1 00:00:00,473 --> 00:00:03,822 ♪ It seems today that all you see ♪ 2 00:00:03,922 --> 00:00:07,190 ♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪ 3 00:00:07,225 --> 00:00:10,760 ♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values ♪ 4 00:00:10,796 --> 00:00:13,763 ♪ On which we used to rely? ♪ 5 00:00:13,799 --> 00:00:17,267 ♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪ 6 00:00:17,302 --> 00:00:20,570 ♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪ 7 00:00:20,605 --> 00:00:22,138 ♪ All the things that make us ♪ 8 00:00:22,174 --> 00:00:23,506 ♪ Laugh and cry ♪ 9 00:00:23,542 --> 00:00:24,080 ♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪ 10 00:00:24,081 --> 00:00:28,081 ♪ Family Guy 14x10 ♪ Candy, Quahog Marshmallow Original Air Date on January 3, 2016 11 00:00:28,082 --> 00:00:34,082 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 12 00:00:34,086 --> 00:00:36,252 Where are you going? 13 00:00:36,288 --> 00:00:38,154 I'm going to Quagmire's to get some hand-me-downs. 14 00:00:38,190 --> 00:00:40,957 His dad-mom sent over some boxes of men's clothes 15 00:00:40,993 --> 00:00:43,360 from back before the ol' chippety-choppety. 16 00:00:43,395 --> 00:00:45,729 You shouldn't wear people's old, dirty clothes. 17 00:00:45,764 --> 00:00:47,163 Well, I'm a dirty guy, Lois. 18 00:00:47,199 --> 00:00:48,732 Haven't you ever seen my naughty, 19 00:00:48,767 --> 00:00:50,800 late-night, party-line commercials? 20 00:00:50,836 --> 00:00:53,003 Hey, are you lonely? 21 00:00:53,038 --> 00:00:55,739 Do you like to party with hot girls? 22 00:00:55,774 --> 00:00:59,209 What about horsing around with fat guys? 23 00:00:59,244 --> 00:01:00,844 Well, what are you waiting for? 24 00:01:00,879 --> 00:01:02,879 Give us a call. 25 00:01:02,914 --> 00:01:04,914 I'll be on the toilet, wearing a T-shirt 26 00:01:04,950 --> 00:01:06,916 that's so long I have to hold it 27 00:01:06,952 --> 00:01:09,419 under my chin while I wipe. 28 00:01:14,192 --> 00:01:17,427 Wow, your dad doesn't use this Dickie anymore? 29 00:01:17,462 --> 00:01:18,762 That's crazy. 30 00:01:18,797 --> 00:01:21,531 Why would anyone get rid of a perfectly good Dickie? 31 00:01:21,566 --> 00:01:23,600 I see what you're doing, and cut it out. 32 00:01:23,635 --> 00:01:25,201 Hey, what are these? 33 00:01:27,205 --> 00:01:29,506 Oh, my God, I haven't seen these in years! 34 00:01:29,541 --> 00:01:30,541 What do you got there? 35 00:01:30,575 --> 00:01:32,108 Some kind of home movie from the Orient? 36 00:01:32,144 --> 00:01:33,777 No, no, this is Winter Summer. 37 00:01:33,812 --> 00:01:35,845 It was a Korean soap opera that I was in. 38 00:01:35,881 --> 00:01:37,747 You were in a Korean soap opera? 39 00:01:37,783 --> 00:01:39,883 Yeah, back when the Navy had me stationed in Busan, 40 00:01:39,918 --> 00:01:42,218 I saw an ad in the paper for guys over five-foot-four, 41 00:01:42,254 --> 00:01:44,054 and I was the only one who showed up. 42 00:01:44,089 --> 00:01:45,488 Next thing I know, I'm on TV, 43 00:01:45,524 --> 00:01:47,457 playing a guy named American Johnny. 44 00:01:47,492 --> 00:01:49,559 Wow, I didn't even know you could act. 45 00:01:49,594 --> 00:01:51,528 You also didn't know I was a rock polisher. 46 00:01:51,563 --> 00:01:52,629 Take a look at that. 47 00:01:52,664 --> 00:01:54,130 Oh, my! What is that? 48 00:01:54,166 --> 00:01:55,498 That's tiger eye. 49 00:01:55,534 --> 00:01:57,767 Extraordinary. 50 00:02:34,439 --> 00:02:36,172 Holy crap, Quagmire, you speak Korean? 51 00:02:36,208 --> 00:02:37,474 Nah, not really. 52 00:02:37,509 --> 00:02:39,275 They just told me how to sound the words out phonetically. 53 00:02:39,311 --> 00:02:41,444 So you never knew what you were actually saying? 54 00:02:41,480 --> 00:02:43,613 No. In fact, at the height of the show, 55 00:02:43,648 --> 00:02:45,849 I did a whole pro-genital-mutilation PSA 56 00:02:45,884 --> 00:02:48,351 that I really regret. 57 00:02:48,386 --> 00:02:49,352 Wow, that girl's hot. 58 00:02:49,387 --> 00:02:50,353 That's a guy. 59 00:02:50,388 --> 00:02:51,354 That other guy's handsome. 60 00:02:51,389 --> 00:02:52,355 That's a girl. 61 00:02:52,390 --> 00:02:53,356 That cat is cute. 62 00:02:53,391 --> 00:02:54,357 That's a dog. 63 00:02:54,392 --> 00:02:56,259 What is everything?! 64 00:02:58,063 --> 00:03:00,263 Oh, my God, if Hee-Sun and Bong-Hwa 65 00:03:00,298 --> 00:03:02,499 don't get together, I'm gonna kill myself! 66 00:03:02,534 --> 00:03:03,666 You're crazy! 67 00:03:03,702 --> 00:03:05,335 Bong-Hwa is completely dishonorable! 68 00:03:05,370 --> 00:03:08,538 He brought a personal item to work! 69 00:03:23,822 --> 00:03:25,388 Oh, my God! No way! 70 00:03:25,423 --> 00:03:27,056 I told you! I told you! 71 00:03:27,092 --> 00:03:30,527 Wow, I guess he didn't die in the vending machine. 72 00:03:30,562 --> 00:03:32,562 ♪ ♪ 73 00:03:36,701 --> 00:03:37,701 What?! It's over?! 74 00:03:37,736 --> 00:03:39,235 Should we put in the next one? 75 00:03:39,271 --> 00:03:40,303 Of course we should. 76 00:03:40,338 --> 00:03:41,905 We are binge-watching this whole show. 77 00:03:41,940 --> 00:03:43,580 I mean, I haven't been this into something 78 00:03:43,608 --> 00:03:45,408 since The Shawshank Redemption. 79 00:03:45,443 --> 00:03:47,744 Yes, um, after you escaped into the hole, 80 00:03:47,779 --> 00:03:51,080 how did you perfectly re-attach the Raquel Welch poster 81 00:03:51,116 --> 00:03:53,183 from inside the hole with a tautness 82 00:03:53,218 --> 00:03:54,484 that a rock could pierce? 83 00:03:54,519 --> 00:03:55,785 Does it really matter? 84 00:03:55,820 --> 00:03:56,786 It does to me. 85 00:03:56,821 --> 00:03:58,288 Did you even like the movie? 86 00:03:58,323 --> 00:04:00,690 I did very much up until that point. 87 00:04:41,933 --> 00:04:44,901 ♪ ♪ 88 00:04:44,936 --> 00:04:46,336 Oh, my God! 89 00:04:46,371 --> 00:04:47,870 Quagmire, give me the last tape! 90 00:04:47,906 --> 00:04:49,606 Huh. Sorry, guys. 91 00:04:49,641 --> 00:04:51,040 There are no more tapes. 92 00:04:51,076 --> 00:04:53,042 What?! Where's the last one?! 93 00:04:53,078 --> 00:04:54,078 He's right. 94 00:04:54,112 --> 00:04:55,979 Oh, my God! What do we do?! 95 00:04:56,014 --> 00:04:57,280 Quagmire, tell us what happened! 96 00:04:57,315 --> 00:04:58,915 Did Hee-Sun live to have the baby?! 97 00:04:58,950 --> 00:05:01,517 Did Kim secure a position at the hydroelectric plant?! 98 00:05:01,553 --> 00:05:03,086 I don't know. I don't remember. 99 00:05:03,121 --> 00:05:04,721 How can you not remember? 100 00:05:04,756 --> 00:05:05,855 It was 20 years ago. 101 00:05:05,890 --> 00:05:06,956 We shot out of order. 102 00:05:06,992 --> 00:05:08,725 I-I never even knew what I was saying. 103 00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:10,526 I didn't care. I was living the life. 104 00:05:10,562 --> 00:05:12,895 Just banging chicks and eating cabbage, you know. 105 00:05:12,931 --> 00:05:15,231 Aw, crap, what do we do about our show? 106 00:05:15,267 --> 00:05:18,101 Now I know how that German movie producer felt. 107 00:05:18,136 --> 00:05:20,570 All right, Friedrich, now that World War Two is over, 108 00:05:20,605 --> 00:05:22,639 we can get back to making comedies again. 109 00:05:22,674 --> 00:05:24,741 Get me these comedy writers. 110 00:05:24,776 --> 00:05:27,777 Uh... I don't think any of these guys are available. 111 00:05:27,812 --> 00:05:29,078 What?! This is terrible! 112 00:05:29,114 --> 00:05:30,513 Get me my agent! 113 00:05:30,548 --> 00:05:33,349 He's, uh, he's probably not gonna answer either. 114 00:05:33,385 --> 00:05:35,051 Well, this is crazy! What happened...? 115 00:05:35,086 --> 00:05:37,920 Oh, I remember what happened. 116 00:05:41,826 --> 00:05:44,027 That episode's not online anywhere. 117 00:05:44,062 --> 00:05:46,896 I even tried the Korean search engine Bing Bong. 118 00:05:46,931 --> 00:05:48,431 That's not real. 119 00:05:48,466 --> 00:05:49,799 All right, it's not, but, Quagmire, 120 00:05:49,834 --> 00:05:50,900 we need that episode. 121 00:05:50,935 --> 00:05:52,435 We got to know what happened! 122 00:05:52,470 --> 00:05:54,237 Guys, I'm sorry, but it was years ago, 123 00:05:54,272 --> 00:05:56,105 and it never aired outside Korea. 124 00:05:56,141 --> 00:05:59,242 So... we go to Korea. 125 00:05:59,277 --> 00:06:00,510 Yes. Buying tickets. 126 00:06:00,545 --> 00:06:01,611 Come on, guys, 127 00:06:01,646 --> 00:06:03,646 it's just a dumb, forgotten TV show. 128 00:06:03,682 --> 00:06:06,382 Quagmire, we have to know how Winter Summer ends. 129 00:06:06,418 --> 00:06:08,618 This show is our whole life now. 130 00:06:08,653 --> 00:06:10,887 Yeah, if we don't find that tape, we're screwed. 131 00:06:10,922 --> 00:06:14,157 Like anybody who goes scuba diving with Dave Navarro. 132 00:06:38,049 --> 00:06:41,117 All right, gang, me and the guys are off to Korea to find 133 00:06:41,152 --> 00:06:44,153 the last episode of a soap opera Quagmire was in. 134 00:06:44,189 --> 00:06:45,688 Peter, this is ridiculous. 135 00:06:45,724 --> 00:06:47,657 Wh-What am I supposed to do if work calls? 136 00:06:47,692 --> 00:06:49,025 Just do what I do. 137 00:06:49,060 --> 00:06:51,861 Hold the phone up to any episode of Who's the Boss? 138 00:06:51,896 --> 00:06:53,162 Griffin, it's been four days. 139 00:06:53,198 --> 00:06:54,664 Why haven't you come to work? 140 00:06:54,699 --> 00:06:55,765 Angela? 141 00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:57,200 Of course it's me! 142 00:06:57,235 --> 00:06:59,402 You know, I've got half a mind to fire you. 143 00:06:59,437 --> 00:07:00,937 Angela. 144 00:07:00,972 --> 00:07:03,306 Oh, I can't stay mad at you. 145 00:07:03,341 --> 00:07:05,842 I'll see you when I see you. 146 00:07:05,877 --> 00:07:09,445 ♪ ♪ 147 00:07:24,562 --> 00:07:28,131 Man, Epcot nailed Asia. 148 00:07:28,166 --> 00:07:31,033 American Johnny! 149 00:07:36,775 --> 00:07:39,575 Holy crap, Quagmire, you're famous here! 150 00:07:39,611 --> 00:07:40,576 It's American Johnny! 151 00:07:40,612 --> 00:07:42,445 American Johnny is back! 152 00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:45,214 I take a picture with giant Samsung phone! 153 00:07:45,250 --> 00:07:48,818 Giant Samsung phone is also tiny Kia car! 154 00:08:00,174 --> 00:08:02,307 Welcome, American Johnny. 155 00:08:02,343 --> 00:08:04,710 We give only best room for you. 156 00:08:04,745 --> 00:08:06,945 Would you like smoking or chain smoking? 157 00:08:06,981 --> 00:08:09,181 Uh, smoking, I guess? 158 00:08:09,216 --> 00:08:11,083 Yes, and how many ridiculous things 159 00:08:11,118 --> 00:08:13,151 would you like your toilet to do? 160 00:08:13,187 --> 00:08:15,821 Do you have one that goes, "Yum-yum-yum-yum-yum"? 161 00:08:15,856 --> 00:08:18,390 Ah, presidential suite! 162 00:08:23,197 --> 00:08:25,063 Well, Donna's mother died. 163 00:08:25,099 --> 00:08:27,032 But we should probably head out to find 164 00:08:27,067 --> 00:08:29,034 the last episode of that Korean soap opera. 165 00:08:29,069 --> 00:08:30,402 Yeah. Where's Peter? 166 00:08:30,437 --> 00:08:32,170 Oh, he went to get plastic surgery. 167 00:08:32,206 --> 00:08:33,505 He did? 168 00:08:33,540 --> 00:08:35,540 Yeah, Korea's the plastic surgery capital of the world. 169 00:08:35,576 --> 00:08:37,476 Nobody here thinks you look good unless you have 170 00:08:37,511 --> 00:08:39,945 big, round eyes and a tiny little nose and chin. 171 00:08:39,980 --> 00:08:40,946 Hey, guys. 172 00:08:40,981 --> 00:08:42,447 Peter, are you all right?! 173 00:08:42,483 --> 00:08:43,916 You know what? I feel good. 174 00:08:43,951 --> 00:08:46,051 I feel like I want to giggle behind my hand 175 00:08:46,086 --> 00:08:48,387 at a lot of things and hold, but not eat, 176 00:08:48,422 --> 00:08:50,088 a big ice cream cone. 177 00:08:55,129 --> 00:08:57,162 There were more birds than videos in there. 178 00:08:57,197 --> 00:08:58,797 Yeah, and no sign of Winter Summer. 179 00:08:58,832 --> 00:09:00,265 Glenn? 180 00:09:00,301 --> 00:09:01,700 Glenn Quagmire? 181 00:09:03,137 --> 00:09:04,369 Sujin? 182 00:09:10,911 --> 00:09:12,277 It's Hee-Sun! 183 00:09:12,313 --> 00:09:13,313 From the show! 184 00:09:13,347 --> 00:09:14,347 I don't believe it. 185 00:09:14,381 --> 00:09:15,580 She's so beautiful. 186 00:09:15,616 --> 00:09:17,316 She's so beautiful! 187 00:09:17,351 --> 00:09:18,717 H-How did you find me? 188 00:09:18,752 --> 00:09:20,419 I heard that American Johnny was back, 189 00:09:20,454 --> 00:09:21,853 so I started following you 190 00:09:21,889 --> 00:09:24,656 on the new "Where American Johnny?" app. 191 00:09:24,692 --> 00:09:26,325 I already rich from that. 192 00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:28,293 Dance for me, Hilary Duff! 193 00:09:28,329 --> 00:09:29,795 ♪ ♪ 194 00:09:31,799 --> 00:09:33,532 Ah, it's so great to see you, Sujin. 195 00:09:33,567 --> 00:09:35,734 You look just as pretty as ever. 196 00:09:35,769 --> 00:09:38,971 I've waited every day hoping you would return. 197 00:09:39,006 --> 00:09:41,273 And I never stopped thinking of you. 198 00:09:42,309 --> 00:09:43,875 Were you guys... involved? 199 00:09:43,911 --> 00:09:45,143 We were, Peter. 200 00:09:45,179 --> 00:09:47,079 Korean O-M-G! 201 00:09:47,114 --> 00:09:48,747 Sujin, we actually came here to find 202 00:09:48,782 --> 00:09:50,248 the last episode of Winter Summer. 203 00:09:50,284 --> 00:09:51,516 Would you happen to have it? 204 00:09:51,552 --> 00:09:52,517 Of course. 205 00:09:52,553 --> 00:09:53,618 Can we see it? 206 00:09:53,654 --> 00:09:55,520 Why, yes. Tonight. 207 00:09:55,556 --> 00:09:57,723 Glenn, you and your friends must come to my home 208 00:09:57,758 --> 00:09:59,524 for gross Korean dinner. 209 00:09:59,560 --> 00:10:00,659 Man, look at them. 210 00:10:00,694 --> 00:10:02,094 They make such a cute couple. 211 00:10:02,129 --> 00:10:04,796 Like Pac-Man and Ms. Pac-Man. 212 00:10:14,141 --> 00:10:17,175 I'm so happy you all could make it tonight. 213 00:10:17,211 --> 00:10:19,578 We will have many things you will nibble at and not eat. 214 00:10:19,613 --> 00:10:21,013 Then I will give you a pizza. 215 00:10:21,048 --> 00:10:22,547 Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's great. 216 00:10:22,583 --> 00:10:25,017 Hey, can we watch that last episode of Winter Summer now? 217 00:10:25,052 --> 00:10:27,019 We will watch together after dinner. 218 00:10:27,054 --> 00:10:30,255 In the meantime, feel free to watch Korean pop videos. 219 00:10:43,237 --> 00:10:46,972 What is this, and how can I make the rest of my life about it? 220 00:10:47,007 --> 00:10:48,407 Dinner will be ready soon. 221 00:10:48,442 --> 00:10:50,842 But, Glenn, I have a surprise for you. 222 00:10:50,878 --> 00:10:52,511 Do you remember Buttercup? 223 00:10:52,546 --> 00:10:53,812 Who's Buttercup? 224 00:10:55,382 --> 00:10:58,216 Oh, my God, I can't believe Buttercup is still alive! 225 00:10:58,252 --> 00:11:00,252 Alive and well. 226 00:11:00,287 --> 00:11:02,687 Wait a minute, you named a cat Buttercup? 227 00:11:03,991 --> 00:11:05,857 Only Quagmire. 228 00:11:05,893 --> 00:11:08,060 And you know, Glenn, after you moved away, 229 00:11:08,095 --> 00:11:09,528 Buttercup had kittens. 230 00:11:09,563 --> 00:11:10,796 What? 231 00:11:10,831 --> 00:11:11,863 That's right. 232 00:11:11,899 --> 00:11:13,565 You're a grandfather. 233 00:11:14,968 --> 00:11:16,835 My God. 234 00:11:16,870 --> 00:11:19,938 This is more pussy than even I can handle. 235 00:11:19,973 --> 00:11:21,773 Is he gonna say "giggity"? 236 00:11:21,809 --> 00:11:23,275 Should I say "giggity"? 237 00:11:23,310 --> 00:11:26,044 Are other people allowed to say "giggity"? 238 00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:27,145 Giggity. 239 00:11:27,181 --> 00:11:28,146 What? 240 00:11:28,182 --> 00:11:30,115 Nothing. It's stupid. 241 00:11:35,189 --> 00:11:37,556 Ah, that was a great dinner, Sujin. 242 00:11:37,591 --> 00:11:38,957 I've missed you so much. 243 00:11:38,992 --> 00:11:41,626 I'd forgotten how happy we make each other. 244 00:11:41,662 --> 00:11:43,562 Okay, I'm done with this sweet rice water 245 00:11:43,597 --> 00:11:45,230 that has a pine nut floating in it. 246 00:11:45,265 --> 00:11:46,431 Nice dessert, by the way. 247 00:11:46,467 --> 00:11:47,632 Can we watch the thing now? 248 00:11:47,668 --> 00:11:49,134 Of course. Here it is-- 249 00:11:49,169 --> 00:11:52,070 the last episode of Winter Summer. 250 00:11:52,106 --> 00:11:53,106 Oh, my God! 251 00:11:53,140 --> 00:11:55,107 This is everything I've dreamed of. 252 00:11:55,142 --> 00:11:58,143 Well, this, and becoming a half-man, half-horse. 253 00:11:58,178 --> 00:12:00,078 Give up these legs? 254 00:12:00,114 --> 00:12:01,947 Don't be absurd. 255 00:12:30,811 --> 00:12:32,144 Why?! 256 00:12:32,179 --> 00:12:34,513 Why would American Johnny leave Korea? 257 00:12:34,548 --> 00:12:36,281 He had everything! 258 00:12:36,316 --> 00:12:38,150 Love! A family! 259 00:12:38,185 --> 00:12:39,885 Why would he go back to his sad, 260 00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:42,287 pathetic bachelor life in America?! 261 00:12:42,322 --> 00:12:43,989 He's got nothing there! 262 00:12:44,024 --> 00:12:46,691 Why would he ever want to go home?! 263 00:12:46,727 --> 00:12:48,326 Okay, Quagmire, let's go home. 264 00:12:48,362 --> 00:12:50,128 Well, you know what? 265 00:12:50,164 --> 00:12:51,730 You're right, Peter. 266 00:12:51,765 --> 00:12:53,698 American Johnny never should've left. 267 00:12:53,734 --> 00:12:56,101 It was the only time he was ever happy. 268 00:12:56,136 --> 00:12:57,569 What? What are you saying? 269 00:12:57,604 --> 00:13:00,505 Hey, Sin-ju, your TV says it's 21:00. 270 00:13:00,541 --> 00:13:02,340 What is that in real time? 271 00:13:02,376 --> 00:13:05,010 I'm saying I'm not going back to Quahog. 272 00:13:05,045 --> 00:13:06,178 What?! 273 00:13:06,213 --> 00:13:07,946 But we've-we've seen the last episode. 274 00:13:07,981 --> 00:13:09,648 We did what we came here to do. 275 00:13:09,683 --> 00:13:11,683 Peter, everything you just said is true. 276 00:13:11,718 --> 00:13:13,919 I don't have anyone waiting for me in Quahog. 277 00:13:13,954 --> 00:13:15,654 But here, I've got Sujin. 278 00:13:15,689 --> 00:13:18,056 I've got Buttercup and our grandcats. 279 00:13:18,091 --> 00:13:19,457 I've got a family. 280 00:13:19,493 --> 00:13:22,727 I'm not gonna make the same mistake American Johnny did. 281 00:13:22,763 --> 00:13:24,362 I'm staying here. 282 00:13:24,398 --> 00:13:27,899 Will Quagmire stay in Korea? 283 00:13:27,935 --> 00:13:30,101 Will Peter find a new friend? 284 00:13:30,137 --> 00:13:33,305 Find out after this Korean commercial Ashton Kutcher 285 00:13:33,340 --> 00:13:37,042 thought no one in America would ever see. 286 00:13:37,077 --> 00:13:39,077 Hi. I'm Ashton Kutcher. 287 00:13:39,112 --> 00:13:41,379 Have you ever killed a dog while driving drunk, 288 00:13:41,415 --> 00:13:44,649 and then been upset that there was no way for your car engine 289 00:13:44,685 --> 00:13:47,652 to cook it for you on the rest of the drive home? 290 00:13:47,688 --> 00:13:49,187 Well, those days are over, 291 00:13:49,223 --> 00:13:52,457 thanks to Dr. Lee's Pet Engine Cooking Bag. 292 00:13:52,492 --> 00:13:55,827 Just put the dog in the bag, place it over the engine block, 293 00:13:55,862 --> 00:13:58,096 and drive your usual 20 miles per hour 294 00:13:58,131 --> 00:13:59,464 over the speed limit. 295 00:14:01,568 --> 00:14:04,035 Mmm. Bow-wow! 296 00:14:04,071 --> 00:14:05,604 I'm Ashton Kutcher, and remember, 297 00:14:05,639 --> 00:14:08,006 Dr. Lee's Pet Engine Cooking Bags 298 00:14:08,041 --> 00:14:10,075 are not meant for babies. 299 00:14:10,110 --> 00:14:12,110 But they can be used for babies. 300 00:14:18,575 --> 00:14:20,208 Quagmire, you can't stay in Korea. 301 00:14:20,243 --> 00:14:22,611 We all got lives back in Quahog. 302 00:14:22,646 --> 00:14:24,613 That's just it, Peter-- you have lives. 303 00:14:24,648 --> 00:14:26,681 You guys all have wives and kids. 304 00:14:26,717 --> 00:14:29,050 And I have nothing waiting for me back there. 305 00:14:29,086 --> 00:14:31,319 But here, I have a family. 306 00:14:31,355 --> 00:14:33,221 Plus, commercial pilots around here can just 307 00:14:33,256 --> 00:14:35,590 fly their plane into the ocean if they want. 308 00:14:35,626 --> 00:14:37,158 Peter's right-- we can't just leave you here. 309 00:14:37,194 --> 00:14:39,094 Who am I gonna get all my wiener jokes from? 310 00:14:39,129 --> 00:14:40,595 You're my wiener guy. 311 00:14:40,631 --> 00:14:41,930 Joe, I got them from a book. 312 00:14:41,965 --> 00:14:43,598 I wish I didn't know that. 313 00:14:43,634 --> 00:14:45,967 Don't peek behind the curtain, huh? 314 00:14:46,003 --> 00:14:48,136 Sorry, guys, you're not gonna change my mind. 315 00:14:48,171 --> 00:14:51,573 I just feel like I belong here with Sujin. 316 00:14:54,044 --> 00:14:55,310 What are you gonna do? 317 00:14:55,345 --> 00:14:57,212 It's a powerful thing when a woman pays you 318 00:14:57,247 --> 00:14:59,280 even the slightest bit of attention. 319 00:14:59,316 --> 00:15:01,583 Yeah, God knows I've been there. 320 00:15:01,618 --> 00:15:02,684 Welcome to Chili's. 321 00:15:02,719 --> 00:15:04,119 We're through. 322 00:15:09,726 --> 00:15:12,160 Can't believe Quagmire isn't coming back with us. 323 00:15:12,195 --> 00:15:14,696 Donna's mother? It was suicide. 324 00:15:14,731 --> 00:15:17,198 You guys want to check out Brazil while we're out? 325 00:15:17,234 --> 00:15:20,001 We just got to accept that Quagmire has made his decision. 326 00:15:20,037 --> 00:15:21,870 There's nothing we can do about it. 327 00:15:21,905 --> 00:15:24,806 Yeah, I guess as far as Quagmire's concerned, 328 00:15:24,841 --> 00:15:26,775 he's totally Korean now. 329 00:15:41,792 --> 00:15:45,660 Guys, there's only one way to get through to a Korean. 330 00:15:45,696 --> 00:15:47,696 Through their music. 331 00:15:47,731 --> 00:15:49,264 Uh-huh. Yeah. 332 00:15:49,299 --> 00:15:51,299 We can try your thing. 333 00:15:55,772 --> 00:15:58,473 Eh, another show about a lizard. 334 00:15:58,508 --> 00:16:00,975 Quagmire, you're making a mistake. 335 00:16:01,011 --> 00:16:02,177 Quahog is where you belong. 336 00:16:02,212 --> 00:16:03,378 That's right. 337 00:16:03,413 --> 00:16:05,013 And if you won't listen to us, 338 00:16:05,048 --> 00:16:07,015 maybe you'll listen to, um... us. 339 00:16:07,050 --> 00:16:08,983 But singing. 340 00:16:12,389 --> 00:16:13,988 Quagmire! 341 00:16:15,625 --> 00:16:16,858 Quagmire! 342 00:16:16,893 --> 00:16:18,727 ♪ Heh-heh heh-heh-heh ♪ 343 00:16:18,762 --> 00:16:21,329 ♪ Ooo! ♪ 344 00:16:21,364 --> 00:16:24,899 ♪ Your new romance has you lost in an Asian trance ♪ 345 00:16:24,935 --> 00:16:28,369 ♪ So we're breakin' the spell with a K-pop dance ♪ 346 00:16:28,405 --> 00:16:30,371 ♪ Ooo-oo-oo-oo-hoo ♪ 347 00:16:30,407 --> 00:16:34,442 ♪ In our booty pants ♪ ♪ Ooo-oo-oo-oo-hoo ♪ 348 00:16:34,478 --> 00:16:38,213 ♪ Everything in this land is complete nonsense ♪ 349 00:16:38,248 --> 00:16:41,082 ♪ Even worse, Kim Jong-un lives across that fence ♪ 350 00:16:41,118 --> 00:16:43,118 ♪ Ooo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo ♪ 351 00:16:43,153 --> 00:16:45,120 ♪ Come home, where you belong ♪ 352 00:16:45,155 --> 00:16:46,387 ♪ Quahog is your home ♪ 353 00:16:46,423 --> 00:16:48,056 ♪ Quagmire ♪ 354 00:16:48,091 --> 00:16:51,392 ♪ Who wants to live in Korea? ♪ ♪ Come home ♪ 355 00:16:51,428 --> 00:16:54,629 ♪ Their name sounds like gonorrhea ♪ ♪ Quahog ♪ 356 00:16:54,664 --> 00:16:57,565 ♪ So, Quagmire, please tell 'em see ya ♪ 357 00:16:57,601 --> 00:17:00,301 ♪ Come on, come on, come on home, Quahog is your home ♪ 358 00:17:00,337 --> 00:17:02,804 ♪ Boy ♪ 359 00:17:02,839 --> 00:17:04,472 ♪ Whiskey, steaks and giant bongs ♪ 360 00:17:04,508 --> 00:17:06,074 ♪ Ricki Lake and Howie Long ♪ 361 00:17:06,109 --> 00:17:07,742 ♪ Giant boobies, firm and strong ♪ 362 00:17:07,778 --> 00:17:11,813 ♪ Not here, only in the U.S.A., hey ♪ 363 00:17:11,848 --> 00:17:14,649 ♪ Come on home today ♪ ♪ Ooo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo ♪ 364 00:17:15,952 --> 00:17:17,819 Confusing dance break! 365 00:17:20,524 --> 00:17:22,490 Random names of snacks now! 366 00:17:22,526 --> 00:17:24,926 Candy! 367 00:17:24,961 --> 00:17:26,261 Quahog! 368 00:17:26,296 --> 00:17:28,329 Marshmallow! 369 00:17:28,365 --> 00:17:30,331 Candy! Quahog! Marshmallow! 370 00:17:32,702 --> 00:17:34,235 ♪ You only belong in Quahog ♪ 371 00:17:34,271 --> 00:17:36,104 ♪ Come home ♪ 372 00:17:36,139 --> 00:17:39,340 ♪ You really love pussy, they eat dog ♪ 373 00:17:39,376 --> 00:17:42,277 ♪ So, buddy, please run, don't jog and ♪ 374 00:17:42,312 --> 00:17:43,845 ♪ Come on, come on, come on home ♪ 375 00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:45,580 ♪ Quahog is your home ♪ ♪ Boy ♪ 376 00:17:45,615 --> 00:17:49,284 ♪ Heh-heh-heh-heh, heh-heh-heh, ooo! ♪ 377 00:17:52,355 --> 00:17:54,622 ♪ Heh-heh-heh, heh-heh-heh-heh ♪ 378 00:17:54,658 --> 00:17:55,690 ♪ Ooo! ♪ 379 00:17:59,396 --> 00:18:00,595 Sorry, guys. 380 00:18:00,630 --> 00:18:02,831 I know those New York Giants jerseys weren't cheap, 381 00:18:02,866 --> 00:18:05,200 but I'm staying here, and that's final. 382 00:18:12,576 --> 00:18:16,511 Well, I pressed our matching beige pantsuits for tomorrow. 383 00:18:16,546 --> 00:18:18,379 Good night. 384 00:18:21,885 --> 00:18:22,851 Who's that?! 385 00:18:22,886 --> 00:18:24,219 This is my grandfather. 386 00:18:24,254 --> 00:18:26,888 He is going to live with us, in the Asian tradition. 387 00:18:26,923 --> 00:18:29,858 So will the rest of my aunts, uncles and cousins. 388 00:18:31,228 --> 00:18:32,493 They will? 389 00:18:32,529 --> 00:18:33,529 Of course. 390 00:18:33,563 --> 00:18:35,496 And have you met Great-Grandma? 391 00:18:35,532 --> 00:18:37,165 I can see through her! 392 00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:38,900 I-Is she a ghost? 393 00:18:38,935 --> 00:18:39,935 We don't know. 394 00:18:39,970 --> 00:18:41,402 She won't answer. 395 00:18:41,438 --> 00:18:44,539 Tomorrow, you take her to town to buy root vegetable. 396 00:18:44,574 --> 00:18:46,708 After that, you will get psychopath haircut 397 00:18:46,743 --> 00:18:48,910 so you look like one of us. 398 00:18:50,113 --> 00:18:51,246 What's the matter, Glenn? 399 00:18:51,281 --> 00:18:53,481 You don't seem completely emotionless. 400 00:18:53,516 --> 00:18:55,183 No, no, no, no, I am, I am. 401 00:18:55,218 --> 00:18:56,384 I'm emotionless. 402 00:18:56,419 --> 00:18:58,152 Good night, Glenn. 403 00:18:58,188 --> 00:19:00,421 Oh, and just so you know, 404 00:19:00,457 --> 00:19:04,158 three of my cousins have night terrors. 405 00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:12,066 Oh, no! 406 00:19:18,174 --> 00:19:20,541 It's crazy we're going home without Quagmire. 407 00:19:20,577 --> 00:19:22,510 What are we gonna do without him? 408 00:19:22,545 --> 00:19:25,280 Rent his house to a sorority, enjoy the babes? 409 00:19:25,315 --> 00:19:26,915 Huh. 410 00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:31,853 Good-bye, Quagmire. 411 00:19:31,888 --> 00:19:34,289 We're gonna miss you, buddy. 412 00:19:35,325 --> 00:19:37,225 Guys, wait! 413 00:19:38,261 --> 00:19:41,396 ♪ Who wants to live in Korea? ♪ 414 00:19:41,431 --> 00:19:44,732 ♪ Their name sounds like gonorrhea ♪ 415 00:19:44,768 --> 00:19:46,267 Candy! 416 00:19:46,303 --> 00:19:48,236 Quahog! 417 00:19:48,271 --> 00:19:50,371 Marshmallow! 418 00:19:50,407 --> 00:19:52,507 Candy! Quahog! Marshmallow! 419 00:19:54,511 --> 00:19:56,344 What I'm trying to say is... 420 00:19:56,379 --> 00:19:58,846 guys, I'm coming back to Quahog with you. 421 00:19:58,882 --> 00:19:59,981 You are? 422 00:20:00,016 --> 00:20:01,249 Oh, that's great! 423 00:20:01,284 --> 00:20:02,717 But wait, won't that upset Sujin 424 00:20:02,752 --> 00:20:04,385 and your new Korean family? 425 00:20:04,421 --> 00:20:05,421 What, are you kidding? 426 00:20:05,455 --> 00:20:06,821 They all got to be in a K-pop song. 427 00:20:06,856 --> 00:20:08,056 That's all anyone here wants. 428 00:20:08,091 --> 00:20:09,924 Look, Great-Grandma is so happy, 429 00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:11,960 she finally died and became a ghost. 430 00:20:20,170 --> 00:20:22,470 Thanks again for convincing me to come home, guys. 431 00:20:22,505 --> 00:20:24,105 No problem, Quagmire. 432 00:20:24,140 --> 00:20:26,841 Looks like Donna's mother's funeral went well. 433 00:20:26,876 --> 00:20:30,745 Odd choice to have an open casket for a gunshot suicide. 434 00:20:30,780 --> 00:20:32,180 Yep, I thought I wanted a family, 435 00:20:32,215 --> 00:20:34,482 but I love having no responsibilities here. 436 00:20:34,517 --> 00:20:36,551 I can get drunk whenever, sleep with anyone, 437 00:20:36,586 --> 00:20:38,186 and just hide in my house 438 00:20:38,221 --> 00:20:40,054 and avoid the world if I feel like it. 439 00:20:40,090 --> 00:20:42,223 Wow, that's great, and totally doesn't sound 440 00:20:42,258 --> 00:20:44,659 like symptoms of clinical depression. 441 00:20:44,694 --> 00:20:47,061 I heard you gentleman went to South Korea. 442 00:20:47,097 --> 00:20:48,062 Yeah. 443 00:20:48,098 --> 00:20:49,130 Well, that's cool. 444 00:20:49,165 --> 00:20:51,407 We went to Lake Havasu, you losers! 445 00:20:51,507 --> 00:20:54,199 We nabbed so much college beav! 446 00:20:55,106 --> 00:21:01,606 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man