1
00:00:32,583 --> 00:00:35,343
Peter, don't forget
you have a physical today at 1:00.

2
00:00:35,463 --> 00:00:38,943
For the hundredth time, Lois,
I won't forget. Nag, nag, nag.

3
00:00:39,023 --> 00:00:40,983
Sometimes I think
I should have married that woman

4
00:00:41,023 --> 00:00:42,503
I met the night of my bachelor party.

5
00:00:43,503 --> 00:00:46,223
Peter, I can't believe
your friends just left you here.

6
00:00:46,343 --> 00:00:47,343
Let's get you home.

7
00:00:47,423 --> 00:00:50,343
Wow, strange lady. You're so sexy.

8
00:00:50,463 --> 00:00:54,183
I should marry you tomorrow
instead of that pain-in-the-ass Lois.

9
00:00:54,263 --> 00:00:55,263
Peter, it's me.

10
00:00:55,343 --> 00:00:58,743
You know what? Screw it.
I am so gonna cheat on Lois right now.

11
00:00:58,863 --> 00:01:00,743
- I don't care if she finds out.
- Peter...

12
00:01:00,863 --> 00:01:03,743
You got a condom? Never mind.
I got this Milky Way wrapper.

13
00:01:07,382 --> 00:01:08,782
- Put this on.
- Why?

14
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:11,462
Because I'm skipping my physical
to go have steaks with the guys

15
00:01:11,542 --> 00:01:12,998
and I don't want Lois to know about it.

16
00:01:13,022 --> 00:01:14,022
Um.

17
00:01:14,422 --> 00:01:15,422
Okay.

18
00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:20,262
- Lois, I'm going to my physical now.
- Okay, honey. I'll see you later.

19
00:01:21,782 --> 00:01:22,782
Um...

20
00:01:23,902 --> 00:01:27,182
What the hell? I'll just ask it.
Why did we need the horse suit for that?

21
00:01:33,422 --> 00:01:35,622
Okay, all right, that's...

22
00:01:35,982 --> 00:01:38,222
That's seven 16-ounce steaks.

23
00:01:38,982 --> 00:01:40,782
Come on, Joe.
You haven't even finished one.

24
00:01:40,862 --> 00:01:42,142
I mean, that guy had two.

25
00:01:42,222 --> 00:01:44,182
I know, I know, I'm terrible.

26
00:01:44,302 --> 00:01:46,382
Which is why
I'm gonna order the cheesecake.

27
00:01:46,862 --> 00:01:48,382
I can't do it. I'm...

28
00:01:48,862 --> 00:01:50,182
I'm so full.

29
00:01:50,262 --> 00:01:53,582
Full of what? Estrogen.
Come on, take the skirt off, you pansy.

30
00:01:54,022 --> 00:01:55,782
Let's go. Chow down, Mary Jane.

31
00:01:55,862 --> 00:01:57,262
I said, I can't.

32
00:01:57,382 --> 00:01:58,862
- Eat it. Eat the damn steak.
- No.

33
00:01:58,982 --> 00:02:00,398
- Come on! What are you waiting for?
- I can't.

34
00:02:00,422 --> 00:02:01,718
- Eat it, Joe. Eat it!
- No, no, no.

35
00:02:01,742 --> 00:02:03,502
- Joe, eat it!
- I said I'm not hungry!

36
00:02:04,622 --> 00:02:06,982
Where is it now, huh? Where is it now?

37
00:02:07,062 --> 00:02:09,222
Easy, sailor, easy.

38
00:02:09,302 --> 00:02:10,822
Put the gun down, Joe.

39
00:02:10,902 --> 00:02:12,981
Yeah. Nobody's judging you, man.
It's cool.

40
00:02:13,301 --> 00:02:15,941
I'll just put this back in your purse
next to your tampons.

41
00:02:18,541 --> 00:02:20,581
<i>All right, let's start the bidding.</i>

42
00:02:20,661 --> 00:02:22,661
<i>Jennifer, how much do you bid
on the dinette set?</i>

43
00:02:23,781 --> 00:02:25,381
<i>$675, Bob.</i>

44
00:02:25,501 --> 00:02:26,781
<i>$675. Steven?</i>

45
00:02:26,861 --> 00:02:27,861
<i>$780.</i>

46
00:02:27,941 --> 00:02:30,341
<i>- $780. Tammy?
- What was the last bid?</i>

47
00:02:30,421 --> 00:02:31,941
<i>- $780.
- $781.</i>

48
00:02:32,901 --> 00:02:34,181
<i>...you!</i>

49
00:02:35,461 --> 00:02:37,061
Hi, honey. How was your physical?

50
00:02:37,141 --> 00:02:40,741
Good. Good. Good. Yeah. Yeah.
Too good, matter of fact.

51
00:02:40,821 --> 00:02:42,301
You know what the doctor said?

52
00:02:42,381 --> 00:02:44,501
Doctor said I was too healthy, you know?

53
00:02:44,621 --> 00:02:46,181
In too good of shape.

54
00:02:46,261 --> 00:02:48,181
Don't even know how. Too good of shape.

55
00:02:48,301 --> 00:02:50,661
- You didn't go to your physical, did you?
- I did not.

56
00:02:53,181 --> 00:02:55,301
So, Doctor? Is Peter healthy?

57
00:02:55,381 --> 00:02:57,221
My goodness!
You'll be dead within a month.

58
00:02:57,301 --> 00:02:58,341
- What?
- What?

59
00:02:58,421 --> 00:03:00,621
Oh, Hдgar the Horrible,
if you keep up that lifestyle

60
00:03:00,741 --> 00:03:03,341
of pillaging and giant turkey legs,
you'll be dead within a month.

61
00:03:03,421 --> 00:03:04,421
Now on to you.

62
00:03:04,461 --> 00:03:06,261
So, what do you think?
Pretty healthy, huh?

63
00:03:06,381 --> 00:03:08,821
Well, Mr. Griffin, let's take a look
at your physical results.

64
00:03:09,981 --> 00:03:12,421
There's a spider in here. Now, here we go.

65
00:03:12,501 --> 00:03:14,621
Mr. Griffin, you're going to
expire in a month.

66
00:03:15,101 --> 00:03:16,861
This is your driver's license, isn't it?

67
00:03:16,941 --> 00:03:19,660
Now, unfortunately,
I'm afraid you are going to die

68
00:03:19,860 --> 00:03:22,140
when you watch
these Dean Martin celebrity roasts.

69
00:03:22,220 --> 00:03:24,460
Will you just tell us
how Peter's health is?

70
00:03:24,580 --> 00:03:27,540
Mr. Griffin, I'm not quite sure
how to say this.

71
00:03:27,820 --> 00:03:32,540
Kim Bass-inger, Base-inger,
Basin-jer, Basinger?

72
00:03:33,100 --> 00:03:35,620
- But now on to the cancer.
- Oh, my God!

73
00:03:35,740 --> 00:03:38,060
You are a Cancer, right?
You were born in July?

74
00:03:38,140 --> 00:03:39,500
Now, on to these test results.

75
00:03:39,580 --> 00:03:41,700
My, they're much worse than I thought.

76
00:03:41,820 --> 00:03:44,380
My son got a D minus on his history test.

77
00:03:44,460 --> 00:03:46,236
Now, Mr. Griffin,
that liver's got to come out.

78
00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:47,260
- What?
- What?

79
00:03:47,340 --> 00:03:49,980
It's been in the microwave
for three minutes. It'll get dry. Now...

80
00:03:50,060 --> 00:03:54,300
Please. Please.
We can't take any more shtick.

81
00:03:54,740 --> 00:03:57,220
Please, just tell us, is Peter healthy?

82
00:03:57,300 --> 00:03:58,980
Oh, yeah. He's fine. He's just really fat.

83
00:03:59,020 --> 00:04:01,780
- Oh, thank God!
- Wait, wait, wait. Hang on a second.

84
00:04:01,900 --> 00:04:03,460
Did you just say I was fat?

85
00:04:03,580 --> 00:04:05,700
Well, yeah. You are pretty fat.

86
00:04:06,180 --> 00:04:07,180
Um...

87
00:04:07,220 --> 00:04:09,700
Okay. This is news to me.

88
00:04:10,460 --> 00:04:13,060
Boy! This is more awkward
than having sex with a rhinoceros

89
00:04:13,180 --> 00:04:14,340
who doesn't love you anymore.

90
00:04:15,300 --> 00:04:17,860
Why wouldn't you look at me during?

91
00:04:24,179 --> 00:04:25,419
Hey, how was your physical?

92
00:04:25,539 --> 00:04:28,219
Stupid doctor said I was fat.
Can you believe that idiot?

93
00:04:28,299 --> 00:04:29,859
Well, Peter, you are on the large side.

94
00:04:29,979 --> 00:04:33,059
Oh, please, Brian. If I was fat,
could I do this with a Hula-Hoop?

95
00:04:41,419 --> 00:04:44,619
No. No, no, I guess you couldn't do that
if you were fat.

96
00:04:47,579 --> 00:04:49,939
Careful, Peter. That's an old family photo.

97
00:04:50,059 --> 00:04:51,619
My mother gave it to me.

98
00:04:52,699 --> 00:04:54,179
That's weird.

99
00:04:57,739 --> 00:04:59,859
- I didn't know you had a brother.
- I don't.

100
00:04:59,979 --> 00:05:01,699
I mean, I don't think so.

101
00:05:01,779 --> 00:05:03,779
Hey, if I'm fat, then Stewie's fat, too.

102
00:05:03,859 --> 00:05:05,579
Because we wear the same size onesie.

103
00:05:11,819 --> 00:05:13,579
- Hello, pumpkin.
- Hello, Daddy?

104
00:05:13,699 --> 00:05:15,179
Did I miss your piano recital?

105
00:05:15,299 --> 00:05:17,179
No, Daddy. I'm in my 40s now.

106
00:05:17,259 --> 00:05:18,339
Good God!

107
00:05:18,419 --> 00:05:20,419
I had a question I wanted to ask.

108
00:05:21,459 --> 00:05:22,899
Do I have a brother?

109
00:05:24,179 --> 00:05:26,059
No, no. Don't be silly.

110
00:05:26,179 --> 00:05:28,099
'Cause I found this picture...

111
00:05:29,259 --> 00:05:31,019
Oh, Dick. Thank God you're here.
Talk to her.

112
00:05:31,138 --> 00:05:33,538
Message CM-27.

113
00:05:33,618 --> 00:05:38,058
The subscriber you are trying to reach
is unavailable or outside the calling area.

114
00:05:38,938 --> 00:05:42,658
- What do you feel like doing later?
- Message CM-42.

115
00:05:42,738 --> 00:05:45,378
Let's go pay some hookers
to knock our junk around.

116
00:05:48,178 --> 00:05:49,858
Are you sure this is a good idea?

117
00:05:49,978 --> 00:05:51,818
Daddy's never gonna tell me the truth.

118
00:05:51,898 --> 00:05:54,418
The only way to find out
is to check the family records.

119
00:05:54,538 --> 00:05:57,258
Breaking into
Grandma and Grandpa's house.

120
00:05:57,378 --> 00:05:59,858
This is more exciting
than that time I saw Bobby McFerrin

121
00:05:59,978 --> 00:06:01,378
fall down all those stairs.

122
00:06:07,658 --> 00:06:08,778
Cool!

123
00:06:11,258 --> 00:06:13,378
Wait. What are you doing?
They're sleeping in here.

124
00:06:13,498 --> 00:06:16,378
Oh, please. They get so doped up
on sleeping pills and liquor,

125
00:06:16,458 --> 00:06:18,538
an earthquake wouldn't wake them up.

126
00:06:22,018 --> 00:06:23,978
My God! How does she sleep at night

127
00:06:24,098 --> 00:06:26,498
knowing she has to funnel
this old duffer's hog?

128
00:06:30,138 --> 00:06:32,418
This is it! Patrick Pewterschmidt.

129
00:06:32,498 --> 00:06:36,018
56 Meadow Lane, Brookfield.
I do have a brother.

130
00:06:36,178 --> 00:06:38,057
Oh, my God. I've got to meet him.

131
00:06:38,177 --> 00:06:40,257
Oh, hey, Brian.
You know what would be fun?

132
00:06:41,257 --> 00:06:42,617
Oh, God, totally!

133
00:06:45,617 --> 00:06:46,777
- Awesome!
- Awesome!

134
00:06:46,857 --> 00:06:49,537
You know, sometimes the old-fashioned
playthings are the best.

135
00:06:49,697 --> 00:06:51,417
<i>Hey, kids of America.</i>

136
00:06:51,497 --> 00:06:53,537
<i>It's hand-painted wooden ball in a cup.</i>

137
00:06:53,617 --> 00:06:56,417
<i>Who needs
constant electronic video stimulation</i>

138
00:06:56,497 --> 00:06:58,017
<i>when there's ball in a cup?</i>

139
00:06:58,137 --> 00:07:01,977
<i>Mexico's favorite toy for over 340 years.</i>

140
00:07:02,057 --> 00:07:04,297
<i>Toss the ball, catch it in the cup,</i>

141
00:07:04,417 --> 00:07:07,977
<i>dump it out of the cup, toss it,
and catch it in the cup again.</i>

142
00:07:08,097 --> 00:07:10,857
<i>The ball is on a string
and attached to the cup.</i>

143
00:07:10,977 --> 00:07:13,657
<i>So there's no worry
if you don't catch the ball in the cup.</i>

144
00:07:13,737 --> 00:07:16,897
<i>And cleanup is as easy
as catching a ball in a cup.</i>

145
00:07:17,017 --> 00:07:19,617
<i>So why spend another day
not catching a ball in a cup</i>

146
00:07:19,737 --> 00:07:22,057
<i>when you could be
catching a ball in a cup?</i>

147
00:07:25,777 --> 00:07:26,777
Ball in a cup!

148
00:07:30,817 --> 00:07:33,217
Peter, I think maybe you're in denial
about this fat thing.

149
00:07:33,297 --> 00:07:36,337
Oh, yeah? Well, I challenge you
to prove to me that I'm fat.

150
00:07:36,897 --> 00:07:38,177
Okay, hang on.

151
00:07:38,417 --> 00:07:39,537
- See this?
- Yeah.

152
00:07:39,657 --> 00:07:41,977
- You know what it is?
- Duh, it's an apple.

153
00:07:42,057 --> 00:07:44,056
Good, good, good. All right, watch this.

154
00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:48,136
What the... What is this?

155
00:07:48,216 --> 00:07:49,656
Is this some kind of gag?

156
00:07:49,736 --> 00:07:51,656
- No. That's orbit.
- Huh?

157
00:07:51,736 --> 00:07:53,576
You have your own gravitational pull.

158
00:07:53,656 --> 00:07:55,176
Oh, that's a bunch of crap.

159
00:07:59,336 --> 00:08:01,136
<i>Now back to The Three Stooges.</i>

160
00:08:10,536 --> 00:08:13,256
Can you believe I'm about to meet
my long lost brother?

161
00:08:13,456 --> 00:08:15,736
<i>Maybe Dateline will do a story on us, huh?</i>

162
00:08:15,816 --> 00:08:18,136
I'll get to meet that pompous ass,
Stone Phillips.

163
00:08:18,216 --> 00:08:20,576
He's a kind of guy you hate
till he's inside you.

164
00:08:20,656 --> 00:08:22,256
There it is. 56 Meadow Lane.

165
00:08:25,496 --> 00:08:27,456
"Brookfield Insane Asylum"?

166
00:08:27,976 --> 00:08:30,256
Oh, my God! Mom's brother's crazy.

167
00:08:30,696 --> 00:08:33,816
Oh, no. I didn't catch the ball in the cup.
Oh, wait a minute.

168
00:08:33,896 --> 00:08:36,536
It's okay because the ball is on a string
and attached to the cup.

169
00:08:41,576 --> 00:08:43,776
Doctor, is my brother really insane?

170
00:08:43,896 --> 00:08:46,256
Mrs. Griffin,
we don't use the word "insane."

171
00:08:46,376 --> 00:08:48,575
We prefer the term "mentally hilarious."

172
00:08:48,655 --> 00:08:50,455
I can't wait to meet the lunatic.

173
00:08:50,535 --> 00:08:52,535
I bet he's even weirder
than that commercial I saw.

174
00:08:52,855 --> 00:08:55,375
- Hey, is that that new butter substitute?
- It sure is.

175
00:08:55,495 --> 00:08:57,776
Is it true it has half the calories
of butter or margarine

176
00:08:57,855 --> 00:08:59,215
- with all the great taste?
- Yeah.

177
00:08:59,255 --> 00:09:00,735
- Can I have some?
- Get your own.

178
00:09:00,855 --> 00:09:03,215
- Take that, you bitch!
- What the hell?

179
00:09:03,335 --> 00:09:06,455
- How'd you like that?
- Hey, joke's on you. I have hepatitis.

180
00:09:07,615 --> 00:09:09,015
- Patrick?
- Yes?

181
00:09:09,135 --> 00:09:11,975
My name's Lois. I'm your sister.

182
00:09:12,055 --> 00:09:15,455
Oh, my God, Lois.
I never thought I'd see you again.

183
00:09:15,575 --> 00:09:17,055
These are my children.

184
00:09:17,135 --> 00:09:19,855
Why do you live in a crazy house,
Uncle Patrick?

185
00:09:19,975 --> 00:09:24,175
Well, when I was just a little boy,
I had a very traumatic experience.

186
00:09:25,375 --> 00:09:27,735
Mommy, can I have a drink of water?

187
00:09:28,255 --> 00:09:29,975
Jackie Gleason!

188
00:09:30,055 --> 00:09:31,615
Beat it, kid. Your mother's busy.

189
00:09:33,735 --> 00:09:34,935
Pow, right in the kisser!

190
00:09:35,335 --> 00:09:37,775
- That's a horrible story.
- Yes.

191
00:09:37,895 --> 00:09:40,095
I was so traumatized they sent me here.

192
00:09:40,215 --> 00:09:42,015
And I guess
they must have forgotten about me.

193
00:09:42,095 --> 00:09:44,175
Well, you seem perfectly normal to me.

194
00:09:44,295 --> 00:09:47,695
And no brother of mine is gonna be
cooped up in some insane asylum.

195
00:09:47,815 --> 00:09:50,055
We are taking you back to Quahog with us.

196
00:09:50,175 --> 00:09:51,415
Oh, that's a great idea.

197
00:09:51,495 --> 00:09:53,431
Maybe he can bring his sling blade
and order up some

198
00:09:53,455 --> 00:09:55,454
French-fried potatoes.

199
00:09:55,734 --> 00:09:56,734
Mmm-hmm.

200
00:09:58,534 --> 00:10:00,414
Thank God I'm out of that hospital.

201
00:10:00,494 --> 00:10:02,654
It's great to be eating lunch
with my family

202
00:10:02,774 --> 00:10:04,694
instead of a bunch
of chronic masturbators.

203
00:10:04,774 --> 00:10:06,094
Those people are disgusting.

204
00:10:06,214 --> 00:10:09,214
Is it lonely up there
on your pedestal, Patrick?

205
00:10:09,334 --> 00:10:11,934
Oh, Peter, there you are.
This is my brother Patrick.

206
00:10:12,054 --> 00:10:13,550
Yeah, yeah. Good to meet you, Patrick.

207
00:10:13,574 --> 00:10:16,614
All right, listen up, everybody.
I have something to tell you.

208
00:10:16,734 --> 00:10:19,094
I'm not quite sure how to say this.

209
00:10:19,814 --> 00:10:20,934
I'm fat.

210
00:10:21,094 --> 00:10:23,174
Let me give you a minute to absorb that.

211
00:10:23,614 --> 00:10:26,294
That's the way it is.
It's nobody's fault, Meg.

212
00:10:26,374 --> 00:10:28,694
But I've decided to do something about it.

213
00:10:28,774 --> 00:10:30,934
Oh, great.
You gonna drop some weight, fat ass?

214
00:10:31,014 --> 00:10:34,294
No, dummy. I'm gonna help
make this a fat man's world

215
00:10:34,374 --> 00:10:38,494
by establishing the National Association
for the Advancement of Fat People.

216
00:10:38,694 --> 00:10:41,614
This is the best idea I've had
since I slayed that dragon.

217
00:10:43,774 --> 00:10:45,254
- Cybill Shepherd?
- Yes.

218
00:11:00,494 --> 00:11:03,573
People, you are free!

219
00:11:09,093 --> 00:11:11,213
You know, I'm very glad
you're here, Patrick.

220
00:11:11,333 --> 00:11:12,773
Well, I want to tell you that

221
00:11:12,893 --> 00:11:15,293
Marian and I both appreciate
what you've done.

222
00:11:15,373 --> 00:11:18,253
Marian? Oh, you have a girlfriend.

223
00:11:18,373 --> 00:11:21,213
Oh, where are my manners?
Marian is my wife.

224
00:11:21,293 --> 00:11:22,693
She is sitting right next to me.

225
00:11:22,773 --> 00:11:24,373
Oh, here we go.

226
00:11:24,453 --> 00:11:25,453
Oh...

227
00:11:26,533 --> 00:11:28,573
Nice to meet you, Marian.

228
00:11:28,653 --> 00:11:31,653
What's that, honey? Oh, yes. Hang on.

229
00:11:31,773 --> 00:11:33,213
Marian wants some coffee.

230
00:11:33,773 --> 00:11:35,733
Lois, did you see that? He's nuts.

231
00:11:35,813 --> 00:11:38,733
Brian, he's been locked up
in that place for 30 years.

232
00:11:38,853 --> 00:11:42,853
It's perfectly understandable that
he'd invent an imaginary companion.

233
00:11:42,973 --> 00:11:45,853
Yes. He's even more imaginative
than the people who invented singing.

234
00:12:16,892 --> 00:12:19,132
All right, everyone, I'd
like to get started.

235
00:12:19,212 --> 00:12:20,812
I'd like to get...

236
00:12:21,972 --> 00:12:22,972
We're start...

237
00:12:23,092 --> 00:12:25,852
You know what? Maybe...
Maybe everyone should sit down.

238
00:12:36,452 --> 00:12:39,732
Okay, that's better.
Welcome, everybody, to the...

239
00:12:44,572 --> 00:12:47,332
Snacks are best saved for later.

240
00:13:01,492 --> 00:13:04,372
Okay, now, I've prepared
an agenda for our organization,

241
00:13:04,452 --> 00:13:07,332
what we want from the community
as fat people with pride.

242
00:13:24,451 --> 00:13:26,651
All right, I think
we got a lot accomplished here today.

243
00:13:26,771 --> 00:13:28,131
We'll pick this up again tomorrow.

244
00:13:30,571 --> 00:13:32,611
Hey, guys, I'm going for a run.

245
00:13:32,731 --> 00:13:35,531
Do me a favor
and keep Marian company while I'm gone.

246
00:13:35,971 --> 00:13:38,171
- Sure.
- Great. Bye, honey.

247
00:13:40,851 --> 00:13:43,291
Hey, Brian.
Marian just called you an alcoholic.

248
00:13:43,811 --> 00:13:46,451
Oh, yeah? Marian just called you a homo.

249
00:13:46,531 --> 00:13:48,731
Wait a second. I'll be right back.

250
00:13:50,171 --> 00:13:53,371
Hey, Brian, Brian.
What if I put this cucumber right here?

251
00:13:54,131 --> 00:13:57,211
Put the cucumber right there.
Do you think Patrick would be angry?

252
00:13:57,291 --> 00:13:58,691
I don't know, man. It's his wife.

253
00:13:58,771 --> 00:14:02,811
You don't think he'd be ticked off
if I put this... Just put that right there?

254
00:14:02,891 --> 00:14:05,051
Just right in that spot,
right there on the couch?

255
00:14:05,451 --> 00:14:07,091
Hey, Marian's giving you a thumb's up.

256
00:14:07,571 --> 00:14:08,731
You know what we should do?

257
00:14:08,851 --> 00:14:11,811
We should let it sit here for a couple
of weeks and see if it pickles.

258
00:14:14,211 --> 00:14:17,171
If after three weeks it pickles,
then she's real

259
00:14:17,251 --> 00:14:18,971
and we both have to buy Patrick a steak.

260
00:14:25,890 --> 00:14:28,730
Hey, pie. I know what you want.

261
00:14:28,810 --> 00:14:30,370
I saw you in that movie.

262
00:14:30,490 --> 00:14:31,930
Whore, slut, bitch.

263
00:14:32,050 --> 00:14:33,730
You don't deserve to have sex with me.

264
00:14:33,850 --> 00:14:36,090
Instead, I'm gonna
eat the whore out of you.

265
00:14:36,170 --> 00:14:38,650
Peter, did you start a coalition
for fat guys?

266
00:14:38,730 --> 00:14:40,250
Yeah. The fat-guy coalition.

267
00:14:40,370 --> 00:14:42,690
Peter, you shouldn't encourage people
to be fat.

268
00:14:42,770 --> 00:14:45,490
- Fat people are immoral.
- How do you figure, sports fan?

269
00:14:45,570 --> 00:14:48,850
They're just bad people,
like that Jackie Gleason.

270
00:14:48,930 --> 00:14:50,890
He was fat and he was bad.

271
00:14:51,010 --> 00:14:52,370
One time when I was a boy...

272
00:14:52,450 --> 00:14:53,970
I love Jackie Gleason.

273
00:14:54,050 --> 00:14:56,490
Hey, take a look at what I bought
at this TV convention.

274
00:14:57,850 --> 00:14:59,850
It's a bus driver's uniform.

275
00:15:00,770 --> 00:15:02,050
Pow, right in the kisser!

276
00:15:04,010 --> 00:15:10,050
Pow, right in the kisser!
Pow, right in the kisser!

277
00:15:10,250 --> 00:15:11,650
Pow, right in the kisser!

278
00:15:11,810 --> 00:15:13,090
Pow, right in the kisser!

279
00:15:13,250 --> 00:15:14,450
Pow, right in the kisser!

280
00:15:14,650 --> 00:15:15,930
Pow, right in the kisser!

281
00:15:16,250 --> 00:15:19,010
- Pow, right in the kisser!
- No!

282
00:15:19,170 --> 00:15:21,850
Wow! That set him off
like a Paul Shaffer fire alarm.

283
00:15:33,129 --> 00:15:34,849
- Hello?
- Lois, it's your father.

284
00:15:34,969 --> 00:15:37,169
The hospital called
and said you released Patrick.

285
00:15:37,249 --> 00:15:39,649
Have you lost your mind?
He's incredibly dangerous.

286
00:15:39,769 --> 00:15:42,769
Oh, well, that's ridiculous.
Patrick is a very nice man.

287
00:15:42,849 --> 00:15:46,089
And you should be ashamed of yourself
for locking up your own son.

288
00:15:47,009 --> 00:15:48,409
Whose pickle is this?

289
00:15:48,609 --> 00:15:50,809
<i>This just in. The body of a local fat man</i>

290
00:15:50,889 --> 00:15:53,169
<i>was found murdered
in Quahog Park last night.</i>

291
00:15:53,249 --> 00:15:55,169
<i>Police released this sketch of the suspect.</i>

292
00:15:57,329 --> 00:15:58,769
Oh, my God!

293
00:15:59,009 --> 00:16:01,529
<i>Police also released this sketch
of a female accomplice</i>

294
00:16:01,609 --> 00:16:02,809
<i>believed to be his wife.</i>

295
00:16:09,249 --> 00:16:10,649
<i>Hello, I'm Tom Tucker.</i>

296
00:16:10,729 --> 00:16:13,449
<i>Quahog's newest serial killer
has struck again.</i>

297
00:16:13,569 --> 00:16:15,849
<i>Since the first victim
at Quahog Park last week,</i>

298
00:16:15,969 --> 00:16:19,449
<i>three more men have been killed,
all of them very, very fat.</i>

299
00:16:19,689 --> 00:16:23,009
- Lois, that sketch looks a lot like Patrick.
- Oh, that's ridiculous.

300
00:16:23,089 --> 00:16:26,489
I don't know. I mean, he's clearly crazy.
Look at that imaginary wife of his.

301
00:16:26,569 --> 00:16:29,889
Well, if she's imaginary, how do you
explain the pickle on the couch?

302
00:16:29,969 --> 00:16:33,848
I don't understand what...
Oh, wait. What? Really?

303
00:16:34,328 --> 00:16:36,768
- Hey, Stewie!
- I know, I know. I heard!

304
00:16:39,168 --> 00:16:40,488
Patrick.

305
00:16:41,008 --> 00:16:42,168
Where have you been?

306
00:16:42,648 --> 00:16:45,368
Oh, it's nothing you need
to concern yourself with, Lois.

307
00:16:45,448 --> 00:16:46,968
Well, that's a relief.

308
00:16:47,088 --> 00:16:48,448
Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's a relief.

309
00:16:48,528 --> 00:16:51,928
Yeah, the Fat Guy Strangler's living here
and there's a fat guy in the house.

310
00:16:52,008 --> 00:16:55,288
This'll be a bigger disaster than
when Peter did Tara Reid's boob job.

311
00:16:57,048 --> 00:16:58,688
Dropped some pepperoni on there.

312
00:16:59,048 --> 00:17:00,528
You know what? That works. Sew it up.

313
00:17:02,368 --> 00:17:04,248
Michael was one of our brothers.

314
00:17:04,328 --> 00:17:07,008
He was a good man. He was a kind man.

315
00:17:07,648 --> 00:17:10,168
- He was a fat man.
- And now he's a dead man.

316
00:17:10,288 --> 00:17:13,408
And we're all next.
The Fat Guy Strangler's gonna get us.

317
00:17:13,528 --> 00:17:14,568
- He's right.
- Oh, my God.

318
00:17:14,648 --> 00:17:16,024
- We're finished.
- Will someone tie my shoe?

319
00:17:16,048 --> 00:17:18,288
People, people!
I know what will make us feel better.

320
00:17:18,368 --> 00:17:21,248
Let us sing the NAAFP anthem.

321
00:18:26,927 --> 00:18:28,863
All right, everybody,
just make yourselves at home.

322
00:18:28,887 --> 00:18:31,127
Lois, these are the fat guys.
Fat guys, Lois.

323
00:18:31,207 --> 00:18:33,207
My God, look at you fat bastards.

324
00:18:33,287 --> 00:18:35,447
I bet none of you can even find
your own penis.

325
00:18:35,567 --> 00:18:38,007
Find your penis for a dollar.
Find your penis, one dollar.

326
00:18:38,127 --> 00:18:40,247
One dollar, find your penis.
Find your penis here.

327
00:18:40,327 --> 00:18:41,727
Peter, what's going on?

328
00:18:41,807 --> 00:18:43,407
Lois, my people are in danger.

329
00:18:43,487 --> 00:18:46,126
Until they find the Fat Guy Strangler,
we will stay...

330
00:18:46,206 --> 00:18:47,486
Victor, don't lean against that.

331
00:18:48,486 --> 00:18:49,526
Hey, everybody.

332
00:18:49,606 --> 00:18:51,326
Peter, you gotta get
these guys out of here.

333
00:18:51,366 --> 00:18:53,166
- Patrick is the murderer.
- What?

334
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:55,526
You son of a bitch!

335
00:18:55,646 --> 00:18:58,486
Don't listen to Brian.
He doesn't know what he's talking about.

336
00:18:58,566 --> 00:19:00,726
Out of my way, Lois. Your brother is toast.

337
00:19:00,806 --> 00:19:02,486
Warm buttery toast!

338
00:19:03,806 --> 00:19:05,526
- That sounds good.
- I love toast.

339
00:19:05,606 --> 00:19:08,006
- I just found my penis.
- Run, Patrick, run!

340
00:19:08,126 --> 00:19:09,366
After him!

341
00:19:11,246 --> 00:19:12,846
Boys, to your Rascals!

342
00:19:20,206 --> 00:19:22,446
He went into James Woods.
Let's spread out and find him.

343
00:19:22,526 --> 00:19:23,966
We'll head him off at the...

344
00:19:25,726 --> 00:19:27,246
Todd, man, you got to chew your food.

345
00:19:29,406 --> 00:19:32,566
Brian, I know my brother.
He couldn't have done these things.

346
00:19:32,646 --> 00:19:35,126
Well, let's see if you feel that way
when you see this.

347
00:19:36,486 --> 00:19:37,526
Look.

348
00:19:43,246 --> 00:19:46,046
So he has pictures of himself
strangling fat guys.

349
00:19:46,166 --> 00:19:48,286
That doesn't mean
he's the Fat Guy Strangler.

350
00:19:48,406 --> 00:19:50,485
Oh, yeah? What about
the dead fat guy under his bed?

351
00:19:50,605 --> 00:19:51,645
Coincidence?

352
00:19:51,765 --> 00:19:53,765
What about the half-dead fat guy
in the corner?

353
00:19:53,885 --> 00:19:54,885
Patrick tried to kill me.

354
00:19:54,925 --> 00:19:57,365
- Well, maybe it's a different Patrick.
- Lois!

355
00:19:57,445 --> 00:19:59,845
Okay, okay. Oh, my God!

356
00:19:59,965 --> 00:20:01,805
- Peter's out there with him!
- Wait!

357
00:20:02,205 --> 00:20:03,605
You gonna eat that dead fat guy?

358
00:20:05,605 --> 00:20:07,205
How are we gonna find them?

359
00:20:07,325 --> 00:20:08,981
Don't worry, Lois.
I'm good at finding people.

360
00:20:09,005 --> 00:20:11,285
I was the one who found Bush
after Hurricane Katrina.

361
00:20:13,245 --> 00:20:15,725
- Mr. President, are you up there?
- Go away!

362
00:20:15,805 --> 00:20:18,765
<i>- Sir, there's a disaster in New Orleans.
- I'm reading Superfudge.</i>

363
00:20:18,845 --> 00:20:21,525
- You got to come down and deal with this.
- Don't make me do stuff.

364
00:20:22,285 --> 00:20:24,685
Patrick? Patrick!

365
00:20:25,045 --> 00:20:26,725
Crap! Guess we lost him.

366
00:20:26,845 --> 00:20:29,685
Well, nothing left to do
but finish this sentence uninterrupt...

367
00:20:33,125 --> 00:20:36,125
- Patrick, let him go!
- Don't come any closer!

368
00:20:36,245 --> 00:20:40,045
Patrick, let him go or Marian gets it.

369
00:20:40,165 --> 00:20:42,805
Nice try. But Marian's over there.

370
00:20:44,325 --> 00:20:46,045
Don't hurt her!

371
00:20:47,565 --> 00:20:49,965
- Now, let him go!
- Okay! Okay!

372
00:20:51,245 --> 00:20:52,725
- You missed!
- No, I didn't.

373
00:20:52,845 --> 00:20:56,244
That's for rolling up the damn window
when I tried to jump into the General Lee.

374
00:20:56,764 --> 00:21:00,044
I'm sorry, Lois.
I never meant to hurt anybody.

375
00:21:00,604 --> 00:21:04,124
I mean, I did mean to kill those fat guys,
but I never meant to hurt you.

376
00:21:04,244 --> 00:21:07,084
You may be very sick, Patrick,
but I love you.

377
00:21:07,244 --> 00:21:09,924
You're my brother
and you'll always be my brother.

378
00:21:10,044 --> 00:21:12,404
I have to go back to the hospital, don't I?

379
00:21:12,524 --> 00:21:14,044
Yeah. I'm afraid so.

380
00:21:14,164 --> 00:21:16,484
Hey, Patrick. Did you see
how that rock hit me in the face?

381
00:21:16,564 --> 00:21:18,324
It was like, pow, right in the kisser!

382
00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:19,564
Pow, right in the kisser!

383
00:21:19,684 --> 00:21:20,684
Pow, right in the kisser!

384
00:21:21,724 --> 00:21:24,164
Stop screaming, you can't hear me.
Pow, right in the kisser!

385
00:21:24,284 --> 00:21:25,284
Pow, right in the kisser!

386
00:21:25,404 --> 00:21:26,404
Pow, right in the kisser!

387
00:21:28,964 --> 00:21:30,164
I miss Uncle Patrick.

388
00:21:30,244 --> 00:21:33,284
Don't worry, kids.
I promise we can visit him once a month.

389
00:21:33,404 --> 00:21:35,044
We'll be his period.

390
00:21:35,724 --> 00:21:40,364
I was just upstairs and there's
a half-dead fat guy eating a dead fat guy.

391
00:21:42,684 --> 00:21:44,604
So I guess we're just looking
the other way, huh?