1
00:00:02,394 --> 00:00:04,652
♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
2
00:00:04,730 --> 00:00:07,731
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
3
00:00:07,824 --> 00:00:11,343
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:11,495 --> 00:00:14,346
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
5
00:00:14,498 --> 00:00:17,832
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
6
00:00:17,852 --> 00:00:21,411
♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪
7
00:00:21,430 --> 00:00:22,855
♪ All the things that make us ♪
8
00:00:23,006 --> 00:00:24,172
♪ Laugh and cry ♪
9
00:00:24,266 --> 00:00:30,112
♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
10
00:00:33,868 --> 00:00:35,367
(news intro music plays)
11
00:00:35,594 --> 00:00:38,779
A little taste of the future
right here in Quahog?
12
00:00:38,931 --> 00:00:41,098
That's right.
Virtual Reality World
13
00:00:41,116 --> 00:00:43,024
has just opened its doors
to the public.
14
00:00:43,118 --> 00:00:45,210
For those of you
who don't know what VR is,
15
00:00:45,437 --> 00:00:47,195
I will now attempt
to explain it to you
16
00:00:47,289 --> 00:00:48,863
without the aid
of a teleprompter.
17
00:00:48,883 --> 00:00:50,382
You put a computer on a face,
18
00:00:50,609 --> 00:00:53,110
and it's like this whole world,
man. It's crazy.
19
00:00:53,128 --> 00:00:55,537
I dated a chick
whose little brother had one.
20
00:00:55,631 --> 00:00:56,871
Just nuts.
21
00:00:56,965 --> 00:00:59,040
-Guys, let's go to VR World.
-Hell yeah.
22
00:00:59,060 --> 00:01:01,226
-Let's do it.
-All right.
23
00:01:02,063 --> 00:01:03,470
I mixed up the letters.
24
00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:06,148
We-We'll...
We'll-we'll get there.
25
00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:13,906
Gentlemen, the going rate
is 20 bucks a game over here.
26
00:01:13,982 --> 00:01:15,557
Who's got
a pair of stones big enough
27
00:01:15,651 --> 00:01:18,226
to challenge the mighty Meg?
28
00:01:18,245 --> 00:01:20,061
My money's on the table.
29
00:01:20,155 --> 00:01:22,139
Can you please
get out of my way?
30
00:01:22,232 --> 00:01:24,065
-Come take my money.
-My hand is bleeding,
31
00:01:24,234 --> 00:01:26,568
and I need to wash it
so it doesn't get infected!
32
00:01:26,662 --> 00:01:27,902
Oh, okay.
33
00:01:27,996 --> 00:01:29,996
He scurred. Everybody scurred.
34
00:01:30,132 --> 00:01:31,982
Damn bunch of panzos over here.
35
00:01:32,075 --> 00:01:34,409
Bruce, how we doing
on those Gulden's packets?
36
00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:38,222
I got my mind on my mustard
and my mustard on my mind.
37
00:01:39,082 --> 00:01:40,415
(slurps)
38
00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:41,749
There it is.
39
00:01:41,918 --> 00:01:43,918
What is going on with you today?
40
00:01:44,012 --> 00:01:45,253
I'm just so bored.
41
00:01:45,272 --> 00:01:47,331
Ain't nobody forcing you
to stay here.
42
00:01:47,424 --> 00:01:48,498
Go do something.
43
00:01:48,592 --> 00:01:51,092
I did. I went over
to that new car wash.
44
00:01:51,112 --> 00:01:54,187
They got all the rainbow lights.
Real classy joint.
45
00:01:54,340 --> 00:01:58,099
Anyway, they say I can only
go through five times.
46
00:01:58,119 --> 00:02:00,010
Like,
why would you restrict that?
47
00:02:00,103 --> 00:02:01,678
Listen, Meg, I got to run.
48
00:02:01,771 --> 00:02:04,681
A special-needs boy got
his hands on a Rum and Coke,
49
00:02:04,700 --> 00:02:08,443
and he's absolutely destroying
the arcade.
50
00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:11,371
MAN: Hey, if you
really got nothing going on,
51
00:02:11,523 --> 00:02:13,373
-I could use a ride home.
-(scoffs)
52
00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:15,859
Yeah, like I'm really gonna let
some...
53
00:02:16,028 --> 00:02:18,620
hot piece of ass in my car.
54
00:02:18,714 --> 00:02:21,214
How the hell are you doing, boy?
55
00:02:21,367 --> 00:02:23,809
(chuckles)
I'm good, thanks.
56
00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:25,144
My name's Seymour.
57
00:02:25,295 --> 00:02:27,962
I'm Meg. But everyone here
calls me Thrash.
58
00:02:27,982 --> 00:02:29,556
-Heya, Meg.
-Wow.
59
00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:31,132
Yeah, I'll give you a ride.
60
00:02:31,152 --> 00:02:34,069
Just hope you don't mind
going fast.
61
00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:37,823
Here, let me show you
how it's done.
62
00:02:37,900 --> 00:02:39,641
(phone vibrating)
63
00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:41,735
Oh, sorry. That's my phone.
64
00:02:41,811 --> 00:02:44,454
Let it go to voice mail.
65
00:02:49,578 --> 00:02:52,579
Gentlemen, welcome
to Virtual Reality World.
66
00:02:52,731 --> 00:02:54,581
Now, who's ready
to put something on your face
67
00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:58,385
that was on someone else's face
15 minutes ago?
68
00:03:00,664 --> 00:03:04,666
Wow! Mine says, "Low battery.
Charge immediately."
69
00:03:04,760 --> 00:03:07,060
Is this real life?
70
00:03:11,266 --> 00:03:14,193
Aw, cool.
Virtual Reality: The Hulk.
71
00:03:14,420 --> 00:03:15,843
What's going on?
What's happening?
72
00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:19,013
I don't know. It's weird.
It keeps stopping and rebooting.
73
00:03:19,033 --> 00:03:20,607
Eric Bana, smash.
74
00:03:20,743 --> 00:03:22,275
Edward Norton, smash.
75
00:03:22,428 --> 00:03:25,095
-Okay, here we go. Mark Ruffalo.
-Are you smashing?
76
00:03:25,113 --> 00:03:27,206
No, I'm mainly just updating
my Twitter avatar
77
00:03:27,433 --> 00:03:29,041
to raise awareness
about fracking.
78
00:03:29,268 --> 00:03:30,767
That's lame. Try getting angry.
79
00:03:30,860 --> 00:03:33,545
Uh, I don't get angry. I vote.
80
00:03:33,697 --> 00:03:35,505
I vote.
81
00:03:38,368 --> 00:03:40,702
So, Seymour,
you from around here?
82
00:03:40,870 --> 00:03:42,036
Just moved here from Philly.
83
00:03:42,130 --> 00:03:44,056
Oh, right on. I love Philly.
84
00:03:44,132 --> 00:03:45,873
-I hated it...
-Kind of a dump.
85
00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:47,875
-...when I had to leave.
-Great town.
86
00:03:47,970 --> 00:03:50,062
Maybe I'm thinking of Dallas.
87
00:03:50,289 --> 00:03:52,064
-You want some mustard?
-No, thanks.
88
00:03:52,215 --> 00:03:54,975
I had a chalky, expired Kit Kat
at the bowling alley.
89
00:03:55,127 --> 00:03:56,309
Right on.
90
00:03:56,462 --> 00:03:58,128
(grunting)
91
00:03:58,221 --> 00:04:00,072
Sorry for all the packet racket.
92
00:04:00,241 --> 00:04:02,241
These things
can be a little tricky.
93
00:04:02,392 --> 00:04:04,892
There we go.
(slurps)
94
00:04:04,987 --> 00:04:07,804
Hooah!
It's that tang that gets me.
95
00:04:07,897 --> 00:04:10,415
Hey, Meg, would you mind
pulling over at this 7-Eleven?
96
00:04:10,492 --> 00:04:12,642
No doubt. I am the same way.
97
00:04:12,661 --> 00:04:14,811
Once I start thinking
about that hot case,
98
00:04:14,830 --> 00:04:16,755
I gots to pull over.
99
00:04:21,411 --> 00:04:24,412
I'll just do sex.
You don't need that.
100
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:27,057
Wait right here.
101
00:04:27,993 --> 00:04:29,159
What the...
102
00:04:29,177 --> 00:04:32,396
What is happening right now?
103
00:04:36,926 --> 00:04:38,685
Damn it.
I should have just stayed home.
104
00:04:38,837 --> 00:04:40,170
This is a bigger mistake
105
00:04:40,263 --> 00:04:42,355
than the Bill Belichick
Christmas album.
106
00:04:42,508 --> 00:04:44,357
("Rudolph the Red-Nosed
Reindeer" playing)
107
00:04:44,510 --> 00:04:47,435
(monotone): ♪ Rudolph
the red-nosed reindeer ♪
108
00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:49,955
♪ Had
some real explosive plays ♪
109
00:04:50,182 --> 00:04:52,516
♪ And if we saw zone defense ♪
110
00:04:52,534 --> 00:04:55,352
♪ We knew that it was gonna
give us the best ability ♪
111
00:04:55,354 --> 00:04:56,461
♪ To get the ball
down the field ♪
112
00:04:56,688 --> 00:04:58,522
♪ And we understood
our opponents ♪
113
00:04:58,540 --> 00:05:01,425
♪ Might have some difficulty
with that. ♪
114
00:05:04,954 --> 00:05:07,955
(Quagmire hiccuping)
115
00:05:08,050 --> 00:05:09,716
What's up with those hiccups?
116
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:11,217
-I don't know.
-(car door closes)
117
00:05:11,419 --> 00:05:12,978
I think
I said "giggity..." too fast
118
00:05:13,129 --> 00:05:14,313
when the guy was... explaining
119
00:05:14,464 --> 00:05:16,056
how the goggles...
sit on your face.
120
00:05:16,150 --> 00:05:17,816
Now they're not going away.
121
00:05:17,893 --> 00:05:19,059
-Boo!
-What are you doing?
122
00:05:19,227 --> 00:05:20,877
You can scare 'em away.
123
00:05:20,970 --> 00:05:22,395
You thought that would scare me?
124
00:05:22,548 --> 00:05:24,305
Crap.
Why aren't they going away?
125
00:05:24,399 --> 00:05:26,049
This is worse than the B side...
126
00:05:26,051 --> 00:05:29,143
of that Bill Belichick...
Christmas album.
127
00:05:29,163 --> 00:05:30,887
(monotone): ♪ On the first day
of Christmas ♪
128
00:05:30,980 --> 00:05:32,889
♪ My true love gave to me ♪
129
00:05:32,908 --> 00:05:34,315
♪ $4 million ♪
130
00:05:34,335 --> 00:05:37,127
♪ And a player
to be named later. ♪
131
00:05:40,990 --> 00:05:43,050
(alarm blaring)
132
00:05:43,993 --> 00:05:45,902
Let's go, Meg! Drive!
133
00:05:45,921 --> 00:05:47,512
(tires squealing)
134
00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:49,072
♪ ♪
135
00:05:49,074 --> 00:05:50,574
(horn honks)
136
00:05:50,667 --> 00:05:52,166
(siren wailing)
137
00:05:52,302 --> 00:05:54,227
♪ ♪
138
00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:22,939
(sirens wailing)
139
00:06:22,958 --> 00:06:25,533
(exhales)
All right, Meg.
140
00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:26,776
That was awesome.
141
00:06:26,795 --> 00:06:28,111
Where have you been all my life?
142
00:06:28,130 --> 00:06:30,371
Probably mostly at my house.
143
00:06:30,391 --> 00:06:33,800
Oh! One time, my dad
took me to see Stevie Nicks
144
00:06:33,952 --> 00:06:34,968
when my mom was sick.
145
00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:37,396
-(song finishes)
-(cheering and applause)
146
00:06:37,623 --> 00:06:39,380
What do you think
she's gonna play next, Dad?
147
00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:41,458
I don't know,
but if it's "Edge of Seventeen,"
148
00:06:41,476 --> 00:06:43,143
back up.
I need some twirling room.
149
00:06:43,295 --> 00:06:45,595
-♪ ♪
-Oh, this is it! This is it!
150
00:06:45,597 --> 00:06:47,280
Back up! Back up! Back up!
151
00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:01,494
Well, look who's finally up.
152
00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:03,647
Oh, I'm up, all right.
153
00:07:03,815 --> 00:07:06,258
Meg, drive!
154
00:07:06,485 --> 00:07:08,743
(tires squeal)
155
00:07:08,837 --> 00:07:10,745
How do you want your eggs?
156
00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:12,413
120 miles an hour
157
00:07:12,433 --> 00:07:14,658
on the razor's edge
between life and death.
158
00:07:14,676 --> 00:07:17,436
Okay. I'll just do,
like, a cheesy scramble.
159
00:07:17,587 --> 00:07:20,346
Hey, Dad, is it all right
if I use the car again?
160
00:07:20,499 --> 00:07:22,941
Yeah, that's fine. Why?
What do you got going on?
161
00:07:23,168 --> 00:07:25,351
Oh, just some stuff.
162
00:07:25,504 --> 00:07:28,530
-(sirens wailing)
-(tires squealing)
-(horns honk)
163
00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:35,011
What was all that noise
in your bedroom this morning?
164
00:07:35,030 --> 00:07:37,271
Oh, you know, not much.
165
00:07:37,349 --> 00:07:39,499
(playing polka music)
166
00:07:44,206 --> 00:07:45,964
-(Quagmire hiccuping)
-All right, Mr. Quagmire,
167
00:07:46,115 --> 00:07:47,540
I understand
you have the hiccups.
168
00:07:47,693 --> 00:07:50,043
Now, it says here on your chart
you've tried "boo."
169
00:07:50,195 --> 00:07:52,453
Outside of that,
the best way to treat hiccups
170
00:07:52,622 --> 00:07:53,880
is through hypnosis.
171
00:07:54,032 --> 00:07:55,957
Yeah, hypnosis helps
with all sorts of stuff.
172
00:07:56,034 --> 00:07:58,977
This guy even helped me recover
a traumatic repressed memory.
173
00:07:59,128 --> 00:08:01,462
One front-row ticket
for Nickelback, please.
174
00:08:01,540 --> 00:08:02,647
The music was great,
175
00:08:02,833 --> 00:08:05,132
but I split my black jeans
during "Photograph."
176
00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:08,737
The bouncers had to carry me out
with a napkin over my ass.
177
00:08:10,565 --> 00:08:13,140
-(Quagmire hiccuping)
-My mama always said
that hiccups
178
00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,309
are a sign that the devil's
got ahold of you.
179
00:08:15,329 --> 00:08:18,071
If anything can drive 'em away,
it's Reverend Lucius.
180
00:08:18,223 --> 00:08:20,240
And, like all Black priests,
181
00:08:20,392 --> 00:08:22,242
he's Whitney Houston's uncle.
182
00:08:22,394 --> 00:08:24,002
Is this the possessed one?
183
00:08:24,079 --> 00:08:27,413
Son, I'm now going to place
my hands on the afflicted area.
184
00:08:27,508 --> 00:08:29,991
Satan, release your grasp
from this man.
185
00:08:30,085 --> 00:08:32,418
In the name of Christ,
I exorcise thee,
186
00:08:32,587 --> 00:08:34,346
infernal invader!
187
00:08:35,832 --> 00:08:37,164
(hiccups)
188
00:08:37,333 --> 00:08:39,551
Well, I'm out
of purple-suited ideas.
189
00:08:39,703 --> 00:08:41,002
Peter, what are you doing?
190
00:08:41,096 --> 00:08:43,747
He's doing hiccup stuff.
I'm doing hat stuff.
191
00:08:43,765 --> 00:08:45,506
Easy with the fans, ladies.
192
00:08:45,526 --> 00:08:47,526
Easy with the fans.
193
00:08:52,274 --> 00:08:54,348
-(alarm blaring)
-Right on time.
194
00:08:54,442 --> 00:08:57,118
♪ ♪
195
00:08:58,096 --> 00:08:59,095
(tires squealing)
196
00:08:59,188 --> 00:09:00,539
(horn honks)
197
00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:04,292
(siren wailing)
198
00:09:07,030 --> 00:09:11,091
(tires squealing)
199
00:09:11,552 --> 00:09:14,344
♪ ♪
200
00:09:31,554 --> 00:09:33,989
♪ ♪
201
00:09:34,816 --> 00:09:37,492
(train whistle blows)
202
00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:40,653
(railroad crossing bells
clanging)
203
00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:43,397
Meg, what are you doing?
You're not gonna beat it.
204
00:09:43,566 --> 00:09:45,491
Who said anything
about beating it?
205
00:09:45,660 --> 00:09:48,128
Can you pass me that retainer
in the cup holder?
206
00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:51,423
(train whistle blowing)
207
00:10:09,501 --> 00:10:12,444
(slow-motion):
I have to wear it
208
00:10:12,595 --> 00:10:17,173
or my teeth will shift.
209
00:10:17,192 --> 00:10:19,843
(slow-motion):
That's smart.
210
00:10:19,861 --> 00:10:22,436
Mine have shifted.
211
00:10:22,456 --> 00:10:25,515
See?
212
00:10:25,533 --> 00:10:28,126
♪ ♪
213
00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:34,281
Yes! That's
what I'm talking about, Meg!
214
00:10:34,450 --> 00:10:36,801
(whoops)
I love hanging out with you.
215
00:10:36,878 --> 00:10:38,544
That was such a rush!
216
00:10:38,697 --> 00:10:41,973
This must be what it's like
to get a B12 shot.
217
00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:45,644
Hi. I'm a bored white person
looking to waste $60?
218
00:10:45,795 --> 00:10:47,461
Well, I have a certificate
219
00:10:47,555 --> 00:10:49,205
from a probably, like,
three-day course
220
00:10:49,224 --> 00:10:51,374
that says I can inject people
with stuff.
221
00:10:51,393 --> 00:10:53,559
That needle's clean, right?
222
00:10:53,654 --> 00:10:55,320
You bet it is.
223
00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:06,039
(hiccuping)
224
00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:09,334
(sobbing)
225
00:11:11,229 --> 00:11:12,504
(knock on door)
226
00:11:13,581 --> 00:11:15,915
(hiccuping):
Hey... I saw your TV was on
227
00:11:16,067 --> 00:11:17,233
and thought I'd... swing by.
228
00:11:17,326 --> 00:11:19,010
Geez, you look like hell.
229
00:11:19,162 --> 00:11:20,904
Listen,
I'm at the end of my rope here.
230
00:11:20,922 --> 00:11:22,347
I can't sleep. I can't eat.
231
00:11:22,574 --> 00:11:24,866
Peyton Manning was accused
of assaulting a woman...
232
00:11:24,926 --> 00:11:26,409
and it just kind of went away.
233
00:11:26,428 --> 00:11:28,094
I need you to do something
for me, Peter.
234
00:11:28,246 --> 00:11:29,503
What is it? You name it.
235
00:11:29,597 --> 00:11:31,856
I don't want to live like this.
I need...
236
00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:33,841
I need you to kill me.
237
00:11:34,010 --> 00:11:35,601
What?! Quagmire,
I can't do that.
238
00:11:35,696 --> 00:11:37,344
You're-you're my best friend.
239
00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:39,197
If that's true,
then you'll... do it.
240
00:11:39,348 --> 00:11:41,090
You don't know
what it's been like.
241
00:11:41,109 --> 00:11:44,260
I can't remember the last time
I slept... 15 minutes straight.
242
00:11:44,279 --> 00:11:46,871
It's torture, Peter...
and it's driving me insane!
243
00:11:47,098 --> 00:11:49,499
Please... I'm begging you.
244
00:11:51,545 --> 00:11:53,770
(hiccups)
245
00:11:53,863 --> 00:11:55,380
Well, if it's really come
to that,
246
00:11:55,607 --> 00:11:58,532
if that's what you really want,
I'll do it.
247
00:11:58,552 --> 00:12:01,294
Oh, thank you, Peter.
And you have to do it.
248
00:12:01,463 --> 00:12:04,113
You can't let me out of it,
no matter how much I insist.
249
00:12:04,207 --> 00:12:05,873
It's done.
I'll come get you tomorrow.
250
00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:08,134
Thank you, Peter...
thank you so much.
251
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:09,894
What are you doing
with your Hawaiian shirts?
252
00:12:10,121 --> 00:12:11,712
I want them tightly folded
253
00:12:11,806 --> 00:12:13,973
like a flag
at a military funeral.
254
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:16,317
(playing "Aloha 'Oe")
255
00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:23,466
There's a condom in the pocket.
And it's used.
256
00:12:23,559 --> 00:12:26,469
(sobbing)
257
00:12:26,562 --> 00:12:30,582
Who else but Quagmire?
258
00:12:35,830 --> 00:12:38,982
Burn. Why aren't you burning?
259
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:40,741
-(calypso music playing)
-Uh, Black Irish, Chris.
260
00:12:40,761 --> 00:12:42,485
I never burn, only tan.
261
00:12:42,578 --> 00:12:46,139
Uh, hey, Kel, how's
that cocktail coming along?
262
00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:53,104
Listen, Meg, I've got a big job
I've been thinking about.
263
00:12:53,256 --> 00:12:55,665
-I'm talking huge.
-You're not...
264
00:12:55,758 --> 00:12:57,667
You're not seriously thinking
about robbing
265
00:12:57,760 --> 00:12:59,352
-Ross Dress for Less.
-Ross Dress for Less. Exactly.
266
00:12:59,504 --> 00:13:01,838
It's their Memorial Day sale
this weekend.
267
00:13:01,931 --> 00:13:03,597
-Big job.
-Big savings.
268
00:13:03,766 --> 00:13:05,766
That's Ross Dress for Less.
269
00:13:05,819 --> 00:13:07,768
Gonna need a hell of a driver.
270
00:13:07,788 --> 00:13:09,679
I knew I could count on you.
271
00:13:09,772 --> 00:13:11,014
What kind is this?
272
00:13:11,032 --> 00:13:12,439
It's French's.
273
00:13:12,608 --> 00:13:15,535
(babbling, slurping)
274
00:13:15,687 --> 00:13:18,797
Oh, my God,
Meg's gonna commit a robbery.
275
00:13:18,948 --> 00:13:20,799
What am I gonna do?
276
00:13:21,026 --> 00:13:23,635
Chris is in distress?
277
00:13:23,711 --> 00:13:26,638
Herbert is in distress?
278
00:13:26,714 --> 00:13:28,640
Old turtle.
279
00:13:35,723 --> 00:13:36,815
Hey, Meg?
280
00:13:36,966 --> 00:13:38,817
I need to talk to you
about something.
281
00:13:39,044 --> 00:13:41,653
About Ross Dress for Less.
282
00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:44,047
What?
How do you know about that?
283
00:13:44,065 --> 00:13:45,398
I heard what you said
in the car.
284
00:13:45,567 --> 00:13:49,143
Meg, I think you're
very confused about something.
285
00:13:49,237 --> 00:13:50,995
Oh, what?
Wait, wait, let me guess.
286
00:13:51,222 --> 00:13:52,980
Seymour's just using me?
287
00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:55,834
Trust me, Chris,
I'm not confused about anything.
288
00:13:55,910 --> 00:13:59,579
-No, Meg...
-Stop spying on me,
you little creep.
289
00:13:59,731 --> 00:14:01,655
Oh, man, I got to tell somebody.
290
00:14:01,675 --> 00:14:06,094
But first, let's have a look
at this sex toy drawer.
291
00:14:10,925 --> 00:14:13,409
Wow, big sex toy.
292
00:14:13,428 --> 00:14:16,688
And big savings. That's Hitachi.
293
00:14:19,601 --> 00:14:21,192
(hiccuping):
Goodbye, baby girl.
294
00:14:21,344 --> 00:14:23,528
Daddy's going away for a while.
295
00:14:23,679 --> 00:14:25,846
Ugh, I can't...
296
00:14:25,866 --> 00:14:28,116
(sobbing, hiccuping)
297
00:14:30,778 --> 00:14:32,353
-(yowls)
-Ow! Ouch!
298
00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:34,706
God, those claws
went right through my pants.
299
00:14:34,857 --> 00:14:36,265
Oh, my God.
300
00:14:36,434 --> 00:14:37,858
Oh, my God, they're gone.
301
00:14:37,952 --> 00:14:40,753
Kitty, you did it!
You broke the curse!
302
00:14:45,443 --> 00:14:46,442
(muffled scream)
303
00:14:46,461 --> 00:14:48,611
(muffled):
Peter, no! They went away.
304
00:14:48,613 --> 00:14:50,221
-My hiccups are gone.
-Oh, no.
305
00:14:50,373 --> 00:14:53,040
That's exactly what you said
not to listen to.
306
00:14:53,134 --> 00:14:54,225
(grunts)
Peter, please!
307
00:14:54,377 --> 00:14:56,377
I swear, they're gone! Listen!
308
00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:58,971
Sorry, Quagmire. I promised
to take you out of your misery.
309
00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:00,881
And when I give my word
on something,
310
00:15:00,901 --> 00:15:01,974
I give it my all.
311
00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:04,402
Like when I guarded
Jeffrey Epstein.
312
00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:07,130
(Russian accent):
We would like to see prisoner.
313
00:15:07,148 --> 00:15:09,407
-On whose authority?
-Your mother.
314
00:15:09,634 --> 00:15:11,576
(sneers)
315
00:15:17,809 --> 00:15:20,901
All right, I was able to hack
into the city's server.
316
00:15:20,921 --> 00:15:22,145
There's an accessible heat duct
317
00:15:22,238 --> 00:15:23,813
on the southwest side
of the building.
318
00:15:23,831 --> 00:15:26,482
If we set off an explosion
here...
319
00:15:26,501 --> 00:15:28,801
Meg, I'm just gonna walk in
and point a gun at the cashier.
320
00:15:28,911 --> 00:15:30,336
Oh. Okay.
321
00:15:30,413 --> 00:15:33,580
Yeah. Yeah,
that-that should work.
322
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:36,517
(car door opens, closes)
323
00:15:39,330 --> 00:15:40,939
Yeah, we don't need
the timer, either.
324
00:15:41,090 --> 00:15:43,232
It won't be a factor
in anything I do.
325
00:15:51,952 --> 00:15:53,952
You okay back there, Quagmire?
326
00:15:54,028 --> 00:15:55,027
QUAGMIRE (muffled):
Why do you care
327
00:15:55,180 --> 00:15:56,195
if you're just gonna
kill me anyway?
328
00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:58,957
We're still friends. Geez.
329
00:15:59,184 --> 00:16:01,942
(alarm blaring)
330
00:16:02,036 --> 00:16:05,279
That store is a disaster.
331
00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:07,373
The robes
are next to the hand weights.
332
00:16:07,525 --> 00:16:08,858
(chuckles):
I mean, come on.
333
00:16:08,876 --> 00:16:10,117
Go, Meg! Let's go.
334
00:16:10,211 --> 00:16:12,303
(tires squealing)
335
00:16:13,381 --> 00:16:15,548
(horn honks)
336
00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:18,810
(siren wailing)
337
00:16:18,961 --> 00:16:21,387
♪ ♪
338
00:16:21,539 --> 00:16:23,356
(tires screech)
339
00:16:47,065 --> 00:16:48,756
♪ ♪
340
00:16:58,018 --> 00:17:00,309
(sirens wailing)
341
00:17:03,339 --> 00:17:05,431
(boat horn honking)
342
00:17:05,583 --> 00:17:07,275
(bell clanging)
343
00:17:26,362 --> 00:17:27,628
♪ ♪
344
00:17:33,611 --> 00:17:35,261
(tires screech)
345
00:17:36,281 --> 00:17:38,890
We did it! Meg, that was...
346
00:17:39,041 --> 00:17:40,892
Wow.
347
00:17:41,043 --> 00:17:43,061
(both moan)
348
00:17:43,288 --> 00:17:46,880
You're not just using me,
are you?
349
00:17:46,974 --> 00:17:48,474
What would give you that idea?
350
00:17:48,626 --> 00:17:49,809
I don't know.
351
00:17:49,961 --> 00:17:52,128
Just used to being hurt,
I guess.
352
00:17:52,188 --> 00:17:54,297
Meg, in addition to being
353
00:17:54,465 --> 00:17:57,224
the most kick-ass getaway driver
I have ever seen,
354
00:17:57,318 --> 00:17:59,744
I think you're
the most amazing person
355
00:17:59,895 --> 00:18:01,487
I've ever met.
356
00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:02,580
Really?
357
00:18:02,807 --> 00:18:04,807
♪ Lift up your head ♪
358
00:18:04,826 --> 00:18:07,159
♪ Wipe off that mascara ♪
359
00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:09,645
♪ Here, take my Kleenex ♪
360
00:18:09,738 --> 00:18:12,090
♪ Wipe that mustard away ♪
361
00:18:12,926 --> 00:18:14,650
♪ Show me your face ♪
362
00:18:14,743 --> 00:18:17,261
♪ Clean as the morning ♪
363
00:18:17,413 --> 00:18:19,155
♪ I know things were bad ♪
364
00:18:19,173 --> 00:18:24,176
♪ But now they're okay ♪
365
00:18:24,329 --> 00:18:27,772
♪ Suddenly Seymour. ♪
366
00:18:27,923 --> 00:18:30,015
-(gunshot)
-(grunts)
-Seymour!
367
00:18:30,168 --> 00:18:32,318
(tires squealing)
368
00:18:46,184 --> 00:18:48,108
Meg, get out of here.
369
00:18:48,128 --> 00:18:51,278
-I'll take the heat for this.
-What? Why?
370
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:54,298
Because you're my sister
and I love you.
371
00:18:54,450 --> 00:18:56,467
But what do we do about Seymo...
372
00:18:58,304 --> 00:18:59,211
What the...?
373
00:18:59,364 --> 00:19:01,622
Meg, there never was a Seymour.
374
00:19:01,716 --> 00:19:03,307
Think about it.
375
00:19:03,459 --> 00:19:06,126
Just hope you don't mind
going fast.
376
00:19:06,146 --> 00:19:08,813
Ooh. Big, flat butt, 11 o'clock.
377
00:19:08,964 --> 00:19:09,981
I got it.
378
00:19:10,166 --> 00:19:11,632
(Meg babbling)
379
00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:12,799
(slurps)
380
00:19:12,894 --> 00:19:14,635
Oh, Seymour.
381
00:19:14,729 --> 00:19:16,154
(slurps)
382
00:19:16,381 --> 00:19:18,047
♪ ♪
383
00:19:18,140 --> 00:19:20,283
(imitating engine noises)
384
00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:24,053
Don't turn the wheel, please.
385
00:19:24,222 --> 00:19:27,147
I don't understand.
386
00:19:27,316 --> 00:19:29,167
I watched you
in front of Ross Dress for Less.
387
00:19:29,318 --> 00:19:32,895
You were just revving the engine
with your hand down your pants.
388
00:19:32,914 --> 00:19:34,246
Look,
whatever's going on with you,
389
00:19:34,399 --> 00:19:36,591
we're gonna figure it out.
390
00:19:39,179 --> 00:19:41,161
Thank you, Chris.
391
00:19:41,181 --> 00:19:44,073
(grunts)
What the hell?
392
00:19:44,166 --> 00:19:46,350
We'll talk later. Just go.
393
00:19:47,412 --> 00:19:49,020
Hey, you got to frickin' watch
where you're going, man.
394
00:19:49,171 --> 00:19:51,597
Chris?
What are you doing out here?
395
00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:53,416
Oh, y-you caught me.
396
00:19:53,434 --> 00:19:57,528
I, uh, I stole your car
and went on a joyride.
397
00:19:57,680 --> 00:19:59,947
(chuckles):
Yeah!
398
00:20:01,092 --> 00:20:03,701
Chris,
I am very disappointed in you,
399
00:20:03,928 --> 00:20:05,686
and you are grounded,
and we will talk about this
400
00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:07,121
after I kill my best friend.
401
00:20:12,879 --> 00:20:15,028
Well, Peter,
I'm glad the gun jammed
402
00:20:15,048 --> 00:20:16,772
and Quagmire's still alive.
403
00:20:16,865 --> 00:20:18,290
Yeah, the gun definitely jammed
404
00:20:18,384 --> 00:20:20,276
and I didn't miss him
with all six bullets,
405
00:20:20,294 --> 00:20:22,869
-that's for sure.
-What are we gonna do about Meg?
406
00:20:22,964 --> 00:20:25,798
She's upstairs
having very loud sex
407
00:20:25,950 --> 00:20:27,116
with her imaginary boyfriend.
408
00:20:27,134 --> 00:20:29,785
MEG (off-key):
♪ Suddenly Seymour. ♪
409
00:20:29,804 --> 00:20:30,970
(news intro music playing)
410
00:20:31,122 --> 00:20:32,546
Maybe this has something
to do with that.
411
00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:35,958
The FDA has issued a recall
on four brands of mustard
412
00:20:35,977 --> 00:20:38,051
due to possible
E. coli contamination.
413
00:20:38,071 --> 00:20:39,311
So far, there have been
414
00:20:39,464 --> 00:20:41,388
three confirmed cases
here in Rhode Island.
415
00:20:41,407 --> 00:20:43,908
Symptoms of infection
include fever, diarrhea,
416
00:20:44,135 --> 00:20:46,827
and delusions
of having a criminal boyfriend.
417
00:20:48,230 --> 00:20:50,823
Wow. That Family Guy simulation
was really freaky.
418
00:20:50,975 --> 00:20:53,142
It's like I was in the episode.
419
00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:56,145
I'll say. Do you want to do
a Bob's Burgers?
420
00:20:56,163 --> 00:20:58,547
Dude, lead with that next time.