1
00:00:03,289 --> 00:00:05,423
What's wrong with the TV.
Nothing, Chris.
2
00:00:05,468 --> 00:00:06,735
All the shows are
in widescreen now.
3
00:00:06,803 --> 00:00:08,654
So you can see all
the stuff on the sides
4
00:00:08,722 --> 00:00:10,222
that you
couldn't before.
5
00:00:10,290 --> 00:00:11,557
We now return to The Brady Bunch.
6
00:00:11,624 --> 00:00:12,558
See, look.
7
00:00:12,625 --> 00:00:14,026
Here's what you used to see.
8
00:00:14,094 --> 00:00:15,027
Good night, Mike.
9
00:00:15,095 --> 00:00:16,228
Good night, Carol.
10
00:00:16,296 --> 00:00:18,163
And here's the stuff you missed.
11
00:00:26,106 --> 00:00:29,975
♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
12
00:00:30,043 --> 00:00:33,395
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
13
00:00:33,463 --> 00:00:36,515
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
14
00:00:36,599 --> 00:00:39,485
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
15
00:00:39,552 --> 00:00:43,439
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
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00:00:43,506 --> 00:00:46,525
♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪
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00:00:46,609 --> 00:00:48,143
♪ All the things that make us ♪
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00:00:48,211 --> 00:00:49,878
♪ Laugh and cry ♪
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00:00:49,946 --> 00:00:51,713
♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
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00:00:51,781 --> 00:00:55,615
Family Guy 9x02
Excellence in Broadcasting
Original Air Date on October 3, 2010
21
00:00:55,683 --> 00:00:59,201
-- Sync, corrected by elderman --
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
22
00:01:02,024 --> 00:01:03,358
Good evening, I'm Tom Tucker.
23
00:01:03,426 --> 00:01:04,726
Diane can't be with us today.
24
00:01:04,794 --> 00:01:05,860
Where is Diane, Ollie?
25
00:01:05,928 --> 00:01:07,395
She dead!
Thanks, Ollie.
26
00:01:07,463 --> 00:01:08,897
Yes, Diane is no longer with us.
27
00:01:08,964 --> 00:01:10,598
She was shot by
an unknown assailant,
28
00:01:10,666 --> 00:01:13,218
after she herself committed
a series of gruesome murders.
29
00:01:13,285 --> 00:01:15,653
I'd like to welcome
our new co-anchor, Joyce Kinney.
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00:01:15,721 --> 00:01:17,255
Welcome, Joyce.
Thanks, Tom.
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00:01:17,323 --> 00:01:19,791
Wow, you sound crazy nervous.
32
00:01:19,859 --> 00:01:21,659
In local news,
there was a hit-and-run
33
00:01:21,727 --> 00:01:23,728
by a drunk driver today
at Quahog Park.
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00:01:23,796 --> 00:01:24,996
Two children are missing.
35
00:01:26,098 --> 00:01:27,999
I was just there.
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00:01:28,067 --> 00:01:29,284
Oh, boy.
37
00:01:29,351 --> 00:01:30,885
Don't let Brian see this.
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00:01:30,953 --> 00:01:32,871
It says here that Rush Limbaugh
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00:01:32,938 --> 00:01:34,689
will be signing books
at the Quahog Mall.
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00:01:34,757 --> 00:01:36,291
BRIAN
I have very good hearing!
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00:01:37,526 --> 00:01:38,593
He's awful.
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00:01:38,661 --> 00:01:40,078
But I thought
Rush Limbaugh is
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00:01:40,146 --> 00:01:42,430
a fictional character
played by Fred Savage.
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00:01:42,498 --> 00:01:43,431
Where'd you
hear that?
45
00:01:43,499 --> 00:01:44,449
Fox News.
46
00:01:44,517 --> 00:01:45,550
Then it's a lie.
47
00:01:45,634 --> 00:01:47,135
Everything Fox News
says is a lie.
48
00:01:47,203 --> 00:01:48,470
But this one's true, Mom.
49
00:01:48,537 --> 00:01:50,171
You saw it with your own eyes
50
00:01:50,222 --> 00:01:52,173
and then you reported it
on Fox News.
51
00:01:52,241 --> 00:01:55,677
Even true things, once said
on Fox News, become lies.
52
00:01:55,745 --> 00:01:57,078
Why's Limbaugh
coming here?
53
00:01:57,146 --> 00:02:00,248
Don't they have bookstores
at the Nazi fascist...
54
00:02:00,316 --> 00:02:02,817
fascist fat camp
where he, where he go--
55
00:02:02,885 --> 00:02:04,385
where he, where he is
a counselor?
56
00:02:04,453 --> 00:02:05,854
I tell you what, Brian,
57
00:02:05,921 --> 00:02:07,789
if you want, we'll give you
another crack at that.
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00:02:07,857 --> 00:02:10,358
This guy single-handedly
set political discourse back
59
00:02:10,409 --> 00:02:11,659
a hundred years.
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00:02:11,727 --> 00:02:13,161
You know what? I'm
gonna go down there
61
00:02:13,228 --> 00:02:15,363
and give that bastard
Limbaugh a piece of my mind.
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00:02:15,431 --> 00:02:18,333
But first I'm gonna sit here and
stare at this brown paper bag
63
00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:20,268
I'm pretty sure has food in it.
64
00:02:24,673 --> 00:02:25,573
No!
65
00:02:25,641 --> 00:02:26,474
Ah, oh, well.
66
00:02:33,349 --> 00:02:34,566
Look at him.
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00:02:34,650 --> 00:02:37,051
His side screwed up our country
for a generation.
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00:02:37,119 --> 00:02:38,286
I hate everything
about that man.
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00:02:38,354 --> 00:02:39,888
I'm gonna go
tear him a new one.
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00:02:39,955 --> 00:02:41,990
I'm gonna go find some
hardcover photography books
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00:02:42,057 --> 00:02:45,059
of tasteful nudes.
72
00:02:45,127 --> 00:02:47,996
Oh, my God, yes,
that is tasteful.
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00:02:50,950 --> 00:02:53,034
Hey, my friend,
who should I make this out to?
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00:02:53,102 --> 00:02:54,786
Listen, Limbaugh, my
name is Brian Griffin,
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00:02:54,854 --> 00:02:56,721
and I have got
something to say to you.
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00:02:56,789 --> 00:02:58,456
Our republic has
been bastardized
77
00:02:58,524 --> 00:03:00,558
and royally screwed up
thanks to you jackasses.
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00:03:00,626 --> 00:03:01,593
You suck!
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00:03:01,660 --> 00:03:02,827
And you're terrible.
80
00:03:02,895 --> 00:03:04,429
And... and-and
you've div--
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00:03:04,497 --> 00:03:06,331
you've been divorced
several times.
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00:03:06,398 --> 00:03:08,433
Yes, uh, valid points
you're raising, my friend,
83
00:03:08,501 --> 00:03:09,868
and I respect you
for raising them.
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00:03:09,935 --> 00:03:11,386
But may I ask you a question?
85
00:03:11,453 --> 00:03:12,387
Okay.
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00:03:12,454 --> 00:03:13,521
Have you ever read
87
00:03:13,589 --> 00:03:14,789
anything I've written?
88
00:03:14,857 --> 00:03:16,291
Well, no, I haven't.
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00:03:16,358 --> 00:03:18,092
But I've read things
other people have written
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00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:20,295
about the things you've written,
and I do not approve
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00:03:20,362 --> 00:03:21,763
of the things
I've read from others
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00:03:21,831 --> 00:03:23,164
about the things
they've read from you.
93
00:03:23,232 --> 00:03:24,365
Not one bit, sir.
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00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:26,935
For crying out loud, Brian,
read my book.
95
00:03:27,002 --> 00:03:28,269
Judge for yourself.
96
00:03:28,337 --> 00:03:31,539
I'd sooner spend a night
watching European porn.
97
00:03:31,607 --> 00:03:33,675
MAN
Provo! Provo!
WOMAN
Ah-shnork! Ah-shnork!
98
00:03:33,742 --> 00:03:35,677
Provo!
Ah-shnork!
99
00:03:35,744 --> 00:03:38,112
Provo! Provo!
Ah-shnork! Ah-shnork!
100
00:03:38,180 --> 00:03:40,148
Kaloooooof!
A'gerta!
101
00:03:43,853 --> 00:03:46,087
Stupid right-wing dick.
102
00:03:46,154 --> 00:03:47,956
Yeah, you--
Hey, y-you want to sign my book?
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00:03:48,007 --> 00:03:50,441
Yeah, you can sign my ass book.
104
00:03:50,509 --> 00:03:52,177
Is what would've been
awesome to say.
105
00:03:55,664 --> 00:03:59,467
Oh, no. It's a multiracial
TV gang, including white guys.
106
00:03:59,535 --> 00:04:01,986
Well, well,
what do we got here?
107
00:04:02,054 --> 00:04:04,322
Let's beat him up,
but not because of his color,
108
00:04:04,390 --> 00:04:06,424
'cause that doesn't
matter to us.
109
00:05:00,713 --> 00:05:01,713
Wow.
110
00:05:01,780 --> 00:05:02,981
Thanks, Rush.
111
00:05:03,048 --> 00:05:04,465
Ah, it was nothing.
I mean, you'd have
112
00:05:04,533 --> 00:05:05,433
done the same
thing for me.
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00:05:05,501 --> 00:05:07,418
Uh, yeah, of course.
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00:05:07,486 --> 00:05:09,454
Hey, you-you
dropped something.
115
00:05:09,521 --> 00:05:11,422
You think you might
give it a read now?
116
00:05:11,490 --> 00:05:13,524
Uh, well...
117
00:05:13,592 --> 00:05:15,710
What-What if I stick a piece
of bologna in the book,
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00:05:15,778 --> 00:05:17,145
and I don't tell you which page?
119
00:05:17,212 --> 00:05:18,613
Would you read it, then, Brian?
120
00:05:18,681 --> 00:05:20,698
Would you read it to find
the page with the bologna?
121
00:05:20,766 --> 00:05:23,234
Okay, look, I'll read
four pages of your book tonight.
122
00:05:23,302 --> 00:05:24,302
All right?
Four pages.
123
00:05:24,370 --> 00:05:25,370
That's it.
124
00:05:25,437 --> 00:05:27,105
And maybe more
if tonight's episode
125
00:05:27,172 --> 00:05:28,573
of The Office
ends up sucking.
126
00:05:32,778 --> 00:05:33,711
Four pages. Done.
127
00:05:33,779 --> 00:05:35,396
Moving on.
128
00:05:35,464 --> 00:05:38,516
RAINN WILSON:
I know my staplers
by sound and by weight.
129
00:05:38,584 --> 00:05:41,502
And that stapler, good sir,
is a "Schrute."
130
00:05:41,570 --> 00:05:44,706
Ha! Look at John Krasinski
look at the camera.
131
00:05:44,773 --> 00:05:46,257
He can't believe
this guy!
132
00:05:47,793 --> 00:05:50,244
Aw, but there were gonna be
more high jinks in Scranton.
133
00:05:50,312 --> 00:05:52,230
Scranton.
134
00:05:52,298 --> 00:05:53,448
Dunder Mifflin.
135
00:05:54,616 --> 00:05:56,934
Funny words
are funny.
136
00:06:13,719 --> 00:06:15,336
Oh, my God.
137
00:06:15,404 --> 00:06:17,405
Rush Limbaugh
was right all along.
138
00:06:17,473 --> 00:06:20,408
Conservative Republicanism
is the answer.
139
00:06:20,476 --> 00:06:22,343
Good. Good for Brian.
140
00:06:22,411 --> 00:06:23,494
Brian, look at this.
141
00:06:23,562 --> 00:06:25,380
Now, this is a
tasteful nude.
142
00:06:25,447 --> 00:06:28,883
It's called "A Saucy Outing
In Tottenham Court Square."
143
00:06:34,957 --> 00:06:37,559
Brian, are you reading the
new Rush Limbaugh book?
144
00:06:37,627 --> 00:06:39,561
Yeah, I picked it up
at the mall yesterday.
145
00:06:39,629 --> 00:06:41,029
I-I can't believe
I'm saying this,
146
00:06:41,097 --> 00:06:43,982
but this might be
the best book I've ever read.
147
00:06:44,050 --> 00:06:45,150
Brian, you got
to be joking.
148
00:06:45,218 --> 00:06:46,685
No, I mean it, Lois.
149
00:06:46,752 --> 00:06:49,087
You know, I've never actually
read any of Limbaugh's stuff,
150
00:06:49,155 --> 00:06:51,022
but this book
makes an excellent case for
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00:06:51,090 --> 00:06:53,308
personal accountability,
fiscal responsibility
152
00:06:53,376 --> 00:06:54,543
and steak eatership.
153
00:06:54,610 --> 00:06:56,812
But you're a
hard-core liberal.
154
00:06:56,863 --> 00:06:59,131
Rush Limbaugh is a
right-wing extremist.
155
00:06:59,198 --> 00:07:01,366
He stands for
everything you despise.
156
00:07:01,434 --> 00:07:03,201
My loyalty is to reason, Lois.
157
00:07:03,269 --> 00:07:05,570
And as a reasonable person,
I reserve the right
158
00:07:05,638 --> 00:07:07,189
to change my mind
when presented with
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00:07:07,256 --> 00:07:09,191
new information
that alters my perspective.
160
00:07:09,258 --> 00:07:11,610
And I got to tell you,
I had this guy all wrong.
161
00:07:11,694 --> 00:07:14,696
I mean, some of the stuff
in here is-- hey, bologna!
162
00:07:18,868 --> 00:07:20,218
Thank you, friends.
163
00:07:20,286 --> 00:07:22,737
It's always a pleasure
to meet regular, real Americans.
164
00:07:22,805 --> 00:07:23,588
Love the
Hummer, Rush.
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00:07:23,656 --> 00:07:24,656
How do you like it?
166
00:07:24,740 --> 00:07:26,191
It is the best.
167
00:07:26,259 --> 00:07:28,677
I'm not saying you'd have to be
gay to drive something else.
168
00:07:28,744 --> 00:07:30,195
But if you drive
something else,
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00:07:30,263 --> 00:07:32,814
you're probably a guy who likes
to pleasure other men sexually.
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00:07:33,966 --> 00:07:35,717
Hey, it's my new
friend, Brian!
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00:07:35,784 --> 00:07:36,718
Hi, Rush.
172
00:07:36,786 --> 00:07:38,587
Listen, I-I have to tell you,
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00:07:38,638 --> 00:07:41,006
I read your book
and it was very persuasive.
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00:07:41,073 --> 00:07:42,340
I knew you'd like it,
175
00:07:42,408 --> 00:07:44,142
and I'm glad you enjoyed
it, Brian, I really am.
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00:07:44,210 --> 00:07:45,844
Oh, I-I more than enjoyed it.
177
00:07:45,912 --> 00:07:48,113
Ev-Every page
just spoke to
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00:07:48,181 --> 00:07:50,115
And-And, you know,
talking to you now, I just,
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00:07:50,183 --> 00:07:51,600
I-I want to find
the right words
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00:07:51,667 --> 00:07:53,368
to describe how much
I agree with you.
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00:07:53,436 --> 00:07:54,769
I got the
words, Brian.
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00:07:54,837 --> 00:07:56,771
"Thank you, Rush,
for doing my thinking for me,
183
00:07:56,839 --> 00:07:58,506
"'cause I lack
the ability to think
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00:07:58,574 --> 00:08:00,375
critically and independently."
Yes, that!
185
00:08:00,443 --> 00:08:01,977
You should be proud
of yourself, Brian.
186
00:08:02,044 --> 00:08:03,712
I mean, you sound like
a thoughtful American.
187
00:08:03,779 --> 00:08:06,164
Well, listen, I'd really love
to pick your brain some more
188
00:08:06,232 --> 00:08:07,632
and hear some of
your other thoughts
189
00:08:07,700 --> 00:08:09,100
about what's going on
in this country.
190
00:08:09,168 --> 00:08:11,670
I can do even better
than that, Brian.
191
00:08:23,449 --> 00:08:24,583
Wow.
192
00:08:24,650 --> 00:08:25,850
Never thought
I'd set foot
193
00:08:25,918 --> 00:08:27,586
inside Republican
National Headquarters.
194
00:08:27,653 --> 00:08:28,687
This is amazing.
195
00:08:28,754 --> 00:08:30,121
And it gets better, Brian.
196
00:08:30,189 --> 00:08:32,624
Come on, I'm gonna introduce you
to some of my pals here.
197
00:08:32,708 --> 00:08:34,826
Brian, meet George W. Bush.
198
00:08:34,894 --> 00:08:35,927
Hey, Georgie!
199
00:08:35,995 --> 00:08:38,179
Uncle Rush!
200
00:08:38,247 --> 00:08:40,065
Hey! Whoo!
201
00:08:40,132 --> 00:08:41,499
You are getting heavy.
202
00:08:41,567 --> 00:08:43,835
I know.
I'm 64 and three-quarters.
203
00:08:43,903 --> 00:08:45,370
You sure are, slugger.
204
00:08:45,438 --> 00:08:47,138
Hey, you got one for me?
205
00:08:47,206 --> 00:08:48,423
What? What are you
talking about?
206
00:08:48,491 --> 00:08:50,258
Oh, come on, Uncle Rush.
207
00:08:50,326 --> 00:08:51,559
I-I don't know what
you're talking about, really.
208
00:08:51,627 --> 00:08:52,928
Come on!
209
00:08:52,995 --> 00:08:56,597
Oh. Wait a second.
210
00:08:56,649 --> 00:08:57,849
Yay! Yippee!
211
00:08:57,917 --> 00:08:58,950
Thanks, Uncle Rush!
212
00:08:59,018 --> 00:09:00,368
Don't tell my dad.
213
00:09:00,436 --> 00:09:02,370
Hey, there, Rush.
How you doing?
214
00:09:02,438 --> 00:09:03,571
Hey, John.
215
00:09:03,639 --> 00:09:05,273
Hey, I'd like you to meet
my friend, Brian.
216
00:09:05,341 --> 00:09:06,942
Brian, John McCain.
217
00:09:07,009 --> 00:09:08,677
Gosh, it sure is
a pleasure, Mr. McCain.
218
00:09:08,744 --> 00:09:10,362
How do you two know each other?
219
00:09:10,429 --> 00:09:12,430
Oh, Rush and I used to
solve mysteries together
220
00:09:12,498 --> 00:09:13,465
back in the day.
221
00:09:17,003 --> 00:09:18,787
I don't understand, John.
222
00:09:18,854 --> 00:09:21,856
The groundskeeper said he saw
the mummy burning the flag.
223
00:09:21,924 --> 00:09:23,692
But mummies don't
hate America.
224
00:09:23,759 --> 00:09:24,893
They sure
don't, Rush.
225
00:09:24,961 --> 00:09:26,461
But Democrats do.
226
00:09:26,529 --> 00:09:27,829
Ruh-roh.
227
00:09:27,897 --> 00:09:29,130
Remocrats.
228
00:09:30,566 --> 00:09:32,117
Oh, it's okay, Hot Dog.
229
00:09:32,184 --> 00:09:35,787
But I think it's time we unravel
the mummy and the mystery.
230
00:09:39,425 --> 00:09:40,825
I don't get
it, John.
231
00:09:40,893 --> 00:09:43,061
How's a pig gonna help
us lure the mummy?
232
00:09:43,129 --> 00:09:46,398
Rush, I've never known
a Democrat to pass up pork.
233
00:09:53,839 --> 00:09:55,173
Gotcha!
234
00:09:56,325 --> 00:09:58,009
Now let's find out
235
00:09:58,077 --> 00:10:00,795
who you really are.
236
00:10:00,846 --> 00:10:02,630
RUSH and JOHN:
It's old man Barney Frank!
237
00:10:02,698 --> 00:10:04,566
And I would have
gotten away with it, too,
238
00:10:04,633 --> 00:10:06,935
if it weren't for you
meddling Republicans.
239
00:10:07,003 --> 00:10:08,670
Thanks for all your help,
Globetrotters.
240
00:10:08,738 --> 00:10:10,739
That was a cold swish.
241
00:10:10,806 --> 00:10:11,973
Put her there.
242
00:10:12,041 --> 00:10:13,708
Aw, no, no, no, no.
243
00:10:19,198 --> 00:10:22,467
Look, Brian, all I'm saying is,
it's not normal for people
244
00:10:22,535 --> 00:10:25,420
to change their political views
so radically overnight.
245
00:10:25,488 --> 00:10:27,722
Lois, no offense,
but you don't exactly know
246
00:10:27,790 --> 00:10:29,140
what you're talking about.
247
00:10:29,208 --> 00:10:30,475
I mean, you're-you're not
exactly a fountain
248
00:10:30,543 --> 00:10:32,143
of political knowledge yourself.
249
00:10:32,211 --> 00:10:34,679
You want to know
what I think is happening here?
250
00:10:34,747 --> 00:10:36,548
Oh, this should be
rich and overtaxed.
251
00:10:36,615 --> 00:10:38,983
I think you just got to be
in the "out" group.
252
00:10:39,051 --> 00:10:41,870
Whoever's on top, whoever's
in power, whoever's successful,
253
00:10:41,937 --> 00:10:43,872
you got to be
on the other side
254
00:10:43,939 --> 00:10:46,174
or you don't feel like
the smartest guy in the room.
255
00:10:46,242 --> 00:10:48,343
All you are, my dear,
is a contrarian.
256
00:10:48,411 --> 00:10:50,578
Oh, please, you could
not be more off base.
257
00:10:50,646 --> 00:10:53,148
Oh, yeah? Let me ask, what did
you think of the movie Titanic?
258
00:10:53,215 --> 00:10:54,983
Horrible. One of the
worst movies ever made.
259
00:10:55,051 --> 00:10:56,751
Mm-hmm. How about
Slumdog Millionaire?
260
00:10:56,819 --> 00:10:58,186
Overrated. Just
a terrible movie.
261
00:10:58,254 --> 00:10:59,254
Cocktail.
262
00:10:59,321 --> 00:11:00,989
Actually, not
a bad film.
263
00:11:01,057 --> 00:11:02,974
You know, as classically
structured cinema,
264
00:11:03,042 --> 00:11:04,943
Cocktail was one of the
best films of its era.
265
00:11:05,010 --> 00:11:06,761
You make me sick, Brian.
266
00:11:06,829 --> 00:11:09,197
Look, Lois, if I were you,
I'd stow that attitude,
267
00:11:09,265 --> 00:11:11,533
because Rush Limbaugh is
coming over for dinner tonight.
268
00:11:15,738 --> 00:11:18,239
Lois, this dinner
looks delicious.
269
00:11:18,307 --> 00:11:19,474
Oh, well, thank you.
270
00:11:19,542 --> 00:11:20,575
Dig in, everyone.
271
00:11:20,643 --> 00:11:21,910
Whoa, hang on, hang on.
272
00:11:21,977 --> 00:11:23,378
I think you're forgetting
the grace, Lois.
273
00:11:24,713 --> 00:11:28,383
Dear God who definitely
exists, we, your people,
274
00:11:28,451 --> 00:11:30,919
who have been on this
planet for 6,000 years
275
00:11:30,986 --> 00:11:33,855
and not a second more, wish
to thank you for this bounty,
276
00:11:33,923 --> 00:11:35,840
and for keeping Congress
predominantly white
277
00:11:35,908 --> 00:11:37,242
through Christ
our Lord, amen.
278
00:11:37,309 --> 00:11:40,712
So, Rush, I see you
made it here okay,
279
00:11:40,780 --> 00:11:43,982
driving on roads built with
public funds, by the government.
280
00:11:44,049 --> 00:11:45,583
Yeah, what about
that, Rush?
281
00:11:45,651 --> 00:11:47,702
I guess the government's
pretty good, like Lois says.
282
00:11:47,770 --> 00:11:50,388
Actually, I took the toll roads.
Privately built.
283
00:11:50,456 --> 00:11:52,974
Way smoother than the
crumbling public road system.
284
00:11:53,042 --> 00:11:55,126
Yeah, Lois. Government sucks
at doing stuff.
285
00:11:55,194 --> 00:11:56,961
Oh, no, toll roads
sound great.
286
00:11:57,029 --> 00:11:59,597
Too bad only the very rich
can afford to use them.
287
00:11:59,665 --> 00:12:00,765
I agree with Lois.
288
00:12:00,833 --> 00:12:02,333
Well, maybe more
people could
289
00:12:02,401 --> 00:12:04,602
if the government wasn't taxing
the bajeezus out of them.
290
00:12:04,670 --> 00:12:06,237
Now I agree with Rush.
291
00:12:06,305 --> 00:12:08,473
I'm too a'stupid
to make up my own mind.
292
00:12:08,541 --> 00:12:10,775
Yeah, okay. Whatever
you say, Rush.
293
00:12:10,843 --> 00:12:12,844
So... . nice
weather today.
294
00:12:12,912 --> 00:12:14,345
Yeah,
unseasonably cool.
295
00:12:14,413 --> 00:12:16,815
I guess we can forget
that whole global
warming myth.
296
00:12:16,882 --> 00:12:19,551
Global warming is not a myth,
you son of a bitch!
297
00:12:19,618 --> 00:12:21,269
Look, what the hell
are you so hostile for?
298
00:12:21,337 --> 00:12:23,304
Because you brainwashed
our dog.
299
00:12:23,372 --> 00:12:24,772
Hey, listen,
sister, I just...
300
00:12:27,510 --> 00:12:29,277
I'm sorry.
301
00:12:29,345 --> 00:12:32,780
Look, all I did was expose Brian
to a different way of thinking.
302
00:12:32,848 --> 00:12:34,983
He embraced... Oh, God,
I'm gonna move over here.
303
00:12:35,050 --> 00:12:36,818
He embraced it
on his own, Lois.
304
00:12:36,886 --> 00:12:38,386
Well, after Rush
opened my eyes,
305
00:12:38,454 --> 00:12:41,222
I am seeing the world
in a whole new way now.
306
00:12:41,290 --> 00:12:43,992
To quote a famous troublemaker,
"I have a dream..."
307
00:12:47,980 --> 00:12:51,499
♪ I dream of Republicantown ♪
308
00:12:51,550 --> 00:12:53,601
♪ Where men to the
right of the aisle ♪
309
00:12:53,669 --> 00:12:55,136
♪ Don't back down ♪
310
00:12:55,204 --> 00:12:58,940
♪ The streets are aglow
with the smell of apple pies ♪
311
00:12:59,008 --> 00:13:02,393
♪ And babies come out of the
womb in coats and ties... ♪
312
00:13:02,461 --> 00:13:03,761
Nice place, huh, Rush?
313
00:13:03,829 --> 00:13:05,563
It's a paradise, Brian.
314
00:13:05,648 --> 00:13:09,050
♪ Trees grow
from Republican sod ♪
315
00:13:09,118 --> 00:13:12,470
♪ And everyone prays to
a proper right-wing god ♪
316
00:13:12,538 --> 00:13:14,539
♪ Republican Catholics? ♪
317
00:13:14,607 --> 00:13:16,274
♪ Yes, indeed, there are ♪
318
00:13:16,342 --> 00:13:17,909
♪ Republican Muslims? ♪
319
00:13:17,977 --> 00:13:19,677
♪ Well, let's not
go too far ♪
320
00:13:19,745 --> 00:13:20,879
No Muslims?
321
00:13:20,946 --> 00:13:22,213
Nah, too many
tall buildings.
322
00:13:22,281 --> 00:13:24,999
♪ They've outlawed
all abortions ♪
323
00:13:25,067 --> 00:13:26,834
♪ Late or early ♪
324
00:13:26,902 --> 00:13:29,837
♪ It's a sin we can't abide ♪
325
00:13:29,905 --> 00:13:34,442
♪ What if you find
a fetus left abandoned? ♪
326
00:13:34,510 --> 00:13:37,278
♪ We just take it and
we jam it back inside ♪
327
00:13:37,346 --> 00:13:41,316
♪ Oh, yes, 'cause I dream
of Republicantown ♪
328
00:13:41,383 --> 00:13:45,053
♪ The place where the happiest
smile is Cheney's frown ♪
329
00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:48,590
♪ I'll bet you a buck y won't
find a damn thing wrong ♪
330
00:13:48,657 --> 00:13:50,575
♪ 'Cause when
you come down to it ♪
331
00:13:50,643 --> 00:13:53,594
♪ This is where we all belong ♪
332
00:13:53,646 --> 00:13:54,746
Who else lives here?
333
00:13:54,813 --> 00:13:56,331
Oh, big names, Lois.
334
00:13:56,398 --> 00:13:59,450
♪ We're watching
Republican stars ♪
335
00:13:59,518 --> 00:14:03,187
♪ Like sweet Mickey Rourke and
his gorgeous right-wing scars ♪
336
00:14:03,255 --> 00:14:05,206
♪ Chuck Norris is one ♪
337
00:14:05,274 --> 00:14:06,858
♪ And he's got
a right-wing beard ♪
338
00:14:06,926 --> 00:14:08,793
♪ Jon Voight is another ♪
339
00:14:08,877 --> 00:14:10,695
♪ He's just
right-wing weird... ♪
340
00:14:10,763 --> 00:14:13,614
His, uh... his daughter's
pretty hot, though.
341
00:14:13,666 --> 00:14:15,383
At one time, Brian.
At one time.
342
00:14:16,835 --> 00:14:19,420
♪ But how about
global warming? ♪
343
00:14:19,488 --> 00:14:21,656
♪ It's a snow job ♪
344
00:14:21,724 --> 00:14:24,309
♪ By Obama and his crew ♪
345
00:14:24,376 --> 00:14:28,730
♪ But aren't all his
findings backed by science? ♪
346
00:14:28,797 --> 00:14:31,249
♪ Careful, Lois, now
you're sounding like a Jew ♪
347
00:14:31,317 --> 00:14:32,367
Oy.
348
00:14:32,434 --> 00:14:35,837
♪ We dream of Republicantown ♪
349
00:14:35,904 --> 00:14:39,440
♪ Where Clinton is viewed
as a crazy commie clown ♪
350
00:14:39,508 --> 00:14:43,144
♪ A place where America's
growing free and strong ♪
351
00:14:43,212 --> 00:14:46,264
♪ 'Cause when you come down
to it, this is where ♪
352
00:14:46,332 --> 00:14:52,303
♪ We. all... belong. ♪
353
00:14:54,189 --> 00:14:56,924
Well, I got to tell you, I'm
not buying any of this crap.
354
00:14:56,992 --> 00:14:59,193
Rush, we want our dog back.
355
00:14:59,261 --> 00:15:00,628
Whoa, hang on, Lois.
356
00:15:00,696 --> 00:15:02,630
What are you saying?
I don't have a mind of my own?
357
00:15:02,698 --> 00:15:04,265
That's insulting.
And-and you know what?
358
00:15:04,316 --> 00:15:05,566
I don't, I don't
like the way
359
00:15:05,634 --> 00:15:07,251
you've been talking
to Rush this evening.
360
00:15:07,319 --> 00:15:09,120
You know, I-I thought
you were my friends.
361
00:15:09,204 --> 00:15:11,489
But if you can't accept me
now that we disagree
362
00:15:11,557 --> 00:15:13,291
about certain things, then
maybe you aren't the friends
363
00:15:13,359 --> 00:15:15,076
I thought you were.
I'm moving out.
364
00:15:15,144 --> 00:15:16,878
What?!
No!
Again?
365
00:15:16,945 --> 00:15:18,379
I'm gonna go stay
with Rush Limbaugh.
366
00:15:18,447 --> 00:15:19,881
Right, Rush?
Huh?
367
00:15:19,948 --> 00:15:21,215
I'm gonna
stay with you.
368
00:15:21,283 --> 00:15:22,917
Uh... yeah, yeah, sure.
369
00:15:22,985 --> 00:15:24,118
That-That's fine.
370
00:15:24,186 --> 00:15:26,654
Oh, this is a bad idea.
371
00:15:26,722 --> 00:15:28,890
But I guess sometimes
Fox has bad ideas, huh?
372
00:15:30,359 --> 00:15:32,377
Let's all just sit here
for a moment
373
00:15:32,444 --> 00:15:34,696
and remember that
this was a thing.
374
00:15:42,197 --> 00:15:43,064
Morning, Rush.
375
00:15:43,121 --> 00:15:44,822
Hey, thanks again
for letting me stay here.
376
00:15:44,890 --> 00:15:46,724
Oh, it's not really
any trouble, Brian.
377
00:15:46,791 --> 00:15:48,559
What do you figure,
just a few days?
378
00:15:48,627 --> 00:15:49,827
Aw, man, who knows?
379
00:15:49,895 --> 00:15:51,662
It's just so good
to be out of there.
380
00:15:51,730 --> 00:15:53,497
Hey, you know, I've been
reading all your books
381
00:15:53,565 --> 00:15:55,583
and I so 100% agree with you.
382
00:15:55,650 --> 00:15:57,401
I mean, what is going
on with this country?
383
00:15:57,469 --> 00:15:59,069
I mean, wake up, America.
384
00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:02,106
I mean, these taxes, right?
I mean, am I right?
385
00:16:02,173 --> 00:16:03,374
About the taxes?
You know?
386
00:16:03,441 --> 00:16:04,541
Yeah, taxes are pretty high.
387
00:16:04,609 --> 00:16:06,343
Is-is-is that
a new coffee machine?
388
00:16:06,411 --> 00:16:08,646
Oh, yeah, I took the liberty
of replacing your old one
389
00:16:08,713 --> 00:16:10,064
with a new,
American-made coffee machine.
390
00:16:12,250 --> 00:16:13,917
In fact, I got
you a bunch
391
00:16:13,969 --> 00:16:15,469
of new, topnotch,
American-made stuff.
392
00:16:17,172 --> 00:16:18,772
What else did you buy?
393
00:16:18,857 --> 00:16:21,292
Oh, a couple things:
that light fixture...
394
00:16:21,359 --> 00:16:23,560
new heat regulator
on your stove...
395
00:16:23,612 --> 00:16:25,529
your man-bra...
396
00:16:25,597 --> 00:16:27,064
your garbage disposal...
397
00:16:27,132 --> 00:16:28,449
your dishwasher...
398
00:16:28,516 --> 00:16:29,583
and your new cat.
399
00:16:29,651 --> 00:16:32,236
Moo.
400
00:16:36,641 --> 00:16:38,909
And you're listening to
the Rush Limbaugh Show.
401
00:16:38,977 --> 00:16:41,095
I want to take a moment
to give a shout-out
402
00:16:41,162 --> 00:16:44,198
to my good friend Ken Lay,
faked his own death,
403
00:16:44,266 --> 00:16:46,100
listening in on
a ham radio somewhere
404
00:16:46,167 --> 00:16:47,384
in international waters.
405
00:16:47,452 --> 00:16:48,686
Smooth sailin', Kenny Boy.
406
00:16:48,753 --> 00:16:50,371
Hey, Rush?
407
00:16:50,438 --> 00:16:52,039
Is it okay to
hang out in here?
408
00:16:52,107 --> 00:16:53,958
Wh... All right, fine, just
don't say anything, okay?
409
00:16:55,844 --> 00:16:58,512
So, friends, we were
talking about Nancy Pelosi.
410
00:16:58,580 --> 00:16:59,713
How do we stop her?
411
00:16:59,781 --> 00:17:01,181
How do we stop
the Pelosi agenda--
412
00:17:01,249 --> 00:17:02,633
Hey, I'll tell you how.
413
00:17:02,701 --> 00:17:05,035
You strap her to a board,
put a cloth in her mouth
414
00:17:05,103 --> 00:17:06,570
and pour water over it
to simulate drowning.
415
00:17:06,638 --> 00:17:07,855
Yeah! Small government!
416
00:17:07,922 --> 00:17:10,457
And why don't we take
a short break here, folks.
417
00:17:10,525 --> 00:17:11,558
We'll be right back.
418
00:17:11,626 --> 00:17:12,943
Brian, are you nuts?
419
00:17:12,994 --> 00:17:15,129
What the hell kind of show
you think I'm doing here?.
420
00:17:15,196 --> 00:17:17,147
Wha-What? What are you...
Come on. Pelosi's a monster.
421
00:17:17,215 --> 00:17:19,650
And she's addicted to crack.
Come on, you're with me on this.
422
00:17:19,718 --> 00:17:21,051
Of course she's
addicted to crack,
423
00:17:21,119 --> 00:17:22,486
but you can't just say that.
424
00:17:22,554 --> 00:17:24,888
You got to lead people there
with an intelligent argument
425
00:17:24,956 --> 00:17:26,890
so they arrive at it
on their own.
426
00:17:26,958 --> 00:17:28,742
Hey, come on, man. We got to
tell people how it is.
427
00:17:28,810 --> 00:17:30,127
We got to get them
on board with us.
428
00:17:30,195 --> 00:17:32,696
Brian, look, there is no
victory unless people know why
429
00:17:32,764 --> 00:17:35,232
they were wrong to disagree
with you in the first place.
430
00:17:35,300 --> 00:17:37,034
Boy, do you sound soft.
431
00:17:37,102 --> 00:17:38,469
What the hell's
your problem, Brian?
432
00:17:38,536 --> 00:17:39,987
My-my problem?
433
00:17:40,055 --> 00:17:41,705
My-- right now my
problem seems to be
434
00:17:41,773 --> 00:17:43,340
that I am talking
to a Pelosi-lover.
435
00:17:43,408 --> 00:17:44,575
What?!
Yeah, that's right.
436
00:17:44,642 --> 00:17:45,876
You love Pelosi.
437
00:17:45,944 --> 00:17:47,811
You know what?
It's time for you to go.
438
00:17:47,879 --> 00:17:49,346
Right now.
Hey, fine.
439
00:17:49,397 --> 00:17:51,982
I don't have to sit here and
waste my time with a softie.
440
00:17:52,033 --> 00:17:53,233
You-you call
yourself a Republican?
441
00:17:53,301 --> 00:17:55,052
Republicans don't shy
away from a fight.
442
00:17:55,120 --> 00:17:56,520
And I'm gonna
prove it to you.
443
00:18:08,049 --> 00:18:09,433
Aha!
444
00:18:09,501 --> 00:18:10,901
Who are you?
445
00:18:10,969 --> 00:18:12,269
How did you get in here?
446
00:18:12,337 --> 00:18:13,554
Shut up, Pelosi.
447
00:18:13,621 --> 00:18:15,389
Are you here to take my baby?
448
00:18:15,457 --> 00:18:17,324
No, I'm here to strap
you to a board,
449
00:18:17,392 --> 00:18:19,710
put a cloth in your mouth
and pour water over it
450
00:18:19,778 --> 00:18:21,011
to simulate the
sensation of drowning.
451
00:18:21,079 --> 00:18:22,363
Yeah! Traditional values!
452
00:18:31,956 --> 00:18:34,041
Griffin, you been bailed out.
453
00:18:36,461 --> 00:18:38,562
Oh, Rush, thank God.
454
00:18:38,630 --> 00:18:39,930
Boy, you got down
hereuick.
455
00:18:39,998 --> 00:18:42,566
Yeah, I keep Strom Thurmond's
corpse in the front seat
456
00:18:42,634 --> 00:18:44,735
so I can use
the carpool lane.
Oh.
457
00:18:44,803 --> 00:18:46,236
Okay, well, come
on, let's go home.
458
00:18:46,304 --> 00:18:47,404
t idea.
459
00:18:47,472 --> 00:18:48,889
Tiou to go home.
460
00:18:48,957 --> 00:18:50,190
Home to the Griffins.
461
00:18:50,258 --> 00:18:52,092
Wh... What do you mean?
462
00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:53,894
That's where you
belong, Brian.
463
00:18:53,962 --> 00:18:55,329
You're not really
a conservative.
464
00:18:55,397 --> 00:18:56,530
What are you--
That's not true.
465
00:18:56,598 --> 00:18:57,631
I am conservative.
466
00:18:57,699 --> 00:18:58,866
I support the death penalty
467
00:18:58,933 --> 00:19:00,234
to show people
that killing is wrong.
468
00:19:00,301 --> 00:19:01,802
And that's great, Brian.
469
00:19:01,870 --> 00:19:03,804
Look, I-I make a living
persuading others
470
00:19:03,872 --> 00:19:05,205
to join my side.
471
00:19:05,273 --> 00:19:06,940
But I'd never,
ever want somebody
472
00:19:07,008 --> 00:19:08,409
to be something they're not.
473
00:19:08,476 --> 00:19:09,710
You're a liberal, Brian.
474
00:19:09,778 --> 00:19:11,478
I mean, what about
that four-year-old
475
00:19:11,546 --> 00:19:13,063
that was executed in Texas?
476
00:19:13,131 --> 00:19:15,499
There was a four-year-old
executed in Texas?
477
00:19:15,567 --> 00:19:19,103
Not really, but you see, Brian,
your concern betrays you.
478
00:19:19,170 --> 00:19:20,571
I know your type.
479
00:19:20,638 --> 00:19:22,272
It's not a coincidence
you turned your back
480
00:19:22,340 --> 00:19:24,308
on your democratic principles
just when the Democrats
481
00:19:24,375 --> 00:19:25,576
became the political
establishment.
482
00:19:25,643 --> 00:19:27,377
All you want is something
to fight against.
483
00:19:27,445 --> 00:19:29,413
I mean...
484
00:19:29,481 --> 00:19:31,498
I suppose we shouldn't
be executing children.
485
00:19:31,566 --> 00:19:32,499
You see?
486
00:19:32,567 --> 00:19:34,101
You're not really one of us.
487
00:19:34,169 --> 00:19:35,803
Oh, my God...
488
00:19:35,870 --> 00:19:37,805
Lois was right.
489
00:19:37,872 --> 00:19:41,642
Right there. See, the fact
that you would give a woman
credit for anything...
490
00:19:41,709 --> 00:19:43,410
it means you're
a liberal, Brian.
491
00:19:43,478 --> 00:19:47,381
It's time for you to spread
your two left wings and fly.
492
00:19:47,449 --> 00:19:50,617
Does this-- does this mean
I'll never see you again?
493
00:19:50,685 --> 00:19:53,070
Oh, I'll be around.
494
00:19:53,138 --> 00:19:54,705
Wherever there's
a rich white guy
495
00:19:54,772 --> 00:19:57,508
in need of another tax break,
I'll be there.
496
00:19:57,575 --> 00:19:59,476
Wherever there's
a brain-dead woman
497
00:19:59,544 --> 00:20:01,278
in need
of expensive life support
498
00:20:01,346 --> 00:20:04,181
her husband doesn't want,
I'll be there.
499
00:20:04,249 --> 00:20:06,583
Wherever there's a country
that needs to be invaded
500
00:20:06,651 --> 00:20:10,220
for reasons that don't exactly
pan out, I'll be there, too.
501
00:20:10,288 --> 00:20:12,523
Oh, yes, I will be around.
502
00:20:23,551 --> 00:20:24,618
Hey, Limbaugh.
503
00:20:26,254 --> 00:20:28,155
I think you're a boneheaded,
fascist,
504
00:20:28,223 --> 00:20:30,023
corporate-shilling blowhard.
505
00:20:30,091 --> 00:20:32,025
Look, you little smartass,
506
00:20:32,093 --> 00:20:34,828
I think you are a godless,
socialist, pot-smoking,
507
00:20:34,896 --> 00:20:36,296
maggot-infested member
508
00:20:36,364 --> 00:20:37,664
of the blame-America-first
crowd,
509
00:20:37,732 --> 00:20:39,700
and I think you want
the terrorists to win.
510
00:21:08,613 --> 00:21:12,165
-- Sync, corrected by elderman --
-- for www.addic7ed.com --