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Family Guy 8x15
Brian Griffin's House of Payne
Original Air Date on March 28, 2010
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-- Sync by elderman --
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
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Fully eight months on patrol and nothin'.
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You know, Rupert, I miss
the Earth so much.
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I miss my wife.
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It's lonely out in spac...
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Uh-oh, Rupert,
we've got company,
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and I don't think
it's the Avon lady.
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Strap yourself in.
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No matter what happens,
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it's been a privilege
to serve under you.
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Don't relax yet, Rupert,
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those fighters had to have
been coming from somewhere.
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Oh, my God.
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Wait a minute, Rupert,
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there's a weapons
systems cooling duct
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on the far side
of the hull.
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If we can get just
one good shot at it,
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we can blow that fat
bastard out of the cosmos.
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Uh-oh, Rupert, our
main blasters are gone.
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Looks like this is
a suicide mission.
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Got you! Got you! Got you!
Got you! Got you!
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Stewie, get lost. Daddy's
trying to watch the ball game.
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You can't talk. I've knocked
out your communication systems.
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Hey, hey, look, Stewie,
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Rupert wants to go play
down in the basement.
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Hey, hey, Stewie,
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I'm gonna go play
down in the basement.
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Here I go.
♪ Do-do-do-do-do. ♪
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What? Why, Rupert?
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Why do you want to play
in the basement?
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I don't know, I just feel like
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there might be some
fun stuff down there.
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I'm not following
your logic.
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And why are you talking
different than usual?
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Here I go.
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Rupert, get back here.
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Rupert?
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Oh, there you are.
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Wow, look at all
the old stuff down here.
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Hello, what's this?
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"What I Learned
on Jefferson Street.
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Written by H. Brian Griffin."
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Oh, yes.
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What's this?
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What the hell...
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Where the hell
did this come from?
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What is it, Brian?
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It's the first thing
I ever wrote.
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It's a script for a
television show, a drama.
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I had an idea for a script once.
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It's basically Jaws, except
when the guys in the boat
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are going after Jaws,
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they look around and there's
an even bigger Jaws,
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so the guys have to team up
with Jaws to get bigger Jaws.
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I call it Big Jaws.
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God, I haven't looked
at this in years.
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I don't even remember
if it's any good or not.
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Oh, wait a minute.
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Yeah, yeah, this is all
coming back to me.
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You know, this is actually
not too bad a piece of work.
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This was... this was kind
of deep as I recall.
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You know, Lois, you-you
might actually be interested
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in reading this.
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You-you...
you might actually...
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You-you might like this.
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You should look at it.
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All right, damn it!
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So, have you read
the script yet?
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Oh, I'm sorry, Brian,
I haven't gotten around to it.
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Why not now, you know?
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Just get it
off your plate.
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Oh, gosh, you know what?
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I don't even know what I did
with the copy that you ga...
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Oh, there it is.
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Hey, you know what else
would be great?
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Why-why don't you put check
marks next to scenes you like?
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Well, I don't have a...
Here's a pen.
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You know, I'll-I'll just
leave it for you right here.
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Okay. Thank you, Brian.
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Hey, you know what I'll do
to make it even easier?
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I'll just go ahead and
place this in your hand.
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There we are.
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And now when you go, "Oh,
where's that crazy pen?"
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Well, there it is.
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It's in your hand.
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Brian, I'm not gonna read this
with you standing here.
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Oh, it's okay,
I don't mind.
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Go for a ride in the car?
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Come on!
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Why the hell's it taking her
so long to read that thing?
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I don't know, I saw
her giving Joe notes
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on his pilot this morning.
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What?
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Brian, your script...
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It was enchanting.
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This Brian Griffin--
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I've never met this
Brian Griffin.
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I would have told you
last night,
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but I was 100% sure
you ripped it off.
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But after spending
the last 18 hours
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on the Internet
and in libraries
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trying to find traces
of it somewhere,
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I couldn't find a thing.
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Well, I-I'm... I'm so happy
you liked it.
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Look, I don't want
to get your hopes up,
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but Daddy's got some
connections over at CBS,
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and I think he could
help you get this on TV.
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That's amazing,
Lois! Thank you!
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Oh, I am very proud of you.
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My God, a TV pilot.
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Wow, Brian, you must
feel like Hitler did
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after he wrote Mein Kampf.
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Well, we read it and
we don't like it.
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We love it!
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You got me!
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I could have killed you,
Mr. Weinberg!
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"Dear Diary, still no sign
of that tampon from last week,
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but the headaches
are getting worse."
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Chris, what are you doing?!
Give me that!
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Well, I'm off to buy
imaginary groceries.
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Do you think he's okay?
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I don't know.
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You idiot,
this is your fault.
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My fault?
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You were the one
chasing me.
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You were the one
reading my diary.
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Kids, breakfast.
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What do we do?
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Is he breathing?
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It-it looks like it.
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That's a good sign, right?
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Brian, I'm afraid I'm going
to have to be blunt with you.
Yeah?
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We love this pilot!
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Oh, my God,
I felt like Hitler just then.
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What?
It was a joke.
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I just-I just said
I felt like Hitler.
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What?
Nobody here's Jewish, right?
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Uh, gee, I don't know,
are you Jewish, Gordon?
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Gee, I don't know,
Jeremy, are you?
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I-I had no idea.
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I'm-I'm sorry.
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Hey, Brian.
We're both Italian.
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You're in.
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That's a good one.
That's a good one.
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Chris, I'm worried.
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Stewie's still
unconscious.
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Maybe he's just sleeping.
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Is Stewie in here?
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Ye-yes.
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Well, can you
give him to me?
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It's time
for his dinner.
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Oh, don't worry, Mom,
we'll bring him down.
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Anything I can do to make
your life a little easier.
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Well, you could always
grab the vacuum
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and clean up the
living room floor.
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Oh sure, I'll
take care of that.
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Are you, uh, running
off to your job?
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Oh.
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Yeah.
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Okay.
Yeah.
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Kids, what is taking so long?
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Dinner's ready.
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Oh, look at my little cowboy.
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Come on, Stewie, up
in your high chair.
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Boy, he must be starving.
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Yeah, he's really
chowing down.
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Hey, how's the food,
Stewie?
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Oy, blimey,
it's right delicious,
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I do declare.
Wacka wacka.
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Brian, have you decided
who's gonna star in your show?
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Well, it's a tough role.
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I mean, Byron is a 25-year-old
single father
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going back to finish college
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so he can do right
by his four-year-old daughter.
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So it's got to be somebody
who can project
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a certain amount of
world-wizened sophistication,
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while at the same time retaining
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a certain youthfully
passionate idealism.
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You know who'd be
good? Big Jaws.
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Actually, in my mind,
there's only one actor
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who could do this role:
Elijah Wood.
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Oh, Elijah Wood.
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I got a little bit
of a crush on him, I have.
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Oh, oh, look, Lois, wishbone.
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Okay, ready?
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One, two, three.
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Yes!
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I got five seconds.
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Hah! No gravity.
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There he is!
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Oh, go on.
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No, really, go on.
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Hi, I'm Todd Goldstein,
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senior executive of programming
here at the network.
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We are so happy
to be working with you.
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00:09:51,536 --> 00:09:53,636
I hope you brought the magic
wand you wrote this with.
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00:09:53,704 --> 00:09:55,171
Yep, it's right here.
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00:09:55,239 --> 00:09:57,440
Watch, I'll turn this beautiful
princess into a toad.
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Bing.
Ribbit.
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00:10:00,444 --> 00:10:01,644
Oh, all right,
I can tell
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this is gonna be
a fun process.
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00:10:03,414 --> 00:10:05,719
You know, Brian, you've spun
gold into these pages,
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00:10:05,787 --> 00:10:08,291
and it's our job to bring
that gold to the screen.
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00:10:08,359 --> 00:10:10,864
So, what do you say we get this
casting session started, huh?
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00:10:10,932 --> 00:10:12,533
Let's do it.
207
00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:15,602
All right!
Yeah!
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00:10:15,669 --> 00:10:17,837
Okay, now obviously,
we love Elijah Wood
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00:10:17,904 --> 00:10:20,238
for the part of Byron
as much as you do.
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00:10:20,306 --> 00:10:21,904
The audition
is just a formality.
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00:10:21,972 --> 00:10:23,071
Let's bring him in.
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00:10:23,139 --> 00:10:24,739
Elijah?
213
00:10:24,806 --> 00:10:25,973
Hi, everyone.
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00:10:26,041 --> 00:10:28,709
Hey, Elijah,
how are you?
How you doing?
215
00:10:28,777 --> 00:10:30,076
So should I just
jump into this?
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00:10:30,144 --> 00:10:31,811
Whenever you're ready.
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00:10:31,879 --> 00:10:33,512
Okay, I'll read
you in, Elijah.
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00:10:33,580 --> 00:10:35,613
Now, this is the scene where
Byron's professor fails him
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00:10:35,681 --> 00:10:37,148
for missing the
chemistry midterm
220
00:10:37,215 --> 00:10:39,516
to take his daughter
to the doctor.
221
00:10:39,584 --> 00:10:42,918
I'm sorry, Byron, missing the
midterm is an automatic failure.
222
00:10:42,986 --> 00:10:45,287
Go ahead, Professor Watkins,
fail me if you want.
223
00:10:45,355 --> 00:10:47,188
Give me an "F" on the exam.
224
00:10:47,256 --> 00:10:49,557
I don't care because
I got an "A" today...
225
00:10:49,624 --> 00:10:51,025
as a dad.
226
00:10:51,092 --> 00:10:52,493
Maybe this is news to you,
227
00:10:52,560 --> 00:10:54,861
but love isn't some element
on your periodic table.
228
00:10:54,929 --> 00:10:56,129
So, you know what?
229
00:10:56,196 --> 00:10:58,163
Keep your chromium
and magnesium,
230
00:10:58,231 --> 00:11:00,798
because I discovered
a much more precious element.
231
00:11:00,866 --> 00:11:02,402
I discovered Dadmium.
232
00:11:03,606 --> 00:11:05,340
Wow.
233
00:11:05,408 --> 00:11:07,843
Does that audition come
with a box of tissues?
234
00:11:07,911 --> 00:11:09,078
That was a
great read.
235
00:11:09,145 --> 00:11:11,513
Thanks, everybody.
236
00:11:11,581 --> 00:11:13,114
I mean, come on.
How great is he?
237
00:11:13,182 --> 00:11:15,749
Wow. He's amazing.
That's our guy.
238
00:11:15,817 --> 00:11:17,017
That's our Byron.
239
00:11:17,084 --> 00:11:18,218
Great. Then we're
good to go.
240
00:11:18,285 --> 00:11:20,252
Look, since we're playing
with house money,
241
00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:22,754
we do have
one more guy.
242
00:11:22,822 --> 00:11:24,189
What?
Oh, don't worry.
243
00:11:24,257 --> 00:11:25,257
He's not Byron.
244
00:11:25,325 --> 00:11:26,892
Somebody upstairs
threw out a name,
245
00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:27,927
got real excited
about it,
246
00:11:27,994 --> 00:11:29,328
so we're just
playing the game.
247
00:11:29,395 --> 00:11:31,530
Okay, so who?
248
00:11:31,597 --> 00:11:33,798
Hey, what's up, douche bags?
249
00:11:33,865 --> 00:11:35,532
I'm here to audition
for this stupid pilot.
250
00:11:37,801 --> 00:11:38,968
James Woods?
251
00:11:39,036 --> 00:11:40,803
Thanks for
coming in, Jimmy.
252
00:11:40,871 --> 00:11:42,138
Do you need
a copy of the scene?
253
00:11:42,206 --> 00:11:43,673
Nah, I got it memorized.
254
00:11:43,741 --> 00:11:44,975
Just like
your wife's phone number.
255
00:11:47,011 --> 00:11:48,211
No, he didn't!
256
00:11:48,278 --> 00:11:49,745
I do, though.
I have it memorized.
257
00:11:49,813 --> 00:11:50,946
Wait a second. I
don't want this guy
258
00:11:51,014 --> 00:11:52,147
anywhere near
this show!
259
00:11:52,215 --> 00:11:53,882
He's been harassing
my family for years!
260
00:11:53,949 --> 00:11:56,351
He stalked my best friend and
then he stole his identity!
261
00:11:58,453 --> 00:12:00,187
Oh, my God.
That's an episode!
262
00:12:00,255 --> 00:12:01,555
Brian, will you
read him in?
263
00:12:03,725 --> 00:12:05,125
I'm sorry, Byron.
264
00:12:05,193 --> 00:12:07,393
Missing the midterm
is an automatic failure.
265
00:12:07,461 --> 00:12:09,595
Hey, science face,
I got an "F" for you.
266
00:12:09,663 --> 00:12:11,030
It stands for "you."
267
00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:13,565
There he is!
268
00:12:13,633 --> 00:12:14,733
Hey, and guess what?
269
00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:15,934
I discovered a new element.
270
00:12:19,571 --> 00:12:21,873
Okay, thanks a lot,
everybody. I got to go.
271
00:12:21,940 --> 00:12:23,775
I got some school
bus seats to sniff.
272
00:12:25,010 --> 00:12:26,511
Seriously,
stop it!
273
00:12:26,578 --> 00:12:28,312
Okay, did everyone else
feel that?
274
00:12:28,380 --> 00:12:29,280
I felt it.
275
00:12:29,347 --> 00:12:30,814
Oh, I felt it, too.
276
00:12:30,881 --> 00:12:32,615
I felt whatever the most senior
executive in this room felt.
277
00:12:32,683 --> 00:12:34,083
Okay, good.
So we all felt it.
278
00:12:34,151 --> 00:12:36,051
Wait, you're not seriously
considering him, are you?
279
00:12:36,119 --> 00:12:37,953
James Woods is insane.
280
00:12:38,021 --> 00:12:39,588
And on top of that,
he's, like, 60.
281
00:12:39,655 --> 00:12:41,522
The character of Byron
is 25 years old.
282
00:12:41,590 --> 00:12:42,690
I know, I know.
283
00:12:42,758 --> 00:12:45,259
But what if he wasn't?
284
00:12:45,327 --> 00:12:46,360
What? But he is.
285
00:12:46,428 --> 00:12:47,461
...n't.
286
00:12:47,529 --> 00:12:48,963
My god, this
is a nightmare.
287
00:12:49,031 --> 00:12:50,865
I thought you said you weren't
gonna mess with my show.
288
00:12:50,932 --> 00:12:52,366
It's a small
change, Brian.
289
00:12:52,434 --> 00:12:53,701
You won't
even notice it.
290
00:12:53,769 --> 00:12:55,303
You guys aren't gonna
believe this.
291
00:12:55,370 --> 00:12:56,537
Call a tow truck.
292
00:12:56,605 --> 00:12:58,805
I just banged
into some homo's Prius.
293
00:13:01,508 --> 00:13:03,876
This is Rob, our director.
294
00:13:03,944 --> 00:13:06,809
Hey, Brian. Really looking
forward to making your show.
295
00:13:06,876 --> 00:13:09,344
What's, uh, wha-what's
with all those empty seats?
296
00:13:09,412 --> 00:13:10,946
Well, that's where the audience
is gonna sit.
297
00:13:11,013 --> 00:13:12,280
Audience?
298
00:13:12,348 --> 00:13:13,781
This isn't a sitcom.
It's a drama.
299
00:13:13,849 --> 00:13:17,217
Well, we thought it would be a
lot funnier if it was a sitcom.
300
00:13:17,285 --> 00:13:18,952
It's-It's-It's not supposed
to be funny.
301
00:13:19,020 --> 00:13:21,054
It's a serious drama
about a single father
302
00:13:21,121 --> 00:13:22,555
raising his
four-year-old daughter.
303
00:13:22,622 --> 00:13:24,490
Oh, right. That's
the other thing.
304
00:13:24,557 --> 00:13:26,657
Now, this is just a thought,
but we're doing it.
305
00:13:26,725 --> 00:13:28,092
She's 18.
What?
306
00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:29,826
It was James Woods' idea
307
00:13:29,894 --> 00:13:31,528
and we thought it was
just the right hook.
308
00:13:31,596 --> 00:13:33,098
I mean, how
great is that?
309
00:13:33,166 --> 00:13:36,334
A father and a daughter,
both in college together?
310
00:13:36,402 --> 00:13:38,402
Hey, do you guys think this
outfit is too revealing?
311
00:13:38,470 --> 00:13:39,670
What-what do
you think, Brian?
312
00:13:39,738 --> 00:13:40,738
I mean, what-what
do you think
313
00:13:40,805 --> 00:13:42,039
of the ta-tas,
you know what I mean?
314
00:13:42,106 --> 00:13:44,274
Can we do better? I think
we can do better, right?
315
00:13:44,342 --> 00:13:45,909
Who is this? Where'd
you get this girl?
316
00:13:45,977 --> 00:13:48,044
Oh, by the way,
I need a chimp sidekick.
317
00:13:52,482 --> 00:13:54,083
Maybe we should take him
to the hospital.
318
00:13:54,150 --> 00:13:55,550
I think the maggots
have evolved
319
00:13:55,618 --> 00:13:57,485
to the point that they've
developed space travel.
320
00:14:01,489 --> 00:14:03,523
We just gotta clean
the wound, Meg.
321
00:14:03,590 --> 00:14:05,024
Hand me that
scrub brush.
322
00:14:06,293 --> 00:14:07,326
Hey, Chris.
323
00:14:07,394 --> 00:14:09,227
Hey-Hey, Dad.
324
00:14:11,063 --> 00:14:13,931
So, question: How long has
Stewie been unconscious?
325
00:14:13,999 --> 00:14:15,266
Oh my God,
Chris, he knows!
326
00:14:15,333 --> 00:14:17,768
Dad, I am so sorry.
327
00:14:17,835 --> 00:14:20,203
We should have told somebody,
but we were too scared,
328
00:14:20,271 --> 00:14:22,672
and-and-and I wanted
to take him to the hospital,
329
00:14:22,739 --> 00:14:23,706
but Chris wouldn't let me.
330
00:14:23,774 --> 00:14:24,874
Good, Chris.
331
00:14:24,941 --> 00:14:26,075
I've taught you well.
332
00:14:26,142 --> 00:14:27,242
You've got
the right instincts.
333
00:14:27,310 --> 00:14:28,610
When you were babies,
334
00:14:28,678 --> 00:14:30,078
I used to knock you kids out
every month or so,
335
00:14:30,146 --> 00:14:32,614
sometimes by accident, sometimes
when the Patriots lost.
336
00:14:32,681 --> 00:14:34,916
You just gotta cover it up,
and eventually it all works out.
337
00:14:34,983 --> 00:14:36,484
Meg, this is
a list of hats.
338
00:14:36,551 --> 00:14:37,618
I need these
by 4:00.
339
00:14:37,685 --> 00:14:39,186
Good idea.
340
00:14:39,254 --> 00:14:41,121
One of those hats would have
helped him at the park today.
341
00:14:41,189 --> 00:14:44,291
Chris, did you put a
coonskin cap on Stewie?
342
00:14:44,359 --> 00:14:45,425
No, why?
343
00:14:48,495 --> 00:14:50,894
They look like
little robbers.
344
00:14:55,098 --> 00:14:56,665
Hey, good evening, everyone,
345
00:14:56,733 --> 00:14:59,801
and welcome to the first taping
of CBS's new hit comedy,
346
00:14:59,869 --> 00:15:01,102
Class Holes!
347
00:15:02,871 --> 00:15:04,705
Wait a minute.
That's not the title.
348
00:15:04,773 --> 00:15:06,607
It's called "What I Learned
on Jefferson Street."
349
00:15:06,675 --> 00:15:08,742
Yeah, it didn't make
a lot of sense
350
00:15:08,810 --> 00:15:10,110
now that he lives
on Boner Street.
351
00:15:10,178 --> 00:15:11,812
And... action!
352
00:15:11,879 --> 00:15:14,148
Okay, Hillary,
you know the bet.
353
00:15:14,216 --> 00:15:16,016
You have to sleep
with the next guy
354
00:15:16,084 --> 00:15:17,284
that walks
through that door.
355
00:15:17,352 --> 00:15:18,685
Got it.
356
00:15:18,753 --> 00:15:19,853
Dad?!
357
00:15:21,755 --> 00:15:22,889
Hillary?
358
00:15:24,057 --> 00:15:25,190
You're in college?
359
00:15:26,993 --> 00:15:28,960
You're my new
college roommate?!
360
00:15:30,529 --> 00:15:31,996
We're gonna be
living together?
361
00:15:33,398 --> 00:15:34,899
In the same dorm?
362
00:15:36,268 --> 00:15:37,601
For the whole year?!
363
00:15:39,103 --> 00:15:40,970
With my chimp sidekick?!
364
00:15:42,306 --> 00:15:44,640
Brian, they love it.
365
00:15:44,708 --> 00:15:46,476
Wha-what is this?
This isn't my script.
366
00:15:46,543 --> 00:15:47,777
What the hell'd
you do to it?!
367
00:15:47,845 --> 00:15:49,479
And I've got
great news for you.
368
00:15:49,546 --> 00:15:51,814
We just got an e-mail
from the network heads.
369
00:15:51,882 --> 00:15:54,350
They want to pick up
Class Holes! for 22 episodes!
370
00:15:54,418 --> 00:15:55,984
Really?
Yeah, aren't
you thrilled?
371
00:15:56,052 --> 00:15:59,054
I, uh...
I'm not sure.
372
00:15:59,122 --> 00:16:02,090
Hey, guys, the chimp just ripped
the other girl's boob off.
373
00:16:02,158 --> 00:16:04,125
Please tell me
you got that on camera.
374
00:16:09,020 --> 00:16:10,987
Lois, I-I wish you hadn't
gone through all this trouble.
375
00:16:11,055 --> 00:16:12,155
Are you kidding?
376
00:16:12,223 --> 00:16:13,756
I'm so excited.
377
00:16:13,824 --> 00:16:15,524
From the first time
I read that script,
378
00:16:15,592 --> 00:16:17,526
I just knew it was
gonna make it on TV.
379
00:16:17,594 --> 00:16:18,727
I could see it.
380
00:16:18,794 --> 00:16:20,295
Well, yeah, I mean,
381
00:16:20,362 --> 00:16:23,798
but the real victory is just
having a show make it to TV.
382
00:16:23,866 --> 00:16:25,801
I mean, we almost don't
even need to watch.
383
00:16:25,868 --> 00:16:27,903
Hey, what's the cast of
Two and a Half Men doing here?
384
00:16:27,971 --> 00:16:30,005
Well, you're always
saying our show sucks.
385
00:16:30,073 --> 00:16:31,173
Let's see yours.
386
00:16:31,241 --> 00:16:33,275
Come on, Peter!
Come on, kids!
387
00:16:33,343 --> 00:16:34,845
The show's about to start!
388
00:16:34,913 --> 00:16:37,181
I'm coming.
I was just gettin' Stewie.
389
00:16:37,249 --> 00:16:39,217
All right, got the little
guy up from his nap.
390
00:16:39,285 --> 00:16:42,350
Say hello to everyone, Stewie.
391
00:16:42,416 --> 00:16:44,016
Aww.
392
00:16:44,083 --> 00:16:45,084
Oh, oh, look,
everybody.
393
00:16:45,151 --> 00:16:47,353
It's starting.
394
00:16:49,588 --> 00:16:51,122
♪ There was a man ♪
395
00:16:51,190 --> 00:16:52,856
♪ He dropped out ♪
396
00:16:52,923 --> 00:16:54,522
♪ Now he's back ♪
397
00:16:54,590 --> 00:16:56,857
♪ He had a daughter ♪
398
00:16:56,925 --> 00:16:58,292
♪ Now she's in college
with him. ♪
399
00:16:58,359 --> 00:17:01,528
What a pain in my class!
400
00:17:14,839 --> 00:17:17,040
Well, Dad,
I owe you an apology.
401
00:17:17,107 --> 00:17:19,507
You said you'd win that
talent show and you did.
402
00:17:19,575 --> 00:17:21,542
Now everyone's doing
the Charleston.
403
00:17:22,777 --> 00:17:23,877
Not everyone.
404
00:17:23,945 --> 00:17:25,545
Someone's doing
The Monkey.
405
00:17:26,780 --> 00:17:28,581
Mr. Nubbins.
406
00:17:28,648 --> 00:17:30,750
Well, if you
can't beat 'em...
407
00:17:37,693 --> 00:17:39,627
So, uh...
what'd you guys think?
408
00:17:39,695 --> 00:17:41,729
Not the worst thing
in the world, right?
409
00:17:43,131 --> 00:17:44,498
Oh, ha-ha.
410
00:17:44,566 --> 00:17:46,333
Time for bed,
Stewie.
411
00:17:49,037 --> 00:17:51,570
So, really, everybody,
what-what'd you think?
412
00:17:51,638 --> 00:17:53,037
You want to know
what I think?
413
00:17:53,104 --> 00:17:54,271
Well, yeah.
414
00:17:54,339 --> 00:17:55,437
You son of a bitch!
415
00:17:55,505 --> 00:17:56,604
Oh! Oh my God!
416
00:17:56,672 --> 00:17:57,705
It's a travesty!
Joe, stop it!
417
00:17:57,772 --> 00:17:58,905
And I will kill you!
418
00:17:58,973 --> 00:18:00,172
Okay, okay.
Come on, Joe.
419
00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:01,841
You bastard,
we hired a sitter for this!
420
00:18:01,909 --> 00:18:03,077
Come on,
come on, Joe!
Okay, come on.
421
00:18:03,144 --> 00:18:05,412
Guys, keep his anus
above his head!
422
00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:06,780
Okay, okay.
All right, all right.
423
00:18:06,847 --> 00:18:07,680
Okay, careful.
Careful, Peter.
424
00:18:08,816 --> 00:18:10,383
Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
425
00:18:10,450 --> 00:18:12,251
Look, I'm sure you're
disappointed, Lois,
426
00:18:12,319 --> 00:18:13,552
but it wasn't my fault.
427
00:18:13,619 --> 00:18:15,353
There-there were so
many people interfering.
428
00:18:15,420 --> 00:18:16,687
Of course
it's gonna be bad.
429
00:18:16,755 --> 00:18:19,122
I'm not disappointed
because it was bad.
430
00:18:19,190 --> 00:18:21,724
I'm disappointed
because you sold out.
431
00:18:21,792 --> 00:18:23,826
You had something really
special there, Brian.
432
00:18:23,894 --> 00:18:26,028
You had a vision and
you let them change it
433
00:18:26,096 --> 00:18:27,696
because you didn't
believe in yourself.
434
00:18:27,763 --> 00:18:29,430
Lois, what was I gonna do?
435
00:18:29,498 --> 00:18:31,432
It was either do it their way
or get cancelled.
436
00:18:31,500 --> 00:18:34,502
Well, at least then you would
have had your integrity.
437
00:18:41,908 --> 00:18:43,308
You guys wanted
to see me?
438
00:18:43,376 --> 00:18:45,910
Look, Brian, we're really
excited about the ratings.
439
00:18:45,977 --> 00:18:48,045
We're just really disappointed
with how low they are.
440
00:18:48,112 --> 00:18:49,746
We did some testing
this morning,
441
00:18:49,814 --> 00:18:51,248
and we think we've
discovered the problem.
442
00:18:51,315 --> 00:18:54,751
People want something
more real, more grounded.
443
00:18:54,818 --> 00:18:56,685
That's exactly
what I think, too.
444
00:18:56,753 --> 00:18:58,820
We need to get back
to the original script.
445
00:18:58,888 --> 00:19:01,122
Byron wants to do right
by his daughter,
446
00:19:01,189 --> 00:19:03,157
and I think that everyone
can relate to that.
447
00:19:03,225 --> 00:19:04,791
That's what America
wants to see.
448
00:19:04,859 --> 00:19:06,993
The simple love within a family
449
00:19:07,060 --> 00:19:09,128
that conquers all
and makes life worth living.
450
00:19:09,196 --> 00:19:12,932
What if I'm a cop and the chimp
is my reincarnated partner?
451
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:14,066
Yes!
452
00:19:14,134 --> 00:19:15,301
That's perfect!
453
00:19:15,368 --> 00:19:17,069
See? That's relatable!
454
00:19:17,136 --> 00:19:18,603
How the hell is that relatable?
455
00:19:18,671 --> 00:19:20,538
And every month,
he's got a story
456
00:19:20,606 --> 00:19:22,239
for why he doesn't have
his half of the rent.
457
00:19:22,307 --> 00:19:24,274
I'm not doing this!
458
00:19:24,342 --> 00:19:26,175
What do you mean,
you're not doing it?
459
00:19:26,243 --> 00:19:27,812
I'm drawing the line.
460
00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:29,680
I wrote a script that really
meant a lot to me,
461
00:19:29,748 --> 00:19:31,115
and you guys took it
462
00:19:31,183 --> 00:19:32,917
and turned it into something
cheap and ridiculous.
463
00:19:32,984 --> 00:19:34,151
I've had enough.
464
00:19:34,219 --> 00:19:35,986
I'm not selling out anymore.
I quit.
465
00:19:37,889 --> 00:19:40,023
Do you guys have a
studio lawyer or something,
466
00:19:40,090 --> 00:19:41,490
'cause I banged
that chick,
467
00:19:41,558 --> 00:19:43,993
and I think she is
well under 18 years old.
468
00:19:47,030 --> 00:19:48,363
All right, he's
not waking up.
469
00:19:48,431 --> 00:19:49,898
I think we gotta take
these bandages off
470
00:19:49,966 --> 00:19:51,532
and see what we're
dealin' with here.
471
00:19:54,037 --> 00:19:55,705
Oh, crap, you
smell that?
472
00:19:55,772 --> 00:19:56,772
That's brain smell.
473
00:19:56,840 --> 00:19:58,407
Okay, I don't care
what you say.
474
00:19:58,475 --> 00:20:00,108
He's really hurt,
and I'm gonna do
475
00:20:00,176 --> 00:20:01,610
what I should have done
in the first place.
476
00:20:01,678 --> 00:20:02,978
I'm taking him
to the hospital.
477
00:20:03,046 --> 00:20:05,780
No, no. I got one
last plan, Meg.
478
00:20:14,450 --> 00:20:15,584
Oh, my God!
479
00:20:15,651 --> 00:20:17,118
Stewie!
480
00:20:17,186 --> 00:20:19,520
Oh, God.
What have I done?!
481
00:20:19,588 --> 00:20:21,387
Looks like you
ran over him, Lois.
482
00:20:21,455 --> 00:20:24,256
Oh, no!
He's unconscious!
483
00:20:24,324 --> 00:20:26,190
Peter, Peter, we have
to cover this up!
484
00:20:26,258 --> 00:20:27,791
Yeah, but... What?!
485
00:20:27,859 --> 00:20:29,859
Let's put a hat on him
to cover the wound,
486
00:20:29,927 --> 00:20:31,127
and-and then let's
get some makeup
487
00:20:31,195 --> 00:20:32,662
and draw eyeballs
on his eyelids
488
00:20:32,729 --> 00:20:34,997
and find a way to pin
this on someone else.
489
00:20:35,064 --> 00:20:37,665
I love you
so much right now.
490
00:20:37,733 --> 00:20:38,966
Let's go to the hospital.
491
00:20:40,292 --> 00:20:45,192
-- Sync by elderman --
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
492
00:20:47,975 --> 00:20:50,242
Well, Brian, I'm
proud of you.
493
00:20:50,310 --> 00:20:50,809
You went in there and you stood
up for what you believed in.
494
00:20:52,169 --> 00:20:54,036
Yeah, now I don't have
a TV Show anymore.
495
00:20:54,347 --> 00:20:56,167
Oh who cares about that.
496
00:20:56,286 --> 00:20:58,620
You made the right choice
for your own integrity
497
00:20:58,688 --> 00:21:00,021
And that's what matters.
498
00:21:00,089 --> 00:21:01,389
Well, I suppose
you're right.
499
00:21:01,457 --> 00:21:03,858
And hey, at least I got
something on the air.
500
00:21:03,926 --> 00:21:05,459
I mean, not everyone
can say that.
501
00:21:07,170 --> 00:21:09,730
Announcer
We now return to big jaws.
502
00:21:09,798 --> 00:21:13,605
Aah! Stop eating
our boat, jaws!
503
00:21:13,673 --> 00:21:15,313
Rrr. I'm gonna
eat your boat,
504
00:21:15,381 --> 00:21:16,859
And then I'm gonna
eat you guys!
505
00:21:16,926 --> 00:21:18,753
Rarr!
506
00:21:18,821 --> 00:21:19,997
Oh, my god, what's that?
507
00:21:20,065 --> 00:21:21,382
It's bigger jaws!
508
00:21:21,450 --> 00:21:22,561
Oh, my god!
509
00:21:22,629 --> 00:21:23,839
Now we have
a common enemy.
510
00:21:23,907 --> 00:21:24,984
We have
to work together.
511
00:21:25,052 --> 00:21:26,537
I already got
a sequel in mind.
512
00:21:26,605 --> 00:21:28,189
It's called
way bigger jaws.
513
00:21:28,256 --> 00:21:30,611
Hey, I just found
out it's November!
514
00:21:30,678 --> 00:21:33,097
What the
happened?!
515
00:21:33,165 --> 00:21:37,063
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516
00:21:51,794 --> 00:21:55,913
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