1
00:00:00,613 --> 00:00:03,682
♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
2
00:00:04,017 --> 00:00:07,353
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
3
00:00:07,414 --> 00:00:10,466
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:13,982
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
5
00:00:14,049 --> 00:00:17,918
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
6
00:00:18,003 --> 00:00:20,871
♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪
7
00:00:20,922 --> 00:00:22,456
♪ All the things that make us ♪
8
00:00:22,524 --> 00:00:23,841
♪ Laugh and cry ♪
9
00:00:23,908 --> 00:00:28,417
♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
10
00:00:28,442 --> 00:00:31,442
♪ Family Guy 9x17 ♪
The Big Bang Theory
Original Air Date on May 8, 2011
11
00:00:31,443 --> 00:00:33,835
== Sync, corrected by elderman ==
12
00:00:33,838 --> 00:00:35,839
Okay, Brian,
I'm goin' to the IGA.
13
00:00:35,900 --> 00:00:37,534
Don't let Peter
get into the cookie dough.
14
00:00:37,602 --> 00:00:39,269
Yeah, sure.
15
00:00:44,242 --> 00:00:45,592
Uh, Brian?
16
00:00:45,660 --> 00:00:47,727
I'm just gonna go
into the kitchen and...
17
00:00:47,795 --> 00:00:48,929
look at somethin'.
18
00:00:48,996 --> 00:00:50,130
Peter, I know
what you're doing.
19
00:00:50,198 --> 00:00:53,733
I'm just gonna
look at somethin'.
20
00:00:53,801 --> 00:00:57,387
Oh! What a very
interesting thing.
21
00:00:57,454 --> 00:00:59,839
Brian, can I give you money
and you write me a check
22
00:00:59,924 --> 00:01:01,107
so I can order something from
23
00:01:01,175 --> 00:01:02,726
this Abercrombie & Fitch
catalog?
24
00:01:02,793 --> 00:01:04,427
What do you want to order?
Oh, wait, let me guess.
25
00:01:04,495 --> 00:01:06,096
Him.
26
00:01:06,163 --> 00:01:07,664
He got you, Stewie!
27
00:01:07,732 --> 00:01:09,382
Well, um, if
it were you...
28
00:01:09,450 --> 00:01:12,452
You-you would take the magazine
and you'd put it on the floor
29
00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:15,355
and pee on it 'cause you're
a dog and you're stupid,
30
00:01:15,423 --> 00:01:18,525
and-and you have a weird
toenail halfway up your elbow.
31
00:01:18,609 --> 00:01:20,410
Nice comeback.
32
00:01:20,478 --> 00:01:22,128
Geez, that one
was all over the place.
33
00:01:22,196 --> 00:01:23,496
I should have been
quicker than that.
34
00:01:23,564 --> 00:01:24,731
I should've said, "Really?
35
00:01:24,799 --> 00:01:26,399
Why would I order
your ex-boyfriend?"
36
00:01:26,467 --> 00:01:27,801
And then I'd go like this.
37
00:01:27,868 --> 00:01:29,202
Aw, that's so good!
38
00:01:29,270 --> 00:01:30,770
Why didn't I say that?!
39
00:01:30,838 --> 00:01:32,322
If only I had a time machine,
40
00:01:32,390 --> 00:01:34,140
I could go back in time
and have that comeback ready.
41
00:01:34,208 --> 00:01:35,308
Wait a minute.
42
00:01:35,376 --> 00:01:36,710
I do have a time machine!
43
00:01:47,154 --> 00:01:49,856
Brian, can I give you money
44
00:01:49,941 --> 00:01:51,441
and you write me a check
so I can order something
45
00:01:51,509 --> 00:01:53,193
from this Abercrombie
& Fitch catalog?
46
00:01:53,261 --> 00:01:55,011
What do you want to order?
Oh, wait, let me guess:
47
00:01:55,079 --> 00:01:56,313
Him.
Really?
48
00:01:56,380 --> 00:01:58,214
Why would I order
your ex-boyfriend?
49
00:01:58,282 --> 00:02:01,017
He got you, Brian!
50
00:02:02,870 --> 00:02:04,554
Why didn't I think
of this before?
51
00:02:04,622 --> 00:02:06,506
Now I can always have
the last word.
52
00:02:06,574 --> 00:02:09,209
Like that ground control guy
during the moon landing.
53
00:02:09,277 --> 00:02:12,012
That's one small step for man,
54
00:02:12,079 --> 00:02:14,481
one giant leap for mankind.
55
00:02:14,548 --> 00:02:16,049
Roger that, Neil.
56
00:02:16,117 --> 00:02:19,219
We came in peace for
all the peoples of the Earth.
57
00:02:19,287 --> 00:02:21,121
We read you, Neil.
58
00:02:21,188 --> 00:02:22,555
We chose to go to the moon,
59
00:02:22,623 --> 00:02:25,892
not because it is easy,
but because it is hard.
60
00:02:25,960 --> 00:02:27,527
Had a lot of
help down here, Neil.
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00:02:27,595 --> 00:02:29,729
We have slipped
the surly bonds of Earth
62
00:02:29,797 --> 00:02:31,898
and touched the face of God.
63
00:02:31,966 --> 00:02:33,133
Yeah, if you could just
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00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:35,035
grab some rocks, Neil,
throw 'em in a bag,
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00:02:35,102 --> 00:02:36,303
we'll get you home
safe and sound.
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00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:41,041
This is silly fun.
67
00:02:41,108 --> 00:02:43,943
I can go back in time and change
anything in Brian's life.
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00:02:47,448 --> 00:02:49,049
Aw, don't feel
bad, Peter.
69
00:02:49,116 --> 00:02:50,784
Hey, I know what'll
cheer you up.
70
00:02:52,403 --> 00:02:54,104
Hey, where the hell's
my banana thing?
71
00:02:54,171 --> 00:02:55,972
♪ It's peanut butter
jelly time ♪
72
00:02:56,040 --> 00:02:57,757
♪ Peanut butter
jelly time ♪
73
00:02:57,825 --> 00:02:59,209
♪ Peanut butter
jelly time ♪
74
00:02:59,276 --> 00:03:00,827
♪ Where he at?
Where he at? ♪
75
00:03:00,895 --> 00:03:03,430
Oh... Oh, my God.
76
00:03:03,497 --> 00:03:05,899
Oh, Stewie, that
is so funny!
77
00:03:05,966 --> 00:03:08,435
Oh... I did not
see that comin'!
78
00:03:08,502 --> 00:03:10,353
But... that was my thing.
79
00:03:10,421 --> 00:03:12,455
I'm pretty sure it was
the Internet's thing.
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00:03:12,523 --> 00:03:13,990
♪ Peanut butter jelly,
peanut butter jelly ♪
81
00:03:14,058 --> 00:03:15,692
♪ Peanut butter jelly
with a baseball bat. ♪
82
00:03:18,546 --> 00:03:21,131
Hey, you remember
a few months ago
83
00:03:21,198 --> 00:03:23,867
when you scored that date with
that Victoria's Secret model
84
00:03:23,934 --> 00:03:25,235
and then ended up
sealing the deal?
85
00:03:25,302 --> 00:03:26,803
Oh, yeah. That was amazing.
86
00:03:26,871 --> 00:03:28,004
What was the date of that?
87
00:03:28,072 --> 00:03:31,257
August 15th. August 15th!
You betcha!
88
00:03:35,679 --> 00:03:37,213
Now, I have to
leave enough time...
89
00:03:37,281 --> 00:03:38,264
Talking to yourself?
90
00:03:38,332 --> 00:03:40,600
Gyah...! Brian, Brian!
Hello!
91
00:03:40,668 --> 00:03:43,219
Stewie, I know you've been going
back in time to embarrass me.
92
00:03:43,287 --> 00:03:46,306
Oh, what-what,
that... come on!
93
00:03:46,374 --> 00:03:47,807
Oh, okay, then-then
where are you going now?
94
00:03:47,892 --> 00:03:50,226
Well, I have a-a-a very
important mission.
95
00:03:50,294 --> 00:03:51,978
Uh-huh. Let me see that panel.
No, no, don't touch that!
96
00:03:52,063 --> 00:03:53,063
Come on, let me see that!
Don't...
97
00:03:53,130 --> 00:03:54,697
Move out of the way!
No, you can't...
98
00:03:54,765 --> 00:03:55,648
I'm not gonna let you do this...
You just touched my boob.
99
00:03:55,733 --> 00:03:56,900
I'm gonna tell Mom.
100
00:04:29,333 --> 00:04:32,786
What happened?
101
00:04:32,853 --> 00:04:34,621
Where are we?
I don't know.
102
00:04:34,688 --> 00:04:37,557
It's like...
we're not anywhere.
103
00:04:37,641 --> 00:04:39,225
Stewie, what the hell
did your machine do?!
104
00:04:39,310 --> 00:04:40,810
Just calm down,
calm down, Brian.
105
00:04:40,861 --> 00:04:43,563
I've got the return pad.
106
00:04:43,631 --> 00:04:44,948
All right, step on.
107
00:04:46,033 --> 00:04:48,067
What happened?
108
00:04:48,135 --> 00:04:49,819
Good Lord!
109
00:04:49,887 --> 00:04:51,471
This is impossible!
110
00:04:51,539 --> 00:04:53,573
What? Well, the return pad works
111
00:04:53,657 --> 00:04:55,492
by first locking onto
our coordinates
112
00:04:55,559 --> 00:04:57,327
along the curve of the
space-time continuum.
113
00:04:57,394 --> 00:04:59,546
But it can't.
Why not?
114
00:04:59,630 --> 00:05:01,748
Well, the only explanation is...
115
00:05:01,816 --> 00:05:03,683
we've somehow been transported
116
00:05:03,751 --> 00:05:05,552
outside the space-time
continuum.
117
00:05:05,636 --> 00:05:07,153
I don't-I don't understand.
118
00:05:07,221 --> 00:05:08,321
Non-existence.
119
00:05:08,389 --> 00:05:10,156
No past, no future.
120
00:05:10,224 --> 00:05:11,808
No universe.
121
00:05:11,876 --> 00:05:14,077
But still
somehow a large,
122
00:05:14,145 --> 00:05:16,346
brightly-colored promo
for The Cleveland Show.
123
00:05:16,413 --> 00:05:19,115
Hey, y'all,
it's The Cleveland Show!
124
00:05:19,183 --> 00:05:20,450
Huh. That's weird.
125
00:05:20,518 --> 00:05:22,352
Black guys usually
don't promote themselves.
126
00:05:26,292 --> 00:05:28,410
Come on, Stewie, can you
fix that damn thing or not?
127
00:05:28,478 --> 00:05:29,695
Well, it's not
broken, Brian.
128
00:05:29,779 --> 00:05:32,064
It operates according
to the laws of physics,
129
00:05:32,131 --> 00:05:34,550
but we're outside the
space-time continuum,
130
00:05:34,617 --> 00:05:36,668
so there are no laws
of physics-- watch.
131
00:05:40,189 --> 00:05:41,557
How the hell'd
you do that?
132
00:05:41,624 --> 00:05:42,841
No laws of physics, Brian.
133
00:05:42,909 --> 00:05:44,042
We create our own physics.
134
00:05:44,110 --> 00:05:45,160
See, watch this.
135
00:05:47,297 --> 00:05:49,131
♪ Bum-bah, duh-duh,
bum-bah, duh-duh ♪
136
00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:51,433
♪ Bum-bah, duh-duh,
bum-bah, duh-duh... ♪
137
00:05:51,500 --> 00:05:53,969
♪ Heart and soul ♪
♪ Bum-bah, duh-duh,
bum-bah, duh-duh ♪
138
00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:55,837
♪ I fell in love with you ♪
♪ Bum-bah, duh-duh,
bum-bah, duh-duh ♪
139
00:05:55,839 --> 00:05:57,839
♪ Heart and soul ♪
♪ Bum-bah, duh-duh,
bum-bah, duh-duh ♪
140
00:05:57,841 --> 00:05:59,674
♪ The way a fool would do ♪
♪ Bum-bah, duh-duh♪
141
00:05:59,726 --> 00:06:01,843
♪ Madly ♪
♪ Bum-bah, duh-duh,
bum-bah, duh-duh ♪
142
00:06:01,845 --> 00:06:05,030
♪ Because you held me tight ♪
♪ Bum-bah, duh-duh, m-bah, duh-duh ♪
143
00:06:05,114 --> 00:06:07,933
♪ And stole a kiss in the night ♪
♪ Bum-bah, duh-duh, bum-bah... ♪
144
00:06:08,001 --> 00:06:09,234
Did I tell you?
145
00:06:09,319 --> 00:06:10,903
Yeah, that was good.
We were good.
146
00:06:10,970 --> 00:06:12,871
Yeah, th-that's why it
sucks that we're alone here.
147
00:06:12,939 --> 00:06:14,473
Because if-if-if
there were people here,
148
00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:16,308
they would say,
"That was good.
149
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:17,526
You guys should
do that more."
150
00:06:17,594 --> 00:06:18,543
Oh, yeah, they totally
would, but look-look,
151
00:06:18,628 --> 00:06:19,578
I still want to
go home, Stewie.
152
00:06:19,662 --> 00:06:20,963
How do we get
outta here?
153
00:06:21,030 --> 00:06:23,465
Well, if I overload
the return pad's reactor,
154
00:06:23,533 --> 00:06:25,033
it might release enough energy
155
00:06:25,101 --> 00:06:27,786
to blow us back into the
universe, but it's too risky.
156
00:06:27,854 --> 00:06:29,087
But it could
get us home?
157
00:06:29,155 --> 00:06:31,223
Well, maybe, but
it'll break my thing.
158
00:06:31,291 --> 00:06:33,458
And if I overload that reactor,
we could both die.
159
00:06:33,526 --> 00:06:34,843
Well, you at least
have to try.
160
00:06:34,894 --> 00:06:38,430
And if you don't, I am gonna
spend the rest of eternity
161
00:06:38,514 --> 00:06:40,715
chuckling at a joke that
I am not gonna share with you.
162
00:06:40,767 --> 00:06:43,735
Oh, oh, man.
163
00:06:43,820 --> 00:06:45,220
What? What's the joke?
164
00:06:45,288 --> 00:06:47,406
Oh, yes!
165
00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:50,025
What? What is it?
You-you can't say that!
166
00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:51,777
But it got said!
167
00:06:51,844 --> 00:06:52,961
Wha-what what?!
By who?!
168
00:06:53,029 --> 00:06:54,496
All right, fine, fine!
169
00:06:54,564 --> 00:06:55,580
I'll try it,
you bastard!
170
00:06:55,648 --> 00:06:56,898
Now, step onto
the return pad.
171
00:06:56,950 --> 00:06:58,500
Now brace yourself.
172
00:06:58,568 --> 00:07:01,520
Hopefully, the explosion
will propel us into reality.
173
00:07:27,230 --> 00:07:28,797
We made it.
Yeah, we made it.
174
00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:30,499
Okay, now tell me the joke.
Oh, it's nothing really.
175
00:07:30,566 --> 00:07:32,067
It's just this bit about
a planned parenthood clinic
176
00:07:32,135 --> 00:07:33,368
on Halloween.
177
00:07:33,436 --> 00:07:35,370
Next.
178
00:07:38,241 --> 00:07:40,742
Brian, I am about to
show you something
179
00:07:40,810 --> 00:07:42,477
that's gonna
blow your mind!
180
00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:44,513
Do you know what the
big bang theory is?
181
00:07:44,580 --> 00:07:46,181
Yeah, the theory that
the universe started
182
00:07:46,249 --> 00:07:47,849
with a massive outward explosion
183
00:07:47,917 --> 00:07:50,585
from a singularity of infinite
mass and infinite density.
184
00:07:50,653 --> 00:07:52,354
Check out the big brain
on Brian.
185
00:07:52,422 --> 00:07:54,272
Good. Now, take a look.
186
00:07:54,340 --> 00:07:56,942
The universe's cosmic
background radiation,
187
00:07:57,010 --> 00:07:58,677
a kind of echo
of the big bang,
188
00:07:58,745 --> 00:08:02,230
precisely matches the energy
spectrum of my return pad!
189
00:08:02,298 --> 00:08:03,815
Well, what does
that mean?
190
00:08:03,883 --> 00:08:07,185
It means my return pad's
explosion was the big bang.
191
00:08:07,253 --> 00:08:09,988
But the big bang happened, like,
billions of years ago.
192
00:08:10,056 --> 00:08:12,858
No, no-- we were outside
the space-time continuum.
193
00:08:12,925 --> 00:08:16,161
Time and space didn't
exist until my explosion.
194
00:08:16,229 --> 00:08:18,663
Which means I created
the universe, Brian.
195
00:08:18,731 --> 00:08:20,232
That doesn't make any sense.
196
00:08:20,299 --> 00:08:22,300
You were born in the universe.
How could you create it?
197
00:08:22,368 --> 00:08:24,336
It's called a "temporal
causality loop."
198
00:08:24,404 --> 00:08:27,072
The universe created me,
so I could create it,
199
00:08:27,140 --> 00:08:29,007
so it could create
me and so on.
200
00:08:29,075 --> 00:08:30,542
That's...
201
00:08:30,610 --> 00:08:32,878
that's the most incredible
thing I've ever heard.
202
00:08:32,945 --> 00:08:34,312
So, wait, that-that
means that...
203
00:08:34,380 --> 00:08:36,515
I kinda created
the universe, too.
204
00:08:36,582 --> 00:08:39,051
No, no, no, no.
205
00:08:39,118 --> 00:08:41,887
You're, you're sort of the
Art Garfunkel of the universe.
206
00:08:46,125 --> 00:08:49,227
Hey, Lois, check out what I
spelled with my Alpha-Bits.
207
00:08:49,312 --> 00:08:51,563
Oh, my God.
208
00:08:51,631 --> 00:08:53,732
Yeah! Now watch.
209
00:08:56,702 --> 00:08:58,386
Oh, maybe later,
210
00:08:58,454 --> 00:08:59,454
you'll want
the real thing.
211
00:09:01,591 --> 00:09:03,425
I prefer the Alpha-Bits.
212
00:09:03,493 --> 00:09:05,260
Well, I'm off
to the farmers' market.
213
00:09:05,328 --> 00:09:07,629
I've gotta pick up some
plutonium for a new return pad.
214
00:09:07,697 --> 00:09:10,398
In case I decide to make
another universe later.
215
00:09:10,466 --> 00:09:12,033
Plutonium at the
farmers' market?
216
00:09:12,101 --> 00:09:14,269
Yeah, I'm only using
organic plutonium now.
217
00:09:14,337 --> 00:09:16,071
Think globally:
buy locally.
218
00:09:16,139 --> 00:09:18,073
Hey, slut,
get me out of this.
219
00:09:21,210 --> 00:09:23,128
Hello there, Yusuf.
Hey, Stewie!
220
00:09:23,196 --> 00:09:24,596
What can I get you?
221
00:09:24,664 --> 00:09:25,864
Oh, just a little
of the good stuff
222
00:09:25,932 --> 00:09:27,032
for a new time machine
return pad.
223
00:09:27,100 --> 00:09:28,467
Coming right up.
224
00:09:28,534 --> 00:09:30,802
So, how's the whole
terrorism thing goin'?
225
00:09:30,870 --> 00:09:33,738
Well, the good news is
my son died in a car bombing.
226
00:09:33,806 --> 00:09:36,558
The bad news is
he borrowed my car!
227
00:09:36,626 --> 00:09:40,462
♪ ♪
228
00:09:42,064 --> 00:09:43,365
Oh, God!
229
00:09:43,432 --> 00:09:45,333
Oh, that's
the other reason I come here.
230
00:09:45,401 --> 00:09:48,019
Okay, so here
is your plutonium.
231
00:09:48,087 --> 00:09:50,288
I hope you kill
my bitch wife with it.
232
00:09:50,356 --> 00:09:52,124
Whoa, whoa. Where's
that comin' from?
233
00:09:52,191 --> 00:09:54,826
Eh, I'm just a little upset
because she left me.
234
00:09:54,894 --> 00:09:57,863
I guess she didn't know
what "jihad."
235
00:09:57,930 --> 00:09:59,598
♪ ♪
236
00:09:59,665 --> 00:10:00,816
Come on!
Oh, sorry!
237
00:10:00,867 --> 00:10:05,137
♪ ♪
238
00:10:05,204 --> 00:10:06,321
So...
239
00:10:06,389 --> 00:10:09,007
Stewie Griffin invented
a time machine.
240
00:10:34,901 --> 00:10:37,018
Bertram!
241
00:10:37,086 --> 00:10:38,220
Hello, Stewie.
242
00:10:38,287 --> 00:10:39,955
You don't realize it yet,
243
00:10:40,022 --> 00:10:42,657
but your life is about
to cease to exist.
244
00:10:42,725 --> 00:10:44,392
What are you talking about?
245
00:10:44,460 --> 00:10:47,162
I am going to kill
one of your ancestors,
246
00:10:47,230 --> 00:10:49,898
effectively erasing you
from history!
247
00:10:49,966 --> 00:10:51,366
Here! Play with this!
248
00:10:51,434 --> 00:10:53,335
At least you can spend
your final moments
249
00:10:53,402 --> 00:10:55,370
doing something you enjoy.
250
00:10:55,438 --> 00:10:57,672
You know, it's funny, I had
actually stopped playing
251
00:10:57,740 --> 00:10:59,507
with that toy, but now that
I see you with it,
252
00:10:59,575 --> 00:11:00,742
I kinda want to play
with it again.
253
00:11:01,911 --> 00:11:03,511
Look at me! I'm mowing the lawn!
254
00:11:10,603 --> 00:11:12,504
What the hell's
all that noise?
255
00:11:12,572 --> 00:11:13,738
Brian, it was Bertram!
256
00:11:13,806 --> 00:11:14,940
He's gone into the past,
257
00:11:15,007 --> 00:11:16,308
and he claims he's
going to...
258
00:11:18,027 --> 00:11:19,778
Stewie, what's going on?!
259
00:11:22,732 --> 00:11:24,950
Peter, what was that?!
260
00:11:38,297 --> 00:11:40,565
Quick, Brian, into
the time machine!
261
00:11:42,018 --> 00:11:43,535
Stewie, what the hell
was that?!
262
00:11:43,619 --> 00:11:45,537
Those were ripples
in time, Brian,
263
00:11:45,621 --> 00:11:47,806
emanating from some
point in the past.
264
00:11:47,873 --> 00:11:49,941
And there's only
one explanation.
265
00:11:50,009 --> 00:11:52,427
Bertram told me he planned
to kill one of my ancestors.
266
00:11:52,495 --> 00:11:54,512
He must have succeeded,
267
00:11:54,580 --> 00:11:56,481
thereby changing the
past and erasing... me.
268
00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:58,566
But what has that got
to do with...?
269
00:11:58,634 --> 00:12:00,552
I created the universe, Brian!
270
00:12:00,636 --> 00:12:03,054
Bertram didn't know that by
removing me from history,
271
00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:05,390
I wouldn't be there to be
accidentally thrown outside
272
00:12:05,458 --> 00:12:07,041
the universe and subsequently
create it.
273
00:12:07,093 --> 00:12:09,044
So the universe never existed!
274
00:12:09,111 --> 00:12:10,745
Well, we have
to stop him!
275
00:12:10,813 --> 00:12:13,565
Yes. Unfortunately, Bertram
took the return pad with him,
276
00:12:13,649 --> 00:12:15,233
so we'll only get
one shot at this.
277
00:12:15,301 --> 00:12:16,501
Ah, here it is.
278
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:18,403
Now we'll have to
travel back in time
279
00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:20,672
to a point shortly before
Bertram's arrival.
280
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:21,806
Get ready, Brian.
281
00:12:34,787 --> 00:12:36,955
How long until
Bertram arrives?
282
00:12:37,023 --> 00:12:39,424
I can't be certain, but
I'd say about 15 minutes.
283
00:12:39,492 --> 00:12:40,725
Where do you
think we are?
284
00:12:40,793 --> 00:12:41,910
I don't know.
285
00:12:41,978 --> 00:12:43,912
Looks like...
the Renaissance.
286
00:12:43,980 --> 00:12:45,246
It does.
287
00:12:45,314 --> 00:12:47,582
This doesn't count
as our trip to Italy.
288
00:12:47,650 --> 00:12:48,984
Brian, look!
There's the Mona Lisa.
289
00:12:50,219 --> 00:12:52,020
And it's unfinished!
290
00:12:52,088 --> 00:12:54,973
We must be in Leonardo da Vinci's studio!
291
00:12:55,041 --> 00:12:56,090
Quick! Someone's coming!
292
00:13:03,766 --> 00:13:06,701
That must be Leonardo da Vinci!
293
00:13:06,769 --> 00:13:08,887
Stewie, he looks
just like you!
294
00:13:08,954 --> 00:13:10,955
Da Vinci must be
my ancestor.
295
00:13:11,023 --> 00:13:12,891
Good Lord!
296
00:13:12,958 --> 00:13:14,642
That's who Bertram's
here to kill!
297
00:13:14,710 --> 00:13:15,994
So that means
you're Italian.
298
00:13:16,062 --> 00:13:17,395
Of course!
299
00:13:17,463 --> 00:13:19,097
My love for SpaghettiOs
and smoking on the toilet.
300
00:13:19,165 --> 00:13:20,265
It all makes sense.
301
00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:21,366
Ew.
302
00:13:28,028 --> 00:13:30,129
My God, da Vinci
is your ancestor!
303
00:13:30,197 --> 00:13:31,547
But why would
Bertram go back
304
00:13:31,615 --> 00:13:33,149
this far
to get rid of you?
305
00:13:33,217 --> 00:13:35,084
Ah, you're forgetting I
initially encountered Bertram
306
00:13:35,152 --> 00:13:37,603
as a sperm in one
of the fat man's balls,
307
00:13:37,671 --> 00:13:39,789
so he couldn't get rid
of the fat man
308
00:13:39,857 --> 00:13:41,724
or any recent ancestor
on my father's side.
309
00:13:41,792 --> 00:13:43,960
Bertram had to go back
enough generations
310
00:13:44,027 --> 00:13:45,995
to make sure he
was snuffing out
311
00:13:46,063 --> 00:13:47,330
the ancestral source
of my genius
312
00:13:47,397 --> 00:13:48,931
without affecting his own.
313
00:13:48,999 --> 00:13:50,833
And apparently, it's
Leonardo da Vinci.
314
00:13:50,901 --> 00:13:53,369
Boy, I'm-a sick of da pizza.
315
00:13:53,437 --> 00:13:55,771
Well, we've gotta stop Bertram.
What are we gonna do?
316
00:13:55,839 --> 00:13:57,723
Don't worry, Brian,
I'll come up with something.
317
00:13:57,791 --> 00:13:58,925
Remember, I'm a genius.
318
00:13:58,992 --> 00:14:00,193
Like Thomas Edison.
319
00:14:00,244 --> 00:14:02,645
Thomas, what are
you doing?!
320
00:14:02,713 --> 00:14:04,347
Experimenting.
321
00:14:06,250 --> 00:14:07,783
Brian, look!
322
00:14:12,306 --> 00:14:14,006
Mama mia!
What is this-a?!
323
00:14:14,074 --> 00:14:16,576
Leonardo da Vinci, I presume.
324
00:14:16,643 --> 00:14:18,878
Who are you-a,
little-a lisping baby?
325
00:14:18,946 --> 00:14:21,948
Your assassin,
you overrated caricaturist!
326
00:14:25,502 --> 00:14:26,569
Stewie!
327
00:14:26,637 --> 00:14:28,137
That's my name,
don't wear it out.
328
00:14:30,407 --> 00:14:31,757
See, that's
brand-new to him.
329
00:15:36,006 --> 00:15:37,356
Ey!
330
00:15:37,424 --> 00:15:38,324
Ey!
331
00:16:14,361 --> 00:16:17,013
You're about to be yesterday's
hopscotch chalk
332
00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:18,998
on a sidewalk, Stewie!
333
00:16:19,049 --> 00:16:20,366
Erased!
334
00:16:20,417 --> 00:16:22,034
Yeah, no, I-I got
the metaphor,
335
00:16:22,085 --> 00:16:23,636
but, Bertram, if
you erase me,
336
00:16:23,703 --> 00:16:24,603
you'll destroy
the universe!
337
00:16:24,671 --> 00:16:26,088
What are you talking about?
338
00:16:26,173 --> 00:16:27,840
Listen to him, Bertram!
It's true!
339
00:16:27,891 --> 00:16:30,559
Brian and I were trapped outside
the space-time continuum
340
00:16:30,644 --> 00:16:32,395
and the only way for us
341
00:16:32,479 --> 00:16:35,064
to get back was to overload
my old return pad!
342
00:16:35,148 --> 00:16:37,350
The resulting explosion
was the big bang!
343
00:16:37,401 --> 00:16:39,551
So if you kill me,
you're killing yourself
344
00:16:39,603 --> 00:16:41,887
and everything else that ever
existed or will exist!
345
00:16:43,857 --> 00:16:45,057
Worth it!
346
00:16:48,945 --> 00:16:50,830
You fool!
347
00:17:12,219 --> 00:17:13,519
Hey, Bertram,
348
00:17:13,587 --> 00:17:15,454
what's your favorite kind
of bottled water?
349
00:17:15,522 --> 00:17:16,555
Huh?
350
00:17:16,623 --> 00:17:18,224
Mine's Arrowhead.
351
00:17:22,595 --> 00:17:25,164
Wow, that was...
352
00:17:25,232 --> 00:17:26,349
dramatic.
353
00:17:29,436 --> 00:17:31,887
My God, he's really dead.
354
00:17:31,955 --> 00:17:33,422
This is it.
355
00:17:33,490 --> 00:17:34,757
Yeah.
356
00:17:34,825 --> 00:17:37,827
But why hasn't the universe
ceased to exist?
357
00:17:37,894 --> 00:17:38,994
I don't know.
358
00:17:39,062 --> 00:17:40,613
Unless...
359
00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:42,681
there's still a chance
of me being born.
360
00:17:42,749 --> 00:17:44,216
But da Vinci is dead...
361
00:17:44,284 --> 00:17:46,068
Yes, but we're still here.
362
00:17:46,136 --> 00:17:48,537
So I must have done, or will do,
363
00:17:48,605 --> 00:17:50,740
something that will save
the universe.
364
00:17:50,807 --> 00:17:53,242
If I can just figure out
what that is.
365
00:17:54,478 --> 00:17:56,312
Oh! Bertram just
voided his bowels.
366
00:17:56,380 --> 00:17:57,747
That's it!
367
00:17:57,814 --> 00:18:00,916
The genetic material needed
for my creation is inside me.
368
00:18:00,984 --> 00:18:03,319
So I'll take da Vinci's place
and pass it on.
369
00:18:03,387 --> 00:18:05,488
Wait, how did you get
that from "bowels"? Huh?
370
00:18:05,555 --> 00:18:07,239
I'm just wondering how
you got that from...
371
00:18:07,307 --> 00:18:08,457
You know what?
I don't care.
372
00:18:08,525 --> 00:18:09,625
Will, will that
work, though?
373
00:18:09,693 --> 00:18:10,626
You taking
da Vinci's place?
374
00:18:10,694 --> 00:18:12,962
Only one way to find out.
375
00:18:13,029 --> 00:18:15,264
All right, I'm going
to send you back five minutes
376
00:18:15,332 --> 00:18:16,932
after we disappeared
in the time machine.
377
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:18,134
If all goes well,
378
00:18:18,201 --> 00:18:20,336
the universe should be
intact this time.
379
00:18:20,404 --> 00:18:21,954
Good luck, old friend.
380
00:18:22,022 --> 00:18:24,840
Hopefully, I'll be leaving you
a future to return to.
381
00:18:24,908 --> 00:18:26,842
I'm gonna miss you, Stewie.
382
00:18:26,910 --> 00:18:28,010
Good luck.
383
00:18:46,763 --> 00:18:48,864
You did it, Stewie.
384
00:18:48,932 --> 00:18:50,566
You did it.
385
00:19:04,948 --> 00:19:06,449
Uh... can I help you?
386
00:19:06,516 --> 00:19:08,083
Are you Brian Griffin?
387
00:19:08,151 --> 00:19:09,285
Yes.
388
00:19:09,352 --> 00:19:11,237
I'm-a from the Vatican,
and this is for you.
389
00:19:11,304 --> 00:19:12,471
What is it?
390
00:19:12,539 --> 00:19:14,323
The Vatican has been
holding this note for you
391
00:19:14,391 --> 00:19:16,225
for about 500 years.
392
00:19:16,293 --> 00:19:19,295
It was left to us by
Leonardo da Vinci himself,
393
00:19:19,362 --> 00:19:21,664
with instructions
that it be delivered
394
00:19:21,731 --> 00:19:26,685
to you on this exact-a
date at this exact-a time.
395
00:19:26,753 --> 00:19:28,571
Dear Brian,
396
00:19:28,638 --> 00:19:29,989
It's been a week
since you left,
397
00:19:30,056 --> 00:19:32,141
and I'm pretty sure I've set
things right.
398
00:19:32,209 --> 00:19:34,910
So I've built a cryogenic
stasis device,
399
00:19:34,978 --> 00:19:37,746
and am placing myself inside
it, leaving instructions for it
400
00:19:37,814 --> 00:19:39,181
to be buried
in very specific coordinates
401
00:19:39,249 --> 00:19:41,851
in what will be future Quahog.
402
00:19:41,918 --> 00:19:43,752
If everything goes according
to plan,
403
00:19:43,820 --> 00:19:45,788
I will have spent
the next 500 years
404
00:19:45,872 --> 00:19:47,623
buried beneath our basement.
405
00:19:47,707 --> 00:19:48,924
Oh, my God!
406
00:19:49,009 --> 00:19:52,077
A tip is-a customary!
407
00:20:16,152 --> 00:20:18,103
Stewie!
408
00:20:20,724 --> 00:20:22,958
Stewie! Stewie, you okay?!
409
00:20:23,026 --> 00:20:25,794
You gotta
kiss him to wake him up.
410
00:20:25,879 --> 00:20:27,463
What?
I'm not gonna kiss you.
411
00:20:27,531 --> 00:20:29,865
Stewie can't hear you.
He's not awake.
412
00:20:29,933 --> 00:20:31,400
Only a kiss will wake him up.
413
00:20:31,468 --> 00:20:32,918
Well, I better get Meg.
414
00:20:32,986 --> 00:20:34,920
Oh, oh, oh, where am I?
Wha...?
415
00:20:34,988 --> 00:20:36,422
Stewie, what the hell happened?!
416
00:20:36,473 --> 00:20:38,407
Oh, well, shortly
after you left,
417
00:20:38,475 --> 00:20:39,642
da Vinci's girlfriend
showed up,
418
00:20:39,709 --> 00:20:41,577
so I injected her
with my DNA.
419
00:20:41,645 --> 00:20:43,012
You had sex?
420
00:20:43,079 --> 00:20:45,114
No, I put my DNA
inside her.
421
00:20:45,181 --> 00:20:46,298
Right. You had sex.
422
00:20:46,366 --> 00:20:47,733
No, what are
you not getting?
423
00:20:47,801 --> 00:20:49,969
I put a sample of my
DNA in a syringe
424
00:20:50,036 --> 00:20:51,470
and I injected her
on the staircase,
425
00:20:51,538 --> 00:20:52,488
the couch and
the balcony.
426
00:20:52,572 --> 00:20:54,185
Well, whatever
the case, thank God.
427
00:20:54,390 --> 00:20:55,757
Yeah, I know. Oh, hey,
428
00:20:55,825 --> 00:20:57,813
I brought you something
from da Vinci's workshop.
429
00:20:58,956 --> 00:21:00,490
A candle?
I can get a candle now.
430
00:21:01,693 --> 00:21:03,561
You couldn't have grabbed me
one of his original notebooks?
431
00:21:04,097 --> 00:21:05,447
You know, I didn't have
to bring you back anything.
432
00:21:05,515 --> 00:21:07,699
It's almost like
you didn't.
433
00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:11,267
== Sync, corrected by elderman ==