1
00:00:05,335 --> 00:00:07,002
Peter, come on, it's
time to wake up.
2
00:00:07,020 --> 00:00:08,604
You got to get to work.
3
00:00:08,638 --> 00:00:10,489
Uh, Lois, I ain't feeling good.
4
00:00:10,523 --> 00:00:12,257
Peter, what happened
to your voice?
5
00:00:12,292 --> 00:00:14,192
It-It's so deep.
6
00:00:14,227 --> 00:00:15,661
I think I'm sick.
7
00:00:15,695 --> 00:00:17,529
Well, you don't
sound like yourself.
8
00:00:17,563 --> 00:00:20,732
In fact, you sound
kind of hot.
9
00:00:20,767 --> 00:00:23,335
I just threw up
two chicken gyros out my nose.
10
00:00:23,369 --> 00:00:24,803
They're on your side of the bed.
11
00:00:24,837 --> 00:00:26,872
Oh, say that again.
12
00:00:28,224 --> 00:00:30,559
But I want you to
keep talking to me
13
00:00:30,593 --> 00:00:32,302
in that sexy voice
while we do it.
14
00:00:32,455 --> 00:00:35,443
Okay great. Let's pretend
you're a tollbooth worker
15
00:00:35,468 --> 00:00:36,857
and I'm molesting you.
16
00:00:36,858 --> 00:00:38,059
Okay.
17
00:00:38,093 --> 00:00:39,627
I don't have any change.
18
00:00:39,661 --> 00:00:40,928
Now take off that parka.
19
00:00:40,962 --> 00:00:42,096
Uh-uh-uh.
20
00:00:42,130 --> 00:00:43,764
You're gonna have
to pay a high to
21
00:00:43,799 --> 00:00:45,700
if you want to get
into this tunnel.
22
00:00:45,734 --> 00:00:47,568
Come on,
don't say stuff like that.
23
00:00:47,602 --> 00:00:50,071
I want you to be scared,
not make puns.
24
00:00:50,105 --> 00:00:52,473
♪ Hey, hey
25
00:00:52,507 --> 00:00:54,759
♪ Hey, hey
26
00:00:54,793 --> 00:00:56,694
♪ Hey, hey
27
00:00:56,728 --> 00:00:57,699
♪ Hey, hey, hey.
28
00:00:57,700 --> 00:01:01,700
♪ Family Guy 11x18 ♪
Total Recall
Original Air Date on April 28, 2013
29
00:01:01,701 --> 00:01:05,801
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
30
00:01:05,887 --> 00:01:07,204
Good afternoon, I'm Tom Tucker.
31
00:01:07,239 --> 00:01:08,672
For those of you who turned out
32
00:01:08,707 --> 00:01:11,375
to see my stand-up comedy debut
at Zany's last night,
33
00:01:11,410 --> 00:01:14,245
I again apologize
for what I said about Moroccans.
34
00:01:14,279 --> 00:01:15,646
But today's breaking news
35
00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:17,548
is that the New England Toy
and Game Company
36
00:01:17,582 --> 00:01:20,217
has issued an immediate recall
of all of its stuffed bears,
37
00:01:20,252 --> 00:01:21,752
like the one shown here.
38
00:01:21,787 --> 00:01:23,854
The bear's eyes
can become easily detached
39
00:01:23,889 --> 00:01:26,323
and pose a potential
choking hazard.
40
00:01:26,358 --> 00:01:29,160
Oh, my God, that's the same
teddy bear Stewie has.
41
00:01:29,194 --> 00:01:31,145
We got to send that thing
back right away.
42
00:01:31,179 --> 00:01:32,613
Boy, I wonder
if there's anything more
43
00:01:32,647 --> 00:01:34,165
on Channel Two about this.
44
00:01:34,199 --> 00:01:36,967
Our top story, Channel Five
News anchor, Tom Tucker,
45
00:01:37,002 --> 00:01:40,004
has a meltdown
at a local comedy club.
46
00:01:40,038 --> 00:01:41,922
Look at you, you fat,
gross Moroccans
47
00:01:41,957 --> 00:01:44,175
with your ooga-booga food.
48
00:01:48,997 --> 00:01:51,665
Oh, my God, that
was amazing.
49
00:01:51,683 --> 00:01:53,634
I'm gonna have to
crawl to the bathroom.
50
00:01:53,668 --> 00:01:55,352
Yeah, that was incredible.
51
00:01:55,387 --> 00:01:57,254
It was the first time
I had an orgasm
52
00:01:57,289 --> 00:01:58,856
out the front and back.
53
00:01:58,890 --> 00:02:01,992
God, Peter, this voice of
yours is really something.
54
00:02:02,027 --> 00:02:03,811
Oh, I can't get
enough of it.
55
00:02:03,845 --> 00:02:05,346
Yeah, it's been pretty great.
56
00:02:05,380 --> 00:02:07,214
You know,
I even won a deep voice contest
57
00:02:07,249 --> 00:02:09,133
with Joe yesterday.
58
00:02:11,987 --> 00:02:13,020
I heard you coming.
59
00:02:13,054 --> 00:02:14,221
I made myself heard.
60
00:02:14,256 --> 00:02:15,322
Where have you come from?
61
00:02:15,357 --> 00:02:16,590
I've come from
where I've been.
62
00:02:16,625 --> 00:02:18,359
You still riding with that
mangy polecat Fletcher?
63
00:02:18,393 --> 00:02:19,994
Fletcher met the
long arm of the law
64
00:02:20,028 --> 00:02:22,897
at the wrong end of a shotgun
and the deep end of a grave
65
00:02:22,931 --> 00:02:24,582
at the far end of
a dead-end road.
66
00:02:24,616 --> 00:02:26,617
Winner!
67
00:02:28,220 --> 00:02:29,837
Well, I should
probably get going.
68
00:02:29,871 --> 00:02:31,972
Me, Joe and Quagmire
are going bowling again.
69
00:02:32,007 --> 00:02:33,941
We got a big tournament
coming up next week.
70
00:02:33,975 --> 00:02:35,543
Well, hurry
back, handsome.
71
00:02:35,577 --> 00:02:37,595
Oh, Peter, this
is so much fun.
72
00:02:37,629 --> 00:02:39,447
I feel like I have
a secret lover
73
00:02:39,481 --> 00:02:40,865
nobody else knows about.
74
00:02:40,899 --> 00:02:42,600
Just like Carly Simon.
75
00:02:42,634 --> 00:02:44,502
Ms. Simon, enough
years have gone by
76
00:02:44,536 --> 00:02:46,837
since you wrote your classic
hit, "You're So Vain."
77
00:02:46,872 --> 00:02:48,739
Don't you think it's
time to tell the world
78
00:02:48,773 --> 00:02:50,608
who that song was
written about?
79
00:02:50,642 --> 00:02:54,328
No. That will always be a secret
between me and him.
80
00:02:54,362 --> 00:02:58,532
♪ You're so vain
81
00:02:58,567 --> 00:03:01,719
♪ You probably think this song
is about you ♪
82
00:03:01,753 --> 00:03:05,489
♪ You're so vain
♪ You're so vain. ♪
83
00:03:08,527 --> 00:03:09,910
Come on, Rupert, let's go.
84
00:03:09,928 --> 00:03:11,378
This is the first day
we're allowed
85
00:03:11,412 --> 00:03:12,596
to the end of the driveway,
86
00:03:12,631 --> 00:03:14,532
and I intend
to take full advantage.
87
00:03:14,566 --> 00:03:16,484
Rupert?
88
00:03:18,253 --> 00:03:20,054
Rupert?
89
00:03:21,256 --> 00:03:22,506
Hey, what's going on?
90
00:03:22,541 --> 00:03:24,058
Brian, I can't find
Rupert anywhere.
91
00:03:24,092 --> 00:03:25,176
Have you seen him?
92
00:03:25,210 --> 00:03:26,577
Oh, I thought Lois
would've told you.
93
00:03:26,611 --> 00:03:28,112
She sent him back
to the factory.
94
00:03:28,146 --> 00:03:29,313
What? Why?!
95
00:03:29,364 --> 00:03:30,844
She was afraid he
was gonna choke you.
96
00:03:30,866 --> 00:03:32,049
Oh, that was
a game we played.
97
00:03:32,083 --> 00:03:33,803
Believe me,
I was in control the whole time.
98
00:03:33,835 --> 00:03:35,236
No, the company
issued a recall.
99
00:03:35,270 --> 00:03:36,620
But don't worry, they
sent a replacement.
100
00:03:36,655 --> 00:03:37,805
Here, the guy just
delivered it.
101
00:03:37,839 --> 00:03:38,939
Replacement?
102
00:03:40,942 --> 00:03:42,610
What the hell is this?
103
00:03:42,644 --> 00:03:45,045
What? Come on,
he's a cute little giraffe.
104
00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:47,131
Maybe you could call him,
like, Gizmo or something.
105
00:03:47,165 --> 00:03:48,849
Oh, look, he can fly.
106
00:03:48,884 --> 00:03:50,684
Whoosh.
107
00:03:50,719 --> 00:03:51,952
I hate him.
108
00:03:51,987 --> 00:03:53,938
His mouth is always open
like P. Diddy.
109
00:03:53,972 --> 00:03:55,139
Well, what do you mean?
110
00:03:55,173 --> 00:03:57,208
You ever notice how
in every photo of P. Diddy,
111
00:03:57,242 --> 00:03:58,726
his mouth is hanging open?
112
00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:01,345
Well, actually, Diddy hired a
guy to close his mouth for him.
113
00:04:01,379 --> 00:04:03,964
I'm telling you, this kid
is the next Justin Bieber.
114
00:04:03,999 --> 00:04:06,200
Young girls love him, but
he makes real music that...
115
00:04:06,234 --> 00:04:07,384
Sorry I'm late.
116
00:04:07,419 --> 00:04:08,686
Traffic.
117
00:04:11,890 --> 00:04:13,557
Good morning, Lois!
118
00:04:13,592 --> 00:04:15,025
How's it going, Brian?
119
00:04:15,060 --> 00:04:17,278
Peter, what happened
to your voice?
120
00:04:17,312 --> 00:04:18,846
Oh, ho, ho.
121
00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:21,115
You know what happened,
you sexy minx.
122
00:04:21,149 --> 00:04:23,551
My white blood cells
attacked the pathogens
123
00:04:23,585 --> 00:04:25,753
and created antibodies,
and then the pathogens
124
00:04:25,787 --> 00:04:28,055
were filtered out
by my kidneys into my urine
125
00:04:28,089 --> 00:04:30,874
and then expelled from my body,
you slut.
126
00:04:30,926 --> 00:04:32,359
Peter, not now.
127
00:04:32,394 --> 00:04:33,460
What the hell, Lois?
128
00:04:33,495 --> 00:04:34,762
Yesterday you were
all over me.
129
00:04:34,796 --> 00:04:37,131
And then, for a confusing
period, inside of me.
130
00:04:37,165 --> 00:04:40,000
I had no control over what
I did yesterday, Peter.
131
00:04:40,035 --> 00:04:41,769
I mean, I'm glad
you're feeling better,
132
00:04:41,803 --> 00:04:44,705
but, boy, that sick
voice of yours was hot.
133
00:04:46,074 --> 00:04:47,374
Damn it,
this sucks, Brian.
134
00:04:47,409 --> 00:04:48,909
I was getting laid
left and right.
135
00:04:48,944 --> 00:04:51,161
Yeah, sounds like being sick
was really working for you.
136
00:04:51,196 --> 00:04:52,947
Well, you know
what I got to do?
137
00:04:52,981 --> 00:04:55,716
I got to make myself sick again
and get that voice back.
138
00:04:55,750 --> 00:04:57,484
Peter, that might
be the worst idea
139
00:04:57,519 --> 00:04:59,003
anyone has ever had.
140
00:04:59,037 --> 00:05:00,271
Well, you're wrong there.
141
00:05:00,305 --> 00:05:02,906
The worst idea anyone ever had
was silver bullets.
142
00:05:02,941 --> 00:05:06,143
Barbara Liebowitz's husband just
bought her a diamond brooch.
143
00:05:06,177 --> 00:05:08,095
You know how he
afforded that?
144
00:05:08,129 --> 00:05:09,430
He uses regular bullets.
145
00:05:09,464 --> 00:05:11,599
He uses regular bullets.
146
00:05:15,070 --> 00:05:16,971
Meg, have you seen Dad?
147
00:05:17,005 --> 00:05:18,405
Yeah, he's at the dentist.
148
00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:19,873
He's trying to get sick.
149
00:05:22,110 --> 00:05:24,595
Okay, go ahead
and spit.
150
00:05:24,629 --> 00:05:26,747
It's okay, go ahead.
151
00:05:28,617 --> 00:05:29,883
All right, Chris,
152
00:05:29,901 --> 00:05:31,685
I figured out a great
way to get sick.
153
00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:35,139
I'm gonna be a woman at work
who cannot get sick right now.
154
00:05:36,508 --> 00:05:38,158
Sweetie, maybe you
need to go home.
155
00:05:38,193 --> 00:05:39,276
I'm not going home.
156
00:05:39,327 --> 00:05:40,727
I cannot get sick right now.
157
00:05:40,745 --> 00:05:42,196
I have way too much to do.
158
00:05:42,230 --> 00:05:44,031
It's okay, everyone
will understand.
159
00:05:44,065 --> 00:05:46,216
No. I cannot get sick
right now.
160
00:05:46,251 --> 00:05:48,118
There's Kendra's birthday
and the baby shower,
161
00:05:48,153 --> 00:05:50,487
and with this move, I-I just
cannot get sick right now.
162
00:05:50,522 --> 00:05:51,905
I have to finish typing this...
163
00:05:51,923 --> 00:05:53,240
typing this...
164
00:05:54,526 --> 00:05:56,927
That's it; I'm
taking you home.
165
00:05:58,129 --> 00:05:59,713
You did this to me!
166
00:06:01,516 --> 00:06:02,716
Miss Lohan!
Lindsay!
167
00:06:02,750 --> 00:06:04,968
Over here, Lindsay!
168
00:06:05,020 --> 00:06:07,588
Excuse me, which one was
Lindsay Lohan's dessert fork?
169
00:06:07,622 --> 00:06:09,623
I think it
was that one.
170
00:06:11,726 --> 00:06:14,328
Give me cocaine!
171
00:06:17,766 --> 00:06:19,500
The History Channel presents
172
00:06:19,534 --> 00:06:22,036
Where in World War Two
is Waldo?
173
00:06:26,474 --> 00:06:28,542
Do I sound sexy?
174
00:06:28,576 --> 00:06:30,644
Tell me I sound sexy.
175
00:06:30,679 --> 00:06:32,246
Peter, what the hell?
You look terrible.
176
00:06:32,280 --> 00:06:33,697
Clear off the couch, kids.
177
00:06:33,732 --> 00:06:35,766
I'm gonna do your mother
right here.
178
00:06:37,469 --> 00:06:38,936
Oh, my God, Peter!
179
00:06:38,970 --> 00:06:40,537
Oh, I'm leaving.
180
00:06:40,572 --> 00:06:42,389
I cannot get
sick right now.
181
00:06:48,613 --> 00:06:51,382
Dr. Hartman,
is Peter gonna be okay?
182
00:06:51,383 --> 00:06:53,884
If one more person
asks me about a patient today,
183
00:06:53,919 --> 00:06:55,920
I'm gonna scream.
184
00:06:57,439 --> 00:06:58,656
What time is it?
185
00:06:58,690 --> 00:07:00,007
Peter, what are you doing?
186
00:07:00,041 --> 00:07:01,308
Get back in bed.
187
00:07:01,343 --> 00:07:02,510
I can't, Lois.
188
00:07:02,544 --> 00:07:04,211
I got the bowling
tournament this afternoon.
189
00:07:04,246 --> 00:07:06,046
Quagmire and Joe
are counting on me.
190
00:07:06,081 --> 00:07:07,615
Forget about bowling, Peter.
191
00:07:07,649 --> 00:07:09,049
You're very sick.
192
00:07:09,084 --> 00:07:10,451
You're not going anywhere.
193
00:07:10,485 --> 00:07:12,553
But if I don't go,
we'll have to forfeit.
194
00:07:12,587 --> 00:07:15,489
I'm sorry, but you need
to stay here and get better.
195
00:07:15,524 --> 00:07:17,892
Well, then, you're gonna
have to bowl for me.
196
00:07:17,926 --> 00:07:19,343
What?
197
00:07:19,377 --> 00:07:21,145
Peter, I haven't bowled
since college.
198
00:07:21,179 --> 00:07:22,997
Please, you got to do
me this favor, Lois.
199
00:07:23,031 --> 00:07:25,900
You owe me from when I took you
to see Shakespeare in the Park,
200
00:07:25,934 --> 00:07:27,701
even though it was
the part of the park
201
00:07:27,736 --> 00:07:29,236
where the gay guys
go to have sex.
202
00:07:29,271 --> 00:07:31,405
To be, or not to be...
203
00:07:31,439 --> 00:07:32,873
Aah!
204
00:07:32,908 --> 00:07:34,241
Aah! Right there!
205
00:07:34,276 --> 00:07:36,243
Ignore that;
that's not part of the play.
206
00:07:36,278 --> 00:07:38,145
That is the question.
207
00:07:38,180 --> 00:07:39,513
Whether 'tis nobler...
208
00:07:39,548 --> 00:07:41,215
This isn't
love, by the way.
209
00:07:44,920 --> 00:07:46,821
Brian, get your keys.
210
00:07:46,872 --> 00:07:48,589
I need you to drive me
to that toy factory
211
00:07:48,623 --> 00:07:49,890
so I can get Rupert back.
212
00:07:49,925 --> 00:07:52,026
Stewie, Lois sent him back
'cause he's not safe.
213
00:07:52,060 --> 00:07:53,594
But, Brian, I miss him!
214
00:07:53,628 --> 00:07:55,296
Without Rupert, I...
215
00:07:55,330 --> 00:07:57,598
Are you watching
porn in the kitchen?
216
00:07:57,632 --> 00:07:59,383
Come on, man,
we eat in here.
217
00:07:59,417 --> 00:08:01,535
Anyway, I need you to
drive me to Middleborough.
218
00:08:01,570 --> 00:08:03,337
Middleborough? That's, like,
two hours from here.
219
00:08:03,371 --> 00:08:05,105
I'm not doing that.
Come on, Brian.
220
00:08:05,140 --> 00:08:06,790
Tell you what, you drive
me to Middleborough,
221
00:08:06,825 --> 00:08:09,460
and I'll teach you my secret
to picking up chicks.
222
00:08:09,494 --> 00:08:11,128
Hey.
223
00:08:11,163 --> 00:08:12,997
You-me, ba-boom, huh?
224
00:08:16,968 --> 00:08:18,769
Thanks for filling
in for Peter, Lois.
225
00:08:18,803 --> 00:08:20,654
Yeah, okay, but I hope
you brought it today,
226
00:08:20,689 --> 00:08:22,050
'cause this ain't
no ladies' lunch.
227
00:08:22,057 --> 00:08:23,791
Well, I'll certainly do
the best I can.
228
00:08:23,825 --> 00:08:25,125
But don't worry, Glenn,
229
00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:27,561
I'm one woman who knows
a thing or two about sports.
230
00:08:27,596 --> 00:08:28,996
Yeah, I know you think you are.
231
00:08:29,030 --> 00:08:31,498
Your softball chatter
made that quite clear.
232
00:08:31,533 --> 00:08:33,834
Okay, that's two down, guys,
two outs.
233
00:08:33,869 --> 00:08:35,419
Two out of the three outs
required.
234
00:08:35,453 --> 00:08:36,787
Okay, guys, let's go.
235
00:08:36,821 --> 00:08:38,272
Tom Brady is a quarterback.
236
00:08:38,306 --> 00:08:39,890
Okay, heads up, two down.
237
00:08:39,925 --> 00:08:41,625
College football is on Saturday.
238
00:08:41,659 --> 00:08:43,110
Okay, come on, look alive.
239
00:08:43,144 --> 00:08:45,796
NBA players
are predominantly black.
240
00:08:45,830 --> 00:08:47,548
Oh, hi, Lois.
241
00:08:47,582 --> 00:08:48,816
What are you doing here?
242
00:08:48,850 --> 00:08:50,017
I'm filling in
for Peter.
243
00:08:50,051 --> 00:08:51,118
He's sick.
244
00:08:51,152 --> 00:08:53,153
All right,
finally a little harpoon
245
00:08:53,188 --> 00:08:55,022
in the bowling alley.
246
00:08:55,056 --> 00:08:58,242
All right, what do you say
we get this thing started, huh?
247
00:09:02,197 --> 00:09:03,898
Nice roll, Lois!
248
00:09:03,932 --> 00:09:05,566
My God.
249
00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:08,168
If she chews gum,
she's got the whole package.
250
00:09:08,203 --> 00:09:09,753
Yes!
That's what I'm talking about!
251
00:09:09,788 --> 00:09:11,155
Take that, you jagoffs!
252
00:09:11,189 --> 00:09:12,389
I hope you die!
253
00:09:12,423 --> 00:09:14,758
God, Quagmire gets so
competitive with sports.
254
00:09:14,793 --> 00:09:16,427
Hey, Quagmire,
it's just a game.
255
00:09:16,461 --> 00:09:17,561
Ta it kesy.
256
00:09:17,596 --> 00:09:18,629
I'm not gonna take it easy!
257
00:09:18,663 --> 00:09:19,830
These guys are going down!
258
00:09:19,864 --> 00:09:22,216
You're going down
in front of all these people!
259
00:09:30,575 --> 00:09:32,776
All right, Lois,
it's all up to you.
260
00:09:32,811 --> 00:09:35,279
We only need six to
beat the Pinheads.
261
00:09:35,313 --> 00:09:36,647
And it would be four
262
00:09:36,681 --> 00:09:39,183
if someone could've hit
that seven-ten split, right?
263
00:09:39,217 --> 00:09:40,200
Joe!
264
00:09:40,235 --> 00:09:42,052
Joe, Joey, Joey,
Joey, Joe, Joey, Joe!
265
00:09:58,853 --> 00:10:00,154
Yes!
Yeah!
266
00:10:00,188 --> 00:10:01,922
Yeah! We did it!
267
00:10:03,091 --> 00:10:04,758
Oh, what's this?
What's this?
268
00:10:04,793 --> 00:10:06,110
It says right here we won!
269
00:10:06,144 --> 00:10:08,012
We won, you dicks!
You suck!
270
00:10:08,046 --> 00:10:10,347
Um, excuse me,
would you mind keeping it down?
271
00:10:10,382 --> 00:10:12,583
We're having my son's
birthday party over here.
272
00:10:12,617 --> 00:10:13,777
Yeah, sure, sure,
sure, honey.
273
00:10:13,785 --> 00:10:15,619
What's his name?
Mikey.
274
00:10:15,654 --> 00:10:18,038
Happy birthday, Mikey!
275
00:10:18,089 --> 00:10:19,290
Yeah!
276
00:10:23,028 --> 00:10:24,528
Well, this is great.
277
00:10:24,562 --> 00:10:25,923
So when you guys
aren't celebrating
278
00:10:25,930 --> 00:10:28,198
a big bowling victory,
what do you normally do here?
279
00:10:28,233 --> 00:10:30,634
Uh, well,
sometimes we compare women.
280
00:10:30,669 --> 00:10:32,619
Talk about who we'd rather
have sex with.
281
00:10:32,654 --> 00:10:33,854
Oh, that sounds fun.
282
00:10:33,888 --> 00:10:35,189
How do you play?
283
00:10:35,223 --> 00:10:36,323
Well, it's like, um--
284
00:10:36,358 --> 00:10:37,725
Okay, who would you rather do,
285
00:10:37,759 --> 00:10:39,560
Kristen Stewart
or Scarlett Johansson?
286
00:10:39,594 --> 00:10:41,695
Oh, definitely
Scarlett Johansson.
287
00:10:41,730 --> 00:10:43,163
For one thing,
there's the boobs,
288
00:10:43,198 --> 00:10:45,399
which Kristen Stewart
does not have.
289
00:10:45,433 --> 00:10:47,368
Also, I get the sense
that Kristen Stewart
290
00:10:47,402 --> 00:10:50,037
is more of a bath person
when she really needs a shower.
291
00:10:50,071 --> 00:10:51,638
She does seem
kind of dirty.
292
00:10:51,673 --> 00:10:53,841
Yeah, someone should write
"wash me"
293
00:10:53,875 --> 00:10:55,509
in the dust
on that flat ass.
294
00:10:55,543 --> 00:10:56,844
Ha!
Ho-ho!
295
00:10:56,878 --> 00:10:58,512
Move over funnyman
Richard Lewis.
296
00:10:58,546 --> 00:11:00,581
We got Richard Lois!
297
00:11:05,570 --> 00:11:06,603
Well, here we are.
298
00:11:06,638 --> 00:11:09,173
great.
Hey, may on the ride home,
299
00:11:09,207 --> 00:11:10,774
someone else can tell
a story.
300
00:11:12,977 --> 00:11:14,845
So what exactly is
your plan here?
301
00:11:14,879 --> 00:11:16,347
I've got it all
figured out, Brian.
302
00:11:16,381 --> 00:11:18,849
This tour will take us
deep into the factory,
303
00:11:18,883 --> 00:11:21,635
and when the time is right,
we'll slip away and find Rupert.
304
00:11:21,669 --> 00:11:24,138
Does anyone have
any questions so far?
305
00:11:24,172 --> 00:11:25,522
Who's that up there?
306
00:11:25,556 --> 00:11:26,857
Oh, that's our gunman.
307
00:11:26,891 --> 00:11:29,393
Every once in a while,
one of our toys becomes real,
308
00:11:29,427 --> 00:11:31,595
and we have to make sure
it doesn't get out.
309
00:11:39,721 --> 00:11:43,040
Brian, look!
That must be where Rupert is!
310
00:11:45,727 --> 00:11:48,028
Rupert!
My God, you're all right!
311
00:11:48,063 --> 00:11:49,530
Oh, you missed so much!
312
00:11:49,564 --> 00:11:51,899
I had to deliver a speech
to Britain,
313
00:11:51,933 --> 00:11:54,518
and I overcame my stutter
through some pretty kooky means.
314
00:11:54,552 --> 00:11:55,953
Brian, don't say
anything.
315
00:11:55,987 --> 00:11:57,521
Uh, Stewie?
316
00:11:59,140 --> 00:12:00,741
Oh, crap.
317
00:12:00,775 --> 00:12:04,461
This is not the way out!
This is not the way out!
318
00:12:07,832 --> 00:12:10,200
Hey, Horace, get that
wiener out of your hand
319
00:12:10,235 --> 00:12:12,236
and give us three more beers
over here!
320
00:12:12,270 --> 00:12:14,938
Lois, you're always
giving me the business.
321
00:12:16,825 --> 00:12:19,009
Hey, I meant
to tell you guys.
322
00:12:19,043 --> 00:12:20,844
We shot some drug dealer
this morning,
323
00:12:20,879 --> 00:12:23,414
and he had three Red Sox
tickets in his pocket.
324
00:12:23,448 --> 00:12:24,415
That's awesome!
325
00:12:24,449 --> 00:12:26,350
Oh, this'll be so fun!
326
00:12:26,384 --> 00:12:28,068
You know, if we leave
right now,
327
00:12:28,103 --> 00:12:30,654
we can probably still get there
before the first pitch.
328
00:12:30,688 --> 00:12:31,789
Hey, you guys.
329
00:12:31,823 --> 00:12:33,557
Oh, hey, Peter.
How's it going?
330
00:12:33,591 --> 00:12:35,726
Peter, it's so good
to see you up and around!
331
00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:37,394
Yeah, how ya feeling?
332
00:12:37,429 --> 00:12:38,612
I'm feeling shipshape.
333
00:12:38,646 --> 00:12:40,547
If the ship is
the S.S. Minnow!
334
00:12:40,582 --> 00:12:42,316
Doctor said I'd be
making bland jokes
335
00:12:42,350 --> 00:12:44,685
for about a week,
then I'd be good as new.
336
00:12:44,719 --> 00:12:45,886
Ah, that's good to hear.
337
00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:48,355
Well, we were just on
our way up to Fenway.
338
00:12:48,389 --> 00:12:49,723
Aw, you got tickets?
That's sweet.
339
00:12:49,757 --> 00:12:51,191
You know, there's
no better outing
340
00:12:51,226 --> 00:12:53,360
than watching
nine innings.
341
00:12:54,462 --> 00:12:56,029
Sorry, I'll perk up
at the game.
342
00:12:56,064 --> 00:12:58,599
Oh, well, actually,
we only have three tickets,
343
00:12:58,633 --> 00:13:00,000
and we're going with Lois.
344
00:13:00,034 --> 00:13:01,335
With Lois?
345
00:13:01,369 --> 00:13:02,636
Oh, yeah, we've actually been
346
00:13:02,670 --> 00:13:04,004
having a great time with her.
347
00:13:04,038 --> 00:13:05,506
And she's quite
a bowler, too.
348
00:13:05,540 --> 00:13:06,707
Is that all right,
Peter?
349
00:13:06,741 --> 00:13:09,510
Do you mind if I go
to the game with the guys?
350
00:13:09,544 --> 00:13:10,644
Yeah, no, that's,
that's fine.
351
00:13:10,678 --> 00:13:12,679
I mean, yeah, you only
got three tickets.
352
00:13:12,714 --> 00:13:14,214
I mean, that's cool.
Have fun.
353
00:13:14,249 --> 00:13:15,949
Okay, we'll see you later.
354
00:13:17,785 --> 00:13:19,353
Hey, Horace,
355
00:13:19,387 --> 00:13:21,472
why don't you take that
wiener out of your hand
356
00:13:21,506 --> 00:13:22,639
and get me a beer.
357
00:13:22,674 --> 00:13:25,125
Don't talk to me that way,
you son of a bitch!
358
00:13:32,851 --> 00:13:33,818
Oh, hey, Peter!
359
00:13:33,852 --> 00:13:34,852
Oh, hey.
360
00:13:34,886 --> 00:13:36,520
Did you have fun
at the game?
361
00:13:36,555 --> 00:13:38,055
Oh, yeah,
it was so exciting.
362
00:13:38,089 --> 00:13:40,391
They scored the winning hit
right at the buzzer.
363
00:13:40,425 --> 00:13:41,659
I'm sorry you missed it.
364
00:13:41,693 --> 00:13:43,194
Yeah, no,
th-that's okay.
365
00:13:43,228 --> 00:13:46,030
I've just been hanging out here
having a great time with...
366
00:13:46,064 --> 00:13:47,298
Meg?!
Hey.
367
00:13:47,332 --> 00:13:49,733
I thought you was a bag
of peeling potatoes.
368
00:13:49,768 --> 00:13:51,235
Well, maybe next time
you can come
369
00:13:51,269 --> 00:13:53,270
with us when we go
to Red Sock Field.
370
00:13:53,305 --> 00:13:54,872
Nobody calls it that.
371
00:13:54,906 --> 00:13:58,075
Quags and Swanny were so funny
yelling things at the visitors.
372
00:13:58,109 --> 00:13:59,176
Quags and Swanny?!
373
00:13:59,211 --> 00:14:00,978
Lois, it's one thing
to steal my friends,
374
00:14:01,012 --> 00:14:02,997
but don't go giving them
stupid new nicknames.
375
00:14:03,031 --> 00:14:04,315
What are you
talking about?
376
00:14:04,349 --> 00:14:05,916
I didn't steal
your friends, Peter.
377
00:14:05,951 --> 00:14:08,219
I'm only doing
what you asked me to do.
378
00:14:08,253 --> 00:14:10,321
No, I asked you
to take my place
379
00:14:10,355 --> 00:14:12,223
at the bowling
tournament, that's it!
380
00:14:12,257 --> 00:14:13,657
Look, Lois, I have
my friends,
381
00:14:13,692 --> 00:14:14,925
and you have groceries
382
00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:16,927
and all those rusty
pink razors in the shower.
383
00:14:16,962 --> 00:14:18,896
Now just stick to what's
intended for you
384
00:14:18,930 --> 00:14:20,231
and leave my
things to me.
385
00:14:20,265 --> 00:14:21,699
Are you saying
you want me
386
00:14:21,733 --> 00:14:23,701
to stop hanging out
with Joe and Quagmire?
387
00:14:23,735 --> 00:14:25,436
They're my friends.
They're all I got!
388
00:14:25,470 --> 00:14:27,204
And you know
how hard it is
389
00:14:27,239 --> 00:14:28,706
for me to make
new friends.
390
00:14:34,429 --> 00:14:36,847
Is this friends?
391
00:14:41,703 --> 00:14:43,137
Stewie, we're never
gonna find him.
392
00:14:43,171 --> 00:14:44,638
They're all
exactly the same.
393
00:14:44,673 --> 00:14:48,008
Wow. I wish you could hear how
racist you sound right now.
394
00:14:48,043 --> 00:14:49,310
Come on. Can't you give
395
00:14:49,344 --> 00:14:50,978
that giraffe at home
another chance?
396
00:14:51,012 --> 00:14:52,680
You know, for every one
they sell,
397
00:14:52,714 --> 00:14:54,448
they save a giraffe
in the wild.
398
00:14:56,501 --> 00:15:00,304
Sorry, giraffes!
They only bought one!
399
00:15:00,338 --> 00:15:02,790
Nah, they returned it!
400
00:15:06,611 --> 00:15:08,445
And so Lois sweet-talks
her way backstage.
401
00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:09,813
Next thing you know,
402
00:15:09,848 --> 00:15:11,715
we're partying all night
with the trapeze people!
403
00:15:11,750 --> 00:15:13,551
One of them drives a Volvo!
404
00:15:13,585 --> 00:15:16,120
Drives a super-safe car,
does that for a living!
405
00:15:16,154 --> 00:15:17,154
Go figure!
406
00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:21,392
So what? She can name
a kind of car.
407
00:15:21,426 --> 00:15:23,227
Big whoop.
I can do that, too.
408
00:15:23,261 --> 00:15:24,328
Vikki.
409
00:15:24,362 --> 00:15:25,596
Vikki Carr.
410
00:15:25,630 --> 00:15:27,264
Peter, relax.
It just happens
411
00:15:27,299 --> 00:15:29,466
that your wife has some
funny stories, that's all.
412
00:15:29,501 --> 00:15:31,869
Well, I got some
funny stories.
413
00:15:31,903 --> 00:15:34,138
I knew a guy
who choked on an almond.
414
00:15:34,172 --> 00:15:35,472
And he had a stroke.
415
00:15:35,507 --> 00:15:37,808
Now he can't take care
of his own bathroom needs.
416
00:15:39,277 --> 00:15:40,928
That's not funny.
That sounds sad.
417
00:15:40,962 --> 00:15:42,463
Yeah, I feel
bad for him.
418
00:15:42,497 --> 00:15:43,931
Oh, don't feel bad
for him.
419
00:15:43,965 --> 00:15:45,532
He got his name
in the paper.
420
00:15:45,567 --> 00:15:47,818
What?
421
00:15:47,852 --> 00:15:49,453
Please look at me!
422
00:15:49,487 --> 00:15:51,088
What the hell's wrong
with you, Peter?
423
00:15:51,122 --> 00:15:53,002
Nothing. What the hell's
wrong with you, Swanny?
424
00:15:53,024 --> 00:15:54,325
I'm Quags.
425
00:15:54,359 --> 00:15:57,261
I don't know
who any of you are anymore!
426
00:15:57,295 --> 00:15:58,963
Oh, he's really upset.
427
00:15:58,997 --> 00:16:00,631
I haven't seen him like this
428
00:16:00,665 --> 00:16:02,666
since he saw
that Rocky Dennis movie.
429
00:16:02,701 --> 00:16:06,253
Take off the mask!
That's your problem!
430
00:16:06,288 --> 00:16:07,488
Right?
431
00:16:11,660 --> 00:16:14,044
That's it, Brian.
He's not here.
432
00:16:14,079 --> 00:16:15,946
None of these
bears are Rupert.
433
00:16:15,981 --> 00:16:17,281
Stewie...
434
00:16:17,315 --> 00:16:20,217
You don't have
to say it, Brian. I know.
435
00:16:21,503 --> 00:16:24,672
So this is what it feels
like to be a grown-up, huh?
436
00:16:24,706 --> 00:16:26,740
All alone in the world.
437
00:16:26,775 --> 00:16:29,944
Look, Stewie,
nothing lasts forever.
438
00:16:29,978 --> 00:16:32,346
You and Rupert had
some special times together,
439
00:16:32,380 --> 00:16:33,881
and you'll always have that.
440
00:16:35,116 --> 00:16:36,583
What the deuce?
What's that noise?
441
00:16:36,618 --> 00:16:37,618
I don't know.
442
00:16:47,345 --> 00:16:49,663
Oh, my God!
Brian, look!
443
00:16:52,934 --> 00:16:54,084
That's him!
That's Rupert!
444
00:16:54,119 --> 00:16:55,552
How do you know?
445
00:16:55,587 --> 00:16:57,187
You can't hear
him calling me?
446
00:16:57,222 --> 00:16:58,656
He's calling me,
clear as day!
447
00:16:58,690 --> 00:17:00,457
Ah. Yeah,
now I hear him.
448
00:17:00,492 --> 00:17:02,860
Rupert, yes, we're here
to rescue you!
449
00:17:02,894 --> 00:17:04,211
Stewie, wait!
It's too dangerous!
450
00:17:04,245 --> 00:17:06,413
I won't let it end
like this, Brian!
451
00:17:21,262 --> 00:17:23,213
Don't you give up on me, Rupert!
452
00:17:23,264 --> 00:17:24,932
Hang on, Stewie!
Maybe I can help!
453
00:17:24,966 --> 00:17:26,333
Maybe I can use this helicopter
454
00:17:26,351 --> 00:17:28,052
to knock Rupert off
the conveyor belt...
455
00:17:28,103 --> 00:17:29,503
Ah! Son of a bitch!
456
00:17:29,537 --> 00:17:31,221
Recall room, Brian.
Nothing works in here.
457
00:17:31,272 --> 00:17:32,890
Now come on!
Rupert's in trouble!
458
00:17:32,941 --> 00:17:34,892
Okay, I'm coming, I'm coming.
459
00:17:42,567 --> 00:17:44,785
Almost there.
You can do this, Stewie.
460
00:18:02,870 --> 00:18:05,089
♪
461
00:18:25,510 --> 00:18:26,243
Damn it!
462
00:18:26,277 --> 00:18:29,246
Brian, do something!
463
00:18:48,249 --> 00:18:51,468
Oh, Rupert!
Thank God, you're alive!
464
00:18:51,519 --> 00:18:53,687
I'm... I'm ready now.
465
00:18:53,721 --> 00:18:55,689
I'm ready to get off the pill.
466
00:18:55,723 --> 00:18:58,758
I think we should start trying.
467
00:19:02,347 --> 00:19:04,248
Look, Peter, I think
there's something
468
00:19:04,282 --> 00:19:05,816
we should talk about.
469
00:19:05,850 --> 00:19:08,218
I'm not reading the last page
of that dinosaur book.
470
00:19:08,253 --> 00:19:10,087
I know something bad
happens to 'em.
471
00:19:10,121 --> 00:19:11,688
No, Peter, we need
to talk about
472
00:19:11,723 --> 00:19:13,090
this situation
with the guys.
473
00:19:13,124 --> 00:19:16,610
Look, of course I like hanging
out with Joe and Quagmire.
474
00:19:16,628 --> 00:19:19,446
But I like hanging out
with you more.
475
00:19:19,464 --> 00:19:22,749
I mean, it's nice to make
new friends, but not if it means
476
00:19:22,783 --> 00:19:25,085
losing the best friend
I've ever had.
477
00:19:25,119 --> 00:19:27,404
Yeah, well, I was
probably kind of a jerk, too.
478
00:19:27,438 --> 00:19:29,640
I guess I shouldn't be
telling you who you can
479
00:19:29,674 --> 00:19:31,141
and can't be
friends with.
480
00:19:33,077 --> 00:19:34,311
Hey, you guys want to go
481
00:19:34,345 --> 00:19:36,163
with me and Joe
to the roller derby?
482
00:19:36,197 --> 00:19:38,132
It's great. You get
to see big, husky chicks
483
00:19:38,166 --> 00:19:39,883
elbow each other
right in the jugs.
484
00:19:39,918 --> 00:19:41,185
Oh, that sounds like fun.
485
00:19:41,219 --> 00:19:42,452
Yeah, and I'm bringing
my grill
486
00:19:42,487 --> 00:19:45,239
so we can eat corn in the
parking lot before we go in.
487
00:19:45,273 --> 00:19:46,456
What do you say?
Who's in?
488
00:19:46,491 --> 00:19:47,457
Sounds great!
489
00:19:47,492 --> 00:19:49,376
Yeah, that'll be really...
490
00:19:52,247 --> 00:19:53,580
You know what, you guys?
491
00:19:53,615 --> 00:19:55,949
I think I'm gonna
just stay in tonight.
492
00:19:55,984 --> 00:19:58,585
I got a huge stack
of coupons to go through.
493
00:19:58,620 --> 00:20:00,787
Plus, I'm planning on having
my period really hard later,
494
00:20:00,822 --> 00:20:03,490
and I want to be
in the tub when it happens.
495
00:20:03,525 --> 00:20:05,359
You what?!
Gross.
496
00:20:05,393 --> 00:20:06,710
Oh, I get it.
497
00:20:06,744 --> 00:20:08,579
Guys, I think Lois
is getting a visit
498
00:20:08,613 --> 00:20:09,847
from her Aunt Period.
499
00:20:09,881 --> 00:20:11,582
Yeah, and lots
of other chick stuff
500
00:20:11,616 --> 00:20:13,800
you guys wouldn't be
interested in.
501
00:20:13,834 --> 00:20:17,287
Peter, go have fun
with your friends.
502
00:20:17,322 --> 00:20:19,356
Thanks, Lois.
503
00:20:22,727 --> 00:20:25,729
Oh, hey, Brian.
Where have you been?
504
00:20:25,763 --> 00:20:27,464
Oh, just reuniting
some old friends.
505
00:20:27,498 --> 00:20:28,782
Huh. Me, too.
506
00:20:28,816 --> 00:20:30,517
Feels good, doesn't it?
507
00:20:30,552 --> 00:20:32,219
Sure does.
508
00:20:33,588 --> 00:20:34,922
I love you, Rupert.
509
00:20:34,956 --> 00:20:36,924
Don't you ever leave me again.
510
00:20:40,378 --> 00:20:45,378
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
511
00:20:46,401 --> 00:20:49,169
Mom, Stewie's dead!