1
00:00:00,733 --> 00:00:03,502
♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
2
00:00:03,570 --> 00:00:06,888
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
3
00:00:06,940 --> 00:00:10,359
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:10,410 --> 00:00:13,328
♪ On which we used to rely?
5
00:00:13,396 --> 00:00:16,915
♪ Lucky there's a family guy
6
00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:20,118
♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪
7
00:00:20,203 --> 00:00:21,720
♪ All the things that make us
8
00:00:21,788 --> 00:00:23,505
♪ Laugh and cry
9
00:00:23,573 --> 00:00:28,494
♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
10
00:00:28,519 --> 00:00:32,019
♪ Family Guy 10x11 ♪
The Blind Side
Original Air Date on January 15, 2012
11
00:00:32,044 --> 00:00:35,544
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
12
00:00:37,770 --> 00:00:39,404
Stewie, what are
you doing?
13
00:00:39,472 --> 00:00:41,073
Oh, just doing a
little tai chi.
14
00:00:41,140 --> 00:00:43,559
You know how the Asians
look 30 until they're 60?
15
00:00:43,610 --> 00:00:44,793
This is why.
16
00:00:44,861 --> 00:00:46,445
Of course, then they
suddenly look 100,
17
00:00:46,529 --> 00:00:47,579
but cross that
bridge, you know?
18
00:00:47,647 --> 00:00:48,780
Is this a Japanese thing?
19
00:00:48,848 --> 00:00:50,199
No, Chinese.
20
00:00:50,266 --> 00:00:51,900
The Japanese have a whole
other thing going on.
21
00:00:52,463 --> 00:00:53,663
Hey, you want to see a movie?
22
00:00:53,688 --> 00:00:56,613
No, we're Japanese, let's watch
a schoolgirl bang an octopus.
23
00:00:56,759 --> 00:00:57,695
Yeah!
24
00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:01,995
Suction cup feel good!
25
00:01:05,499 --> 00:01:07,851
And of course the most
important part of any workout
26
00:01:07,918 --> 00:01:10,303
is a proper cool
down and a stretch.
27
00:01:11,372 --> 00:01:12,338
What? What is it?
28
00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:14,207
I got a splinter!
29
00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:20,230
Oh, my God, Stewie, what is it?!
30
00:01:20,297 --> 00:01:21,514
Oh, he's just
got a splinter.
31
00:01:21,599 --> 00:01:23,016
Oh, my poor baby.
32
00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:25,318
It's 'cause these old stairs
are just falling apart.
33
00:01:25,386 --> 00:01:26,619
It's not just the stairs.
34
00:01:26,687 --> 00:01:28,788
Meg has spent two days
pinned under a roof beam.
35
00:01:31,158 --> 00:01:33,193
Let's just focus
on the stairs, Brian.
36
00:01:36,363 --> 00:01:37,747
Morning, Opie.
37
00:01:37,815 --> 00:01:39,716
Hey, what's going on?
You going somewhere?
38
00:01:41,452 --> 00:01:43,203
You got fired? Why?!
39
00:01:45,089 --> 00:01:46,523
Oh, well, it's no wonder
40
00:01:46,590 --> 00:01:48,258
they finally caught you
doing that in here.
41
00:01:48,325 --> 00:01:49,692
I mean, the underside
of your desk
42
00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:51,394
looks like Carlsbad Caverns.
43
00:01:54,315 --> 00:01:56,883
Griffin, say hello
to Opie's replacement, Stella.
44
00:01:56,967 --> 00:01:58,168
Nice to meet you.
45
00:01:58,235 --> 00:01:59,369
W-What is this?
46
00:01:59,436 --> 00:02:00,937
We doing a new
secret handshake now?
47
00:02:01,005 --> 00:02:03,006
No, Griffin, she's deaf.
48
00:02:03,073 --> 00:02:04,808
Oh. Can she
read lips?
49
00:02:04,875 --> 00:02:06,342
Yes, I can.
50
00:02:06,410 --> 00:02:09,412
So if I do this, I can talk
about what a sweet rack she has?
51
00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:12,031
Yes, but try not to make
a boob-honking gesture
52
00:02:12,099 --> 00:02:13,800
with your other hand
while you're saying it.
53
00:02:13,868 --> 00:02:15,368
Sorry.
It's okay.
54
00:02:15,452 --> 00:02:16,853
I'm used to people being
55
00:02:16,904 --> 00:02:19,656
a little uncomfortable
with me at first.
56
00:02:19,723 --> 00:02:22,509
If you have any questions,
feel free to ask.
57
00:02:22,576 --> 00:02:23,960
Yeah, actually, I do.
58
00:02:24,027 --> 00:02:27,163
Are your other senses better
on account of you can't hear?
59
00:02:27,231 --> 00:02:29,916
Like, can you smell my farts
before they even come out?
60
00:02:29,984 --> 00:02:31,851
'Cause I got one
in the pocket right now,
61
00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:34,654
and I want to know if I need
to feel self-conscious about it.
62
00:02:34,722 --> 00:02:36,523
I can't smell it, no.
63
00:02:36,590 --> 00:02:38,675
I might be able
to see it, though.
64
00:02:38,742 --> 00:02:42,428
A lot of people make small
movements when they fart.
65
00:02:42,513 --> 00:02:44,614
They twitch their
eye or something.
66
00:02:44,682 --> 00:02:46,616
Oh, like subtle
giveaways, huh?
67
00:02:46,684 --> 00:02:49,802
All right, well, t-tell me
if you can see when it happens.
68
00:02:51,105 --> 00:02:52,305
You just farted.
69
00:02:52,373 --> 00:02:53,606
Oh, my God,
you saw that?!
70
00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:56,342
You can see all my tiny,
subtle movements?
71
00:02:57,561 --> 00:02:58,995
You just did it again.
72
00:02:59,063 --> 00:03:00,630
Well, this is
gonna be a delight!
73
00:03:00,698 --> 00:03:02,282
I don't know
why Lois always said
74
00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:04,350
she had problems
with female coworkers.
75
00:03:04,418 --> 00:03:07,020
So Abby, Elaine and Janet have
their little lunch clique,
76
00:03:07,087 --> 00:03:08,288
and of course
I'm not invited.
77
00:03:08,355 --> 00:03:09,439
Seems like
you're doing everything
78
00:03:09,506 --> 00:03:10,773
and they're doing nothing.
79
00:03:10,841 --> 00:03:12,709
Well, I don't know,
but what I do know is
80
00:03:12,776 --> 00:03:14,027
that in the staff meeting,
- Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
81
00:03:14,094 --> 00:03:15,528
Christina said my inventory
system wasn't feasible.
82
00:03:15,596 --> 00:03:17,063
She's obviously
threatened by you.
83
00:03:17,131 --> 00:03:18,781
But when the associate sales
manager came back in the room...
84
00:03:18,849 --> 00:03:20,099
It's ridiculous,
and I support you fully.
85
00:03:20,167 --> 00:03:21,534
...she told him the idea
as if it was hers...
86
00:03:21,602 --> 00:03:22,635
You can't let them
get to you.
87
00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:24,103
They're jealous
of what you have.
88
00:03:24,171 --> 00:03:26,289
It's nothing to do with you,
and everything to do with them.
89
00:03:26,357 --> 00:03:28,157
Only you can
prevent forest fires.
90
00:03:31,662 --> 00:03:34,314
Hey, Peter, you ready
to go to the Clam?
91
00:03:34,398 --> 00:03:35,698
Whoa, who's the hot chick?
92
00:03:35,766 --> 00:03:36,950
Oh, that's Stella.
93
00:03:37,017 --> 00:03:38,251
You don't have to whisper;
she's deaf.
94
00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:39,269
Really?
95
00:03:39,336 --> 00:03:40,536
Oh, my God, that's hot.
96
00:03:40,604 --> 00:03:42,238
I didn't know you had
a thing for deaf chicks.
97
00:03:42,289 --> 00:03:43,556
Any kind of disabled
chick, Peter.
98
00:03:43,624 --> 00:03:44,891
They can do
things to you
99
00:03:44,959 --> 00:03:46,526
that regular chicks
don't even think of.
100
00:03:46,594 --> 00:03:47,894
Besides, you know me.
101
00:03:47,962 --> 00:03:49,379
I'm into a lot of
different stuff.
102
00:03:53,384 --> 00:03:54,801
What, did you hear something?
103
00:03:54,868 --> 00:03:55,868
No, it's all good.
104
00:03:55,936 --> 00:03:56,869
All right.
105
00:04:04,311 --> 00:04:06,729
You know, Chris,
a little friendly advice.
106
00:04:06,797 --> 00:04:08,398
Uh, you're gonna
start dating soon;
107
00:04:08,465 --> 00:04:10,066
probably good
to get in the habit
108
00:04:10,134 --> 00:04:11,584
of chewing
with your mouth closed.
109
00:04:11,652 --> 00:04:14,203
Doesn't bother me, I'm just--
you know, one friend to another.
110
00:04:14,271 --> 00:04:16,172
Oh, what, you got
a problem with me?
111
00:04:16,240 --> 00:04:18,675
You think I'm gross?
112
00:04:18,742 --> 00:04:21,544
Don't do that.
Don't do that.
113
00:04:23,831 --> 00:04:27,333
Yeah. This is what you are
and this is what I am.
114
00:04:27,418 --> 00:04:29,018
Peter, hurry up!
115
00:04:29,086 --> 00:04:30,119
You're missing dinner.
116
00:04:38,012 --> 00:04:39,529
Lois, what the hell?!
117
00:04:39,596 --> 00:04:41,330
Oh, my God, Peter,
are you okay?!
118
00:04:41,382 --> 00:04:42,682
What the hell happened
to the stairs?!
119
00:04:42,750 --> 00:04:43,750
They're all
slippery now!
120
00:04:43,817 --> 00:04:45,451
I had them replaced,
remember?
121
00:04:45,519 --> 00:04:48,021
The old ones were so rough,
and Stewie got that splinter,
122
00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:50,657
so I thought replacing
the wood was the best way to go.
123
00:04:50,724 --> 00:04:52,158
When'd you do that?!
124
00:04:52,226 --> 00:04:54,494
The other day, when you spent
all that time at the drugstore.
125
00:04:54,561 --> 00:04:55,795
Oh, yeah.
126
00:04:55,863 --> 00:04:57,196
Couldn't figure out
if that Hispanic lady
127
00:04:57,264 --> 00:04:58,097
worked there or not.
128
00:05:01,835 --> 00:05:03,670
Um... excuse me.
129
00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:08,675
Excuse me.
130
00:05:08,742 --> 00:05:11,844
Boy, I wonder where the
shampoos are around here.
131
00:05:13,781 --> 00:05:17,517
I said, "I wonder where the
shampoos are around here."
132
00:05:19,753 --> 00:05:21,120
Oh, for God's sake,
I almost thought
133
00:05:21,188 --> 00:05:22,188
you were a
regular person.
134
00:05:22,256 --> 00:05:23,456
Where's the shampoo?!
135
00:05:26,510 --> 00:05:28,594
What the hell?
136
00:05:33,684 --> 00:05:35,718
Hey, guys,
all the action's over here!
137
00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:38,204
Quagmire, what
is all this?
138
00:05:38,272 --> 00:05:40,156
Peter's new coworker
gave me an idea.
139
00:05:40,224 --> 00:05:42,675
Welcome to
Disabled Ladies Night.
140
00:05:42,743 --> 00:05:44,177
Mine are made
from teak.
141
00:05:44,244 --> 00:05:45,578
What are yours
made from?
142
00:05:45,646 --> 00:05:48,448
Yeah, mine are actually just
pressboard with wood veneer.
143
00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:49,982
I can't get wet.
144
00:05:50,050 --> 00:05:52,869
Oh. I think I
see my friends.
145
00:05:55,756 --> 00:05:57,907
Hey, uh, you guys
enjoy the carnival.
146
00:05:57,958 --> 00:06:00,743
I'm gonna get
a drink at the bar.
147
00:06:00,794 --> 00:06:02,712
Hey, uh, anyone
sitting here?
148
00:06:02,780 --> 00:06:03,896
No, go ahead.
149
00:06:03,964 --> 00:06:05,298
Thanks.
150
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:07,266
Hey, would you like
to go out sometime?
151
00:06:07,334 --> 00:06:08,735
Wow, that was fast.
152
00:06:08,802 --> 00:06:10,920
Yeah, well, you know, I read
somewhere that women decide
153
00:06:10,988 --> 00:06:13,139
within the first seven seconds
if they're interested in you
154
00:06:13,207 --> 00:06:15,208
or not, so I figured I
wouldn't waste anybody's time.
155
00:06:15,275 --> 00:06:16,209
Fair enough.
156
00:06:16,276 --> 00:06:17,593
Sure, let's go out.
157
00:06:17,661 --> 00:06:18,661
- Really?
- Yeah.
158
00:06:18,729 --> 00:06:20,563
Like you said,
I've already decided.
159
00:06:20,631 --> 00:06:21,564
I'm Kate.
160
00:06:21,632 --> 00:06:22,832
I'm Brian.
161
00:06:22,900 --> 00:06:24,801
Hey, uh, you want
to go outside?
162
00:06:24,868 --> 00:06:25,835
Maybe a little
quieter.
163
00:06:25,903 --> 00:06:27,253
Sure.
164
00:06:31,625 --> 00:06:33,376
Oh, my God, I...
165
00:06:33,444 --> 00:06:35,094
Hey, check out Brian
with the blind chick.
166
00:06:35,162 --> 00:06:36,429
Hey, don't worry, Brian,
167
00:06:36,497 --> 00:06:37,864
you're still doing
better than Quagmire.
168
00:06:37,931 --> 00:06:39,031
He got a hooker.
169
00:06:39,099 --> 00:06:40,900
Ha!
170
00:06:40,968 --> 00:06:42,368
No, no, but she is
a prostitute.
171
00:06:50,702 --> 00:06:53,286
Listen, you know, we can do
something else if you want.
172
00:06:53,354 --> 00:06:54,721
Why? I'm having a good time.
173
00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:56,239
Well, I mean, I
just don't know
174
00:06:56,307 --> 00:06:59,142
how much fun it is for a blind
person to go to the movies.
175
00:06:59,210 --> 00:07:01,712
Brian, blind people
go to the movies all the time.
176
00:07:01,779 --> 00:07:03,113
We just listen.
177
00:07:03,181 --> 00:07:05,749
I might be blind, but my brain
has been trained to listen
178
00:07:05,817 --> 00:07:09,086
to any movie and know exactly
what's happening on screen.
179
00:07:09,153 --> 00:07:11,121
Like, I loved Titanic.
180
00:07:11,189 --> 00:07:13,607
I'm the king of the world!
181
00:07:22,300 --> 00:07:24,801
So you sure you don't
need me to come in?
182
00:07:24,869 --> 00:07:26,920
Maybe show you
to your bed.
183
00:07:27,004 --> 00:07:29,122
Pretty sure I can
find it, thanks.
184
00:07:29,190 --> 00:07:30,791
Maybe next time I'll
have trouble, though.
185
00:07:30,858 --> 00:07:32,959
You might have to help
me find it next time.
186
00:07:33,027 --> 00:07:34,461
So there's a next time.
187
00:07:34,529 --> 00:07:35,445
Definitely.
188
00:07:35,513 --> 00:07:36,413
Great.
189
00:07:36,481 --> 00:07:38,915
Well, all right, good night.
190
00:07:40,318 --> 00:07:42,986
Ugh! Our stupid
neighbor's dog barks 24/7.
191
00:07:43,054 --> 00:07:44,654
God, I hate dogs.
192
00:07:44,722 --> 00:07:46,173
Y-You do?
193
00:07:46,240 --> 00:07:50,010
Yeah, they're just slobbery,
annoying, needy little bastards.
194
00:07:50,078 --> 00:07:52,112
I'm just not really a
dog person, I guess.
195
00:07:52,180 --> 00:07:54,514
Oh. Uh, yeah, me neither.
196
00:07:54,582 --> 00:07:56,333
Dog people can get
pretty annoying.
197
00:07:56,401 --> 00:07:58,351
Wow, this is
a nice apartment you have.
198
00:07:58,419 --> 00:07:59,719
Is this your dog?
199
00:07:59,787 --> 00:08:02,956
Yes. Isn't he the cutest
little cutie wutie?
200
00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:04,458
Look how cute he is.
201
00:08:04,525 --> 00:08:05,826
Yes, he's very cute.
202
00:08:05,893 --> 00:08:07,260
Yes, he's cute.
203
00:08:07,328 --> 00:08:09,312
Yes, he's cute,
cute, cute, cute.
204
00:08:09,380 --> 00:08:11,198
Look at him. Look
at him. Look at him.
205
00:08:11,265 --> 00:08:12,332
Okay.
206
00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:14,568
Look at it! Look at
that face! Come on!
207
00:08:14,635 --> 00:08:16,386
Look at that face!
You look at him!
208
00:08:16,454 --> 00:08:17,954
Look at that
face!
209
00:08:20,091 --> 00:08:22,459
Hey, guys, this is
driving me nuts.
210
00:08:22,510 --> 00:08:24,344
Was one of the dwarves
named Snappy?
211
00:08:24,429 --> 00:08:25,512
Kind of well dressed?
212
00:08:25,596 --> 00:08:27,164
Or am I-I just making that up?
213
00:08:32,236 --> 00:08:33,553
Oh, my God, Dad!
214
00:08:33,621 --> 00:08:34,921
Dad, are you okay?!
215
00:08:34,989 --> 00:08:36,590
Damn it, I hate
these new stairs!
216
00:08:36,657 --> 00:08:37,858
Yeah, I'm fine.
217
00:08:37,925 --> 00:08:39,059
I'll just--
I'm-I'm just gonna
218
00:08:39,127 --> 00:08:40,994
lie here until the
pain goes away.
219
00:08:41,062 --> 00:08:42,696
What are you
guys watching?
220
00:08:42,763 --> 00:08:44,664
We now return to
the first time travel movie
221
00:08:44,732 --> 00:08:46,566
with a perfectly functioning
time machine.
222
00:08:46,634 --> 00:08:48,268
All right, if I'm correct,
223
00:08:48,336 --> 00:08:50,871
this should land us
in six million B.C.
224
00:08:53,090 --> 00:08:54,458
Quick!
Get us out of here!
225
00:08:56,577 --> 00:08:57,978
Boy, that was close.
226
00:08:58,045 --> 00:08:59,346
Oh, my God,
where's Frank?!
227
00:08:59,413 --> 00:09:00,647
I'm over here.
228
00:09:00,715 --> 00:09:01,882
Oh, okay.
229
00:09:08,439 --> 00:09:10,707
Brian, if I ever
take up roller derby,
230
00:09:10,775 --> 00:09:12,375
what do you think
my name should be?
231
00:09:12,443 --> 00:09:15,545
Bruisin' B. Anthony,
Alicia Sleaze or Quahag?
232
00:09:15,613 --> 00:09:17,347
How about Harlot O'Scara?
233
00:09:17,415 --> 00:09:18,632
Aw, you dick,
that's genius.
234
00:09:18,699 --> 00:09:19,866
How'd your date go?
235
00:09:19,934 --> 00:09:21,768
Aw, went great.
We had an awesome time.
236
00:09:21,836 --> 00:09:23,470
She's really smart,
really funny.
237
00:09:23,538 --> 00:09:24,738
Cute?
Yeah, hot, actually.
238
00:09:24,805 --> 00:09:26,206
I don't know
how she does it,
239
00:09:26,274 --> 00:09:28,141
but she dresses really well
for a blind girl.
240
00:09:28,209 --> 00:09:29,709
I mean, like,
her body is just...
241
00:09:29,777 --> 00:09:32,479
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
242
00:09:32,547 --> 00:09:33,480
What?
243
00:09:33,548 --> 00:09:34,581
Don't "what" me.
244
00:09:34,649 --> 00:09:35,815
You just said
she's blind.
245
00:09:35,883 --> 00:09:37,017
You just said it.
246
00:09:37,084 --> 00:09:38,418
You totally
buried the lead.
247
00:09:38,486 --> 00:09:39,886
Yeah, well, it's not
that important.
248
00:09:39,954 --> 00:09:41,388
So what if she can't see?
249
00:09:41,455 --> 00:09:43,089
She's amazing
in every other way.
250
00:09:43,157 --> 00:09:44,791
Okay, if you say so.
251
00:09:44,859 --> 00:09:47,227
Hey, does she have really
weird, messed-up eyes?
252
00:09:47,295 --> 00:09:48,728
No, her eyes are normal.
253
00:09:48,796 --> 00:09:51,114
They're beautiful, actually.
254
00:09:51,182 --> 00:09:52,983
Bet they're not.
255
00:09:53,050 --> 00:09:55,669
Bet they look like bowls of milk.
Shut up.
256
00:09:55,736 --> 00:09:57,137
You sure she isn't
just using you?
257
00:09:57,205 --> 00:09:58,438
Seeing-eye dogs are expensive;
258
00:09:58,506 --> 00:10:00,707
she may just be trying
to get one for free.
259
00:10:00,775 --> 00:10:02,742
No, actually, she doesn't
want a seeing-eye dog.
260
00:10:02,810 --> 00:10:05,011
She hates dogs.
261
00:10:05,079 --> 00:10:06,112
What?
262
00:10:06,180 --> 00:10:07,247
She doesn't like dogs.
263
00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:08,782
She's just not a dog person.
264
00:10:08,849 --> 00:10:10,550
What? Does she not
know you're a dog?
265
00:10:10,618 --> 00:10:11,818
How is that possible?
266
00:10:11,886 --> 00:10:14,454
Well, we-we haven't
done anything yet.
267
00:10:14,522 --> 00:10:16,856
So I'm-I'm just gonna, I'm just
gonna avoid touching her
268
00:10:16,924 --> 00:10:18,391
until a little more time
has passed.
269
00:10:18,459 --> 00:10:21,027
And by the time I tell her,
I'll have impressed her so much
270
00:10:21,095 --> 00:10:22,479
that the dog thing
won't even matter.
271
00:10:22,547 --> 00:10:23,797
Yeah, well, good
luck with that.
272
00:10:23,864 --> 00:10:25,832
You know, I like
your delusion, Brian.
273
00:10:25,900 --> 00:10:28,468
Most people would say,
"I lost, I give up,"
274
00:10:28,536 --> 00:10:30,370
but you, you just
keep trying.
275
00:10:30,438 --> 00:10:32,239
You're like the
Dominican Republic.
276
00:10:32,306 --> 00:10:34,307
Always killing the guy
in charge and saying,
277
00:10:34,375 --> 00:10:37,277
"Oh, this new guy, this new
guy's gonna get it right."
278
00:10:37,345 --> 00:10:38,878
Well, that's just because
I have confidence
279
00:10:38,946 --> 00:10:40,213
that I'll find happiness.
280
00:10:40,281 --> 00:10:41,715
Hey, anything's
possible, right?
281
00:10:41,782 --> 00:10:43,383
I mean, I once
found the Batcave.
282
00:10:43,451 --> 00:10:45,785
Look, you can't expect
to hire 60 workers
283
00:10:45,853 --> 00:10:48,788
to dig a cave under your house
and then keep it a secret.
284
00:10:48,856 --> 00:10:50,657
I mean, those men
live in this town.
285
00:10:50,725 --> 00:10:53,260
Yeah, but I told them it was
part of a geological survey.
286
00:10:53,327 --> 00:10:54,744
Batman, Batman.
287
00:10:54,795 --> 00:10:58,298
They built a lazy Susan
for your nuclear car.
288
00:10:58,366 --> 00:11:01,151
That's something they consider
conversation-worthy.
289
00:11:04,388 --> 00:11:06,890
Gosh, this has been
an amazing week, Brian.
290
00:11:06,958 --> 00:11:08,491
I still can't believe
you beat up
291
00:11:08,559 --> 00:11:09,926
that guy
who tried to mug us.
292
00:11:09,977 --> 00:11:11,344
That was a great dinner.
293
00:11:11,429 --> 00:11:13,296
Yeah, I really liked that
salmon you recommended.
294
00:11:13,347 --> 00:11:15,031
Yes. May I help
you gentlemen?
295
00:11:15,099 --> 00:11:16,650
"Hey, you're in a
tough part of town.
296
00:11:16,734 --> 00:11:18,234
Now, give me your
purse, doll face."
297
00:11:18,302 --> 00:11:19,586
Hey, you get your
hands off that!
298
00:11:19,654 --> 00:11:21,021
I don't care how many
of you there are--
299
00:11:21,088 --> 00:11:22,389
you're not taking
this purse!
300
00:11:22,456 --> 00:11:24,157
"Ah, the hell we aren't.
Let's get him, boys!"
301
00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:25,775
Brian?
Stay right there, Kate.
302
00:11:25,843 --> 00:11:26,943
I'll handle this.
303
00:11:28,429 --> 00:11:30,080
Yeah, you like
that, huh?
304
00:11:30,147 --> 00:11:31,197
"Ooh! This
guy's tough!"
305
00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:34,034
"No fair. He
knows karate.
306
00:11:34,101 --> 00:11:36,336
Usually, handsome guys ain't
so good with their fists."
307
00:11:37,955 --> 00:11:39,506
And stay away from
my girlfriend.
308
00:11:39,590 --> 00:11:40,790
Brian, I know
karate, too.
309
00:11:40,858 --> 00:11:42,042
I can help you.
310
00:11:42,126 --> 00:11:43,443
"You stay out
of this, lady!"
311
00:11:45,162 --> 00:11:47,364
I got one!
I think I got one!
312
00:11:47,431 --> 00:11:49,499
Yeah, yeah, but I-I
got the other four.
313
00:11:49,567 --> 00:11:51,001
They're-they're
gone now.
314
00:11:51,068 --> 00:11:52,235
They're gone.
315
00:11:52,303 --> 00:11:54,170
Well, they took the
gift I had for you,
316
00:11:54,238 --> 00:11:55,338
but at least
you're okay.
317
00:11:55,406 --> 00:11:57,073
And that trip
to the Eiffel Tower
318
00:11:57,141 --> 00:11:58,541
was just amazing.
319
00:12:01,846 --> 00:12:03,580
Are we almost
at the top?
320
00:12:03,648 --> 00:12:05,398
Yeah, just a
few more steps.
321
00:12:05,466 --> 00:12:07,317
Here we are.
322
00:12:07,368 --> 00:12:09,569
Ah, the winds of Paris.
323
00:12:09,654 --> 00:12:11,237
Isn't that what they say?
324
00:12:11,305 --> 00:12:13,356
Oh, that breeze
is gorgeous.
325
00:12:13,424 --> 00:12:15,792
And I think I smell...
croissants?
326
00:12:15,859 --> 00:12:17,077
Do you?
327
00:12:17,161 --> 00:12:18,962
You have an amazing
sense of smell.
328
00:12:19,030 --> 00:12:20,163
Oh, there it is.
329
00:12:20,231 --> 00:12:21,498
There's what?
Oh, nothing.
330
00:12:21,549 --> 00:12:22,916
Just the, uh,
Goodyear blimp.
331
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:25,385
It says, "I love you,
Kate," all in lights.
332
00:12:25,469 --> 00:12:27,137
Here in Paris?
333
00:12:27,204 --> 00:12:29,489
Yeah, it's... it's here for
Wimbledon or something.
334
00:12:29,557 --> 00:12:30,840
Oh, my God.
335
00:12:30,891 --> 00:12:31,975
That's the most
romantic thing
336
00:12:32,042 --> 00:12:33,376
anybody's ever
done for me.
337
00:12:33,427 --> 00:12:34,678
Well, get used to it.
338
00:12:34,729 --> 00:12:36,262
You're going to be
hearing a lot of things
339
00:12:36,347 --> 00:12:37,497
I've done for you.
340
00:12:40,885 --> 00:12:42,619
We now return to True Blood.
341
00:12:42,687 --> 00:12:44,554
Hi. I'm a nude vampire.
342
00:12:44,622 --> 00:12:46,856
Hi. I'm a nude werewolf.
343
00:12:46,924 --> 00:12:48,324
And that's the show!
344
00:12:48,392 --> 00:12:49,893
Peter, come downstairs.
345
00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:51,561
That gay show you like is on.
346
00:12:51,629 --> 00:12:52,696
Coming!
347
00:13:13,217 --> 00:13:14,517
Damn it!
348
00:13:14,585 --> 00:13:16,169
Oh, my God, Peter.
Are you okay?
349
00:13:16,237 --> 00:13:17,871
No, I am not okay!
350
00:13:17,938 --> 00:13:19,773
Nothing about this
is okay!
351
00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:21,441
You just need
to be more careful
352
00:13:21,509 --> 00:13:22,976
coming down the stairs.
That's all.
353
00:13:23,043 --> 00:13:24,928
Easy for you to say.
354
00:13:24,995 --> 00:13:27,080
This is stressing
the crap out of me.
355
00:13:27,148 --> 00:13:29,682
Like when we had that
easily startled wallpaper.
356
00:13:31,285 --> 00:13:33,052
Aah!
357
00:13:40,444 --> 00:13:41,578
Well, it's getting late.
358
00:13:41,645 --> 00:13:42,962
I should probably go.
359
00:13:43,047 --> 00:13:45,315
Brian, this is like
our sixth date.
360
00:13:45,382 --> 00:13:46,883
I'm beginning to feel
like you're not
361
00:13:46,951 --> 00:13:48,218
attracted to me
or something.
362
00:13:48,285 --> 00:13:49,936
No, I... Oh,
my God, I'm...
363
00:13:50,004 --> 00:13:51,404
I'm so attracted
to you. I...
364
00:13:51,472 --> 00:13:54,107
So why haven't we
done anything about it?
365
00:13:54,175 --> 00:13:55,942
I-I just... you
know, sometimes
366
00:13:56,010 --> 00:13:57,444
taking things
slower is better.
367
00:13:57,511 --> 00:13:59,446
Just ask any sloth.
368
00:13:59,513 --> 00:14:02,749
Hey, is sometimes
taking things slower better?
369
00:14:08,789 --> 00:14:10,390
Yeah.
370
00:14:10,458 --> 00:14:13,893
I just... I like
you a lot, and I...
371
00:14:13,961 --> 00:14:15,195
I don't want to
ruin anything
372
00:14:15,262 --> 00:14:16,563
by moving too
fast, you know?
373
00:14:16,630 --> 00:14:18,598
'Cause sometimes,
when you...
374
00:14:21,018 --> 00:14:23,286
Brian, you never told me
you had a beard.
375
00:14:23,354 --> 00:14:24,754
I love beards.
376
00:14:24,822 --> 00:14:26,122
Oh. Yeah.
377
00:14:26,190 --> 00:14:28,324
No, hey, I'm bearding
it up over here.
378
00:14:28,392 --> 00:14:32,178
Hey, Brian, would you be cool
with meeting my parents?
379
00:14:32,246 --> 00:14:33,513
They're in town
this weekend,
380
00:14:33,597 --> 00:14:35,098
and I thought we
could all have dinner.
381
00:14:35,166 --> 00:14:36,866
Uh... sure.
382
00:14:36,934 --> 00:14:39,669
Are they... are they
driving themselves?
383
00:14:40,905 --> 00:14:43,273
If you're asking
if they can see, yes.
384
00:14:43,340 --> 00:14:45,809
And since you can see...
385
00:14:45,876 --> 00:14:48,511
why don't you tell me
how these look?
386
00:14:48,579 --> 00:14:50,446
Uh... they look
pretty damn great.
387
00:14:50,514 --> 00:14:52,749
Then why don't you
tell me how they feel?
388
00:14:52,817 --> 00:14:54,217
Uh, next time.
389
00:14:54,285 --> 00:14:56,185
Some things are
worth waiting for.
390
00:14:56,237 --> 00:14:58,705
Wow. You're really
a true gentleman.
391
00:14:58,772 --> 00:15:00,273
Yep, not too
many of us left.
392
00:15:07,180 --> 00:15:08,097
Stewie,
I need your help.
393
00:15:08,165 --> 00:15:09,115
What? What is it?
394
00:15:09,182 --> 00:15:10,633
I have a crisis situation here.
395
00:15:10,701 --> 00:15:12,218
Kate wants me
to meet her parents.
396
00:15:12,286 --> 00:15:14,070
Hey, guys.
397
00:15:14,137 --> 00:15:17,556
Just gonna...
gonna take this.
398
00:15:17,624 --> 00:15:19,892
Thank you.
399
00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:21,477
What the hell
am I going to do?
400
00:15:21,545 --> 00:15:22,812
All right, all right,
just calm down.
401
00:15:22,879 --> 00:15:24,246
Calm down?
402
00:15:24,314 --> 00:15:25,865
We're all supposed to have
dinner tomorrow night,
403
00:15:25,932 --> 00:15:28,117
and her parents
are going to see that I'm a dog.
404
00:15:33,323 --> 00:15:34,457
Don't worry, Brian.
405
00:15:34,524 --> 00:15:35,691
I'll come up
with something.
406
00:15:35,759 --> 00:15:37,360
Remember, I'm the
guy who came up
407
00:15:37,427 --> 00:15:38,978
with the choreography
to Showgirls.
408
00:15:39,029 --> 00:15:41,213
♪
409
00:15:41,281 --> 00:15:43,199
Okay, stop.
Stop. Stop.
410
00:15:43,266 --> 00:15:45,735
Elizabeth, darling,
too much hands, not enough hips.
411
00:15:45,819 --> 00:15:47,186
Can I just show you?
412
00:15:48,722 --> 00:15:50,740
One, two, three, four.
413
00:15:50,807 --> 00:15:52,925
I'm dancing from my vagina.
414
00:15:52,993 --> 00:15:54,710
One, two, three, four.
415
00:15:54,795 --> 00:15:56,695
I'm grinding, I'm grinding.
416
00:15:56,747 --> 00:15:58,748
Orgasm eyes, orgasm eyes.
417
00:15:58,832 --> 00:16:01,000
And we're done.
418
00:16:01,068 --> 00:16:04,503
You do 20% that,
and we got a movie.
419
00:16:08,759 --> 00:16:10,726
Peter, what
is all this?
420
00:16:10,794 --> 00:16:11,827
Oh, hi, Lois.
421
00:16:11,895 --> 00:16:13,129
I live upstairs now.
422
00:16:13,196 --> 00:16:14,397
What?
That's right.
423
00:16:14,464 --> 00:16:16,232
I made a nest
of my old underwears
424
00:16:16,299 --> 00:16:17,733
on which
to lay my eggs,
425
00:16:17,801 --> 00:16:20,136
and I shall raise my young
in this room alone.
426
00:16:20,203 --> 00:16:21,404
Peter, you're being an idiot.
427
00:16:21,471 --> 00:16:22,538
Oh, really?
428
00:16:22,606 --> 00:16:23,773
Would an idiot
have been able
429
00:16:23,857 --> 00:16:25,458
to rig this rig
to that rig?
430
00:16:25,525 --> 00:16:27,126
Peter, that's nothing.
431
00:16:27,194 --> 00:16:29,078
Oh, is it?
432
00:16:32,899 --> 00:16:35,351
I died! I died!
433
00:16:44,411 --> 00:16:46,429
Oh, hi.
You must be Kate.
434
00:16:46,496 --> 00:16:47,797
I'm Brian's nurse.
435
00:16:47,864 --> 00:16:49,432
He's had a little accident,
I'm afraid.
436
00:16:49,499 --> 00:16:51,467
Oh, my God, Brian!
Are you okay?
437
00:16:51,535 --> 00:16:52,735
Ah, don't worry.
I'm fine.
438
00:16:52,803 --> 00:16:54,520
I'm just sort of
bandaged up right now.
439
00:16:54,587 --> 00:16:55,938
You must be Kate's parents.
440
00:16:56,022 --> 00:16:57,273
It's so nice
to meet you.
441
00:16:57,340 --> 00:16:58,941
Well, it's lovely
to meet you, too.
442
00:16:59,009 --> 00:17:00,609
So what happened?
443
00:17:00,677 --> 00:17:03,195
What happened is this one's
a hero, is what happened.
444
00:17:03,263 --> 00:17:05,431
Rescued two children
from a burning building.
445
00:17:05,499 --> 00:17:06,932
Can you imagine?
446
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:09,118
Not quite in time-- they
were both horribly burned.
447
00:17:09,186 --> 00:17:10,719
Have that sort of
crème brûlée face
448
00:17:10,787 --> 00:17:12,471
going on now, but he
saved their lives.
449
00:17:12,539 --> 00:17:13,806
Oh, my, Brian.
450
00:17:13,874 --> 00:17:15,541
I know, right?
So noble.
451
00:17:15,609 --> 00:17:17,510
Plus he's the only
one of my patients
452
00:17:17,577 --> 00:17:19,612
to never ask me
for hand work.
453
00:17:19,679 --> 00:17:21,414
Such a gentleman.
454
00:17:21,481 --> 00:17:22,515
Never even
tried anything
455
00:17:22,582 --> 00:17:24,250
when I'm giving
him a sponge bath.
456
00:17:24,317 --> 00:17:25,418
And I'm very
thorough.
457
00:17:25,485 --> 00:17:27,052
I will wash the
abdominals.
458
00:17:27,120 --> 00:17:28,621
Not all nurses
do, but I do.
459
00:17:28,688 --> 00:17:29,889
And yes, sometimes
I graze it,
460
00:17:29,956 --> 00:17:31,023
but you know what?
461
00:17:31,091 --> 00:17:32,091
I'm a healthcare
professional.
462
00:17:32,159 --> 00:17:33,659
It's what I do.
It's my work.
463
00:17:33,727 --> 00:17:34,794
It's important
to me,
464
00:17:34,861 --> 00:17:36,595
and this one
respects that.
465
00:17:36,663 --> 00:17:39,498
And I'm very
grateful.
466
00:17:39,566 --> 00:17:40,983
Why are you here again?
467
00:17:42,736 --> 00:17:44,520
Oh, my God!
I am so, so sorry.
468
00:17:44,588 --> 00:17:46,288
Uh, it's no problem.
Don't worry about it.
469
00:17:47,424 --> 00:17:48,791
What's that smell?
470
00:17:48,859 --> 00:17:50,693
It smells like
wet dog in here.
471
00:17:52,062 --> 00:17:55,331
That is the... the
smell of backed up,
472
00:17:55,398 --> 00:17:57,366
unreleased
genital essence.
473
00:17:57,434 --> 00:18:00,035
As I said, he's been
an amazing gentleman.
474
00:18:00,103 --> 00:18:02,087
Well, I'd like
to propose a toast.
475
00:18:02,155 --> 00:18:04,023
To Brian and Kate.
476
00:18:04,090 --> 00:18:05,958
I know we just met,
but you seem
477
00:18:06,026 --> 00:18:07,760
like you're really good
for our daughter.
478
00:18:07,828 --> 00:18:09,395
And risking your
life for those kids?
479
00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:10,696
You're a good
guy, Brian.
480
00:18:10,764 --> 00:18:12,465
A really good guy.
481
00:18:12,532 --> 00:18:13,699
Wow. Thanks.
482
00:18:16,603 --> 00:18:18,204
What's that
thumping noise?
483
00:18:18,271 --> 00:18:19,939
- It's your tail.
- Stop wagging your tail.
484
00:18:20,006 --> 00:18:21,574
I can't help it.
Do something.
485
00:18:24,811 --> 00:18:26,362
Oh... oh, damn it.
486
00:18:26,446 --> 00:18:28,030
I meant hold it,
not cut it off.
487
00:18:28,114 --> 00:18:29,181
You weren't specific.
488
00:18:29,232 --> 00:18:30,316
I've never done
this before.
489
00:18:30,367 --> 00:18:31,734
Are you okay, Brian?
490
00:18:31,818 --> 00:18:34,186
Yeah, I'm just so happy
to meet you both.
491
00:18:36,490 --> 00:18:37,990
What the hell
are you...
492
00:18:38,041 --> 00:18:40,159
I'm cauterizing your tail.
Trust me, I'm a nurse.
493
00:18:41,394 --> 00:18:42,461
Brian?
494
00:18:42,529 --> 00:18:43,662
What's going on
over there?
495
00:18:43,730 --> 00:18:45,764
I think
they burned our dinner.
496
00:18:45,832 --> 00:18:47,316
Oh, God, it hurts.
It hurts, Stewie.
497
00:18:47,384 --> 00:18:48,834
Here's a little
morphine.
498
00:18:48,885 --> 00:18:51,270
What the hell? You're not
gonna stick me with that thing.
499
00:18:51,338 --> 00:18:53,038
I don't think
that's a real nurse.
500
00:18:53,089 --> 00:18:54,590
Just hold still.
Pretend you're at the vet.
501
00:18:54,674 --> 00:18:55,875
Vet?
I hate the vet!
502
00:18:57,210 --> 00:18:58,827
There's a dog
in here!
503
00:19:00,630 --> 00:19:02,414
Yes! Okay?
504
00:19:02,482 --> 00:19:04,550
There's a dog in here.
I'm a dog!
505
00:19:09,856 --> 00:19:11,590
I'm so sorry, Kate.
506
00:19:11,658 --> 00:19:13,459
I-I know you hate
dogs, and I...
507
00:19:13,527 --> 00:19:15,995
I wanted to tell you--
I-I really did--
508
00:19:16,062 --> 00:19:17,830
but I-I just thought...
509
00:19:17,898 --> 00:19:20,165
I thought, if we got to know
each other better first,
510
00:19:20,233 --> 00:19:22,151
you would eventually
be able to see past it.
511
00:19:22,219 --> 00:19:23,469
"See."
512
00:19:23,537 --> 00:19:25,237
And I... I just... I
really care about you,
513
00:19:25,305 --> 00:19:27,139
and I really want this
to work, and I'm...
514
00:19:27,207 --> 00:19:29,208
I'm so sorry I didn't
tell you before.
515
00:19:29,259 --> 00:19:31,493
Can you ever forgive me?
516
00:19:31,561 --> 00:19:33,729
Do you think that you
can still be with me?
517
00:19:33,797 --> 00:19:35,998
You know what, Brian?
518
00:19:36,066 --> 00:19:38,284
I could have gotten over
the fact that you're a dog,
519
00:19:38,351 --> 00:19:40,002
because I really do
care about you
520
00:19:40,070 --> 00:19:41,737
and I feel like we had
a connection,
521
00:19:41,805 --> 00:19:44,073
but I can't get over the fact
that you lied to me.
522
00:19:44,140 --> 00:19:45,374
You screwed up, Brian.
523
00:19:45,442 --> 00:19:47,209
And now you're
going to have to watch me
524
00:19:47,277 --> 00:19:48,661
walk out that door.
525
00:20:03,627 --> 00:20:06,495
Well, it sounds
like I'm needed outside.
526
00:20:11,568 --> 00:20:13,269
Mom, what were
all those carpenters
527
00:20:13,336 --> 00:20:14,470
doing here today?
528
00:20:14,537 --> 00:20:16,272
Putting back our old
crappy stairs, Meg.
529
00:20:16,339 --> 00:20:17,806
I didn't have a choice.
530
00:20:17,891 --> 00:20:19,558
Yay! I love my old stairs!
531
00:20:21,661 --> 00:20:24,179
Uh-oh,
I forgot to cut Joe down.
532
00:20:24,264 --> 00:20:26,749
Joe, what are you
doing up there?
533
00:20:26,816 --> 00:20:28,517
Enjoying Heaven, Bonnie.
534
00:20:28,585 --> 00:20:30,119
Come join me.
535
00:20:30,186 --> 00:20:32,354
There's a gun in
my nightstand.
536
00:20:35,108 --> 00:20:36,375
Brian, I know
you're upset
537
00:20:36,443 --> 00:20:37,776
about what happened with
Kate and everything,
538
00:20:37,844 --> 00:20:39,211
but I did have
one more thought.
539
00:20:39,279 --> 00:20:40,579
Yeah, what's that?
540
00:20:40,647 --> 00:20:41,880
Well, since Kate is blind,
541
00:20:41,948 --> 00:20:43,582
you could probably just
do a different voice
542
00:20:43,650 --> 00:20:45,317
and go out with her
all over again.
543
00:20:50,611 --> 00:20:52,011
Hey. Are you Kate?
544
00:20:52,036 --> 00:20:52,811
Yes.
545
00:20:52,867 --> 00:20:55,069
- Hey, it's Noah from JDate.
- Oh, my God! Hi!
546
00:20:55,136 --> 00:20:59,136
== sync, corrected by elderman ==