1 00:00:33,407 --> 00:00:36,166 I am so bored. 2 00:00:36,326 --> 00:00:38,965 Hey, dog, when you take a break from re-applying your lipstick, 3 00:00:39,045 --> 00:00:41,484 - how about taking me to the park? - My lipstick? What? 4 00:00:43,004 --> 00:00:46,523 Oh, right, right. Right, because of my penis. 5 00:00:46,643 --> 00:00:49,322 Yeah, that's fantastic. 6 00:00:49,522 --> 00:00:52,081 Lois, Brian won't take me to the park. 7 00:00:52,161 --> 00:00:54,560 Then he talked about his ding-dong. 8 00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:57,080 Lois. Lois! 9 00:00:57,159 --> 00:00:59,239 Damn it, woman! Pay attention to me! 10 00:00:59,479 --> 00:01:01,318 Stewie, that's not nice. 11 00:01:01,438 --> 00:01:04,477 Don't grab Mommy's pants like that. You could really hurt her. 12 00:01:04,597 --> 00:01:08,436 Yes. Yes, I could, couldn't I? I could hurt Mommy. 13 00:01:08,516 --> 00:01:11,155 Shame on us, Rupert. How dare we succumb to boredom 14 00:01:11,275 --> 00:01:13,434 while that wretched woman continues to breathe? 15 00:01:13,554 --> 00:01:16,313 She must be destroyed. With Lois out of the way, 16 00:01:16,393 --> 00:01:19,872 I could finally focus on my life's ambition of taking pictures of Madison County. 17 00:01:22,431 --> 00:01:24,111 Let's go back and take a bath. 18 00:01:24,231 --> 00:01:26,070 Yeah. How about you go back and take a bath? 19 00:01:30,309 --> 00:01:32,428 Griffin, have you filed those shipping reports yet? 20 00:01:32,508 --> 00:01:34,228 Angela, Angela, come here. Check this out. 21 00:01:34,348 --> 00:01:36,707 Look at what this chick is doing to this polar bear. 22 00:01:36,787 --> 00:01:38,466 Wait, wait... 23 00:01:38,986 --> 00:01:41,745 Wait, wait, wait. It's coming up. 24 00:01:44,904 --> 00:01:46,224 There you are, Opie. 25 00:01:46,304 --> 00:01:49,223 Congratulations. You made Employee of the Month again. 26 00:01:51,542 --> 00:01:53,422 How come I'm never Employee of the Month? 27 00:01:53,542 --> 00:01:55,141 Man, this is the worst job I've had 28 00:01:55,221 --> 00:01:57,620 since I was the conductor for the Sand People choir. 29 00:01:57,740 --> 00:01:59,140 And a one and a two. 30 00:02:03,139 --> 00:02:05,818 No, no, no, no! The altos were early. 31 00:02:05,898 --> 00:02:07,817 This is the worst glee club I've ever... 32 00:02:07,937 --> 00:02:09,457 Come on. Where are you going? 33 00:02:09,577 --> 00:02:11,536 - The benefit's tomorrow! - Relax. 34 00:02:11,656 --> 00:02:13,975 The Sand People frighten easily but they'll be back. 35 00:02:14,055 --> 00:02:15,175 And in greater numbers. 36 00:02:15,295 --> 00:02:16,830 Well, that'll give us a richer harmony. 37 00:02:16,854 --> 00:02:18,534 Oh, yeah. No, it's gonna sound fantastic. 38 00:02:30,810 --> 00:02:32,969 Help! Somebody! I'm blacking out. 39 00:02:34,689 --> 00:02:35,888 Brian, help me. 40 00:02:48,444 --> 00:02:50,963 That jerk, Opie, got Employee of the Month again. 41 00:02:51,083 --> 00:02:52,563 All because my boss hates me. 42 00:02:52,643 --> 00:02:55,602 Maybe you need to brown-nose her a little bit, Peter. 43 00:02:55,722 --> 00:02:57,441 Really? I thought you said she was ugly. 44 00:02:57,561 --> 00:02:59,281 Oh, you mean kiss up to her. 45 00:02:59,361 --> 00:03:00,800 That's a great idea, Joe. 46 00:03:00,920 --> 00:03:04,759 And if that doesn't do it, you could always just work hard and be polite. 47 00:03:04,879 --> 00:03:07,558 That's how I won friends when I worked for E! 48 00:03:07,758 --> 00:03:11,637 Seabiscuit! Seabiscuit! Would you mind talking to E!? 49 00:03:11,757 --> 00:03:14,196 I'm not Seabiscuit. I'm Penelope Cruz. 50 00:03:14,316 --> 00:03:17,755 And you're just lovely. Would you like a carrot? 51 00:03:20,994 --> 00:03:22,194 Good girl. 52 00:03:22,473 --> 00:03:26,032 Brown-nose, huh? All right. I'll do something special for her. 53 00:03:31,271 --> 00:03:32,310 Surprise! 54 00:03:32,430 --> 00:03:34,630 Griffin, what the hell are you doing at my house? 55 00:03:34,710 --> 00:03:37,430 Well, I asked around the office and everybody said you liked animals, 56 00:03:37,509 --> 00:03:39,588 so I organized a surprise cockfight. 57 00:03:42,227 --> 00:03:45,666 Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, God. 58 00:03:46,746 --> 00:03:49,345 Well, looks like they killed each other. 59 00:03:50,505 --> 00:03:53,624 That's probably what all that racket was about an hour ago. 60 00:03:54,543 --> 00:03:56,943 Well, I will see you Monday. 61 00:04:05,940 --> 00:04:07,219 Oh, crap. 62 00:04:08,219 --> 00:04:12,218 Well, looks like the good Lord just sent me a conversation starter. 63 00:04:12,298 --> 00:04:14,777 Come here, Jesse. Come get the ball. 64 00:04:35,970 --> 00:04:37,530 How unfortunate. 65 00:04:37,650 --> 00:04:40,689 Miss Hobson, Stewie's really been acting out a lot at home. 66 00:04:40,769 --> 00:04:43,888 And I was just wondering, how's he been behaving at school? 67 00:04:44,408 --> 00:04:48,046 Mrs. Griffin, let me show you some pictures he drew in class. 68 00:04:53,005 --> 00:04:55,764 - Notice anything unusual? - I sure do. 69 00:04:55,844 --> 00:04:58,323 - His father's not in any of them. - Exactly. 70 00:04:58,443 --> 00:05:01,682 Well, Peter's been very preoccupied with work lately. 71 00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:05,761 I guess Stewie's been missing his father. Thank you for letting me know. 72 00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:08,680 Damn! She moved. 73 00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:11,879 Well, I suppose it's not the first time someone's made a miscalculation. 74 00:05:16,357 --> 00:05:17,957 What happens to us in the future, Doc? 75 00:05:18,077 --> 00:05:20,756 It's your kids, Marty. Something's gotta be done about your kids. 76 00:05:20,876 --> 00:05:23,115 - What do you mean? - Your daughter marries a black man. 77 00:05:24,235 --> 00:05:27,194 - That's actually not a big deal for me. - Yeah, me neither. 78 00:05:28,074 --> 00:05:30,833 Well, it... Well, it... You... Really? 79 00:05:30,953 --> 00:05:32,992 Yeah. I mean, what's wrong with that? 80 00:05:33,112 --> 00:05:36,911 No, no, nothing, nothing. It's nothing, I guess. I think it's great. 81 00:05:37,031 --> 00:05:38,430 Congratulations. 82 00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:40,526 I don't think I'm comfortable around you anymore. 83 00:05:40,550 --> 00:05:42,789 Did you know peanut butter was invented by a black man? 84 00:05:42,909 --> 00:05:43,909 Too late, Doc. 85 00:05:48,867 --> 00:05:50,947 Hi, Herbert. What brings you here? 86 00:05:51,066 --> 00:05:54,785 It seems your son's baseball broke one of my windows the other day. 87 00:05:54,905 --> 00:05:57,344 Oh, my God. I am so sorry. 88 00:05:57,464 --> 00:06:00,024 Chris, this is gonna come out of your allowance. 89 00:06:00,703 --> 00:06:02,703 Perhaps we could work something out. 90 00:06:02,783 --> 00:06:06,742 I could use a strapping young man to do some chores around my house. 91 00:06:06,821 --> 00:06:08,061 That seems fair to me. 92 00:06:08,181 --> 00:06:10,260 Chris, you have damaged this man's property. 93 00:06:10,380 --> 00:06:13,539 And until you pay off the debt, you'll do whatever job he wants you to do. 94 00:06:13,659 --> 00:06:15,435 And at the end of the day, if you're exhausted 95 00:06:15,459 --> 00:06:18,498 and your face is dripping wet, well, that just means you did a good job. 96 00:06:18,618 --> 00:06:20,137 That sounds fine. 97 00:06:20,417 --> 00:06:23,176 I don't want to spend my weekend doing chores. 98 00:06:23,256 --> 00:06:25,456 You know, Chris, a little hard work can do wonders. 99 00:06:25,576 --> 00:06:27,415 Just look at how they built the pyramids. 100 00:06:27,535 --> 00:06:30,294 They say all peoples must go through some hard times. 101 00:06:30,374 --> 00:06:32,693 Well, we Jews are getting ours out of the way early. 102 00:06:32,773 --> 00:06:36,052 From here on out, it's gonna be nothing but smooth sailing. 103 00:06:38,451 --> 00:06:39,811 I have an announcement to make. 104 00:06:39,891 --> 00:06:42,770 Don't you do it. Don't you lose a single pound. 105 00:06:42,890 --> 00:06:45,129 I don't care what those Hollywood image-makers say. 106 00:06:45,209 --> 00:06:46,249 Big women are sexy. 107 00:06:46,369 --> 00:06:47,369 I wanted to tell you 108 00:06:47,409 --> 00:06:50,288 that Opie will not be receiving Employee of the Month, 109 00:06:50,368 --> 00:06:51,847 because he's being promoted. 110 00:06:51,967 --> 00:06:54,206 Oh, yes! That means I'm Employee of the Month. 111 00:06:54,286 --> 00:06:57,405 No, you're not, Griffin. I'm giving it to Soundwave. 112 00:06:57,485 --> 00:06:59,885 So, I can just put my stuff anywhere? 113 00:07:03,004 --> 00:07:05,923 My wife, Denise. We met in a Christian chat room. 114 00:07:08,482 --> 00:07:12,481 - Peter, we need to talk about your son. - The fat one or the funny-looking one? 115 00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:15,040 Dad called you fat. 116 00:07:15,360 --> 00:07:16,360 Wait. 117 00:07:16,479 --> 00:07:18,079 Stewie's really been acting out lately. 118 00:07:18,159 --> 00:07:20,679 And, I think it's 'cause he's not spending enough time with you. 119 00:07:20,758 --> 00:07:22,877 It's time that you take an interest in your son. 120 00:07:22,957 --> 00:07:26,036 Starting today, I want you to spend more time with Stewie. 121 00:07:26,396 --> 00:07:27,436 Okay. 122 00:07:27,556 --> 00:07:29,075 You can make a box fort. 123 00:07:29,155 --> 00:07:31,475 See? Here's a box. You can pretend it's a fort. 124 00:07:31,555 --> 00:07:33,754 Actually, that sounds like fun. I want this. 125 00:07:33,834 --> 00:07:35,673 I'm king in here. 126 00:07:35,833 --> 00:07:38,792 Peter, maybe Stewie would like to play fort, too. 127 00:07:38,912 --> 00:07:41,871 No! If you need me, I'll be in space. 128 00:07:46,190 --> 00:07:48,269 Great idea bringing Stewie to Fenway Park, Peter. 129 00:07:48,349 --> 00:07:50,549 Yeah. There's no better place for a father and son 130 00:07:50,629 --> 00:07:52,868 to really get to know each other than a ballgame. 131 00:07:52,988 --> 00:07:54,068 Where is Stewie? 132 00:07:57,386 --> 00:07:58,866 Is that a baby in there? 133 00:07:58,946 --> 00:08:01,425 Oh, my God! He's gonna miss the game. 134 00:08:03,545 --> 00:08:05,784 Hey, you guys. You remember those hot homeless twins 135 00:08:05,904 --> 00:08:07,864 who live under the overpass? Well, last night I... 136 00:08:07,983 --> 00:08:10,342 Wait, wait, Quagmire. Let me cover Stewie's ears. 137 00:08:23,818 --> 00:08:26,457 And this is the hand that caused all the trouble. 138 00:08:26,817 --> 00:08:28,457 Got your nose, little guy. 139 00:08:32,935 --> 00:08:37,014 Peter, did you take Stewie to a strip club? He smells like sweat and fear. 140 00:08:37,134 --> 00:08:40,733 Let me tell you, Tuesday afternoon is not exactly their A squad. 141 00:08:40,813 --> 00:08:42,452 I actually saw bullet wounds. 142 00:08:42,572 --> 00:08:45,611 You can't just take him places you want to go. He's a baby. 143 00:08:45,731 --> 00:08:48,890 Look, Lois, I think I know how to spend time with my own kid, all right? 144 00:08:48,970 --> 00:08:51,129 The bond between a father and son is sacred. 145 00:08:53,289 --> 00:08:55,968 I'm sorry, Jesus. But my house, my rules. 146 00:08:56,088 --> 00:08:58,647 Up yours, Joseph. You're not my real dad. 147 00:09:01,686 --> 00:09:03,805 - Hello? - Hey, Dad, it's me. 148 00:09:03,965 --> 00:09:06,645 Listen, things here aren't working out anymore. 149 00:09:06,725 --> 00:09:08,020 And I was just... I was wondering, 150 00:09:08,044 --> 00:09:10,403 can I come live with you and Janet for a while? 151 00:09:10,523 --> 00:09:13,083 Wow, kiddo. You know, I'd love that, 152 00:09:13,163 --> 00:09:16,401 but I don't know if now is the best time. Maybe next year, okay? 153 00:09:16,481 --> 00:09:19,441 I'll see you Friday night. Tell your mother I sent the check. 154 00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:22,360 - So, where were we? - Right about here. 155 00:09:23,279 --> 00:09:26,758 - Come on, baby, it's my birthday. - No. 156 00:09:26,878 --> 00:09:29,557 All I'm saying is that you just need to find an activity 157 00:09:29,637 --> 00:09:31,717 that you and Stewie can share. 158 00:09:31,837 --> 00:09:34,316 Peter, can you reach that box of rice? 159 00:09:34,836 --> 00:09:36,315 Oh, sorry, Lois. 160 00:09:37,915 --> 00:09:39,674 That rice got you, bitch. 161 00:09:40,794 --> 00:09:42,033 Hey, Stewie's laughing. 162 00:09:42,153 --> 00:09:44,033 Hey, you think that's funny? Hey, you like that? 163 00:09:44,113 --> 00:09:46,592 Hey, Lois, you want some beans with that rice? 164 00:09:47,912 --> 00:09:49,551 I misjudged you, fat man. 165 00:09:49,631 --> 00:09:51,270 Damn it. Peter, what's wrong with you? 166 00:09:51,350 --> 00:09:53,750 Wait, Lois, Lois, don't move. Stewie's loving this. 167 00:09:55,509 --> 00:09:57,189 See if she's got any cash on her. 168 00:10:00,947 --> 00:10:02,987 Okay, Stewie, get the camera ready. 169 00:10:05,906 --> 00:10:07,145 Peter, stop it! 170 00:10:07,225 --> 00:10:09,065 What the hell are you doing? 171 00:10:09,145 --> 00:10:11,424 What do you think I'm doing? I'm bonding with Stewie. 172 00:10:19,182 --> 00:10:22,181 There is nothing more precious than a baby's laughter. 173 00:11:09,206 --> 00:11:11,765 - Jeez, I hope she can get out. - I'm sure she'll be fine. 174 00:11:14,244 --> 00:11:15,844 Well, hello there, young man. 175 00:11:15,964 --> 00:11:18,203 I was starting to think you weren't coming. 176 00:11:18,323 --> 00:11:20,242 Sorry I'm late, Mr. Herbert. 177 00:11:20,322 --> 00:11:22,082 Well, I guess I'll get started. 178 00:11:22,202 --> 00:11:24,921 You know, if you get sweaty and want to take your shirt off, 179 00:11:25,041 --> 00:11:26,440 that'd be just fine. 180 00:11:26,560 --> 00:11:28,760 Or tie it in a knot, your choice. 181 00:11:32,678 --> 00:11:36,037 We now go live to Ollie Williams in the Channel Five traffic copter. 182 00:11:36,117 --> 00:11:38,133 - What's the scene, Ollie? - Everybody looks like ants! 183 00:11:38,157 --> 00:11:39,452 Probably because you're up so high. 184 00:11:39,476 --> 00:11:42,635 Coming up next, an exclusive interview with Andrew Shue. 185 00:11:42,755 --> 00:11:45,074 Hey, hey, Dad, Dad, pull my finger. 186 00:11:45,714 --> 00:11:49,513 Wait... Sounded like a peep toad. But it's not summer. 187 00:11:51,912 --> 00:11:54,751 Hey, drippy. You're back. What's for dinner? 188 00:11:54,831 --> 00:11:58,670 Peter, when I said bond with Stewie, this is not what I had in mind. 189 00:11:58,830 --> 00:12:02,149 - I am furious with you! - You can't talk to him like that. 190 00:12:03,469 --> 00:12:04,708 Take that! 191 00:12:05,428 --> 00:12:08,827 - Stewie, you're going to your room. - I think not, Dad's got my back. 192 00:12:08,907 --> 00:12:11,306 Stewie, she looks mad. You better go to your room. 193 00:12:11,386 --> 00:12:14,665 What's the matter with you, fat man? Stop her. Help me, you fool. 194 00:12:14,785 --> 00:12:17,824 You traitor. I trusted you but you're a wuss! 195 00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:19,544 Don't feel bad, Peter. 196 00:12:19,623 --> 00:12:21,303 Hey, I know what'll cheer you up. 197 00:12:21,383 --> 00:12:24,182 - No, I don't think I'm in the mood. - Are you sure? 198 00:12:41,537 --> 00:12:44,056 Sorry, Brian. It's just not doing it today. 199 00:12:57,891 --> 00:13:00,371 Hey, Stewie. You got a minute for your daddy? 200 00:13:00,451 --> 00:13:02,250 Get out of here, you spineless oaf! 201 00:13:02,330 --> 00:13:05,209 Oh, and by the way, I faked all those bowel movements. 202 00:13:05,529 --> 00:13:06,769 Brian, I feel awful. 203 00:13:06,889 --> 00:13:09,688 Stewie and I were getting along so good and now he hates me. 204 00:13:09,808 --> 00:13:12,089 - How do I get him to like me again? - Well, that depends. 205 00:13:12,127 --> 00:13:15,206 Do you really want my advice or are you just asking random questions again? 206 00:13:15,286 --> 00:13:16,446 What's a hypotenuse? 207 00:13:18,525 --> 00:13:20,500 Stewie, I know you're a little mad at me right now. 208 00:13:20,524 --> 00:13:23,363 But, when you see where I'm taking you, you're gonna change your mind. 209 00:13:23,443 --> 00:13:25,443 Yeah, right. I'm gonna change my mind. 210 00:13:25,523 --> 00:13:29,721 We just sat on a plane for three hours to come to Florida, God's waiting room, 211 00:13:29,841 --> 00:13:31,001 for who knows what... 212 00:13:33,120 --> 00:13:35,360 Disney World! Disney World! Disney World! 213 00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:38,439 I want to go to Disney World! Disney World! Disney World! 214 00:13:39,998 --> 00:13:41,438 I'm still mad at you. 215 00:13:48,715 --> 00:13:51,314 Hey, check it out, Stewie. Halle Berry's Wild Ride. 216 00:14:02,471 --> 00:14:05,550 Wow! It looks like Michael Jackson's coming right at me. 217 00:14:07,749 --> 00:14:11,468 I say, we've been puttering around this fat farm for hours. I've had enough. 218 00:14:11,868 --> 00:14:13,787 Hey, Stewie, they got... Stewie? 219 00:14:14,267 --> 00:14:17,626 Oh, my God, he's gone. Has anyone seen my son? Hello? 220 00:14:17,746 --> 00:14:19,506 Hey, it's the crows from Dumbo. 221 00:14:19,586 --> 00:14:20,865 Hey, you guys seen my son? 222 00:14:20,985 --> 00:14:25,584 Well, I done seen about everything but I sure enough ain't seen your boy, no how! 223 00:14:25,864 --> 00:14:28,303 That's good old-fashioned family racism. 224 00:14:34,821 --> 00:14:39,219 Well, well, a lost child. Looks like we've got a new recruit. 225 00:14:41,779 --> 00:14:43,938 - Now sing. - I shall do no such thing. 226 00:14:44,058 --> 00:14:45,097 You must sing. 227 00:14:45,177 --> 00:14:49,016 If you don't, they'll make you do a Christmas movie with Tim Allen. 228 00:14:56,734 --> 00:14:59,413 Is Chris still doing chores for that disgusting old man? 229 00:14:59,533 --> 00:15:01,132 Meg, that's not nice. 230 00:15:01,212 --> 00:15:04,691 Old people have a lot to offer society. Just look at Kim Catrall. 231 00:15:05,731 --> 00:15:07,650 Come and get it, big boy. 232 00:15:09,130 --> 00:15:10,170 Oh, damn. 233 00:15:13,648 --> 00:15:15,368 There we go. 234 00:15:21,166 --> 00:15:23,165 Thanks for buying me dinner, Mr. Herbert. 235 00:15:23,245 --> 00:15:26,244 I wanted to thank you properly for all your hard work. 236 00:15:26,364 --> 00:15:28,804 - Souvenir photograph? - Hell, yes. 237 00:17:35,603 --> 00:17:36,883 Are you dead? 238 00:17:51,838 --> 00:17:53,798 I say, fat man. Get me out of here. 239 00:17:53,918 --> 00:17:57,357 Stewie, there you are. Thank God. Why are you dressed like Rerun? 240 00:18:00,396 --> 00:18:04,114 You're free, children. Run back to your individual countries of origin. 241 00:18:04,194 --> 00:18:05,234 Hey! 242 00:18:05,394 --> 00:18:08,473 Those multi-cultural slave children belong to the Disney Corporation. 243 00:18:08,593 --> 00:18:09,873 Get them, Achmed. 244 00:18:12,272 --> 00:18:14,631 Hey, look over there. There's a woman learning. 245 00:18:23,548 --> 00:18:24,708 Quick, in here. 246 00:18:59,817 --> 00:19:01,616 Looks like we're in the clear. 247 00:19:02,136 --> 00:19:04,295 - Michael Eisner. - Cover your heart. 248 00:19:04,415 --> 00:19:06,615 Kali Ma! 249 00:19:06,775 --> 00:19:08,694 Kali Ma! 250 00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:11,333 Kali Ma! 251 00:19:11,453 --> 00:19:13,253 You betrayed the shareholders. 252 00:19:22,770 --> 00:19:23,770 You think he's dead? 253 00:19:23,889 --> 00:19:25,729 No, no. He'll be back on his feet in no time, 254 00:19:25,849 --> 00:19:27,689 probably follow in Jonathan Dolgen's footsteps, 255 00:19:27,768 --> 00:19:29,527 wind up with a pod deal over at Touchstone. 256 00:19:29,607 --> 00:19:31,087 You all right, Stewie? 257 00:19:31,167 --> 00:19:32,407 You know what, fat man? 258 00:19:32,487 --> 00:19:34,886 I'm not sure how to say this without sounding cheesy, 259 00:19:35,006 --> 00:19:38,165 but, well, you really came through for me today. So I... 260 00:19:39,644 --> 00:19:40,884 What the hell. 261 00:19:41,324 --> 00:19:45,682 I love you, too, buddy. Come on, Stewie. Let's go home. 262 00:19:46,402 --> 00:19:49,561 Florida. Just think, somewhere in this state right now, 263 00:19:49,881 --> 00:19:52,360 Jeb Bush is eating a live puppy. 264 00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:58,678 Well, Jesse, I guess we got to find some other way to spend our evenings. 265 00:19:59,158 --> 00:20:01,677 And now back to ESPN's exclusive coverage 266 00:20:01,797 --> 00:20:03,437 of the Little League World Series. 267 00:20:03,557 --> 00:20:05,196 Oh, jackpot!