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♪ It seems today that all you see ♪
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♪ Is violence in
movies and sex on TV ♪
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♪ But where are those good
old-fashioned values ♪
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♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
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♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
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♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪
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♪ All the things that make us ♪
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♪ Laugh and cry ♪
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♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
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Family Guy 8x19
The Splendid Source
Original Air Date on May 16, 2010
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-- Sync, corrected by elderman --
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
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Hi. This is Peter.
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Don't get scared that you can
hear my voice
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but you can't see me.
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This is the story of a great
adventure
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that happened to me and
some of my pals.
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It all began innocently enough,
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with my stupid wife showing me
some dumb-ass brochure.
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So, here's where we'll all
be staying this weekend.
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You and I will have one cabin,
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and Bonnie and Joe and Quagmire
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will have the other two.
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Ah, this is going
to be so much fun!
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Hi, Chris. How was school?
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Not good.
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I got suspended for
saying bad words.
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Oh, for God's sake!
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My principal wants to
meet with you guys.
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Should we go?
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It sounds like a trap.
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Yes, Peter, we should go.
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All right, but if it's a
trap and we don't come back,
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I get to make smart-alecky remarks
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when we're tied up back-to-back,
like last time.
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Any more bright ideas, Professor?
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Mr. and Mrs. Griffin,
the reason Chris was suspended
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is that he told a very
inappropriate joke in class.
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Well, Principal Shepherd,
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we promise you it
won't happen again.
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I don't know where
Chris heard the joke,
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but I can assure you
it wasn't at home.
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Was it, Chris?
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No. Mr. Quagmire told it to me.
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I should have figured.
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Was it the one where the blind man
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walks by the fish market and says,
"Good morning, ladies"?
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I told you that one!
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You told me that one.
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I sure did.
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We enjoy each other's company.
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Hey, Quagmire.
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You know, you got Chris
suspended from school
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for telling one of
your dirty jokes.
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Oh, gosh, Peter, I'm sorry.
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You want me to talk to him?
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Well, no, actually, I...
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I want you to tell me the joke.
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Yeah, tell us the joke.
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You want to hear it? All right.
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So, this chick meets a
guy at a bar, and...
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P.S. Your vagina's in the sink.
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Oh, God, I pooped my pants.
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It's funny when it
happens to other people.
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Yuck. That's the end
of those underwears.
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I didn't know what to do,
so I took them off
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and hummed them at the wall,
and they started sliding down
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like one of them sticky octopuses.
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Well, it's a pretty funny joke,
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you know, when you think about it.
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"Your vagina's in the sink."
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Damn it!
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Wow. He poops every
time he hears that joke.
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Yeah.
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He does, doesn't he?
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Get out of here, Quagmire!
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I just put on clean pants!
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Who's texting me?
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Damn it!
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Stop it, you guys!
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You're ruining all my clothes!
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Okay, Quagmire, he's asleep.
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Peter!
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You just pooped all over the bed!
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When you poop in your dreams,
you poop for real.
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Hello, fellas.
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Hey, Pete... Hey,
those are my pants.
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That's right. Thought I'd come by
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and see if you have
any jokes to tell.
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I enjoy a joke.
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I don't know.
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I want to tell the joke,
but I like those pants.
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I'll tell the joke.
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Go ahead, Joe. I'm all anus.
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Joe, don't you dare.
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I'll push you
straight into traffic.
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Peter, you win.
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All right, I won't
tell the joke anymore.
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You know, I-I got to admit,
Quagmire,
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despite all the problems,
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that joke is freaking hilarious.
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Where'd you hear it?
Bruce told it to me.
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No way Bruce came up with that.
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Where'd he hear it?
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I don't know-
probably just around.
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I mean, where does any
dirty joke come from?
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Hey, you know, Joe is right.
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There's a million of them.
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They got to be coming
from somewhere.
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I mean, somebody's got to
be making these things up.
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Well, who? I don't know.
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But haven't you ever
wanted to find out?
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Well, yeah, but how
would anyone do that?
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A quest, Joe.
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We go on a quest to find the source
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of the world's dirty jokes.
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Who's with me?
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Well, I'm with you.
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Oh, what the hell? So am I.
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And so began our journey
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to find the splendid source
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of off-color humor as we know it.
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Our first stop was to see Bruce.
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Oh, hey.
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What size shoes is y'alls?
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Actually, we're not here to bowl.
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We were wondering where you heard
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that dirty joke you told Quagmire.
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Oh, that one? Oh, no.
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I'm not going to tell y'all
that one here at the workplace.
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Too dirty.
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Maybe after quitting time,
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I'll have a mimosa
and tell y'all then.
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Look, you blade, just tell
us who you heard it from.
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It turned out the joke already had
quite a history.
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Bruce had heard it from Consuela.
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Consuela heard it from Mayor West.
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West heard it from Dr.
Hartman.
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Hartman heard it from Angela,
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Angela from Opie, Opie from Herbert.
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Herbert heard it from Tom Tucker.
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Tucker heard it from Bender
on Futurama,
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oddly enough, for some reason.
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Bender heard it from Al Harrington,
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Harrington from REO Speedwagon.
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♪ Heard it from a friend who ♪
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♪ Heard it from a friend who ♪
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♪ Heard it from another... ♪
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REO Speedwagon saved us several stops,
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as they, too, had backtracked
the joke to some extent.
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But when their trail had led
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to a bartender in Virginia,
they had given up,
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much the way the world
had given up on them.
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In fact, just to kick them
a couple extra bucks,
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here's five seconds
of "Time for Me to Fly."
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No, don't!
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All the money goes
to my bitch ex-wife!
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Can you play our song?
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Okay, lead singer from Asia.
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♪ Now, sure as the sun
will cross the sky ♪
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♪ This lie is over... ♪
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We can't go to Virginia, Peter.
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Bonnie and Lois planned that
couples weekend to Maine.
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We're supposed to
leave in the morning.
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Yeah, Peter,
we've looked long enough.
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Maybe the joke doesn't
have a source.
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Don't be stupid.
Somebody had to have made it up.
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And we're going to find out who.
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Besides, this will be way more fun
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than hanging out in
Maine with the wives,
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sitting around a campfire,
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listening to Lois
tell grocery stories.
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"Oh, Peter, you should
have been there.
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"Uncle Ben's converted
brown rice was on sale.
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They marked it down from $12 to...
to three..."
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Whatever-- I don't
know how much rice is,
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but you know what I'm saying.
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Okay, Peter,
I've got the directions.
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Head north on the turnpike.
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That's going to be the
quickest route to Maine.
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Sure, Lois.
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Say, ladies, I was wondering
if you could tell me--
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what was childbirth like?
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Oh, Glenn, you have no idea.
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It's something no man
could understand.
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Think of the most intense
pain you've ever felt,
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and imagine feeling that for hours.
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Well, and then,
by the eighth month,
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I had hemorrhoids that hung
like bunches of grapes.
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And then, they said I was four
centimeters dilated.
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They didn't think I was far enough,
but I was like,
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"I can tell you I'm far enough.
"
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And that's when Chris was born.
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Gosh, that's all so fascinating.
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Let me ask you something else.
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Have you girls ever worked
in an office with other women
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who you have negative
things to say about?
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Oh, God, yes. Oh, my God.
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Quagmire, shut up. We're here.
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You drove us to Virginia?!
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All right, look, we're sorry
we deceived you girls,
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00:07:36,324 --> 00:07:37,658
but this is important.
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The trail leads to a
bartender who works here.
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He could be the source
of the dirty joke.
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Hi, there. What can I
do for you gentlemen?
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We've traveled a very long way
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00:07:54,142 --> 00:07:55,943
to find out where
you heard this joke.
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00:07:56,011 --> 00:07:58,279
Oh...
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00:07:58,346 --> 00:07:59,980
I remember that.
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00:08:00,048 --> 00:08:01,749
I heard it from that guy.
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00:08:03,918 --> 00:08:04,785
Cleveland?!
211
00:08:04,853 --> 00:08:06,120
Hey, fellas.
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00:08:06,187 --> 00:08:07,421
Holy crap!
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00:08:07,489 --> 00:08:09,089
Who knew we'd run into you here?
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00:08:09,157 --> 00:08:11,392
Except everyone,
if Fox ruined it in the promos.
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00:08:11,459 --> 00:08:13,294
What a surprise this is.
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00:08:17,766 --> 00:08:20,467
Donna, it's so nice of you
to invite us to stay here.
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00:08:20,535 --> 00:08:22,102
Oh, Lois, it's my pleasure.
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00:08:22,170 --> 00:08:24,738
I don't think we've seen you
folks since the wedding.
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00:08:24,806 --> 00:08:26,273
Still waiting on that gift.
220
00:08:26,341 --> 00:08:28,742
The gift was the show.
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00:08:28,810 --> 00:08:30,477
Uh, she doesn't know
what she's talking about.
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00:08:30,545 --> 00:08:32,579
It's great to have
you-all down here.
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00:08:32,647 --> 00:08:33,947
Hey, you know, Cleveland,
you better hide
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00:08:34,015 --> 00:08:35,015
the markers from your kids.
225
00:08:35,083 --> 00:08:36,550
Somebody colored in your Jesus.
226
00:08:36,618 --> 00:08:39,687
Somebody colored in your ass
with too much ass, fat-ass.
227
00:08:39,754 --> 00:08:41,288
All right, Cleveland,
let's get down to business.
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00:08:41,356 --> 00:08:42,756
Who told you the joke?
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00:08:42,824 --> 00:08:46,193
A bellhop at the Royale
Hotel in Washington, DC.
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00:08:46,261 --> 00:08:48,329
I met him when I took
Cleveland Jr. there
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00:08:48,396 --> 00:08:50,164
to see the Lincoln Memorial.
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00:08:50,231 --> 00:08:53,133
But then Daddy got frustrated
'cause he couldn't find it,
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00:08:53,201 --> 00:08:55,402
so we just ate fast
food in the parking lot.
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00:08:55,470 --> 00:08:57,838
I'm just saying,
maybe put up a damn sign.
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00:08:57,906 --> 00:09:00,607
Anyway, the bellhop's
name is Sal Russo.
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00:09:00,675 --> 00:09:03,243
He knows every dirty
joke ever written.
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00:09:03,311 --> 00:09:05,212
Then that's the guy
we got to talk to.
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00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:07,748
Everyone, don't get too used
to being around black people,
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00:09:07,816 --> 00:09:10,084
'cause we are going
to Washington, DC.
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00:09:10,151 --> 00:09:11,685
Now, wait a minute, Peter.
241
00:09:11,753 --> 00:09:14,221
Donna's been nice enough to
invite us to stay the weekend,
242
00:09:14,289 --> 00:09:15,789
and frankly, that sounds better
243
00:09:15,857 --> 00:09:17,624
than continuing this
wild-goose chase.
244
00:09:17,692 --> 00:09:19,993
Well, Lois, if you and
Bonnie want to stay here,
245
00:09:20,061 --> 00:09:21,795
maybe Cleveland could join us.
246
00:09:21,863 --> 00:09:23,197
Yeah, it'd be just like old times.
247
00:09:23,264 --> 00:09:24,598
What do you say, Cleveland?
248
00:09:24,666 --> 00:09:25,866
Oh, I don't know.
249
00:09:25,934 --> 00:09:27,401
I've kind of got my own life now.
250
00:09:27,469 --> 00:09:29,636
All right, well, if you have
a sudden change of heart
251
00:09:29,704 --> 00:09:31,438
and you want to chase
us down the street
252
00:09:31,506 --> 00:09:33,540
as we're pulling away,
you know where to find us.
253
00:09:46,788 --> 00:09:48,188
Okay, guys, I got one.
254
00:09:48,256 --> 00:09:51,325
Would you rather get
a massage from a man
255
00:09:51,393 --> 00:09:53,894
or surgery from a female doctor?
256
00:09:53,962 --> 00:09:54,862
Wow.
257
00:09:54,929 --> 00:09:56,230
Like, minor surgery?
258
00:09:56,297 --> 00:09:57,564
No, serious surgery.
259
00:09:57,632 --> 00:09:58,866
Like a blown kidney or something.
260
00:09:58,933 --> 00:09:59,900
Geez.
261
00:09:59,968 --> 00:10:01,402
Good question, Peter.
262
00:10:01,469 --> 00:10:02,636
Is the man gay? No.
263
00:10:02,704 --> 00:10:04,938
Is the female doctor at
least Jewish or Asian?
264
00:10:05,006 --> 00:10:06,240
No, but, actually, you know what?
265
00:10:06,307 --> 00:10:07,908
I'm going to take it up a notch.
266
00:10:07,976 --> 00:10:10,310
Hispanic female doctor
or gay male masseuse?
267
00:10:10,378 --> 00:10:12,112
Hispanic from Spain?
268
00:10:12,180 --> 00:10:13,547
No.
269
00:10:13,615 --> 00:10:14,915
Ah. Ah. Ah.
270
00:10:14,983 --> 00:10:16,383
So, it's basically-
would you rather
271
00:10:16,451 --> 00:10:18,585
get a massage from
a gay man or die?
272
00:10:18,653 --> 00:10:19,820
All right, I got another one.
273
00:10:19,888 --> 00:10:21,688
Let Amy Winehouse
spit in your mouth
274
00:10:21,756 --> 00:10:24,291
or eat a raw slice of
Anderson Cooper's ass?
275
00:10:24,359 --> 00:10:26,326
Sign me up for Cooper.
276
00:10:26,394 --> 00:10:28,829
What the hell?
277
00:10:42,177 --> 00:10:43,277
What the hell was that about?
278
00:10:43,344 --> 00:10:44,411
Who were those guys?
279
00:10:44,479 --> 00:10:46,146
I don't know,
but I'll tell you this--
280
00:10:46,214 --> 00:10:48,916
I saw one of them back
in the bar in Stoolbend.
281
00:10:48,983 --> 00:10:50,451
You think they wereollowing us?
282
00:10:50,518 --> 00:10:53,253
Either that or they got a grudge
against our back windshield.
283
00:10:53,321 --> 00:10:54,888
Ah, Joe, that's so dumb.
284
00:10:54,956 --> 00:10:56,723
Why would anybody be
trying to kill us?
285
00:10:56,791 --> 00:10:59,893
It might be safe to assume
that someone does not want us
286
00:10:59,961 --> 00:11:02,229
to learn the origin of that joke.
287
00:11:02,297 --> 00:11:05,232
We had no idea how right Cleveland was.
288
00:11:05,300 --> 00:11:07,935
And if we had known what lay ahead,
289
00:11:08,002 --> 00:11:09,470
we would've stopped right there
290
00:11:09,537 --> 00:11:10,904
and gone straight back to Quahog.
291
00:11:10,972 --> 00:11:12,339
But we didn't know.
292
00:11:12,407 --> 00:11:13,607
We didn't know.
293
00:11:18,980 --> 00:11:21,381
There it is-- Washington, DC,
294
00:11:21,449 --> 00:11:22,816
the seat of government
295
00:11:22,884 --> 00:11:24,952
for the world's former
most powerful nation.
296
00:11:25,019 --> 00:11:27,588
Wow, those are all the monuments
I read about in school.
297
00:11:27,655 --> 00:11:28,922
There's the Washington Monument.
298
00:11:28,990 --> 00:11:33,260
There's the Obama Monument.
299
00:11:33,328 --> 00:11:35,362
And there's the
Vietnam War Memorial.
300
00:11:35,430 --> 00:11:37,464
Yeah, check out that Vietnamese
guy giving the business
301
00:11:37,532 --> 00:11:38,799
to those Vietnam Vets.
302
00:11:38,867 --> 00:11:41,935
Scoreboard! Scoreboard!
303
00:11:42,003 --> 00:11:43,637
Aw, what happened to your friend?!
304
00:11:43,705 --> 00:11:45,172
Hey, I know that guy!
305
00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:46,273
I kill him!
306
00:11:46,341 --> 00:11:47,508
He cry like a bitch!
307
00:11:47,575 --> 00:11:50,010
Vietnam, undefeated!
308
00:11:54,883 --> 00:11:56,817
All right, this is the hotel
309
00:11:56,885 --> 00:11:58,385
where the bellhop works.
310
00:12:04,225 --> 00:12:06,960
Hey, there he is. Sal!
311
00:12:07,028 --> 00:12:08,428
Well, hey, Cleveland!
312
00:12:08,496 --> 00:12:09,930
What are you doin' here?
313
00:12:09,998 --> 00:12:11,365
I was wondering
314
00:12:11,432 --> 00:12:13,867
if my friends and I could
ask you a few questions.
315
00:12:13,935 --> 00:12:16,303
Yeah, where'd you hear that
dirty joke you told Cleveland?
316
00:12:16,371 --> 00:12:17,871
That's none of your business!
317
00:12:17,939 --> 00:12:18,939
Leave me alone!
318
00:12:19,007 --> 00:12:21,041
Don't let him get away!
319
00:12:28,349 --> 00:12:29,383
Hop on!
320
00:12:38,493 --> 00:12:40,160
Where did he go?!
321
00:12:40,228 --> 00:12:42,596
I think he went that way,
past the Reflecting Pool!
322
00:12:44,866 --> 00:12:46,567
Damn! He's nowhere in sight.
323
00:12:46,634 --> 00:12:48,835
I'll ask these fellas.
Maybe they've seen him.
324
00:12:48,903 --> 00:12:50,504
Excuse me, have you seen...?
325
00:12:50,572 --> 00:12:52,573
H-H-Hold on a second. I'm trying...
326
00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:54,675
Hold on a sec.
Hey, pal, stop talking
327
00:12:54,742 --> 00:12:55,943
while I'm talking, all right?
328
00:12:56,010 --> 00:12:57,544
You want a sandwich
full'a knuckles? Do ya?
329
00:12:57,612 --> 00:12:58,645
All right, that's it.
330
00:12:58,713 --> 00:12:59,580
Cleveland, you take Cleveland.
331
00:12:59,647 --> 00:13:00,714
Joe, you take Joe.
332
00:13:00,782 --> 00:13:01,982
Quagmire, you take Quagmire
333
00:13:02,050 --> 00:13:03,884
and I'll get Fatty McLoudmouth.
334
00:13:08,957 --> 00:13:11,091
It's no use, Peter.
335
00:13:11,159 --> 00:13:12,593
We've lost him.
336
00:13:12,660 --> 00:13:14,561
Our journey had abruptly ended,
337
00:13:14,629 --> 00:13:16,163
and the trail had gone cold.
338
00:13:18,967 --> 00:13:20,167
Well, I guess
339
00:13:20,234 --> 00:13:22,269
we're never gonna find
the source of that joke.
340
00:13:22,337 --> 00:13:23,770
I guess there's nothing to do now
341
00:13:23,838 --> 00:13:25,238
but head back home.
342
00:13:25,306 --> 00:13:26,373
Stop right where you are!
343
00:13:27,108 --> 00:13:27,941
Down on the ground!
344
00:13:29,944 --> 00:13:32,012
We were all terrified
that this would prove
345
00:13:32,080 --> 00:13:34,414
to be an unexpected end to our journey.
346
00:13:34,482 --> 00:13:38,118
But little did we know,
our journey was far from over.
347
00:13:40,788 --> 00:13:41,655
Aah! Aah!
348
00:13:41,723 --> 00:13:42,689
Ooh! Oh!
349
00:13:45,093 --> 00:13:46,827
All right, did you get
the parking validated?
350
00:13:46,894 --> 00:13:48,128
Ugh! No.
351
00:13:48,196 --> 00:13:49,863
That was the whole reason we walked
352
00:13:49,893 --> 00:13:50,931
through Crate & Barrel.
353
00:13:54,451 --> 00:13:57,087
We'd been captured,
tied up and kidnapped.
354
00:13:57,242 --> 00:13:58,976
And as if that weren't bad enough,
355
00:13:59,044 --> 00:14:00,678
we found ourselves on a plane,
356
00:14:00,745 --> 00:14:02,112
headed to an unknown destination.
357
00:14:02,180 --> 00:14:03,914
Where the hell are they takin' us?
358
00:14:03,982 --> 00:14:06,316
I don't know,
but I got a bad feeling.
359
00:14:08,019 --> 00:14:09,720
Every plane.
360
00:14:09,788 --> 00:14:11,822
Every plane there's
gotta be a crying baby
361
00:14:11,890 --> 00:14:13,624
and a mother ignoring it.
362
00:14:13,692 --> 00:14:17,461
Yes, he's crying. Babies cry.
363
00:14:17,529 --> 00:14:19,963
After flying for what seemed
like hours,
364
00:14:20,031 --> 00:14:22,599
we found ourselves approaching
a strange island
365
00:14:22,667 --> 00:14:24,101
on the horizon.
366
00:15:05,777 --> 00:15:07,611
What the hell is this place?
367
00:15:07,679 --> 00:15:10,247
It is that which you have
been seeking, gentlemen.
368
00:15:10,315 --> 00:15:11,248
Who are you?
369
00:15:11,316 --> 00:15:12,750
I am the dean.
370
00:15:12,817 --> 00:15:14,118
The dean of what?
371
00:15:14,185 --> 00:15:17,521
The Dean of the Secret Order
of Dirty Joke Writers.
372
00:15:22,494 --> 00:15:24,361
Wow.
373
00:15:24,429 --> 00:15:26,430
So these are the people who write
374
00:15:26,498 --> 00:15:28,165
all the world's dirty jokes?
375
00:15:28,233 --> 00:15:29,600
Indeed they are.
376
00:15:29,667 --> 00:15:31,235
Hey, isn't that Stephen Hawking?
377
00:15:31,302 --> 00:15:33,537
So the housewife tells the plumber,
378
00:15:33,605 --> 00:15:36,140
"Okay, you cleed my pipes,
379
00:15:36,207 --> 00:15:39,510
now get to work on that sink."
380
00:15:41,913 --> 00:15:43,213
And there's Bill Gates.
381
00:15:43,281 --> 00:15:44,648
Is there some joke area
382
00:15:44,716 --> 00:15:46,350
of a beaver eating a woodpecker?
383
00:15:46,417 --> 00:15:48,185
Is that something...
? Would that work?
384
00:15:48,253 --> 00:15:51,255
Wow. These are some of the
world's smartest people.
385
00:15:51,322 --> 00:15:52,422
Not a lot of women.
386
00:15:52,490 --> 00:15:54,892
Yeah, not a lot of women.
387
00:15:54,959 --> 00:15:56,693
What are they all doing here?
388
00:15:56,761 --> 00:15:59,029
Well, many of the world's
greatest geniuses
389
00:15:59,097 --> 00:16:00,798
secretly devote themselves
390
00:16:00,865 --> 00:16:03,200
to coming up with the
world's dirtiest jokes.
391
00:16:03,268 --> 00:16:05,435
Oh, it's been that
way for centuries.
392
00:16:05,503 --> 00:16:07,104
Great men such as Ben Franklin,
393
00:16:07,172 --> 00:16:10,307
Charles Dickens, Albert Einstein.
394
00:16:10,375 --> 00:16:11,508
Shakespeare, of course.
395
00:16:11,576 --> 00:16:13,343
I got a spear you can shake.
396
00:16:13,411 --> 00:16:15,746
Ha! There you go,
put that in one of your jokes.
397
00:16:15,814 --> 00:16:17,948
Let me show you around.
398
00:16:19,417 --> 00:16:20,784
From this room,
399
00:16:20,852 --> 00:16:23,620
we can see the entire
world's joke supply.
400
00:16:23,688 --> 00:16:27,024
This way we can tailor jokes
to where the need is greatest.
401
00:16:27,091 --> 00:16:29,459
Sir, we have a Best Man
giving a toast at a wedding,
402
00:16:29,527 --> 00:16:30,527
and he is just bombing.
403
00:16:30,595 --> 00:16:31,662
Put it up on the screen.
404
00:16:32,664 --> 00:16:35,499
Jim's... Jim's so clumsy,
405
00:16:35,567 --> 00:16:38,902
it's like he's got two
left feet and left hands.
406
00:16:40,572 --> 00:16:42,940
Permission to go to the
"bride is a whore" file, sir.
407
00:16:43,007 --> 00:16:44,007
Permission granted.
408
00:16:45,476 --> 00:16:47,644
Anyway, if Sheila was a road sign,
409
00:16:47,712 --> 00:16:49,680
it would read "Open Trench."
410
00:16:57,021 --> 00:17:00,390
Well, gentlemen,
I hope you've enjoyed
411
00:17:00,458 --> 00:17:01,725
the tour of our facility.
412
00:17:01,793 --> 00:17:03,093
This was amazing!
413
00:17:03,161 --> 00:17:04,461
Guys, we did it!
414
00:17:04,529 --> 00:17:07,231
We found the source of
the world's dirty jokes!
415
00:17:07,298 --> 00:17:10,033
I can't wait to tell all
the guys back at the Clam!
416
00:17:10,101 --> 00:17:12,970
Oh, I'm afraid that's
quite impossible.
417
00:17:13,037 --> 00:17:14,905
What do you mean?
418
00:17:14,973 --> 00:17:16,874
Well, you've seen
our secret island.
419
00:17:16,941 --> 00:17:19,676
You know about our network
of joke distribution agents,
420
00:17:19,744 --> 00:17:21,144
like the bellhop.
421
00:17:21,212 --> 00:17:23,714
We can't allow the
secret to be revealed.
422
00:17:23,781 --> 00:17:27,084
I'm afraid you must stay here
for the rest of your lives.
423
00:17:39,797 --> 00:17:41,665
What are we gonna do now?
424
00:17:41,733 --> 00:17:43,867
We gotta come up
with an escape plan.
425
00:17:46,504 --> 00:17:50,007
Hey, guys, I can see the
plane that brought us here!
426
00:17:50,074 --> 00:17:52,609
If we can figure out a way to get to it,
I can fly us home!
427
00:17:52,677 --> 00:17:53,844
I got an idea.
428
00:17:53,912 --> 00:17:55,512
One of us should
pretend we're hurt,
429
00:17:55,580 --> 00:17:57,781
and when the guards come in
to give him medical attention,
430
00:17:57,849 --> 00:17:58,882
we'll jump 'em!
431
00:17:58,950 --> 00:18:00,083
That's perfect, Joe.
432
00:18:00,151 --> 00:18:01,785
Hey, Cleveland,
you got a pencil on you?
433
00:18:01,853 --> 00:18:02,786
Oh, gosh, I don't know.
434
00:18:02,854 --> 00:18:04,021
Oh, wait, here you go.
435
00:18:04,088 --> 00:18:05,022
Thanks.
436
00:18:05,089 --> 00:18:06,256
Aah! What the hell?!
437
00:18:06,324 --> 00:18:07,658
Hey, help, help!
438
00:18:07,725 --> 00:18:09,026
We have an emergency!
439
00:18:09,093 --> 00:18:10,060
You dick!
440
00:18:10,128 --> 00:18:11,194
What's going on in here?!
441
00:18:11,262 --> 00:18:12,596
This man has been injured!
442
00:18:12,664 --> 00:18:14,031
He needs medical attention!
443
00:18:17,735 --> 00:18:18,936
Come on. Let's get outta here!
444
00:18:24,776 --> 00:18:28,078
All right, let's hurry
up and find a way out!
445
00:18:35,820 --> 00:18:37,287
Well, well,
446
00:18:37,355 --> 00:18:40,390
it's quite clear the four of
you are going to be a problem.
447
00:18:40,458 --> 00:18:42,392
Kill them.
448
00:18:44,862 --> 00:18:47,030
My God, I've done it!
449
00:18:47,098 --> 00:18:49,800
After 80 years of
work and research,
450
00:18:49,867 --> 00:18:51,935
I have written the
greatest dirty joke
451
00:18:52,003 --> 00:18:54,037
in the history of mankind!
452
00:19:05,950 --> 00:19:07,918
Give me that! Not on your life!
453
00:19:07,986 --> 00:19:11,321
Take one step closer
and the paper gets it.
454
00:19:11,389 --> 00:19:14,124
Drop your guns! Do as he says!
455
00:19:23,468 --> 00:19:24,568
Put it out!
456
00:19:24,635 --> 00:19:25,635
Put it out!
457
00:19:27,005 --> 00:19:28,505
Oh, my God!
458
00:19:28,573 --> 00:19:31,775
It's heading for the first
dead baby joke ever written!
459
00:20:08,012 --> 00:20:10,847
Look what we did.
460
00:20:10,915 --> 00:20:13,383
We destroyed a place
that brought joy
461
00:20:13,451 --> 00:20:15,786
and laughter to the entire world.
462
00:20:15,853 --> 00:20:17,721
Is that the end of all dirty jokes?
463
00:20:17,789 --> 00:20:19,289
Well, maybe it is.
464
00:20:19,357 --> 00:20:22,092
But Peter's got the best one
ever written right there.
465
00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:23,727
Read it, Peter.
466
00:20:23,795 --> 00:20:24,795
"Guess what?
467
00:20:24,862 --> 00:20:26,630
Chicken butt."
468
00:20:26,697 --> 00:20:28,432
That's it? That's the joke?
469
00:20:28,499 --> 00:20:30,400
No, this is the joke!
470
00:20:31,602 --> 00:20:32,969
Now take me back to Virginia,
471
00:20:33,037 --> 00:20:34,638
so I can put some
Bacitracin on this
472
00:20:34,705 --> 00:20:36,206
and pork my wife!
473
00:20:44,715 --> 00:20:47,150
It was a great adventure.
474
00:20:47,218 --> 00:20:49,486
And it was great having Cleveland
along with us again.
475
00:20:49,554 --> 00:20:51,121
He hasn't changed a bit.
476
00:20:51,189 --> 00:20:52,589
Didn't grab one check.
477
00:20:52,657 --> 00:20:54,491
Anyway, that's our story
478
00:20:54,559 --> 00:20:56,626
about the splendid source
of all dirty jokes.
479
00:20:56,694 --> 00:20:58,695
For those of you who stuck around
till the end,
480
00:20:58,763 --> 00:21:00,363
you deserve a reward.
481
00:21:00,431 --> 00:21:02,833
So here's some footage of an ape
scratching himself.
482
00:21:04,735 --> 00:21:06,803
See, the March of Dimes wanted
this air time
483
00:21:06,871 --> 00:21:08,839
to talk about cancer kids or somethin',
484
00:21:08,906 --> 00:21:11,074
but I was like, "No way!
Monkey scratch!"
485
00:21:12,947 --> 00:21:16,881
-- Sync, corrected by elderman --
-- for www.addic7ed.com --