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00:00:02,394 --> 00:00:04,652
♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
2
00:00:04,730 --> 00:00:07,731
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
3
00:00:07,824 --> 00:00:11,343
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
4
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♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
5
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♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
6
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♪ Lucky there's a man who
positively can do ♪
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♪ All the things that make us ♪
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♪ Laugh and cry ♪
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♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
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All right, thank you very much.
11
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Guys, great news.
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My uncle just died,
13
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so we can use
his HBO Max password
14
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until they cancel
his credit card.
15
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HBO? Is that the one with
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel?
16
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No, you watch
Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
17
00:00:46,696 --> 00:00:49,106
where you also go
to buy sweatpants and cat food.
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Let's start
with Game of Thrones,
19
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which aired eight seasons
and was beloved by America
20
00:00:53,370 --> 00:00:56,346
for six-and-a-half seasons.
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♪ ♪
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♪ ♪
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(kissing, soft moaning)
24
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Sorry, Lady Lotsaclothes,
it's not happening.
25
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I shouldn't have had
that entire elk for lunch.
26
00:01:49,759 --> 00:01:51,926
That's okay, Jon Yellowsnow.
27
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You know, this has been
happening a lot
28
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after your week in Mykonos.
29
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Should I try using
the Timothée Chalamet mask?
30
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Could be worth a shot.
31
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It's a raven from
my twin sister, Queen Hearsay.
32
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She says her friend told her
that the king is dead.
33
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That's hearsay.
34
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Oh, this one just says,
"Girl, you trippin'."
35
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That's so raven.
36
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(chuckles)
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It's time.
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I must go to King's Landing
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to stake my claim
as the true and rightful heir
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to the iron throne.
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Be careful, Jon Yellowsnow.
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I will be handsome,
and that will be enough.
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♪ ♪
44
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Ah, Joe the Broken.
45
00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:39,992
I haven't seen you
in a fortnight.
46
00:02:40,143 --> 00:02:41,568
Yeah, I've been playing
Overwatch lately.
47
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-Where you headed?
-I'm going to King's Landing
48
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-to take the iron throne.
-No way.
49
00:02:45,574 --> 00:02:47,891
You're a pretty rad dude,
Jon Yellowsnow.
50
00:02:47,910 --> 00:02:50,335
Yeah, I'm a white guy with
a Jheri curl, so I have to be.
51
00:02:50,562 --> 00:02:52,896
-Mind if I come with?
-Why should I bring you?
52
00:02:53,065 --> 00:02:55,757
Because I can warg.
Check it.
53
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Ooh, that felt so good.
54
00:03:01,665 --> 00:03:02,906
I have this cool power,
55
00:03:02,925 --> 00:03:05,350
but I'm not positive
how to use it yet.
56
00:03:08,247 --> 00:03:10,004
Now that King Dad's dead,
57
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I want to sit
on the iron throne.
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Now, don't be too hasty,
Joffrey,
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you're fourth in line
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behind your brothers
Jumpen, Fallum and Splat.
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-Aah!
-Jumpen!
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-Aah!
-Fallum!
63
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-Aah!
-Splat!
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As you are the new king,
65
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I will be whispering
far too close to your ear,
66
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and you should know that I have
a special brooch that I wear.
67
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That's my character.
So, if you need a brooch,
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I'll, uh, I'll be here.
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Thanks, Lottafinger.
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Always good to have
a brooch guy.
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Hey, whose leg
do you have to hump
72
00:03:38,293 --> 00:03:40,201
to get a Dornish wine
around here?
73
00:03:40,221 --> 00:03:42,112
What's Uncle Doggian doing here?
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-I don't like him.
-Neither do I,
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but he is the paw of the king.
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He's smart,
so we need him.
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(chuckles)
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I have two skills:
I drink and I know things.
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Oh, word?
What things do you know?
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-Like, so many things.
-What's one?
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War. Tons about war.
82
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-What about it?
-It's bad.
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Like, really, super bad.
84
00:04:01,057 --> 00:04:02,724
-Is that all you know?
-No.
85
00:04:02,801 --> 00:04:05,577
Front lines, flanking...
86
00:04:05,729 --> 00:04:07,246
-planking...
-That's yoga.
87
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Uh, I think it's both, but we
can broach that subject later.
88
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Hmm? Somebody say brooch?
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00:04:11,810 --> 00:04:13,460
-No, man.
-Oh, no worries.
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00:04:21,244 --> 00:04:24,078
All hail His Grace,
Joffrey of Houses Baratheon
91
00:04:24,098 --> 00:04:25,839
and Lannister,
First of His Name,
92
00:04:25,991 --> 00:04:29,518
Lord of the Seven Kingdoms,
and High Score on Mario Kart.
93
00:04:30,587 --> 00:04:31,937
I am Jon Yellowsnow,
94
00:04:32,164 --> 00:04:34,848
the one true king
and rightful heir to the throne.
95
00:04:34,924 --> 00:04:35,999
(all gasp)
96
00:04:36,018 --> 00:04:37,183
Who's this guy?
97
00:04:37,278 --> 00:04:39,761
I'm Joe The Broken.
I can warg.
98
00:04:39,838 --> 00:04:42,005
No way, I love wargers.
Show me.
99
00:04:42,098 --> 00:04:44,265
I would, I just...
100
00:04:44,285 --> 00:04:47,327
I don't really
have to go potty right now.
101
00:04:50,032 --> 00:04:54,418
I am Daenerys Targaryen,
Mother of Dragons.
102
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Is there a problem here?
103
00:04:57,539 --> 00:05:00,023
Uh, no, no.
No, uh, n-no problem, really.
104
00:05:00,025 --> 00:05:03,026
I-I just didn't know
the Seven Kingdoms had any, um,
105
00:05:03,119 --> 00:05:06,546
strong, beautiful...
persons of color?
106
00:05:06,715 --> 00:05:07,955
Did I-did I get that right?
107
00:05:08,050 --> 00:05:10,033
Well, we out here, literal baby.
108
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Yeah. Right on. Good.
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Man, you know,
you should've heard me
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the other day,
I was-I was like--
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I was alone, by the way,
nobody heard me--
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I was like, "When are the suits
gonna make persons of color
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00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:20,986
a part of the show,
a small part of the show?"
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00:05:21,137 --> 00:05:23,304
Joffrey, we have
bigger problems than that.
115
00:05:23,398 --> 00:05:24,972
The white walkers
are on their way.
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What? How do we know
you're telling the truth?
117
00:05:27,328 --> 00:05:30,812
Because they sent
a very white walker ahead.
118
00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:33,390
Excuse me,
do you know if Costco has
119
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any of those Tommy Bahama
beach chairs left?
120
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(grunts)
121
00:05:54,096 --> 00:05:56,003
The battle's tonight, right?
I wasn't being pranked?
122
00:05:56,098 --> 00:05:57,747
STEWIE:
The white walkers
are approaching!
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-Battle stations!
-(men shouting)
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Prepare for the most epic battle
of all time
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that nobody will see
because it's too dark,
126
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and we'll say it's
because they have bad TVs.
127
00:06:06,850 --> 00:06:08,200
(groaning)
128
00:06:08,351 --> 00:06:10,535
-(men shouting)
-(horses neighing)
129
00:06:10,762 --> 00:06:12,579
Everyone! Fire!
130
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-What happened?
-CHRIS: He's dead.
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He's alive!
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He's dead again.
133
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All sorts of, trust me,
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very expensive
and groundbreaking effects.
135
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Oh, my God.
136
00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:26,868
Hey, hey, hey. Stop. Stop.
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That's us. That's us.
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Stop, man.
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00:06:30,616 --> 00:06:32,391
(horn blowing)
140
00:06:33,543 --> 00:06:36,302
-They're giving up
and running away.
-(shouting fades)
141
00:06:36,397 --> 00:06:38,638
Well, the important thing
is we all survived
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and won the battle against
the people that can't die.
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Don't worry, guys,
I'm gonna be a great king.
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00:06:51,227 --> 00:06:52,727
What are you gonna do
that's so great?
145
00:06:52,821 --> 00:06:54,821
I will make it illegal to say,
146
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:57,082
"My trainer kicked my butt
this morning."
147
00:06:57,233 --> 00:06:58,733
That's pretty good.
Anything else?
148
00:06:58,902 --> 00:07:02,103
I decree that you may post
your wedding photos once.
149
00:07:02,105 --> 00:07:04,147
That's it.
Everyone has anniversaries.
150
00:07:04,166 --> 00:07:05,907
That's for you. It's private.
151
00:07:06,042 --> 00:07:07,742
Also, Fleabag was fine.
152
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:10,429
Oh, I loved Fleabag.
153
00:07:10,580 --> 00:07:11,721
It was fine.
154
00:07:13,158 --> 00:07:15,249
Well, that's the story
of Game of Thrones,
155
00:07:15,418 --> 00:07:17,327
and you can watch it on HBO Max.
156
00:07:17,345 --> 00:07:18,662
And, hey,
while I got you here,
157
00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:21,347
why aren't the Real Sex
episodes on HBO Max?
158
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It's part of the catalogue.
159
00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:25,669
Dance with the pervert shut-in
who brung ya.
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00:07:25,687 --> 00:07:28,672
Flat white for "Hold the Door"?
161
00:07:28,690 --> 00:07:30,115
Hodor? That's me.
162
00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:37,438
That was fun, huh?
163
00:07:37,516 --> 00:07:38,682
Yeah, I love shows
164
00:07:38,700 --> 00:07:41,184
where white people argue about
who's in charge.
165
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Then you're in luck.
166
00:07:42,445 --> 00:07:44,688
The next show is
called Succession.
167
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This show is so popular
that almost 6,000 people
168
00:07:48,043 --> 00:07:49,968
in New York and Los Angeles
have seen it.
169
00:07:50,119 --> 00:07:53,388
-Surely you're joking, I mean...
-I'm joking, yes,
but not by a ton.
170
00:07:54,457 --> 00:07:56,391
♪ ♪
171
00:08:16,238 --> 00:08:18,246
♪ ♪
172
00:08:30,068 --> 00:08:31,259
(screaming)
173
00:08:34,256 --> 00:08:36,831
As you all know, I am
the most powerful man in media.
174
00:08:36,925 --> 00:08:40,644
But, like Bryan Cox, I can't
find a sport coat that fits.
175
00:08:42,097 --> 00:08:43,429
What up, dicks?
176
00:08:43,582 --> 00:08:46,191
I cuss and I sit weird
in chairs.
177
00:08:46,342 --> 00:08:49,194
Now, I'm getting on in years
here at P-Stream Industries,
178
00:08:49,345 --> 00:08:52,364
and it is time
I choose my succession.
179
00:08:52,591 --> 00:08:55,425
But I feel great, and I probably
got 30 years left in me.
180
00:08:55,443 --> 00:08:57,518
But it's time for me to step
away and give it to one of you.
181
00:08:57,538 --> 00:08:59,520
None of you are getting
this company!
182
00:08:59,689 --> 00:09:02,265
-But I need it to be one of you.
-(all gasp)
183
00:09:02,284 --> 00:09:05,952
I'm ready to step up and pee
on carpets if you need me, Dad.
184
00:09:06,104 --> 00:09:08,029
Oh, you think
you're ready, big shot?
185
00:09:08,106 --> 00:09:10,048
Have you even seen
Boss Baby once?
186
00:09:10,199 --> 00:09:13,051
-You said it was scary.
-Only one part.
187
00:09:13,278 --> 00:09:16,112
Okay, I will see everyone
at my birthday party tomorrow.
188
00:09:16,131 --> 00:09:17,797
And remember, I need you all
189
00:09:17,874 --> 00:09:19,132
to start fighting
over the company,
190
00:09:19,284 --> 00:09:20,466
but I will be here
for a long time.
191
00:09:20,619 --> 00:09:23,353
Man, I love this dad
that we all hate.
192
00:09:27,459 --> 00:09:29,125
(thick accent):
Hello, Christopher.
193
00:09:29,144 --> 00:09:31,477
I'm just gonna sit over here
194
00:09:31,554 --> 00:09:35,632
while you quietly wonder which
country I'm supposed to be from.
195
00:09:35,650 --> 00:09:37,058
Happy birthday, Dad.
196
00:09:37,152 --> 00:09:39,152
-Yeah!
-Happy birthday, Pops.
197
00:09:39,304 --> 00:09:40,895
Oh, I don't
care about birthdays.
198
00:09:40,989 --> 00:09:42,472
We brought gifts.
199
00:09:42,565 --> 00:09:43,990
Yay, birthdays!
200
00:09:44,142 --> 00:09:46,810
I'll remind you I still haven't
decided who gets the company,
201
00:09:46,903 --> 00:09:48,812
but that my decision
will not be made
202
00:09:48,830 --> 00:09:51,089
based on who gives me
the best gift.
203
00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:54,000
He-Man!
You get the company.
204
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:56,336
Wait, open mine, Dad.
205
00:09:56,430 --> 00:09:59,005
A Nintendo Switch.
You get the company.
206
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:01,933
Wait, Dad, there's one more.
207
00:10:03,161 --> 00:10:05,345
-What the hell is this?
-I-I just figured,
208
00:10:05,497 --> 00:10:07,105
you love helicopters so much,
209
00:10:07,332 --> 00:10:09,107
maybe you could pretend
you were one?
210
00:10:09,258 --> 00:10:10,942
No. Clothes is boring.
211
00:10:11,169 --> 00:10:14,195
This birthday stinks.
Nobody gets the company.
212
00:10:17,266 --> 00:10:19,284
Um, I accidentally
took another carpet whiz,
213
00:10:19,435 --> 00:10:21,678
so Lois says I have to
give one of you the company.
214
00:10:21,696 --> 00:10:25,248
I'll hear presentations at
the corporate retreat next week.
215
00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:47,812
Everyone, put rocks
on your napkins.
216
00:10:47,964 --> 00:10:49,555
There are no more rocks.
217
00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:51,374
Okay, guys, guys,
rocks are not, like,
218
00:10:51,393 --> 00:10:52,817
a magic thing, all right?
219
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:55,211
It's anything heavy,
is what the idea is.
220
00:10:55,230 --> 00:10:57,714
-(whirring blades stop)
-Now, welcome, successions.
221
00:10:57,732 --> 00:11:00,049
I'm about to die,
and I'm sharp as ever.
222
00:11:00,143 --> 00:11:01,734
Let's start the presentations.
223
00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:03,036
Brian and Stewie?
224
00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:07,891
P-Stream Industries.
What does it mean?
225
00:11:07,909 --> 00:11:09,726
Well, perhaps
we need to go back.
226
00:11:09,744 --> 00:11:12,745
-All the way bac...
-PETER: No. Just songs.
227
00:11:12,898 --> 00:11:15,507
(jaunty piano music plays)
228
00:11:15,658 --> 00:11:16,675
Hey, Bri?
229
00:11:16,902 --> 00:11:19,344
I was just thinking back
to our London trip.
230
00:11:19,495 --> 00:11:21,905
Did things there seem
a bit... odd?
231
00:11:21,998 --> 00:11:24,516
♪ Oh, in London Town,
the tube is the telly ♪
232
00:11:24,667 --> 00:11:27,168
♪ Where the gin is dry
and the feet are smelly ♪
233
00:11:27,262 --> 00:11:28,353
♪ What they call jam ♪
234
00:11:28,504 --> 00:11:30,838
-♪ We call jelly in Lond... ♪
-No.
235
00:11:30,932 --> 00:11:32,524
I hate this. Stop!
236
00:11:32,751 --> 00:11:34,842
All songs must be country duets.
237
00:11:34,936 --> 00:11:37,195
Chris and Meg, you're up.
238
00:11:38,865 --> 00:11:41,032
(playing
"Islands in the Stream")
239
00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:45,019
♪ P-Stream Industries ♪
240
00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:47,430
♪ That is what we are ♪
241
00:11:47,599 --> 00:11:51,284
♪ From one owner to another,
oh, oh. ♪
242
00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:52,711
Stop!
243
00:11:52,862 --> 00:11:55,380
After watching how bad
you guys are at singing songs,
244
00:11:55,531 --> 00:11:57,957
I've decided I'm staying
at P-Stream Industries.
245
00:11:58,051 --> 00:11:59,867
(all gasping)
246
00:11:59,961 --> 00:12:02,295
Look, a lot of people
say P-Stream is weak,
247
00:12:02,422 --> 00:12:04,630
but the truth is
P-Stream has never been
248
00:12:04,783 --> 00:12:05,965
stronger or more vital.
249
00:12:06,117 --> 00:12:07,633
When I chose
to bifurcate P-Stream
250
00:12:07,802 --> 00:12:09,285
people said it was
gonna be a mess.
251
00:12:09,378 --> 00:12:12,379
And sure, there's been times
when P-Stream's been in the red.
252
00:12:12,474 --> 00:12:16,234
It hurt, but this isn't the time
for P-Stream to be yellow.
253
00:12:16,311 --> 00:12:17,977
It's clear now.
I am staying.
254
00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:19,720
Was that just so...
255
00:12:19,889 --> 00:12:21,481
Yeah, it was just about pee,
but I'm staying.
256
00:12:21,649 --> 00:12:23,575
And I'm running the company
with Big Bird,
257
00:12:23,802 --> 00:12:24,984
since he's at HBO now.
258
00:12:25,136 --> 00:12:27,078
I'm actually
Gwendoline Christie.
259
00:12:27,230 --> 00:12:29,655
I play Brienne
on Game of Thrones.
260
00:12:29,808 --> 00:12:31,824
I fear I may be a bit late.
261
00:12:31,977 --> 00:12:33,251
You get the company.
262
00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:40,833
Peter, pick a better show.
263
00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:42,652
I was barely in that.
264
00:12:42,670 --> 00:12:44,095
What HBO show do you want to do?
265
00:12:44,322 --> 00:12:46,413
Easy. Big Little Lies.
266
00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:48,341
Isn't that a show
about five women?
267
00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:51,752
Oh, I suppose it would be better
if it were about five men?
268
00:12:51,772 --> 00:12:53,772
Now that's interesting.
269
00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:56,024
♪ ♪
270
00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:17,462
♪ ♪
271
00:13:28,550 --> 00:13:30,517
(sirens blaring)
272
00:13:40,395 --> 00:13:41,878
How bad is it?
273
00:13:41,896 --> 00:13:43,613
Real bad.
274
00:13:45,066 --> 00:13:46,549
Now, why would a person poop
275
00:13:46,568 --> 00:13:49,068
at the bottom
of a school staircase?
276
00:13:49,220 --> 00:13:51,830
And why are all the men
dressed like Audrey Hepburn
277
00:13:51,981 --> 00:13:53,890
and the women like Elvis?
278
00:13:53,908 --> 00:13:56,334
It was
Peter Griffin's idea, sir.
279
00:13:56,485 --> 00:13:59,987
For some reason, Peter always
wants to dress like a woman.
280
00:14:00,081 --> 00:14:01,731
Just as a joke.
281
00:14:01,824 --> 00:14:03,066
Yeah, I sniffed the poop.
282
00:14:03,234 --> 00:14:05,084
I didn't roll in it.
I wanted to.
283
00:14:05,236 --> 00:14:07,345
Personally, I think it
all started with that incident
284
00:14:07,496 --> 00:14:10,682
with the Monterey five
on orientation day.
285
00:14:14,929 --> 00:14:17,096
Oh, my God, I love your shirt.
286
00:14:17,248 --> 00:14:19,173
I wear it because I'm poor.
287
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:21,175
That's charming.
I really like you.
288
00:14:21,252 --> 00:14:22,602
Even though I'm poor?
289
00:14:22,754 --> 00:14:26,105
Hon, I like you
because you're poor.
290
00:14:26,257 --> 00:14:29,183
Chris and Peter became
a little team after that.
291
00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:32,945
I even saw them holding hands
once under the pier.
292
00:14:33,098 --> 00:14:34,855
Yeah, as a joke.
293
00:14:34,933 --> 00:14:37,358
This is my new
poor friend, Chris.
294
00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:39,860
I'm Joe. I sometimes have
soft-focus shower sex
295
00:14:39,954 --> 00:14:41,045
with my abusive wife.
296
00:14:41,197 --> 00:14:42,213
I'm Quagmire.
297
00:14:42,365 --> 00:14:43,864
I'm rich,
so I named my daughter
298
00:14:43,884 --> 00:14:46,700
after a recently
gentrified city: Boise.
299
00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:47,701
What's your kid's name?
300
00:14:47,795 --> 00:14:49,554
Jacksonville.
301
00:14:49,781 --> 00:14:50,889
That's bad.
302
00:14:51,116 --> 00:14:52,557
(excited shouting)
303
00:14:52,784 --> 00:14:55,310
-Daddy!
-Hey, buddy.
304
00:14:56,545 --> 00:14:58,062
Eyes and ears, please.
305
00:14:58,214 --> 00:15:00,139
Somebody bullied
little Boise today.
306
00:15:00,291 --> 00:15:03,384
They said her dad
had the cheapest Tesla.
307
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:04,794
The one you can't
drive very far.
308
00:15:04,812 --> 00:15:05,795
(all gasp)
309
00:15:05,813 --> 00:15:07,296
I was an early adopter.
310
00:15:07,390 --> 00:15:09,532
Boise, point to the kid
who said that.
311
00:15:17,751 --> 00:15:20,826
-Jacksonville, did you say it?
-No.
312
00:15:20,979 --> 00:15:23,162
He's lying!
He needs to apologize.
313
00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:24,981
He didn't do anything.
314
00:15:24,999 --> 00:15:26,649
This isn't over.
Come on, Boise.
315
00:15:26,668 --> 00:15:30,470
Let's go get $20-rhubarb
nonsense ice cream.
316
00:15:34,750 --> 00:15:38,161
Just an FYI, I say a lot
with my hand over my heart
317
00:15:38,179 --> 00:15:40,179
so you know I'm being sincere.
318
00:15:40,331 --> 00:15:41,847
We love that you're here.
319
00:15:41,942 --> 00:15:43,474
We love being here.
320
00:15:43,701 --> 00:15:45,777
I've never had coffee
by the water before.
321
00:15:45,928 --> 00:15:47,353
Since you're not from here,
322
00:15:47,563 --> 00:15:49,338
can I ask if you've been
to a Burger King
323
00:15:49,432 --> 00:15:51,598
and if it's true
they'll give anyone a crown?
324
00:15:51,767 --> 00:15:52,933
I've definitely been in them,
325
00:15:52,953 --> 00:15:55,995
but I'm not positive
about the crown thing.
326
00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:02,368
Be careful in Monterey.
327
00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:04,870
It's not just outdoor
fireplace wine shops
328
00:16:04,965 --> 00:16:07,799
and the opening credits bridge
that's actually in Big Sur.
329
00:16:08,026 --> 00:16:09,634
People talk
behind your back here.
330
00:16:09,861 --> 00:16:11,194
But you don't?
331
00:16:11,287 --> 00:16:12,953
No, I don't play those games.
332
00:16:12,973 --> 00:16:16,224
Hey, I'll be right back.
I'm gonna grab another napkin.
333
00:16:17,460 --> 00:16:19,560
Boy, that guy Chris
kind of sucks, eh?
334
00:16:21,130 --> 00:16:24,040
I want you and Jacksonville to
come to Stewie's birthday party
335
00:16:24,058 --> 00:16:25,966
at my all-glass house
this weekend.
336
00:16:25,986 --> 00:16:29,278
Thank you, Peter.
That sounds so civil.
337
00:16:32,475 --> 00:16:35,142
Back to the BK thing--
a Whopper Jr. isn't, like,
338
00:16:35,161 --> 00:16:37,161
younger than a Whopper, right,
it's just a name?
339
00:16:37,313 --> 00:16:39,238
Yeah, it's just
a smaller version.
340
00:16:39,390 --> 00:16:40,832
Yeah, that's what
Wikipedia said.
341
00:16:41,059 --> 00:16:42,483
I don't know why
you'd move from a place
342
00:16:42,577 --> 00:16:43,668
that has a Burger King.
343
00:16:43,745 --> 00:16:46,004
I can't really say why I moved.
344
00:16:46,231 --> 00:16:47,505
Why did you move?
345
00:16:47,656 --> 00:16:49,465
I can't really say.
346
00:16:51,569 --> 00:16:54,328
Sorry. I swims around here
because sometimes
347
00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:57,907
the ladies don't finish
their briocheses.
348
00:16:57,925 --> 00:16:59,425
You should take an
intense-face run
349
00:16:59,577 --> 00:17:01,144
at Backstory Beach.
350
00:17:04,858 --> 00:17:07,025
♪ ♪
351
00:17:17,595 --> 00:17:19,495
(sobbing)
352
00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:25,460
(indistinct conversations)
353
00:17:27,455 --> 00:17:29,789
Hey, cuties.
Jacksonville, if you'd like,
354
00:17:29,924 --> 00:17:31,123
the kids are in Stewie's room
355
00:17:31,276 --> 00:17:33,793
hitting the nanny
with piñata sticks.
356
00:17:33,961 --> 00:17:35,961
Wow, what a great house.
357
00:17:36,114 --> 00:17:38,539
Thanks.
It used to be an Apple Store.
358
00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:40,707
I probably shouldn't
keep the glass so clean
359
00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:42,042
during migration season.
360
00:17:42,062 --> 00:17:43,286
Where do you guys live?
361
00:17:43,304 --> 00:17:45,546
We live under a lifeguard tower.
362
00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:47,306
I love how poor you are.
363
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,475
What's Chris doing here?
His kid's a bully.
364
00:17:49,627 --> 00:17:51,961
Just tell us the deal
with Taco Bells, then leave.
365
00:17:51,979 --> 00:17:54,463
Specifically, I'd like to know
if there are actually bells,
366
00:17:54,598 --> 00:17:56,890
-or if it's just tacos.
-Just tacos.
367
00:17:57,911 --> 00:18:00,745
I also think Chris should leave,
but wonder if he'd tell me
368
00:18:00,896 --> 00:18:02,638
if I'm saying this right:
369
00:18:02,657 --> 00:18:03,823
Sbarro.
370
00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:06,918
Like that? The "s" and "b"
really go together?
371
00:18:07,069 --> 00:18:08,735
Cleveland, you agree
with me, right?
372
00:18:08,830 --> 00:18:10,313
Well, my wife and I do yoga,
373
00:18:10,406 --> 00:18:11,997
so I don't have to pick a side.
374
00:18:12,092 --> 00:18:14,926
Fine. We're leaving in a huff.
375
00:18:15,077 --> 00:18:17,970
-Cleveland, you leaving.
-Na-ima-stay.
376
00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:22,007
Hey, so can I meet your wife?
377
00:18:22,160 --> 00:18:23,326
No, she's playing
with her trains.
378
00:18:23,419 --> 00:18:25,177
There's tension
in our relationship,
379
00:18:25,330 --> 00:18:26,512
but I can't say why.
380
00:18:26,664 --> 00:18:28,272
-Why?
-I can't say.
381
00:18:29,592 --> 00:18:31,776
I can't believe
we're doing Big Little Lies,
382
00:18:32,003 --> 00:18:33,927
and I'm the (bleep) train guy.
383
00:18:33,947 --> 00:18:36,197
♪ ♪
384
00:18:40,345 --> 00:18:42,495
(indistinct conversations)
385
00:18:44,866 --> 00:18:46,607
So it's decided.
We ask Chris
386
00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:48,684
about the Wendy's Frosty,
and if it's a milkshake
387
00:18:48,703 --> 00:18:51,871
or ice cream, then we make him
and his bully son move.
388
00:18:51,965 --> 00:18:54,966
(sniffs)
Hey, you guys smell that?
389
00:18:55,117 --> 00:18:56,876
(sniffs)
Smells like poop.
390
00:18:56,970 --> 00:18:59,545
Oh, my God!
Somebody pooped
391
00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:01,180
at the bottom of the stairs!
392
00:19:02,700 --> 00:19:03,808
It was Chris.
393
00:19:03,959 --> 00:19:06,978
What? N-No.
There is poop down there,
394
00:19:07,129 --> 00:19:08,795
but I would never do that.
395
00:19:08,815 --> 00:19:09,796
Oh, this settles it.
396
00:19:09,891 --> 00:19:11,040
You and your son are psychos,
397
00:19:11,042 --> 00:19:12,299
and you need to move.
398
00:19:12,426 --> 00:19:14,318
It wasn't me!
399
00:19:14,470 --> 00:19:15,820
PETER:
He's telling the truth.
400
00:19:16,047 --> 00:19:17,304
It's my poop.
401
00:19:17,323 --> 00:19:18,063
(all gasp)
402
00:19:18,216 --> 00:19:19,732
Peter, why would you poop
403
00:19:19,884 --> 00:19:21,308
at the bottom of the stairs?
404
00:19:21,477 --> 00:19:22,885
I didn't. I pooped in the
middle of the stairs, and it
405
00:19:22,978 --> 00:19:25,888
slinky'd down to the bottom.
It was very crazy to watch.
406
00:19:25,907 --> 00:19:27,665
-Did you film it?
-I should have filmed it, yeah.
407
00:19:27,816 --> 00:19:29,167
Why'd you do it, Peter?
408
00:19:30,319 --> 00:19:32,486
I eat all fiber
and I can't poop at home
409
00:19:32,505 --> 00:19:35,489
because my bathroom is all glass
and faces the ocean.
410
00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:38,067
The boats and fishes
look at me.
411
00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:39,493
Why don't you get
a street-facing bathroom?
412
00:19:39,662 --> 00:19:42,071
Lois says it messes up
the aesthetic of the house.
413
00:19:42,164 --> 00:19:43,681
That's why there's
tension in our marriage
414
00:19:43,832 --> 00:19:46,242
and why Lois spends
all her time with the trains.
415
00:19:46,260 --> 00:19:48,835
You're not alone
in this, sweetie.
416
00:19:48,855 --> 00:19:50,521
Lois is such a monster!
417
00:19:50,673 --> 00:19:54,174
Fellas, did one of you poop
at the bottom of the stairs?
418
00:19:54,268 --> 00:19:56,235
♪ ♪
419
00:20:01,183 --> 00:20:02,516
ALL:
We all did.
420
00:20:02,535 --> 00:20:03,868
In the middle,
and it slinky'd down.
421
00:20:04,037 --> 00:20:06,537
-Did you happen to film that?
-I should have filmed it.
422
00:20:06,689 --> 00:20:09,281
That was the beginning
of Peter's Law.
423
00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:11,434
Because of the Monterey five,
424
00:20:11,527 --> 00:20:14,212
from that day forward,
Peter's Law stipulated
425
00:20:14,363 --> 00:20:16,363
that every Monterey residence
is required to have
426
00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:19,675
at least one "away from
the ocean" facing toilet.
427
00:20:23,130 --> 00:20:24,305
This is better.
428
00:20:29,804 --> 00:20:31,878
Well, I, for one,
am happy to be back
429
00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:33,456
to regular, old Family Guy.
430
00:20:33,549 --> 00:20:36,049
All-women show
and I'm playing with trains.
431
00:20:36,069 --> 00:20:37,960
Yep, it was fun
playing dress-up,
432
00:20:37,979 --> 00:20:39,295
but I think we can all agree
433
00:20:39,313 --> 00:20:40,813
that for Sunday night
entertainment,
434
00:20:40,907 --> 00:20:42,982
Fox is the place to be.
435
00:20:44,427 --> 00:20:47,578
Do you know those three shows
we spent the night belittling
436
00:20:47,730 --> 00:20:49,580
have 114 Emmys
437
00:20:49,732 --> 00:20:51,474
to our zero?
438
00:20:51,492 --> 00:20:53,542
("Frolic" by Luciano Michelini
playing)