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00:00:01,896 --> 00:00:05,160
♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
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00:00:05,260 --> 00:00:08,546
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
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00:00:08,630 --> 00:00:12,032
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
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00:00:12,084 --> 00:00:15,002
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
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00:00:15,070 --> 00:00:18,823
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
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00:00:18,890 --> 00:00:21,826
♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪
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00:00:21,893 --> 00:00:23,427
♪ All the things that make us ♪
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00:00:23,512 --> 00:00:24,845
♪ Laugh and cry ♪
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00:00:24,896 --> 00:00:26,611
♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
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00:00:26,636 --> 00:00:30,136
♪ Family Guy 10x23 ♪
Internal Affairs
Original Air Date on May 20, 2012
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00:00:30,137 --> 00:00:33,637
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
12
00:00:34,823 --> 00:00:37,358
And now,
13
00:00:37,426 --> 00:00:39,627
"Movie and a Bath
with a Guy Named Lou."
14
00:00:39,695 --> 00:00:41,679
Hey. It's Saturday night,
and you know what that means.
15
00:00:41,747 --> 00:00:43,497
We're gonna take a bath
16
00:00:43,565 --> 00:00:46,684
and watch the 1984
interesting movie, Gremlins.
17
00:00:46,752 --> 00:00:48,603
Now, the Gremlins are funny.
18
00:00:48,670 --> 00:00:50,271
I don't know
if those things are puppets
19
00:00:50,339 --> 00:00:51,922
or they put costumes
on dogs or something,
20
00:00:51,990 --> 00:00:54,609
but let's press "play"
and find out, huh?
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00:00:54,676 --> 00:00:57,244
You can't get them things
wet, by the way,
22
00:00:57,312 --> 00:00:59,947
but don't worry,
this don't affect that.
23
00:01:02,150 --> 00:01:03,651
We interrupt this
program for some
24
00:01:03,719 --> 00:01:05,086
breaking news,
which is why
25
00:01:05,153 --> 00:01:06,721
I'm still
chewing a bagel.
26
00:01:06,788 --> 00:01:08,356
Mmm.
27
00:01:08,423 --> 00:01:09,890
Just-just roll
the footage.
28
00:01:09,958 --> 00:01:11,559
A major drug bust
in Quahog today
29
00:01:11,627 --> 00:01:14,979
as police seized
over 100 kilos of cocaine.
30
00:01:15,063 --> 00:01:16,280
Okay, I'm done.
31
00:01:16,365 --> 00:01:17,815
That's right, Joyce.
Apparently,
32
00:01:17,899 --> 00:01:20,234
there were 100 kilos of cocaine
right here in Quahog,
33
00:01:20,285 --> 00:01:22,570
and yet my guy can't get dick.
34
00:01:22,621 --> 00:01:24,205
Singled out
for special recognition
35
00:01:24,272 --> 00:01:25,906
in orchestrating
today's drug bust
36
00:01:25,974 --> 00:01:27,958
was Officer Joe Swanson.
37
00:01:28,026 --> 00:01:30,745
It feels good to know that,
thanks to me and my colleagues,
38
00:01:30,812 --> 00:01:32,813
a lot fewer people
will be injecting cocaine
39
00:01:32,881 --> 00:01:34,749
into their penises tonight.
40
00:01:34,816 --> 00:01:35,816
Is that a thing?
41
00:01:35,884 --> 00:01:36,951
It's a great thing.
42
00:01:39,171 --> 00:01:40,471
Great job, Joe!
Way to go!
43
00:01:40,555 --> 00:01:41,505
There he is!
44
00:01:41,590 --> 00:01:42,990
Hey, thanks, everybody.
45
00:01:43,058 --> 00:01:45,459
Hey, guys.
Hey, Joe, I saw you on TV.
46
00:01:45,527 --> 00:01:47,261
Now I have to go
through the five stages
47
00:01:47,329 --> 00:01:48,596
of having a celebrity friend.
48
00:01:48,664 --> 00:01:50,631
Oh, you're on TV!
That's so cool!
49
00:01:50,699 --> 00:01:52,166
We're going right
to the top together.
50
00:01:52,234 --> 00:01:53,968
Oh, you think
you're better than us, huh?
51
00:01:54,036 --> 00:01:55,236
Just one
stroke of luck,
52
00:01:55,303 --> 00:01:56,570
and you're there
and I'm here.
53
00:01:56,638 --> 00:01:58,739
I'm sorry I overreacted.
Look, you got to be careful.
54
00:01:58,807 --> 00:02:00,808
You need someone looking out
for you, who knows you.
55
00:02:00,876 --> 00:02:02,810
Someone you can trust.
Give me some money!
56
00:02:02,878 --> 00:02:05,179
Man, that was some pretty
impressive police work, Joe.
57
00:02:05,247 --> 00:02:06,847
Thanks, Quagmire.
I'll be honest,
58
00:02:06,915 --> 00:02:09,350
it was nice to be acknowledged
by the chief for once.
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00:02:09,418 --> 00:02:10,985
Usually, he's just
reminding me
60
00:02:11,053 --> 00:02:12,953
that whatever punk
I'm roughing up ain't worth it.
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00:02:13,004 --> 00:02:16,257
You son of a bitch!
I ought to kill you right here!
62
00:02:16,324 --> 00:02:18,793
Hey! This punk's
not worth it.
63
00:02:18,860 --> 00:02:20,127
You're right.
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00:02:22,664 --> 00:02:24,165
You're not worth it.
65
00:02:26,935 --> 00:02:29,987
So, listen, if you guys
aren't doing anything later,
66
00:02:30,055 --> 00:02:32,857
the chief's throwing me a little
party to celebrate my bust.
67
00:02:32,924 --> 00:02:35,226
I am going to let Quagmire
answer first.
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00:02:35,293 --> 00:02:36,660
Yeah, I'll go.
I shall go, too.
69
00:02:36,728 --> 00:02:39,480
Oh, great. I'll see
you guys tonight.
70
00:02:43,034 --> 00:02:44,335
Oh, God, buddy, I'm sorry.
71
00:02:44,403 --> 00:02:45,436
You okay?
72
00:03:05,373 --> 00:03:07,274
You bastard!
73
00:03:32,167 --> 00:03:34,718
Well, now I've seen
Woodrow Wilson naked.
74
00:08:07,909 --> 00:08:10,861
Hey, Bonnie, I made a
major drug bust today.
75
00:08:10,929 --> 00:08:12,563
The biggest one the
force has ever seen.
76
00:08:12,630 --> 00:08:14,164
That's great, Joe.
77
00:08:14,232 --> 00:08:15,866
You don't seem
very excited.
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00:08:15,934 --> 00:08:17,701
I mean, this is a
huge deal for me.
79
00:08:17,769 --> 00:08:20,003
The chief is even throwing
me a party tonight.
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00:08:20,071 --> 00:08:21,705
I don't know
if I can take another
81
00:08:21,773 --> 00:08:23,440
evening of
sympathetic eye contact
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00:08:23,508 --> 00:08:25,442
from all
the other wives.
83
00:08:26,978 --> 00:08:29,747
Well, just so you know,
this is a really big deal.
84
00:08:29,814 --> 00:08:33,183
They even asked me to be a guest
on Muy Importante!
85
00:08:37,005 --> 00:08:39,440
Muy Importante!
86
00:08:43,027 --> 00:08:45,662
Muy Importante!
87
00:08:49,367 --> 00:08:52,302
Muy Importante!
88
00:08:52,370 --> 00:08:55,873
Muy Importante!
89
00:08:55,940 --> 00:08:58,542
Muy Importante!
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00:08:58,610 --> 00:09:01,945
A donkey just bit
a child in the hallway.
91
00:09:06,684 --> 00:09:08,886
Wow, I've never been
to a cop bar before.
92
00:09:08,953 --> 00:09:10,154
Yeah, look at
the bartender.
93
00:09:10,221 --> 00:09:11,989
I bet working here,
she's one of those women
94
00:09:12,056 --> 00:09:14,124
who's tough as nails
and good at giving sass.
95
00:09:15,994 --> 00:09:17,528
What will it be, fellas?
96
00:09:17,595 --> 00:09:19,897
I'd like to cram both your boobs
into a martini glass.
97
00:09:23,101 --> 00:09:25,035
I-I think she's just
a normal woman.
98
00:09:25,103 --> 00:09:26,870
To Joe Swanson!
99
00:09:26,938 --> 00:09:28,138
And the biggest
drug bust
100
00:09:28,206 --> 00:09:29,473
in the history
of Quahog!
101
00:09:33,094 --> 00:09:35,913
Officer Swanson, I just wanted
to say congratulations.
102
00:09:35,980 --> 00:09:37,548
I'm Nora. I just joined the
force.
103
00:09:37,615 --> 00:09:38,899
Nice to meet you.
104
00:09:38,967 --> 00:09:40,901
Wow, I've heard
so much about you.
105
00:09:40,969 --> 00:09:42,803
You're like a legend
at the academy.
106
00:09:42,871 --> 00:09:44,505
Is it true you
got straight A's
107
00:09:44,572 --> 00:09:46,439
in Officer Henderson's
Overintensity Workshop?
108
00:09:46,491 --> 00:09:48,091
You're damn right I did!
109
00:09:48,159 --> 00:09:50,093
Well, you did some
great work today.
110
00:09:50,161 --> 00:09:51,795
And I mean
regular-person great,
111
00:09:51,863 --> 00:09:53,130
not just
wheelchair-person great.
112
00:09:53,198 --> 00:09:54,965
Yeah, I guess.
113
00:09:55,033 --> 00:09:57,467
You seem a little distracted.
Is everything okay?
114
00:09:57,535 --> 00:10:00,037
Yeah, sorry,
I was just thinking about...
115
00:10:00,104 --> 00:10:02,606
someone should have come
tonight, but they didn't.
116
00:10:02,674 --> 00:10:04,274
Ah, it's nothing.
117
00:10:04,342 --> 00:10:05,676
That's good.
118
00:10:05,743 --> 00:10:07,945
Hey, Officer Swanson?
Yeah?
119
00:10:08,012 --> 00:10:10,414
You know how they say
never meet your heroes?
120
00:10:10,481 --> 00:10:12,399
Well, they don't say anything
about kissing them.
121
00:10:13,685 --> 00:10:15,319
Whoa!
122
00:10:15,386 --> 00:10:17,154
Geez, every cop
in town is here.
123
00:10:17,222 --> 00:10:19,690
I know. Who do you think is
taking care of the city?
124
00:10:19,757 --> 00:10:21,308
No.
125
00:10:21,359 --> 00:10:22,709
No.
126
00:10:22,777 --> 00:10:24,211
No.
127
00:10:24,279 --> 00:10:25,645
No.
128
00:10:27,532 --> 00:10:28,899
What the hell?
Come on!
129
00:10:28,967 --> 00:10:30,734
No drive. Is wet.
130
00:10:37,482 --> 00:10:39,199
Hey-hey, fun party
last night, Joe.
131
00:10:39,267 --> 00:10:41,068
You guys, I got something
to tell you.
132
00:10:41,136 --> 00:10:43,804
The weirdest thing happened
to me at that party.
133
00:10:43,872 --> 00:10:45,906
I got kissed
by this chick cop.
134
00:10:45,974 --> 00:10:48,308
No way! What's she look like?
Is she hot?
135
00:10:48,376 --> 00:10:49,743
Well, I don't know. Uh...
136
00:10:49,811 --> 00:10:51,945
Is Elizabeth Perkins hot?
137
00:10:52,013 --> 00:10:55,549
I... I, uh...
I-I don't... I don't know.
138
00:10:55,617 --> 00:10:57,451
Way to go, Joe.
Did you bang her?
139
00:10:57,519 --> 00:10:59,586
What? Of course
not, Quagmire.
140
00:10:59,654 --> 00:11:00,921
I mean, I'm a
married man.
141
00:11:00,989 --> 00:11:02,523
I could never
cheat on Bonnie.
142
00:11:02,590 --> 00:11:03,557
Well, under normal
circumstances,
143
00:11:03,625 --> 00:11:04,791
you'd be right
to say that,
144
00:11:04,859 --> 00:11:05,926
but in this case,
145
00:11:05,994 --> 00:11:07,461
cheating would be
the only fair thing.
146
00:11:07,529 --> 00:11:08,929
What? What are you
talking about?
147
00:11:08,997 --> 00:11:11,331
Come on. Didn't Bonnie
have that affair in Paris?
148
00:11:11,399 --> 00:11:13,834
Oh, yeah. I don't want
to talk about that.
149
00:11:13,902 --> 00:11:15,702
Joe, how can I put this
delicately?
150
00:11:15,770 --> 00:11:19,173
He used his stinky French wiener
to defile her.
151
00:11:19,240 --> 00:11:22,209
Wow. That's a...
real hit above the belt.
152
00:11:22,277 --> 00:11:25,312
But I'm still not sure that's
a reason to betray Bonnie.
153
00:11:25,380 --> 00:11:27,748
Come on, Joe. Sleeping with
this girl wi even things up.
154
00:11:27,815 --> 00:11:30,200
You can't have that kind of
imbalance in your relationship.
155
00:11:30,268 --> 00:11:33,070
In fact, you owe it to Bonnie
to have sex with this woman.
156
00:11:33,137 --> 00:11:34,471
It's for the good
of your marriage.
157
00:11:34,572 --> 00:11:35,956
Yeah, you should
go for it, Joe.
158
00:11:36,024 --> 00:11:37,925
Secrets are what
keep a marriage fresh.
159
00:11:37,992 --> 00:11:39,660
I have a CB radio
in the basement.
160
00:11:39,727 --> 00:11:42,296
I go down there a couple times
a week to have CB sex.
161
00:11:42,363 --> 00:11:43,730
Lois has no idea.
162
00:11:43,798 --> 00:11:45,699
Breaker breaker one-nine.
What's your 20?
163
00:11:49,871 --> 00:11:53,040
Ah, it's so hot
just knowing you're in a truck.
164
00:11:56,077 --> 00:11:58,161
Good morning,
Officer Swanson.
165
00:11:58,229 --> 00:11:59,863
Oh, hey... Nora.
166
00:11:59,931 --> 00:12:01,598
Uh, listen, I...
It's okay, Joe.
167
00:12:01,666 --> 00:12:02,900
You don't need
to explain.
168
00:12:02,967 --> 00:12:04,902
I stepped over the line
at the bar last night.
169
00:12:04,969 --> 00:12:06,320
I'm... I'm sorry.
170
00:12:06,387 --> 00:12:07,988
It's not that I don't
find you attractive.
171
00:12:08,056 --> 00:12:09,923
I do. I just...
172
00:12:09,991 --> 00:12:11,458
I'm married and...
I get it.
173
00:12:11,526 --> 00:12:13,310
I totally
understand, Joe.
174
00:12:13,378 --> 00:12:15,412
Excuse me.
175
00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:16,513
Hello?
176
00:12:16,581 --> 00:12:17,414
Joe?
177
00:12:17,482 --> 00:12:18,448
Bonnie?
178
00:12:18,516 --> 00:12:19,416
Oh.
179
00:12:19,484 --> 00:12:20,851
I-I meant to call someone else.
180
00:12:20,919 --> 00:12:21,919
Oh.
181
00:12:21,986 --> 00:12:22,920
Yeah.
182
00:12:22,987 --> 00:12:24,421
So, how is everything?
183
00:12:29,694 --> 00:12:31,695
Didn't Bonnie
have that affair in Paris?
184
00:12:31,763 --> 00:12:34,531
He used his stinky
French wiener to defile her.
185
00:12:34,599 --> 00:12:36,767
Didn't Bonnie
have that affair in Paris?
186
00:12:36,834 --> 00:12:39,803
He used his stinky
French wiener to defile her.
187
00:12:39,871 --> 00:12:41,471
Hey, Quagmire,
we're in Joe's head.
188
00:12:41,539 --> 00:12:42,990
Hey, let's mess with him.
189
00:12:43,057 --> 00:12:44,691
I'm going to leave a fart
trapped in here.
190
00:12:47,345 --> 00:12:48,879
All right,
let's get out of here.
191
00:12:51,015 --> 00:12:51,949
I want you.
192
00:12:52,033 --> 00:12:53,066
I want you, too.
193
00:12:53,117 --> 00:12:54,217
Come on.
194
00:12:54,285 --> 00:12:56,420
I have a little
place we can go to.
195
00:12:56,487 --> 00:12:58,221
Wow. I've
never seen a sofa
196
00:12:58,289 --> 00:12:59,589
in a bathroom
stall before.
197
00:12:59,657 --> 00:13:01,625
Well, I'm the only
one who comes in here,
198
00:13:01,693 --> 00:13:03,260
so I figured I'd
make it my own.
199
00:13:03,328 --> 00:13:04,628
How are you enjoying
your steak?
200
00:13:04,696 --> 00:13:06,229
Mmm. It's delicious.
201
00:13:06,297 --> 00:13:08,198
Let me put another
log on the fire.
202
00:13:09,500 --> 00:13:10,634
Thanks, Joe.
203
00:13:10,702 --> 00:13:12,469
It was getting
a little chilly in here.
204
00:13:12,537 --> 00:13:14,137
That's 'cause you're
all the way over there.
205
00:13:14,205 --> 00:13:16,239
Well, let me
fix that.
206
00:13:17,608 --> 00:13:19,009
Oh, Joe.
207
00:13:19,077 --> 00:13:20,243
Oh, Nora.
208
00:13:20,311 --> 00:13:21,445
Did you bring
protection?
209
00:13:21,512 --> 00:13:22,679
Oh, don't worry.
210
00:13:22,747 --> 00:13:24,081
Nothing comes out
of the front.
211
00:13:28,252 --> 00:13:30,020
What a great day
for Joe and Bonnie.
212
00:13:30,088 --> 00:13:31,588
This is Kevin's
first birthday
213
00:13:31,656 --> 00:13:33,323
since he came home
from Iraq.
214
00:13:33,391 --> 00:13:35,125
Why does Kevin always sit
at the bus stop,
215
00:13:35,193 --> 00:13:36,660
but never gets on a bus?
216
00:13:36,728 --> 00:13:37,995
Please don't
bring that up.
217
00:13:38,062 --> 00:13:39,863
Don't bring
anything he does up.
218
00:13:39,931 --> 00:13:41,631
Hey, you guys.
219
00:13:41,716 --> 00:13:42,966
You're right on time.
220
00:13:43,034 --> 00:13:45,785
Kevin just woke up screaming
from his afternoon nap.
221
00:13:45,837 --> 00:13:47,170
Mom, it's my
birthday,
222
00:13:47,238 --> 00:13:48,505
and you invited
your friends.
223
00:13:48,573 --> 00:13:50,374
All yours are dead!
224
00:13:50,441 --> 00:13:51,775
Hey, guys.
225
00:13:51,843 --> 00:13:53,643
Uh, can I talk to
you for a second?
226
00:13:53,711 --> 00:13:55,012
I did something
terrible.
227
00:13:55,079 --> 00:13:57,014
Ah, hey, we've all
done terrible things.
228
00:13:58,316 --> 00:13:59,516
Attention, everyone.
229
00:13:59,584 --> 00:14:01,301
The plane is sinking,
so I need you all
230
00:14:01,369 --> 00:14:03,203
to proceed onto the
floating slide.
231
00:14:04,972 --> 00:14:06,423
Dear airplane people,
232
00:14:06,491 --> 00:14:08,892
I owe you one floating slide.
233
00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:11,161
And just so you know,
the guy stewardess
234
00:14:11,229 --> 00:14:13,063
was angry gay, not happy gay.
235
00:14:13,131 --> 00:14:14,531
What does it say?
Nothing.
236
00:14:14,599 --> 00:14:16,566
Just instructions
and stuff.
237
00:14:16,634 --> 00:14:18,151
Oh, my God. You actually
went through with it?
238
00:14:18,219 --> 00:14:19,119
How was it?
239
00:14:19,187 --> 00:14:20,354
I don't know, you guys.
240
00:14:20,421 --> 00:14:21,722
I thought I would feel better
241
00:14:21,789 --> 00:14:23,423
after I slept with Nora,
but I don't.
242
00:14:23,491 --> 00:14:25,158
I just feel really guilty.
243
00:14:25,226 --> 00:14:27,194
And I'm not mad
at Bonnie anymore;
244
00:14:27,261 --> 00:14:29,029
I'm just mad at myself.
245
00:14:29,097 --> 00:14:31,131
Guys, am I the only one
who thinks it's weird
246
00:14:31,199 --> 00:14:32,332
talking about Joe
cheating on Bonnie
247
00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:33,817
in front of their baby?
248
00:14:33,885 --> 00:14:35,452
I think we can all benefit
249
00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:37,154
from a little strange
now and then.
250
00:14:37,221 --> 00:14:38,388
I know I will.
251
00:14:39,607 --> 00:14:41,141
Uh-oh.
252
00:14:41,209 --> 00:14:42,909
The baby monitor.
Wha...?
253
00:14:42,977 --> 00:14:44,344
The baby monitor.
254
00:14:44,412 --> 00:14:45,846
You cheated on me?
255
00:14:45,913 --> 00:14:47,280
I-I, uh...
256
00:14:47,348 --> 00:14:49,349
You bastard!
257
00:14:49,417 --> 00:14:50,984
Bonnie, please.
258
00:14:51,052 --> 00:14:52,652
After all
I do for you,
259
00:14:52,703 --> 00:14:54,838
this is how
you repay me?
260
00:14:54,906 --> 00:14:57,074
Well, how do you think
I felt when I found out
261
00:14:57,141 --> 00:14:58,492
you slept with that
French guy, huh?
262
00:14:58,559 --> 00:15:00,327
I never slept
with Francois.
263
00:15:00,395 --> 00:15:02,496
What? But Peter said...
264
00:15:02,563 --> 00:15:04,347
Lois, didn't you say
that Bonnie slept with him?
265
00:15:04,415 --> 00:15:05,782
No, Peter. I said
she wanted to.
266
00:15:05,850 --> 00:15:07,317
Damn it, Peter!
267
00:15:07,385 --> 00:15:08,602
Now, hold on.
268
00:15:08,669 --> 00:15:10,504
In my defense,
it is my experience
269
00:15:10,571 --> 00:15:13,073
that I am generally correct
about most things.
270
00:15:13,141 --> 00:15:14,708
You know what,
it doesn't matter.
271
00:15:14,776 --> 00:15:17,344
Bonnie's been driving me away
for some time now.
272
00:15:17,412 --> 00:15:19,346
What? Driving you away?
273
00:15:19,414 --> 00:15:23,150
Do you have any idea
how hard it is living with you?
274
00:15:23,217 --> 00:15:25,285
They still have
one of those TVs
275
00:15:25,353 --> 00:15:27,320
with the big, fat back.
276
00:15:27,388 --> 00:15:28,688
Maybe we should
all leave.
277
00:15:28,756 --> 00:15:29,589
No!
No!
278
00:15:29,657 --> 00:15:30,774
Everyone stays.
279
00:15:30,842 --> 00:15:32,342
I want this to
be a disaster.
280
00:15:32,410 --> 00:15:34,344
'Cause this has been
a long time coming.
281
00:15:34,412 --> 00:15:36,563
You care about nothing
except yourself.
282
00:15:36,614 --> 00:15:37,948
You son of a bitch.
283
00:15:38,015 --> 00:15:41,201
I got a license to operate
a sex crane for you.
284
00:15:41,269 --> 00:15:43,420
And I got earplugs so I
could put up with that
285
00:15:43,488 --> 00:15:45,188
horrible voice of yours.
286
00:15:45,256 --> 00:15:47,724
I'm not an impressionist,
but you get the idea.
287
00:15:47,792 --> 00:15:52,095
I perform purification rituals
on my body after we have sex.
288
00:15:52,163 --> 00:15:54,831
I find it cleanses
the immeasurable sadness
289
00:15:54,899 --> 00:15:56,766
of having lain with a wretch.
290
00:15:56,834 --> 00:15:58,001
I want a divorce!
291
00:15:58,069 --> 00:15:59,469
You got it!
292
00:15:59,537 --> 00:16:01,505
Sorry. I opened
some of the gifts.
293
00:16:08,814 --> 00:16:11,081
Does the Swanson divorce
mean that I
294
00:16:11,149 --> 00:16:12,783
have to go live
with Grandma and Grandpa?
295
00:16:12,851 --> 00:16:14,552
No, Chris, it does not.
296
00:16:14,619 --> 00:16:16,120
That doesn't even
make any sense.
297
00:16:16,188 --> 00:16:17,521
Peter, I can't believe
298
00:16:17,589 --> 00:16:19,507
you would encourage Joe
to have an affair.
299
00:16:19,574 --> 00:16:20,958
Look, Lois, it's
in the Bible.
300
00:16:21,026 --> 00:16:22,393
What's in the Bible?
301
00:16:22,461 --> 00:16:23,761
I-I don't know.
302
00:16:23,829 --> 00:16:25,563
Doesn't that always
cover it somehow?
303
00:16:25,630 --> 00:16:27,298
Peter, you blew up
their marriage.
304
00:16:27,365 --> 00:16:29,200
This was
a huge mistake.
305
00:16:29,267 --> 00:16:30,734
Well, we've all made mistakes.
306
00:16:33,588 --> 00:16:35,239
Eh.
307
00:16:38,844 --> 00:16:41,095
Why did the sign say
"not an exit"?
308
00:16:41,163 --> 00:16:43,264
It should have just said
"gorilla door."
309
00:16:47,919 --> 00:16:49,970
So, it's really
over, huh?
310
00:16:50,038 --> 00:16:51,605
After all
these years?
311
00:16:51,673 --> 00:16:52,873
I'm afraid so.
312
00:16:52,941 --> 00:16:54,308
But let's be
honest, Peter.
313
00:16:54,376 --> 00:16:56,477
Bonnie and I seem
to have grown apart.
314
00:16:56,545 --> 00:16:57,811
Boy, I never would have seen
315
00:16:57,879 --> 00:16:59,663
this day coming
when we first met.
316
00:16:59,731 --> 00:17:02,733
"Africa" by Toto was playing.
317
00:17:02,784 --> 00:17:05,286
♪ ♪
318
00:17:07,322 --> 00:17:10,658
♪ I hear the drums
echoing tonight ♪
319
00:17:10,742 --> 00:17:12,993
♪ But she hears only whispers ♪
320
00:17:13,078 --> 00:17:16,981
♪ Of some quiet conversation ♪
321
00:17:19,634 --> 00:17:22,970
♪ I stopped an old man
along the way ♪
322
00:17:23,054 --> 00:17:26,123
♪ Hoping to find
some long forgotten words ♪
323
00:17:26,174 --> 00:17:29,793
♪ Or ancient melodies ♪
324
00:17:29,844 --> 00:17:33,764
♪ He turned to me as if to say ♪
325
00:17:33,815 --> 00:17:38,352
♪ "Hurry, boy,
it's waiting there for you" ♪
326
00:17:41,189 --> 00:17:46,193
♪ It's gonna take a lot
to drag me away from you ♪
327
00:17:46,278 --> 00:17:51,582
♪ There's nothing that a hundred
men or more could ever do ♪
328
00:17:51,649 --> 00:17:56,921
♪ I bless the rains
down in Africa ♪
329
00:17:56,988 --> 00:18:02,676
♪ Gonna take some time
to do the things we never had ♪
330
00:18:02,761 --> 00:18:04,845
♪ Ooh, ooh... ♪
331
00:18:13,888 --> 00:18:15,239
Lois, I know
how to get
332
00:18:15,307 --> 00:18:16,774
Joe and Bonnie
back together.
333
00:18:16,841 --> 00:18:18,676
Joe just told me
how he and Bonnie met.
334
00:18:18,743 --> 00:18:21,095
So I figure, all we got to do
is find a way
335
00:18:21,162 --> 00:18:22,730
to recreate the magic
of that night.
336
00:18:22,814 --> 00:18:24,014
Well, we better
do something soon,
337
00:18:24,082 --> 00:18:25,282
'cause I just
talked to Bonnie
338
00:18:25,350 --> 00:18:26,800
and she's already
on D-Date.
339
00:18:26,868 --> 00:18:28,369
What the hell's D-Date?
340
00:18:28,436 --> 00:18:29,870
Diarrhea Date.
It's filthy.
341
00:18:29,955 --> 00:18:31,388
But she found someone,
342
00:18:31,456 --> 00:18:33,290
and they're doing whatever
they do tomorrow.
343
00:18:33,358 --> 00:18:35,626
What the hell's
wrong with people?
344
00:18:37,362 --> 00:18:39,096
Thanks for inviting
me to lunch, Lois,
345
00:18:39,164 --> 00:18:41,131
but why are we eating
at a strip club?
346
00:18:41,199 --> 00:18:43,434
I know the waitress here
from water aerobics.
347
00:18:43,501 --> 00:18:45,369
She said she'd
give us 20% off.
348
00:18:46,838 --> 00:18:48,705
All units, all units.
349
00:18:48,757 --> 00:18:50,507
We have a disturbance
at the Fuzzy Clam.
350
00:18:50,558 --> 00:18:51,675
This is Officer Swanson.
351
00:18:51,726 --> 00:18:53,060
What's the problem?
352
00:18:53,144 --> 00:18:55,312
Well, one of the dancers
was dancing with a guy
353
00:18:55,380 --> 00:18:57,431
and saying, "You're my favorite,
you're my favorite,"
354
00:18:57,515 --> 00:18:59,183
but now she's dancing
with another guy.
355
00:18:59,234 --> 00:19:00,567
That's not a crime.
356
00:19:00,652 --> 00:19:02,069
Well, shouldn't it be?
357
00:19:02,153 --> 00:19:03,553
I'll be right there.
358
00:19:07,659 --> 00:19:09,927
("Africa" by Toto playing)
359
00:19:09,995 --> 00:19:13,113
Boy, I haven't heard this
song in a long time.
360
00:19:13,198 --> 00:19:15,082
Police! What's going on?
361
00:19:15,166 --> 00:19:16,934
Bonnie?
362
00:19:17,002 --> 00:19:18,235
Joe?
363
00:19:18,286 --> 00:19:19,420
What are you
doing here?
364
00:19:19,504 --> 00:19:20,587
I'm here with Lois.
365
00:19:20,672 --> 00:19:22,006
What are you doing here?
366
00:19:22,073 --> 00:19:23,874
I got a call.
367
00:19:23,925 --> 00:19:26,593
Is that... is that
"Africa" by Toto?
368
00:19:26,678 --> 00:19:28,078
Yeah.
369
00:19:28,129 --> 00:19:29,596
That's our song.
370
00:19:29,664 --> 00:19:31,215
It is.
371
00:19:31,266 --> 00:19:35,636
♪ But she hears only whispers
of some quiet... ♪
372
00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:38,055
Well, it seems like
things are fine here.
373
00:19:38,106 --> 00:19:40,107
Listen, Bonnie,
I, uh...
374
00:19:40,191 --> 00:19:42,192
I just want to
say I'm sorry.
375
00:19:42,260 --> 00:19:44,928
I was a real ass,
and I miss you.
376
00:19:44,979 --> 00:19:46,730
I'm sorry, too.
377
00:19:46,781 --> 00:19:49,900
I know I haven't been
that easy to live with lately.
378
00:19:49,951 --> 00:19:52,569
Okay.
379
00:19:52,620 --> 00:19:55,622
Well, I'm going
to go now.
380
00:19:55,707 --> 00:19:58,625
Joe, wait.
381
00:19:58,710 --> 00:20:01,495
You want a lap dance, mister?
382
00:20:03,631 --> 00:20:05,782
No. Sit down.
383
00:20:05,834 --> 00:20:08,052
I'm giving you one.
384
00:20:08,119 --> 00:20:11,788
♪ The wild dogs
cry out in the night ♪
385
00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:13,640
♪ As they grow restless ♪
386
00:20:13,725 --> 00:20:18,228
♪ Longing for
some solitary company ♪
387
00:20:20,065 --> 00:20:21,181
Oh, Joe.
388
00:20:21,266 --> 00:20:22,850
Oh, Bonnie.
389
00:20:22,934 --> 00:20:25,652
♪ He turned to me
as if to say... ♪
390
00:20:25,737 --> 00:20:27,521
Can you ever
forgive me?
391
00:20:27,605 --> 00:20:29,306
It's going to take
some time, Joe.
392
00:20:29,357 --> 00:20:31,442
Rest of your life okay?
393
00:20:33,161 --> 00:20:38,198
♪ It's gonna take a lot
to drag me away from you ♪
394
00:20:38,283 --> 00:20:43,337
♪ There's nothing that a hundred
men or more could ever do ♪
395
00:20:43,421 --> 00:20:46,840
♪ I bless the rains
down in Africa... ♪
396
00:20:46,925 --> 00:20:50,925
== sync, corrected by elderman ==