1 00:00:00,783 --> 00:00:04,263 ♪ It seems today that all you see ♪ 2 00:00:04,299 --> 00:00:07,567 ♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪ 3 00:00:07,602 --> 00:00:11,137 ♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values ♪ 4 00:00:11,172 --> 00:00:14,140 ♪ On which we used to rely? ♪ 5 00:00:14,175 --> 00:00:17,643 ♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪ 6 00:00:17,679 --> 00:00:20,947 ♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪ 7 00:00:20,982 --> 00:00:22,515 ♪ All the things that make us ♪ 8 00:00:22,550 --> 00:00:24,283 ♪ Laugh and cry ♪ 9 00:00:24,319 --> 00:00:29,455 ♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪ 10 00:00:29,679 --> 00:00:32,679 - Synced and corrected by AlexandreMT - - www.addic7ed.com - 11 00:00:36,364 --> 00:00:37,496 What the hell? 12 00:00:37,532 --> 00:00:40,533 Oh, hey, Brian. I was sick of waiting my turn 13 00:00:40,568 --> 00:00:42,034 outside the supermarket, 14 00:00:42,070 --> 00:00:44,637 so I bought every coin-operated horse in town. 15 00:00:44,672 --> 00:00:46,239 I assume you're on the unicorn? 16 00:00:46,274 --> 00:00:47,940 You know me well, sir. 17 00:00:47,976 --> 00:00:49,342 Must be a dozen horses here. 18 00:00:49,377 --> 00:00:50,776 How do you possibly have the money 19 00:00:50,812 --> 00:00:52,011 for this type of stuff? 20 00:00:52,046 --> 00:00:54,247 Well, I'll tell you, but only on one condition. 21 00:00:54,282 --> 00:00:56,482 - Fine. Never mind then. - Investing! 22 00:00:56,517 --> 00:00:57,883 I invest in the stock market. 23 00:00:57,919 --> 00:00:59,418 The stock market? Ugh. 24 00:00:59,454 --> 00:01:01,420 What do you even know about that stuff? 25 00:01:01,456 --> 00:01:04,323 It's easy... I just follow trends and invest accordingly. 26 00:01:04,359 --> 00:01:06,525 For instance, there are more single people 27 00:01:06,561 --> 00:01:07,960 over 50 than ever. 28 00:01:07,996 --> 00:01:10,796 So I'm investing in handguns and blackout window shades. 29 00:01:10,832 --> 00:01:12,898 They don't want to be part of society, Brian. 30 00:01:12,934 --> 00:01:14,500 They've made that very clear. 31 00:01:14,535 --> 00:01:15,635 I don't know, Stewie, if you ask me, 32 00:01:15,670 --> 00:01:17,370 the stock market's just a rigged game 33 00:01:17,405 --> 00:01:19,705 where the top one-percent make out like bandits, 34 00:01:19,741 --> 00:01:21,140 and regular people get hurt. 35 00:01:21,175 --> 00:01:23,042 Are you reading off a teleprompter right now? 36 00:01:23,077 --> 00:01:25,511 No. 37 00:01:25,546 --> 00:01:27,079 The prompter's down. What do we do? 38 00:01:27,115 --> 00:01:28,447 Brian, vamp! 39 00:01:28,483 --> 00:01:31,651 So, great to be in Quahog, Rhode Island today. 40 00:01:31,686 --> 00:01:33,919 That's why he's the best. 41 00:01:38,126 --> 00:01:40,793 Our top story, an austere monetary policy 42 00:01:40,828 --> 00:01:43,129 has the European Union on the brink of collapse, 43 00:01:43,164 --> 00:01:45,064 threatening the entire global economy. 44 00:01:45,099 --> 00:01:48,167 And for viewers making less than $40,000 a year, 45 00:01:48,202 --> 00:01:51,637 your top story is a big UFC fight this Saturday. 46 00:01:51,673 --> 00:01:53,439 Wow, I can't wait to see that fight! 47 00:01:53,474 --> 00:01:55,341 Me and the guys are gonna watch it at the Clam. 48 00:01:55,376 --> 00:01:57,610 Peter, we have dinner with my parents that night. 49 00:01:57,645 --> 00:02:00,346 It's my mom's birthday. You have to be there. 50 00:02:00,381 --> 00:02:02,181 Lois, if you let me out of this, 51 00:02:02,216 --> 00:02:04,583 I will go to Meg's ballet recital in your place. 52 00:02:04,619 --> 00:02:05,885 Deal. 53 00:02:11,392 --> 00:02:13,959 I did not go to the recital. 54 00:02:17,031 --> 00:02:19,231 Whew, what a day. 55 00:02:19,267 --> 00:02:21,901 I asked Ms. Watson if she has any kids of her own. 56 00:02:21,936 --> 00:02:24,770 Immediately put me in a time-out. 57 00:02:24,806 --> 00:02:26,706 What the hell?! 58 00:02:26,741 --> 00:02:28,574 Ay, díos mio! 59 00:02:28,609 --> 00:02:30,142 Oh, great. Course it's one of them. 60 00:02:30,178 --> 00:02:31,977 - What?! - Stewie, adults are allowed 61 00:02:32,013 --> 00:02:34,313 to say racist things because of traffic. 62 00:02:34,349 --> 00:02:37,216 Oh, my poor '98 Toyota Corolla. 63 00:02:37,251 --> 00:02:40,119 We all have '98 Toyota Corolla. 64 00:02:40,154 --> 00:02:42,722 - Qué? - I allowed to say racist things 65 00:02:42,757 --> 00:02:44,790 because of traffic. 66 00:02:44,826 --> 00:02:46,659 Well, don't get so angry. Just tell your insurance 67 00:02:46,694 --> 00:02:48,027 what happened and then they'll... 68 00:02:48,062 --> 00:02:50,096 Oh, you're driving away because you don't have insurance. 69 00:02:50,131 --> 00:02:53,733 This sucks. Fixing the bumper is gonna cost at least a grand. 70 00:02:53,768 --> 00:02:55,134 Tell you what, give me a hundred bucks 71 00:02:55,169 --> 00:02:57,370 to put in the stock market, and I'll take care of it. 72 00:02:57,405 --> 00:02:58,405 The market? 73 00:02:58,439 --> 00:02:59,839 Brian, you won't lose your money. 74 00:02:59,874 --> 00:03:00,940 I promise. 75 00:03:00,975 --> 00:03:02,641 All right, fine. 76 00:03:02,677 --> 00:03:05,444 Guess I'm not the first person to cave into family pressure. 77 00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:07,246 Like Stephen Baldwin. 78 00:03:07,281 --> 00:03:09,582 Why aren't you a bloated alcoholic yet? 79 00:03:09,617 --> 00:03:11,984 I'm sorry, Ma! 80 00:03:18,760 --> 00:03:20,393 What the hell? 81 00:03:20,428 --> 00:03:23,396 Jerome, what are you doing? The fight's tonight! 82 00:03:23,431 --> 00:03:25,598 Sorry, fellas, I just got a call. 83 00:03:25,633 --> 00:03:27,066 My mom had a stroke. 84 00:03:27,101 --> 00:03:29,135 I've got to go back to Long Island to see her. 85 00:03:29,170 --> 00:03:30,536 Hey, a Mets fan, huh? 86 00:03:30,571 --> 00:03:32,171 No, no, Joe, now is not the time 87 00:03:32,206 --> 00:03:34,140 to use your new conversation techniques. 88 00:03:34,175 --> 00:03:36,876 I love her so much. Look at her. 89 00:03:36,911 --> 00:03:39,345 So beautiful. 90 00:03:39,380 --> 00:03:41,013 And there's no one to take care of her, 91 00:03:41,048 --> 00:03:43,549 so, unfortunately, I'll be gone for a while. 92 00:03:43,584 --> 00:03:45,651 I got to close this place for a month. 93 00:03:45,686 --> 00:03:47,787 - A month?! - I wish it was February. 94 00:03:47,822 --> 00:03:50,289 'Cause, you know, that's the shortest month. 95 00:03:50,324 --> 00:03:52,291 Nice one, Joe. You're on the board. 96 00:03:52,326 --> 00:03:54,460 Look, I don't want to close the place either. 97 00:03:54,495 --> 00:03:56,162 But I don't have anyone to run it. 98 00:03:56,197 --> 00:03:58,597 Really? Well, uh, you know, 99 00:03:58,633 --> 00:04:00,232 we know this place better than anyone. 100 00:04:00,268 --> 00:04:01,867 - What if we run it for you? - Yeah! 101 00:04:01,903 --> 00:04:03,969 - That's a great idea! - B-story! 102 00:04:04,005 --> 00:04:07,106 Wow, you fellas would really watch this place for me? 103 00:04:07,141 --> 00:04:09,408 Are you kidding? Running a bar is my dream! 104 00:04:09,444 --> 00:04:11,744 Well, that and waking up a rooster. 105 00:04:17,218 --> 00:04:18,984 Dah! 106 00:04:19,020 --> 00:04:20,886 Enjoy the rest of your Saturday. 107 00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:27,193 Hey, Brian, I need to talk to you 108 00:04:27,228 --> 00:04:28,961 about that money I invested for you. 109 00:04:28,996 --> 00:04:30,930 I knew it. You lost it all, didn't you? 110 00:04:30,965 --> 00:04:32,364 God, I never should have given you my money. 111 00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:35,301 The stock market is a sucker's bet, like chasing your tail. 112 00:04:35,336 --> 00:04:38,003 God, it's right there, and yet a million miles away. 113 00:04:38,039 --> 00:04:39,505 What are the physics of that?! 114 00:04:39,540 --> 00:04:42,274 I didn't lose your money, Brian. Quite the contrary. 115 00:04:42,310 --> 00:04:44,310 Here's a thousand to fix your car. 116 00:04:44,345 --> 00:04:45,845 And here's a thousand profit. 117 00:04:45,880 --> 00:04:47,346 Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on. 118 00:04:47,381 --> 00:04:49,849 You made $2,000 in a couple days? 119 00:04:49,884 --> 00:04:51,550 - Yep. - Oh, my God. 120 00:04:51,586 --> 00:04:53,452 You got to teach me how to invest. 121 00:04:53,488 --> 00:04:56,021 Okay, but I can see this is going to be a lot of work. 122 00:04:56,057 --> 00:04:59,625 So in return, you must teach me Gymkata: 123 00:04:59,660 --> 00:05:02,461 the fusion of gymnastics and karate. 124 00:05:02,497 --> 00:05:05,931 No, Stewie, I won't do that. It's too dangerous. 125 00:05:05,967 --> 00:05:08,434 I swore I'd never teach Gymkata again. 126 00:05:08,469 --> 00:05:10,970 Brian, there's a 22-year-old Mongolian heiress 127 00:05:11,005 --> 00:05:12,805 who's being held captive in a mountain fortress 128 00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:14,673 that happens to have a pommel horse in it. 129 00:05:14,709 --> 00:05:16,342 There's no other way. 130 00:05:42,403 --> 00:05:44,870 Okay, I'm back. Ready to invest? 131 00:05:44,905 --> 00:05:46,438 Why are you still wearing that unitard? 132 00:05:46,473 --> 00:05:48,607 Can't get it off 'cause my hog's too big. 133 00:05:48,642 --> 00:05:50,175 Well, here, let me help you get it off. 134 00:05:50,211 --> 00:05:53,412 No, no, no, no, no, no. I pooped. I pooped. 135 00:06:08,216 --> 00:06:09,449 What's going on with Nikkei? 136 00:06:14,956 --> 00:06:16,322 - What are you up to? - Are you kidding? 137 00:06:16,358 --> 00:06:17,624 I've been looking at stocks all morning. 138 00:06:17,659 --> 00:06:19,359 I'm already up five percent on the day. 139 00:06:19,394 --> 00:06:21,961 Wow, good for you. You're really taking to this. 140 00:06:21,997 --> 00:06:23,830 I wish I'd brought you in on this earlier. 141 00:06:23,865 --> 00:06:25,965 Together, we're going to make a fortune. 142 00:06:26,001 --> 00:06:27,700 Well, now, hold on, Stewie. I'm not some run-of-the-mill 143 00:06:27,736 --> 00:06:30,170 Wall Street scumbag only in this for the profits. 144 00:06:30,205 --> 00:06:32,672 For every dollar I make, one goes to me, 145 00:06:32,707 --> 00:06:34,407 and one goes to charity. 146 00:06:34,442 --> 00:06:36,342 I'm gonna rent a Ferrari and cruise the pier. 147 00:06:36,378 --> 00:06:37,811 You want in? 148 00:06:37,846 --> 00:06:40,680 Well, cancer's not going anywhere. 149 00:06:40,715 --> 00:06:42,782 I'm sorry, Billy, you're one dollar short 150 00:06:42,818 --> 00:06:44,884 of being able to afford the surgery you need. 151 00:06:44,920 --> 00:06:46,853 - Yeah! - Money! 152 00:06:46,888 --> 00:06:49,189 Sweet. I know those guys. 153 00:06:55,096 --> 00:06:58,031 Wow, look at us, running the Clam. 154 00:06:58,066 --> 00:07:00,733 Joe, why are you dressed like that? 155 00:07:00,769 --> 00:07:02,068 'Cause I'm a mixologist. 156 00:07:02,103 --> 00:07:04,037 Oh, cool. What can you make? 157 00:07:04,072 --> 00:07:05,672 You name it, I can make it. 158 00:07:05,707 --> 00:07:07,240 Could I get an old-fashioned? 159 00:07:07,275 --> 00:07:09,843 Classic. Rum and Coke, coming right up. 160 00:07:09,878 --> 00:07:11,444 And could I get a Moscow mule? 161 00:07:11,479 --> 00:07:14,414 Rum and Coke for my comrade. 162 00:07:14,449 --> 00:07:17,183 - I'll have a whiskey... - Rum... 163 00:07:17,219 --> 00:07:19,452 - sour. - Coke. Coming right up. 164 00:07:19,487 --> 00:07:22,822 - Could I get a rum and Coke? - Uh, Pepsi okay? 165 00:07:27,262 --> 00:07:28,962 Brian, I've got great news. 166 00:07:28,997 --> 00:07:30,330 We're going for a ride in the car?! 167 00:07:30,365 --> 00:07:32,699 No, our portfolio's up 30%. 168 00:07:32,734 --> 00:07:35,435 In fact, we're so successful now, we have to make 169 00:07:35,470 --> 00:07:37,737 one of those sappy investment commercials. 170 00:07:37,772 --> 00:07:41,140 Thanks to my investments, I've watched my money grow. 171 00:07:41,176 --> 00:07:42,909 And my little girl. 172 00:07:42,944 --> 00:07:44,344 Dad? 173 00:07:44,379 --> 00:07:47,113 Thanks for making my big day possible. 174 00:07:47,148 --> 00:07:49,883 Don't thank me. Thank Fidelity. 175 00:07:49,918 --> 00:07:51,517 Okay, I'm ready to marry you now. 176 00:07:51,553 --> 00:07:53,353 Wait, what? No, I'm your dad. 177 00:07:53,388 --> 00:07:55,521 Yes, you are. This is what's happening. 178 00:07:55,557 --> 00:07:57,156 Fidelity: We're there for you 179 00:07:57,192 --> 00:07:59,592 when your baby marries his dog-dad. 180 00:08:02,631 --> 00:08:04,664 Stewie, why'd you bring me all the way out here? 181 00:08:04,699 --> 00:08:06,466 Now that we're eccentric rich guys, 182 00:08:06,501 --> 00:08:09,702 we're going to go down 20,000 feet and pants James Cameron 183 00:08:09,738 --> 00:08:11,771 while he's excavating the Titanic. 184 00:08:16,511 --> 00:08:17,810 There he is. 185 00:08:17,846 --> 00:08:19,279 This is gonna be so great. 186 00:08:50,445 --> 00:08:52,312 Wow, business has really picked up. 187 00:08:52,347 --> 00:08:55,949 I think it's because of the trivia night Quagmire started. 188 00:08:55,984 --> 00:08:57,216 Here we go, next question. 189 00:08:57,252 --> 00:08:58,785 And remember, no phones, people. 190 00:08:58,820 --> 00:09:00,687 Playing an honest game, no phones. 191 00:09:00,722 --> 00:09:02,121 Okay, "In what country..." 192 00:09:02,157 --> 00:09:04,157 No phones, I'm seeing phones. 193 00:09:04,192 --> 00:09:06,059 "In what country..." No phones. 194 00:09:06,094 --> 00:09:07,961 I've been pretty cool about this so far, 195 00:09:07,996 --> 00:09:09,329 it's a gentlemen's game. 196 00:09:09,364 --> 00:09:11,898 "In what country can you find the monuments called..." 197 00:09:11,933 --> 00:09:13,399 I see phones. I see... all right, 198 00:09:13,435 --> 00:09:14,867 you know what, that's it, trivia night over! 199 00:09:14,903 --> 00:09:16,836 Three cotton-picking weeks, 200 00:09:16,871 --> 00:09:18,471 and no one's gotten a single answer wrong. 201 00:09:18,506 --> 00:09:19,672 Everyone's like, "Hey, settle down", 202 00:09:19,708 --> 00:09:20,807 we're not using our phones." 203 00:09:20,842 --> 00:09:23,042 I see you using your damn phones! 204 00:09:23,078 --> 00:09:25,044 Just... just give me my shift drink! 205 00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:26,980 Technically, you got to finish the game 206 00:09:27,015 --> 00:09:29,549 before you get your drink. 207 00:09:36,992 --> 00:09:38,992 "In which country..." 208 00:09:39,027 --> 00:09:41,094 And you know, I think some people may be here 209 00:09:41,129 --> 00:09:42,595 because of me. 210 00:09:42,630 --> 00:09:45,431 I spread the word about my sweet playlist. 211 00:09:45,467 --> 00:09:48,901 This is just a bunch of covers of "Life Is A Highway." 212 00:09:48,937 --> 00:09:50,603 Yeah. 213 00:09:50,638 --> 00:09:52,038 Joe... 214 00:09:52,073 --> 00:09:54,173 you did a really great job. 215 00:09:54,209 --> 00:09:55,375 Thanks. 216 00:09:57,012 --> 00:09:58,878 ♪ Life is a highway ♪ 217 00:09:58,913 --> 00:10:00,480 ♪ I want to... ♪ 218 00:10:00,515 --> 00:10:02,882 (BLEEP), we went to the wrong place. 219 00:10:02,917 --> 00:10:04,684 Hey, guys, I had a great idea. 220 00:10:04,719 --> 00:10:06,586 You know how people love mechanical bulls? 221 00:10:06,621 --> 00:10:09,655 Well, I got something even better! 222 00:10:11,326 --> 00:10:12,458 A real bull? 223 00:10:12,494 --> 00:10:14,627 If that thing gets mad, it'll destroy the bar! 224 00:10:14,662 --> 00:10:16,062 Yeah, right. How can it get mad 225 00:10:16,097 --> 00:10:18,598 when I cinched its balls with my belt? 226 00:10:18,633 --> 00:10:21,401 See, it loves it here. It's even picking out a song. 227 00:10:21,436 --> 00:10:24,704 ♪ Life is a highway... ♪ 228 00:10:24,739 --> 00:10:27,940 Excellent choice. You know, not to tell tales out of school, 229 00:10:27,976 --> 00:10:31,277 but I sucked my first jug to this song. 230 00:10:31,312 --> 00:10:33,513 ♪ If you are going my way ♪ 231 00:10:33,548 --> 00:10:36,049 ♪ I want to drive it ♪ 232 00:10:36,084 --> 00:10:37,617 ♪ All night long ♪ 233 00:10:39,687 --> 00:10:42,989 ♪ Life is a highway ♪ 234 00:10:43,024 --> 00:10:45,324 ♪ I want to ride it ♪ 235 00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:47,527 ♪ All night long ♪ 236 00:10:47,562 --> 00:10:50,063 ♪ Gimme, gimme, gimme, yeah ♪ 237 00:10:50,098 --> 00:10:52,799 ♪ If you are going my way ♪ 238 00:10:52,834 --> 00:10:54,600 ♪ I want to drive it ♪ 239 00:10:54,636 --> 00:10:58,604 ♪ All night long... ♪ 240 00:11:00,141 --> 00:11:02,108 Edgar, do you know anything about this? 241 00:11:02,143 --> 00:11:03,509 What? N-No. 242 00:11:03,545 --> 00:11:04,644 Edgar? 243 00:11:04,679 --> 00:11:07,980 I was at Stanley Kaplan preparing for the A.C.T. 244 00:11:08,016 --> 00:11:09,882 Well, then I am sanguine. 245 00:11:09,918 --> 00:11:11,050 Huh? 246 00:11:11,086 --> 00:11:12,819 Aha! 247 00:11:18,193 --> 00:11:19,826 Guys, wake up. 248 00:11:19,861 --> 00:11:21,661 Oh, man, the bull kicked our asses. 249 00:11:21,696 --> 00:11:23,096 And totally trashed the bar. 250 00:11:24,232 --> 00:11:25,731 What the hell is that? 251 00:11:25,767 --> 00:11:27,233 Oh, that's my ringtone. 252 00:11:27,268 --> 00:11:29,368 It's from Game of Thrones when Stannis's daughter 253 00:11:29,404 --> 00:11:30,937 is burned alive at the stake. 254 00:11:30,972 --> 00:11:33,372 No way. It's from when Arya and that other tiny girl 255 00:11:33,408 --> 00:11:34,640 fight to the death. 256 00:11:34,676 --> 00:11:36,642 Nah, that scream is from the Red Wedding. 257 00:11:36,678 --> 00:11:40,379 It's the sound of a mama being stabbed right in the baby. 258 00:11:40,415 --> 00:11:41,848 Hey, Jerome. 259 00:11:41,883 --> 00:11:43,049 Hey, Peter. 260 00:11:43,084 --> 00:11:44,717 I have some bad news. 261 00:11:44,752 --> 00:11:46,219 My mama... 262 00:11:47,655 --> 00:11:48,855 she's dead. 263 00:11:48,890 --> 00:11:50,156 Aw, man, that sucks, Lois. 264 00:11:50,191 --> 00:11:51,824 Your friend is probably just jealous. 265 00:11:51,860 --> 00:11:53,126 Peter. 266 00:11:53,161 --> 00:11:54,494 There's nothing left for me here, 267 00:11:54,529 --> 00:11:56,329 so I'm coming home tomorrow. 268 00:11:56,364 --> 00:11:59,866 That painting's all I got to remember her by. 269 00:11:59,901 --> 00:12:02,001 You take good care of it, Peter. 270 00:12:02,036 --> 00:12:04,203 It's my prized possession. 271 00:12:08,443 --> 00:12:10,576 I'll see you tomorrow. 272 00:12:11,613 --> 00:12:13,079 What are we gonna do? 273 00:12:13,114 --> 00:12:15,515 Yeah. When Jerome sees that painting, he's gonna kill us. 274 00:12:15,550 --> 00:12:17,650 Don't worry, guys, he's got another one over there. 275 00:12:17,685 --> 00:12:19,318 Peter, that's Bruno Mars. 276 00:12:19,354 --> 00:12:20,419 Bruno Mars? 277 00:12:20,455 --> 00:12:21,487 Who's she? 278 00:12:21,523 --> 00:12:22,555 He's a man. 279 00:12:22,590 --> 00:12:23,823 And he's not even black. 280 00:12:23,858 --> 00:12:27,760 He's a beautiful, mixed-up tomorrow person. 281 00:12:34,235 --> 00:12:35,501 What is this place? 282 00:12:35,537 --> 00:12:37,170 This is what you dragged me out of the house 283 00:12:37,205 --> 00:12:38,538 first thing in the morning for? 284 00:12:38,573 --> 00:12:40,540 Yeah, it's a great company I found to invest in. 285 00:12:40,575 --> 00:12:42,275 Korean. They make protein shakes. 286 00:12:42,310 --> 00:12:43,943 The profits are off the charts. 287 00:12:43,978 --> 00:12:45,578 Well, why is it in the middle of nowhere? 288 00:12:45,613 --> 00:12:47,280 And why are there no windows? 289 00:12:47,315 --> 00:12:49,115 And why is there a security guard out front? 290 00:12:49,150 --> 00:12:50,616 All these questions? 291 00:12:50,652 --> 00:12:53,186 This is why I didn't want to let you have a soda in the car. 292 00:12:53,221 --> 00:12:54,453 It's not 'cause of the soda. 293 00:12:54,489 --> 00:12:56,389 God. 294 00:13:02,430 --> 00:13:03,563 Something's going on here. 295 00:13:03,598 --> 00:13:05,464 I'm taking a look. 296 00:13:05,500 --> 00:13:07,633 What are you doing? It's just a protein shake. 297 00:13:07,669 --> 00:13:09,569 And it's the cheapest on the market. 298 00:13:13,274 --> 00:13:16,776 Uh, Brian, I think I know why it's so cheap. 299 00:13:16,811 --> 00:13:20,179 They're made of dog meat. 300 00:13:20,215 --> 00:13:23,282 Oh, my God, look at all those poor, sad dogs. 301 00:13:23,283 --> 00:13:26,482 ♪ Life is a highway ♪ 302 00:13:26,988 --> 00:13:32,425 ♪ I want to ride it all night long ♪ 303 00:13:32,460 --> 00:13:36,629 ♪ Gimme, gimme, gimme, yeah. ♪ 304 00:13:36,664 --> 00:13:39,365 They're all in trouble. Even Rover Dangerfield. 305 00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:41,500 Oh, I tell you, I got to pay more attention, you know? 306 00:13:41,536 --> 00:13:43,236 When the Korean guy said "shake," 307 00:13:43,271 --> 00:13:44,470 I thought he meant my paw. 308 00:13:44,505 --> 00:13:46,272 Then he said I was gonna be protein. 309 00:13:46,307 --> 00:13:48,241 I said, "Damn right, I'm very pro-teen", 310 00:13:48,276 --> 00:13:49,642 I'm dating a 16-year-old." 311 00:13:49,677 --> 00:13:52,111 Oh, boy, I tell you, I came in this place a purebred. 312 00:13:52,146 --> 00:13:53,579 Now I'm leaving it a purée. 313 00:13:54,782 --> 00:13:56,983 No respect, no respect at all. 314 00:13:57,018 --> 00:13:58,384 Brian, let's get out of here. 315 00:13:58,419 --> 00:13:59,619 What do you mean? I'm taking a meeting. 316 00:13:59,654 --> 00:14:00,920 This company's worth a fortune. 317 00:14:00,955 --> 00:14:03,089 What? You still want to invest in this? 318 00:14:03,124 --> 00:14:05,057 - You can't be serious. - Sorry, Stewie. 319 00:14:05,093 --> 00:14:08,194 Wall Street is a people-eat-dog world, everyone knows that. 320 00:14:08,229 --> 00:14:09,328 Oh, my God. 321 00:14:09,364 --> 00:14:10,963 Brian, you've turned into a monster. 322 00:14:10,999 --> 00:14:12,164 Hey! 323 00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:14,400 That's offensive to the monster community. 324 00:14:14,435 --> 00:14:15,901 Yeah, some of us are nice. 325 00:14:15,937 --> 00:14:17,236 Yeah, real nice. 326 00:14:17,272 --> 00:14:19,972 Weren't you charged with sexually abusing a 16-year-old? 327 00:14:20,008 --> 00:14:21,707 Elmo's accuser recanted 328 00:14:21,743 --> 00:14:24,310 and admitted the relationship was consensual. 329 00:14:24,345 --> 00:14:26,312 Yeah, but wasn't there another case that was only thrown out 330 00:14:26,347 --> 00:14:28,514 because the statute of limitations had expired? 331 00:14:28,549 --> 00:14:30,549 Elmo no comment. 332 00:14:32,787 --> 00:14:33,819 Cookie! 333 00:14:33,855 --> 00:14:35,187 He wants a cookie. 334 00:14:35,223 --> 00:14:36,622 Oh, I love the Muppets. 335 00:14:41,705 --> 00:14:44,138 I can't believe you still want to invest in this. 336 00:14:44,173 --> 00:14:45,473 They use dog meat. 337 00:14:45,508 --> 00:14:47,975 How can you condone the eating of other dogs? 338 00:14:48,011 --> 00:14:49,644 Oh, come on, Stewie, it's their way. 339 00:14:49,679 --> 00:14:51,579 Who are we to judge other cultures? 340 00:14:51,614 --> 00:14:53,514 Look, I'm investing in this company. 341 00:14:53,550 --> 00:14:55,283 And if you're too scared to do it with me, 342 00:14:55,318 --> 00:14:56,918 then maybe I'm working with the wrong partner. 343 00:14:56,953 --> 00:14:58,119 What are you talking about? 344 00:14:58,154 --> 00:14:59,720 I'm the one who taught you how to invest. 345 00:14:59,756 --> 00:15:00,855 You can't ditch me. 346 00:15:00,890 --> 00:15:01,923 Sorry, Stewie. 347 00:15:01,958 --> 00:15:03,891 When I left you, I was but a learner. 348 00:15:03,927 --> 00:15:06,460 Now I am the master. 349 00:15:06,496 --> 00:15:07,695 Hee-ya! 350 00:15:07,730 --> 00:15:10,064 Yeah. No one in Star Wars says "hee-ya." 351 00:15:10,099 --> 00:15:11,399 You know what, Brian, forget it. 352 00:15:11,434 --> 00:15:13,267 We are done. You ruined this. 353 00:15:13,303 --> 00:15:16,170 We were a good team, like Ricki and the Flash. 354 00:15:16,205 --> 00:15:17,738 I love you, Ricki. 355 00:15:17,774 --> 00:15:20,107 I love you, the Flash. 356 00:15:20,143 --> 00:15:21,742 Stewie, I don't think that's right. 357 00:15:21,778 --> 00:15:23,177 Ah, I didn't see the movie. 358 00:15:23,212 --> 00:15:24,845 Yeah, no, I didn't see it either, but, yeah, the, 359 00:15:24,881 --> 00:15:27,014 "the Flash" was the name of her rock band. 360 00:15:27,050 --> 00:15:28,282 Oh, you saw it. 361 00:15:28,318 --> 00:15:29,717 Yeah, I saw it. 362 00:15:29,752 --> 00:15:31,752 So did I. 363 00:15:34,924 --> 00:15:37,258 - This is stupid. -Come on, guys. We got no choice. 364 00:15:37,293 --> 00:15:39,794 We have to paint that portrait of Jerome's mother ourselves, 365 00:15:39,829 --> 00:15:41,629 and this is the only class in town. 366 00:15:41,664 --> 00:15:43,297 But aren't these classes just for lame chicks 367 00:15:43,333 --> 00:15:46,033 who want an excuse to drink together? 368 00:15:48,972 --> 00:15:50,104 I'm having so much fun. 369 00:15:50,139 --> 00:15:51,205 Me, too. 370 00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:52,974 This wine is an artist. 371 00:15:53,009 --> 00:15:55,242 And it painted my smile. 372 00:15:57,947 --> 00:16:00,781 I don't think Paul really wants to marry me. 373 00:16:00,817 --> 00:16:02,783 I, uh... 374 00:16:02,819 --> 00:16:05,286 I'm not sure what we're doing now. 375 00:16:11,327 --> 00:16:12,727 Hi, Brian Griffin. 376 00:16:12,762 --> 00:16:15,930 I have an appointment to see your CEO about an investment. 377 00:16:15,965 --> 00:16:18,332 Ah, yes, we're waiting for you. 378 00:16:18,368 --> 00:16:21,836 Here, breathe deeply into this investors' rag. 379 00:16:21,871 --> 00:16:24,605 All right. Now, I'm not sure if I'm saying this right, 380 00:16:24,641 --> 00:16:27,842 but, uh, "Boo. Cocky." 381 00:16:33,650 --> 00:16:34,982 Can you believe Brian? 382 00:16:35,018 --> 00:16:37,518 Thinking he can fire me when I'm the one who taught him? 383 00:16:37,553 --> 00:16:38,686 I have had it with him. 384 00:16:38,721 --> 00:16:39,920 Absolutely had it. 385 00:16:39,956 --> 00:16:41,288 He's just so selfish. 386 00:16:41,324 --> 00:16:42,590 He drives me crazy. 387 00:16:42,625 --> 00:16:44,892 I don't know why I put up with it, I guess... 388 00:16:44,927 --> 00:16:47,895 I guess I just have a forgiving personality. 389 00:16:47,930 --> 00:16:50,798 But enough about that, I'm probably starting to bore you. 390 00:16:50,833 --> 00:16:53,701 It's just that whenever I start talking about Brian, 391 00:16:53,736 --> 00:16:55,236 I lose all track of time. 392 00:16:55,271 --> 00:16:57,038 You would think, after all these years together, 393 00:16:57,073 --> 00:17:00,007 that I could simply tell myself enough is enough. 394 00:17:02,045 --> 00:17:03,978 You've reached Stewie Griffin. Leave a message. 395 00:17:04,013 --> 00:17:06,047 Hey! Give me that phone. 396 00:17:06,082 --> 00:17:08,149 Stewie, it's Brian, you got to help me, I'm gonna get ea... 397 00:17:08,184 --> 00:17:10,184 Damn it. 398 00:17:10,219 --> 00:17:13,287 Well, I guess Stewie's my only hope now. 399 00:17:13,322 --> 00:17:15,222 I can't believe I might die like this. 400 00:17:15,258 --> 00:17:17,992 I always thought I'd go the way all dogs dream about: 401 00:17:18,027 --> 00:17:21,195 slowly, and at great inconvenience to my owners. 402 00:17:21,230 --> 00:17:22,763 Come on, boy. Here we go. 403 00:17:22,799 --> 00:17:25,266 Here we go. Let's get you to the living room. 404 00:17:26,569 --> 00:17:28,569 Lois, wrap one of his "walking to the car" pills 405 00:17:28,604 --> 00:17:30,237 in roast beef and peanut butter. 406 00:17:30,273 --> 00:17:32,239 I'm gonna hold his hips while he stands confused 407 00:17:32,275 --> 00:17:33,874 in front of the water dish. 408 00:17:33,910 --> 00:17:35,476 Go on, boy. It's right there. 409 00:17:40,717 --> 00:17:42,416 Come on, boy, it's right there. 410 00:17:42,452 --> 00:17:43,951 It's water. You like it. 411 00:17:46,723 --> 00:17:47,855 There you go. 412 00:17:47,890 --> 00:17:49,690 You're doing it yourself. 413 00:17:53,296 --> 00:17:55,096 Oh, God. Jerome's gonna be here any minute, 414 00:17:55,131 --> 00:17:56,430 and then we're totally screwed. 415 00:17:56,466 --> 00:17:58,699 Well, I guess all we can do now is the honorable thing: 416 00:17:58,735 --> 00:18:01,702 make realistic puppets of ourselves to leave in the bar 417 00:18:01,738 --> 00:18:03,904 for Jerome to beat the crap out of. 418 00:18:06,042 --> 00:18:07,875 What the hell happened to my bar? 419 00:18:07,910 --> 00:18:09,376 And my painting! 420 00:18:09,412 --> 00:18:11,245 Well, don't just sit there staring at me 421 00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:14,315 with your limp limbs and your straw-filled aid shirts. 422 00:18:17,053 --> 00:18:18,486 Wow, it's working! 423 00:18:18,521 --> 00:18:19,820 Good plan, Peter. 424 00:18:19,856 --> 00:18:21,288 Thanks, guys. 425 00:18:21,324 --> 00:18:23,524 Oh, no, I left the real me in there. 426 00:18:23,559 --> 00:18:25,626 He's falling for it, guys. 427 00:18:25,661 --> 00:18:27,294 He thinks I'm me. 428 00:18:32,168 --> 00:18:34,101 Come on, Stewie, check your damn messages. 429 00:18:37,273 --> 00:18:39,240 God, that must be where they do the deed. 430 00:18:39,275 --> 00:18:42,042 I hope it's at least peaceful and humane. 431 00:18:43,079 --> 00:18:44,812 Vick! 432 00:18:44,847 --> 00:18:45,946 Oh, boy. 433 00:18:46,682 --> 00:18:49,250 And Eli Manning! 434 00:18:49,285 --> 00:18:51,152 Aw, I didn't know that about Eli Manning. 435 00:18:51,187 --> 00:18:53,587 Oh, yeah. I'm a real idiot psychopath. 436 00:18:59,295 --> 00:19:00,494 What was that? 437 00:19:03,132 --> 00:19:04,298 What the...? 438 00:19:06,135 --> 00:19:07,601 Good job, Rupert. 439 00:19:07,637 --> 00:19:09,637 Now let's hope we can find Brian before it's too late. 440 00:19:09,672 --> 00:19:11,372 Hey, don't touch me, I'm rich! 441 00:19:11,407 --> 00:19:15,142 Ugh, he just makes it so difficult to be on his side. 442 00:19:17,613 --> 00:19:20,781 Oh, come on, there's got to be a way we can work this out. 443 00:19:20,817 --> 00:19:22,349 Rupert, music! 444 00:19:23,486 --> 00:19:25,452 ♪ Life is a highway ♪ 445 00:19:25,488 --> 00:19:29,290 ♪ I want to ride it all night long... ♪ 446 00:19:29,325 --> 00:19:30,891 Oh, no. He knows Gymkata. 447 00:19:30,927 --> 00:19:32,126 There is no defense. 448 00:19:32,161 --> 00:19:35,362 Everyone, run for safety over by those uneven bars. 449 00:19:35,398 --> 00:19:36,897 ♪ I want to drive it... ♪ 450 00:19:36,933 --> 00:19:38,866 Bad idea, buddy. 451 00:19:42,138 --> 00:19:44,305 ♪ Life is a highway ♪ 452 00:19:44,340 --> 00:19:47,975 ♪ I want to ride it all night long ♪ 453 00:19:49,712 --> 00:19:51,478 ♪ Gimme, gimme, gimme, yeah ♪ 454 00:19:51,514 --> 00:19:53,380 ♪ If you're going my way ♪ 455 00:19:53,416 --> 00:19:54,648 ♪ I want to drive it... ♪ 456 00:19:54,684 --> 00:19:57,151 Stewie! Oh, my God, thank you. 457 00:19:58,521 --> 00:19:59,820 I'm so sorry, Stewie. 458 00:19:59,856 --> 00:20:01,922 I guess I just lost my head. 459 00:20:01,958 --> 00:20:03,591 Well, lesson learned, Brian. 460 00:20:03,626 --> 00:20:05,359 Money doesn't buy happiness. 461 00:20:05,394 --> 00:20:06,827 This does: 462 00:20:06,863 --> 00:20:09,196 ♪ Life is a highway ♪ 463 00:20:09,232 --> 00:20:12,800 ♪ I want to ride it all night long ♪ 464 00:20:12,835 --> 00:20:15,703 ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 465 00:20:15,738 --> 00:20:18,706 ♪ If you're going my way ♪ 466 00:20:18,741 --> 00:20:23,010 ♪ I want to drive it all night long ♪ 467 00:20:23,045 --> 00:20:24,278 ♪ Gimme, gimme, gimme, yeah. ♪ 468 00:20:29,238 --> 00:20:32,372 Wow, Stewie. I am so sorry I became such a jerk. 469 00:20:32,407 --> 00:20:34,674 But I guess I learned my lesson about the evils of Wall Street. 470 00:20:34,710 --> 00:20:36,009 What are you talking about? 471 00:20:36,044 --> 00:20:37,510 This isn't about Wall Street, this is about you. 472 00:20:37,546 --> 00:20:38,745 Me? 473 00:20:38,780 --> 00:20:40,180 I've been investing in the market forever, 474 00:20:40,215 --> 00:20:41,348 and doing just fine. 475 00:20:41,383 --> 00:20:42,582 You did it for one week, 476 00:20:42,618 --> 00:20:44,851 and were literally eating your own kind. 477 00:20:44,886 --> 00:20:46,186 This isn't about Wall Street. 478 00:20:46,221 --> 00:20:47,687 I cannot stress that enough. 479 00:20:47,723 --> 00:20:49,689 Well, money is the root of all evil. 480 00:20:49,725 --> 00:20:51,191 No, it's not. It's just you. 481 00:20:51,226 --> 00:20:53,260 Hello, others, I am the father. 482 00:20:53,295 --> 00:20:54,427 Where is the mother, 483 00:20:54,463 --> 00:20:57,530 and what kind of sex does she like to have? 484 00:20:57,531 --> 00:21:00,531 - Synced and corrected by AlexandreMT - - www.addic7ed.com -