1
00:00:37,157 --> 00:00:38,324
Ow!
2
00:00:38,375 --> 00:00:40,276
There's a rock right there!
3
00:00:40,342 --> 00:00:42,266
There's a huge rock right there,
4
00:00:42,267 --> 00:00:43,334
and it's covered up by grass
5
00:00:43,402 --> 00:00:44,986
and there's no way
you can see it.
6
00:00:45,054 --> 00:00:46,454
And I got lucky.
7
00:00:46,522 --> 00:00:48,172
But someone else could
hurt themselves,
8
00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:51,426
and, and a small cut is a, is a
death sentence in these times,
9
00:00:51,493 --> 00:00:53,428
so let's just, you know,
let's...
10
00:00:53,495 --> 00:00:56,030
let's get these rocks out
of here.
11
00:00:57,957 --> 00:01:01,957
♪ Family Guy 10x12 ♪
Livin' on a Prayer
Original Air Date on January 29, 2012
12
00:01:01,982 --> 00:01:05,982
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
13
00:01:15,801 --> 00:01:18,669
♪ There's a fuzzy bunny
rabbit on the train ♪
14
00:01:18,737 --> 00:01:21,205
♪ There's a fuzzy bunny rabbit
on the train ♪
15
00:01:21,273 --> 00:01:23,741
♪ And he's wiggling his nose
and his little bunny ts ♪
16
00:01:23,809 --> 00:01:26,494
♪ There's a fuzzy bunny rabbit
on the train. ♪
17
00:01:26,562 --> 00:01:28,596
Okay, what else we got
on that train?
18
00:01:28,664 --> 00:01:30,281
A kitty cat.
A doggy.
19
00:01:30,349 --> 00:01:32,450
Kevin Smith 'cause he's too fat
to ride a plane!
20
00:01:32,518 --> 00:01:34,118
Okay, I heard kitty cat.
21
00:01:34,186 --> 00:01:37,388
♪ Oh... there's a kitty cat
a-riding on the train ♪
22
00:01:37,456 --> 00:01:38,823
God, you know,
I don't know why
23
00:01:38,891 --> 00:01:40,625
this guy's wife isn't here
watching this stuff.
24
00:01:40,692 --> 00:01:42,660
If I were her,
I'd be here every show.
25
00:01:42,728 --> 00:01:44,862
♪ There's a kitty cat
a-riding on the train. ♪
26
00:01:44,947 --> 00:01:48,366
Thanks, everybody.
See you next week.
27
00:01:48,450 --> 00:01:49,951
Yay! He's a good singer.
28
00:01:50,018 --> 00:01:51,552
Yeah, I've been catching
his library shows
29
00:01:51,620 --> 00:01:53,688
since there were only, like,
three or four kids here.
30
00:01:53,756 --> 00:01:55,139
You should have
been here, man.
31
00:01:55,207 --> 00:01:56,374
Those were the shows.
32
00:01:56,442 --> 00:01:58,526
Oh, looks like
somebody made a friend.
33
00:01:58,594 --> 00:02:00,461
I know.
Aren't they cute together?
34
00:02:00,529 --> 00:02:02,713
Adorable. I'm Lois.
35
00:02:02,798 --> 00:02:04,165
Hi, I'm Hope.
36
00:02:04,233 --> 00:02:06,968
Any relation
to Bob Hope?
37
00:02:07,019 --> 00:02:08,169
I'm kidding!
38
00:02:08,220 --> 00:02:09,420
I'm kind of known
for having
39
00:02:09,488 --> 00:02:10,822
a twisted sense
of humor.
40
00:02:10,889 --> 00:02:12,723
Oh, don't worry,
I watch Regis and Kelly.
41
00:02:12,791 --> 00:02:14,008
I can handle it.
42
00:02:14,076 --> 00:02:15,643
Oh, so, you know.
43
00:02:15,711 --> 00:02:17,344
This is my husband Ben.
44
00:02:17,396 --> 00:02:18,596
Hi, glad to know you.
45
00:02:18,664 --> 00:02:20,431
Gosh, you know,
our little Scotty seems
46
00:02:20,499 --> 00:02:22,884
to be having such a good time
with your son.
47
00:02:22,951 --> 00:02:24,202
Would you be interested
48
00:02:24,269 --> 00:02:25,920
in getting them together
for a playdate?
49
00:02:25,988 --> 00:02:28,589
Oh, that sounds
like a wonderful idea.
50
00:02:28,657 --> 00:02:30,091
Look at them.
They're getting along
51
00:02:30,159 --> 00:02:32,126
like Billy Bob Thornton
and his cat.
52
00:02:32,194 --> 00:02:33,995
Billy Bob?
53
00:02:34,062 --> 00:02:35,763
Leave me alone!
I'm taking a bath!
54
00:02:39,618 --> 00:02:41,152
Stewie, do you want
to be the Autobots
55
00:02:41,220 --> 00:02:42,653
or the Decepticons?
56
00:02:42,721 --> 00:02:44,355
What's with all
these labels, man?
57
00:02:44,423 --> 00:02:46,724
Autobots, Decepticons,
gay, straight--
58
00:02:46,792 --> 00:02:48,759
just pick a few robots,
and let's party.
59
00:02:48,844 --> 00:02:50,411
Hey, what's
going on in here?
60
00:02:50,479 --> 00:02:52,163
Oh, hello, Brian.
We're playing Transformers.
61
00:02:52,231 --> 00:02:53,931
Oh, cool.
Who's this little guy?
62
00:02:54,016 --> 00:02:55,950
It's my new friend, Scotty.
63
00:02:56,018 --> 00:02:57,351
Do you mind? We're busy.
Oh.
64
00:02:57,419 --> 00:02:58,986
Hi, doggie.
You want to play with us?
65
00:02:59,054 --> 00:03:00,254
Scotty, Scotty, it's fine.
It's fine.
66
00:03:00,322 --> 00:03:01,456
You don't have to.
67
00:03:01,523 --> 00:03:02,523
He doesn't know
Transformers.
68
00:03:02,591 --> 00:03:03,791
Yeah, actually,
I-I'd love to play.
69
00:03:03,859 --> 00:03:04,959
Wh-Who should I be?
70
00:03:05,027 --> 00:03:06,611
Should I be one
of these guys?
71
00:03:06,695 --> 00:03:08,663
I-I'll be this guy.
Who's this guy, huh?
72
00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:09,797
What's this guy's story?
73
00:03:09,865 --> 00:03:11,149
That's Optimus Prime.
74
00:03:11,216 --> 00:03:12,750
You can't be him.
Scotty's Optimus Prime.
75
00:03:12,818 --> 00:03:15,319
Oh, all right. Well, I'll be,
I'll be this guy.
76
00:03:15,387 --> 00:03:16,754
How about this guy?
77
00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:19,056
What was that?
Did you just growl?
78
00:03:19,124 --> 00:03:21,492
What robot growls?
That's Starscream.
79
00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:23,027
He's a Decepticon.
I'm the Decepticons.
80
00:03:23,095 --> 00:03:24,662
Look, why don't you
just beat it?
81
00:03:24,730 --> 00:03:26,264
All right,
all right, relax.
82
00:03:26,331 --> 00:03:28,399
I'll-I'll just, I'll be
this guy over here.
83
00:03:28,467 --> 00:03:30,468
That's He-Man.
We're playing Transformers.
84
00:03:30,536 --> 00:03:32,904
Well, maybe this is the one
where He-Man visits.
85
00:03:32,971 --> 00:03:35,323
Brian, how is He-Man
supposed to get to Cybertron?
86
00:03:35,390 --> 00:03:36,657
Hey, "Up, up,
and away," right?
87
00:03:36,725 --> 00:03:37,925
He-Man doesn't fly.
88
00:03:37,993 --> 00:03:39,927
Look, why are you being
such a dick about this?
89
00:03:39,995 --> 00:03:41,362
I'm just trying
to join in.
90
00:03:41,430 --> 00:03:43,264
Yeah, you don't know what
you're talking about, okay?
91
00:03:43,332 --> 00:03:44,448
You sound like...
That's not fair.
92
00:03:44,516 --> 00:03:45,833
I think I'm doing
pretty well.
93
00:03:45,901 --> 00:03:47,351
No, you don't know
the characters, Brian.
94
00:03:47,419 --> 00:03:48,519
You don't know
the characters.
95
00:03:48,587 --> 00:03:49,921
If you could hear
yourself right now,
96
00:03:49,988 --> 00:03:51,088
you would not stop
throwing up.
97
00:03:51,156 --> 00:03:52,356
You can't just put He-Man
98
00:03:52,424 --> 00:03:53,524
in Transformers'
world, all right?
99
00:03:53,592 --> 00:03:55,793
He wouldn't be able
to get to Cybertron
100
00:03:55,861 --> 00:03:58,663
because he lives in Eternia,
and Eternia is in
101
00:03:58,730 --> 00:03:59,931
an entirely
different dimension.
102
00:03:59,998 --> 00:04:01,866
He can just take
his rocket ship.
103
00:04:01,934 --> 00:04:04,835
Get... get out of here.
104
00:04:08,957 --> 00:04:12,059
- We now return to The Post
- "Roe vs. Wade"Brady Bunch.
105
00:04:12,127 --> 00:04:14,562
Greg! Marcia! Get down here!
106
00:04:17,900 --> 00:04:20,151
Oh, you two are such a handful!
107
00:04:27,492 --> 00:04:29,277
Oh, I'm getting
some steam.
108
00:04:29,344 --> 00:04:30,711
Picking up steam
here, Scotty.
109
00:04:30,779 --> 00:04:31,896
You'd better look out.
110
00:04:31,964 --> 00:04:33,464
I don't feel so well.
111
00:04:35,367 --> 00:04:38,669
Uh, kind of bad timing,
but gin.
112
00:04:38,737 --> 00:04:42,156
Hey, Lois, that
not-Stewie kid fell over!
113
00:04:42,207 --> 00:04:44,075
Oh, my God,
he's unconscious!
114
00:04:44,142 --> 00:04:45,309
Peter, what happened?!
115
00:04:45,377 --> 00:04:47,211
Eh, you know me, Lois,
I don't pry.
116
00:04:47,279 --> 00:04:48,913
Peter, he's not moving!
117
00:04:48,981 --> 00:04:50,615
We gotta get him
to the hospital!
118
00:04:50,682 --> 00:04:52,617
You got it, Lois!
To the Peter-rang!
119
00:05:03,095 --> 00:05:04,295
Just for the record,
120
00:05:04,363 --> 00:05:06,230
I was at the hospital
for a brief moment.
121
00:05:09,501 --> 00:05:11,002
Mrs. Griffin,
it's a good thing
122
00:05:11,069 --> 00:05:12,336
you brought this child in.
123
00:05:12,404 --> 00:05:13,704
Why? Is he okay?
124
00:05:13,772 --> 00:05:15,006
I'm afraid
he's very sick.
125
00:05:15,073 --> 00:05:17,441
In fact, his lab-work
shows he is suffering
126
00:05:17,509 --> 00:05:19,043
from Hodgkin's lymphoma.
127
00:05:19,111 --> 00:05:21,145
Oh, my God!
128
00:05:21,213 --> 00:05:22,813
Are you saying
Scotty has cancer?!
129
00:05:22,881 --> 00:05:24,849
I don't know, I didn't
read the whole Wikipedia entry,
130
00:05:24,916 --> 00:05:27,652
but the good news is that what
he has is highly treatable
131
00:05:27,719 --> 00:05:28,853
with radiation first,
132
00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:30,554
and if necessary,
chemotherapy.
133
00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:36,427
Oh, for God's sake.
134
00:05:36,495 --> 00:05:37,995
Look, do you have
any idea
135
00:05:38,063 --> 00:05:39,397
how expensive
medical school is?
136
00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:40,698
No, I don't.
137
00:05:40,766 --> 00:05:42,700
Well, it's probably
pretty expensive.
138
00:05:42,768 --> 00:05:44,986
Lois! We came as soon
as we got your call.
139
00:05:45,053 --> 00:05:46,621
Oh, Hope, Ben,
140
00:05:46,688 --> 00:05:49,223
I'm so sorry to have
to tell you this,
141
00:05:49,291 --> 00:05:50,925
but Scotty has...
142
00:05:50,993 --> 00:05:52,293
Cancer. We know.
143
00:05:52,361 --> 00:05:53,327
You do?
144
00:05:53,395 --> 00:05:54,795
Yes, we're aware
of his condition.
145
00:05:54,863 --> 00:05:56,931
But you shouldn't have
brought him to the hospital
146
00:05:56,999 --> 00:05:58,532
without talking to us first.
147
00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:00,735
Why wouldn't we bring him?
He was unconscious.
148
00:06:00,802 --> 00:06:02,503
He clearly
needed treatment.
149
00:06:02,571 --> 00:06:04,905
Oh, no, he doesn't
receive treatment.
150
00:06:04,973 --> 00:06:05,840
What?!
151
00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:08,009
We're Christian Scientists.
152
00:06:08,076 --> 00:06:09,744
We don't accept medical care
for ourselves,
153
00:06:09,811 --> 00:06:11,512
and we don't permit it
for our children.
154
00:06:11,580 --> 00:06:12,813
But your son
has cancer!
155
00:06:12,881 --> 00:06:14,265
Wait a minute.
Christian Science.
156
00:06:14,333 --> 00:06:15,800
Is that, is that
that thing
157
00:06:15,867 --> 00:06:17,268
all them gaybo
Hollywood actors do
158
00:06:17,336 --> 00:06:19,820
to keep their stuff away
from other guys' butts?
159
00:06:19,888 --> 00:06:21,956
Don't you understand?
Scotty needs help.
160
00:06:22,024 --> 00:06:23,758
And he'll get it...
through faith.
161
00:06:23,825 --> 00:06:24,925
That's right.
162
00:06:24,993 --> 00:06:27,261
We will heal him
with the power of prayer.
163
00:06:28,864 --> 00:06:31,315
Y-You can't just let them
just walk out of here!
164
00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:32,850
Oh, I think
they'll be back.
165
00:06:32,918 --> 00:06:34,852
Are those their keys?
No, they're my keys.
166
00:06:39,434 --> 00:06:41,035
And they said because
of their faith,
167
00:06:41,052 --> 00:06:42,552
they don't believe
in medicine.
168
00:06:42,620 --> 00:06:45,055
Mom, I think there's a lot
of religions that do that.
169
00:06:45,123 --> 00:06:47,891
Well, that may be, Meg, but that
poor little baby has cancer,
170
00:06:47,959 --> 00:06:50,160
and they're just gonna take him
home and pray over him?!
171
00:06:50,228 --> 00:06:51,528
Well, that's what they do.
172
00:06:51,596 --> 00:06:53,230
They believe that disease
is just an illusion.
173
00:06:53,298 --> 00:06:56,066
And the only way to fight it
is to make your faith stronger.
174
00:06:56,134 --> 00:06:58,635
Illusions?! You want to
talk about illusions?!
175
00:06:58,703 --> 00:07:00,837
If you die tomorrow,
176
00:07:00,905 --> 00:07:03,023
you think we're gonna be devastated!
But you know what?!
177
00:07:03,091 --> 00:07:05,258
We're just gonna go out
and buy another dog!
178
00:07:05,326 --> 00:07:07,194
And maybe this dog
will fetch a stick
179
00:07:07,261 --> 00:07:09,329
and bring me my slippers
instead of prattling on
180
00:07:09,397 --> 00:07:11,365
about the pros and cons
of various religions!
181
00:07:11,432 --> 00:07:13,433
Chris, I think you've had
too much sugar cereal.
182
00:07:13,501 --> 00:07:15,602
I think I haven't had enough!
183
00:07:17,071 --> 00:07:19,206
Peter, I have to go talk
to the Jennings
184
00:07:19,273 --> 00:07:22,159
and ask them to reconsider
getting treatment for Scotty.
185
00:07:22,226 --> 00:07:23,460
I'm going with
you, Lois.
186
00:07:23,528 --> 00:07:24,728
Yeah, I'll go, too.
187
00:07:24,796 --> 00:07:26,663
All right, but try
to keep your mouth shut, okay?
188
00:07:26,731 --> 00:07:28,198
You have a habit
of saying the wrong thing.
189
00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:31,535
During his 22-year reign,
190
00:07:31,602 --> 00:07:34,638
this French monarch known
as "The Spider King" had
191
00:07:34,706 --> 00:07:37,941
an ongoing feud with Charles
the Bold, Duke of Burgundy.
192
00:07:38,009 --> 00:07:38,842
Peter?
193
00:07:38,910 --> 00:07:40,544
Who was King Louis XII?
194
00:07:40,611 --> 00:07:44,481
Ooh, I'm sorry, Peter, we were
looking for King Louis XI.
195
00:07:44,549 --> 00:07:46,850
Ah, damn it, I knew that!
196
00:07:46,918 --> 00:07:48,618
Ah, well, me
in the
197
00:07:48,686 --> 00:07:50,354
with a big,
black.
198
00:07:50,421 --> 00:07:52,456
King Louis XI.
199
00:07:52,523 --> 00:07:53,690
Tim, select.
200
00:07:58,863 --> 00:08:01,665
Oh, Lois, Peter,
come on in.
201
00:08:01,732 --> 00:08:03,834
We were just praying
for Scotty's recovery.
202
00:08:03,901 --> 00:08:05,602
If you'd like,
you can join us.
203
00:08:05,670 --> 00:08:07,788
Well, that's what we wanted
to talk to you about.
204
00:08:07,872 --> 00:08:09,906
You'd better not just have
church toys.
205
00:08:09,974 --> 00:08:12,692
Look, I don't mean to question
your religious beliefs,
206
00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:14,761
but as a mother,
I just can't bear the thought
207
00:08:14,829 --> 00:08:17,431
of little Scotty
not getting the help he needs.
208
00:08:17,498 --> 00:08:19,132
You really needn't worry, Lois.
209
00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:20,767
Scotty will get all
the help he needs.
210
00:08:20,835 --> 00:08:21,802
From where?
211
00:08:21,869 --> 00:08:23,420
From here.
212
00:08:23,488 --> 00:08:25,489
Science and Health with Key
to the Scriptures
213
00:08:25,556 --> 00:08:27,324
by Mary Baker Eddy?
214
00:08:27,392 --> 00:08:28,458
Let me see that.
215
00:08:30,428 --> 00:08:33,397
This is your god?! A woman?!
216
00:08:33,464 --> 00:08:35,432
Well, she's the founder
of our faith.
217
00:08:35,500 --> 00:08:38,101
Oh, really? So with this book
from the 1800s,
218
00:08:38,169 --> 00:08:41,138
you can pray away paralysis
or terminal illness?
219
00:08:41,205 --> 00:08:43,306
Yes, we would pray for
anyone who's afflicted.
220
00:08:43,374 --> 00:08:45,909
Well, then I'll tell you who you
should really be praying for.
221
00:08:45,977 --> 00:08:46,943
Out-of-work clowns.
222
00:08:57,555 --> 00:08:59,156
I need 40.
223
00:09:04,328 --> 00:09:05,962
Ben, Hope, please,
224
00:09:06,030 --> 00:09:08,899
I just want to do anything
I can to help your son.
225
00:09:08,966 --> 00:09:11,334
Well, you can, Lois.
Stay and pray with us.
226
00:09:11,402 --> 00:09:13,170
I think you'll find
that with God's love
227
00:09:13,237 --> 00:09:14,704
and a true belief,
228
00:09:14,772 --> 00:09:16,740
all manner of miracles
are possible.
229
00:09:16,808 --> 00:09:18,875
Look, I'm a churchgoer, too,
230
00:09:18,943 --> 00:09:21,378
but sometimes prayer
isn't enough.
231
00:09:21,446 --> 00:09:22,813
He needs professional
medical care.
232
00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:24,781
You know, Lois, this couch
would be perfect
233
00:09:24,849 --> 00:09:26,817
for one of your red wine
pass-outs.
234
00:09:26,884 --> 00:09:28,518
Look, we appreciate
your concern, Lois,
235
00:09:28,586 --> 00:09:29,920
but Scotty is our son,
236
00:09:29,987 --> 00:09:32,456
and we have to tend
to him as we see fit.
237
00:09:32,523 --> 00:09:35,459
But your son is sick!
He needs help!
238
00:09:35,526 --> 00:09:37,461
Um, does your god also not
believe in
239
00:09:37,528 --> 00:09:38,778
putting out snacks
for the guests?
240
00:09:38,846 --> 00:09:40,046
Come on, Lois.
241
00:09:40,114 --> 00:09:41,431
I think we're wasting
our time here.
242
00:09:41,499 --> 00:09:43,550
They're obviously very committed
to their beliefs.
243
00:09:43,634 --> 00:09:45,335
But their beliefs
are crazy, Brian.
244
00:09:45,403 --> 00:09:47,337
I don't know
who's crazier--
245
00:09:47,405 --> 00:09:49,356
these people or those
Seventh-Day Adventists.
246
00:09:49,423 --> 00:09:50,490
I'm a Methodist.
247
00:09:50,558 --> 00:09:52,259
We believe that
the Lord is our Savior,
248
00:09:52,326 --> 00:09:54,728
and we remember Him
by going to church
249
00:09:54,795 --> 00:09:56,229
and praising Him
every Sunday.
250
00:09:56,297 --> 00:09:57,564
I'm a Seventh-Day
Adventist.
251
00:09:57,632 --> 00:09:59,666
We believe all the same
things that you believe,
252
00:09:59,734 --> 00:10:01,234
but we go to church
on Saturdays.
253
00:10:01,302 --> 00:10:03,236
What...?!
254
00:10:05,189 --> 00:10:06,490
Ga-ga-ga-ga-gahh!
255
00:10:06,541 --> 00:10:07,541
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
256
00:10:07,625 --> 00:10:09,559
Hoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo!
Hoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo!
257
00:10:12,446 --> 00:10:14,047
I know it's
frustrating, Lois,
258
00:10:14,115 --> 00:10:16,183
but the fact is,
there are no laws that say
259
00:10:16,250 --> 00:10:18,618
those people have to take
their child to the doctor.
260
00:10:18,686 --> 00:10:20,120
How can that be?
261
00:10:20,188 --> 00:10:22,756
Children are citizens, too.
They should have rights.
262
00:10:22,823 --> 00:10:25,158
Well, it's
a tricky area, Lois.
263
00:10:25,226 --> 00:10:27,561
You could file a suit,
but that could take months,
264
00:10:27,628 --> 00:10:29,196
and even then,
there's no guarantee
265
00:10:29,263 --> 00:10:30,897
the court wouldn't support
the parents' right
266
00:10:30,965 --> 00:10:32,265
to practice their religion.
267
00:10:32,333 --> 00:10:34,401
How could we live in
a country that would allow
268
00:10:34,468 --> 00:10:35,936
a sick child to die?
269
00:10:36,003 --> 00:10:38,622
Look, this country was founded
by people who came here
270
00:10:38,689 --> 00:10:40,156
to escape
religious persecution.
271
00:10:40,224 --> 00:10:42,592
They made sure we all had
a right to religious freedom,
272
00:10:42,660 --> 00:10:44,694
and it's my job
to protect that.
273
00:10:44,762 --> 00:10:46,363
So there's nothing
we can do?
274
00:10:46,430 --> 00:10:50,133
You could contribute
to the Policeman's Ball.
275
00:10:50,201 --> 00:10:51,183
What?!
276
00:10:51,208 --> 00:10:53,188
What does that have
to do with a sick child?
277
00:10:53,237 --> 00:10:54,738
Look, it's
a nice night out,
278
00:10:54,805 --> 00:10:56,172
you're eating
at a fancy buffet,
279
00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:58,041
the captain does
his Al Pacino...
280
00:10:58,109 --> 00:11:00,410
Joe, we're really more
of a Fireman's Ball family.
281
00:11:00,478 --> 00:11:03,246
Oh, yeah? Are the firemen gonna
come and put out the rape?!
282
00:11:04,865 --> 00:11:06,533
Peter, we can't
let this happen.
283
00:11:06,601 --> 00:11:08,134
I-I mean, we're parents.
284
00:11:08,202 --> 00:11:10,003
What if this was
one of our kids?
285
00:11:10,071 --> 00:11:11,555
It's too bad we're
not the A-Team.
286
00:11:11,622 --> 00:11:13,723
'Cause then we could just go
in there and steal that kid.
287
00:11:13,791 --> 00:11:15,458
I don't know
about that, Peter.
288
00:11:15,526 --> 00:11:17,010
Kidnapping is
against the law.
289
00:11:17,078 --> 00:11:18,845
It's too bad we're
not Taken from Taken.
290
00:11:18,913 --> 00:11:20,914
Then I could dip my
head in brown paint
291
00:11:20,982 --> 00:11:23,049
and galumph around Europe
looking for my hot daughter.
292
00:11:23,117 --> 00:11:25,068
Although is it any worse
than what they're doing?
293
00:11:25,136 --> 00:11:26,703
They're letting a kid die.
294
00:11:26,771 --> 00:11:28,004
It's too bad we're
not Dragonheart.
295
00:11:28,072 --> 00:11:29,772
Then we could just fly
around on a dragon
296
00:11:29,824 --> 00:11:30,724
and forget
about all this.
297
00:11:30,791 --> 00:11:31,925
You know what?
298
00:11:31,993 --> 00:11:33,426
That's exactly
what we should do.
299
00:11:33,494 --> 00:11:35,528
What? What the hell are
you talking about?
300
00:11:35,596 --> 00:11:37,397
I'm talking about
us going in there
301
00:11:37,465 --> 00:11:39,499
and taking that kid
and getting him some help.
302
00:11:39,567 --> 00:11:41,034
I mean, I know it's wrong,
303
00:11:41,102 --> 00:11:42,686
but it's better than
just letting him die.
304
00:11:42,753 --> 00:11:44,120
Hey, that's not
a bad idea.
305
00:11:44,188 --> 00:11:45,722
It's like we're doing
a public service.
306
00:11:45,790 --> 00:11:48,091
Like those idiots who get
together to paint a school.
307
00:11:48,159 --> 00:11:50,794
This underachieving,
crime-ridden school
308
00:11:50,861 --> 00:11:52,696
is now fawn beige,
309
00:11:52,763 --> 00:11:55,649
thanks to guilty white people
with no weekend plans!
310
00:11:55,716 --> 00:11:57,550
Yay!
311
00:12:01,756 --> 00:12:03,406
Peter, what the hell?
312
00:12:03,474 --> 00:12:04,741
Where's your ski mask?
313
00:12:04,809 --> 00:12:06,376
It's kind of hard to
breathe in those things,
314
00:12:06,444 --> 00:12:07,744
so I just dressed up
like Harry Potter.
315
00:12:08,813 --> 00:12:09,980
All right, let's go.
316
00:12:10,047 --> 00:12:11,982
Lois, if anything
should happen to us,
317
00:12:12,049 --> 00:12:15,218
I want you to know, I haven't
been happy for a long time.
318
00:12:15,286 --> 00:12:17,887
Yes, Peter, you've
told me that, like, ten times.
319
00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:24,060
All right,
all the lights are out.
320
00:12:24,128 --> 00:12:25,128
They must be asleep.
321
00:12:25,196 --> 00:12:27,297
It's go time.
322
00:12:30,318 --> 00:12:31,751
Peter, what the
hell was that?
323
00:12:31,819 --> 00:12:33,119
That's what you do, Lois.
324
00:12:33,187 --> 00:12:34,638
Okay, now,
take this walkie-talkie
325
00:12:34,705 --> 00:12:36,606
and confirm that I'm at
the various checkpoints.
326
00:12:36,674 --> 00:12:38,408
Oh. Okay.
327
00:12:38,476 --> 00:12:41,044
"Peter up on a telephone pole"?
328
00:12:41,112 --> 00:12:42,212
Check.
329
00:12:42,279 --> 00:12:44,581
"Peter cutting the wires
to the alarm"?
330
00:12:44,649 --> 00:12:45,515
Check.
331
00:12:45,583 --> 00:12:46,850
"Sexy Peter
332
00:12:46,917 --> 00:12:48,418
distracting the guards"?
333
00:12:48,486 --> 00:12:49,953
Check.
334
00:12:50,020 --> 00:12:51,888
Hello, boys.
335
00:12:51,956 --> 00:12:54,207
Come up and have sex
with me some time.
336
00:12:54,291 --> 00:12:57,010
"Van full of Peters
who all have stern faces
337
00:12:57,078 --> 00:12:58,945
because they're about
to pull off a heist"?
338
00:12:59,013 --> 00:13:00,580
Check.
339
00:13:00,648 --> 00:13:03,767
"Upside-down Peter who isn't
revealed to be upside-down
340
00:13:03,834 --> 00:13:06,269
until the camera spins around
and shows that he is"?
341
00:13:07,438 --> 00:13:08,855
Check.
342
00:13:08,923 --> 00:13:11,257
"Peter in an open airplane door
343
00:13:11,325 --> 00:13:14,227
slapping other Peters on the
back as they parachute out"?
344
00:13:14,311 --> 00:13:16,713
Go, go, go, go, go,
go, go, go, go, go!
345
00:13:16,764 --> 00:13:17,714
Check!
346
00:13:17,782 --> 00:13:19,816
"Super gymnastic Asian Peter
347
00:13:19,884 --> 00:13:22,652
contorted into a box that will
be delivered into the house"?
348
00:13:23,888 --> 00:13:25,188
Hai!
349
00:13:25,256 --> 00:13:26,823
"Peter who hasn't answered
350
00:13:26,891 --> 00:13:28,892
because something has gone
terribly wrong"?
351
00:13:28,959 --> 00:13:30,627
Peter? Peter, are you there?
352
00:13:33,214 --> 00:13:35,482
Now, let's go get that kid.
353
00:13:35,549 --> 00:13:37,584
Okay, he's in the
left upstairs bedroom.
354
00:13:37,651 --> 00:13:39,953
All right, you keep the car
going in case there's trouble.
355
00:13:44,825 --> 00:13:46,976
All right,
I got him, Lois.
356
00:13:47,044 --> 00:13:48,878
Peter, what the--
that's not Scotty!
357
00:13:48,946 --> 00:13:50,313
That's Ben!
358
00:13:50,381 --> 00:13:52,816
Oh. Well, you know, we ain't
known this family that long.
359
00:13:52,883 --> 00:13:54,417
I'm still learning
everybody's names.
360
00:13:54,485 --> 00:13:56,986
Damn it, put him back and
go get Scotty, the baby!
361
00:13:57,054 --> 00:13:59,723
Okay, so I'll go get the baby,
and while I'm doing that,
362
00:13:59,790 --> 00:14:02,425
maybe you do something
about that snatchy tone.
363
00:14:05,546 --> 00:14:06,980
Lois, is this the right one?!
364
00:14:07,047 --> 00:14:08,214
Shh! Peter!
365
00:14:08,282 --> 00:14:09,482
Yes. Now, come on.
366
00:14:12,620 --> 00:14:13,553
What was that?
367
00:14:13,621 --> 00:14:14,587
I don't know.
368
00:14:14,655 --> 00:14:15,422
It came from
Scotty's room.
369
00:14:18,993 --> 00:14:20,660
All right, we did it!
370
00:14:20,745 --> 00:14:22,829
Yes! We got the kid
and the treasure.
371
00:14:22,913 --> 00:14:24,047
Peter, there's
no treasure.
372
00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:27,667
Oh, well, never mind, then.
373
00:14:34,078 --> 00:14:35,681
We now return to One-Hour
374
00:14:35,706 --> 00:14:37,214
Crime Show Where the Murderer
375
00:14:37,215 --> 00:14:39,115
is the Most Famous Person
in the Credits.
376
00:14:39,183 --> 00:14:40,817
I think you're gonna want
to take a look at this.
377
00:14:40,885 --> 00:14:42,085
What do we got?
378
00:14:42,153 --> 00:14:43,653
Looks like somebody
had a rough night out.
379
00:14:43,721 --> 00:14:45,071
Boy, you can
say that again.
380
00:14:45,122 --> 00:14:46,423
Better get the
coroner down here.
381
00:14:46,490 --> 00:14:48,158
He's still got his watch
and his wallet.
382
00:14:48,242 --> 00:14:49,526
Guess that rules out robbery.
383
00:14:49,594 --> 00:14:51,461
Stabbed 17 times
in the chest;
384
00:14:51,529 --> 00:14:54,114
I'd say the murderer knew
the victim intimately.
385
00:14:57,351 --> 00:14:59,753
Good evening, I'm Tom Tucker
with some breaking news.
386
00:14:59,820 --> 00:15:02,222
A local kidnapping
has rocked Quahog tonight.
387
00:15:02,290 --> 00:15:03,957
"Rocked Quahog"? Really?
388
00:15:04,025 --> 00:15:05,325
The whole town is r--
389
00:15:05,393 --> 00:15:06,660
The family maybe... is rocked.
390
00:15:06,727 --> 00:15:08,628
But the whole--
All right, well, in any event,
391
00:15:08,696 --> 00:15:11,364
we now go live to Asian reporter
Tricia Takanawa.
392
00:15:11,432 --> 00:15:13,633
Let's see how much
she's "rocked" by all this.
393
00:15:13,701 --> 00:15:14,868
Tricia?
394
00:15:14,936 --> 00:15:18,104
Tom, I'm standing here
with Mayor Adam West,
395
00:15:18,172 --> 00:15:20,373
with the latest information
about the disappearance
396
00:15:20,441 --> 00:15:22,208
of young Scotty Jennings.
397
00:15:22,276 --> 00:15:24,144
What can you tell us,
Mr. Mayor?
398
00:15:24,211 --> 00:15:26,546
Please, Mr. Mayor
is my father.
399
00:15:26,614 --> 00:15:28,181
Call me John Mayor.
400
00:15:28,249 --> 00:15:30,684
Your body is a
wonderland, by the way.
401
00:15:30,751 --> 00:15:34,454
What is the city doing
to help rescue the missing boy?
402
00:15:34,522 --> 00:15:36,289
Well, we're looking
for this child
403
00:15:36,357 --> 00:15:39,859
using all the latest technology,
including the newest,
404
00:15:39,927 --> 00:15:42,395
most advanced
multimedia milk cartons.
405
00:15:42,463 --> 00:15:43,830
Help me!
I'm missing!
406
00:15:43,898 --> 00:15:45,065
Help!
407
00:15:45,132 --> 00:15:46,700
Why are you still
eating breakfast?!
408
00:15:46,767 --> 00:15:47,901
I'm kidnapped!
409
00:15:47,969 --> 00:15:49,736
Why are you turning me
the other way?!
410
00:15:49,804 --> 00:15:51,171
I'm still here!
411
00:15:51,238 --> 00:15:52,606
Scotty Jennings?
412
00:15:52,673 --> 00:15:54,190
Oh, my God!
413
00:15:54,258 --> 00:15:56,026
I know she was upset,
but do you think
414
00:15:56,093 --> 00:15:57,944
Lois would've gone
so far as to kidnap him?
415
00:15:58,012 --> 00:15:59,079
Of course she did.
416
00:15:59,146 --> 00:16:00,180
She'll do anything
for attention.
417
00:16:00,247 --> 00:16:01,381
I know.
418
00:16:01,449 --> 00:16:02,816
She's like the boy
who cried wolf.
419
00:16:04,535 --> 00:16:05,735
Wolf, wolf!
420
00:16:05,820 --> 00:16:07,103
Did you hear that?
421
00:16:07,171 --> 00:16:08,989
Somebody needs help!
Let's go!
422
00:16:12,343 --> 00:16:14,044
Oh, my God, Charles!
423
00:16:14,111 --> 00:16:15,912
Oh, my God,
I'll run and get help.
424
00:16:15,980 --> 00:16:17,447
No, no, we've got
to carry him!
425
00:16:17,515 --> 00:16:19,582
We can't leave him
here; there's a wolf!
426
00:16:19,650 --> 00:16:22,252
Um, there's not
really a wolf.
427
00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:23,386
What?!
428
00:16:23,454 --> 00:16:26,122
Tell my kids I love 'em.
429
00:16:26,190 --> 00:16:29,326
Charlie! Charlie!
430
00:16:29,393 --> 00:16:32,195
This was so funny in my head
when I planned it.
431
00:16:34,882 --> 00:16:36,215
Don't you worry, Scotty.
432
00:16:36,267 --> 00:16:37,934
We're gonna get you
to the hospital
433
00:16:38,002 --> 00:16:39,719
and get you the medical
attention you need.
434
00:16:39,770 --> 00:16:41,021
Yeah, hang in
there, buddy.
435
00:16:41,072 --> 00:16:43,023
When this is over, we
can get some ice cream.
436
00:16:43,074 --> 00:16:45,158
Me and Lois can get
some ice cream, not you.
437
00:16:45,225 --> 00:16:46,910
They're gonna be sticking
needles in you everywhere.
438
00:16:46,994 --> 00:16:48,227
You know, Peter,
you were right,
439
00:16:48,279 --> 00:16:49,913
this is actually
kind of a rush.
440
00:16:49,997 --> 00:16:52,332
I mean, look at us,
we're like Thelma and Louise.
441
00:16:52,399 --> 00:16:54,751
Yeah, but we all know that
didn't end well for them.
442
00:16:56,087 --> 00:16:57,420
You know what?
443
00:16:57,505 --> 00:16:59,873
Let's just turn ourselves in.
444
00:16:59,924 --> 00:17:01,624
I got a great lawyer.
445
00:17:01,709 --> 00:17:04,210
And he says, worst case,
eight to 12 years.
446
00:17:04,261 --> 00:17:05,929
And when we get out,
we'll still have
447
00:17:06,013 --> 00:17:07,597
the rest of our
lives ahead of us.
448
00:17:17,158 --> 00:17:18,925
Good-bye, terrible women.
449
00:17:25,533 --> 00:17:26,983
Oh, my God!
450
00:17:29,120 --> 00:17:31,071
This is Tricia Takanawa.
451
00:17:31,138 --> 00:17:33,873
I am standing outside
Quahog Hospital,
452
00:17:33,941 --> 00:17:36,476
where accused kidnappers
Lois and Peter Griffin
453
00:17:36,544 --> 00:17:37,944
have just arrived.
454
00:17:38,012 --> 00:17:40,880
Also arriving is
my overprotective boyfriend,
455
00:17:40,948 --> 00:17:44,217
who is suspicious whenever I am
called into work at night,
456
00:17:44,285 --> 00:17:47,353
even though I've been a
reporter for years, Tyrone.
457
00:17:47,421 --> 00:17:49,856
I thought I told you
to mention my painting business.
458
00:17:52,793 --> 00:17:55,128
Lois, Peter, stop right there.
459
00:17:55,196 --> 00:17:56,496
You're under arrest
for kidnapping.
460
00:17:56,564 --> 00:17:58,131
I'm gonna have to ask you
461
00:17:58,199 --> 00:17:59,799
to hand over the baby
and surrender.
462
00:17:59,867 --> 00:18:02,001
Joe, please get out of our way.
463
00:18:02,069 --> 00:18:04,738
I promise, when this is over,
I'll gladly go to prison
464
00:18:04,805 --> 00:18:07,240
for the rest of my life,
but not until I bring
465
00:18:07,308 --> 00:18:09,309
this defenseless child
into the hospital
466
00:18:09,376 --> 00:18:11,211
to get him the treatment
he deserves.
467
00:18:11,278 --> 00:18:13,913
Uh, Joe, we would
like two tickets
468
00:18:13,981 --> 00:18:15,014
to the
Policeman's Ball.
469
00:18:15,082 --> 00:18:15,982
Too late!
470
00:18:17,034 --> 00:18:18,118
There they are!
471
00:18:18,185 --> 00:18:20,520
Lois, please!
472
00:18:20,588 --> 00:18:23,089
Stop what you're doing and
give Scotty back to us!
473
00:18:23,157 --> 00:18:24,624
I can't do that, Hope.
474
00:18:24,692 --> 00:18:27,193
But we've entrusted our
son into the Lord's hands.
475
00:18:27,261 --> 00:18:28,561
I know.
476
00:18:28,629 --> 00:18:30,764
And maybe that's why
he ended up in my hands.
477
00:18:30,831 --> 00:18:33,333
The Lord can't do everything,
you know.
478
00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:34,634
Blasphemy!
Heresy!
479
00:18:34,702 --> 00:18:36,035
Sodomy!
480
00:18:36,103 --> 00:18:37,403
Sorry, I don't even
know what's going on.
481
00:18:37,471 --> 00:18:38,421
How you doin'?
482
00:18:38,489 --> 00:18:39,823
Ben, Hope,
483
00:18:39,890 --> 00:18:41,858
I know you don't believe
in modern medicine,
484
00:18:41,926 --> 00:18:44,194
but you do believe
in the power of prayer.
485
00:18:44,261 --> 00:18:45,094
That's right.
486
00:18:45,162 --> 00:18:46,463
And through the years,
487
00:18:46,530 --> 00:18:48,331
when there was disease
or infection,
488
00:18:48,399 --> 00:18:51,134
people of good faith
would pray to God for a cure.
489
00:18:51,202 --> 00:18:52,735
Yes. It's what we do.
490
00:18:52,803 --> 00:18:56,072
Well, then isn't it possible
that penicillin, vaccines
491
00:18:56,140 --> 00:18:59,309
and antibiotics are all
actually answered prayers?
492
00:19:00,811 --> 00:19:02,378
And isn't it possible that
493
00:19:02,446 --> 00:19:04,164
the amazing men and women
of medicine
494
00:19:04,231 --> 00:19:05,982
who brought about these miracles
495
00:19:06,050 --> 00:19:09,285
could be the instruments
of God's answers to our prayers?
496
00:19:09,353 --> 00:19:10,503
It's good so far, Lois.
497
00:19:10,554 --> 00:19:12,472
Try to work a few laughs
in there if you can.
498
00:19:12,540 --> 00:19:14,274
Look, I believe
life is sacred.
499
00:19:14,341 --> 00:19:16,676
And I know you want Scotty
to live a full life.
500
00:19:17,945 --> 00:19:19,345
And if that's
true, then I think
501
00:19:19,413 --> 00:19:20,680
it's wrong for
you to ignore
502
00:19:20,748 --> 00:19:22,816
what very well could
be the Lord's will.
503
00:19:22,883 --> 00:19:24,984
I mean, what's the
point in praying to God
504
00:19:25,052 --> 00:19:27,320
if you're just going to wipe
your butt with his answers?
505
00:19:28,973 --> 00:19:31,491
Hope, Ben,
506
00:19:31,558 --> 00:19:33,893
please let God
answer your prayers.
507
00:19:33,944 --> 00:19:35,795
Please let your son get help.
508
00:19:37,298 --> 00:19:39,465
Well, I guess through
the Lord's will,
509
00:19:39,533 --> 00:19:42,202
anything is possible.
510
00:19:42,269 --> 00:19:43,469
All right, Lois.
511
00:19:43,537 --> 00:19:45,071
Scotty can have
his treatment.
512
00:19:45,139 --> 00:19:46,739
Oh, thank you!
513
00:19:46,790 --> 00:19:49,392
Thank you,
and God bless you both!
514
00:19:49,460 --> 00:19:50,643
Hey, everybody!
515
00:19:50,711 --> 00:19:52,245
We're all gonna get laid!
516
00:19:59,753 --> 00:20:02,655
We now return to
Dracula in San Francisco.
517
00:20:15,703 --> 00:20:16,936
Ooh.
518
00:20:17,004 --> 00:20:19,439
Well, that's why
we have the lab.
519
00:20:19,506 --> 00:20:21,457
Well, I just got off
the phone with Hope,
520
00:20:21,542 --> 00:20:24,060
and it sounds like Scotty's
gonna make a full recovery.
521
00:20:24,128 --> 00:20:25,528
You hear that, Stewie?
522
00:20:25,596 --> 00:20:27,130
Looks like your little
friend's gonna be okay.
523
00:20:27,197 --> 00:20:28,565
Eh, I don't care about him.
524
00:20:28,632 --> 00:20:30,233
I've got a new friend
who's got leprosy.
525
00:20:31,669 --> 00:20:33,236
See, he's funny.
526
00:20:33,304 --> 00:20:35,305
Peter, are you actually reading
that Christian Science book?
527
00:20:35,372 --> 00:20:37,473
Yeah, you know, I figured
I'd give it a shot.
528
00:20:37,541 --> 00:20:39,442
I mean, wouldn't it
be cool if you could
529
00:20:39,510 --> 00:20:42,161
pray really hard for something,
and it actually happened?
530
00:20:44,765 --> 00:20:47,066
I am so happy for me.
531
00:20:47,134 --> 00:20:48,601
I deserve this.
532
00:20:48,652 --> 00:20:50,153
When do you think
the Queen's gonna die?
533
00:20:51,268 --> 00:20:55,268
== sync, corrected by elderman ==