH? 165 00:09:27,375 --> 00:09:28,495 LOOK AT ME! 166 00:09:28,583 --> 00:09:30,583 WILL YOU GUYS JUST LAUGH LIKE EVIL HENCHMEN, 167 00:09:30,667 --> 00:09:32,457 FOR PETE'S SAKE? 168 00:09:34,958 --> 00:09:39,038 TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT YOUR TOMB OF DOOM, MELONHEAD. 169 00:09:39,125 --> 00:09:40,125 HA HA HA HA! 170 00:09:40,208 --> 00:09:44,288 LOOK! OUR HERO DANGLES LIKE VICTOR'S MILK SPOUTS! 171 00:09:44,375 --> 00:09:47,075 VICTOR'S GOT MILK SPOUTS? 172 00:09:47,167 --> 00:09:49,997 YOUR GRAVY GRAVE AWAITS! 173 00:09:50,083 --> 00:09:51,753 HE'S DEAD! 174 00:09:51,833 --> 00:09:54,253 MY GRAVY, DOUBLE D! 175 00:09:54,333 --> 00:09:57,633 WHOA! OH! 176 00:09:57,708 --> 00:09:59,748 HA HA HA HA! 177 00:09:59,833 --> 00:10:02,543 Ed: RELEASE THE GRAVY! 178 00:10:02,625 --> 00:10:05,665 'CAUSE I, AVERAGE JOE, SAYS SO! 179 00:10:10,625 --> 00:10:12,165 ED! 180 00:10:13,833 --> 00:10:16,173 LEAVE A MARK, MELON DUDE! 181 00:10:16,250 --> 00:10:18,000 Eddy: I GIVE! I GIVE! 182 00:10:18,083 --> 00:10:19,423 OUCH! OWW! OUCH! 183 00:10:19,500 --> 00:10:23,380 MY GRAVY IS SAFE TO FERMENT ANOTHER DAY, DOUBLE D. 184 00:10:23,458 --> 00:10:27,038 THANK YOU FOR SHARING THAT INFORMATION, ED. 185 00:10:32,208 --> 00:10:34,788 [EDDY SCREAMING] 186 00:10:38,667 --> 00:10:40,037 Eddy: OH, YEAH? 187 00:10:40,125 --> 00:10:43,125 WELL, DON'T COUNT YOUR SEEDS BEFORE THEY HATCH, MELONHEAD, 188 00:10:43,208 --> 00:10:46,578 FOR LIKE A BEAN BURRITO, I SHALL RETURN! 189 00:10:46,667 --> 00:10:48,167 HENCHMEN, TO THE SCAM FORTRESS! 190 00:10:48,250 --> 00:10:53,380 IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES TILL SOMEONE GETS A SPLINTER. 191 00:10:55,750 --> 00:10:58,670 [EDDY LAUGHING] 192 00:10:59,833 --> 00:11:01,173 CITIZENS OF THE CUL-DE-SAC, 193 00:11:01,250 --> 00:11:05,000 PROFESSOR SCAM WILL NO LONGER THREATEN YOUR WEEKLY ALLOWANCES, 194 00:11:05,083 --> 00:11:08,583 AS I, CAPTAIN MELONHEAD, AND SPLINTER THE WONDERWOOD 195 00:11:08,667 --> 00:11:10,997 WILL ALWAYS FIGHT FOR JUSTICE AND THE-- 196 00:11:11,083 --> 00:11:12,253 GIVE IT A REST, JONNY. 197 00:11:12,333 --> 00:11:15,293 Sarah: YEAH, WE ALREADY HEARD IT. 198 00:11:16,208 --> 00:11:17,878 TOODLE-OO, CAPTAIN MELONHEAD! 199 00:11:17,958 --> 00:11:19,998 Rolf: WHAT A FINE HEAD OF PRODUCE HE HAS, YES? 200 00:11:20,083 --> 00:11:24,133 BACK TO THE MELONCAVE, WONDERWOOD. 201 00:11:24,833 --> 00:11:25,713 ANOTHER DAY--OW!-- 202 00:11:25,792 --> 00:11:29,082 AND ANOTHER DOUGHNUT, HUH, BUDDY? 203 00:11:41,167 --> 00:11:43,627 [LAUGHTER] 204 00:11:55,167 --> 00:11:58,247 KEVIN LOOKS LIKE HE'S READY TO BUST AN ARTERY. 205 00:11:58,333 --> 00:12:00,173 HA HA HA! 206 00:12:02,333 --> 00:12:04,923 HAVE A SODA, CURLY-LOCKS. 207 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:06,830 WE'RE CELEBRATING! 208 00:12:06,917 --> 00:12:08,787 I DON'T WANT ANY PART OF THIS. 209 00:12:08,875 --> 00:12:09,955 YOU'RE IN BIG TROUBLE, EDDY! 210 00:12:10,042 --> 00:12:11,752 OLD SHOVELTON CAN'T DO NOTHIN'. 211 00:12:11,833 --> 00:12:15,333 HE GOT GROUNDED TODAY. HA HA HA! 212 00:12:15,417 --> 00:12:18,457 A TOAST TO SHOVELTON! 213 00:12:18,542 --> 00:12:21,172 WITH LOTS OF BUTTER! 214 00:12:22,875 --> 00:12:24,665 AHH! 215 00:12:26,875 --> 00:12:28,575 A DAYTIME NAP CAN INVIGORATE, 216 00:12:28,667 --> 00:12:30,287 BUT NOTHING IS MORE GRATIFYING 217 00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:32,285 THAN A GOOD BOOK, JIMMY. 218 00:12:32,375 --> 00:12:33,535 [MOANING] 219 00:12:33,625 --> 00:12:34,785 Eddy: QUICK! DOUBLE D! 220 00:12:34,875 --> 00:12:37,325 YOU'RE NEVER GONNA BELIEVE THIS. KEVIN GOT-- 221 00:12:37,417 --> 00:12:39,207 RECYCLED BOOKS, EDDY! 222 00:12:39,042 --> 00:12:41,132 LOOK AT THIS PROFUSION OF KNOWLEDGE! 223 00:12:41,208 --> 00:12:44,168 THE LIBRARY WAS HAVING A SALE. HOW COULD I RESIST? 224 00:12:44,250 --> 00:12:45,210 LOOK AT THESE GEMS: 225 00:12:45,292 --> 00:12:48,632 NOCTURNAL BURROWING INSECTS... 226 00:12:48,708 --> 00:12:49,458 COOL! 227 00:12:49,542 --> 00:12:51,882 THE ENCHANTED SPLEEN... 228 00:12:51,958 --> 00:12:53,168 COMPELLING. 229 00:12:53,250 --> 00:12:55,670 SCORES OF SPORES... 230 00:12:55,750 --> 00:12:57,290 I CAN RELATE. 231 00:12:57,375 --> 00:12:59,165 101 LATIN PARTY JOKES. 232 00:12:59,250 --> 00:13:01,130 Ed: DO TELL! 233 00:13:02,917 --> 00:13:04,037 ARGH! 234 00:13:04,125 --> 00:13:08,825 THE ENCYCLOPEDIA OF OBSCURE DISEASES? 235 00:13:09,375 --> 00:13:12,035 THIS LOOKS EDIFYING. 236 00:13:13,417 --> 00:13:15,497 "THE LACKADAISY-CATHRO DISEASE." 237 00:13:15,583 --> 00:13:17,083 LISTEN TO THIS, ED. 238 00:13:17,167 --> 00:13:21,037 "SYMPTOMS INCLUDE THE RATIONALIZING OF MUNDANE CIRCUMSTANCES, 239 00:13:21,125 --> 00:13:26,165 HABITUAL CLEANLINESS, AND AN ABNORMAL FIXATION TO HEADWEAR." 240 00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:28,130 THAT SOUNDS RESEMBLING, 241 00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:31,038 'CAUSE IT SOUNDS LIKE, UH... 242 00:13:31,125 --> 00:13:34,455 IT SOUNDS LIKE SOCKHEAD, BONEHEAD! 243 00:13:36,375 --> 00:13:38,455 ME? REALLY? 244 00:13:38,542 --> 00:13:41,172 WHY, THAT'S JUST PLAIN SILLY. HA HA HA! 245 00:13:41,250 --> 00:13:42,580 I'LL GIVE YOU RATIONALIZING, 246 00:13:42,667 --> 00:13:45,577 BUT HABITUAL OR ABNORMAL FIXATION? 247 00:13:45,667 --> 00:13:47,247 PLEASE. 248 00:13:48,458 --> 00:13:50,458 DID YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID? 249 00:13:50,542 --> 00:13:52,252 KEVIN'S STUCK IN HIS ROOM. 250 00:13:52,333 --> 00:13:55,083 GROUNDED, I TELL YA! 251 00:13:57,667 --> 00:13:59,037 QUICK! HE'S HIDING! 252 00:13:59,125 --> 00:14:00,205 HA HA HA! 253 00:14:00,042 --> 00:14:01,922 [GROANS] 254 00:14:07,625 --> 00:14:08,665 [WHISTLE] 255 00:14:08,750 --> 00:14:11,500 [DOORBELL RINGING] 256 00:14:19,208 --> 00:14:22,918 AH, AH, AH. YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE OUTSIDE. 257 00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:24,920 YOU'VE BEEN GROUNDED! 258 00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:26,130 GRRRR! 259 00:14:26,208 --> 00:14:29,038 [EDDY LAUGHING] 260 00:14:34,250 --> 00:14:35,580 Ed's voice: HELLO, KEVIN. 261 00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:37,667 WHY ARE YOU SUCH A SAD SACK? 262 00:14:37,750 --> 00:14:40,330 'CAUSE HE HAS BEEN GROUNDED. 263 00:14:40,417 --> 00:14:41,827 OH, PARDON ME. 264 00:14:41,917 --> 00:14:43,997 [LAUGHING] 265 00:14:44,083 --> 00:14:46,963 I SHOULD BE IN SHOW BUSINESS. 266 00:14:49,042 --> 00:14:51,542 EDDY, DO I MUMBLE MY WORDS? 267 00:14:51,625 --> 00:14:52,625 HUH? YOU SAY SOMETHING? 268 00:14:52,708 --> 00:14:55,208 QUIT MUMBLING AND PUT THAT BOOK AWAY. 269 00:14:55,292 --> 00:14:56,792 [GASP] 270 00:14:56,875 --> 00:15:00,535 "OTHER SYMPTOMS INCLUDE WEAKNESS IN THE LOWER EXTREMITIES." 271 00:15:00,625 --> 00:15:02,325 HUH? 272 00:15:02,750 --> 00:15:09,210 EDDY, I THINK I HAVE LACKADAISY-CATHRO DISEASE! 273 00:15:12,875 --> 00:15:14,035 Eddy: GIVE IT UP, DOUBLE D. 274 00:15:14,125 --> 00:15:16,125 YOU'RE ABOUT AS SICK AS ED IS. 275 00:15:16,208 --> 00:15:20,038 Ed: HELLO, I'M STINKY... AND I'M CLEMMY! 276 00:15:20,125 --> 00:15:21,625 HA HA HA HA! 277 00:15:21,708 --> 00:15:22,878 BUT NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT, 278 00:15:22,958 --> 00:15:26,078 YOU DO LOOK KIND OF GREEN AROUND THE GILLS. 279 00:15:26,167 --> 00:15:30,287 Ed: HE DOES? WHAT A PITY. 280 00:15:30,375 --> 00:15:32,455 OH, I'M SO SICK. 281 00:15:32,542 --> 00:15:33,422 [MOANING] 282 00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:36,130 HEH HEH HEH! LET ME SEE THIS THING. 283 00:15:36,208 --> 00:15:40,418 YEP, THIS IS YOU ALL OVER, DOUBLE D. 284 00:15:40,500 --> 00:15:42,170 HA HA HA! HA HA HA! 285 00:15:42,250 --> 00:15:43,420 Eddy: IT SAYS HERE 286 00:15:43,500 --> 00:15:46,380 THERE'S SOME TESTS TO SEE HOW ADVANCED IT IS. 287 00:15:46,458 --> 00:15:47,328 TESTS? 288 00:15:47,417 --> 00:15:48,917 OF COURSE, TESTS! 289 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:52,630 MEDICAL SCIENCE WILL PROVIDE THE ANSWER. 290 00:15:55,917 --> 00:15:59,627 PAGING DR. ED. DR. ED. 291 00:16:00,333 --> 00:16:01,463 ONE MOMENT, PLEASE. 292 00:16:01,542 --> 00:16:04,172 I WILL BE RIGHT WITH YOU. 293 00:16:04,583 --> 00:16:06,173 I'M CONFUSED, EDDY. 294 00:16:06,250 --> 00:16:08,130 HOW IS ED QUALIFIED IN-- 295 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:09,830 SAY IT AIN'T SO, DOUBLE D! 296 00:16:09,917 --> 00:16:11,127 CONFUSED? 297 00:16:11,208 --> 00:16:14,078 THAT'S A SYMPTOM OF THAT LACKADAISY-CATHRO DISEASE! 298 00:16:14,167 --> 00:16:16,287 AAH! 299 00:16:16,375 --> 00:16:17,285 I'LL BE BACK. 300 00:16:17,375 --> 00:16:19,375 NICE SHORTS, ROMEO. 301 00:16:22,125 --> 00:16:24,995 PLEASE, REST YOUR BUTTOCKS. 302 00:16:35,875 --> 00:16:38,125 HA HA HA! 303 00:16:38,208 --> 00:16:40,168 Kevin: HEY! 304 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,000 HMM. 305 00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:45,083 AN EGGBEATER, ED? IS THAT PART OF THE-- 306 00:16:54,042 --> 00:16:56,132 WHAT IS IT? 307 00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:58,670 HMM. 308 00:16:58,750 --> 00:17:01,080 WHAT IS IT, ED? 309 00:17:01,167 --> 00:17:03,417 Ed: HMM. 310 00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:05,080 HUH? 311 00:17:12,167 --> 00:17:15,997 HMM. HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN A SIZE 2? 312 00:17:16,083 --> 00:17:17,133 SIZE 2? 313 00:17:17,208 --> 00:17:20,458 BUT I'VE ALWAYS WORN A SIZE 5 SHOE, DOCTOR. 314 00:17:20,542 --> 00:17:22,042 SOUNDS LIKE ANOTHER SYMPTOM TO ME. 315 00:17:22,125 --> 00:17:24,825 DID DR. ED GIVE YOU THE RUBBER GLOVE TREATMENT YET? 316 00:17:24,917 --> 00:17:30,707 OH, EDDY, THIS LACKADAISY-CATHRO DISEASE IS PROGRESSING RAPIDLY! 317 00:17:30,792 --> 00:17:32,832 I'M SO UNWELL. 318 00:17:32,917 --> 00:17:33,917 JEEZ LOUISE! 319 00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:36,960 HAS ANYBODY TRIED TO KICK YOU YET? 320 00:17:37,417 --> 00:17:38,747 NO. 321 00:17:38,833 --> 00:17:41,753 GOOD, 'CAUSE THAT'S THE FINAL SYMPTOM. 322 00:17:41,833 --> 00:17:43,583 YOU'RE IN THE CLEAR, BUDDY BOY. 323 00:17:43,667 --> 00:17:46,877 WHY, I FEEL BETTER ALREADY. 324 00:17:46,958 --> 00:17:49,378 THANK YOU, DR. ED. 325 00:17:50,792 --> 00:17:51,672 OH, NO! 326 00:17:51,750 --> 00:17:53,040 I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T HAVE 327 00:17:53,125 --> 00:17:54,205 THAT LAST SYMPTOM, DOUBLE D. 328 00:17:54,292 --> 00:17:56,042 YOU GOTTA FIGHT THIS, MAN! 329 00:17:56,125 --> 00:17:59,035 DOCTOR, PLEASE, DO SOMETHING. 330 00:18:00,833 --> 00:18:01,883 NEXT! 331 00:18:01,958 --> 00:18:03,078 Edd: WAIT! 332 00:18:03,167 --> 00:18:04,077 [GROANING] 333 00:18:04,167 --> 00:18:05,997 TELL ME THE TRUTH, DOCTOR. 334 00:18:06,083 --> 00:18:09,793 HOW LONG AM I FOR THIS WORLD? 335 00:18:09,875 --> 00:18:10,625 HUH? 336 00:18:10,708 --> 00:18:13,788 UM... TILL LUNCH? 337 00:18:16,875 --> 00:18:19,875 HERE. QUICK, WRITE. HURRY, DOUBLE D! 338 00:18:19,958 --> 00:18:23,788 A POEM ON THE BEAUTY OF LIFE AS I KNOW IT? 339 00:18:23,875 --> 00:18:27,035 NO, YOUR WILL. 340 00:18:27,125 --> 00:18:29,825 LEAVE ME SOMETHING NICE. 341 00:18:29,917 --> 00:18:30,627 Ed: OH! OH! 342 00:18:30,708 --> 00:18:32,378 AND I WILL TAKE YOUR HAT, 343 00:18:32,458 --> 00:18:34,498 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 344 00:18:35,625 --> 00:18:39,705 OH, DOUBLE D, I KNEW THEE WELL. 345 00:18:39,792 --> 00:18:42,042 [SOBBING] 346 00:18:42,125 --> 00:18:44,165 HA HA HA! [CRYING] 347 00:18:44,250 --> 00:18:46,080 POOR DOUBLE D. 348 00:18:46,167 --> 00:18:49,167 DOUBLE D AIN'T REALLY SICK, LUMMOX, REMEMBER? 349 00:18:49,250 --> 00:18:52,080 THAT'S SOME GOOD TV RIGHT THERE. 350 00:18:52,167 --> 00:18:55,377 NOW, BACK TO OUR CAGED RAT. 351 00:18:55,458 --> 00:18:59,708 HEY, JUGHEAD! OVER HERE! 352 00:19:00,125 --> 00:19:01,035 Ed: WHOA HO HO! 353 00:19:01,125 --> 00:19:04,415 I AM TURNING INTO A WEREWOLF, EDDY! 354 00:19:08,250 --> 00:19:10,130 [LAUGHTER AND INDISTINCT CHATTER] 355 00:19:10,208 --> 00:19:11,918 MY BELOVED PEER GROUP. 356 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:15,460 EDD BOY, WHY DOES YOUR FACE SAG LOWER THAN NANA'S INNER THIGHS? 357 00:19:15,542 --> 00:19:19,922 COME! JOIN US FOR BEACH MERRIMENT AND EGGPLANT ANTIPASTO. 358 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:21,290 DEAR ROLF, 359 00:19:21,375 --> 00:19:26,455 ALWAYS GIVING, THOUGHTFUL... 360 00:19:26,542 --> 00:19:30,672 THAT'S WHY I WANT YOU TO HAVE THIS. 361 00:19:30,750 --> 00:19:31,710 A PEANUT SMASHER? 362 00:19:31,792 --> 00:19:36,542 OH, ROLF, YOU'RE SO UNEDUCATED. 363 00:19:36,625 --> 00:19:39,785 GLOOMY GUS IS RIGHT, BUDDY. 364 00:19:39,875 --> 00:19:42,455 JONNY, IS THAT YOU? 365 00:19:42,542 --> 00:19:47,252 I'D LIKE TO BEQUEATH TO YOU MY REMOTE CONTROL. 366 00:19:47,333 --> 00:19:48,423 FAR OUT! 367 00:19:48,500 --> 00:19:51,580 DOUBLE D, ARE YOU, LIKE, GOING SOMEWHERE? 368 00:19:51,667 --> 00:19:53,747 NAZZ, NAZZ, NAZZ... 369 00:19:53,833 --> 00:19:57,633 SO MANY THINGS LEFT UNSAID. 370 00:19:57,708 --> 00:19:58,628 REALLY? 371 00:19:58,708 --> 00:20:01,128 LIKE WHAT, DOUBLE D? 372 00:20:02,458 --> 00:20:04,788 [SOBBING] 373 00:20:04,875 --> 00:20:06,665 WHAT'S HIS PROBLEM? 374 00:20:06,750 --> 00:20:11,540 THE SICKENING PANG OF HOPE DEFERRED, SARAH. 375 00:20:12,292 --> 00:20:14,712 HEH HEH HEH! 376 00:20:15,667 --> 00:20:17,207 OH! HEE HEE HEE! 377 00:20:17,042 --> 00:20:21,502 CURSE THIS DREADED LACKADAISY-CATHRO DISEASE! 378 00:20:21,583 --> 00:20:25,213 DUDE, LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S PLAYING A JOKE ON YOU. 379 00:20:25,292 --> 00:20:27,962 DON'T SWEAT IT, OK? 380 00:20:29,417 --> 00:20:32,167 Sarah: WHAT AN IDIOT! 381 00:20:33,500 --> 00:20:35,880 OH, THOSE--THOSE... 382 00:20:35,958 --> 00:20:38,578 RAPSCALLIONS! 383 00:20:40,125 --> 00:20:41,205 [WATER DRIPPING] 384 00:20:41,042 --> 00:20:44,082 Kevin: OK, NOW I'M MAD. 385 00:20:44,167 --> 00:20:46,577 [LAUGHING] 386 00:20:48,042 --> 00:20:51,082 ARE YOU PROUD OF YOURSELVES?! 387 00:20:51,167 --> 00:20:52,957 HANG ON THERE, HAMLET. 388 00:20:53,042 --> 00:20:54,042 HA HA HA! 389 00:20:54,125 --> 00:20:56,075 TOO RICH, HUH, DOUBLE D? 390 00:20:56,167 --> 00:20:58,167 LISTEN TO ME! 391 00:20:58,250 --> 00:20:59,670 HOW CAN WE NOT? 392 00:20:59,750 --> 00:21:02,000 THIS WAS FOUND ON MY BODY! 393 00:21:02,083 --> 00:21:05,793 YOU HAD ME BELIEVE I WAS EXPIRING! 394 00:21:05,875 --> 00:21:10,745 RAGE! AIN'T THAT A SYMPTOM, DR. ED? 395 00:21:10,833 --> 00:21:15,043 I GOT OUT EARLY FOR GOOD BEHAVIOR. 396 00:21:15,125 --> 00:21:15,955 KEVIN?! 397 00:21:16,042 --> 00:21:20,042 HONEST, I TRIED TO STOP HIM... 398 00:21:20,125 --> 00:21:22,535 BUT ED INSISTED WE BUST YOUR CHOPS. 399 00:21:22,625 --> 00:21:24,205 HE DID! 400 00:21:24,042 --> 00:21:26,212 SPONGE STAMPEDE! 401 00:21:26,292 --> 00:21:29,212 GET BACK HERE! 402 00:21:30,750 --> 00:21:35,670 Both: ♪ KEVIN CAN'T GET US, KEVIN CAN'T GET US ♪ 403 00:21:35,750 --> 00:21:38,460 OH, NO, ED! I'M SO SCARED! 404 00:21:38,542 --> 00:21:41,132 I'M SHAKING LIKE CHEESE! 405 00:21:41,208 --> 00:21:42,208 [LAUGHING] 406 00:21:42,292 --> 00:21:43,962 GRRRR! 407 00:21:44,042 --> 00:21:44,962 Edd: AHEM. 408 00:21:45,042 --> 00:21:49,002 OH, LOOK, EDDY'S SPARE HOUSE KEY. 409 00:21:49,083 --> 00:21:49,923 OOPS. 410 00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:51,380 HOW CARELESS OF ME. 411 00:21:51,458 --> 00:21:55,038 I SEEM TO HAVE MISPLACED IT. 412 00:22:04,917 --> 00:22:07,377 Eddy: NO! NOT THE FACE, KEV! 413 00:22:07,458 --> 00:22:10,078 KEVIN'S JUSTIFIED PUMMEL DISORDER: 414 00:22:10,167 --> 00:22:12,627 SYMPTOMS ARE BRUISING OF THE EYE 415 00:22:12,708 --> 00:22:14,708 FOLLOWED BY A SORE REAR END 416 00:22:14,792 --> 00:22:16,962 AND A RAPID RELEASE OF HOT AIR 417 00:22:17,042 --> 00:22:18,542 FROM AN INFLATED EGO. 418 00:22:18,625 --> 00:22:20,205 HA HA HA HA! 419 00:22:20,292 --> 00:22:22,172 CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY 420 00:22:22,250 --> 00:22:23,670 TURNER ENTERTAINMENT GROUP 421 00:22:23,750 --> 00:22:26,130 AND U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION 422 00:22:28,167 --> 00:22:29,827 CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL 423 00:22:29,917 --> 00:22:31,207 CAPTIONING INSTITUTE 424 00:22:31,292 --> 00:22:33,462 --www.ncicap.org-- 425 00:22:37,792 --> 00:22:39,132 ♪ ED, EDD N EDDY 426 00:22:39,208 --> 00:22:40,998 BRRRRRR, YEAH!