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And now,
the history channel presents
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00:00:41,520 --> 00:00:45,160
the true story of Henry Ford.
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00:00:45,230 --> 00:00:47,600
This is my
Jew flattening machine.
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00:00:47,660 --> 00:00:49,130
It'll flatten any Jew.
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00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:50,500
Simply climb behind the wheel,
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00:00:50,570 --> 00:00:52,230
drive it towards a Jew,
and flatten him.
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Could you also use it
just to drive
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00:00:53,900 --> 00:00:55,440
from place to place and stuff?
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00:00:55,510 --> 00:00:56,970
It-it's a Jew
flattening machine.
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It's not what it's designed for.
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But you could use it that way?
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Yeah, yeah, you cou...
Yeah, yeah, you-you could
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also use the Mona Lisa
as a placemat. God.
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Hey, guys.
Oh, hey, quagmire.
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How was marching band practice?
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Peter, you know
this is a pilot's uniform.
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It represents years
of specialized training.
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Yeah, well, you know
what else takes years
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of specialized training?
Crossing your eyes.
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Aah! Aah! Aah!
Too far! Too far!
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Hold still.
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Thank you,
Korean sweatshop animator.
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You've earned
your nickel this week.
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Where're you coming
from, quagmire?
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I had to fly to Aruba,
so I brought my mom along
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with my "friends and family"
discount.
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Did you...
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Yes, Joe, I got you a magnet.
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Where do you even
put all those magnets, Joe?
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Well, you know I have
that fridge in the garage
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with bags of blood
in my blood type?
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What's "friends and family"?
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Oh, airline employees
can get discounted tickets
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for family and close friends.
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What? How-how come
you've never done that for us?
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If I'm being honest,
I've also got
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a few Celeste pizzas
in that fridge.
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I don't know, I-I guess
I just figured you guys
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always have to work,
or you're with your kids.
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00:02:02,310 --> 00:02:03,833
But sure, yeah,
I could take you somewhere.
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I'm going to San Francisco next
week. You guys want to come?
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00:02:06,380 --> 00:02:08,080
San Francisco?
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00:02:08,140 --> 00:02:10,040
That city from and the band
played on and milk?
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I'm in!
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Yeah, thanks, quagmire.
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Oh, wow, this'll be great.
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Hey, can you make us X-Men?
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What a surprise.
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00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:28,300
Well, I'm off to San Francisco
with the guys.
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00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:31,000
Okay, I'm off to Hilton head
with the girls.
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00:02:31,070 --> 00:02:32,270
You what?
Peter,
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I told you about this
a month ago.
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I'm going with Bonnie and Donna
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to Donna's sister's time share.
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Well, we can't both
go on a trip at the same time.
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I'm sorry, Peter, but I already
have a taxi waiting.
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All right, I'll go
tell the guys I'm not going.
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00:02:46,580 --> 00:02:49,180
Why is he taking his suitcase
to tell the guys?
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You guys, come on, we got to
go now. Let's go, move it.
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I'm in the shower.
It doesn't matter,
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we're stealing Lois' cab.
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Son of a...
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Oh, and the idiot
took my suitcase.
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Aw, he was taking me with him.
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Ah, San Francisco.
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Aah! San Francisco!
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So what are we gonna do first?
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I want to see
the golden gate bridge.
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00:03:19,020 --> 00:03:20,480
I want to see Lombard street.
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00:03:20,550 --> 00:03:22,050
I want to see
Ghirardelli square.
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Guys, guys.
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Let's get lesbian
haircuts and see 'em all.
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All right, the gay jokes
are out of the way,
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now let's get down to business.
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Okay, guys, this is the
original Levi jeans factory,
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created by Levi Strauss
in the year 1853
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so that gold miners could wear a
comfortable yet durable fabric.
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This is boring.
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Well, then you
plan the vacation!
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Aah!
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00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:10,230
Peter, Peter, calm down,
it-it's okay,
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00:04:10,300 --> 00:04:11,563
we'll-we'll do
whatever you want.
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All right, if you promise.
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I was thinkin' we could
tuck our shirts into our pants,
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00:04:15,470 --> 00:04:18,270
put on huge helmets,
and ride segways.
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We're not from here!
We're not from here!
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You guys, look.
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It's golden state warriors
star Steph curry.
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Oh, my god, Steph,
I'm such a big fan.
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Thanks.
It's nice to meet you.
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Hey, I know we just met,
but can I sit on your lap
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during your next
post-game press conference?
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Sure, I don't see why not.
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This is exciting
for the whole bay area,
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to be just four games away
from the championship...
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00:04:43,500 --> 00:04:44,800
Dad, I dooked.
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00:04:44,870 --> 00:04:46,790
That other team's not just
gonna go away, though.
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We've got to stay focused, keep
doing what we've been doing.
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Fat lady.
Dad, dad, a fat lady.
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Yeah, I-i see her, Peter.
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Make her go.
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That's not
how we talk to people.
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Make her go.
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I'll leave.
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Yay!
I'm learning bad lessons.
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Wow. So that
was San Francisco.
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I didn't realize
how hilly it was gonna be.
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Thanks again
for taking us, quagmire.
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Hey, no problem.
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Hey, you know, we're here early.
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You guys want a little
tour of the plane?
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Yeah, that'd be great.
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Normally I'd just
go to Hudson news
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and pretend to be
the most important guy there.
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Can I help you?
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Yes, I will have eight dasanis
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and a JD Power & associates.
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Wow, this place is cool.
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00:05:36,220 --> 00:05:38,250
Yeah. What do
all these buttons do?
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Like, what's this red one?
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Oh, that's a voice filter,
so the passengers always think
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the pilot is a 60-year-old
Midwestern white man.
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What?
That's impossible.
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Hi y'all, this is Cleveland.
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Good afternoon, folks,
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00:05:50,700 --> 00:05:52,870
this is captain Dale Clark
up here in the flight deck.
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We're way up in the air.
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We've reached our cruising
altitude of 37,000 feet.
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00:05:58,440 --> 00:06:01,210
Y'all get ready to watch
big momma's house.
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00:06:01,280 --> 00:06:02,560
Our in-flight
entertainment today
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00:06:02,610 --> 00:06:04,410
will be under the Tuscan sun.
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00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:05,650
Ooh, I like that.
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I hear it's good.
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00:06:07,150 --> 00:06:09,120
Hey, what's this button?
"Autopilot"?
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00:06:09,190 --> 00:06:11,790
Oh, that allows the plane to fly
itself when I need a break.
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00:06:11,850 --> 00:06:13,120
W-what do you
mean, "a break"?
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You don't have to fly the plane?
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00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:17,120
Of course I do. I just take
a short break sometimes.
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00:06:17,190 --> 00:06:19,530
Short break?
It looks like you had time
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00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:22,430
to put together
the 10,000-piece Lego Hogwarts.
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00:06:22,500 --> 00:06:25,300
You don't have to touch it, Joe,
you can just say you noticed it.
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00:06:25,370 --> 00:06:27,270
And what's this booth over here?
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00:06:27,340 --> 00:06:28,840
Oh, that's my
back-in-time box.
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00:06:28,910 --> 00:06:30,910
I go inside,
magically go back in time,
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00:06:30,970 --> 00:06:33,440
and then come out and react
to the fact that we're flying.
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00:06:35,850 --> 00:06:37,850
By god, we're levitating.
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00:06:37,910 --> 00:06:39,750
That's just a box
full of costumes.
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00:06:39,820 --> 00:06:41,450
It's my back-in-time box!
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00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:43,580
What the hell, quagmire?
So-so, basically,
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00:06:43,650 --> 00:06:44,850
your job is just goofin' off.
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00:06:44,920 --> 00:06:45,920
That's not true.
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00:06:45,990 --> 00:06:47,590
I broke Gandalf in half.
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00:06:47,660 --> 00:06:48,660
It's Dumbledore!
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00:06:48,730 --> 00:06:50,183
Screw you guys.
You know, being a pilot
155
00:06:50,190 --> 00:06:52,190
is hard work.
Look, I tried to be nice
156
00:06:52,260 --> 00:06:53,830
and take you fellas
on a free trip,
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00:06:53,900 --> 00:06:56,160
and all you can do
is crap all over my job.
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I was a Navy pilot, you jerks.
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Get the hell out of my cockpit.
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00:07:02,540 --> 00:07:05,470
Joke's on him. I farted
just before he kicked us out.
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00:07:05,540 --> 00:07:07,640
Ugh. Oh, god!
162
00:07:12,780 --> 00:07:15,450
All right, let's see what's
in the in-flight magazine.
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00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:17,390
Muscular old guy.
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00:07:17,450 --> 00:07:19,550
Already filled-in
crossword puzzle.
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00:07:19,620 --> 00:07:22,760
Ooh, this is food
for different routes I'm not on.
166
00:07:24,460 --> 00:07:26,090
All right,
time to use the potty.
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00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:28,560
Don't say "potty."
You're an adult.
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00:07:34,570 --> 00:07:36,970
Okay, nobody move!
169
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:39,940
Oh, my god, those guys
in first class have guns.
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00:07:40,010 --> 00:07:41,780
Cleveland, just be happy
with what you have.
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00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:43,010
Don't envy people.
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00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:44,810
No, Peter, we're being hijacked.
173
00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:46,480
Close the cockpit door!
174
00:07:50,690 --> 00:07:52,620
This plane now belongs to us.
175
00:07:52,690 --> 00:07:54,120
You move, you're dead.
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00:07:54,190 --> 00:07:56,190
So nobody try to get smart.
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00:07:56,260 --> 00:07:58,790
Mm, page 100. Mm.
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00:08:05,500 --> 00:08:07,100
We have a hijacking in progress.
179
00:08:07,170 --> 00:08:08,740
Our flight has been...
180
00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:10,840
Oh, damn it,
they jammed the transmission.
181
00:08:10,910 --> 00:08:13,470
I'm gonna have to go to
the backup communication system.
182
00:08:17,980 --> 00:08:19,580
Hello?
Can you hear me?
183
00:08:19,650 --> 00:08:20,980
This is flight 364.
184
00:08:21,050 --> 00:08:22,420
We're being hijacked.
185
00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:23,650
I can hear you... oh!
186
00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:30,160
This is your last chance.
187
00:08:30,230 --> 00:08:32,660
Open the door,
or your copilot gets it.
188
00:08:32,730 --> 00:08:34,690
No. I'm landing
at the closest airfield,
189
00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:37,460
which is less than an hour away.
So just let him go,
190
00:08:37,530 --> 00:08:39,430
'cause you're not
getting control of this plane.
191
00:08:40,540 --> 00:08:43,000
Aah! Jimmy! Oh, my god!
192
00:08:43,070 --> 00:08:44,300
Why are you doing this?
193
00:08:44,370 --> 00:08:45,770
America needs to be punished
194
00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:48,780
for supporting the other side
of my country's civil war.
195
00:08:48,840 --> 00:08:50,140
Which country?
196
00:08:50,210 --> 00:08:51,550
Do you really want to know,
197
00:08:51,610 --> 00:08:52,950
or are you just asking because
198
00:08:53,020 --> 00:08:54,850
we're gonna be on
a plane for a while
199
00:08:54,920 --> 00:08:57,280
and you think you
should make small talk?
200
00:08:57,350 --> 00:08:59,120
The second thing.
201
00:08:59,190 --> 00:09:00,550
Open the door, or I'll start
202
00:09:00,620 --> 00:09:03,120
executing passengers.
203
00:09:03,190 --> 00:09:06,430
Man, coming on this trip
was a terrible idea.
204
00:09:06,500 --> 00:09:08,530
I know, now I wish
I'd just stayed home
205
00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:10,860
and finished my
remake of inside out.
206
00:09:10,930 --> 00:09:12,170
I'm joy.
207
00:09:12,230 --> 00:09:13,600
I'm sadness.
208
00:09:13,670 --> 00:09:14,430
I'm anger.
209
00:09:14,500 --> 00:09:15,740
I'm disgust.
210
00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:17,800
I'm poo.
211
00:09:18,910 --> 00:09:21,640
Ooh, I need to use the bathroom.
212
00:09:21,710 --> 00:09:23,910
Yay! I win!
213
00:09:29,820 --> 00:09:31,700
We interrupt this program
with a special report.
214
00:09:31,750 --> 00:09:33,950
A flight from
San Francisco to quahog
215
00:09:34,020 --> 00:09:36,520
has lost contact
with air traffic control.
216
00:09:36,590 --> 00:09:39,330
Oh, my god,
that's your father's flight.
217
00:09:39,390 --> 00:09:40,460
Government officials
218
00:09:40,530 --> 00:09:41,923
are monitoring
the situation closely.
219
00:09:41,930 --> 00:09:44,400
I'll be here to update you
as this story progresses.
220
00:09:44,470 --> 00:09:46,830
Coming up on the midday news,
a couple in their 30s
221
00:09:46,900 --> 00:09:49,300
gets married without their dog
being in the wedding.
222
00:09:49,370 --> 00:09:51,540
You're not gonna
believe their story.
223
00:09:54,580 --> 00:09:55,710
What's it gonna be?
224
00:09:55,780 --> 00:09:57,180
Are you going to open this door,
225
00:09:57,250 --> 00:09:58,730
or am I going to start
killing people?
226
00:09:58,750 --> 00:10:00,110
I'm not opening it.
227
00:10:00,180 --> 00:10:02,350
Excuse me, I'd just like to ask
the mom behind me
228
00:10:02,420 --> 00:10:04,780
who told me to stop watching
game of thrones on my laptop
229
00:10:04,850 --> 00:10:08,790
if I'm still "the worst person
on this plane."
230
00:10:08,860 --> 00:10:10,520
You, fat guy.
Get up here!
231
00:10:10,590 --> 00:10:11,930
Aah!
232
00:10:13,630 --> 00:10:14,760
Last chance.
Open the door,
233
00:10:14,830 --> 00:10:16,560
or this idiot gets it.
234
00:10:16,630 --> 00:10:18,223
Don't open it, quagmire.
It's not worth it.
235
00:10:18,230 --> 00:10:19,400
Okay.
236
00:10:19,470 --> 00:10:20,730
Wait... wait, what?
237
00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:22,440
That-that was quick.
238
00:10:22,500 --> 00:10:24,940
I'm sorry, Peter, but I have
to think about the whole plane.
239
00:10:25,010 --> 00:10:27,310
There's over 150
passengers back there,
240
00:10:27,380 --> 00:10:29,340
several of whom are in
our commander's club,
241
00:10:29,410 --> 00:10:31,910
and to them I'd like to
issue a special welcome.
242
00:10:31,980 --> 00:10:33,510
Oh, man, we got to help Peter!
243
00:10:33,580 --> 00:10:36,250
Those crazy European guys
are gonna kill him!
244
00:10:36,320 --> 00:10:38,590
You know, I have a gun
in the bag I checked.
245
00:10:38,650 --> 00:10:40,020
If we can get to the galley,
246
00:10:40,090 --> 00:10:42,590
we can take the elevator
down to the cargo hold.
247
00:10:42,660 --> 00:10:44,420
Good idea, Joe.
248
00:10:44,490 --> 00:10:48,030
Oh, man, it feels like we're in
one of those hijacking movies.
249
00:10:48,100 --> 00:10:50,530
You're right, it does. There's
even an impatient businessman
250
00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:52,530
who really wants to
reach his destination
251
00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:54,970
so he can conduct more business.
252
00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:56,570
Can't you see how
important I am?
253
00:10:56,640 --> 00:10:58,570
My shirt is blue, but
the collar is white.
254
00:10:58,640 --> 00:11:00,510
It's the same shirt!
255
00:11:00,580 --> 00:11:02,510
Quick, he's distracted.
256
00:11:09,890 --> 00:11:12,650
"Get off my plane."
257
00:11:12,720 --> 00:11:14,720
"Get off my plane."
258
00:11:14,790 --> 00:11:16,220
What's that, now?
Hmm?
259
00:11:16,290 --> 00:11:17,860
Nothing.
260
00:11:17,930 --> 00:11:20,530
"Always bet on black."
261
00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:22,030
"Always bet on black."
262
00:11:22,100 --> 00:11:24,030
Did you say something?
I don't think so.
263
00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:27,200
"Double trouble!"
"Double trouble!"
264
00:11:27,270 --> 00:11:29,040
That's it. We found it.
265
00:11:29,100 --> 00:11:30,700
What the hell?!
266
00:11:30,770 --> 00:11:33,610
Hey! Two of the passengers
are missing!
267
00:11:33,680 --> 00:11:35,380
Okay, you guys watch
the main cabin.
268
00:11:35,440 --> 00:11:36,580
I'll go find them.
269
00:11:36,650 --> 00:11:38,880
I'll take this fat guy
as a human shield.
270
00:11:38,950 --> 00:11:41,010
Oh, nice. Last guy
picked for dodgeball,
271
00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:43,220
first guy for human shield.
272
00:11:46,660 --> 00:11:48,690
Everybody be quiet!
273
00:11:48,760 --> 00:11:50,460
There's another update!
274
00:11:50,530 --> 00:11:51,770
Good afternoon. I'm tom Tucker.
275
00:11:51,790 --> 00:11:53,960
The search for
a missing airliner continues,
276
00:11:54,030 --> 00:11:57,130
as speculation grows that
the plane has been hijacked.
277
00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:59,170
Oh, this is all so awful!
278
00:11:59,230 --> 00:12:02,500
What will our lives be like
if our husbands don't make it?
279
00:12:27,630 --> 00:12:31,200
Oh, my god!
Now I want dad to die!
280
00:12:34,270 --> 00:12:36,770
Hey, Joe, look at me.
281
00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:38,710
Do I look like Mickey the mouse?
282
00:12:38,770 --> 00:12:40,440
Get out of people's stuff!
283
00:12:40,510 --> 00:12:42,340
Ah, here's my bag.
284
00:12:45,610 --> 00:12:48,280
Hey! What are you two
doing down here?
285
00:12:50,650 --> 00:12:53,390
Oh, someone's shipping
live lobsters.
286
00:12:53,460 --> 00:12:54,820
Yum.
287
00:12:54,890 --> 00:12:55,820
Prepare to die.
288
00:12:55,890 --> 00:12:57,020
You first!
289
00:12:57,090 --> 00:12:59,360
That's what you think.
290
00:13:01,930 --> 00:13:03,860
Peter! Grab on to something!
291
00:13:03,930 --> 00:13:06,470
Uh-oh. I grabbed my own belt.
292
00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:29,590
Attention, passengers,
I know we're being hijacked,
293
00:13:29,660 --> 00:13:31,660
but I would be remiss
if I didn't point out
294
00:13:31,730 --> 00:13:34,560
that we're presently passing
over Yosemite national park.
295
00:13:34,630 --> 00:13:37,660
Wow! That is
truly awe-inspiring!
296
00:13:37,730 --> 00:13:39,230
It certainly is.
297
00:13:39,300 --> 00:13:41,230
And you know what you don't see
from up here?
298
00:13:41,300 --> 00:13:42,900
Borders.
299
00:13:49,180 --> 00:13:52,050
Die in hell, eurotrash!
300
00:13:52,110 --> 00:13:53,610
Hang on, Peter!
301
00:13:55,750 --> 00:13:58,280
Holy crap, that was close.
302
00:13:58,350 --> 00:14:00,513
Joe, how'd you know that lever
would open the landing gear?
303
00:14:00,520 --> 00:14:02,360
Wheels are my expertise, Peter.
304
00:14:02,420 --> 00:14:05,490
I notice every wheel in
a room as soon as I enter.
305
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:11,900
Special delivery
from the U.S. of a.!
306
00:14:13,640 --> 00:14:14,630
Aw, rats.
307
00:14:14,700 --> 00:14:16,470
My bullets
are in my shaving kit.
308
00:14:23,250 --> 00:14:25,580
Get off my pl...
Double trouble!
309
00:14:25,650 --> 00:14:28,150
Sorry.
Come on, man!
310
00:14:29,790 --> 00:14:31,150
Oh, my god, you guys did it!
311
00:14:31,220 --> 00:14:32,350
We're saved!
312
00:14:32,420 --> 00:14:33,850
Yep, we wrapped this up quicker
313
00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:36,060
than the treaty signing
at Appomattox.
314
00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:38,730
So, if I sign this,
the war is over,
315
00:14:38,790 --> 00:14:42,100
we surrender, and we still
get to be dicks forever?
316
00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:45,330
Okay, you win.
317
00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:46,730
You can all relax
now, everybody!
318
00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:48,330
We're ten minutes
away from landing
319
00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:49,700
at an airfield in Nevada.
320
00:14:49,770 --> 00:14:52,540
Looks like you'll make
that business meeting after all.
321
00:14:52,610 --> 00:14:56,040
Great! Thanks for keeping us
in the sky, boys.
322
00:14:56,110 --> 00:14:58,040
Now reach for it.
323
00:14:58,110 --> 00:15:00,150
You're one
of the hijackers, too?!
324
00:15:00,220 --> 00:15:03,720
Yes. I was in reserve in
case the plan went awry.
325
00:15:03,790 --> 00:15:06,050
And now I can finally get
into the cockpit
326
00:15:07,720 --> 00:15:10,020
crashing this plane
into the ultimate symbol
327
00:15:10,090 --> 00:15:11,590
of American materialism,
328
00:15:11,660 --> 00:15:13,560
Las Vegas.
329
00:15:13,630 --> 00:15:15,700
You know, I've lost
a ton in Vegas,
330
00:15:15,760 --> 00:15:18,200
but I never thought
I'd lose my life there.
331
00:15:18,270 --> 00:15:20,470
Did you just think of that?
Yeah, just now.
332
00:15:20,540 --> 00:15:22,640
You know, you are
seriously funny, man.
333
00:15:22,700 --> 00:15:24,700
I know I crap on you
a lot, but sometimes,
334
00:15:24,770 --> 00:15:27,510
when I'm driving, I think
about stuff you say and I laugh.
335
00:15:27,580 --> 00:15:29,840
Thank you, Peter.
No, thank you.
336
00:15:34,910 --> 00:15:38,240
Very good. We are less than
20 minutes from Las Vegas.
337
00:15:38,310 --> 00:15:42,550
Get ready to say good-bye
to your precious Rita Rudner.
338
00:15:42,620 --> 00:15:45,220
Is-is your plan
just to kill Rita Rudner?
339
00:15:45,290 --> 00:15:48,620
No. We're going to crash into
the biggest hotel on the strip!
340
00:15:48,690 --> 00:15:52,420
Killing Rita Rudner will just be
the custard on the dumpling.
341
00:15:52,490 --> 00:15:53,823
You know, we never
quite nailed down
342
00:15:53,830 --> 00:15:56,090
what region you guys are from.
343
00:16:00,500 --> 00:16:02,063
Good afternoon.
I'm tom Tucker with the latest
344
00:16:02,070 --> 00:16:03,500
on the hijacking crisis.
345
00:16:03,570 --> 00:16:05,440
As you can see,
I've taken off my blazer
346
00:16:05,510 --> 00:16:07,270
to show the severity
of the situation.
347
00:16:07,340 --> 00:16:09,840
We understand the plane
has been found by satellite.
348
00:16:09,910 --> 00:16:11,780
It's apparently veered off
its flight plan
349
00:16:11,850 --> 00:16:13,480
and is headed for Las Vegas.
350
00:16:13,550 --> 00:16:15,210
The government,
fearing the worst,
351
00:16:15,280 --> 00:16:16,980
is considering shooting it down.
352
00:16:17,050 --> 00:16:19,480
Now here's
an over-the-top news graphic.
353
00:16:21,790 --> 00:16:24,490
Nightmare over Vegas.
354
00:16:26,090 --> 00:16:30,230
Hijack jackpot.
355
00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:37,433
Oh, look, there's one guy who
slept through this whole thing.
356
00:16:37,440 --> 00:16:38,540
Hey, buddy, wake up.
357
00:16:38,610 --> 00:16:40,140
We're all about to die.
358
00:16:40,210 --> 00:16:41,810
What? What are
you talking about?
359
00:16:41,880 --> 00:16:43,380
Yeah, I thought
I should wake you up.
360
00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:44,773
Nobody wants to die
in their sleep.
361
00:16:44,780 --> 00:16:47,410
Oh, my god! No!
I have a family!
362
00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:49,680
There you go.
363
00:16:49,750 --> 00:16:52,180
Only a few more minutes
until your country pays
364
00:16:52,250 --> 00:16:54,350
for its imperialistic sins.
365
00:16:54,420 --> 00:16:55,990
Us? What about you?!
366
00:16:56,060 --> 00:16:57,890
Like-like, how come
you eastern European guys
367
00:16:57,960 --> 00:16:59,490
can't be quieter in pornos?
368
00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:02,490
I mean, nobody's ever been like,
"yeah, yeah, more guy noises."
369
00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:04,500
They ask us to do that
to cover up the sound
370
00:17:04,560 --> 00:17:05,930
of children playing nearby.
371
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:08,470
Now shut up
and get ready to die.
372
00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:19,510
So, uh, you ever been
to Vegas before?
373
00:17:19,580 --> 00:17:20,710
No.
374
00:17:20,780 --> 00:17:22,550
Well, I think you're gonna...
375
00:17:22,620 --> 00:17:23,920
Flip for it!
376
00:17:32,460 --> 00:17:34,990
Attention, passengers,
the plane...
377
00:17:37,430 --> 00:17:40,630
Oh, come on! Doesn't anybody
pay attention to the sign?!
378
00:17:44,740 --> 00:17:46,340
That was
some quick thinking, Glenn.
379
00:17:46,410 --> 00:17:49,640
And look! Even that plane with
all the missiles is impressed.
380
00:17:51,750 --> 00:17:54,280
Missiles? That's a
military fighter jet!
381
00:17:54,350 --> 00:17:55,880
He's here to shoot us down!
382
00:17:55,950 --> 00:17:58,020
Or "she."
What?!
383
00:17:58,090 --> 00:18:00,220
They must think the hijackers
still control the plane!
384
00:18:00,290 --> 00:18:01,553
And our communications
are jammed,
385
00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:03,560
so we can't even tell them
everything's okay!
386
00:18:03,620 --> 00:18:05,620
Don't worry, I'll signal to 'em.
387
00:18:05,690 --> 00:18:08,390
Hey! We knocked out
all the bad guys!
388
00:18:08,460 --> 00:18:09,990
See? We don't need your help!
389
00:18:10,060 --> 00:18:12,400
We kicked their asses
and we have their guns!
390
00:18:12,470 --> 00:18:14,130
I've got a visual
on the terrorists.
391
00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:16,870
They've got a hostage in a blue
shirt with a white collar.
392
00:18:16,940 --> 00:18:18,470
He must be
an important businessman.
393
00:18:18,540 --> 00:18:20,870
Copy that. Prepare to engage.
394
00:18:23,710 --> 00:18:25,010
Oh, good, he's movin' away.
395
00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:27,050
No, he isn't. He's getting
in position to fire!
396
00:18:27,110 --> 00:18:28,810
He thinks we're gonna crash
into the strip!
397
00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:30,420
Everybody in your seats!
398
00:18:51,940 --> 00:18:54,470
Frank Caliendo does a 5:00 show?
399
00:18:54,540 --> 00:18:56,440
Quagmire, land this plane!
400
00:19:03,750 --> 00:19:04,950
We've been hit!
401
00:19:06,620 --> 00:19:07,890
Oh, god, this is it!
402
00:19:07,950 --> 00:19:09,050
We're gonna die!
403
00:19:09,120 --> 00:19:10,220
Like hell we are!
404
00:19:10,290 --> 00:19:11,690
We're gonna make it.
405
00:19:25,770 --> 00:19:27,140
We're going too fast!
406
00:19:27,210 --> 00:19:28,940
We're gonna crash
into that lake!
407
00:19:29,010 --> 00:19:31,710
Oh, no, we're not!
408
00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:44,860
Oh, yeah,
right there. That's good.
409
00:19:44,930 --> 00:19:48,530
And now to discharge
the plane's fire retardant.
410
00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:50,530
Giggity.
411
00:20:00,810 --> 00:20:03,680
Wow, quagmire, thanks for
saving all of our lives.
412
00:20:03,740 --> 00:20:05,880
We're sorry for saying
your job was easy.
413
00:20:05,950 --> 00:20:08,110
Yeah, you're the best
damn pilot in the world.
414
00:20:08,180 --> 00:20:11,120
He's right. What you did
up there was amazing.
415
00:20:11,180 --> 00:20:12,880
Thanks, guys, that means a lot.
416
00:20:12,950 --> 00:20:14,550
Boy, that was quite a trip,
wasn't it?
417
00:20:14,620 --> 00:20:17,790
Sure was. And we learned
a lot about blue jeans,
418
00:20:17,860 --> 00:20:19,790
didn't we, guys?
Yes, yes, we did, yeah.
419
00:20:19,860 --> 00:20:22,790
That's right, Peter. Thank you
for planning a wonderful day.
420
00:20:28,100 --> 00:20:29,370
Cleveland!
Joe!
421
00:20:29,440 --> 00:20:30,570
Peter!
422
00:20:35,710 --> 00:20:37,710
Dad, I was really worried,
423
00:20:37,780 --> 00:20:39,740
so I pulled a record
of your credit card purchases
424
00:20:39,810 --> 00:20:41,810
in San Francisco,
and I saw some things
425
00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:43,750
I think you'd prefer
to keep private.
426
00:20:43,820 --> 00:20:45,150
We'll talk later, Chris.
427
00:20:45,220 --> 00:20:46,650
I think we will.
428
00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:48,890
I do believe we will.
429
00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:50,390
Well, let's head home.
430
00:20:50,460 --> 00:20:53,060
I know I, for one, am ready
to put all this behind us.
431
00:20:53,130 --> 00:20:54,660
Sounds good.