1
00:00:01,627 --> 00:00:08,133
♪♪ It seems today that all you see
Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪♪

2
00:00:08,217 --> 00:00:11,720
♪♪ But where are those
Good old-fashioned values ♪♪

3
00:00:11,803 --> 00:00:14,473
♪♪ On which we used to rely? ♪♪

4
00:00:15,057 --> 00:00:18,101
♪♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪♪

5
00:00:18,227 --> 00:00:21,480
♪♪ Lucky there's a man who
Positively can do ♪

6
00:00:21,563 --> 00:00:23,148
♪♪ All the things that make us ♪

7
00:00:23,232 --> 00:00:24,900
♪♪ Laugh and cry! ♪♪

8
00:00:24,983 --> 00:00:30,364
♪♪ He's a family guy! ♪♪

9
00:00:34,660 --> 00:00:36,995
Oh, let's see. We've got soda,
purple stuff...

10
00:00:37,079 --> 00:00:38,789
Oh! Sunny D! All right!

11
00:00:41,124 --> 00:00:43,085
TV ANNOUNCER: We now return
to The Smurfs.

12
00:00:43,168 --> 00:00:46,421
-Hey. You have a good time last night?
-Smurftacular!

13
00:00:46,505 --> 00:00:48,048
Yeah, I saw you leave with Smurfette.

14
00:00:48,131 --> 00:00:50,843
Oh, man. As soon as we got out of
the bar she startedsmurfin' me.

15
00:00:50,926 --> 00:00:52,386
-Shut the smurf up!
-Yeah!

16
00:00:52,469 --> 00:00:53,929
Right in the smurfin' parking lot?

17
00:00:54,012 --> 00:00:56,682
-Smurf, yeah!
-That is freakin' smurf!

18
00:00:56,765 --> 00:00:58,976
-You smurf it. Yeah.
-That is freakin' smurf.

19
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:00,853
-(phone ringing)
-Hello?

20
00:01:00,936 --> 00:01:02,437
(gasps) Oh, my God!

21
00:01:03,522 --> 00:01:05,858
Peter, why are you staring into the dryer?

22
00:01:05,941 --> 00:01:08,861
I'm watching the latest episode
of Laundry Theatre.

23
00:01:08,944 --> 00:01:11,196
See, now. Those are Chris's socks, right?

24
00:01:11,363 --> 00:01:13,156
Now, they don't know
that Stewie's shirt

25
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:15,033
is having an affair
with Meg's trousers.

26
00:01:15,117 --> 00:01:17,786
Ooh, it's fun to watch
rich people be naughty!

27
00:01:17,870 --> 00:01:20,163
Peter, listen to me.
My sister just called.

28
00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:22,958
Her baby's due any day now
and Ted just walked out on her.

29
00:01:23,041 --> 00:01:25,627
Whoa, back it up, back it up,
you have a sister?

30
00:01:25,711 --> 00:01:27,921
I promised her I'd be
on the next train.

31
00:01:28,005 --> 00:01:30,799
Poor Carol, all alone
in that big house.

32
00:01:30,883 --> 00:01:32,551
Wait a minute, Carol. Carol...

33
00:01:32,634 --> 00:01:34,761
Uh, she the one with
the jacuzzi and the pool table?

34
00:01:34,845 --> 00:01:36,138
-Yeah.
-I better with you.

35
00:01:36,221 --> 00:01:38,348
Really? That's a surprise.

36
00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:41,393
Oh, come on, Lois. When have
I not been there for you?

37
00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:42,603
(car tires screeching)

38
00:01:42,686 --> 00:01:44,855
-Get outta the car, now!
-Scream and you're dead.

39
00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:46,273
Thanks for the ride, lady.

40
00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:53,238
Hey, it's the Griffins.
What can I do for you?

41
00:01:53,322 --> 00:01:55,490
Glen, we have a family emergency.

42
00:01:55,574 --> 00:01:58,160
We really need you to take
the kids for just a couple of days.

43
00:01:58,243 --> 00:02:02,664
Uh, in accordance with Megan's Law,
I'm obligated to inform you that...

44
00:02:02,748 --> 00:02:04,374
You know what, that's fine.
I'll take the kids.

45
00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:05,918
Aww, thanks, buddy.

46
00:02:08,086 --> 00:02:10,923
Gosh, I never entertained kids before.

47
00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:15,302
So a chick walks into
a gynecologist's office...

48
00:02:18,180 --> 00:02:20,432
Wha-ha-ha-ha-hey!

49
00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:25,812
Diggly, diggly, diggly, diggly!

50
00:02:30,734 --> 00:02:32,778
Don't worry, Carol,
we'll get you through this.

51
00:02:32,861 --> 00:02:34,905
In a few days you'll have
a beautiful baby

52
00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:37,574
and you can smother it
with all your unrequited love.

53
00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:40,702
And as soon as the baby can crawl,
it'll probably leave me too,

54
00:02:40,786 --> 00:02:43,288
(cries) just like my eight husbands.

55
00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:46,375
PETER: (imitating Ted) Hey, Carol.
It's me, Ted.

56
00:02:46,458 --> 00:02:49,378
Listen, uh, I came back
because I love you and...

57
00:02:49,461 --> 00:02:51,421
I'm just kidding. It's me, Peter.

58
00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:54,132
Aww, it was so nice of you
to come, Peter.

59
00:02:54,216 --> 00:02:55,425
You're so considerate.

60
00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:56,927
-Ah, it was nothing.
-(glass shatters)

61
00:03:08,397 --> 00:03:09,940
(glass shatters)

62
00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:13,944
(furniture dragging)

63
00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:19,992
Mr. Quagmire, I finished
the scavenger hunt.

64
00:03:20,075 --> 00:03:22,411
Well, hold your horses, hold your horses.
Let's go down the list.

65
00:03:22,494 --> 00:03:24,913
-Uh, an unsharpened pencil?
-Check.

66
00:03:24,997 --> 00:03:27,374
A speed-limit sign that
doesn't end in five or zero?

67
00:03:27,457 --> 00:03:29,042
-Check!
-Your mom's hairbrush?

68
00:03:29,126 --> 00:03:30,335
-Check!
-You win!

69
00:03:30,419 --> 00:03:32,337
Oh, boy! What's my prize?

70
00:03:32,421 --> 00:03:34,673
- A pencil and a speed sign.
- I did it!

71
00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:35,966
I'll be right back.

72
00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:42,431
A couple of teeth and some
toenail clippings,

73
00:03:42,514 --> 00:03:44,099
and we'll be ready for our date.

74
00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:48,979
PETER: Um, hey, Carol, since Ted
dumped you, can I have his shirts?

75
00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:51,940
Peter, what are you gonna do
with Ted's shirts? He's half your size.

76
00:03:52,024 --> 00:03:53,942
I know, I know, but check this out.

77
00:03:54,026 --> 00:03:58,155
Hey, Carol, say "David Banner,
I just slashed your tires. "

78
00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:02,701
-David Banner, I just slashed your tires.
-Aaagh!

79
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I'm priceless!

80
00:04:05,495 --> 00:04:08,207
Peter, sit with Carol. I'm gonna
use the ladies room.

81
00:04:08,290 --> 00:04:10,209
Does she still take the newspaper
in there?

82
00:04:10,292 --> 00:04:11,335
Ugh, yeah.

83
00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:13,962
And after she does, I just can't read it.

84
00:04:14,046 --> 00:04:19,134
Oh! Oh, God! The baby's gonna be here
any minute. We'd better get moving.

85
00:04:19,218 --> 00:04:20,219
Carol. you gotta relax.

86
00:04:20,302 --> 00:04:23,263
You let that kid start calling
the shots now and you're screwed.

87
00:04:25,474 --> 00:04:28,727
Is Mr. Quagmire baby-sitting
all these people, too?

88
00:04:31,313 --> 00:04:35,317
Hey. If I could rearrange the alphabet,
I'd put U and I together.

89
00:04:36,485 --> 00:04:40,155
You must be a parking ticket,
cos you got "fine" written all over you.

90
00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:44,535
Hey, there. I don't wanna
come between you... or do I?

91
00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:47,996
That's awful. That's awful.

92
00:04:48,330 --> 00:04:52,209
Um, this is a song I've been
singing for a number of years,

93
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:56,046
and I find it grows truer and truer
as time goes by.

94
00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:59,716
♪♪ Hungry eyes ♪♪

95
00:05:01,009 --> 00:05:05,472
♪♪ I feel the magic
Between You and I ♪♪

96
00:05:05,556 --> 00:05:07,182
Ooh, I'm hungry for you, baby.

97
00:05:07,266 --> 00:05:08,767
Come on, walk with me, talk with me.

98
00:05:13,939 --> 00:05:15,274
(gasps)

99
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:18,318
Don't worry, Carol. We're almost there.

100
00:05:18,402 --> 00:05:19,653
Peter, why are we stopped?

101
00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:21,864
Um, yeah, I'll have three cheeseburgers.

102
00:05:21,947 --> 00:05:24,199
Peter, for God's sake,
she's having a baby!

103
00:05:24,283 --> 00:05:29,705
Oh, that's right. And a kid's meal.
And, uh, I guess I'll have fries.

104
00:05:29,788 --> 00:05:32,583
I... If I have fries,
is anybody else gonna have any?

105
00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:34,585
'Cause you know, I don't wanna be
the only one eating 'em.

106
00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:35,919
I'll feel like a fatty.

107
00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:42,718
-Nurse, this woman is in labor.
-Excuse me. I was here first.

108
00:05:42,801 --> 00:05:44,428
My leg is asleep.

109
00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:45,512
Oh!

110
00:05:45,596 --> 00:05:47,264
All right, let's see what we have here.

111
00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:49,141
Oh, the baby's crowning.

112
00:05:49,224 --> 00:05:51,101
Oh!

113
00:05:51,185 --> 00:05:53,353
All right, I'm just going
to put on a pair of gloves

114
00:05:53,437 --> 00:05:54,813
and we'll deliver this baby.

115
00:05:56,190 --> 00:05:57,733
These don't feel like gloves at all.

116
00:05:57,816 --> 00:05:59,610
They feel like used needles.

117
00:06:00,068 --> 00:06:01,820
But this is where I always
keep the gloves.

118
00:06:02,321 --> 00:06:04,031
Uh, maybe if I dig deeper.

119
00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:06,658
No, just feels like more needles.

120
00:06:06,992 --> 00:06:08,493
That's the craziest thing.

121
00:06:08,994 --> 00:06:11,163
Oh. Now I'm sure this
isn't the glove drawer.

122
00:06:11,246 --> 00:06:14,041
Oh, my God! Who's gonna
deliver my baby?

123
00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:15,501
Honey, do something!

124
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:18,921
No baby, but it looks like
Carol's blowing a bubble.

125
00:06:19,004 --> 00:06:23,008
-Peter, that's the head. Push! Push!
-I am! It won't go back in.

126
00:06:23,091 --> 00:06:25,969
Not you, Peter. Carol, push.
Peter, you pull.

127
00:06:26,053 --> 00:06:28,472
Aagh!

128
00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:31,016
-Oh, my God!
-What? What?

129
00:06:31,099 --> 00:06:33,185
It's a beautiful baby girl.

130
00:06:33,268 --> 00:06:37,064
-A baby girl. I'm so happy!
-(baby crying)

131
00:06:37,147 --> 00:06:40,400
But she has a penis.
We'll have to do something about that.

132
00:06:40,484 --> 00:06:43,946
-Peter, no! It's a boy.
-Well, how do you like that!

133
00:06:44,029 --> 00:06:46,823
Hey there, little fella.
Welcome to the planet Earth!

134
00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:49,034
Coochie, coochie, coochie-coo!

135
00:06:50,869 --> 00:06:52,913
Hey, he takes after his Uncle Peter.

136
00:06:52,996 --> 00:06:55,123
Peter, he's Carol's baby.
Give him to her.

137
00:06:55,207 --> 00:06:56,542
Oh, oh, yeah.

138
00:06:57,501 --> 00:06:59,503
Honey, you were fantastic.

139
00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:01,505
And you were so cute
when you were holding it.

140
00:07:01,588 --> 00:07:03,173
I know. I didn't wanna give it up.

141
00:07:03,257 --> 00:07:04,258
-Yeah?
-Let's steal it.

142
00:07:04,341 --> 00:07:06,552
-What?
-No, wait. I got a better idea.

143
00:07:06,635 --> 00:07:10,013
-Lois, let's have another baby.
-What?

144
00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:12,724
-Sweetie, you're not serious?
-I sure am.

145
00:07:12,808 --> 00:07:15,352
The best thing I've ever done
with my life is being a dad.

146
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:18,647
Oh, Peter, I think it's a wonderful idea.

147
00:07:20,983 --> 00:07:24,069
Why haven't you sent for help?
(thuds)

148
00:07:27,823 --> 00:07:30,158
I can't believe you guys
wanna have another kid.

149
00:07:30,242 --> 00:07:32,286
Peter, did you find
Chris and Meg's baby books?

150
00:07:32,369 --> 00:07:35,622
No, not yet. Hey, look at this, Lois.
It's our pet rock.

151
00:07:35,706 --> 00:07:38,125
Ah, I remember the first day
we brought it home.

152
00:07:38,542 --> 00:07:40,294
See that? Huh? Huh?

153
00:07:40,377 --> 00:07:42,337
Bad rock! Bad!

154
00:07:42,421 --> 00:07:44,339
We do that outside.

155
00:07:44,423 --> 00:07:46,633
Look at him. He knows what he did.

156
00:07:46,717 --> 00:07:48,969
I found my baby book!

157
00:07:49,303 --> 00:07:52,806
Hey, here's the broken condom
that led to my birth.

158
00:07:52,890 --> 00:07:55,475
And the resulting lawsuit
bought us this house.

159
00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:57,728
You're my favorite mistake.

160
00:07:58,103 --> 00:08:00,689
You see, Meg? I'm the favorite.

161
00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:03,275
Ah, baby books.

162
00:08:03,358 --> 00:08:06,320
Nostalgic for the days
of chafed nipples and episiotomies?

163
00:08:06,403 --> 00:08:10,282
-Oh, somebody hasn't heard the news.
-News? What news?

164
00:08:10,365 --> 00:08:13,243
What's the most wonderful thing
that could happen to this family?

165
00:08:13,327 --> 00:08:14,328
Hmm.

166
00:08:19,124 --> 00:08:20,834
Oh, the Phillies won.

167
00:08:20,918 --> 00:08:23,629
-You're gonna have a baby brother, buddy.
-Or a sister.

168
00:08:23,754 --> 00:08:25,380
Oh, a new baby. That's wonderful.

169
00:08:25,464 --> 00:08:26,924
Call me when Kojak starts.

170
00:08:27,758 --> 00:08:28,759
What?

171
00:08:30,427 --> 00:08:33,305
Another baby? But I'm the baby.

172
00:08:33,388 --> 00:08:35,182
Why the deuce would they
want to replace me?

173
00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:37,851
My cheeks are pinchable,
my bottom is smooth,

174
00:08:37,935 --> 00:08:39,144
my laugh is heart-warming.

175
00:08:41,313 --> 00:08:44,358
What's that? I certainly
am not overreacting.

176
00:08:44,483 --> 00:08:45,817
What the devil do you think
happened to Bobby

177
00:08:45,901 --> 00:08:47,528
when they added Cousin Oliver
to The Brady Bunch?

178
00:08:47,945 --> 00:08:50,155
Oliver, did you break this vase?

179
00:08:50,239 --> 00:08:52,491
-No, the floor did.
-(all laughing)

180
00:08:52,574 --> 00:08:53,992
He's so cute.

181
00:08:54,076 --> 00:08:56,870
-Hey, everybody! I...
-Bobby, you get back in the garage!

182
00:08:56,954 --> 00:08:59,081
Ow! Ow! Ah! Ow!

183
00:08:59,289 --> 00:09:01,500
It can't happen. I was here first.

184
00:09:01,959 --> 00:09:04,044
Well, technically third,
but no time for semantics.

185
00:09:04,127 --> 00:09:06,797
This is Stewie country,
and I intend to keep it that way.

186
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:09,675
As God is my witness,
from this day forward,

187
00:09:09,758 --> 00:09:12,845
Peter and Lois shall not conceive.

188
00:09:13,846 --> 00:09:14,972
(menacing music)

189
00:09:16,974 --> 00:09:18,559
(gasps)

190
00:09:18,642 --> 00:09:19,768
What are you doing here?

191
00:09:19,852 --> 00:09:22,396
Uh, Peter and Lois are, uh,
getting intimate.

192
00:09:22,479 --> 00:09:25,858
My God, I thought I had more time.
I've got to stop them.

193
00:09:25,941 --> 00:09:27,860
Whaaa! Whaaa!

194
00:09:27,943 --> 00:09:30,070
Mommy, Daddy, I had a bad dream!

195
00:09:30,153 --> 00:09:31,989
I saw the bo...

196
00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:35,701
Blast! What the devil is that name again?
Bo... Bo... Bogeyman! Yes, that's it!

197
00:09:35,784 --> 00:09:39,037
-I saw the bogeyman.
-Aww. Did someone have a bad dream?

198
00:09:40,038 --> 00:09:42,082
Why don't you sleep
with Mommy and Daddy?

199
00:09:43,584 --> 00:09:46,003
Peter, for God's sake.
Stewie's right here.

200
00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:49,089
Come on, Lois. We can still do it.
He'll just think I'm hurtin' ya.

201
00:09:49,173 --> 00:09:51,341
Relax, honey. It's only for tonight.

202
00:09:51,425 --> 00:09:52,593
(clicks switch)

203
00:09:53,635 --> 00:09:55,387
(snoring)

204
00:09:56,305 --> 00:09:59,683
Roll over. Roll over, I say!

205
00:09:59,808 --> 00:10:01,810
(Stewie grunts)

206
00:10:01,894 --> 00:10:03,353
STEWIE: Smells like cheese.

207
00:10:05,731 --> 00:10:09,526
-Okay, insert rod support A into slot B.
-That's what...

208
00:10:09,610 --> 00:10:12,529
If you say "That's what she said"
once more, I'll pop you.

209
00:10:12,613 --> 00:10:14,323
What you buildin', neighbour?

210
00:10:14,406 --> 00:10:17,576
Well, we were keeping it a secret,
but you guys are my best friends,

211
00:10:17,659 --> 00:10:21,496
so I'll tell ya. Lois and I
are having another baby!

212
00:10:21,580 --> 00:10:24,374
(all whooping)

213
00:10:24,458 --> 00:10:27,127
We are so throwing you a shower.

214
00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:40,098
Well, fat man, we'll see if Lois
wants to have sexual relations

215
00:10:40,182 --> 00:10:42,684
when she finds lipstick on your collar.

216
00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:46,730
There we are.

217
00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:54,905
Well, look at you there.

218
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:57,491
You're a filthy girl, aren't you?

219
00:10:57,616 --> 00:11:01,286
Yes, yes, you're looking for a bad time,
that's what you're after.

220
00:11:01,411 --> 00:11:03,330
You're a dirty flirt.

221
00:11:03,413 --> 00:11:05,415
You want it bad and you don't care
who you get it from,

222
00:11:05,541 --> 00:11:08,627
because you have no self-respect,
and that gets you off, doesn't it?

223
00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:12,965
Stewie! Bad boy! That's Mommy's make-up.

224
00:11:13,090 --> 00:11:16,802
And you got it all over your father's
favorite shirt. Now, go to your room.

225
00:11:16,927 --> 00:11:19,054
Wow. The evidence is really piling up.

226
00:11:19,137 --> 00:11:22,015
Make any joke you want.
You know I look good.

227
00:11:27,145 --> 00:11:29,481
Oh, my God! They're at it again.

228
00:11:29,565 --> 00:11:32,526
Ah, all this time spent
keeping people from having sex!

229
00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:35,737
Now I know how
the Catholic Church feels. Ba-zing!

230
00:11:35,863 --> 00:11:38,156
Time to initiate phase two.

231
00:11:43,996 --> 00:11:47,541
All right, testing voice modulator.
Blast, you vile woman!

232
00:11:47,624 --> 00:11:50,043
-Blast, you vile woman.
-Ugh, that won't do.

233
00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:54,715
Pardon me, you with
severe aesthetic deficiencies.

234
00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:58,051
-Hey, ugly!
-Excellent. Ha-ha-ha-ha!

235
00:11:58,135 --> 00:12:00,095
Sweet. Ha-ha-ha-ha!

236
00:12:03,682 --> 00:12:04,725
Who's got beer?

237
00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:06,101
(gags)

238
00:12:06,685 --> 00:12:08,020
(Peter thuds)

239
00:12:08,312 --> 00:12:13,609
-Where'd you go, my little pumpkin-eater?
-To the can. Kissing you made me barf.

240
00:12:13,692 --> 00:12:16,278
- What?
- Dad, Meg keeps pushing me.

241
00:12:16,361 --> 00:12:20,866
-Oh, like I could! He's so fat.
-I'm not fat. I'm Rubenesque.

242
00:12:20,949 --> 00:12:22,910
That's it. Your dad's had enough.

243
00:12:22,993 --> 00:12:26,622
I want you kids to go and drink
the antifreeze in the garage.

244
00:12:26,705 --> 00:12:29,249
I'm gonna chug it all
so there's none left for you.

245
00:12:29,333 --> 00:12:30,417
Watch it!

246
00:12:30,501 --> 00:12:31,835
-(glass shatters)
-Peter!

247
00:12:32,127 --> 00:12:33,128
What?

248
00:12:33,462 --> 00:12:34,671
Hey, Peter.

249
00:12:35,881 --> 00:12:39,218
I see nussing. Nussing.

250
00:12:39,301 --> 00:12:42,846
I've had it with these interruptions.
All we want is time alone.

251
00:12:42,930 --> 00:12:45,724
Now, you kids go to your rooms
for the rest of the night.

252
00:12:45,807 --> 00:12:50,020
I don't wanna go to my room.
There's an evil monkey in my closet.

253
00:12:50,812 --> 00:12:53,899
Evil monkey! That's funny.

254
00:12:57,027 --> 00:12:58,070
Argh!

255
00:12:59,738 --> 00:13:02,741
This romantic dinner
was a wonderful idea, Peter.

256
00:13:02,824 --> 00:13:05,577
Aww, you deserve it,
my beautiful princess.

257
00:13:06,912 --> 00:13:10,749
You know, I'm not wearing any panties.

258
00:13:10,832 --> 00:13:14,378
Don't worry.
We can always throw that chair out.

259
00:13:18,215 --> 00:13:19,466
(both kissing)

260
00:13:27,015 --> 00:13:29,726
Very well, then. If I can't
stop them from the outside,

261
00:13:29,810 --> 00:13:32,312
I'll stop them from the inside.

262
00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:44,241
(dramatic music)

263
00:13:47,035 --> 00:13:49,788
(buzzing)

264
00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:56,712
Oh, dear. I'm afraid
you're in a no-fly zone.

265
00:13:57,212 --> 00:13:58,297
(beeping)

266
00:14:03,468 --> 00:14:07,139
As was your fate, Mr. Fly,
so is the fate of every sperm

267
00:14:07,222 --> 00:14:08,599
in Peter's body.

268
00:14:08,765 --> 00:14:10,893
STEWIE: Argh!

269
00:14:17,441 --> 00:14:18,442
Computer on.

270
00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:20,986
COMPUTER: 30 minutes
before ship re-expansion.

271
00:14:21,111 --> 00:14:24,948
Uh, just enough time to obliterate
all those little potential usurpers.

272
00:14:25,073 --> 00:14:26,742
-Engine status?
-COMPUTER: Nominal.

273
00:14:26,825 --> 00:14:28,410
-Fuel supply?
-COMPUTER: Full.

274
00:14:28,493 --> 00:14:29,494
Air supply.

275
00:14:29,578 --> 00:14:32,915
♪♪ Lost in love and I don't know much ♪

276
00:14:32,998 --> 00:14:35,209
Very well. Through the lips,
over the gums.

277
00:14:35,292 --> 00:14:36,960
Look out, testicles, here I come!

278
00:14:39,463 --> 00:14:41,298
♪♪ Lois ♪♪

279
00:14:41,423 --> 00:14:45,260
♪♪ You can't spell "love" without L-O ♪

280
00:14:45,344 --> 00:14:49,723
♪♪ You can't spell "is" without I-S ♪♪

281
00:14:49,848 --> 00:14:54,102
♪♪ You can't spell "silo" without Lois ♪♪

282
00:14:54,186 --> 00:14:55,896
And solo from the pet rock.

283
00:14:56,980 --> 00:14:59,525
No! No! No! No!

284
00:14:59,733 --> 00:15:02,402
Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God!

285
00:15:05,906 --> 00:15:10,285
COMPUTER: Warning. Host's oxygen levels
rising. Heart rate increasing.

286
00:15:10,369 --> 00:15:14,581
My God. Either they're watching Batman
or they're doing the do.

287
00:15:17,584 --> 00:15:21,505
Hmm. If I'm to reach the testicles
and destroy the sperm before coitus,

288
00:15:21,588 --> 00:15:22,589
I must buy some time.

289
00:15:22,881 --> 00:15:26,885
-Computer, location.
-COMPUTER: 15mm northeast of the duodenum.

290
00:15:26,969 --> 00:15:28,720
Very well. Fire phasers!

291
00:15:30,347 --> 00:15:32,224
Oh, jeez! My duodenum's acting up.

292
00:15:34,726 --> 00:15:37,020
COMPUTER: Entering testicular perimeter.

293
00:15:41,859 --> 00:15:45,571
Well, well. Do you know what today is?

294
00:15:45,696 --> 00:15:48,407
A bad day to be a sperm.

295
00:15:51,577 --> 00:15:53,787
(firing)

296
00:16:20,731 --> 00:16:22,232
(grunts) What the deuce?

297
00:16:31,617 --> 00:16:34,953
-Well, it seems you're out of ammunition.
-As are you, Stewart.

298
00:16:35,037 --> 00:16:37,581
-(gasps) You know my name.
-I know many things.

299
00:16:37,664 --> 00:16:39,082
- Indeed. Yes.
- Quite.

300
00:16:39,166 --> 00:16:40,918
-Hmm.
-Then, perhaps, we should exchange

301
00:16:41,001 --> 00:16:43,128
monosyllabic expressions
of arrogance in person.

302
00:16:43,212 --> 00:16:44,588
-Hm. Yes.
-Mm.

303
00:16:48,342 --> 00:16:52,137
-Peter, I'm waiting.
-PETER: I'm comin'.

304
00:16:56,183 --> 00:16:58,352
(South American dance music playing)

305
00:17:07,069 --> 00:17:09,196
-You came unarmed?
-As we agreed.

306
00:17:09,279 --> 00:17:11,114
Admirable. But foolish!

307
00:17:11,490 --> 00:17:12,699
(firing)

308
00:17:15,118 --> 00:17:18,080
It's going to be a shame
to destroy such a worthy adversary.

309
00:17:18,163 --> 00:17:19,957
My thoughts exactly.

310
00:17:20,624 --> 00:17:22,125
(both grunting)

311
00:17:31,426 --> 00:17:34,888
-I've got you in the sleeper hold.
-As I you. (grunts)

312
00:17:34,972 --> 00:17:37,850
Your attempts to escape are...

313
00:17:37,933 --> 00:17:39,685
Futile.

314
00:17:40,477 --> 00:17:41,520
(both snoring)

315
00:17:54,408 --> 00:17:57,035
Well, well. Nap time appears to be over.

316
00:17:57,119 --> 00:17:58,704
Go ahead. Finish me off.

317
00:17:58,787 --> 00:18:01,206
My one regret is that I won't
be able to do away

318
00:18:01,290 --> 00:18:02,916
with that red-headed woman.

319
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:05,544
What the...? How the devil
do you know about Lois?

320
00:18:05,627 --> 00:18:09,214
You've seen that little gleam
in the fat man's eye? That twinkle?

321
00:18:09,298 --> 00:18:11,216
That's me, plotting my escape.

322
00:18:11,425 --> 00:18:15,304
You hate Lois? I hate Lois, too.
What else do you hate?

323
00:18:15,387 --> 00:18:18,640
People who send pictures
of their families as Christmas cards.

324
00:18:18,724 --> 00:18:20,726
Ooh, ohh. People who use
the word "guestimate".

325
00:18:20,809 --> 00:18:22,728
Guys who wear sandals with socks.

326
00:18:22,811 --> 00:18:26,315
BOTH: Jason Patric. Ew!

327
00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:29,276
You know, perhaps I've been looking
at this the wrong way.

328
00:18:29,526 --> 00:18:32,362
I dare say, I should embrace the idea
of having a little brother.

329
00:18:32,571 --> 00:18:36,241
After all, it's obvious
we'd make quite a formidable team.

330
00:18:39,036 --> 00:18:40,078
LOIS: Ah!

331
00:18:40,412 --> 00:18:41,455
(both laughing)

332
00:18:44,833 --> 00:18:45,918
(both laughing)

333
00:18:53,675 --> 00:18:54,676
(ice shatters)

334
00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:55,886
(both laughing)

335
00:18:57,930 --> 00:19:00,307
-STEWIE: (gasps)
-COMPUTER: Two minutes to re-expansion.

336
00:19:00,390 --> 00:19:01,391
-(beeping)
-Dear God.

337
00:19:01,475 --> 00:19:02,559
I'll never get out of here in time.

338
00:19:02,643 --> 00:19:04,353
Move aside. I know a short cut.

339
00:19:08,524 --> 00:19:10,400
Mm.

340
00:19:14,571 --> 00:19:16,907
Mm.

341
00:19:20,410 --> 00:19:21,995
(gags, coughs)

342
00:19:25,624 --> 00:19:27,835
COMPUTER: Re-expansion in 60 seconds.

343
00:19:27,918 --> 00:19:30,671
There's the tear duct.
We've gotta make him cry.

344
00:19:30,754 --> 00:19:32,589
I think I know just the way.

345
00:19:36,718 --> 00:19:38,095
All right. Follow my lead.

346
00:19:41,974 --> 00:19:46,144
♪♪ Love lift us up
Where we belong ♪♪

347
00:19:47,563 --> 00:19:51,191
♪♪ Where the eagles fly ♪♪

348
00:19:51,567 --> 00:19:54,695
♪♪ On a mountain high ♪♪

349
00:19:56,029 --> 00:20:00,701
♪♪ Love lift us up
Where we belong ♪♪

350
00:20:01,577 --> 00:20:04,204
Oh, Peter. I love you.

351
00:20:04,288 --> 00:20:07,124
And I love you, Lou Gossett Junior.

352
00:20:07,207 --> 00:20:10,961
It worked. You've got to get
down there so you can be born.

353
00:20:11,044 --> 00:20:13,130
COMPUTER: 10 seconds to re-expansion.

354
00:20:13,213 --> 00:20:16,133
-I guess this is goodbye.
-For now.

355
00:20:16,550 --> 00:20:20,470
When you're born, don't let the doctor
slap you on the ass. It degrades us all.

356
00:20:25,434 --> 00:20:27,936
(honks)

357
00:20:36,570 --> 00:20:38,530
Give it to her good, old man.

358
00:20:38,655 --> 00:20:41,033
Peter, wait. I've been thinking.

359
00:20:41,158 --> 00:20:44,536
It's been a long time since
we had such a wonderful night.

360
00:20:44,620 --> 00:20:47,623
And it's gonna be impossible
to spend time together like this

361
00:20:47,706 --> 00:20:49,374
if we're raising another child.

362
00:20:49,458 --> 00:20:53,504
Well, I thought, you know,
Brian would do a lot of the work.

363
00:20:53,587 --> 00:20:57,382
I don't know. I mean,
Stewie alone needs so much attention.

364
00:20:57,841 --> 00:21:00,177
Maybe we should hold off
on having another baby.

365
00:21:00,260 --> 00:21:02,221
-(gasps)
-Yeah, you may be right.

366
00:21:02,304 --> 00:21:04,723
No, no, no! You must
receive his seed!

367
00:21:04,806 --> 00:21:09,186
-Look who's here!
-But, Lois, we still get to do it, right?

368
00:21:09,269 --> 00:21:12,981
-Honey, not in front of Stewie.
-Okay. Back in a minute.

369
00:21:13,065 --> 00:21:18,320
No, no, no! Come back here
this instant, you fat bastard, and do her!

370
00:21:19,821 --> 00:21:23,033
Stop! Stop it! Stop tickling me! Stop it!

371
00:21:23,116 --> 00:21:25,577
I'll kill you, I swear to God!

372
00:21:29,206 --> 00:21:31,375
Wha... Wha... What did you just do?

373
00:21:33,877 --> 00:21:36,922
-(sighs)
-No!

374
00:21:37,005 --> 00:21:40,259
You killed my brother!
How could you, you...

375
00:21:41,468 --> 00:21:44,555
Oh, my God! The twinkle. He's alive.

376
00:21:44,638 --> 00:21:47,724
Well played, sperm brother. Well played.

377
00:21:48,308 --> 00:21:50,185
He's more clever than I thought.

378
00:21:50,811 --> 00:21:52,563
Perhaps too clever.

379
00:21:56,984 --> 00:21:58,652
(theme music playing)