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♪ It seems today that all you see ♪
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♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪
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♪ But where are those good
old-fashioned values ♪
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♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
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♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
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♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪
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♪ All the things that make us ♪
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♪ Laugh and cry ♪
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♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
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Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com
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Is Netflix Streaming
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the right choice for you?
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Well, if you like movies in HD,
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then frozen pixels, then HD again,
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the answer is "yes."
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And if you love the golden
year of movies, 2003,
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then we might have some of
what you're looking for.
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Netflix Streaming:
buffer for 20 minutes,
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then watch 35 minutes of a
movie with Jason Statham.
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Oh, look what came,
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the free DVD from my PBS pledge.
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Whatever it is, we're not watching it.
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Peter, trust me,
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you of all people could really
learn something from this.
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It's a documentary about
the food industry called,
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Food Kills.
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Huh. Says here that
Colon Health Magazine
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gave it two thumbs in.
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Hi, I'm Matt Lauer's
cousin, Stephen McCormick.
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Our moms are sisters.
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America is gorging itself
on processed food,
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creating an obesity epidemic.
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We've abandoned natural foods
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for chemicals, additives
and refined sugars.
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At this rate, this is what
the future will look like.
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Those are flying cars,
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but the people in them are too fat.
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Oh, no, I left my baby in there.
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Without drastic changes in our diet,
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Americans are headed for
a health catastrophe.
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For more, go to our website at
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"double-u double-u
double-u dot PBS dot com."
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That's "www" dot,
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the word "double-u" three times,
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the word "dot," "PBS,"
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the word "dot" again,
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the word "com," dot com.
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There was a miscommunication
when we registered our website.
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Well, that's it, from now on,
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we're eating healthy around here.
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We're gonna feel better and
we're gonna look better.
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Well, looking better doesn't
always solve your problems, Lois.
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It sure didn't work for Droopy
Dog when he got that facelift.
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Contrary to my appearance,
I'm still not happy.
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Please study my brain so that
others don't suffer as I have.
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Thanks for coming to my
birthday party, you guys.
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And Esther, I'm so sorry
you ripped your perineum
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doing the Hokey Pokey.
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That's okay, I got free curly fries.
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Okay, let's see what Meg got me.
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A crock pot?
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Things about to get crazy!
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You can cook a pork
tenderloin under your bed.
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Excuse me, girls.
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We're about to start
roller derby in a minute.
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Wait, wait.
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You. What's your name?
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Me? Meg Griffin.
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Would you mind standing up?
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Whoa! What-what-what are you doing?
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My God.
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The magic ratio.
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What's that?
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It means your ankles, calves, and thighs
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are all the same thickness.
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How would you like to try out
for the roller derby team?
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Really?
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- Do it, Meg.
- Yeah, Meg. You should totally do it.
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Meg's talking to a boy!
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Okay, sure. What the heck?
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Here. Take my card.
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"I am a registered sex offender."
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Flip it over.
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see other side."
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Give me that.
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I'm the roller derby coach.
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See you at tryouts.
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I can't believe it, you guys.
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This is the biggest surprise
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since the last M. Night Shyamalan movie.
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Two tickets for the M.
Night Shyamalan movie.
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Wow. Really?
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Hope you guys are ready
for a healthy dinner.
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I went to Whole Foods
today and got this recipe
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from an extremely thin man
with a giant Adam's apple.
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I hate that place.
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None of the cereals
are advertised on TV.
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What's this stuff that looks like sand?
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It's quinoa.
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Nope, I don't eat foods that
sound like karate words.
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Well, according to Food
Kills, quinoa is a superfood.
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It's very nutritious, and it
even helps keep you regular.
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Lois, I have a system...
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I poop once a week for
an hour and a half.
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I wear a headband and it's
soaked when I'm all done.
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Mm.
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Wow, Lois, you know, this
is actually pretty good.
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Peter, you should try it.
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Ugh. Fine.
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Peter, knock it off.
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I can't help it!
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My body's rejecting it!
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Name?
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Quinoa.
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Mm-hmm.
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Sorry, sir, we're full.
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Come on in, gummy bears!
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Oh, you are looking fine tonight.
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Mm!
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Thanks again for coming
and supporting me, Chris.
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No problem. And I'm gonna
take some pictures
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of the other athletes,
if you don't mind.
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You might not know this about me,
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but I am a bit of a shutterbug.
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Okay, that's-that's all okay.
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All right, ladies, line up.
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How about we start with some warm-ups?
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Bend down and touch your toes.
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"Memory card full"?
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Come on!
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Okay, now, last year we were tricked
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by a couch on a dolly with wheels,
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so if any of you is a couch
on a dolly with wheels,
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I'm gonna ask you to please leave now.
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Well, we need five for a team
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and there's five of you here,
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so congratulations.
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Wow! This is awesome!
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I can't believe I'm a Quahog Thug!
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When do we start skating?
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00:05:46,378 --> 00:05:47,810
Here, look at the schedule.
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00:05:47,852 --> 00:05:50,640
This is just a list of
Sexaholic Anonymous meetings.
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Flip it over.
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It says, "Remember to
attend your meetings."
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I'm gonna stop handing you stuff.
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It's the middle of the night.
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00:06:05,429 --> 00:06:06,656
Where are you going?
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I'm sick of all this healthy crap.
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00:06:08,366 --> 00:06:10,660
I'm going downstairs to
find something good to eat.
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And then I'm gonna fall asleep
watching transvaginal mesh
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lawsuit commercials.
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There's nothing.
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Thank you, son.
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What's going on, man, are you pregnant?
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00:06:30,255 --> 00:06:32,882
No, my wife watched
that food documentary.
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And you should never ask that
unless you're sure, by the way.
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Aw, yeah, peanut-butter-cup-
Dorito-sausage-car panini.
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And let's crack a Cadbury
Egg over the whole thing.
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Just gonna use my spare
glove-compartment-underwear
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as a napkin.
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I can't believe Randy Quaid gets
to eat like this every day.
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Peter? Is that you?
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Cleveland?
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Are you cooking in your car?
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I am.
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Is this because of Food Kills?
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Oh, you saw that movie too, huh?
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00:07:05,256 --> 00:07:07,283
We watched Tyler Perry's Food Kills,
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00:07:07,325 --> 00:07:09,619
which is the same movie except it stars
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black folks you've never heard of
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and white folks you don't
hear from anymore.
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But, yeah, now Donna is
forcing me to eat healthy.
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I always get confused,
is Donna the wife,
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or is Roberta the wife?
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I don't know, man, can I
have some of that sandwich?
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Oh, our hands just touched.
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Mm.
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Wow, Peter. That's good.
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That's real good.
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I'm not sure what we're doing now.
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Excuse me,
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whatever you've got in
there smells incredible.
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Man, my wife won't let me
eat any of that stuff.
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Tell you what, I'll give you
ten bucks for that thing.
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Yeah, me, too.
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00:07:44,446 --> 00:07:45,922
Wow.
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00:07:45,964 --> 00:07:49,258
Huh, if I sell two
sandwiches for $10 each,
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that equals...
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money.
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00:07:59,982 --> 00:08:02,872
Peter, you just made $20
from two sandwiches.
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00:08:02,914 --> 00:08:04,474
Wow, you're right.
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00:08:04,516 --> 00:08:06,342
Hey, maybe I could turn
this into a business.
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00:08:06,384 --> 00:08:08,319
You know, selling sandwiches from a car.
194
00:08:08,361 --> 00:08:09,979
Wonder how much I could make.
195
00:08:13,275 --> 00:08:16,386
♪ Mad world... ♪
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00:08:16,428 --> 00:08:18,154
Whoops, I stopped thinking about math
197
00:08:18,196 --> 00:08:20,356
and started thinking about
baby-man Billy Corgan
198
00:08:20,398 --> 00:08:22,444
being sad at Disneyland.
199
00:08:32,261 --> 00:08:34,170
Peter, what the hell is this?
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This, Lois, is my new food truck,
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00:08:36,414 --> 00:08:38,508
specializing in all the
delicious, unhealthy foods
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00:08:38,550 --> 00:08:40,243
that you won't let me eat.
203
00:08:40,285 --> 00:08:42,512
'Cause you don't let me
eat what I want to eat
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00:08:42,554 --> 00:08:45,181
and that... and, uh, I am super dizzy
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00:08:45,223 --> 00:08:47,810
and there might be a gas
leak in this thing.
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00:08:55,099 --> 00:08:56,983
I can't believe you'd buy a food truck.
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00:08:57,025 --> 00:08:58,845
What are you even selling?
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00:08:58,887 --> 00:09:00,747
First of all, believe it, baby.
209
00:09:00,789 --> 00:09:04,351
Second, uh, mostly hamburgers
where the buns is jelly donuts.
210
00:09:04,393 --> 00:09:07,487
And drinks where hot dogs is the straws.
211
00:09:07,529 --> 00:09:09,055
Mm.
212
00:09:09,097 --> 00:09:11,157
Another milkshake, please.
213
00:09:11,199 --> 00:09:12,492
Look, I'm happy for the business,
214
00:09:12,534 --> 00:09:14,694
but drinking that on your knees is...
215
00:09:14,736 --> 00:09:16,327
it's putting a hat on a hat.
216
00:09:16,369 --> 00:09:19,232
Look at this food. It's
gross and unhealthy.
217
00:09:19,274 --> 00:09:22,302
It's exactly the stuff I'm
trying to get you not to eat.
218
00:09:22,344 --> 00:09:24,638
Yeah, but people like this
food. It makes them happy.
219
00:09:24,680 --> 00:09:27,274
I mean, you can eat sprouts and
vegan crap your entire life
220
00:09:27,316 --> 00:09:29,042
and still get devoured by Gremlins
221
00:09:29,084 --> 00:09:30,777
and-and-and none of it matters.
222
00:09:30,819 --> 00:09:32,879
So you're saying you shouldn't
take care of yourself
223
00:09:32,921 --> 00:09:35,181
because you might get
devoured by Gremlins?
224
00:09:35,223 --> 00:09:36,850
Get a clue, mama.
225
00:09:36,892 --> 00:09:39,185
Think of what you're doing
to your body, Peter.
226
00:09:39,227 --> 00:09:40,954
Oh, there we go.
227
00:09:40,996 --> 00:09:42,188
You think I'm overweight.
228
00:09:42,230 --> 00:09:43,990
I know you're overweight.
229
00:09:44,032 --> 00:09:46,626
Hey, yeah, I'll have the,
uh, Swedish Fish Tacos.
230
00:09:46,668 --> 00:09:49,296
You want the can of chili
dumped on top or on the side?
231
00:09:49,338 --> 00:09:50,797
What does the chef recommend?
232
00:09:50,839 --> 00:09:53,233
Me? I like to squeeze the can so hard
233
00:09:53,275 --> 00:09:55,418
the chili flies into
my mouth like Popeye.
234
00:09:55,460 --> 00:09:56,369
Do it up.
235
00:09:56,411 --> 00:09:58,338
You got it. Let me put on my bandana,
236
00:09:58,380 --> 00:10:01,643
fire up my very loud "what"
generator, and get cooking.
237
00:10:04,586 --> 00:10:06,079
Peter, this isn't over!
238
00:10:06,121 --> 00:10:07,671
What?!
239
00:10:14,914 --> 00:10:16,356
Ladies and gentlemen,
240
00:10:16,398 --> 00:10:18,258
welcome to the first bout of the season,
241
00:10:18,300 --> 00:10:21,695
the Quahog Thugs versus
the Medford Dump Cakes.
242
00:10:21,737 --> 00:10:25,098
This season we're brought to
you by Barry's Note Cards.
243
00:10:25,140 --> 00:10:27,300
"When you need to remind
yourself of the sponsor,
244
00:10:27,342 --> 00:10:29,727
use Barry's Note Cards."
245
00:10:46,445 --> 00:10:49,055
Nice move, Griffin.
246
00:10:49,097 --> 00:10:50,790
Way to go, Meg!
247
00:10:50,832 --> 00:10:53,259
Wow, newcomer Meg Griffin
248
00:10:53,301 --> 00:10:55,395
is lighting up the track
with some amazing moves.
249
00:10:55,437 --> 00:10:58,922
"Amazing"? Damn right, amazing.
250
00:11:00,693 --> 00:11:02,202
Make some noise
251
00:11:02,244 --> 00:11:05,372
if you're mixing prescription
drugs with alcohol!
252
00:11:07,449 --> 00:11:10,176
Wow. This is a lot more
physical than I thought.
253
00:11:10,218 --> 00:11:12,846
My favorite part of a
woman's body is haunches.
254
00:11:12,888 --> 00:11:16,149
And this is all haunch, baby.
255
00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:19,643
Meg!
256
00:11:21,714 --> 00:11:22,946
Boy, that was rough.
257
00:11:22,988 --> 00:11:26,393
This sport's even more
dangerous than skeet shooting.
258
00:11:26,435 --> 00:11:27,594
Pull!
259
00:11:27,636 --> 00:11:29,453
I got in the wrong line!
260
00:11:33,959 --> 00:11:35,969
That'll be $16.
261
00:11:36,011 --> 00:11:37,918
$16? That's expensive.
262
00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:39,639
Yes, sir. Everything's very expensive
263
00:11:39,681 --> 00:11:41,374
because you're paying for it on an iPad.
264
00:11:41,416 --> 00:11:43,343
Now, if you'll just select a gratuity.
265
00:11:43,385 --> 00:11:46,613
Options are 60%, 90%, and 200%.
266
00:11:46,655 --> 00:11:48,581
Uh, I guess 60%.
267
00:11:48,623 --> 00:11:49,983
Okay, great.
268
00:11:50,025 --> 00:11:51,918
And just sign by dragging
your bare finger
269
00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:53,670
across this thing I use to masturbate.
270
00:11:53,712 --> 00:11:55,522
Uh, okay.
271
00:11:55,564 --> 00:11:56,956
Thank you, please make sure
272
00:11:56,998 --> 00:11:58,491
to bang your head on
that low-hanging thing.
273
00:11:58,533 --> 00:11:59,993
What are you...
274
00:12:00,035 --> 00:12:01,294
Oh, you spilled something.
You want a napkin?
275
00:12:01,336 --> 00:12:02,796
Yes, please.
276
00:12:02,838 --> 00:12:05,189
All right, here's 40, blown by the wind.
277
00:12:12,114 --> 00:12:14,007
Oh, Chris, I'm glad you're here.
278
00:12:14,049 --> 00:12:15,275
Swing that lamp at me.
279
00:12:15,317 --> 00:12:16,309
But you'll get hurt.
280
00:12:16,351 --> 00:12:17,142
No, I won't.
281
00:12:17,184 --> 00:12:19,012
I'm gonna dodge it.
282
00:12:20,956 --> 00:12:23,016
Oh, my God, are you okay?
283
00:12:23,058 --> 00:12:24,517
Yeah, I'm fine.
284
00:12:24,559 --> 00:12:26,586
This roller derby's
really toughened me up.
285
00:12:26,628 --> 00:12:28,868
I got to say, I've-I've
never felt better.
286
00:12:28,910 --> 00:12:29,694
Really?
287
00:12:29,736 --> 00:12:32,492
'Cause I watched how rough it
was out there the other day,
288
00:12:32,534 --> 00:12:34,332
and I got a little worried for you.
289
00:12:34,374 --> 00:12:36,429
I mean, all it would take is one bad hit
290
00:12:36,471 --> 00:12:37,866
to do permanent damage.
291
00:12:37,908 --> 00:12:39,532
I think you should quit.
292
00:12:39,574 --> 00:12:41,153
What? No.
293
00:12:41,195 --> 00:12:43,263
No, I-I love roller derby.
294
00:12:43,305 --> 00:12:45,556
It's the first thing I'm really good at.
295
00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:48,441
Plus, I love making other women bleed.
296
00:12:48,483 --> 00:12:50,977
But you know, in ways besides the way,
297
00:12:51,019 --> 00:12:52,545
you know, they normally bleed.
298
00:12:52,587 --> 00:12:54,023
She means periods.
299
00:12:54,065 --> 00:12:56,416
Yeah, I got it, Stewie,
but I'm telling you, Meg,
300
00:12:56,458 --> 00:12:57,693
something bad is going to happen.
301
00:12:57,735 --> 00:13:00,555
Like when you give a young
athlete too much money.
302
00:13:01,347 --> 00:13:03,516
I, I got to murder somebody.
303
00:13:08,387 --> 00:13:10,899
Peter, kids, dinner!
304
00:13:12,567 --> 00:13:14,445
Kids? Peter?
305
00:13:14,487 --> 00:13:17,003
It's time for a healthy, veggie dinner!
306
00:13:17,045 --> 00:13:18,738
Come on, I spent the whole day
307
00:13:18,780 --> 00:13:20,575
making the house smell like farts.
308
00:13:20,949 --> 00:13:22,600
Where the hell is everybody?
309
00:13:25,747 --> 00:13:27,714
All right, I got a bowl of cereal
310
00:13:27,756 --> 00:13:29,350
that's M&M's and Dr. Pepper?
311
00:13:29,392 --> 00:13:30,376
Over here.
312
00:13:31,002 --> 00:13:32,311
Chris, put that down.
313
00:13:32,353 --> 00:13:33,796
You kids get in the house
314
00:13:33,838 --> 00:13:35,555
and eat the healthy dinner I prepared,
315
00:13:35,597 --> 00:13:36,816
and Peter, you, too.
316
00:13:36,858 --> 00:13:38,943
Shut down that truck and get inside.
317
00:13:38,985 --> 00:13:40,027
Lois, I already told you.
318
00:13:40,069 --> 00:13:41,996
I don't want to eat your
garbage food. All right?
319
00:13:42,038 --> 00:13:44,081
Now can you go inside and
get me some Pop Rocks?
320
00:13:44,123 --> 00:13:45,157
I'm making a paella.
321
00:13:45,199 --> 00:13:47,567
You know what? Enough of this nonsense.
322
00:13:47,609 --> 00:13:49,769
You love this truck so much, stay in it,
323
00:13:49,811 --> 00:13:52,206
'cause I don't want you or
your food in the house.
324
00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:53,457
Fine. I love this truck.
325
00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:55,608
I got everything I need in here.
326
00:13:55,650 --> 00:13:57,236
Maybe I'll just live here.
327
00:13:57,278 --> 00:13:59,032
I can imagine it now.
328
00:14:01,923 --> 00:14:04,384
♪ Living in America... ♪
329
00:14:04,426 --> 00:14:06,686
Whoops. I stopped
thinking about the truck
330
00:14:06,728 --> 00:14:08,588
and started thinking about Amazon woman
331
00:14:08,630 --> 00:14:10,814
Brigitte Nielsen drunk
in a Burbank park.
332
00:14:32,172 --> 00:14:35,615
All right, time to greet the day.
333
00:14:35,657 --> 00:14:37,751
Are you living in a truck?
334
00:14:37,793 --> 00:14:40,420
Not bad. I see you got a
Hooters calendar in here.
335
00:14:40,462 --> 00:14:41,855
How do you get anything done
336
00:14:41,897 --> 00:14:44,157
with those rocking
knockers staring at you?
337
00:14:44,199 --> 00:14:45,692
Hey, who says I get anything done?
338
00:14:45,734 --> 00:14:47,727
Guy talk, guy talk. Yeah, guy talk.
339
00:14:47,769 --> 00:14:49,929
Guy talk. This is how guys talk.
340
00:14:49,971 --> 00:14:51,398
Oh, Peter, this is awful.
341
00:14:51,440 --> 00:14:52,632
Well, I love it.
342
00:14:52,674 --> 00:14:54,234
And I'm not going back in that house
343
00:14:54,276 --> 00:14:56,536
and listen to Lois tell me
how fat and unhealthy I am.
344
00:14:56,578 --> 00:14:58,304
You do look like you've put on a few.
345
00:14:58,346 --> 00:15:00,073
Your elbows are starting to pucker.
346
00:15:00,115 --> 00:15:01,925
Yeah, I mean, are you
really happy in here?
347
00:15:01,967 --> 00:15:03,243
You bet I am.
348
00:15:03,285 --> 00:15:05,263
I'm happier than a squash on Halloween.
349
00:15:07,015 --> 00:15:09,716
Dad, are they coming
to take us away, too?
350
00:15:09,758 --> 00:15:11,384
No, son, we're fine.
351
00:15:11,426 --> 00:15:12,770
How about on Thanksgiving?
352
00:15:13,295 --> 00:15:15,273
You know what, just enjoy the month.
353
00:15:27,327 --> 00:15:31,771
You're going down, Griffin,
like my stepfather's pants!
354
00:15:31,813 --> 00:15:33,740
I guess I see where some
of your anger comes from.
355
00:15:36,703 --> 00:15:38,269
Oh, no. This is bad.
356
00:15:43,843 --> 00:15:46,352
That's it. I have to do something.
357
00:15:46,394 --> 00:15:48,421
Chris, what are you doing?
358
00:15:48,463 --> 00:15:51,324
Saving my...
359
00:15:53,602 --> 00:15:55,962
Oh, my God. Chris, are you okay?
360
00:15:56,004 --> 00:15:58,531
I don't think so. I'm hurt pretty bad,
361
00:15:58,573 --> 00:16:00,834
like that time I was
running with scissors.
362
00:16:03,345 --> 00:16:05,263
You run like a girl.
363
00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:11,316
Run like a man, you get a suit.
364
00:16:14,908 --> 00:16:16,916
Here you go. And if you'd
like to put your e-mail
365
00:16:16,958 --> 00:16:18,418
on our sign-up list,
366
00:16:18,460 --> 00:16:20,353
I'd be happy to sell
it to Russian hackers.
367
00:16:20,395 --> 00:16:22,188
Peter, Peter, it's happening.
368
00:16:22,230 --> 00:16:23,990
What? The Bing Maps car.
369
00:16:24,032 --> 00:16:26,192
It's three blocks down and
it's coming this way.
370
00:16:26,234 --> 00:16:28,728
Holy crap. This is the day
we've been waiting for.
371
00:16:28,770 --> 00:16:30,497
We said we're gonna stand
in our front yards
372
00:16:30,539 --> 00:16:33,166
and wave as it goes by so
we're on the street view.
373
00:16:33,208 --> 00:16:35,034
We're gonna be on the Internet.
374
00:16:35,076 --> 00:16:37,170
Mort just called. It went by his house.
375
00:16:37,212 --> 00:16:39,339
Everybody, places! Start waving.
376
00:16:39,381 --> 00:16:41,432
This is not a drill!
377
00:16:46,061 --> 00:16:48,103
Damn it. I can't fit through the door.
378
00:16:48,145 --> 00:16:49,537
I'm stuck in the truck.
379
00:16:49,579 --> 00:16:50,950
What? What are you talking about?
380
00:16:50,992 --> 00:16:54,220
I knew this would happen.
You're too fat to get out.
381
00:16:54,262 --> 00:16:56,347
I see it. I see the Bing car.
382
00:16:58,318 --> 00:17:00,927
Oh, my God, Bing! Bing! Over here! Bing!
383
00:17:00,969 --> 00:17:02,212
They can't see you, Peter.
384
00:17:02,254 --> 00:17:03,630
You're facing away from the street.
385
00:17:03,672 --> 00:17:06,324
Stop talking, Quagmire. Just smile.
386
00:17:08,962 --> 00:17:10,904
This is amazing.
387
00:17:10,946 --> 00:17:12,438
Crap. Is it gone?
388
00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:14,607
The driver nodded at me.
389
00:17:14,649 --> 00:17:17,277
I... I think I'm gonna cry.
390
00:17:17,319 --> 00:17:19,579
Damn it. I can't believe I missed it.
391
00:17:19,621 --> 00:17:21,214
Jeez, I hope I don't
end up stuck in here
392
00:17:21,256 --> 00:17:22,715
like Winnie the Pooh.
393
00:17:22,757 --> 00:17:24,517
Uh, Rabbit?
394
00:17:24,559 --> 00:17:28,454
Perhaps you should push with
your shoulder and not your fist?
395
00:17:28,496 --> 00:17:30,381
Don't worry about it.
396
00:17:35,304 --> 00:17:37,890
Hey, did that big "boomba
boomba" nurse come in here?
397
00:17:37,932 --> 00:17:39,032
Uh, no.
398
00:17:39,074 --> 00:17:42,063
But Dr. Hartman, is my
brother gonna be okay?
399
00:17:42,105 --> 00:17:43,403
That's her. That's her.
400
00:17:43,445 --> 00:17:44,438
Hi, Juanita.
401
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:45,856
Hello, Doctor.
402
00:17:47,116 --> 00:17:48,633
Was that weird? Was I just weird?
403
00:17:48,675 --> 00:17:49,576
Kind of.
404
00:17:49,618 --> 00:17:51,220
You don't know. I was fine.
405
00:17:51,971 --> 00:17:54,948
Oh, Chris, I'm so sorry
you got hurt like this.
406
00:17:54,990 --> 00:17:57,417
Roller derby was the best thing
that ever happened to me.
407
00:17:57,459 --> 00:18:00,821
I finally felt like I was good
at something, I made friends...
408
00:18:00,863 --> 00:18:03,757
but seeing you like this,
I realize you were right.
409
00:18:03,799 --> 00:18:07,561
It's too dangerous.
So I'm going to quit.
410
00:18:07,603 --> 00:18:11,548
No, Meg. I got hurt because
I didn't belong out there,
411
00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:12,599
but you do.
412
00:18:12,641 --> 00:18:14,334
I watched you skate.
413
00:18:14,376 --> 00:18:17,027
You found your calling
and I believe in you.
414
00:18:17,069 --> 00:18:19,473
Now get back to that
rink and help your team
415
00:18:19,515 --> 00:18:21,642
win the championship it deserves.
416
00:18:21,684 --> 00:18:25,187
Really? I will. Thanks, Chris.
417
00:18:25,688 --> 00:18:28,148
With the spirit in her heart renewed,
418
00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:31,451
Meg returned to the roller derby arena.
419
00:18:31,493 --> 00:18:33,253
I think she did all right,
420
00:18:33,295 --> 00:18:36,990
but no one will know for
sure because halfway through
421
00:18:37,032 --> 00:18:38,992
everyone stopped to watch some fat kid
422
00:18:39,034 --> 00:18:43,163
who was killing it on
Dance Dance Revolution.
423
00:18:44,807 --> 00:18:47,491
Dance, you fat bitch.
424
00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:53,273
So tonight, we say to the
yellow-billed marsh finch...
425
00:18:53,315 --> 00:18:55,142
you're extinct.
426
00:18:55,184 --> 00:18:57,477
But, right now, we're getting
word of breaking news.
427
00:18:57,519 --> 00:18:59,943
We go live to Tricia
Takanawa with details.
428
00:18:59,985 --> 00:19:02,316
- Tricia?
- Tom, I'm standing here
429
00:19:02,358 --> 00:19:04,384
outside a Spooner Street home,
430
00:19:04,426 --> 00:19:07,988
where a local business owner
has apparently eaten himself
431
00:19:08,030 --> 00:19:10,190
into his own food truck.
432
00:19:10,232 --> 00:19:13,894
Oh. It appears they've
finally removed the roof.
433
00:19:13,936 --> 00:19:17,164
Nobody look. This is a
private, gross matter.
434
00:19:17,206 --> 00:19:21,301
Mr. Griffin, is this performance art
435
00:19:21,343 --> 00:19:23,870
or, uh, some sort of
political statement?
436
00:19:23,912 --> 00:19:26,206
Well, I'm kind of ticked
about condoms in porn,
437
00:19:26,248 --> 00:19:28,008
but this is unrelated.
438
00:19:28,050 --> 00:19:31,345
Oh, hey, Lois. I guess
you must be happy.
439
00:19:31,387 --> 00:19:34,214
Yeah, it's every girl's dream
to have her husband hoisted
440
00:19:34,256 --> 00:19:36,049
out of a food truck in a horse harness.
441
00:19:36,091 --> 00:19:39,522
No, look, I-I'm just
saying, you were right.
442
00:19:39,564 --> 00:19:41,522
I'm a big tub of lard,
443
00:19:41,564 --> 00:19:43,597
and you have every reason
to be ashamed of me.
444
00:19:43,639 --> 00:19:45,129
Ashamed of you?
445
00:19:45,171 --> 00:19:46,860
I-Is that really what you think?
446
00:19:46,902 --> 00:19:49,429
Well, yeah, you kept saying
how overweight I am.
447
00:19:49,471 --> 00:19:51,231
Peter, don't you get it?
448
00:19:51,273 --> 00:19:54,201
I only wanted you to eat
healthy because I love you,
449
00:19:54,243 --> 00:19:56,579
and I'm concerned about your health.
450
00:19:56,621 --> 00:20:00,040
I want you around for
as long as I'm around.
451
00:20:00,082 --> 00:20:02,903
Really? Well, I love you, too, Lois.
452
00:20:02,945 --> 00:20:04,911
I'm sorry I was such a jerk.
453
00:20:04,953 --> 00:20:07,839
I guess I could do without
eating so much junk,
454
00:20:08,290 --> 00:20:10,550
but I could never do without you.
455
00:20:11,085 --> 00:20:12,795
Oh, Peter.
456
00:20:13,796 --> 00:20:15,188
Ma'am, please step back.
457
00:20:15,230 --> 00:20:17,114
We have to wash him with a hose.
458
00:20:19,952 --> 00:20:22,045
Guys, look! Look! The Bing car is back.
459
00:20:22,087 --> 00:20:24,221
No. I'm not ready! I'm not ready!
460
00:20:27,427 --> 00:20:30,103
Inspired by his love for Lois,
461
00:20:30,145 --> 00:20:33,907
Peter had steamed vegetables
and brown rice that evening,
462
00:20:33,949 --> 00:20:37,577
then ate like crap for
the rest of his life.
463
00:20:37,619 --> 00:20:41,448
Nonetheless, he was
immortalized on Bing Maps.
464
00:20:42,858 --> 00:20:45,685
Fat people are amusing to me.
465
00:20:45,727 --> 00:20:48,064
Hang there, you fat bitch.