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00:00:02,394 --> 00:00:04,652
♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
2
00:00:04,672 --> 00:00:07,673
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
3
00:00:07,900 --> 00:00:11,343
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:11,495 --> 00:00:14,346
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
5
00:00:14,498 --> 00:00:18,075
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
6
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♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪
7
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♪ All the things that make us ♪
8
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♪ Laugh and cry ♪
9
00:00:24,341 --> 00:00:30,070
♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
10
00:00:33,868 --> 00:00:35,259
Welcome to tumbling class.
11
00:00:35,277 --> 00:00:36,535
Moms, please enjoy,
12
00:00:36,686 --> 00:00:39,187
while dads grumble
about how much the class costs.
13
00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:42,099
240 bucks for a mat and a room.
14
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Now let's all gather 'round
15
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because Stewie is gonna do
a somersault.
16
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(grunting)
17
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(groans) Nailed it.
18
00:00:57,707 --> 00:00:59,874
Well, that's basically fine,
and I don't honestly care,
19
00:00:59,968 --> 00:01:04,379
so unless there's an unexpected
appearance from a rival baby...
20
00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:06,973
Perhaps I could take a shot.
21
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-(gasps)
-It's Doug!
22
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That's Stewie's rival.
23
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What are you doing here, Doug?
24
00:01:11,130 --> 00:01:13,054
Eh, thought I'd give
this tumbling thing a try.
25
00:01:13,074 --> 00:01:14,740
So what do I do,
just fall down
26
00:01:14,967 --> 00:01:17,058
like literally anyone affected
by gravity?
27
00:01:17,078 --> 00:01:18,985
Um, there's a bit more to it
than that.
28
00:01:19,138 --> 00:01:20,746
One can't just show up
and hope to execute,
29
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say, a perfect somers...
30
00:01:23,733 --> 00:01:25,492
Oh, oh, he's very good!
31
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(cheering)
32
00:01:27,237 --> 00:01:28,903
Hmm. Something like that?
33
00:01:28,923 --> 00:01:30,814
-Wow!
-Now that's tumbling!
34
00:01:30,833 --> 00:01:33,317
Boys can be good at this till
nine, then the whispers start.
35
00:01:33,410 --> 00:01:35,243
Calm down,
it wasn't that great.
36
00:01:35,262 --> 00:01:37,654
Stewie, give Doug
your shirt and overalls.
37
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He's my son now.
38
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ANNOUNCER: We now return
to Christopher Nolan's Tenet.
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I'm already completely lost.
40
00:01:45,664 --> 00:01:48,923
Dad, can I ask you
something about girls?
41
00:01:49,017 --> 00:01:50,109
Are you wearing a wire?
42
00:01:50,336 --> 00:01:52,169
There's a girl in my class
I have a crush on,
43
00:01:52,262 --> 00:01:54,020
and I can't get her
to notice me.
44
00:01:54,115 --> 00:01:56,406
Ah, now I understand.
45
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Lucky for you,
there's a bunch of old movies
46
00:02:00,028 --> 00:02:01,511
on this very subject.
47
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Here. Sixteen Candles.
48
00:02:03,365 --> 00:02:05,349
Can't Buy Me Love,
Say Anything...
49
00:02:05,367 --> 00:02:07,960
all on very inconvenient VHS.
50
00:02:08,187 --> 00:02:10,871
VHS? What do those letters
stand for?
51
00:02:10,965 --> 00:02:13,206
That information has been lost
to history.
52
00:02:13,359 --> 00:02:14,967
Anyway, Chris,
just watch these movies
53
00:02:15,194 --> 00:02:17,361
and do what
the 28-year-old teenagers do.
54
00:02:17,379 --> 00:02:18,637
I guess I could try.
55
00:02:18,864 --> 00:02:22,366
After all, they tried to
do Superman in Boston once.
56
00:02:22,459 --> 00:02:25,535
I've noticed that you're never
around when Superman's here.
57
00:02:25,554 --> 00:02:27,220
Are... are you Superman?
58
00:02:27,373 --> 00:02:28,889
What is ya,
wacked in the head?
59
00:02:28,983 --> 00:02:31,224
I'm Clahk.
Plain ol' Clahk.
60
00:02:31,377 --> 00:02:33,819
Okay, back to
our Boston newspaper job.
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00:02:34,046 --> 00:02:35,970
-(phone rings)
-Spotlight.
62
00:02:35,990 --> 00:02:37,531
What?!
63
00:02:41,978 --> 00:02:43,811
(gasping, murmuring)
64
00:02:43,873 --> 00:02:45,146
Show-and-tell time.
65
00:02:45,166 --> 00:02:47,166
Finally a chance
to reclaim my honor
66
00:02:47,317 --> 00:02:49,001
after that whole
tumbling fiasco.
67
00:02:49,228 --> 00:02:51,670
Next up for show-and-tell:
Stewie.
68
00:02:51,897 --> 00:02:53,130
Hello, everyone.
69
00:02:54,066 --> 00:02:55,340
This is a weird seashell
70
00:02:55,567 --> 00:02:57,584
that kind of looks
like female genitalia
71
00:02:57,678 --> 00:02:58,902
that my dad likes.
72
00:02:58,921 --> 00:03:00,404
Lois, where's my she shell?
73
00:03:00,497 --> 00:03:02,572
Oh, Stewie took it
to show-and-tell.
74
00:03:02,666 --> 00:03:04,908
Well, I hope no one puts it
to their ear.
75
00:03:04,927 --> 00:03:06,393
Incredible, right?
76
00:03:08,505 --> 00:03:10,022
(yawns)
77
00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:12,173
Thank you, Stewie.
78
00:03:12,193 --> 00:03:15,527
And, so you know, many
middle-aged women have seashells
79
00:03:15,679 --> 00:03:17,087
in their powder rooms.
80
00:03:17,105 --> 00:03:19,514
Okay,
next up is Doug.
81
00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:21,033
Hello, gang,
82
00:03:21,184 --> 00:03:24,110
and have I got
some show-and-tell for you.
83
00:03:24,263 --> 00:03:26,763
This is a ticket stub
from a PG movie
84
00:03:26,782 --> 00:03:28,615
that I got to see
in the theater...
85
00:03:28,767 --> 00:03:29,933
alone.
86
00:03:30,026 --> 00:03:31,210
KIDS:
Wow!
87
00:03:31,361 --> 00:03:34,104
Also, I've been on
a Disney cruise.
88
00:03:34,197 --> 00:03:36,048
Hey, who's this
in the picture with Moana?
89
00:03:36,199 --> 00:03:38,442
(chuckles):
Oh, me? Huh.
90
00:03:38,535 --> 00:03:41,127
-KID: No way!
-KID 2: Moana is famously
agoraphobic.
91
00:03:41,255 --> 00:03:43,780
Yes, but she's managing it
day by day,
92
00:03:43,799 --> 00:03:45,057
thanks to CBD oil.
93
00:03:45,208 --> 00:03:46,967
This cruise was a big step
for her.
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00:03:47,061 --> 00:03:48,376
Okay,
I think we can all agree that
95
00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:49,877
these are very lame
show-and-tell...
96
00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:53,139
And finally, a piece of candy
from the London airport.
97
00:03:53,292 --> 00:03:55,809
(gasps) Aw, a Lion Bar?
98
00:03:55,961 --> 00:03:58,553
I'm sorry, did I say
"a piece of candy"?
99
00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:01,648
More like British candy
for the whole class!
100
00:04:01,800 --> 00:04:04,243
Drumstick Squashies
and rose-flavored wine gums
101
00:04:04,394 --> 00:04:06,303
-for everyone!
-(cheering)
102
00:04:06,396 --> 00:04:08,321
Hello, Show-and-Tell National
Championships
103
00:04:08,474 --> 00:04:11,992
in DeKalb, Illinois,
I have a nominee for you.
104
00:04:12,086 --> 00:04:14,644
Dammit. I'm sick of
being one-upped by Doug.
105
00:04:14,738 --> 00:04:15,921
Hurts.
106
00:04:16,072 --> 00:04:18,507
It hurts worse than a trip
to the barber shop.
107
00:04:19,651 --> 00:04:22,152
(screaming)
108
00:04:22,212 --> 00:04:25,180
This is what babies think
happens at haircuts!
109
00:04:28,084 --> 00:04:29,226
(knocking)
110
00:04:30,162 --> 00:04:32,012
Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Burbeck.
111
00:04:32,164 --> 00:04:33,421
Do you have a daughter
named Jennifer,
112
00:04:33,515 --> 00:04:36,275
who is currently smeared
across Highway 9?
113
00:04:36,426 --> 00:04:37,334
Joe, it's us.
114
00:04:37,427 --> 00:04:39,336
Oh, sorry.
That's my next stop.
115
00:04:39,354 --> 00:04:42,005
Peter, your son was lurking
outside a classmate's window
116
00:04:42,024 --> 00:04:44,449
with this boom box,
playing Peter Gabriel.
117
00:04:44,601 --> 00:04:46,618
He's being charged
with felony stalking.
118
00:04:46,845 --> 00:04:49,863
I also tried to use science
to make a sex slave
119
00:04:50,015 --> 00:04:51,623
from a magazine photo.
120
00:04:51,775 --> 00:04:53,366
Oh, this is horrifying!
121
00:04:53,519 --> 00:04:55,852
-Actually, it's the '80s.
-What?
122
00:04:55,871 --> 00:04:58,188
Well, it appears that
someone has exposed your son
123
00:04:58,281 --> 00:05:02,617
to the very problematic
teen films of the 1980s.
124
00:05:03,244 --> 00:05:05,028
Peter, tell me it wasn't you.
125
00:05:05,047 --> 00:05:06,546
Honestly, Lois, I have no idea.
126
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,715
My brain can't even
think thoughts no more
127
00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:10,976
-'cause of the Internet.
-Ugh, that's it.
128
00:05:11,127 --> 00:05:13,645
From now on,
you are an outside Peter.
129
00:05:13,797 --> 00:05:14,962
Go on! Get!
130
00:05:14,982 --> 00:05:16,540
(kissing noises) Outside!
131
00:05:16,633 --> 00:05:17,566
(grunts)
132
00:05:20,712 --> 00:05:23,405
Go to your Peter house.
Go to your Peter house!
133
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(thunder crashes)
134
00:05:36,411 --> 00:05:38,061
God, look at Doug over there,
135
00:05:38,154 --> 00:05:39,838
throwing a Frisbee
with the kindergarteners
136
00:05:39,989 --> 00:05:41,673
and a shorter-than-average
first-grader.
137
00:05:41,825 --> 00:05:43,508
-Thinks he's so cool.
-Yup.
138
00:05:43,735 --> 00:05:46,160
There must be some way
I can finally one-up that guy,
139
00:05:46,254 --> 00:05:48,363
and you're clearly looking
for cat turds right now.
140
00:05:48,365 --> 00:05:50,574
Yup. Y-- Huh?
Wait, uh, wait.
141
00:05:50,592 --> 00:05:53,426
-(sniffs) Aw, gum.
-Help me out, man.
142
00:05:53,579 --> 00:05:55,503
I need something to win back
everyone's attention.
143
00:05:55,597 --> 00:05:57,004
Wait, I know!
144
00:05:57,024 --> 00:05:59,006
What if I flip my eyelids
inside out?
145
00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:00,934
Show everyone what a freak I am.
146
00:06:01,086 --> 00:06:03,269
Huh? I could carve this out.
147
00:06:03,364 --> 00:06:04,863
Right?
This could be my thing.
148
00:06:05,014 --> 00:06:06,272
I don't think so, Stewie.
149
00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:09,034
All right, well what if I just,
like, do Doug's mom?
150
00:06:09,261 --> 00:06:11,203
Uh... Y-- I-I mean,
yeah, yeah, that--
151
00:06:11,430 --> 00:06:13,113
I mean, that would...
that would pretty much do it.
152
00:06:13,265 --> 00:06:15,432
Awesome! How do you dial a phone
or have sex?
153
00:06:15,450 --> 00:06:17,626
Or stand up
without using your hands?
154
00:06:20,530 --> 00:06:21,546
Let me tell you something,
Brian...
155
00:06:21,773 --> 00:06:23,673
(wind whistles)
156
00:06:29,539 --> 00:06:30,347
Oh, no!
157
00:06:31,617 --> 00:06:34,134
You said it,
relatively-short-first-grader.
158
00:06:34,286 --> 00:06:36,043
That Frisbee is way up there.
159
00:06:36,138 --> 00:06:38,288
I'm too scared
to climb up that high.
160
00:06:38,381 --> 00:06:40,548
Me, too,
average-height-kindergartener.
161
00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:42,809
That jungle gym dates back
to the 1930s,
162
00:06:42,961 --> 00:06:44,569
when the lives of children
were expendable.
163
00:06:44,721 --> 00:06:46,980
Someone would have to be crazy
to climb up there.
164
00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:48,222
STEWIE:
I'll do it.
165
00:06:48,242 --> 00:06:49,466
What?
166
00:06:49,484 --> 00:06:50,984
I'll climb up there
and get that Frisbee.
167
00:06:51,136 --> 00:06:53,078
Doug may be afraid,
but I'm not.
168
00:06:53,305 --> 00:06:55,472
Just give me a day
to get prepared and gear up,
169
00:06:55,490 --> 00:06:57,824
and at sunrise tomorrow,
I will climb up there
170
00:06:57,976 --> 00:06:59,309
and retrieve that Frisbee.
171
00:06:59,327 --> 00:07:01,311
Or we can ask Spider-Man
to do it.
172
00:07:01,329 --> 00:07:03,496
He came to my birthday party.
I know him.
173
00:07:03,649 --> 00:07:05,665
That wasn't the real Spider-Man.
That was your dad.
174
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:08,093
We could see his hernia popping
through the suit.
175
00:07:08,244 --> 00:07:09,502
Hey, Tyler!
176
00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:12,097
Heard Spider-Man had a pretty
good time at your party.
177
00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:21,681
Don't mind me, Brian.
Just pushing the edge.
178
00:07:21,833 --> 00:07:23,090
Hmm.
179
00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:24,425
14 zippers, if you must know,
180
00:07:24,445 --> 00:07:26,169
but it's not about my pants,
Brian.
181
00:07:26,262 --> 00:07:28,171
It's about my fearlessness
and pants.
182
00:07:28,190 --> 00:07:29,448
Now, I need to plan out
183
00:07:29,599 --> 00:07:31,616
every last inch
of my climb tomorrow.
184
00:07:31,768 --> 00:07:33,952
If I do this right,
I'm gonna be remembered forever,
185
00:07:34,179 --> 00:07:36,270
like 9/11 was
for a few years.
186
00:07:36,364 --> 00:07:37,530
You're just climbing
a jungle gym.
187
00:07:37,683 --> 00:07:40,183
-It's not a big deal.
-Not a big deal?
188
00:07:40,185 --> 00:07:41,943
I pull this off,
I go down in history!
189
00:07:42,037 --> 00:07:45,297
Like my ancestor: The Guy Who
Was Hanged Next to Nathan Hale.
190
00:07:45,448 --> 00:07:50,043
I regret that I have but
one life to give for my country.
191
00:07:50,195 --> 00:07:52,212
If you kill me,
I'm gonna immediately void.
192
00:07:52,364 --> 00:07:55,699
All over here.
All over here.
193
00:07:55,717 --> 00:07:58,560
You, historian,
write down both our things.
194
00:08:02,465 --> 00:08:05,208
Hey, Lois, how about we get
a little three-way going?
195
00:08:05,301 --> 00:08:08,394
-You, me and the seashell?
-Oh, forget it, Peter.
196
00:08:08,547 --> 00:08:10,137
After that whole thing
with the '80s movies,
197
00:08:10,157 --> 00:08:11,472
I'm very upset with you.
198
00:08:11,566 --> 00:08:13,808
Well, can you use that anger
in the sex?
199
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:17,554
No, Peter, your '80s nostalgia
isn't funny anymore.
200
00:08:17,572 --> 00:08:20,724
It's tired and worn out,
and borderline dangerous.
201
00:08:20,742 --> 00:08:23,243
I mean, those old references
just don't play
202
00:08:23,395 --> 00:08:26,153
-the same in today's world.
-What you talkin' 'bout, Lois?
203
00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:29,065
This! This is exactly
what I'm talking about!
204
00:08:29,158 --> 00:08:31,510
When are you gonna let
the '80s go?
205
00:08:31,661 --> 00:08:34,679
Never! The '80s will always be
the best decade.
206
00:08:34,831 --> 00:08:36,239
And I'm confident
207
00:08:36,258 --> 00:08:37,999
that non-whites and women
would agree with that.
208
00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:40,185
Everyone else, too.
And I'm gonna prove it.
209
00:08:40,412 --> 00:08:43,004
Family! Come here
conveniently fast, please!
210
00:08:43,098 --> 00:08:44,097
What is it, Peter?
211
00:08:44,249 --> 00:08:45,749
I have decided to prove
to you all
212
00:08:45,767 --> 00:08:48,360
that the '80s are still
relevant and hilarious.
213
00:08:48,511 --> 00:08:51,588
-But they're not.
-And in keeping
with the wonderful 1980s,
214
00:08:51,606 --> 00:08:54,181
I'm gonna go upstairs
and drill a hole in the wall
215
00:08:54,276 --> 00:08:55,683
to watch girls shower.
216
00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:58,370
Peter, in addition to
that being wildly problematic,
217
00:08:58,597 --> 00:09:01,188
you can't just drill a hole
in a structural wall.
218
00:09:01,283 --> 00:09:03,375
Do you even know
how to do that?
219
00:09:03,602 --> 00:09:07,045
Okay, that's one drywall bit,
one masonry bit,
220
00:09:07,196 --> 00:09:10,031
one spur point bit,
one tile bit,
221
00:09:10,125 --> 00:09:12,442
one drill with
a hammer action setting,
222
00:09:12,460 --> 00:09:15,111
one wire detector,
one stud finder,
223
00:09:15,130 --> 00:09:16,537
and one grease pencil.
224
00:09:16,557 --> 00:09:19,115
Sounds like someone's drilling
a hole in the wall
225
00:09:19,134 --> 00:09:20,466
to watch girls shower.
226
00:09:20,619 --> 00:09:22,877
-Oh, big time.
-Did you pull a permit?
227
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:24,120
City hall's next.
228
00:09:24,139 --> 00:09:26,147
BOTH:
Nice!
229
00:09:34,132 --> 00:09:36,891
♪ I'm all right ♪
230
00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:39,393
♪ Nobody worry about me. ♪
231
00:09:39,487 --> 00:09:41,580
(splattering)
232
00:09:42,583 --> 00:09:44,641
Oh, my God! What did you do?
233
00:09:44,659 --> 00:09:46,492
He was supposed to get away.
234
00:09:46,645 --> 00:09:48,920
It was gonna be
harmless '80s fun.
235
00:09:49,072 --> 00:09:50,647
You killed the gopher!
236
00:09:50,740 --> 00:09:53,316
-He's all right?
-No! He's not all right!
237
00:09:53,318 --> 00:09:54,667
We're all gonna get laid?
238
00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:56,002
Dammit, Peter!
239
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:58,913
Stop saying blandly upbeat
things from the movie!
240
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:00,581
This has to stop!
241
00:10:00,601 --> 00:10:02,083
(sighs) You're right.
242
00:10:02,177 --> 00:10:04,251
Man, and I was so sure
that stuff from the '80s
243
00:10:04,271 --> 00:10:05,937
would still play the same today.
244
00:10:06,164 --> 00:10:07,772
I guess people are
only interested in that
245
00:10:07,924 --> 00:10:09,641
for 19 seasons.
246
00:10:09,793 --> 00:10:11,184
Hi, I'm Kenny Loggins,
247
00:10:11,278 --> 00:10:13,427
and I'm still very interested
in '80s references.
248
00:10:13,447 --> 00:10:15,855
Every time Family Guy plays
one of my songs,
249
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:18,174
I get a new hot tub
for my Colorado deck.
250
00:10:18,267 --> 00:10:21,010
♪ I'm all right ♪
251
00:10:21,029 --> 00:10:23,622
♪ Nobody worry about me. ♪
252
00:10:25,684 --> 00:10:28,609
All right, you guys ready
to watch some history be made
253
00:10:28,629 --> 00:10:29,869
by Stewie Griffin?
254
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:31,779
DOUG:
And guest?
255
00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:34,374
What the...?
11, 12, 13...
256
00:10:34,468 --> 00:10:37,118
15 zippers! You've got to be
(bleep) kidding me!
257
00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:38,470
What do you say, Stewie?
258
00:10:38,697 --> 00:10:41,139
A friendly race to the top
in front of all these kids,
259
00:10:41,366 --> 00:10:43,958
plus the red-haired girl
from the Charlie Brown cartoons?
260
00:10:44,052 --> 00:10:47,036
Aw. I care about her opinion
most of all!
261
00:10:47,055 --> 00:10:48,295
You don't care about me.
262
00:10:48,390 --> 00:10:50,482
You just wanted to wear
my ballerina skirt.
263
00:10:50,633 --> 00:10:52,725
I especially love
her sense of humor
264
00:10:52,878 --> 00:10:54,301
and inventive storytelling.
265
00:10:54,396 --> 00:10:57,489
Okay, you're on.
First to the Frisbee wins.
266
00:10:58,733 --> 00:11:01,308
You realize, Doug,
we might die up there today.
267
00:11:01,328 --> 00:11:04,287
Then I'll see you in heck.
268
00:11:06,391 --> 00:11:08,500
♪
269
00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:13,338
(grunts)
270
00:11:15,066 --> 00:11:16,341
(grunts)
271
00:11:16,492 --> 00:11:19,752
Okay, toughest part of
the climb: Dried Booger Ridge.
272
00:11:19,905 --> 00:11:21,971
(straining)
273
00:11:24,910 --> 00:11:27,018
♪
274
00:11:30,598 --> 00:11:32,482
(gasps) The Frisbee!
275
00:11:34,861 --> 00:11:37,362
♪
276
00:11:42,018 --> 00:11:43,927
Yes! I win!
277
00:11:43,945 --> 00:11:47,205
♪ I'm going all the way ♪
278
00:11:47,432 --> 00:11:51,584
♪ Sooner or later
gotta love somebody. ♪
279
00:11:52,729 --> 00:11:54,129
Wha...?
280
00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:57,198
(grunting)
281
00:11:57,292 --> 00:12:00,051
Oh, no! Help! Help!
282
00:12:00,962 --> 00:12:02,779
Help me!
283
00:12:02,872 --> 00:12:05,114
What? We can't hear you!
284
00:12:05,133 --> 00:12:09,135
Our voices are very faint
because we are so distant!
285
00:12:09,287 --> 00:12:11,120
Distant from you, he means!
286
00:12:11,139 --> 00:12:12,880
We're not distant
from each other!
287
00:12:12,974 --> 00:12:15,141
We're standing relatively
close together!
288
00:12:15,293 --> 00:12:18,127
You probably were already
able to infer that,
289
00:12:18,146 --> 00:12:20,888
and Connor just wasted
everyone's time!
290
00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:22,556
My God. I...
291
00:12:22,576 --> 00:12:23,908
I'm stuck up here.
292
00:12:24,060 --> 00:12:26,202
Better use my emergency flare.
293
00:12:29,449 --> 00:12:31,750
We've got a flare.
294
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:35,462
I'm still stuck,
but now I have confidence.
295
00:12:41,577 --> 00:12:42,743
(straining)
296
00:12:42,763 --> 00:12:44,003
My foot is still stuck,
297
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:45,597
and it's really starting
to hurt.
298
00:12:45,824 --> 00:12:47,915
And I know you're going to be
insufferable about this.
299
00:12:48,009 --> 00:12:49,325
Stewie, come on.
300
00:12:49,344 --> 00:12:51,102
Right now your safety is
what matters.
301
00:12:51,329 --> 00:12:53,587
And you've got an owie
in need of attention.
302
00:12:53,607 --> 00:12:57,025
I'm gonna have to radio basecamp
for help on my Elmo phone.
303
00:12:58,169 --> 00:13:00,111
ELMO:
Elmo love you so much!
304
00:13:00,263 --> 00:13:02,171
Basecamp. Come in, basecamp.
305
00:13:02,265 --> 00:13:03,339
Elmo your friend.
306
00:13:03,432 --> 00:13:04,598
Elmo, we've got a man down.
307
00:13:04,692 --> 00:13:06,600
I need you to connect me
with search and rescue.
308
00:13:06,620 --> 00:13:08,528
Please don't believe rumors
about Elmo.
309
00:13:08,680 --> 00:13:12,015
(distorted):
Just to be safe, Elmo play
with you at least 500 yards
310
00:13:12,033 --> 00:13:14,775
-from school or public park...
-I'm having trouble hearing you,
Elmo.
311
00:13:14,795 --> 00:13:16,019
-(static noise)
-Are you there?
312
00:13:16,037 --> 00:13:17,870
Elmo? Elmo?
313
00:13:18,006 --> 00:13:20,281
Hello?
Dammit, I've lost basecamp.
314
00:13:20,375 --> 00:13:23,192
Must be interference
from that big storm coming.
315
00:13:23,286 --> 00:13:25,028
(thunder rumbling)
316
00:13:26,031 --> 00:13:27,972
Too dangerous
to risk going for help now.
317
00:13:28,124 --> 00:13:30,332
I think we're gonna have
to wait it out, Stewie.
318
00:13:30,334 --> 00:13:33,144
Just you and me,
and the homeless people
319
00:13:33,296 --> 00:13:35,480
who live and copulate in
the playground among children.
320
00:13:35,707 --> 00:13:37,816
Yes, we as a society have
clearly just decided
321
00:13:38,043 --> 00:13:39,526
we're gonna roll with that.
322
00:13:43,715 --> 00:13:45,806
(Peter sniffs)
323
00:13:45,900 --> 00:13:47,733
Peter, what are you doing?
324
00:13:47,886 --> 00:13:49,402
Well, you know how you told me
to give up the '80s
325
00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:51,996
and find a whole different
decade to be into?
326
00:13:52,223 --> 00:13:54,815
-No, that's not what I--
-Well, I'm doin' the 1920s!
327
00:13:54,868 --> 00:13:58,711
Not 'cause of legal cocaine but
mostly 'cause of legal cocaine.
328
00:13:59,673 --> 00:14:00,988
(sniffs)
329
00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:04,217
Time to design a very stupid
flying contraption.
330
00:14:05,995 --> 00:14:08,162
-(plane rattling)
-Cocaine plane!
331
00:14:08,256 --> 00:14:10,139
(thunder rumbling)
332
00:14:13,336 --> 00:14:16,913
Um, why is Dad dressed
like that now?
333
00:14:16,931 --> 00:14:21,842
Oh, Lord, Peter, did you switch
to the 1910s for silent movies?
334
00:14:21,862 --> 00:14:23,695
(old-timey music plays)
335
00:14:23,846 --> 00:14:26,322
♪
336
00:14:32,597 --> 00:14:34,113
(groans) Enough of this!
337
00:14:34,265 --> 00:14:36,933
Oh, you are so damned
exhausting, Peter!
338
00:14:36,951 --> 00:14:39,435
Just 'cause you stop being crazy
about one decade
339
00:14:39,454 --> 00:14:41,546
doesn't mean you have to be
crazy about another!
340
00:14:41,697 --> 00:14:45,108
How about you just be a normal
human being for once?!
341
00:14:45,126 --> 00:14:47,552
Huh? Just be a--
be a husband to your wife!
342
00:14:47,779 --> 00:14:49,779
Be a father to your children!
343
00:14:49,797 --> 00:14:51,205
You're right, Lois.
344
00:14:51,299 --> 00:14:53,040
No matter how hard I try,
345
00:14:53,134 --> 00:14:54,875
I'll never find a decade
as good as the '80s,
346
00:14:54,969 --> 00:14:56,318
like you just said just now.
347
00:14:56,346 --> 00:14:58,137
No, again,
that's not at all what I...
348
00:14:58,231 --> 00:15:00,231
I need to be alone.
349
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,141
If anyone calls,
I'll be in the '70s
350
00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:04,961
doing the might-as-well-be-legal
cocaine.
351
00:15:05,980 --> 00:15:09,157
ANNOUNCER:
Cocaine: the winner
of the war on drugs.
352
00:15:13,138 --> 00:15:15,062
Thank you for taking care of me,
Doug.
353
00:15:15,156 --> 00:15:17,807
Look, Stewie,
I want to apologize.
354
00:15:17,900 --> 00:15:19,308
You do? For what?
355
00:15:19,402 --> 00:15:22,236
For always showing you up
and just being a jerk.
356
00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:25,481
I think I'm just intimidated
by your brilliance.
357
00:15:25,500 --> 00:15:28,092
Plus, it's so great
you've only got nine hairs.
358
00:15:28,319 --> 00:15:29,669
It probably takes you
three seconds
359
00:15:29,821 --> 00:15:30,762
to get ready in the morning.
360
00:15:30,913 --> 00:15:32,655
Me, I've got this whole
head of hair.
361
00:15:32,674 --> 00:15:35,082
That's not quite as nice
as you meant for it to sound,
362
00:15:35,101 --> 00:15:37,435
but since we're confessing
our insecurities...
363
00:15:37,586 --> 00:15:40,754
I'm not exactly the, um,
I don't know,
364
00:15:40,848 --> 00:15:43,182
"slick cucumber"
everyone thinks I am.
365
00:15:43,334 --> 00:15:45,259
-"Slick cucumber"?
-I mean, sure,
366
00:15:45,278 --> 00:15:47,520
maybe on the outside,
but I can only wish I had
367
00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:51,765
-that slick cucumber
deep inside--
-I'm getting lost, here, Stewie.
368
00:15:51,859 --> 00:15:53,176
Like,
sometimes I mention having
369
00:15:53,269 --> 00:15:55,178
a supermodel girlfriend
in Norway.
370
00:15:55,271 --> 00:15:57,604
Well I--
I'm gonna be honest, um,
371
00:15:57,699 --> 00:15:59,273
she's not a supermodel.
372
00:15:59,367 --> 00:16:01,275
She's basically mid-level,
at best.
373
00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:03,869
Like, she's kind of a pocket
client at some agencies,
374
00:16:03,964 --> 00:16:05,705
but it's so political
over there in Sweden.
375
00:16:05,799 --> 00:16:07,690
Thought you said Norway.
376
00:16:07,709 --> 00:16:09,783
Meanwhile, you're this cool kid
on the block.
377
00:16:09,877 --> 00:16:11,711
You're all confident.
You can snap.
378
00:16:11,805 --> 00:16:13,196
You mean this?
379
00:16:13,289 --> 00:16:15,548
Yeah, that's like
bloody witchcraft to me.
380
00:16:15,700 --> 00:16:17,383
Anyway, deep down, I...
381
00:16:17,535 --> 00:16:19,719
I-I've always wanted
your approval.
382
00:16:19,871 --> 00:16:22,129
But now, tonight,
383
00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:25,374
you've given me something
much more valuable:
384
00:16:25,393 --> 00:16:26,693
your friendship.
385
00:16:27,803 --> 00:16:30,379
-Here. You can have it.
-What?
386
00:16:30,398 --> 00:16:32,048
I don't need the Frisbee
anymore.
387
00:16:32,066 --> 00:16:34,325
Take it, friend.
388
00:16:35,887 --> 00:16:37,996
♪
389
00:16:44,729 --> 00:16:47,321
I won, everyone! I won!
390
00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:49,899
Other kids, Stewie lost,
391
00:16:49,917 --> 00:16:52,068
and he deserves our ridicule!
392
00:16:52,161 --> 00:16:53,344
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait!
393
00:16:53,571 --> 00:16:55,662
DOUG:
And there was a weird
cucumber thing!
394
00:16:55,757 --> 00:16:57,073
That son of a bitch.
395
00:16:57,166 --> 00:17:00,643
Come back here!
(grunting)
396
00:17:03,598 --> 00:17:06,082
Oh, you can do it,
Stewie, for sure.
397
00:17:06,175 --> 00:17:10,102
Free your foot, and together
we will bump wieners.
398
00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:13,013
But it's stuck, Norwegian
Mid-Level Model Girlfriend.
399
00:17:13,033 --> 00:17:16,259
Oh, just untie your shoe,
is how.
400
00:17:16,352 --> 00:17:17,702
Oh! Duh!
401
00:17:19,430 --> 00:17:21,855
Stewie,
when will you free me
402
00:17:21,875 --> 00:17:23,766
from this thought bubble hell?
403
00:17:23,785 --> 00:17:24,950
Not for a while.
404
00:17:25,103 --> 00:17:27,336
I may need you
if I run for office.
405
00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:31,632
(thunder rumbling)
406
00:17:32,868 --> 00:17:35,035
-Stewie!
-You were manipulating me.
407
00:17:35,129 --> 00:17:37,296
You were only being nice
to get the Frisbee!
408
00:17:37,448 --> 00:17:41,708
Sorry, Stewie, but all's fair
in love and jungle gyms.
409
00:17:41,728 --> 00:17:43,394
(grunting)
410
00:17:45,790 --> 00:17:47,690
(thunder rumbling)
411
00:17:51,296 --> 00:17:52,528
Ha!
412
00:17:53,798 --> 00:17:55,722
-Wh-Wh-Whoa! (screams)
-Doug!
413
00:17:55,742 --> 00:17:58,117
(screaming)
414
00:18:00,321 --> 00:18:02,154
Please hang on, Stewie!
415
00:18:02,248 --> 00:18:03,730
I've got this, my friend.
416
00:18:03,825 --> 00:18:07,251
This is when that slick cucumber
deep inside of me comes out.
417
00:18:07,478 --> 00:18:10,571
-Oh... okay.
-(phone ringing)
418
00:18:10,665 --> 00:18:13,649
You're gonna hate me,
but I really need to take this.
419
00:18:13,742 --> 00:18:14,333
Don't you dare!
420
00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:15,760
But it might be Bruce Lee
421
00:18:15,911 --> 00:18:18,504
finally calling to admit
that I'm the best at kung fu!
422
00:18:18,656 --> 00:18:21,132
-(line ringing)
-This is your one chance,
Stewie.
423
00:18:21,359 --> 00:18:23,843
I will not call you
a second time.
424
00:18:23,937 --> 00:18:26,145
♪
425
00:18:30,426 --> 00:18:33,169
Who am I if I can't
reference the '80s?
426
00:18:33,187 --> 00:18:36,447
If I can't live in the past,
there's no future for me.
427
00:18:36,599 --> 00:18:39,784
Boy, who knew
when you stop doing cocaine,
428
00:18:39,935 --> 00:18:42,161
-you get depressed?
-MAN: Peter.
429
00:18:44,682 --> 00:18:48,459
(gasps) The ghost of '80s
film director John Hughes?
430
00:18:48,611 --> 00:18:52,296
Yes, Peter. I've come
to tell you that Lois is right.
431
00:18:52,448 --> 00:18:54,874
You need to let the '80s go.
432
00:18:55,026 --> 00:18:56,542
But... I don't understand.
433
00:18:56,694 --> 00:18:59,362
Listen, when we were making art
in the 1980s,
434
00:18:59,455 --> 00:19:02,140
we were just having fun
and trying new things.
435
00:19:02,367 --> 00:19:04,642
Stop recreating the '80s, Peter.
436
00:19:04,793 --> 00:19:05,792
They're gone.
437
00:19:05,887 --> 00:19:08,462
Get out there and make
your own '80s.
438
00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:09,814
Today.
439
00:19:10,041 --> 00:19:12,441
♪
440
00:19:15,304 --> 00:19:18,138
After all,
life moves pretty fast.
441
00:19:18,232 --> 00:19:20,491
If you don't stop
and look around once in a while,
442
00:19:20,718 --> 00:19:23,219
-you could miss it.
-Ah! Like the movie!
443
00:19:23,312 --> 00:19:24,978
I have to go, Peter.
444
00:19:24,998 --> 00:19:27,223
-Goodbye.
-Wait! Wait!
445
00:19:27,241 --> 00:19:28,240
You want to know
my favorite thing
446
00:19:28,334 --> 00:19:30,059
from any of your movies ever?
447
00:19:30,152 --> 00:19:32,336
-Was it the giant pancake?
-Yes, the giant pancake!
448
00:19:32,563 --> 00:19:34,730
In heaven,
are the pancakes big
449
00:19:34,749 --> 00:19:35,989
like they are
in Uncle Buck ?
450
00:19:36,009 --> 00:19:37,175
I wouldn't know, Peter.
451
00:19:37,326 --> 00:19:39,568
I'm currently frying in hell.
452
00:19:39,587 --> 00:19:42,738
What?!
But-but you were pretty good.
453
00:19:42,757 --> 00:19:47,226
You have to be very good!
454
00:19:50,264 --> 00:19:52,982
Doug, I can't hold on
much longer.
455
00:19:53,842 --> 00:19:55,008
(grunting)
456
00:19:55,028 --> 00:19:57,010
It's been an honor, friend.
457
00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:58,070
(both cry out)
458
00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:02,091
Oh. W-We weren't...
we weren't very high up there.
459
00:20:02,184 --> 00:20:04,593
No, I guess it just seemed
higher to us,
460
00:20:04,612 --> 00:20:06,871
because of perspective
and what-have-you.
461
00:20:07,098 --> 00:20:09,540
At any rate...
Hey, gang? Gang!
462
00:20:09,767 --> 00:20:10,766
Here's your Frisbee.
463
00:20:10,785 --> 00:20:13,436
Stewie and I got it...
464
00:20:13,454 --> 00:20:16,214
-together.
-Yes. Together.
465
00:20:16,441 --> 00:20:18,049
We're different kids
from before,
466
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:20,426
so that means nothing to us.
467
00:20:26,634 --> 00:20:29,452
-We had quite the adventure.
-Yes, we did.
468
00:20:29,545 --> 00:20:31,395
And at the end of it all,
I, uh...
469
00:20:31,547 --> 00:20:32,879
I hope we've come
to see each other
470
00:20:32,974 --> 00:20:34,881
through slightly different eyes.
471
00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:36,400
We certainly have.
472
00:20:36,552 --> 00:20:37,643
Hey, who knows?
473
00:20:37,795 --> 00:20:39,987
Maybe someday they'll make
a movie about us.
474
00:20:41,632 --> 00:20:44,467
ANNOUNCER:
This summer, don't miss
Jungle Gym Mountain,
475
00:20:44,485 --> 00:20:46,652
starring Chris Pine as Doug...
476
00:20:46,804 --> 00:20:47,728
What?
477
00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:50,581
...and Paul Giamatti as Stewie.
478
00:20:50,733 --> 00:20:51,807
Come on!
479
00:20:51,826 --> 00:20:53,993
Help.
I crapped my pants,
480
00:20:54,145 --> 00:20:56,903
-and I'm afraid of heights.
-I'm out of here.
481
00:20:56,923 --> 00:21:00,499
And Chris Hemsworth
as Thought Bubble Girlfriend.
482
00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:02,426
I'll give it a shot.
483
00:21:02,653 --> 00:21:04,553
♪