1 00:00:02,535 --> 00:00:05,561 It seems today that all you see 2 00:00:05,939 --> 00:00:09,170 Is violence in movies and sex on TV 3 00:00:09,309 --> 00:00:12,710 But where are those good old-fashioned values 4 00:00:12,946 --> 00:00:15,471 On which we used to rely? 5 00:00:15,949 --> 00:00:18,645 Lucky there's a family guy 6 00:00:19,219 --> 00:00:22,586 Lucky there's a man who Positively can do 7 00:00:22,722 --> 00:00:24,155 All the things that make us 8 00:00:24,257 --> 00:00:25,918 Laugh and cry 9 00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:30,690 He's a family guy 10 00:00:35,201 --> 00:00:37,101 On the next ePisode ofDeadwood. 11 00:00:37,971 --> 00:00:40,201 - Anything yet? - No, you? 12 00:00:40,373 --> 00:00:41,373 NoPe. 13 00:00:41,474 --> 00:00:42,474 Next Deadwood. 14 00:00:43,443 --> 00:00:45,308 Chris, what're you all dressed up for? 15 00:00:45,412 --> 00:00:49,508 These are my back-to-school clothes. I start high school tomorrow. 16 00:00:49,616 --> 00:00:52,779 Oh, boy. You better watch out for the Freshman Hunt. 17 00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:56,913 Yeah. That's where seniors hunt down freshmen and nail them with paddles. 18 00:00:57,023 --> 00:01:00,390 Man, remember how much that was, beating those freshmen silly? 19 00:01:01,294 --> 00:01:02,294 Oh, yeah. 20 00:01:02,395 --> 00:01:04,295 You're not serious, are you? 21 00:01:04,397 --> 00:01:08,128 Chris, I'm just as serious as I was when I saw Paul Reiser do standup. 22 00:01:08,468 --> 00:01:12,165 What's the deal with airline food? I mean, is this stuff bad or what? 23 00:01:12,272 --> 00:01:14,467 Well, that's not nice. Those chefs work really hard. 24 00:01:14,607 --> 00:01:17,542 And what's with those Starbucks, huh? They're everywhere. 25 00:01:18,144 --> 00:01:19,771 Lot of people want coffee. 26 00:01:19,879 --> 00:01:23,144 It's supply and demand. It's the foundation of our entire economy, Paul. 27 00:01:23,483 --> 00:01:27,351 And who do I talk to about those long lines at the ATM? 28 00:01:27,454 --> 00:01:28,546 That's what I want to know. 29 00:01:29,155 --> 00:01:30,713 Not me, Mr. Reiser. 30 00:01:30,824 --> 00:01:33,315 Someone who has time to fritter away, but not me. 31 00:01:34,394 --> 00:01:37,557 Peter, what're you doing? You've been out of work forever. 32 00:01:37,664 --> 00:01:40,565 You promised me you were going out to look for a job today. 33 00:01:40,667 --> 00:01:43,192 Oh, okay. I'll go look for a job, Lois. 34 00:01:43,837 --> 00:01:46,567 What is this? The latest Redbook. 35 00:01:49,909 --> 00:01:51,137 Is she gone? 36 00:01:51,311 --> 00:01:52,710 Them and their squabbling. 37 00:01:52,812 --> 00:01:55,372 Although I suppose they're not the first couple to have problems. 38 00:01:57,217 --> 00:01:59,276 - Did you have a nice day? - It was okay. 39 00:02:00,086 --> 00:02:02,748 You know, our son got into your closet today. 40 00:02:03,823 --> 00:02:04,847 Okay. 41 00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:08,587 Anything... Anything in there, maybe you wouldn't have wanted him to see? 42 00:02:09,062 --> 00:02:10,062 No. 43 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:13,293 Really? You don't have any dirty pictures in there? 44 00:02:13,566 --> 00:02:14,566 No. 45 00:02:15,001 --> 00:02:17,595 Then how do you explain these? 46 00:02:18,104 --> 00:02:21,733 - So what? So, I have some paintings. - Is this how you want me to look? 47 00:02:21,841 --> 00:02:23,832 Come on, Karen. Do you hate your body so much... 48 00:02:23,943 --> 00:02:26,776 you have to reduce every painting of the female form to pornography? 49 00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:28,814 Don't you do that. Don't make this my fault. 50 00:02:28,915 --> 00:02:31,227 It is your fault. I just want to come home and have dinner. 51 00:02:31,251 --> 00:02:34,550 And have my wife say, "Hello, how was your day?" That's impossible for you. 52 00:02:34,721 --> 00:02:36,098 - You know what this is about? - What? 53 00:02:36,122 --> 00:02:39,956 This is about your disrespect for me, this family and everything we stand for. 54 00:02:40,059 --> 00:02:42,289 What do we stand for? Who are we, the Goracks now? 55 00:02:42,395 --> 00:02:43,635 Suddenly you're Cynthia Gorack. 56 00:02:43,663 --> 00:02:46,154 That's what you want, isn't it? You want to be Cynthia Gorack. 57 00:02:46,266 --> 00:02:50,168 You know what, at least Cynthia Gorack's husband cares about her family. 58 00:02:50,370 --> 00:02:52,304 I can't even talk to you when you're like this. 59 00:02:52,405 --> 00:02:55,499 Okay. It's over now because you say it is. Way to go, Karen. 60 00:02:55,608 --> 00:02:58,372 You solve all our problems by just walking away! 61 00:02:58,478 --> 00:03:00,469 And it's so obvious I don't care about the family. 62 00:03:00,580 --> 00:03:03,174 I just killed a 700-pound tiger with a stick and a rock! 63 00:03:03,283 --> 00:03:04,682 That doesn't make you a man, Gary. 64 00:03:04,784 --> 00:03:07,514 Here we go. Here's act two of the performance. 65 00:03:07,754 --> 00:03:10,188 Karen pretends to leave home for the 20th time. 66 00:03:10,290 --> 00:03:14,090 You know what, Karen. Go! I'm not going to stop you. Just go! 67 00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:16,788 - Get out! Get the hell out! - Screw you, Gary! 68 00:03:16,896 --> 00:03:20,354 Yeah, if you did that more often, maybe I wouldn't need these paintings! 69 00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:22,531 What the hell you looking at? 70 00:03:24,270 --> 00:03:26,738 I say, anybody listen to Howard Stern this morning? 71 00:03:26,839 --> 00:03:29,865 He had some strippers in the studio. They sounded hot. 72 00:03:30,109 --> 00:03:33,670 Then he made a joke about a negro. But Robin laughed, so it was okay. 73 00:03:36,082 --> 00:03:38,380 I think I'm coming down with something. 74 00:03:38,484 --> 00:03:39,484 Chris, relax. 75 00:03:39,586 --> 00:03:43,750 The Freshman Hunt doesn't really exist. It's just a myth to scare freshmen. 76 00:03:43,856 --> 00:03:46,290 Really? Oh boy, that's a relief. 77 00:03:46,392 --> 00:03:48,383 Now have a good day at school, sweetie. 78 00:03:51,197 --> 00:03:52,858 Freshman! 79 00:03:57,770 --> 00:03:58,770 Help me! 80 00:04:02,308 --> 00:04:03,798 Freshman. 81 00:04:09,282 --> 00:04:11,842 I got you, you freshman. 82 00:04:11,951 --> 00:04:16,285 I'm going to teach you the lesson that it is not okay to be a freshman. 83 00:04:34,507 --> 00:04:37,772 All right, Mr. Griffin. Jobs you think you would be suited for. 84 00:04:37,877 --> 00:04:41,176 Let's see what you wrote. "Cowboy, astronaut... 85 00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:45,247 "warlock, more powerful astronaut, beer expert." 86 00:04:45,351 --> 00:04:47,945 Yeah. And I need something that pays more than my last job as... 87 00:04:48,054 --> 00:04:49,578 Sandy Duncan's glass eye. 88 00:04:50,757 --> 00:04:53,590 Hey Sandy. Sandy? What? 89 00:04:53,693 --> 00:04:56,628 - What're you buying? - Some breakfast cereal. 90 00:04:56,729 --> 00:04:59,664 No, don't get that. That's a bad cereal. Get some of the Boo Berry. 91 00:05:00,633 --> 00:05:03,124 Turns out there's a job opening at the Pawtucket Brewery. 92 00:05:03,269 --> 00:05:06,864 Wow, that sounds even better than when I got paid to take part in that study. 93 00:05:07,707 --> 00:05:10,369 The only one who couldn't finish the puzzle is the fat one. 94 00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:13,874 I'm sorry. I can't see what you're going for here. Let me look at... 95 00:05:14,013 --> 00:05:16,345 Oh, it's a jar of preserves. Oh. 96 00:05:17,483 --> 00:05:19,678 Yeah, I guess that's what all the red pieces were. 97 00:05:23,056 --> 00:05:25,149 Hey, Chris, was school any better today? 98 00:05:25,258 --> 00:05:28,022 No, I hate it. I never want to go back! 99 00:05:28,127 --> 00:05:31,688 Oh, come on, it'll get better. You just have to find your place. 100 00:05:31,831 --> 00:05:33,992 Let's go, Stewie. Time to change your diaper. 101 00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:36,091 I'm not worried about high school at all. 102 00:05:36,202 --> 00:05:37,226 Worst-case scenario... 103 00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:40,329 I'll carve out a niche as the effeminate male friend of the popular girls. 104 00:05:40,707 --> 00:05:42,800 Okay, tonight's my OC party. 105 00:05:42,975 --> 00:05:46,775 I got a case of wine coolers, so we can drink every time Ryan seethes. 106 00:05:46,879 --> 00:05:48,938 - Cool, I'd love to come. - Me too. 107 00:05:49,048 --> 00:05:50,515 How'd you get the wine coolers? 108 00:05:50,616 --> 00:05:53,346 Oh, it's... I just did some stuff for a guy in the parking lot. 109 00:05:53,453 --> 00:05:54,920 Does anyone have any Scope? 110 00:05:55,154 --> 00:05:58,351 I don't care what she says. I'm never going back! 111 00:05:58,458 --> 00:06:00,722 Look, you can't run away from your problems, Chris. 112 00:06:00,827 --> 00:06:02,089 That's what I tried to do. 113 00:06:02,261 --> 00:06:05,253 I joined the Peace Corps and a day later, I was two continents away. 114 00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:06,365 - Really? - Yup. 115 00:06:06,566 --> 00:06:09,296 But 6,000 miles and all the dope I could smoke... 116 00:06:09,402 --> 00:06:11,302 still couldn't separate me from my problems. 117 00:06:11,671 --> 00:06:14,572 And this was good dope. I mean, it was growing everywhere. 118 00:06:14,674 --> 00:06:17,643 Oh, my God. This one time, we got so baked... 119 00:06:17,744 --> 00:06:20,645 we ended up eating all the food the World Health Organization... 120 00:06:20,747 --> 00:06:24,239 had airlifted in. Man, those villagers were so pissed. 121 00:06:24,684 --> 00:06:27,653 They tried to chase us, but let me just say, thank God for polio. 122 00:06:27,787 --> 00:06:29,220 Anyway, my point is that... 123 00:06:30,590 --> 00:06:34,617 Is Peter here? I want to re-hire him. My new eye isn't working out. 124 00:06:34,727 --> 00:06:36,354 Hey, Wheat Thins! Take your top off. 125 00:06:41,734 --> 00:06:45,431 I like Pancakes, I like Pancakes They make me a haPPy Peter 126 00:06:45,538 --> 00:06:47,438 I am haPPy, I am haPPy 127 00:06:48,741 --> 00:06:50,208 Peter, you seem happy this morning. 128 00:06:50,309 --> 00:06:52,402 You bet. I'm starting my new job at the brewery. 129 00:06:52,512 --> 00:06:55,777 Finally, I'm one of those guys who can't wait to get to work in the morning. 130 00:06:55,882 --> 00:06:57,008 Like a dairy cow. 131 00:07:00,853 --> 00:07:02,320 Oh, yes! 132 00:07:02,855 --> 00:07:04,482 Yes! 133 00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:09,888 Peter, I just found this note in Chris' room. 134 00:07:09,996 --> 00:07:13,397 - He ran away to join the Peace Corps. - Oh, my God! Give me that! 135 00:07:13,566 --> 00:07:14,566 No, that. 136 00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:27,803 I'm bored with it now! 137 00:07:27,914 --> 00:07:30,439 Peter, Chris ran off to South America. 138 00:07:30,550 --> 00:07:32,528 Well, where the hell would he get an idea like that? 139 00:07:32,552 --> 00:07:36,044 Wait a second. Don't we know someone who was in the Peace Corps? 140 00:07:36,155 --> 00:07:39,022 Yeah, who was that? Was that Beau Bridges? 141 00:07:39,358 --> 00:07:41,622 - Do we know Beau Bridges? - No, we don't. 142 00:07:41,727 --> 00:07:44,560 I am positive we know somebody who was in the Peace Corps. 143 00:07:44,664 --> 00:07:46,791 Look, it's me, all right. He got the idea from me. 144 00:07:46,899 --> 00:07:49,493 Brian, what the hell is wrong with you? 145 00:07:49,602 --> 00:07:50,642 I didn't do it on purpose. 146 00:07:50,703 --> 00:07:53,399 And before you fly off the handle, you may want to think about it. 147 00:07:53,506 --> 00:07:55,746 The kid's obviously confused. This might be good for him. 148 00:07:55,808 --> 00:07:57,742 People do crazy things when they're confused. 149 00:07:57,844 --> 00:08:00,108 Like the time my agent dropped that bomb on me. 150 00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:03,614 - No one in this town will hire you. - Oh, yeah? 151 00:08:19,732 --> 00:08:22,565 Taxi. Taxi. Taxi! 152 00:08:26,138 --> 00:08:28,419 All right, Chris. We're approaching your assigned village. 153 00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,908 Tell the people to work together and drink clean water. 154 00:08:31,010 --> 00:08:34,502 And by the way, the word "colored" still flies down there. So, get your fill. 155 00:08:41,787 --> 00:08:44,847 Hello, I am Chief Oleki. Welcome to my village. 156 00:08:44,957 --> 00:08:49,087 Our air is clean. Our food is bountiful and our water is caffeine-free. 157 00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:51,993 Never had it. Never will. 158 00:08:52,231 --> 00:08:53,823 This is my daughter, Loka. 159 00:08:55,735 --> 00:08:58,670 My son, Hidalgo. And my cousin, Vinny. 160 00:08:58,771 --> 00:09:01,171 Hey, how you doing? Give me a word, any word at all... 161 00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:02,914 and I'll pronounce it funny for a nickel. 162 00:09:06,279 --> 00:09:08,270 - Hello? - Hi, Mom. 163 00:09:08,447 --> 00:09:12,144 - Chris, are you all right? - Chris, buddy, thank God you're okay! 164 00:09:12,251 --> 00:09:14,685 - Hi, Dad. - Hey, this has been driving me crazy. 165 00:09:14,820 --> 00:09:17,186 - Who was the chick on Remington Steele? - Hello? 166 00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:19,952 - Stephanie Zimbalist? - No, Stewie Griffin. Who's this? 167 00:09:20,059 --> 00:09:22,892 - Thank you. - Chris, what are you doing down there? 168 00:09:22,995 --> 00:09:25,555 Relax, Mom. I'm having a great time. 169 00:09:25,665 --> 00:09:28,566 - You people knocked me off the modem. - When are you coming home? 170 00:09:28,668 --> 00:09:30,033 How's the food in South America? 171 00:09:30,136 --> 00:09:32,127 Do the women there have exposed clitterati? 172 00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:35,765 I'll be home in a month, after people have forgotten I'm a freshman. 173 00:09:35,875 --> 00:09:38,435 Well... Please, just take care of yourself, honey. 174 00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:40,341 Hey guys. Is everyone on the phone? 175 00:09:40,446 --> 00:09:41,890 - I got to go. - Something's in the oven. 176 00:09:41,914 --> 00:09:44,178 - I lost a shoe. - Don't leave me on phone with her! 177 00:09:44,283 --> 00:09:46,774 - Stewie? - Hey. 178 00:09:46,919 --> 00:09:50,218 - How's school? - Hi, Stewie. 179 00:09:50,323 --> 00:09:52,723 Listen, I am swamped... 180 00:09:52,858 --> 00:09:55,725 but Mom has kept me up to date on everything you're doing... 181 00:09:55,828 --> 00:09:59,127 and I think it's just great. Hanging up now. 182 00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:05,161 Boy, this place sure has changed since Pawtucket Pat sold it. 183 00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:07,364 So, this is where you'll be working, Mr. Griffin. 184 00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:11,742 Oh, and I should mention, employees are welcome to free Pawtucket Ale. 185 00:10:11,944 --> 00:10:14,276 We just ask that you don't drink during your shift. 186 00:10:14,380 --> 00:10:16,314 - That won't be a problem, sir. - Great. 187 00:10:16,415 --> 00:10:18,383 I'll be right back with your ID badge. 188 00:10:21,554 --> 00:10:23,749 Mr. Griffin, what happened to your pants? 189 00:10:23,856 --> 00:10:25,346 Oh, look, who's here. 190 00:10:25,491 --> 00:10:28,051 Mr. "I don't have time for your Little League games." 191 00:10:28,260 --> 00:10:30,194 Come here, you son of a bitch! 192 00:10:32,131 --> 00:10:35,567 Why do you close your eyes when we make love? 193 00:10:41,974 --> 00:10:44,465 I wonder how your father's first day at work went? 194 00:10:47,346 --> 00:10:50,679 - Dad, what the hell are you doing? - Yeah, hey, buddy. 195 00:10:50,816 --> 00:10:55,185 I'll have a triple cheeseburger and a large fries and... 196 00:10:55,554 --> 00:10:56,612 Do you sell pants? 197 00:10:58,691 --> 00:11:00,750 Hey, Meg, what's with all the beer cans? 198 00:11:00,860 --> 00:11:03,852 My dad got a job at the brewery and he gets lots of free beer. 199 00:11:03,963 --> 00:11:06,158 Actually, he's kind of been going overboard lately. 200 00:11:06,298 --> 00:11:10,029 - Oh, my God! - Hey, Meg, you seen my pants? 201 00:11:11,570 --> 00:11:14,368 Lois, by the way, we're out of toilet paper. 202 00:11:19,845 --> 00:11:22,643 Chris, thank you for helping bring water to my village. 203 00:11:22,848 --> 00:11:26,409 - You're a hero. - No. Lou Gehrig was a hero. 204 00:11:26,552 --> 00:11:29,419 Excellent. As soon as I release this biological toxin... 205 00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:32,582 into the world's water supply, I will rule the world. 206 00:11:32,758 --> 00:11:35,454 I'll call it "Lou Gehrig's Disease." 207 00:11:35,628 --> 00:11:38,688 I just have to remember to make sure this cap is screwed on tight. 208 00:11:40,599 --> 00:11:42,965 Well, I guess the joke's on me. 209 00:11:45,304 --> 00:11:48,501 This is a gift from all of us. Go ahead, try it on. 210 00:11:48,607 --> 00:11:49,607 Okay. 211 00:11:53,279 --> 00:11:55,679 Oh my, Chris, we can see your genitals. 212 00:11:57,583 --> 00:12:00,108 Just kidding. Everyone's genitals are hanging out. 213 00:12:00,252 --> 00:12:01,276 Really? 214 00:12:02,521 --> 00:12:05,081 Wow, this is just like Bible camp. 215 00:12:05,224 --> 00:12:08,387 Only I'm not crying and trying to pretend I'm somewhere else. 216 00:12:11,597 --> 00:12:14,065 Mr. Griffin, since you can't control your drinking... 217 00:12:14,166 --> 00:12:16,134 you've been demoted to the shipping department. 218 00:12:16,235 --> 00:12:19,170 - Come on! - This is your new supervisor, Angela. 219 00:12:19,939 --> 00:12:24,569 Mr. Griffin, we have different rules here. For starters, no drinking. Period. 220 00:12:24,810 --> 00:12:27,074 We start work at 7:00 a. m. sharp. 221 00:12:27,313 --> 00:12:29,474 This is your co-worker, Opie. 222 00:12:29,682 --> 00:12:33,641 He is a burden of the state, deemed unfit for mainstream society. 223 00:12:33,819 --> 00:12:35,013 He is your superior. 224 00:12:39,992 --> 00:12:40,992 What'd he say? 225 00:12:41,093 --> 00:12:43,254 He said he wants you to put your finger in his mouth. 226 00:12:43,362 --> 00:12:45,694 If you value your job, I'd do it. 227 00:12:47,166 --> 00:12:48,360 He bit me! 228 00:12:48,467 --> 00:12:52,460 Mr. Griffin, although I may not fully understand Opie's management style... 229 00:12:52,571 --> 00:12:55,369 he has proven himself a more competent employee than you. 230 00:12:55,508 --> 00:12:58,909 So, in my absence, you will listen to him. 231 00:13:00,846 --> 00:13:02,177 Come on, guy. 232 00:13:06,051 --> 00:13:09,509 Damn it! This is worse than being Kevin Federline's magic mirror. 233 00:13:10,990 --> 00:13:14,050 Magic mirror, how can I look like a douchebag today? 234 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:17,288 Well, Kevin, I would say, first of all, don't shave or shower. 235 00:13:17,396 --> 00:13:18,396 Okay, I won't. 236 00:13:18,497 --> 00:13:20,761 - And you just got out of bed, right? - Yeah. 237 00:13:20,866 --> 00:13:23,733 I would say, just go ahead and wear that tank top all day. 238 00:13:23,936 --> 00:13:25,062 Okay. 239 00:13:25,171 --> 00:13:28,265 All right, so we covered the hygiene, no collared shirts. 240 00:13:28,707 --> 00:13:32,074 Oh, and don't forget to walk around with an undeserved sense of accomplishment. 241 00:13:36,115 --> 00:13:40,017 Chris, the festival of the harvest is the time of celebration for my people. 242 00:13:40,152 --> 00:13:41,881 - Would you like to dance? - Sure! 243 00:13:41,987 --> 00:13:44,478 No one's ever asked me to dance before. 244 00:13:45,291 --> 00:13:47,350 I wanna jitterbug 245 00:13:48,727 --> 00:13:50,251 Jitterbug 246 00:13:51,030 --> 00:13:53,999 You Put the boom-boom into my heart 247 00:13:54,099 --> 00:13:57,557 You send my soul sky high when your lovin' starts 248 00:13:57,670 --> 00:14:00,002 Jitterbug into my brain 249 00:14:00,339 --> 00:14:03,536 Goes a bang-bang-bang till my feet do the same 250 00:14:03,642 --> 00:14:06,736 Wake me uP before you go-go 251 00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:09,644 Don't leave me hanging on like a yo-yo 252 00:14:09,748 --> 00:14:13,115 Wake me uP before you go-go 253 00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:16,617 And take me dancing tonight 254 00:14:18,924 --> 00:14:22,451 This is a joyous occasion. You've engaged the entire tribe in dance. 255 00:14:22,561 --> 00:14:25,724 According to our customs, you're now married to my daughter. 256 00:14:25,831 --> 00:14:26,923 I couldn't be happier. 257 00:14:27,032 --> 00:14:31,969 Well, if you're happy then I'm happy, because after all... What? 258 00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:35,632 My job sucks. 259 00:14:35,741 --> 00:14:38,710 I'm tired of always scrounging around on the bottom rung of society... 260 00:14:39,078 --> 00:14:40,636 getting kicked around by the Man. 261 00:14:40,746 --> 00:14:43,374 Like when I worked in that lab with Dr. Bunsen Honeydew. 262 00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:48,812 Agreed, Peter. 263 00:14:50,055 --> 00:14:52,114 We got a letter from Chris! 264 00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:56,394 Okay, he says he's doing great, having a wonderful time. 265 00:14:56,562 --> 00:15:00,623 He met a girl. He got married? 266 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:03,368 He says he's not coming back. 267 00:15:14,246 --> 00:15:17,511 We'll be landing in South America shortly. Please buckle your seat belts. 268 00:15:17,616 --> 00:15:20,642 Hey, Brenda, what've you got for me? Coffee? 269 00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:23,782 Damn, your ass looks hot. Is this thing on? 270 00:15:24,156 --> 00:15:25,646 I don't care. I want them to hear. 271 00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:27,658 Oh, Chris, my baby. 272 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:30,490 I told you, Peter. I never should have let him out of my stomach. 273 00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:32,257 I can't believe Chris got married. 274 00:15:32,564 --> 00:15:34,498 This is bigger news than when I toured Europe... 275 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:36,761 with that musical rendition of My Left Foot. 276 00:15:37,002 --> 00:15:38,993 My left foot 277 00:15:39,104 --> 00:15:42,164 Always been better than the right one 278 00:15:45,044 --> 00:15:47,103 My left foot 279 00:15:47,212 --> 00:15:50,670 Always gets me where I need to go 280 00:15:56,355 --> 00:15:57,913 I'll start out easy. 281 00:16:00,693 --> 00:16:01,955 Little more complex. 282 00:16:12,371 --> 00:16:16,307 - Oh, Chris, my baby! - Hi, Mom and Dad. 283 00:16:17,009 --> 00:16:20,410 Everybody, this is my wife, Loka. We're married. 284 00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:26,084 Well, maybe here, but not in America, where God pays attention. 285 00:16:26,185 --> 00:16:28,517 Now, get your things together. We're leaving right now. 286 00:16:28,620 --> 00:16:32,215 Mom, I'm not going anywhere. I'm happy here. 287 00:16:32,324 --> 00:16:33,416 This is my home. 288 00:16:33,525 --> 00:16:36,824 You guys got an ATM? I only got $37 on me. 289 00:16:39,898 --> 00:16:41,018 What's the matter with them? 290 00:16:41,066 --> 00:16:43,057 We've never seen that much money before. 291 00:16:43,168 --> 00:16:46,865 - You are richest man in the country. - Richest man in the country? 292 00:16:47,039 --> 00:16:50,873 Wow, no Griffin's been this powerful since my ancestor King Arthur Griffin. 293 00:16:51,443 --> 00:16:54,810 Arthur, if you are able to draw the sword from the stone... 294 00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:58,245 and prove to me you truly are the sole king of Camelot... 295 00:16:58,350 --> 00:17:01,183 I will make love to you right here in the clearing. 296 00:17:01,286 --> 00:17:03,406 What if I can just move it an inch, will you touch me? 297 00:17:06,525 --> 00:17:10,188 This is amazing. You've got the biggest hut in the village and all these servants... 298 00:17:10,295 --> 00:17:11,728 and you've only spent $1.50. 299 00:17:11,830 --> 00:17:13,821 That's a hell of a lot less than I had to spend... 300 00:17:13,932 --> 00:17:16,423 to go see that piece-of-crap remake of Bewitched. 301 00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:20,202 - Guess what? I'm a witch. - Guess what? I'm a Clippers fan. 302 00:17:44,263 --> 00:17:48,199 All ticketed Passengers for Flight 2378 to Reno, Nevada... 303 00:18:29,508 --> 00:18:31,840 - Hello. - That's not funny! 304 00:18:34,546 --> 00:18:37,481 Peter, this is ridiculous. We came here to take Chris home. 305 00:18:37,583 --> 00:18:38,743 Why are we staying? 306 00:18:38,851 --> 00:18:41,012 Because I'm tired of being treated like crap at work. 307 00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:43,918 Don't you see what this means to me? I'm somebody here. 308 00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:47,559 Finally, a white man has an opportunity to be rich and in charge. 309 00:18:47,826 --> 00:18:50,192 Hey, Pesci, here's a nickel. Say Yugoslavia. 310 00:18:50,329 --> 00:18:51,728 Yugoslavia. 311 00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:54,759 Here's a dime. Kill Pesci. 312 00:18:55,067 --> 00:18:57,661 The native man is an imPressive Physical sPecimen. 313 00:18:57,803 --> 00:19:01,398 Look closely at his sinewy muscular form and unusual vitality. 314 00:19:01,740 --> 00:19:06,609 It is a thrill to watch him dig a ditch or lift a jug of water or ParticiPate in a hunt. 315 00:19:06,712 --> 00:19:08,304 Cut. Print. Gay. 316 00:19:11,650 --> 00:19:12,742 What's going on? 317 00:19:12,851 --> 00:19:16,378 Peter paid the villagers to reenact the "Contest" episode of Seinfeld. 318 00:19:16,588 --> 00:19:17,987 - I am out. - Huh? 319 00:19:18,190 --> 00:19:20,784 I am out. I have pleasured myself. 320 00:19:25,230 --> 00:19:28,961 Dad, I've had enough of you taking advantage of these people. 321 00:19:29,201 --> 00:19:32,659 For God's sake, the woman playing Elaine is a high priestess. 322 00:19:32,971 --> 00:19:35,496 You can't spare one square? 323 00:19:36,041 --> 00:19:39,408 I don't have to take that from you. I'm the richest guy in town. 324 00:19:40,212 --> 00:19:42,908 Dad, don't you see? This is a wonderful place... 325 00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:46,109 and you're just using it to escape from your problems at home. 326 00:19:46,218 --> 00:19:47,595 What do you mean? Meg's right there. 327 00:19:47,619 --> 00:19:50,383 But Chris, honey, aren't you doing the same thing? 328 00:19:50,489 --> 00:19:51,489 What do you mean? 329 00:19:51,557 --> 00:19:54,924 I mean, you just came here because you were being picked on at school. 330 00:19:55,093 --> 00:19:57,789 You're using these people to escape your problems. 331 00:19:57,896 --> 00:19:59,830 Oh, my God. You're right. 332 00:19:59,932 --> 00:20:03,561 I married this 11-year-old girl for all the wrong reasons. 333 00:20:03,735 --> 00:20:05,066 I'm sorry, Loka. 334 00:20:05,170 --> 00:20:08,765 I guess I just came here because I was afraid of being a freshman. 335 00:20:08,974 --> 00:20:09,974 Freshman? 336 00:20:10,342 --> 00:20:12,833 Freshman! 337 00:20:16,148 --> 00:20:19,379 I guess you can't run away from your problems anywhere. 338 00:20:34,700 --> 00:20:37,760 Jock! Start the engine! Get the plane up! 339 00:21:06,365 --> 00:21:07,923 Peter, I think we forgot Meg.