1 00:00:02,394 --> 00:00:04,652 ♪ It seems today that all you see ♪ 2 00:00:04,730 --> 00:00:07,731 ♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪ 3 00:00:07,824 --> 00:00:11,343 ♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values ♪ 4 00:00:11,495 --> 00:00:14,346 ♪ On which we used to rely? ♪ 5 00:00:14,498 --> 00:00:17,832 ♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪ 6 00:00:17,852 --> 00:00:21,411 ♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪ 7 00:00:21,430 --> 00:00:22,855 ♪ All the things that make us ♪ 8 00:00:23,006 --> 00:00:24,172 ♪ Laugh and cry ♪ 9 00:00:24,266 --> 00:00:30,112 ♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪ 10 00:00:33,868 --> 00:00:35,367 (news intro music plays) 11 00:00:35,594 --> 00:00:38,779 A little taste of the future right here in Quahog? 12 00:00:38,931 --> 00:00:41,098 That's right. Virtual Reality World 13 00:00:41,116 --> 00:00:43,024 has just opened its doors to the public. 14 00:00:43,118 --> 00:00:45,210 For those of you who don't know what VR is, 15 00:00:45,437 --> 00:00:47,195 I will now attempt to explain it to you 16 00:00:47,289 --> 00:00:48,863 without the aid of a teleprompter. 17 00:00:48,883 --> 00:00:50,382 You put a computer on a face, 18 00:00:50,609 --> 00:00:53,110 and it's like this whole world, man. It's crazy. 19 00:00:53,128 --> 00:00:55,537 I dated a chick whose little brother had one. 20 00:00:55,631 --> 00:00:56,871 Just nuts. 21 00:00:56,965 --> 00:00:59,040 -Guys, let's go to VR World. -Hell yeah. 22 00:00:59,060 --> 00:01:01,226 -Let's do it. -All right. 23 00:01:02,063 --> 00:01:03,470 I mixed up the letters. 24 00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:06,148 We-We'll... We'll-we'll get there. 25 00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:13,906 Gentlemen, the going rate is 20 bucks a game over here. 26 00:01:13,982 --> 00:01:15,557 Who's got a pair of stones big enough 27 00:01:15,651 --> 00:01:18,226 to challenge the mighty Meg? 28 00:01:18,245 --> 00:01:20,061 My money's on the table. 29 00:01:20,155 --> 00:01:22,139 Can you please get out of my way? 30 00:01:22,232 --> 00:01:24,065 -Come take my money. -My hand is bleeding, 31 00:01:24,234 --> 00:01:26,568 and I need to wash it so it doesn't get infected! 32 00:01:26,662 --> 00:01:27,902 Oh, okay. 33 00:01:27,996 --> 00:01:29,996 He scurred. Everybody scurred. 34 00:01:30,132 --> 00:01:31,982 Damn bunch of panzos over here. 35 00:01:32,075 --> 00:01:34,409 Bruce, how we doing on those Gulden's packets? 36 00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:38,222 I got my mind on my mustard and my mustard on my mind. 37 00:01:39,082 --> 00:01:40,415 (slurps) 38 00:01:40,434 --> 00:01:41,749 There it is. 39 00:01:41,918 --> 00:01:43,918 What is going on with you today? 40 00:01:44,012 --> 00:01:45,253 I'm just so bored. 41 00:01:45,272 --> 00:01:47,331 Ain't nobody forcing you to stay here. 42 00:01:47,424 --> 00:01:48,498 Go do something. 43 00:01:48,592 --> 00:01:51,092 I did. I went over to that new car wash. 44 00:01:51,112 --> 00:01:54,187 They got all the rainbow lights. Real classy joint. 45 00:01:54,340 --> 00:01:58,099 Anyway, they say I can only go through five times. 46 00:01:58,119 --> 00:02:00,010 Like, why would you restrict that? 47 00:02:00,103 --> 00:02:01,678 Listen, Meg, I got to run. 48 00:02:01,771 --> 00:02:04,681 A special-needs boy got his hands on a Rum and Coke, 49 00:02:04,700 --> 00:02:08,443 and he's absolutely destroying the arcade. 50 00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:11,371 MAN: Hey, if you really got nothing going on, 51 00:02:11,523 --> 00:02:13,373 -I could use a ride home. -(scoffs) 52 00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:15,859 Yeah, like I'm really gonna let some... 53 00:02:16,028 --> 00:02:18,620 hot piece of ass in my car. 54 00:02:18,714 --> 00:02:21,214 How the hell are you doing, boy? 55 00:02:21,367 --> 00:02:23,809 (chuckles) I'm good, thanks. 56 00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:25,144 My name's Seymour. 57 00:02:25,295 --> 00:02:27,962 I'm Meg. But everyone here calls me Thrash. 58 00:02:27,982 --> 00:02:29,556 -Heya, Meg. -Wow. 59 00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:31,132 Yeah, I'll give you a ride. 60 00:02:31,152 --> 00:02:34,069 Just hope you don't mind going fast. 61 00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:37,823 Here, let me show you how it's done. 62 00:02:37,900 --> 00:02:39,641 (phone vibrating) 63 00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:41,735 Oh, sorry. That's my phone. 64 00:02:41,811 --> 00:02:44,454 Let it go to voice mail. 65 00:02:49,578 --> 00:02:52,579 Gentlemen, welcome to Virtual Reality World. 66 00:02:52,731 --> 00:02:54,581 Now, who's ready to put something on your face 67 00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:58,385 that was on someone else's face 15 minutes ago? 68 00:03:00,664 --> 00:03:04,666 Wow! Mine says, "Low battery. Charge immediately." 69 00:03:04,760 --> 00:03:07,060 Is this real life? 70 00:03:11,266 --> 00:03:14,193 Aw, cool. Virtual Reality: The Hulk. 71 00:03:14,420 --> 00:03:15,843 What's going on? What's happening? 72 00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:19,013 I don't know. It's weird. It keeps stopping and rebooting. 73 00:03:19,033 --> 00:03:20,607 Eric Bana, smash. 74 00:03:20,743 --> 00:03:22,275 Edward Norton, smash. 75 00:03:22,428 --> 00:03:25,095 -Okay, here we go. Mark Ruffalo. -Are you smashing? 76 00:03:25,113 --> 00:03:27,206 No, I'm mainly just updating my Twitter avatar 77 00:03:27,433 --> 00:03:29,041 to raise awareness about fracking. 78 00:03:29,268 --> 00:03:30,767 That's lame. Try getting angry. 79 00:03:30,860 --> 00:03:33,545 Uh, I don't get angry. I vote. 80 00:03:33,697 --> 00:03:35,505 I vote. 81 00:03:38,368 --> 00:03:40,702 So, Seymour, you from around here? 82 00:03:40,870 --> 00:03:42,036 Just moved here from Philly. 83 00:03:42,130 --> 00:03:44,056 Oh, right on. I love Philly. 84 00:03:44,132 --> 00:03:45,873 -I hated it... -Kind of a dump. 85 00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:47,875 -...when I had to leave. -Great town. 86 00:03:47,970 --> 00:03:50,062 Maybe I'm thinking of Dallas. 87 00:03:50,289 --> 00:03:52,064 -You want some mustard? -No, thanks. 88 00:03:52,215 --> 00:03:54,975 I had a chalky, expired Kit Kat at the bowling alley. 89 00:03:55,127 --> 00:03:56,309 Right on. 90 00:03:56,462 --> 00:03:58,128 (grunting) 91 00:03:58,221 --> 00:04:00,072 Sorry for all the packet racket. 92 00:04:00,241 --> 00:04:02,241 These things can be a little tricky. 93 00:04:02,392 --> 00:04:04,892 There we go. (slurps) 94 00:04:04,987 --> 00:04:07,804 Hooah! It's that tang that gets me. 95 00:04:07,897 --> 00:04:10,415 Hey, Meg, would you mind pulling over at this 7-Eleven? 96 00:04:10,492 --> 00:04:12,642 No doubt. I am the same way. 97 00:04:12,661 --> 00:04:14,811 Once I start thinking about that hot case, 98 00:04:14,830 --> 00:04:16,755 I gots to pull over. 99 00:04:21,411 --> 00:04:24,412 I'll just do sex. You don't need that. 100 00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:27,057 Wait right here. 101 00:04:27,993 --> 00:04:29,159 What the... 102 00:04:29,177 --> 00:04:32,396 What is happening right now? 103 00:04:36,926 --> 00:04:38,685 Damn it. I should have just stayed home. 104 00:04:38,837 --> 00:04:40,170 This is a bigger mistake 105 00:04:40,263 --> 00:04:42,355 than the Bill Belichick Christmas album. 106 00:04:42,508 --> 00:04:44,357 ("Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" playing) 107 00:04:44,510 --> 00:04:47,435 (monotone): ♪ Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer ♪ 108 00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:49,955 ♪ Had some real explosive plays ♪ 109 00:04:50,182 --> 00:04:52,516 ♪ And if we saw zone defense ♪ 110 00:04:52,534 --> 00:04:55,352 ♪ We knew that it was gonna give us the best ability ♪ 111 00:04:55,354 --> 00:04:56,461 ♪ To get the ball down the field ♪ 112 00:04:56,688 --> 00:04:58,522 ♪ And we understood our opponents ♪ 113 00:04:58,540 --> 00:05:01,425 ♪ Might have some difficulty with that. ♪ 114 00:05:04,954 --> 00:05:07,955 (Quagmire hiccuping) 115 00:05:08,050 --> 00:05:09,716 What's up with those hiccups? 116 00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:11,217 -I don't know. -(car door closes) 117 00:05:11,419 --> 00:05:12,978 I think I said "giggity..." too fast 118 00:05:13,129 --> 00:05:14,313 when the guy was... explaining 119 00:05:14,464 --> 00:05:16,056 how the goggles... sit on your face. 120 00:05:16,150 --> 00:05:17,816 Now they're not going away. 121 00:05:17,893 --> 00:05:19,059 -Boo! -What are you doing? 122 00:05:19,227 --> 00:05:20,877 You can scare 'em away. 123 00:05:20,970 --> 00:05:22,395 You thought that would scare me? 124 00:05:22,548 --> 00:05:24,305 Crap. Why aren't they going away? 125 00:05:24,399 --> 00:05:26,049 This is worse than the B side... 126 00:05:26,051 --> 00:05:29,143 of that Bill Belichick... Christmas album. 127 00:05:29,163 --> 00:05:30,887 (monotone): ♪ On the first day of Christmas ♪ 128 00:05:30,980 --> 00:05:32,889 ♪ My true love gave to me ♪ 129 00:05:32,908 --> 00:05:34,315 ♪ $4 million ♪ 130 00:05:34,335 --> 00:05:37,127 ♪ And a player to be named later. ♪ 131 00:05:40,990 --> 00:05:43,050 (alarm blaring) 132 00:05:43,993 --> 00:05:45,902 Let's go, Meg! Drive! 133 00:05:45,921 --> 00:05:47,512 (tires squealing) 134 00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:49,072 ♪ ♪ 135 00:05:49,074 --> 00:05:50,574 (horn honks) 136 00:05:50,667 --> 00:05:52,166 (siren wailing) 137 00:05:52,302 --> 00:05:54,227 ♪ ♪ 138 00:06:21,382 --> 00:06:22,939 (sirens wailing) 139 00:06:22,958 --> 00:06:25,533 (exhales) All right, Meg. 140 00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:26,776 That was awesome. 141 00:06:26,795 --> 00:06:28,111 Where have you been all my life? 142 00:06:28,130 --> 00:06:30,371 Probably mostly at my house. 143 00:06:30,391 --> 00:06:33,800 Oh! One time, my dad took me to see Stevie Nicks 144 00:06:33,952 --> 00:06:34,968 when my mom was sick. 145 00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:37,396 -(song finishes) -(cheering and applause) 146 00:06:37,623 --> 00:06:39,380 What do you think she's gonna play next, Dad? 147 00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:41,458 I don't know, but if it's "Edge of Seventeen," 148 00:06:41,476 --> 00:06:43,143 back up. I need some twirling room. 149 00:06:43,295 --> 00:06:45,595 -♪ ♪ -Oh, this is it! This is it! 150 00:06:45,597 --> 00:06:47,280 Back up! Back up! Back up! 151 00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:01,494 Well, look who's finally up. 152 00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:03,647 Oh, I'm up, all right. 153 00:07:03,815 --> 00:07:06,258 Meg, drive! 154 00:07:06,485 --> 00:07:08,743 (tires squeal) 155 00:07:08,837 --> 00:07:10,745 How do you want your eggs? 156 00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:12,413 120 miles an hour 157 00:07:12,433 --> 00:07:14,658 on the razor's edge between life and death. 158 00:07:14,676 --> 00:07:17,436 Okay. I'll just do, like, a cheesy scramble. 159 00:07:17,587 --> 00:07:20,346 Hey, Dad, is it all right if I use the car again? 160 00:07:20,499 --> 00:07:22,941 Yeah, that's fine. Why? What do you got going on? 161 00:07:23,168 --> 00:07:25,351 Oh, just some stuff. 162 00:07:25,504 --> 00:07:28,530 -(sirens wailing) -(tires squealing) -(horns honk) 163 00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:35,011 What was all that noise in your bedroom this morning? 164 00:07:35,030 --> 00:07:37,271 Oh, you know, not much. 165 00:07:37,349 --> 00:07:39,499 (playing polka music) 166 00:07:44,206 --> 00:07:45,964 -(Quagmire hiccuping) -All right, Mr. Quagmire, 167 00:07:46,115 --> 00:07:47,540 I understand you have the hiccups. 168 00:07:47,693 --> 00:07:50,043 Now, it says here on your chart you've tried "boo." 169 00:07:50,195 --> 00:07:52,453 Outside of that, the best way to treat hiccups 170 00:07:52,622 --> 00:07:53,880 is through hypnosis. 171 00:07:54,032 --> 00:07:55,957 Yeah, hypnosis helps with all sorts of stuff. 172 00:07:56,034 --> 00:07:58,977 This guy even helped me recover a traumatic repressed memory. 173 00:07:59,128 --> 00:08:01,462 One front-row ticket for Nickelback, please. 174 00:08:01,540 --> 00:08:02,647 The music was great, 175 00:08:02,833 --> 00:08:05,132 but I split my black jeans during "Photograph." 176 00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:08,737 The bouncers had to carry me out with a napkin over my ass. 177 00:08:10,565 --> 00:08:13,140 -(Quagmire hiccuping) -My mama always said that hiccups 178 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,309 are a sign that the devil's got ahold of you. 179 00:08:15,329 --> 00:08:18,071 If anything can drive 'em away, it's Reverend Lucius. 180 00:08:18,223 --> 00:08:20,240 And, like all Black priests, 181 00:08:20,392 --> 00:08:22,242 he's Whitney Houston's uncle. 182 00:08:22,394 --> 00:08:24,002 Is this the possessed one? 183 00:08:24,079 --> 00:08:27,413 Son, I'm now going to place my hands on the afflicted area. 184 00:08:27,508 --> 00:08:29,991 Satan, release your grasp from this man. 185 00:08:30,085 --> 00:08:32,418 In the name of Christ, I exorcise thee, 186 00:08:32,587 --> 00:08:34,346 infernal invader! 187 00:08:35,832 --> 00:08:37,164 (hiccups) 188 00:08:37,333 --> 00:08:39,551 Well, I'm out of purple-suited ideas. 189 00:08:39,703 --> 00:08:41,002 Peter, what are you doing? 190 00:08:41,096 --> 00:08:43,747 He's doing hiccup stuff. I'm doing hat stuff. 191 00:08:43,765 --> 00:08:45,506 Easy with the fans, ladies. 192 00:08:45,526 --> 00:08:47,526 Easy with the fans. 193 00:08:52,274 --> 00:08:54,348 -(alarm blaring) -Right on time. 194 00:08:54,442 --> 00:08:57,118 ♪ ♪ 195 00:08:58,096 --> 00:08:59,095 (tires squealing) 196 00:08:59,188 --> 00:09:00,539 (horn honks) 197 00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:04,292 (siren wailing) 198 00:09:07,030 --> 00:09:11,091 (tires squealing) 199 00:09:11,552 --> 00:09:14,344 ♪ ♪ 200 00:09:31,554 --> 00:09:33,989 ♪ ♪ 201 00:09:34,816 --> 00:09:37,492 (train whistle blows) 202 00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:40,653 (railroad crossing bells clanging) 203 00:09:40,747 --> 00:09:43,397 Meg, what are you doing? You're not gonna beat it. 204 00:09:43,566 --> 00:09:45,491 Who said anything about beating it? 205 00:09:45,660 --> 00:09:48,128 Can you pass me that retainer in the cup holder? 206 00:09:49,756 --> 00:09:51,423 (train whistle blowing) 207 00:10:09,501 --> 00:10:12,444 (slow-motion): I have to wear it 208 00:10:12,595 --> 00:10:17,173 or my teeth will shift. 209 00:10:17,192 --> 00:10:19,843 (slow-motion): That's smart. 210 00:10:19,861 --> 00:10:22,436 Mine have shifted. 211 00:10:22,456 --> 00:10:25,515 See? 212 00:10:25,533 --> 00:10:28,126 ♪ ♪ 213 00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:34,281 Yes! That's what I'm talking about, Meg! 214 00:10:34,450 --> 00:10:36,801 (whoops) I love hanging out with you. 215 00:10:36,878 --> 00:10:38,544 That was such a rush! 216 00:10:38,697 --> 00:10:41,973 This must be what it's like to get a B12 shot. 217 00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:45,644 Hi. I'm a bored white person looking to waste $60? 218 00:10:45,795 --> 00:10:47,461 Well, I have a certificate 219 00:10:47,555 --> 00:10:49,205 from a probably, like, three-day course 220 00:10:49,224 --> 00:10:51,374 that says I can inject people with stuff. 221 00:10:51,393 --> 00:10:53,559 That needle's clean, right? 222 00:10:53,654 --> 00:10:55,320 You bet it is. 223 00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:06,039 (hiccuping) 224 00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:09,334 (sobbing) 225 00:11:11,229 --> 00:11:12,504 (knock on door) 226 00:11:13,581 --> 00:11:15,915 (hiccuping): Hey... I saw your TV was on 227 00:11:16,067 --> 00:11:17,233 and thought I'd... swing by. 228 00:11:17,326 --> 00:11:19,010 Geez, you look like hell. 229 00:11:19,162 --> 00:11:20,904 Listen, I'm at the end of my rope here. 230 00:11:20,922 --> 00:11:22,347 I can't sleep. I can't eat. 231 00:11:22,574 --> 00:11:24,866 Peyton Manning was accused of assaulting a woman... 232 00:11:24,926 --> 00:11:26,409 and it just kind of went away. 233 00:11:26,428 --> 00:11:28,094 I need you to do something for me, Peter. 234 00:11:28,246 --> 00:11:29,503 What is it? You name it. 235 00:11:29,597 --> 00:11:31,856 I don't want to live like this. I need... 236 00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:33,841 I need you to kill me. 237 00:11:34,010 --> 00:11:35,601 What?! Quagmire, I can't do that. 238 00:11:35,696 --> 00:11:37,344 You're-you're my best friend. 239 00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:39,197 If that's true, then you'll... do it. 240 00:11:39,348 --> 00:11:41,090 You don't know what it's been like. 241 00:11:41,109 --> 00:11:44,260 I can't remember the last time I slept... 15 minutes straight. 242 00:11:44,279 --> 00:11:46,871 It's torture, Peter... and it's driving me insane! 243 00:11:47,098 --> 00:11:49,499 Please... I'm begging you. 244 00:11:51,545 --> 00:11:53,770 (hiccups) 245 00:11:53,863 --> 00:11:55,380 Well, if it's really come to that, 246 00:11:55,607 --> 00:11:58,532 if that's what you really want, I'll do it. 247 00:11:58,552 --> 00:12:01,294 Oh, thank you, Peter. And you have to do it. 248 00:12:01,463 --> 00:12:04,113 You can't let me out of it, no matter how much I insist. 249 00:12:04,207 --> 00:12:05,873 It's done. I'll come get you tomorrow. 250 00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:08,134 Thank you, Peter... thank you so much. 251 00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:09,894 What are you doing with your Hawaiian shirts? 252 00:12:10,121 --> 00:12:11,712 I want them tightly folded 253 00:12:11,806 --> 00:12:13,973 like a flag at a military funeral. 254 00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:16,317 (playing "Aloha 'Oe") 255 00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:23,466 There's a condom in the pocket. And it's used. 256 00:12:23,559 --> 00:12:26,469 (sobbing) 257 00:12:26,562 --> 00:12:30,582 Who else but Quagmire? 258 00:12:35,830 --> 00:12:38,982 Burn. Why aren't you burning? 259 00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:40,741 -(calypso music playing) -Uh, Black Irish, Chris. 260 00:12:40,761 --> 00:12:42,485 I never burn, only tan. 261 00:12:42,578 --> 00:12:46,139 Uh, hey, Kel, how's that cocktail coming along? 262 00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:53,104 Listen, Meg, I've got a big job I've been thinking about. 263 00:12:53,256 --> 00:12:55,665 -I'm talking huge. -You're not... 264 00:12:55,758 --> 00:12:57,667 You're not seriously thinking about robbing 265 00:12:57,760 --> 00:12:59,352 -Ross Dress for Less. -Ross Dress for Less. Exactly. 266 00:12:59,504 --> 00:13:01,838 It's their Memorial Day sale this weekend. 267 00:13:01,931 --> 00:13:03,597 -Big job. -Big savings. 268 00:13:03,766 --> 00:13:05,766 That's Ross Dress for Less. 269 00:13:05,819 --> 00:13:07,768 Gonna need a hell of a driver. 270 00:13:07,788 --> 00:13:09,679 I knew I could count on you. 271 00:13:09,772 --> 00:13:11,014 What kind is this? 272 00:13:11,032 --> 00:13:12,439 It's French's. 273 00:13:12,608 --> 00:13:15,535 (babbling, slurping) 274 00:13:15,687 --> 00:13:18,797 Oh, my God, Meg's gonna commit a robbery. 275 00:13:18,948 --> 00:13:20,799 What am I gonna do? 276 00:13:21,026 --> 00:13:23,635 Chris is in distress? 277 00:13:23,711 --> 00:13:26,638 Herbert is in distress? 278 00:13:26,714 --> 00:13:28,640 Old turtle. 279 00:13:35,723 --> 00:13:36,815 Hey, Meg? 280 00:13:36,966 --> 00:13:38,817 I need to talk to you about something. 281 00:13:39,044 --> 00:13:41,653 About Ross Dress for Less. 282 00:13:41,880 --> 00:13:44,047 What? How do you know about that? 283 00:13:44,065 --> 00:13:45,398 I heard what you said in the car. 284 00:13:45,567 --> 00:13:49,143 Meg, I think you're very confused about something. 285 00:13:49,237 --> 00:13:50,995 Oh, what? Wait, wait, let me guess. 286 00:13:51,222 --> 00:13:52,980 Seymour's just using me? 287 00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:55,834 Trust me, Chris, I'm not confused about anything. 288 00:13:55,910 --> 00:13:59,579 -No, Meg... -Stop spying on me, you little creep. 289 00:13:59,731 --> 00:14:01,655 Oh, man, I got to tell somebody. 290 00:14:01,675 --> 00:14:06,094 But first, let's have a look at this sex toy drawer. 291 00:14:10,925 --> 00:14:13,409 Wow, big sex toy. 292 00:14:13,428 --> 00:14:16,688 And big savings. That's Hitachi. 293 00:14:19,601 --> 00:14:21,192 (hiccuping): Goodbye, baby girl. 294 00:14:21,344 --> 00:14:23,528 Daddy's going away for a while. 295 00:14:23,679 --> 00:14:25,846 Ugh, I can't... 296 00:14:25,866 --> 00:14:28,116 (sobbing, hiccuping) 297 00:14:30,778 --> 00:14:32,353 -(yowls) -Ow! Ouch! 298 00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:34,706 God, those claws went right through my pants. 299 00:14:34,857 --> 00:14:36,265 Oh, my God. 300 00:14:36,434 --> 00:14:37,858 Oh, my God, they're gone. 301 00:14:37,952 --> 00:14:40,753 Kitty, you did it! You broke the curse! 302 00:14:45,443 --> 00:14:46,442 (muffled scream) 303 00:14:46,461 --> 00:14:48,611 (muffled): Peter, no! They went away. 304 00:14:48,613 --> 00:14:50,221 -My hiccups are gone. -Oh, no. 305 00:14:50,373 --> 00:14:53,040 That's exactly what you said not to listen to. 306 00:14:53,134 --> 00:14:54,225 (grunts) Peter, please! 307 00:14:54,377 --> 00:14:56,377 I swear, they're gone! Listen! 308 00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:58,971 Sorry, Quagmire. I promised to take you out of your misery. 309 00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:00,881 And when I give my word on something, 310 00:15:00,901 --> 00:15:01,974 I give it my all. 311 00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:04,402 Like when I guarded Jeffrey Epstein. 312 00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:07,130 (Russian accent): We would like to see prisoner. 313 00:15:07,148 --> 00:15:09,407 -On whose authority? -Your mother. 314 00:15:09,634 --> 00:15:11,576 (sneers) 315 00:15:17,809 --> 00:15:20,901 All right, I was able to hack into the city's server. 316 00:15:20,921 --> 00:15:22,145 There's an accessible heat duct 317 00:15:22,238 --> 00:15:23,813 on the southwest side of the building. 318 00:15:23,831 --> 00:15:26,482 If we set off an explosion here... 319 00:15:26,501 --> 00:15:28,801 Meg, I'm just gonna walk in and point a gun at the cashier. 320 00:15:28,911 --> 00:15:30,336 Oh. Okay. 321 00:15:30,413 --> 00:15:33,580 Yeah. Yeah, that-that should work. 322 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:36,517 (car door opens, closes) 323 00:15:39,330 --> 00:15:40,939 Yeah, we don't need the timer, either. 324 00:15:41,090 --> 00:15:43,232 It won't be a factor in anything I do. 325 00:15:51,952 --> 00:15:53,952 You okay back there, Quagmire? 326 00:15:54,028 --> 00:15:55,027 QUAGMIRE (muffled): Why do you care 327 00:15:55,180 --> 00:15:56,195 if you're just gonna kill me anyway? 328 00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:58,957 We're still friends. Geez. 329 00:15:59,184 --> 00:16:01,942 (alarm blaring) 330 00:16:02,036 --> 00:16:05,279 That store is a disaster. 331 00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:07,373 The robes are next to the hand weights. 332 00:16:07,525 --> 00:16:08,858 (chuckles): I mean, come on. 333 00:16:08,876 --> 00:16:10,117 Go, Meg! Let's go. 334 00:16:10,211 --> 00:16:12,303 (tires squealing) 335 00:16:13,381 --> 00:16:15,548 (horn honks) 336 00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:18,810 (siren wailing) 337 00:16:18,961 --> 00:16:21,387 ♪ ♪ 338 00:16:21,539 --> 00:16:23,356 (tires screech) 339 00:16:47,065 --> 00:16:48,756 ♪ ♪ 340 00:16:58,018 --> 00:17:00,309 (sirens wailing) 341 00:17:03,339 --> 00:17:05,431 (boat horn honking) 342 00:17:05,583 --> 00:17:07,275 (bell clanging) 343 00:17:26,362 --> 00:17:27,628 ♪ ♪ 344 00:17:33,611 --> 00:17:35,261 (tires screech) 345 00:17:36,281 --> 00:17:38,890 We did it! Meg, that was... 346 00:17:39,041 --> 00:17:40,892 Wow. 347 00:17:41,043 --> 00:17:43,061 (both moan) 348 00:17:43,288 --> 00:17:46,880 You're not just using me, are you? 349 00:17:46,974 --> 00:17:48,474 What would give you that idea? 350 00:17:48,626 --> 00:17:49,809 I don't know. 351 00:17:49,961 --> 00:17:52,128 Just used to being hurt, I guess. 352 00:17:52,188 --> 00:17:54,297 Meg, in addition to being 353 00:17:54,465 --> 00:17:57,224 the most kick-ass getaway driver I have ever seen, 354 00:17:57,318 --> 00:17:59,744 I think you're the most amazing person 355 00:17:59,895 --> 00:18:01,487 I've ever met. 356 00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:02,580 Really? 357 00:18:02,807 --> 00:18:04,807 ♪ Lift up your head ♪ 358 00:18:04,826 --> 00:18:07,159 ♪ Wipe off that mascara ♪ 359 00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:09,645 ♪ Here, take my Kleenex ♪ 360 00:18:09,738 --> 00:18:12,090 ♪ Wipe that mustard away ♪ 361 00:18:12,926 --> 00:18:14,650 ♪ Show me your face ♪ 362 00:18:14,743 --> 00:18:17,261 ♪ Clean as the morning ♪ 363 00:18:17,413 --> 00:18:19,155 ♪ I know things were bad ♪ 364 00:18:19,173 --> 00:18:24,176 ♪ But now they're okay ♪ 365 00:18:24,329 --> 00:18:27,772 ♪ Suddenly Seymour. ♪ 366 00:18:27,923 --> 00:18:30,015 -(gunshot) -(grunts) -Seymour! 367 00:18:30,168 --> 00:18:32,318 (tires squealing) 368 00:18:46,184 --> 00:18:48,108 Meg, get out of here. 369 00:18:48,128 --> 00:18:51,278 -I'll take the heat for this. -What? Why? 370 00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:54,298 Because you're my sister and I love you. 371 00:18:54,450 --> 00:18:56,467 But what do we do about Seymo... 372 00:18:58,304 --> 00:18:59,211 What the...? 373 00:18:59,364 --> 00:19:01,622 Meg, there never was a Seymour. 374 00:19:01,716 --> 00:19:03,307 Think about it. 375 00:19:03,459 --> 00:19:06,126 Just hope you don't mind going fast. 376 00:19:06,146 --> 00:19:08,813 Ooh. Big, flat butt, 11 o'clock. 377 00:19:08,964 --> 00:19:09,981 I got it. 378 00:19:10,166 --> 00:19:11,632 (Meg babbling) 379 00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:12,799 (slurps) 380 00:19:12,894 --> 00:19:14,635 Oh, Seymour. 381 00:19:14,729 --> 00:19:16,154 (slurps) 382 00:19:16,381 --> 00:19:18,047 ♪ ♪ 383 00:19:18,140 --> 00:19:20,283 (imitating engine noises) 384 00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:24,053 Don't turn the wheel, please. 385 00:19:24,222 --> 00:19:27,147 I don't understand. 386 00:19:27,316 --> 00:19:29,167 I watched you in front of Ross Dress for Less. 387 00:19:29,318 --> 00:19:32,895 You were just revving the engine with your hand down your pants. 388 00:19:32,914 --> 00:19:34,246 Look, whatever's going on with you, 389 00:19:34,399 --> 00:19:36,591 we're gonna figure it out. 390 00:19:39,179 --> 00:19:41,161 Thank you, Chris. 391 00:19:41,181 --> 00:19:44,073 (grunts) What the hell? 392 00:19:44,166 --> 00:19:46,350 We'll talk later. Just go. 393 00:19:47,412 --> 00:19:49,020 Hey, you got to frickin' watch where you're going, man. 394 00:19:49,171 --> 00:19:51,597 Chris? What are you doing out here? 395 00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:53,416 Oh, y-you caught me. 396 00:19:53,434 --> 00:19:57,528 I, uh, I stole your car and went on a joyride. 397 00:19:57,680 --> 00:19:59,947 (chuckles): Yeah! 398 00:20:01,092 --> 00:20:03,701 Chris, I am very disappointed in you, 399 00:20:03,928 --> 00:20:05,686 and you are grounded, and we will talk about this 400 00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:07,121 after I kill my best friend. 401 00:20:12,879 --> 00:20:15,028 Well, Peter, I'm glad the gun jammed 402 00:20:15,048 --> 00:20:16,772 and Quagmire's still alive. 403 00:20:16,865 --> 00:20:18,290 Yeah, the gun definitely jammed 404 00:20:18,384 --> 00:20:20,276 and I didn't miss him with all six bullets, 405 00:20:20,294 --> 00:20:22,869 -that's for sure. -What are we gonna do about Meg? 406 00:20:22,964 --> 00:20:25,798 She's upstairs having very loud sex 407 00:20:25,950 --> 00:20:27,116 with her imaginary boyfriend. 408 00:20:27,134 --> 00:20:29,785 MEG (off-key): ♪ Suddenly Seymour. ♪ 409 00:20:29,804 --> 00:20:30,970 (news intro music playing) 410 00:20:31,122 --> 00:20:32,546 Maybe this has something to do with that. 411 00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:35,958 The FDA has issued a recall on four brands of mustard 412 00:20:35,977 --> 00:20:38,051 due to possible E. coli contamination. 413 00:20:38,071 --> 00:20:39,311 So far, there have been 414 00:20:39,464 --> 00:20:41,388 three confirmed cases here in Rhode Island. 415 00:20:41,407 --> 00:20:43,908 Symptoms of infection include fever, diarrhea, 416 00:20:44,135 --> 00:20:46,827 and delusions of having a criminal boyfriend. 417 00:20:48,230 --> 00:20:50,823 Wow. That Family Guy simulation was really freaky. 418 00:20:50,975 --> 00:20:53,142 It's like I was in the episode. 419 00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:56,145 I'll say. Do you want to do a Bob's Burgers? 420 00:20:56,163 --> 00:20:58,547 Dude, lead with that next time.