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00:00:02,535 --> 00:00:05,766
It seems today that all you see
2
00:00:05,872 --> 00:00:09,205
Is violence in movies and sex on TV
3
00:00:09,309 --> 00:00:12,608
But where are those
good old-fashioned values
4
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On which we used to rely?
5
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Lucky there's a family guy
6
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Lucky there's a man who
Positively can do
7
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All the things that make us
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Laugh and cry
9
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He's a family guy
10
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Peter, thanks a lot
for having us out on your boat.
11
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- No problem.
- Peter, are you sure Santos and Pasqual...
12
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don't mind coming in on a Saturday
to serve us drinks?
13
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Are you kidding, Lois? They're Portuguese.
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Work is their cocaine.
Besides, look at them in their tuxedos.
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They look like little people.
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Hey, Meg. What's going on?
17
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What's going on? You having a good time?
18
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Yeah, no, I'm having a good time.
19
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Hey, what's going on?
20
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Listen, you're 17 now, right?
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I was just throwing it out there.
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I was thinking, you know,
if you ever want to...
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I don't know, screw around or something.
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Hey, Joe.
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So, you know, it's just something to mull
around in the old noggin.
26
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Damn. What is it about golf
that always brings out the worst in me?
27
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So, Annika Sorenstam,
you're quite the female golfer, aren't you?
28
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Yes, quite the female golfer.
29
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I knew it! Look! Everybody, look! Look!
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She's a fraud!
31
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All right, I caught a fish!
32
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Sorry about that, Loretta.
Hey, can I have my fish back?
33
00:01:50,276 --> 00:01:53,211
You're gonna have to reach
into the cookie jar.
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00:01:53,313 --> 00:01:57,215
Well, I can't just...
You're my best friend's wife.
35
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Reach into... All right!
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Yeah, you go in and get that.
Show that fishy who's boss.
37
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Loretta, they have some of that
three-bean salad you're so fond of.
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Hey, Quagmire.
39
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Well, we'll have to do this
again sometime.
40
00:02:11,831 --> 00:02:14,322
You name the time and the place,
little neck.
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00:02:22,041 --> 00:02:24,134
I've always loved charades.
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- Your turn, Joe.
- The category is Famous People.
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- Okay, guess who I am.
- Ironside!
44
00:02:29,048 --> 00:02:30,743
- Larry Flynt!
- Stephen Hawking!
45
00:02:30,850 --> 00:02:33,375
- Dr. Strangelove!
- Roy Campanella!
46
00:02:33,486 --> 00:02:35,249
- Richard Petty!
- Lance Armstrong!
47
00:02:35,355 --> 00:02:36,845
Neil Armstrong! Stretch Armstrong!
48
00:02:36,956 --> 00:02:38,996
Stretch Cunningham!
Howard Cunningham! Potsie Weber!
49
00:02:44,230 --> 00:02:46,494
Natalie Wood. Definitely Natalie Wood.
50
00:02:46,599 --> 00:02:49,534
- Somebody save him, he can't swim!
- He's not even kicking.
51
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- Kick, Joe, kick!
- Peter, he's a paraplegic.
52
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That doesn't mean he can't hear.
Kick, Joe, kick!
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Somebody help him!
54
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Gay!
55
00:03:08,288 --> 00:03:10,415
You were right, Peter.
It was Natalie Wood.
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00:03:15,828 --> 00:03:18,729
Lois, why the hell do we have to
take a stupid CPR class?
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00:03:18,831 --> 00:03:21,800
Because, Peter, none of us knew
what to do when Joe was drowning.
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Now, be quiet and pay attention.
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Hi, there. I'd like to welcome you all
to CPR.
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I see a lot of smiles here in this room.
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There's one. There's another.
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That's good.
63
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I see that soda up under your chair.
That's all right.
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Soda's all right on my watch.
We also got Oreos here and fresh coffee.
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Everybody likes a snack.
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00:03:46,159 --> 00:03:48,457
Now, who wants to go first?
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00:03:48,561 --> 00:03:51,121
No takers? Well, fine. I'll go first.
68
00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:52,664
Peter, why don't you volunteer?
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00:03:52,765 --> 00:03:55,393
No, I don't volunteer for anything
since I helped those guys...
70
00:03:55,501 --> 00:03:56,968
repaint the Sistine Chapel.
71
00:03:59,305 --> 00:04:03,503
Listen, I thought the stuff that was there
was kind of lame. So I put this up.
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00:04:03,610 --> 00:04:05,669
I figured Andre the Giant
would be a little hipper.
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00:04:05,778 --> 00:04:07,498
Get back some of those boys
you scared away.
74
00:04:07,714 --> 00:04:09,875
And that's pretty much all there is to it.
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It's hard, jagged, and tastes like alcohol.
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00:04:12,685 --> 00:04:14,983
Just like kissing Faye Dunaway.
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Easy now.
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00:04:18,224 --> 00:04:20,590
I can't believe we just did that.
79
00:04:20,693 --> 00:04:24,459
But, you know, that stuff about
spending the day together tomorrow...
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00:04:24,564 --> 00:04:26,657
I forgot. Actually, I have a thing.
81
00:04:26,766 --> 00:04:29,257
But, you know,
you have my e-mail address.
82
00:04:29,369 --> 00:04:32,031
So drop me a line. And
then I'll have yours.
83
00:04:32,138 --> 00:04:35,733
And we'll take it from there. So...
84
00:04:38,711 --> 00:04:40,110
Bellybutton.
85
00:04:40,446 --> 00:04:41,640
Well, I'll see you later.
86
00:04:42,015 --> 00:04:45,143
So, it's official.
Y'all are card-carrying lifesavers.
87
00:04:45,251 --> 00:04:47,481
Holy crap, a card with my name on it!
88
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I am now Peter Griffin, certified CPR.
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00:04:50,823 --> 00:04:52,848
Come on, Lois! I've got lives to save.
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00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:54,756
Thanks. Be safe.
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00:04:54,861 --> 00:04:56,920
Nobody had any of the coffee.
92
00:04:57,030 --> 00:05:00,932
Only a couple of Oreos gone.
I'm gonna take the rest home to the cats.
93
00:05:03,903 --> 00:05:05,863
Sorry, I was dialing the phone.
Are you all right?
94
00:05:05,938 --> 00:05:08,058
Don't worry about it.
Doesn't look like there's any...
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00:05:08,107 --> 00:05:10,667
Peter Griffin, certified CPR.
Don't anyone panic!
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00:05:11,611 --> 00:05:14,774
- What the hell are you doing?
- You know, I don't think he's hurt.
97
00:05:14,881 --> 00:05:17,543
I'll get to you in a moment, sir.
I'm gonna have to check...
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00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:18,878
and see if he soiled himself.
99
00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:21,180
- Sir? Sir?
- What the hell is wrong with you?
100
00:05:21,287 --> 00:05:23,732
- I've got to check if you've soiled yourself.
- Get off of me. Are you crazy?
101
00:05:23,756 --> 00:05:25,768
Sir? I'm gonna need you
to stop struggling, all right?
102
00:05:25,792 --> 00:05:26,935
- Leave him alone.
- I hurt my elbow!
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00:05:26,959 --> 00:05:29,271
- I've got to get these trousers off.
- Somebody call the cops!
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00:05:29,295 --> 00:05:32,321
- I gotta see if you soiled yourself.
- Nobody asked you to get involved!
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Get off him, you jackass!
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I'm gonna need you to step back. All right,
Looks like we're clean down here.
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You guys take it easy. No need to
thank me. Just pay it forward.
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- So they revoked your CPR card, huh?
- Yeah.
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This is worse than
when they took away my library card...
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for reading while intoxicated.
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Don't be ashamed of your hand,
Johnny Tremain.
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You still live in exciting times.
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Crap!
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Sir, do you know how loud
you were reading?
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00:05:56,255 --> 00:05:59,349
"The life of a silversmith's apprentice
was not an easy one!"
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I got to figure out some way
to get that card back.
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00:06:02,829 --> 00:06:04,387
You could always take the class again.
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I mean, I'm sure they'd give you
another card.
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- Hey, do you hear that?
- What?
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Sounds like someone screaming.
121
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What is it, boy?
What are you trying to say?
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It sounds like Loretta is screaming.
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- Trouble at the old mill?
- What are you, insane?
124
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- Somebody fall through the ice?
- It's summer.
125
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Bobcat?
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Loretta's in trouble? Come on, boy!
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Peter Griffin,
temporarily suspended CPR...
128
00:06:23,716 --> 00:06:26,685
- Holy crap!
- We should go.
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Boy, that was embarrassing, huh?
130
00:06:29,255 --> 00:06:31,280
Walking in on Loretta and Cleveland
having sex.
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- Peter, that wasn't...
- You know, for a large, heavyset...
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00:06:33,993 --> 00:06:36,033
black guy,
Cleveland's got a cute, little white ass.
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That wasn't Cleveland.
It was some white guy.
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- What was that?
- Shut up and put some more...
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00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:42,057
of that sugar in my bowl.
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Wait a minute. Brian? If that wasn't
Cleveland doing it with Loretta...
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00:06:49,942 --> 00:06:51,739
then Loretta's having an affair.
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We can't tell anyone about this.
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That is the last thing in the world
we want to do.
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What a day!
We've done everything in the world.
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00:06:58,684 --> 00:07:00,244
So I guess the only thing left to do...
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00:07:00,353 --> 00:07:02,331
is tell you that Loretta Brown
is having an affair.
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00:07:02,355 --> 00:07:03,754
- Good Lord!
- Oh, no!
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00:07:03,856 --> 00:07:05,016
Oh, God! I'm screwed.
145
00:07:05,124 --> 00:07:07,490
This is worse than that time
I had to fess up to the nation.
146
00:07:07,794 --> 00:07:11,787
My fellow Americans,
I have not been entirely truthful with you.
147
00:07:11,898 --> 00:07:14,128
I did ga-googity that girl.
148
00:07:14,233 --> 00:07:17,396
I ga-shmoigedied her ga-flavety
with my googus.
149
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And I am sorry.
150
00:07:18,971 --> 00:07:20,836
Yeah, any idea who it was, Peter?
151
00:07:20,940 --> 00:07:22,498
No, we didn't see his face.
152
00:07:22,975 --> 00:07:24,909
All we know is it's a skinny white guy...
153
00:07:25,011 --> 00:07:26,535
with a tattoo on his left butt cheek.
154
00:07:26,646 --> 00:07:29,774
Well, I better tell Cleveland.
I got a knack for delivering bad news.
155
00:07:29,916 --> 00:07:32,043
I don't know how to tell you this,
Mr. DeVanney.
156
00:07:32,151 --> 00:07:33,516
So I'll let these guys do it.
157
00:07:35,254 --> 00:07:37,119
You have AIDS Yes, you have AIDS
158
00:07:37,223 --> 00:07:40,283
I hate to tell you, boy, that you have AIDS
You've got the AIDS
159
00:07:40,393 --> 00:07:44,625
You may have caught it
when you stuck that filthy needle in here
160
00:07:44,730 --> 00:07:47,756
Or maybe all that unprotected sex
put you here
161
00:07:47,867 --> 00:07:51,030
It isn't clear
But what we're certain of is you have AIDS
162
00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:55,471
Yes, you have AIDS
Not HIV, but full-blown AIDS
163
00:07:57,210 --> 00:08:00,441
Be sure that you see
164
00:08:00,546 --> 00:08:05,279
That this is not HIV
165
00:08:06,919 --> 00:08:10,548
But full-blown AIDS
Not HIV, but really
166
00:08:10,656 --> 00:08:12,647
Full-blown AIDS
167
00:08:12,758 --> 00:08:16,558
I'm sorry
I wish it was something less serious.
168
00:08:16,996 --> 00:08:19,430
But it's AIDS
169
00:08:19,532 --> 00:08:24,265
You've got the AIDS
170
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So, listen, Cleveland.
171
00:08:31,277 --> 00:08:32,938
The reason I asked you out here...
172
00:08:33,045 --> 00:08:35,411
I've been wanting to talk to you
about something.
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In Superman II, what is the story
with that cellophane "S"...
174
00:08:39,151 --> 00:08:41,676
that Superman rips off his chest
and throws at the bad guy?
175
00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:45,456
Prepare to be destroyed, Superman!
176
00:08:49,462 --> 00:08:51,657
- What was that?
- Yeah, take that, you jerk.
177
00:08:51,764 --> 00:08:54,289
- That was a minor inconvenience.
- Yeah, well, that's the idea.
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00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:56,334
- Slowed you down.
- I'll say. Ow.
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00:08:56,435 --> 00:08:57,995
- Didn't see that coming, did you?
- No.
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00:08:58,070 --> 00:08:59,765
Yeah, well, you know, take that.
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00:08:59,972 --> 00:09:01,735
Which actually brings me
to my next point:
182
00:09:01,841 --> 00:09:04,241
- Your wife's cheating on you.
- What?
183
00:09:04,343 --> 00:09:07,471
Yeah, it's actually a pretty funny story,
true story.
184
00:09:07,580 --> 00:09:11,243
Brian and I walked into your house
and she was with some guy going...
185
00:09:11,417 --> 00:09:12,748
Bam, bam, bam.
186
00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:15,854
- Peter, maybe...
- Hang on, I'm not done.
187
00:09:15,988 --> 00:09:16,988
Bam, bam.
188
00:09:17,089 --> 00:09:20,547
And then she's all, "Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah."
189
00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:21,954
Bam, bam, bam.
190
00:09:22,094 --> 00:09:23,694
You want to take it
from here, Bamm-Bamm?
191
00:09:23,796 --> 00:09:25,229
Bam-bam, bam-bam.
192
00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:27,142
- You want to take it from here, Emeril?
- Bam!
193
00:09:27,166 --> 00:09:29,246
So that's what we're dealing with here.
Any thoughts?
194
00:09:31,470 --> 00:09:34,200
Loretta, is it true what they're saying?
195
00:09:34,307 --> 00:09:37,936
Were you really having carnal relations
with another gentleman?
196
00:09:38,044 --> 00:09:41,070
I'm a woman, Cleveland.
I need some passion in my life.
197
00:09:41,180 --> 00:09:44,343
I need a real man.
And Lord knows that ain't you.
198
00:09:44,450 --> 00:09:48,887
Well, I admit after a long day at work,
I don't always come home...
199
00:09:48,988 --> 00:09:53,357
with that "Riunite on ice,
that's nice" mentality.
200
00:09:53,459 --> 00:09:55,324
And for that, I apologize.
201
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:59,194
Apologize? I cheat on you
and you apologize to me?
202
00:09:59,298 --> 00:10:02,062
Cleveland Brown, you are pathetic!
203
00:10:02,168 --> 00:10:05,228
I disagree, but I respect your candor.
204
00:10:05,338 --> 00:10:07,033
Goodbye, Cleveland.
205
00:10:07,707 --> 00:10:08,707
I love you.
206
00:10:11,944 --> 00:10:13,172
Hi, Cleveland.
207
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:16,248
- Hey, what are you doing here?
- Loretta kicked me out.
208
00:10:16,349 --> 00:10:20,308
Cleveland, I am so sorry.
You can stay here as long as you like.
209
00:10:20,486 --> 00:10:21,976
Cleveland, sit down.
210
00:10:22,088 --> 00:10:26,252
I want to sing a little song
that kept me going when I had troubles.
211
00:10:31,597 --> 00:10:33,462
We were at the beach
212
00:10:34,266 --> 00:10:36,791
Everybody had matching towels
213
00:10:36,902 --> 00:10:39,234
Somebody went under a dock
214
00:10:39,338 --> 00:10:41,932
And there they saw a rock
215
00:10:42,041 --> 00:10:43,736
But it wasn't a rock
216
00:10:44,877 --> 00:10:47,277
It was a rock lobster
217
00:10:52,284 --> 00:10:53,751
Rock lobster
218
00:10:57,623 --> 00:10:59,090
Rock lobster
219
00:11:03,596 --> 00:11:05,791
Yeah, you're gonna be okay.
220
00:11:10,002 --> 00:11:13,096
Now, everybody, Cleveland's gonna be
staying with us for a few days.
221
00:11:13,205 --> 00:11:15,696
That's right, kids.
So just treat him like one of the family.
222
00:11:15,808 --> 00:11:19,972
You mean like Cousin Janine who we're
polite to but then mock her diabetes...
223
00:11:20,079 --> 00:11:21,706
on the drive home?
224
00:11:21,814 --> 00:11:23,372
She can't eat caramel.
225
00:11:24,550 --> 00:11:25,881
Exactly.
226
00:11:25,985 --> 00:11:27,680
Can I touch your hair?
227
00:11:27,787 --> 00:11:29,914
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna touch it.
228
00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:31,789
It's like a sheep!
229
00:11:33,893 --> 00:11:36,521
You know, Peter,
I'm a little worried about Cleveland.
230
00:11:36,662 --> 00:11:38,960
His wife cheated on him,
kicked him out of the house...
231
00:11:39,065 --> 00:11:40,575
and he doesn't seem at all affected by it.
232
00:11:40,599 --> 00:11:43,363
He's probably bottling up his emotions.
That's not good for you.
233
00:11:43,469 --> 00:11:46,802
Right. I almost got an ulcer
after you shelled out $200...
234
00:11:46,906 --> 00:11:48,840
for tickets to Crossing Over
with John Edward.
235
00:11:48,941 --> 00:11:51,466
I'm sensing an "A."
Does your name begin with an "A"?
236
00:11:51,577 --> 00:11:52,577
- No.
- A "B"?
237
00:11:52,678 --> 00:11:56,671
- No.
- C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P?
238
00:11:56,782 --> 00:11:59,114
- "P"! Peter! My name's Peter!
- Is your name Peter?
239
00:11:59,218 --> 00:12:01,584
Wow, you are some kind of sorcerer.
240
00:12:01,854 --> 00:12:05,346
What Cleveland really needs right now
is to learn how to express his feelings.
241
00:12:05,458 --> 00:12:08,120
Now, what he needs right now
is a revenge lay.
242
00:12:08,227 --> 00:12:10,525
And I know just who to talk to.
243
00:12:17,503 --> 00:12:20,472
- Oh, God!
- Sorry, guys. Let me throw something on.
244
00:12:23,542 --> 00:12:26,443
- Peter, look!
- Holy crap, that's the tattoo!
245
00:12:26,545 --> 00:12:29,514
Well, I think we're about to find out
who the culprit is.
246
00:12:29,615 --> 00:12:31,810
5-5-5-0-1-4-3.
247
00:12:31,951 --> 00:12:34,078
- Peter, I...
- Shut up, Brian! I'm sleuthing.
248
00:12:35,254 --> 00:12:36,380
- Hello?
- Quagmire?
249
00:12:36,489 --> 00:12:37,979
- Yeah.
- Hey, it's Peter.
250
00:12:38,090 --> 00:12:40,388
What's going on, buddy?
We're at your house.
251
00:12:40,493 --> 00:12:42,893
Peter, he's the one we saw
sleeping with Loretta!
252
00:12:42,995 --> 00:12:43,995
Oh, my God!
253
00:12:44,096 --> 00:12:45,474
Damn it, I knew this was gonna happen!
254
00:12:45,498 --> 00:12:47,693
I didn't mean it, you know?
I knew it was a mistake!
255
00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:49,825
It never felt right!
Please don't tell Cleveland!
256
00:12:49,935 --> 00:12:51,926
Well, all right, Quagmire.
257
00:12:52,037 --> 00:12:54,232
Cleveland, Quagmire's sleeping
with your wife!
258
00:12:54,340 --> 00:12:56,865
- What?
- Quagmire slept with Loretta?
259
00:12:57,009 --> 00:13:00,172
Oh, my God, Cleveland! I am so sorry.
260
00:13:00,279 --> 00:13:02,839
I can only imagine
what you must be feeling right now.
261
00:13:02,948 --> 00:13:04,006
It's okay.
262
00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:07,608
It's okay? It's okay to be betrayed
by your wife and best friend?
263
00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:11,850
Better it be Quagmire than someone
she could get a disease from.
264
00:13:11,957 --> 00:13:15,188
Cleveland, don't you see?
This is why your wife left you.
265
00:13:15,294 --> 00:13:17,091
You don't have any passion.
266
00:13:17,196 --> 00:13:19,994
Sometimes a woman wants to see
her man be a man.
267
00:13:20,099 --> 00:13:21,566
You got to push back a little!
268
00:13:21,667 --> 00:13:24,932
You got to get a little rough!
Oh, God! Peter, hit me!
269
00:13:25,037 --> 00:13:26,504
Yeah!
270
00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:32,274
Wow, so that's something,
about Quagmire and Loretta, huh?
271
00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:34,408
Cleveland, we got to get
your manhood back.
272
00:13:34,513 --> 00:13:35,957
Now, the first thing we're gonna do...
273
00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:38,211
is take you to a good, old-fashioned,
wrestling match.
274
00:13:40,786 --> 00:13:43,118
All right, Cleveland.
Nothing like a good smackdown...
275
00:13:43,222 --> 00:13:44,587
to get the testosterone going.
276
00:13:44,690 --> 00:13:48,786
I must be in Quahog
'cause all I see is a bunch of hicks!
277
00:13:48,894 --> 00:13:51,454
You take that back,
Macho Man Randy Savage!
278
00:13:51,564 --> 00:13:53,041
Doesn't he make you so mad you just...
279
00:13:53,065 --> 00:13:54,828
- want to go down there and hit him?
- No.
280
00:13:54,934 --> 00:13:56,511
Well, maybe not him
'cause he's kind of big.
281
00:13:56,535 --> 00:13:58,655
But don't you want to hit the guy
sitting next to you?
282
00:13:58,704 --> 00:14:00,115
Not him 'cause he's kind of big, too.
283
00:14:00,139 --> 00:14:01,697
But don't you want to hit his kid?
284
00:14:01,807 --> 00:14:04,503
Take that, Macho Man Randy Savage.
You jerk.
285
00:14:07,012 --> 00:14:10,948
All right, Cleveland. If this doesn't
light a fire in your belly, nothing will.
286
00:14:11,050 --> 00:14:14,178
Hey, look at me. I'm Quagmire.
I had sex with your wife.
287
00:14:17,089 --> 00:14:19,751
Those are so his mannerisms.
288
00:14:20,459 --> 00:14:23,257
- Peter, what the hell are you doing?
- I'm not Peter, I'm Quagmire.
289
00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:25,592
- And I'm doing you, Loretta.
- What the hell?
290
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:27,063
- You like that? Yeah.
- Hey!
291
00:14:27,166 --> 00:14:29,206
- Much better than Cleveland.
- Peter, knock it off!
292
00:14:29,235 --> 00:14:31,675
- Get you damn hands off me...
- You like it dirty, don't you?
293
00:14:31,737 --> 00:14:34,228
What the hell are you doing?
What is that in your pocket?
294
00:14:34,340 --> 00:14:36,968
- Lois! Somebody!
- Quagmire's got you. Yeah.
295
00:14:38,110 --> 00:14:41,602
Glenn Quagmire, you're dead!
296
00:14:54,426 --> 00:14:55,950
All right, calm down, Cleveland.
297
00:14:56,061 --> 00:14:58,586
I'm gonna kill Quagmire!
298
00:14:58,697 --> 00:15:01,825
Oh, God, you're hyperventilating!
Chris, get me a bag.
299
00:15:01,934 --> 00:15:04,698
Okay, Cleveland, breathe into the bag.
It'll calm you down.
300
00:15:04,803 --> 00:15:06,815
- Peter, I'm not sure that that's...
- Not now, Lois!
301
00:15:06,839 --> 00:15:09,569
Okay, Cleveland, Cleveland,
relax, relax, relax.
302
00:15:09,675 --> 00:15:10,937
Relax, relax.
303
00:15:11,110 --> 00:15:14,739
There you go. There you go. Okay.
304
00:15:14,847 --> 00:15:16,144
It's okay. It's okay.
305
00:15:16,248 --> 00:15:19,046
- It's all gonna be okay.
- Peter, you better do your CPR.
306
00:15:19,151 --> 00:15:22,120
There's no time. I got to go warn
Quagmire while I got the chance.
307
00:15:22,221 --> 00:15:23,950
Quick, to the Peter copter!
308
00:15:32,031 --> 00:15:34,295
Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, my God!
309
00:15:34,900 --> 00:15:37,130
- Peter, what the hell?
- Joe, get inside!
310
00:15:37,236 --> 00:15:40,171
- The blades are still spinning!
- Oh, my God, Peter! What is that thing?
311
00:15:40,272 --> 00:15:42,103
- Joe! Get inside!
- It's tearing up my yard!
312
00:15:42,207 --> 00:15:44,437
- Oh, my God!
- No!
313
00:15:48,213 --> 00:15:51,614
- Joe, I am sorry, buddy.
- It's okay. Look, it's okay.
314
00:15:51,717 --> 00:15:54,208
- Are you okay? You all right?
- It's okay. I'm fine.
315
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:55,981
- Everybody's fine.
- That was scary.
316
00:15:58,157 --> 00:16:00,421
- Peter, what are we doing here?
- Trust me, Quagmire.
317
00:16:00,526 --> 00:16:03,393
Cleveland will never think to look
for you at Mayor West's house.
318
00:16:03,495 --> 00:16:04,539
- Hey, there.
- How you doing?
319
00:16:04,563 --> 00:16:05,587
Good evening, gentlemen.
320
00:16:05,698 --> 00:16:07,938
Listen, Mayor West,
my friend Quagmire here's in trouble.
321
00:16:08,033 --> 00:16:11,969
- He needs a place to stay tonight.
- Say no more. I'll protect you, sir.
322
00:16:12,071 --> 00:16:16,064
It is my job. I only ask
that you do not feed my cat, Bootsie...
323
00:16:16,175 --> 00:16:18,473
as he's already eaten and might throw up.
324
00:16:22,514 --> 00:16:26,314
Well, Derwood, now you really are
the big man of the house.
325
00:16:26,418 --> 00:16:28,352
Mother, change him back.
326
00:16:29,421 --> 00:16:31,912
You know, Endora,
I'm getting a little sick of this crap.
327
00:16:32,157 --> 00:16:34,682
You ever seen one of these? Huh?
You know what this is? Huh?
328
00:16:34,793 --> 00:16:37,159
- No!
- Yeah, it's holy water. Huh? Yeah.
329
00:16:37,262 --> 00:16:39,423
Try it. How's that feel?
330
00:16:39,531 --> 00:16:40,589
You like that?
331
00:16:40,699 --> 00:16:42,257
Power of Christ compels you, bitch.
332
00:16:42,568 --> 00:16:44,126
I hate Bewitched.
333
00:16:46,071 --> 00:16:49,063
Hey, so that's a pretty
reasonable reaction, huh?
334
00:16:51,143 --> 00:16:54,635
It's all right to go to sleep, my friend.
I'll stand guard.
335
00:16:54,747 --> 00:16:56,009
Okay.
336
00:16:56,115 --> 00:16:59,710
Don't worry. I'll be here all night.
Just don't try to make me smile.
337
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:01,752
I'm forbidden to smile.
338
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:05,456
Oh, no.
339
00:17:05,557 --> 00:17:08,185
That episode of Growing Pains
when Mike's friend Boner...
340
00:17:08,293 --> 00:17:10,727
ran for student council.
341
00:17:10,829 --> 00:17:11,829
Boner.
342
00:17:11,930 --> 00:17:15,263
His name was Boner.
343
00:17:32,618 --> 00:17:35,382
- I've failed you.
- This is kind of creeping me out.
344
00:17:35,487 --> 00:17:37,614
- I'm gonna go.
- Take this, for protection.
345
00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:38,747
What the hell's this for?
346
00:17:38,857 --> 00:17:41,951
When the time comes, you'll know.
347
00:17:43,162 --> 00:17:45,960
I'll teach him to mess with my wife.
348
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:49,262
Hi, Cleveland.
Will you be joining us for dinner?
349
00:17:50,769 --> 00:17:53,567
- Okay, then.
- He's a Rocky machine!
350
00:17:54,339 --> 00:17:56,534
Peter, we have got to do something
about Cleveland.
351
00:17:56,642 --> 00:17:58,269
I think you created a monster.
352
00:17:58,377 --> 00:18:00,017
Well, there's only one thing to do, Lois.
353
00:18:00,045 --> 00:18:02,513
We've got to get
Loretta and Cleveland back together.
354
00:18:02,648 --> 00:18:06,049
And I know just how to do it.
To the Hinden-Peter!
355
00:18:12,324 --> 00:18:15,521
Oh, my God!
Joe, I am so sorry.
356
00:18:15,627 --> 00:18:17,595
How can you afford these things?
357
00:18:20,232 --> 00:18:23,724
Yeah, Cleveland, this is Quagmire.
Listen, I feel awful.
358
00:18:23,836 --> 00:18:25,413
Why don't you come on over and we can...
359
00:18:25,437 --> 00:18:27,382
try to get things back
to the way they used to be?
360
00:18:27,406 --> 00:18:28,430
Remember how it was?
361
00:18:28,540 --> 00:18:32,271
Perhaps here
there are many unsuspecting foxes...
362
00:18:32,377 --> 00:18:34,072
to have sex with us.
363
00:18:34,179 --> 00:18:38,582
That is why
we wear tight pants to show our bulges.
364
00:18:38,684 --> 00:18:42,518
- We are two wild and crazy guys!
- Two wild and crazy guys!
365
00:18:43,255 --> 00:18:44,586
You guys look stupid.
366
00:18:44,890 --> 00:18:46,949
Anyway, let's talk this thing through.
367
00:18:49,828 --> 00:18:52,092
Hey, Cleveland.
I was just leaving you a message.
368
00:18:52,197 --> 00:18:55,564
You violated the sanctity of my marriage.
369
00:19:09,348 --> 00:19:12,511
When the time comes, you'll know.
370
00:19:15,654 --> 00:19:16,654
Damn it!
371
00:19:21,493 --> 00:19:22,960
This is awful!
372
00:19:23,061 --> 00:19:25,256
Somebody stop them! Do something!
373
00:19:29,268 --> 00:19:33,261
Good. Let the hate flow through you.
374
00:19:33,372 --> 00:19:34,896
You're not helping!
375
00:19:36,208 --> 00:19:38,301
I can't.
376
00:19:38,410 --> 00:19:41,379
It isn't in me to cause harm to anyone.
377
00:19:41,480 --> 00:19:44,415
No matter how much
someone has harmed me.
378
00:19:44,516 --> 00:19:46,313
I'm sorry, Cleveland.
379
00:19:46,585 --> 00:19:50,043
Cleveland, I think this beautiful woman
would like to say something to you.
380
00:19:50,155 --> 00:19:52,453
You told me this was Lois' intervention.
381
00:19:52,558 --> 00:19:57,427
- Nice. Cleveland?
- Loretta, what you did was unforgivable.
382
00:19:57,529 --> 00:20:01,090
- This marriage is over.
- Well, that's just fine, Cleveland.
383
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,191
'Cause I am through being your wife.
384
00:20:03,302 --> 00:20:07,363
Well, I may not be perfect,
but I deserve better than you.
385
00:20:07,472 --> 00:20:08,564
Look at that, Lois.
386
00:20:08,674 --> 00:20:11,768
As beautiful as an HBO minority fairytale.
387
00:20:12,377 --> 00:20:14,436
But, Peter, their marriage is ending.
388
00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:15,979
Look at the bright side, Lois.
389
00:20:16,081 --> 00:20:19,050
It's a chance for a fresh start
for both Cleveland and...
390
00:20:20,652 --> 00:20:22,347
Oh, my God!
391
00:20:22,454 --> 00:20:23,716
What are you doing?
392
00:20:23,822 --> 00:20:26,154
- What's wrong with you?
- What the hell, man?
393
00:20:26,258 --> 00:20:27,835
- Hurts, doesn't it?
- What the hell... Yes!
394
00:20:27,859 --> 00:20:29,258
What the hell's your problem?
395
00:20:29,361 --> 00:20:31,329
- My friend? My friend?
- What?
396
00:20:31,430 --> 00:20:34,365
- You've been kicked in the...
- No way!
397
00:20:34,766 --> 00:20:37,894
- You're gonna be on TV.
- Oh, sweet!
398
00:20:38,003 --> 00:20:40,198
- Oh, my God.
- Wow! We love that show.
399
00:20:40,305 --> 00:20:42,671
- That is awesome. Hey, hi.
- You're on it.
400
00:20:42,774 --> 00:20:43,832
Oh, wow.
401
00:20:45,477 --> 00:20:50,210
Glenn, you sure you want to do this?
I already told you I forgive you.
402
00:20:50,315 --> 00:20:54,843
- No, I feel like I got off too easy.
- All right. If you insist.
403
00:20:54,953 --> 00:20:58,480
- You wanna ring the bell, Apollo?
- All right.
404
00:20:58,590 --> 00:21:00,217
Ding, ding.