1
00:00:34,932 --> 00:00:37,680
- A-Team roll call. Face.
- Here and handsome.
2
00:00:37,779 --> 00:00:40,363
- Murdoch?
- Here and crazy.
3
00:00:40,466 --> 00:00:42,221
- B. A?
- I pity the fool.
4
00:00:42,321 --> 00:00:45,167
But I also suggest ways
he may better himself.
5
00:00:45,263 --> 00:00:46,888
Man, this is gonna be a fun day.
6
00:00:46,991 --> 00:00:50,251
Much better than that day
I tried Tag body spray for sick cats.
7
00:00:54,474 --> 00:00:56,164
Oh, God.
8
00:00:56,266 --> 00:00:58,337
Oh, God. Oh, no.
9
00:00:58,441 --> 00:01:00,644
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
10
00:01:01,575 --> 00:01:05,348
Oh, no, no, no. Oh, no.
You're cute. You're cute.
11
00:01:05,445 --> 00:01:07,451
I don't want to pet you, though.
12
00:01:08,740 --> 00:01:10,146
Oh, all right.
13
00:01:12,130 --> 00:01:14,017
What are you gonna do?
What are you gonna do?
14
00:01:15,265 --> 00:01:18,078
Oh, no! Okay. No, yeah, no.
This spray is not for me.
15
00:01:21,022 --> 00:01:22,679
Brian, what are you doing here?
16
00:01:22,781 --> 00:01:25,332
- Yeah. You look just like Alf.
- Peter, I'm not Alf.
17
00:01:25,435 --> 00:01:27,138
Actually, I'm Douglas Brackman
from L. A. Law,
18
00:01:27,162 --> 00:01:29,794
but I'm really here to write an article
on the convention for the Daily Shopper.
19
00:01:29,818 --> 00:01:32,664
Well, you'll have a lot to write about
after we win the costume contest.
20
00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:34,733
Hey, check it out. Bill Cosby aerobics.
21
00:01:41,139 --> 00:01:44,367
Okay, everyone. Alan Thicke will be up
in a minute to answer your hate mail.
22
00:01:44,466 --> 00:01:46,986
But first, the winners
of this year's costume contest:
23
00:01:47,089 --> 00:01:49,390
The A-Team with the real black guy.
24
00:01:49,487 --> 00:01:52,006
- Sweet!
- All right! All right!
25
00:01:52,110 --> 00:01:54,476
Okay, you can stop
with that cigar now, Gary.
26
00:01:54,573 --> 00:01:56,481
My sinuses will thank you.
27
00:02:04,488 --> 00:02:06,723
Brian, I read your article
in the Daily Shopper.
28
00:02:06,823 --> 00:02:09,156
- It was wonderful.
- Don't oversell it, Lois.
29
00:02:09,254 --> 00:02:10,562
No, it was good.
30
00:02:10,661 --> 00:02:13,245
It almost felt like it was written
by a real writer.
31
00:02:13,348 --> 00:02:14,940
I read your article, too, Brian.
32
00:02:15,043 --> 00:02:17,225
It seems to me you should spend less time
working for the paper
33
00:02:17,249 --> 00:02:19,569
and more time working on that novel
you've been working on.
34
00:02:19,616 --> 00:02:20,616
You know...
35
00:02:21,888 --> 00:02:24,276
- This is Brian.
- Brian, this is Wellesley Shepherdson.
36
00:02:24,382 --> 00:02:27,544
I'm calling from The New Yorker.
Perhaps you've heard of us?
37
00:02:29,020 --> 00:02:30,480
Yeah, of course I've heard of you.
38
00:02:30,587 --> 00:02:33,487
I was using the Daily Shopper
to shoo away a homeless person,
39
00:02:33,594 --> 00:02:34,706
and I saw your article.
40
00:02:34,809 --> 00:02:37,143
We'd love to talk to you
about becoming a contributor.
41
00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:40,403
- Why don't you come by tomorrow?
- Wow! Yeah. That'd be great.
42
00:02:40,502 --> 00:02:42,028
All right. 2:00. I'll see you then.
43
00:02:42,134 --> 00:02:43,894
They want me to contribute
to The New Yorker.
44
00:02:43,957 --> 00:02:47,403
The New Yorker? You'll fit in there
as well as I did at Woodstock.
45
00:02:47,507 --> 00:02:49,545
Excuse me.
It's been brought to my attention
46
00:02:49,650 --> 00:02:52,877
that a few bad apples out there
are smoking marijuana.
47
00:02:52,976 --> 00:02:55,495
I've got news for you, my friend.
Marijuana's illegal.
48
00:02:56,654 --> 00:02:57,831
Not cool. All right then.
49
00:03:05,067 --> 00:03:06,593
- You suck!
- Learn the rules!
50
00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:12,003
And this is our writers' lounge where
you'll meet some of our contributors.
51
00:03:12,102 --> 00:03:13,989
- Fielding Wellingtonsworth.
- Hello.
52
00:03:14,086 --> 00:03:16,190
- Livingston Winstofford.
- Yes.
53
00:03:16,292 --> 00:03:19,225
- Amelia Bedford Furthington Chesterhill.
- Good day.
54
00:03:19,331 --> 00:03:21,152
And James William Bottomtooth.
55
00:03:23,042 --> 00:03:25,375
Everyone, this is Brian,
our newest contributor.
56
00:03:25,472 --> 00:03:26,780
Hi, there. How's it going?
57
00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:28,766
- Would you like some tea?
- Cigar?
58
00:03:28,862 --> 00:03:29,974
Brandy?
59
00:03:31,197 --> 00:03:34,294
- No. I'm good, thanks.
- We read your article, Brian.
60
00:03:34,396 --> 00:03:38,616
Your study in post-modern American
subcultures was quite illuminating.
61
00:03:38,713 --> 00:03:41,559
Oh, wow, thanks. That really
means a lot coming from you guys.
62
00:03:44,503 --> 00:03:45,517
I'm sorry?
63
00:03:49,205 --> 00:03:50,205
Yes?
64
00:03:54,865 --> 00:03:57,646
- Hey, is there a bathroom around here?
- Yes, yes. Follow me.
65
00:04:01,198 --> 00:04:02,198
Where are the toilets?
66
00:04:02,285 --> 00:04:04,194
Oh, no one at The New Yorker
has an anus.
67
00:04:07,051 --> 00:04:08,992
Peter, it's been two weeks.
68
00:04:09,099 --> 00:04:11,716
Don't you think it's time to take off
your A-Team costume?
69
00:04:11,817 --> 00:04:13,158
Yeah, I guess so.
70
00:04:13,256 --> 00:04:16,321
But part of me wished we could just be
the A-Team forever, you know?
71
00:04:17,063 --> 00:04:20,410
This damn chair keeps wobbling.
I think one of the legs is short.
72
00:04:20,516 --> 00:04:24,159
- Lance, I told you to fix that chair!
- I checked it earlier. It seems fine.
73
00:04:26,594 --> 00:04:29,276
Oh, that chair's always like that.
Here, we'll help you.
74
00:04:33,950 --> 00:04:35,094
Wow, thanks!
75
00:04:35,198 --> 00:04:37,913
Hey, if we could fix that wobbly chair,
76
00:04:38,012 --> 00:04:40,400
think of what else we could do
for our community.
77
00:04:40,507 --> 00:04:41,521
Cleveland's right.
78
00:04:41,626 --> 00:04:44,658
It seems it's our destiny
to be the A-Team after all.
79
00:04:45,848 --> 00:04:47,636
We're the A-Team! Yeah!
80
00:04:48,375 --> 00:04:52,268
In 2005, a group of local
misfits won a costume contest
81
00:04:52,373 --> 00:04:54,161
at an '80s TV convention.
82
00:04:54,260 --> 00:04:57,324
These men promptly returned home
and drank some beer.
83
00:04:57,427 --> 00:04:59,793
Today they survive as soldiers of fortune.
84
00:04:59,889 --> 00:05:02,408
If you have a problem,
if no one else can help,
85
00:05:02,512 --> 00:05:06,372
and if you can find them,
maybe you can hire The A-Team.
86
00:05:42,908 --> 00:05:45,656
So I said to him,
"Brown liquor before Labor Day?
87
00:05:45,755 --> 00:05:47,445
"What, do you work for Esquire? '"
88
00:05:48,538 --> 00:05:51,700
Oh, Brian, how droll!
We'll have to put that into a cartoon.
89
00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:54,548
Or as we call it,
an illustrated laughing square.
90
00:05:54,646 --> 00:05:56,020
Wow. You went to Harvard, huh?
91
00:05:56,117 --> 00:05:58,091
I'm an Ivy League man myself.
I went to Brown.
92
00:05:58,196 --> 00:06:01,610
My incarcerated business partner's
retarded gay niece went to Brown.
93
00:06:01,715 --> 00:06:05,291
- What year did you graduate?
- Well, I mean, I didn't technically graduate.
94
00:06:05,393 --> 00:06:07,661
You're a college dropout?
95
00:06:07,760 --> 00:06:10,279
Brian, The New Yorker
does not employ your kind.
96
00:06:10,382 --> 00:06:12,137
You, sir, are fired!
97
00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:28,062
Oh, Brian, I can't believe they fired you.
98
00:06:28,166 --> 00:06:30,499
How come you never told us
you dropped out of college?
99
00:06:30,597 --> 00:06:33,148
I saw an after-school special about that.
100
00:06:33,251 --> 00:06:35,966
It didn't work out too well
for Kristy McNichol.
101
00:06:36,065 --> 00:06:37,690
But then again, nothing did.
102
00:06:37,793 --> 00:06:41,914
I was only one course shy of graduating
and I just cracked under the pressure.
103
00:06:42,015 --> 00:06:44,316
And now it just cost me
the best job I ever had.
104
00:06:44,413 --> 00:06:47,641
Well, don't take it too hard.
You're not the first person to get fired.
105
00:06:47,740 --> 00:06:51,796
Look, Louis, the French people really want
to thank you for your services as king.
106
00:06:51,898 --> 00:06:55,824
But it's just not working out
and we've decided to go another way.
107
00:06:55,928 --> 00:06:56,928
So...
108
00:06:57,975 --> 00:06:59,120
Yeah.
109
00:06:59,254 --> 00:07:02,569
I just heard the dog got fired.
Did I miss it? Did he cry yet?
110
00:07:02,676 --> 00:07:05,740
Oh, come on, dog. Cry for me.
There, there you are.
111
00:07:05,843 --> 00:07:09,453
Oh, yeah. Cry for Stewie.
Life isn't what you thought it would be.
112
00:07:09,553 --> 00:07:12,780
Boy, I'll tell you, not graduating
from college has haunted me for years.
113
00:07:12,879 --> 00:07:16,739
But, Brian, if you only had one class left,
why don't you just go back and finish?
114
00:07:16,845 --> 00:07:19,910
- Plenty of people do that.
- You know, Lois, that's not a bad idea.
115
00:07:20,012 --> 00:07:22,694
Well, this is boring.
Let's go see what Meg is up to.
116
00:07:30,535 --> 00:07:31,811
Hello, Meg.
117
00:07:55,387 --> 00:07:57,026
Stewie? What the hell are you doing here?
118
00:07:57,050 --> 00:07:59,437
Are you kidding? I couldn't miss
watching you crash and burn
119
00:07:59,544 --> 00:08:01,518
in this misguided attempt
to finish college.
120
00:08:01,623 --> 00:08:02,702
Look, you're not staying.
121
00:08:02,807 --> 00:08:04,894
I'm gonna call Lois
and have her pick you up right now.
122
00:08:04,918 --> 00:08:09,007
Hi, I'm your roommate Caleb.
I like cutting myself. I bleed a lot.
123
00:08:09,107 --> 00:08:10,601
Could I have the top bunk?
124
00:08:10,995 --> 00:08:14,954
He already has a roommate. Me.
We're a couple of crazy college kooks.
125
00:08:15,056 --> 00:08:18,284
For example, we're about to make
a hilarious answering-machine message.
126
00:08:18,383 --> 00:08:21,283
You've reached Stewie and Brian.
We're not here right now.
127
00:08:21,390 --> 00:08:24,770
And if this is Mom, send money
because we're college students
128
00:08:24,876 --> 00:08:27,362
and we need money
for books and highlighters,
129
00:08:27,467 --> 00:08:29,288
and Ramen Noodles,
130
00:08:29,386 --> 00:08:33,312
and condoms for sexual relations
with our classmates.
131
00:08:36,550 --> 00:08:39,085
All right, fine. You can stay if you want.
But what do I tell Lois?
132
00:08:39,109 --> 00:08:42,074
You don't have to tell her anything.
Gary Coleman owed me a favor.
133
00:08:42,403 --> 00:08:44,769
Stewie, you want
some more strained peas?
134
00:08:44,866 --> 00:08:46,392
What you talking about, vile woman?
135
00:08:48,512 --> 00:08:50,421
There she is, boys. All done.
136
00:08:50,527 --> 00:08:54,355
The A-Team is ready to help
rid the world of injustice and evil.
137
00:08:55,005 --> 00:08:56,051
Yeah!
138
00:08:57,180 --> 00:08:59,251
- All right!
- Yeah!
139
00:09:12,020 --> 00:09:13,132
Let's do it!
140
00:09:22,256 --> 00:09:23,597
This is Advanced Physics, right?
141
00:09:24,814 --> 00:09:27,082
I have a right to defend myself
as a woman!
142
00:09:27,181 --> 00:09:28,424
No means no!
143
00:09:28,524 --> 00:09:30,912
- What the hell is wrong with you?
- I'm sorry.
144
00:09:31,019 --> 00:09:34,246
I just came from that orientation seminar
about college dating.
145
00:09:34,345 --> 00:09:37,955
Hi, I'm Kelly McGillis.
And I'm here to talk to you about rape.
146
00:09:38,056 --> 00:09:40,869
Ladies, look to your left.
Now look to your right.
147
00:09:40,966 --> 00:09:43,682
Statistics indicate
that both of those men will rape you.
148
00:09:45,188 --> 00:09:47,260
- I'm not gonna rape you.
- I might.
149
00:09:48,482 --> 00:09:50,369
Good morning, class.
150
00:09:50,465 --> 00:09:51,774
Hey, can I borrow a pencil?
151
00:09:51,873 --> 00:09:55,067
Now, now, it looks like
we have a comedian.
152
00:09:55,167 --> 00:09:57,141
I wasn't making a joke.
I was just asking...
153
00:09:57,246 --> 00:10:01,041
Now, Louie Anderson,
our first test is Friday.
154
00:10:01,148 --> 00:10:04,462
And if you don't pass,
you are not in the class.
155
00:10:06,586 --> 00:10:08,951
Fluffy! Fluffy, come down!
156
00:10:09,048 --> 00:10:11,381
Oh, Mommy, Daddy,
what are we gonna do?
157
00:10:14,166 --> 00:10:16,107
Don't you worry, sad little girl.
158
00:10:16,212 --> 00:10:18,633
The A-team
will get your beloved kitty down.
159
00:10:18,739 --> 00:10:19,884
Ready, boys?
160
00:10:32,077 --> 00:10:33,985
No need to thank us. It's what we do.
161
00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:36,000
Who the hell are you guys?
162
00:10:37,355 --> 00:10:38,630
We're the A-Team.
163
00:10:44,871 --> 00:10:45,983
Get off my property!
164
00:10:46,086 --> 00:10:47,907
Yeah, that's probably a good idea.
Let's go.
165
00:10:53,218 --> 00:10:54,265
What do you think?
166
00:10:54,370 --> 00:10:57,532
I got this at the school store.
It's an M.C. Escher drawing.
167
00:10:57,632 --> 00:11:00,119
I think it's called Crazy Stairs.
168
00:11:00,223 --> 00:11:01,983
Look, Stewie,
I got to finish this assignment
169
00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:03,735
or I'm gonna fail this class.
170
00:11:05,244 --> 00:11:06,487
- All done.
- What?
171
00:11:06,588 --> 00:11:08,562
Stewie, I can't use this. It'd be cheating.
172
00:11:08,667 --> 00:11:10,902
Fine. Listen, I'll be out on the quad.
173
00:11:11,001 --> 00:11:13,856
Do you know what I've discovered
about myself since I've been in college?
174
00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:16,780
I am so all about Ultimate Frisbee.
175
00:11:26,930 --> 00:11:29,416
Oh, no! Did that hit Crazy Stairs?
176
00:11:32,687 --> 00:11:34,791
I've graded your assignments.
177
00:11:34,893 --> 00:11:39,266
Clearly there is only one person here
who understands the material.
178
00:11:39,372 --> 00:11:40,833
Brian Griffin.
179
00:11:42,538 --> 00:11:44,261
Just got lucky, I guess.
180
00:11:44,361 --> 00:11:47,393
No, Brian. I underestimated you.
181
00:11:47,496 --> 00:11:50,756
Here, let me put a smiley face
on your test.
182
00:11:52,101 --> 00:11:54,042
May I borrow your pen?
183
00:11:54,627 --> 00:11:58,335
You... Do you want me
to just stick it in there?
184
00:11:58,434 --> 00:11:59,448
Yes.
185
00:12:07,677 --> 00:12:10,197
There. You have earned that.
186
00:12:19,032 --> 00:12:20,918
Hey, what's up, B-rie?
187
00:12:21,015 --> 00:12:23,381
Stewie, just give me a beer.
I've had a bad day.
188
00:12:24,917 --> 00:12:26,378
I cheated on that assignment.
189
00:12:26,484 --> 00:12:30,094
You know, I haven't taken a shower
since we got here. I totally reek, man.
190
00:12:30,194 --> 00:12:31,786
- Check this out.
- Come on!
191
00:12:31,890 --> 00:12:33,133
Tell me that's not epic.
192
00:12:33,233 --> 00:12:35,981
You know, I didn't come back to college
just to cheat my way through.
193
00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:37,486
I wanted to do it on my own.
194
00:12:37,583 --> 00:12:39,589
Will you relax? Plenty of people cheat.
195
00:12:39,694 --> 00:12:41,765
Once again, Ashlee Simpson.
196
00:13:04,098 --> 00:13:05,275
Oh, my God! Mom, look.
197
00:13:05,376 --> 00:13:07,856
They're tearing down Roger Williams Park
to build a strip mall.
198
00:13:07,936 --> 00:13:11,283
Oh, no. I take Stewie there all the time,
don't I, sweetie?
199
00:13:11,389 --> 00:13:13,145
Victory shall be mine.
200
00:13:13,245 --> 00:13:15,513
That's where I go to make out
with my boyfriend...
201
00:13:15,612 --> 00:13:18,294
Darren Mitchelstork.
202
00:13:18,682 --> 00:13:21,267
Yup, he's the chairman
203
00:13:21,369 --> 00:13:25,229
of the soccer ball team.
204
00:13:25,335 --> 00:13:26,578
Well, all right.
205
00:13:26,679 --> 00:13:30,059
Make sure you practice safe sex, Meg.
206
00:13:33,810 --> 00:13:35,403
You little liar!
207
00:13:35,506 --> 00:13:39,181
Roger Williams Park?
That sounds like a job for the A-Team.
208
00:13:41,967 --> 00:13:43,624
- Hi, Dad.
- Go to your room.
209
00:13:43,726 --> 00:13:44,870
Okay.
210
00:13:53,161 --> 00:13:54,305
Ah, Brian.
211
00:13:54,409 --> 00:13:58,237
I am glad you could come
to my faculty cocktail party.
212
00:13:58,343 --> 00:14:00,829
Let me introduce my wife Helen.
213
00:14:00,933 --> 00:14:05,154
Damn it, Steve. You forgot
to put out the cheese and crackers.
214
00:14:05,251 --> 00:14:08,992
Helen, don't start with me
in front of our guests.
215
00:14:11,392 --> 00:14:13,812
Do you think I like hitting you?
216
00:14:14,239 --> 00:14:16,627
I am sorry you had to see that.
217
00:14:16,734 --> 00:14:19,383
Look, sir, I really need to confess
something to you.
218
00:14:19,484 --> 00:14:22,385
- That assignment I turned in...
- You know, Brian,
219
00:14:22,491 --> 00:14:25,239
before you came along,
I was so depressed,
220
00:14:25,337 --> 00:14:27,670
I was planning to kill myself.
221
00:14:27,768 --> 00:14:29,742
But you have inspired me.
222
00:14:29,847 --> 00:14:33,740
If you can learn, maybe one day I can walk.
223
00:14:34,037 --> 00:14:36,425
Now, what was it you wanted to say?
224
00:14:37,907 --> 00:14:38,907
Nothing.
225
00:14:38,962 --> 00:14:42,757
You were supposed to get potato chips,
you jackass.
226
00:14:42,865 --> 00:14:47,172
Damn it, Helen.
Get the hell off my back or so help me.
227
00:14:47,279 --> 00:14:48,772
So help me.
228
00:14:49,198 --> 00:14:52,044
Don't worry.
I hear they have great makeup sex.
229
00:14:52,876 --> 00:14:54,947
- That feels so good.
- Oh, yeah.
230
00:14:55,051 --> 00:14:57,122
- Hello.
- Like that?
231
00:14:57,226 --> 00:14:58,654
Oh, baby.
232
00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:00,832
I thought about this all day.
233
00:15:04,613 --> 00:15:08,256
Not so fast. You are hurting me.
234
00:15:13,026 --> 00:15:15,675
- All right. All right.
- Stewie, come on. We're going home.
235
00:15:15,776 --> 00:15:17,269
What the devil are you talking about?
236
00:15:17,376 --> 00:15:18,652
My final exam is tomorrow
237
00:15:18,750 --> 00:15:20,604
and the only way I'm gonna pass
is if I cheat.
238
00:15:20,702 --> 00:15:23,221
And if I do that, what was the point
of coming back to college?
239
00:15:23,325 --> 00:15:26,487
We can't leave. It's almost halftime
and we all pooped in the tuba.
240
00:15:30,233 --> 00:15:31,345
Okay, we can go.
241
00:15:43,987 --> 00:15:46,352
Hey, what are you guys doing?
This is a job site.
242
00:15:46,449 --> 00:15:48,619
No, it's not! It's Roger Williams Park,
243
00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:51,272
and we're here to stop you
from destroying it.
244
00:15:51,374 --> 00:15:53,478
Whoa! Whoa!
What are you gonna do? Kill us?
245
00:15:54,157 --> 00:15:55,978
Oh, no, no. We wouldn't do that.
246
00:15:56,076 --> 00:15:59,370
We'll probably just shoot the ground
all around you to make you scared.
247
00:15:59,466 --> 00:16:01,298
And then you'll jump in your truck
and speed off,
248
00:16:01,322 --> 00:16:03,120
hit something and do a wicked flip
through the air.
249
00:16:03,144 --> 00:16:04,368
- Well, that'd kill us.
- No, no.
250
00:16:04,392 --> 00:16:06,952
You guys will just roll out of the vehicle,
and dust yourself off
251
00:16:07,015 --> 00:16:08,803
and lumber back to your hideout,
defeated.
252
00:16:08,902 --> 00:16:12,031
Buddy, I had a cousin got in
a fender bender at five miles an hour,
253
00:16:12,132 --> 00:16:14,335
messed his neck up,
he's got partial numbness.
254
00:16:14,435 --> 00:16:16,257
He's just not the same guy anymore.
255
00:16:16,354 --> 00:16:18,622
- Was he wearing his safety belt?
- Thank God.
256
00:16:18,721 --> 00:16:21,851
Yeah, 'cause, you know, I know this guy
who took his car in for an oil change.
257
00:16:21,952 --> 00:16:24,700
And then later he got in a wreck,
and the airbag didn't deploy.
258
00:16:24,798 --> 00:16:26,903
Turns out they stole it,
sold it for spare parts.
259
00:16:27,005 --> 00:16:28,499
- No way!
- It happens.
260
00:16:28,604 --> 00:16:31,898
They call them chop shops.
Makes it harder to track stolen parts.
261
00:16:31,994 --> 00:16:33,455
Jeez, that is awful.
262
00:16:34,009 --> 00:16:35,769
Well, look,
you guys got a lot of work to do.
263
00:16:35,801 --> 00:16:37,312
We should probably get out of your hair.
264
00:16:37,336 --> 00:16:38,709
Take it easy, guys.
265
00:16:39,350 --> 00:16:41,324
Don't forget
to put your tools away.
266
00:16:43,605 --> 00:16:46,254
- We blew it, didn't we?
- Boy, you can say that again.
267
00:16:46,356 --> 00:16:48,689
We were right there,
ready to save Roger Williams Park,
268
00:16:48,787 --> 00:16:50,924
and we got sidetracked
by idle conversation.
269
00:16:51,025 --> 00:16:52,715
We're a terrible A-Team.
270
00:16:52,816 --> 00:16:54,616
You know what the problem is?
We didn't stay focused.
271
00:16:54,640 --> 00:16:57,060
That's exactly it. I was gonna...
We didn't stay focused.
272
00:16:57,166 --> 00:16:59,816
I mean, we were right there, you know?
And then we just...
273
00:16:59,916 --> 00:17:02,087
Somehow we just... I mean...
274
00:17:02,924 --> 00:17:05,004
Well, it's already been said.
We didn't stay focused.
275
00:17:06,570 --> 00:17:08,478
And now back to The Facts of Life.
276
00:17:08,585 --> 00:17:10,406
Hey, Mrs. Garrett,
can I ask you something?
277
00:17:10,504 --> 00:17:11,780
What is it, Jo?
278
00:17:11,878 --> 00:17:14,659
Is it a problem if your penis
and your vagina touch each other?
279
00:17:14,757 --> 00:17:15,757
What?
280
00:17:15,812 --> 00:17:17,273
Well, I try to keep them separated,
281
00:17:17,380 --> 00:17:20,095
but I woke up this morning
and they were sort of together.
282
00:17:20,195 --> 00:17:21,852
I just didn't know. Is that okay?
283
00:17:21,954 --> 00:17:24,822
- You have both?
- Well, yeah. Doesn't everybody?
284
00:17:24,928 --> 00:17:26,172
No!
285
00:17:26,943 --> 00:17:30,138
- Brian, what are you doing home?
- I couldn't do it, Lois.
286
00:17:30,238 --> 00:17:32,408
You know, I thought
I'd be able to finish this time.
287
00:17:32,509 --> 00:17:35,541
But I just don't have what it takes
to be a college graduate.
288
00:17:35,643 --> 00:17:39,220
But you're so close.
I mean, your final exam's tomorrow.
289
00:17:39,321 --> 00:17:41,742
You can't just give up.
You could study tonight.
290
00:17:41,848 --> 00:17:45,392
- And I think if you really work at it...
- Lois, it's over. All right?
291
00:17:45,494 --> 00:17:48,111
- I'm not going.
- Well, whatever you say.
292
00:17:48,852 --> 00:17:50,826
Hey, what's in this closet?
293
00:17:51,412 --> 00:17:54,258
- What are you doing?
- Well, my, my!
294
00:17:54,353 --> 00:17:56,425
Mr. Hoover's come to visit.
295
00:17:56,528 --> 00:17:58,382
I don't want to see Mr. Hoover.
296
00:17:58,480 --> 00:18:01,294
I wonder if Mr. Hoover has anything to say
about all this?
297
00:18:01,390 --> 00:18:04,389
Lois, this is not funny.
I really don't want to see Mr...
298
00:18:05,612 --> 00:18:07,073
Stop! Stop it! Stop it!
299
00:18:07,179 --> 00:18:09,317
It's scaring me! Leave me alone!
300
00:18:09,802 --> 00:18:11,208
It's so loud!
301
00:18:11,658 --> 00:18:14,111
Stop! Stop it!
All right. Okay. I'll study!
302
00:18:14,216 --> 00:18:16,898
- I'll help you if you want.
- No, thanks, Lois.
303
00:18:16,999 --> 00:18:18,786
There's only one person who can help me.
304
00:18:47,096 --> 00:18:49,396
Drago!
305
00:18:53,205 --> 00:18:56,302
- You know the exam's in three hours?
- Crap! All we've done is work out.
306
00:18:56,403 --> 00:18:57,483
- We should study.
- Right.
307
00:19:00,433 --> 00:19:02,537
Peter, you're not wearing
your costume anymore.
308
00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:03,883
What's the point?
309
00:19:03,984 --> 00:19:07,113
You know, I thought I could help people
with this whole A-Team thing.
310
00:19:07,214 --> 00:19:11,238
But it turns out I'm as useless as that
nude Playboy spread of Debbie Gibson.
311
00:19:11,340 --> 00:19:13,891
It's like, yeah, she's naked
but who gives a shit?
312
00:19:14,090 --> 00:19:16,642
Oh, my God, I overslept.
My final exam's in 20 minutes.
313
00:19:16,745 --> 00:19:18,719
Brian, you'll never make it.
314
00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:23,524
Unless there was some kind of team
of people who could get you there in time.
315
00:19:24,134 --> 00:19:26,653
Peter, do you know anybody like that?
316
00:19:37,119 --> 00:19:39,223
You may start your exams
317
00:19:41,308 --> 00:19:42,420
now.
318
00:19:49,113 --> 00:19:51,283
- Well, how'd you do?
- I failed.
319
00:19:51,384 --> 00:19:53,270
- What? You failed?
- Yup.
320
00:19:53,367 --> 00:19:55,122
Then what the hell are you smiling for?
321
00:19:55,222 --> 00:19:57,741
Because I took it all the way.
I didn't give up on myself.
322
00:19:57,845 --> 00:19:59,469
And I didn't cheat.
323
00:20:00,755 --> 00:20:03,290
- Wow. You probably should have.
- Yeah. I was just gonna say that.
324
00:20:03,314 --> 00:20:05,680
Yeah, you would have probably
been better off.
325
00:20:06,353 --> 00:20:09,351
Look, it doesn't matter how it turned out.
I finished what I started,
326
00:20:09,455 --> 00:20:12,104
which means I have my pride.
And that's something.
327
00:20:12,718 --> 00:20:14,516
- No, it's not!
- Yeah! Are you out of your mind?
328
00:20:14,540 --> 00:20:16,755
I mean, what the... I don't
understand that. What is that like?
329
00:20:16,779 --> 00:20:18,753
- You're such a loser.
- I hate you!