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00:00:02,606 --> 00:00:04,976
♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
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00:00:04,976 --> 00:00:08,216
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
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00:00:08,316 --> 00:00:11,891
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
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♪ On which we used to rely? ♪
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♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪
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♪ Lucky there's a man who
positively can do ♪
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♪ All the things that make us ♪
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♪ Laugh and cry ♪
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♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy. ♪
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Son of a bitch.
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What's wrong, Peter?
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Eh, our I.T. guy told me today
that, apparently,
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I've had a work e-mail address
ever since I started there.
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So now I got to slog
through 17,000 messages.
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Aw, crap, we didn't have
to come in on 9/11?
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I never even liked working
at that stupid brewery.
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Hardly my dream job,
I'll tell you that much.
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Now, there's
an interesting question.
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What would be your dream job?
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Dream job? Oh, that's easy.
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Ever since I was a kid,
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I always pictured myself
being an international spy.
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So, beautiful,
which lamp did you unplug
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to charge your phone
in the room?
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Mine's in the bathroom.
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Mm, you know,
I never caught your name.
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The name is Band. Lap Band.
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Careful. Here come the bad guys
from whatever country
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won't offend American
or Chinese audiences.
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You have dishonored the people
of Finland, Mr. Band.
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Shoot him,
fellow tall introverts.
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Yep. All definitely me.
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Whoosh. Zoom.
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Ski noise.
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♪ Oh, oh, Ozempic... ♪
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They threw a ton of money at us.
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We couldn't say no.
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All right.
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Hey, I wonder who they got
to do the song.
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Blech.
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♪ When you're a spy ♪
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♪ You got a lot on your mind ♪
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♪ You look high and low ♪
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♪ You never know
what you'll find ♪
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♪ Spy life. ♪
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Mercifully brief.
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Good morning, Agent 5-5-5.
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Ugh, right. 'Cause this is
a number on a television show.
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I say, you look as bewitching
as ever, Miss Takeapenny.
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Oh, didn't you hear?
I got married.
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I'm now
Ms. Takeapenny-Leaveapenny.
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Wow, lucky gentleman.
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Because he gets to plow you,
is what I mean.
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So debonair.
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You know, now that I'm married,
I'm actually leaving.
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I'm training
my replacement, Todd.
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A male secretary?
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Well, I suppose
I'll just have to adapt
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and harass him now.
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Nice penis, Todd.
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Oh, Mr. Band.
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Okay, good,
he knows how to play along.
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Yeah, this is-- this'll work.
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I understand you have
a mission for me, M,
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which I can only assume
stands for "man."
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Good morning, Mr. Band.
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Whoa. My boss is
the new Little Mermaid
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I'm so mad about.
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Mr. Band, we have
reports of a plan
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to intercept a European
nuclear device
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by the villainous
mastermind, Blofella.
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Got it, M.
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Or-or is it maybe MHM
and you pronounce it "mm-hmm"?
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M is fine.
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Okay, yeah, I--
times have changed
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and I-I got to--
I need to catch up.
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Oh, hey, Q.
Hey, have you seen who M is?
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Which I totally support,
by the way.
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In fact, it was my idea
and I fought for it.
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You should've heard me.
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Okay, just let me show you
the cutting-edge equipment
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you'll need for your mission.
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First, I have this fridge
that displays today's headlines.
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Did-- did you just go
to Best Buy?
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No. I also have these headphones
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that block out
ambient plane noise.
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Yeah, you-you just went
to Best Buy.
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- I did not!
- So, where am I headed?
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We're expecting Blofella
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to attempt to intercept
the bomb in Belgium.
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Oh, awesome.
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That's the country where
they basically have
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dessert for breakfast, right?
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Agent triple-five,
I cannot stress enough--
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no dessert for breakfast.
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Greetings, Mr. Band,
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on behalf of Belgian
Secret Services.
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Oh, hey.
I-I'd shake your hand,
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but my arm is syrup-glued
to the table.
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The name is Alice. Alice Boobs.
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That works in two ways.
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No, it's-it's really just one.
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Our intelligence has revealed
that the bomb transfer is
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to take place in this warehouse
for generic wooden crates.
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What? It's very loud.
106
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We're getting none of this.
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If we can't hear him,
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he can't hear us saying
we can't hear him.
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What a mess!
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Gavin. Gavin.
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Turn off--
turn the helicopter off.
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I-I was going to say, "Sorry
to drop in on your party,"
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but, uh, feels stupid now.
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Get 'em, boys.
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So that's it, Blofella?
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You're just gonna have us
killed by your henchmen?
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Oh, okay, I'd rather you
not use that word.
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They are independent
contractors.
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He doesn't want
to pay us benefits.
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There is an app they log into
when they want to work,
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around their schedule.
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I am not their employer.
The app is their employer.
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Goodbye, Mr. Band.
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It wasn't looking good.
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But thankfully,
Q had supplied me with...
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Captain America's shield.
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What? No, no, no.
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You can't just become
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a Marvel character
halfway through.
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Also, we usually see
all the stuff
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Q gives you at the beginning.
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This feels very unearned.
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Belgian intelligence learned
that Blofella's plan was
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to use the nuclear device
he'd intercepted
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to blow up the city
of Las Vegas.
136
00:07:05,016 --> 00:07:07,387
But that wasn't the only
emergency I was dealing with.
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Yeah, you said everyone
in Vegas wears tuxedos,
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and I'm starting to feel
pretty self-conscious.
139
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Uh, I didn't say "definitely."
140
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I said,
"It was my understanding."
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Agent triple-five, look.
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Blofella. Not on my watch.
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I can't find my way out.
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Okay, well, that says
"breakfast buffet" that way,
145
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but I'm pretty sure
we've seen it twice.
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Here we are again
at North Suite Elevators.
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I don't know, should we--
should we just
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00:07:54,983 --> 00:07:56,620
hit the slot machines
while we're here?
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No. That's why they do this.
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No, no, yeah, no,
I get all that,
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and I hate
to hold things up, but...
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00:08:01,763 --> 00:08:03,700
I mean, Santana's in his 70s.
153
00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:06,238
We should probably see him
while we still can.
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Eh.
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I knew one song.
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Son of a bitch.
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There we are. Assembly complete.
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So, again, this would be
an appropriate time
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for you all to please
log out of the app.
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Ha! I got you now.
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Mr. Band.
How did you find me?
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Honestly, I'm on a guided tour
for the movie The Hangover,
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which ends on the roof.
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Fun fact, gang--
it was actually Zach's idea
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to put the sunglasses
on the baby.
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Okay, I see everyone staring
at the Mandalay Bay,
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so I'll go ahead and tell you
which window was the shooter's.
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Well, you're too late.
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In a few moments,
all of Las Vegas will be
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totally wiped off the map.
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You're a madman.
Why are you doing this?
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I need to get out of a very
restrictive time-share deal,
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00:09:01,081 --> 00:09:03,788
and this is literally
the only way out.
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There was no time.
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So that's when I pulled out
Kylo Ren's lightsaber
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00:09:15,578 --> 00:09:17,414
and knocked Blofella
off the roof.
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No, no, no, no. That's cheating.
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Also, you got a lightsaber,
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and you're just gonna
push a guy?
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Oh, triple-five,
you saved my life.
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00:09:27,835 --> 00:09:29,939
Make love to me right now.
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00:09:29,939 --> 00:09:33,179
I'm sorry, Alice, I can't.
I'm gay.
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00:09:33,279 --> 00:09:35,818
New Bond. Edited for snowflakes.
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Wow, that was awesome hearing
about your dream job, Peter.
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00:09:45,738 --> 00:09:48,877
But I was actually lucky enough
to have my dream job.
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At least until I lost it.
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It all started years ago.
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00:09:52,618 --> 00:09:55,156
It was the 1980s,
and I was living alone
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00:09:55,156 --> 00:09:57,929
in a studio apartment
with an askew poster
190
00:09:57,929 --> 00:10:00,399
because bachelors never hang
their posters straight.
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00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:01,837
Yeah, no offense, Quagmire,
192
00:10:01,937 --> 00:10:03,005
but I'm gonna listen
to this story
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00:10:03,005 --> 00:10:05,143
the same way I do
most podcasts--
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at 1.5 speed.
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00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:08,717
I'd put on some weight
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00:10:08,717 --> 00:10:10,353
from being in an abusive
relationship with a woman--
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00:10:10,353 --> 00:10:12,023
- Mama Celeste.
- Abbondanza.
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00:10:12,023 --> 00:10:13,861
All right, okay.
Ba-Back to normal speed.
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00:10:13,861 --> 00:10:15,597
I-I'm in. I'm hooked.
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00:10:16,666 --> 00:10:18,737
The other thing about
living in the '80s is that,
201
00:10:18,737 --> 00:10:20,874
wherever you went,
the actual Pointer Sisters
202
00:10:20,874 --> 00:10:22,779
would follow you around, singing.
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00:10:22,779 --> 00:10:24,749
♪ Glenn ♪
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00:10:24,749 --> 00:10:27,054
♪ You know this man
just mailed a bill ♪
205
00:10:27,054 --> 00:10:28,256
♪ To Sprint ♪
206
00:10:28,389 --> 00:10:29,659
♪ It's for his phone ♪
207
00:10:29,659 --> 00:10:31,395
♪ A landline phone. ♪
208
00:10:32,164 --> 00:10:33,934
I knew I needed
to get in shape,
209
00:10:34,068 --> 00:10:36,405
but the only forms of exercise
in the '80s were
210
00:10:36,405 --> 00:10:38,076
roller-skating on a dance floor
211
00:10:38,076 --> 00:10:41,282
or lugging around your dead boss
to use his vacation home.
212
00:10:42,217 --> 00:10:44,254
Back then, there were
two things I liked:
213
00:10:44,254 --> 00:10:45,625
gyrating my pelvis
214
00:10:45,625 --> 00:10:47,093
and putting vowels
next to each other
215
00:10:47,093 --> 00:10:48,798
that weren't normally
next to each other.
216
00:10:48,798 --> 00:10:50,200
I combined those two loves
217
00:10:50,300 --> 00:10:52,672
to create something called
"aerobics."
218
00:10:52,672 --> 00:10:53,840
Welcome aboard.
219
00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:55,744
Here's your
complimentary headband,
220
00:10:55,844 --> 00:10:58,750
two wristbands, waistband,
thigh band, another headband.
221
00:10:58,850 --> 00:11:00,420
There were a lot of bands.
222
00:11:00,521 --> 00:11:02,825
Yeah, my finger's hovering
over that 1.5 button.
223
00:11:02,926 --> 00:11:04,261
Yeah, okay, okay, okay.
224
00:11:04,361 --> 00:11:06,800
So I started teaching classes
that same week.
225
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,637
I even created an advanced class
226
00:11:08,637 --> 00:11:10,774
based on how your body moves
during sex.
227
00:11:10,774 --> 00:11:12,879
I called it "Sexercise."
228
00:11:18,924 --> 00:11:20,828
And things took off immediately
229
00:11:20,928 --> 00:11:24,167
because I gave 1980s women
exactly what they wanted:
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00:11:24,167 --> 00:11:26,005
long, flat butts.
231
00:11:26,105 --> 00:11:28,443
Come on, ladies.
Longer! Flatter!
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00:11:28,544 --> 00:11:30,379
My workout program was a hit,
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00:11:30,379 --> 00:11:32,985
and soon I was ready
to take it national.
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00:11:32,985 --> 00:11:34,488
I was lucky enough
to get the chance to announce
235
00:11:34,488 --> 00:11:36,893
the filming of my video on
The Tonight Show with Johnny.
236
00:11:36,994 --> 00:11:39,164
Wow! You met Johnny Carson?
237
00:11:39,265 --> 00:11:41,636
Actually, that particular night
there was a guest host,
238
00:11:41,636 --> 00:11:43,874
John Davidson,
star of That's Incredible!
239
00:11:43,974 --> 00:11:46,011
So, you know, different Johnny
but still Johnny.
240
00:11:46,111 --> 00:11:48,551
No one has ever called
John Davidson "Johnny."
241
00:11:48,651 --> 00:11:51,455
He guest-hosted 87 times.
That's not nothing.
242
00:11:51,455 --> 00:11:53,994
Anyway, the night's first guest
was Jane Fonda,
243
00:11:54,094 --> 00:11:55,764
who was promoting 9 to 5,
244
00:11:55,864 --> 00:11:58,503
by far the blousiest movie
of the 1980s.
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00:11:58,503 --> 00:12:00,240
So, Glenn Quagmire.
246
00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:01,208
It says here you created
247
00:12:01,308 --> 00:12:03,914
an exercise craze
called "aerobics."
248
00:12:04,014 --> 00:12:07,086
- What inspired that?
- Well, John... ny,
249
00:12:07,186 --> 00:12:09,925
one day as I did jumping jacks
alone in my apartment,
250
00:12:09,925 --> 00:12:12,464
I thought, "How can I take
the worst parts of this
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00:12:12,464 --> 00:12:13,900
"and put it in a public setting?
252
00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:16,840
Plus a wall of mirrors
and street-facing windows."
253
00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:18,710
The interview seemed
to go great.
254
00:12:18,710 --> 00:12:20,079
But the next day,
255
00:12:20,079 --> 00:12:23,419
I realized how truly ruthless
Jane Fonda was.
256
00:12:26,993 --> 00:12:30,668
Now, Mr. Quagmire, an important
part of releasing a 1980s video
257
00:12:30,668 --> 00:12:34,008
is the incredibly depressing
production logo it opens with.
258
00:12:34,108 --> 00:12:35,844
I have a few here
to choose from.
259
00:12:35,844 --> 00:12:38,082
First is some vibrating
rainbow text
260
00:12:38,182 --> 00:12:40,420
that never quite comes
into focus.
261
00:12:44,261 --> 00:12:45,229
Uh-huh, love that.
262
00:12:45,229 --> 00:12:47,702
This one is just a large
bouncing "V"
263
00:12:47,802 --> 00:12:49,806
with an ominous keyboard noise.
264
00:12:54,247 --> 00:12:55,083
Also excellent.
265
00:12:55,183 --> 00:12:57,287
Or here's three capital letters
266
00:12:57,287 --> 00:13:00,259
all spelled with one thick,
continuous line
267
00:13:00,359 --> 00:13:02,030
atop a digital horizon.
268
00:13:06,338 --> 00:13:08,977
Wow, you can't miss.
Let's go with all three.
269
00:13:09,779 --> 00:13:11,716
Wait a minute.
What's-what's going on?
270
00:13:11,716 --> 00:13:12,919
Where are my leg warmers?
271
00:13:12,919 --> 00:13:14,822
Back then,
leg warmers were essential
272
00:13:14,922 --> 00:13:16,392
because that was, by far,
273
00:13:16,392 --> 00:13:18,530
the coldest decade
from the knee down.
274
00:13:18,530 --> 00:13:20,266
Did someone take my leg warmers?
275
00:13:20,266 --> 00:13:24,174
In place of my leg warmers,
I found only a single note.
276
00:13:27,047 --> 00:13:27,982
At first, I assumed
277
00:13:27,982 --> 00:13:30,120
Jodie Foster had stolen
my leg warmers,
278
00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:32,357
and I was about to go
take it out on the president.
279
00:13:32,357 --> 00:13:35,196
But then I realized it could
only have been one person intent
280
00:13:35,196 --> 00:13:39,104
on sabotaging me-- Jane Fonda.
281
00:13:39,104 --> 00:13:41,677
I tried my best to soldier on.
282
00:13:41,677 --> 00:13:42,745
Okay, don't look at my legs.
283
00:13:42,745 --> 00:13:45,417
And one, and two...
My calves are tiny and cold.
284
00:13:45,417 --> 00:13:46,786
And three, and four...
285
00:13:46,886 --> 00:13:48,524
But I knew, even in the moment,
286
00:13:48,624 --> 00:13:50,326
it was gonna be a disaster.
287
00:13:59,746 --> 00:14:02,150
I never stood a chance.
288
00:14:06,158 --> 00:14:07,995
Hello, Glenn.
289
00:14:07,995 --> 00:14:11,001
Sorry you failed, but...
like they say,
290
00:14:11,001 --> 00:14:13,038
all's fair in love and aerobics.
291
00:14:13,138 --> 00:14:15,042
Who? Who says that? Nobody.
292
00:14:15,142 --> 00:14:17,648
God, now I get why everyone's
racist uncle hates you.
293
00:14:17,648 --> 00:14:21,054
Well, it's been nice chatting,
but if you'll excuse me,
294
00:14:21,054 --> 00:14:22,791
I have to go lobby our nation
295
00:14:22,891 --> 00:14:24,696
about cleaning up the mess
we made in Vietnam.
296
00:14:24,696 --> 00:14:26,967
Sorry, I went ahead
and hit the eight-X.
297
00:14:26,967 --> 00:14:30,206
No, you-you-you did the,
you did the right thing, Peter.
298
00:14:45,036 --> 00:14:47,106
Well, as far as dream jobs go,
299
00:14:47,206 --> 00:14:50,313
mine's always been to do
what you do, Joe, to be a cop.
300
00:14:50,413 --> 00:14:52,484
But, you know, one day
short of retirement,
301
00:14:52,585 --> 00:14:54,722
since y'all got
such a nice benefits package.
302
00:14:54,722 --> 00:14:59,064
Huh. Well, my dream job is to
do pretty much what I do now
303
00:14:59,064 --> 00:15:01,101
but be, like,
a loose cannon type cop
304
00:15:01,101 --> 00:15:03,039
who doesn't care
whether he lives or dies
305
00:15:03,039 --> 00:15:04,842
but can definitely walk.
306
00:15:09,117 --> 00:15:10,921
It was my last day on the job,
307
00:15:10,921 --> 00:15:13,493
and I'd just taken
my last office dump
308
00:15:13,493 --> 00:15:14,962
when I was called
into the chief's office.
309
00:15:15,063 --> 00:15:17,668
Morning, sir.
You wanted to see me?
310
00:15:17,668 --> 00:15:18,938
That's right.
We've been tracking
311
00:15:18,938 --> 00:15:20,440
a notorious drug cartel
312
00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:22,611
that's been bringing
tons of cocaine into L.A.
313
00:15:22,611 --> 00:15:26,452
Yes, cocaine has been ravaging
the Black community for years.
314
00:15:26,452 --> 00:15:29,057
Yeah, well, some white girl
got a minor nosebleed,
315
00:15:29,057 --> 00:15:31,428
so now I guess it's, like,
a big frickin' deal.
316
00:15:31,428 --> 00:15:33,767
In fact, last night,
there was a huge bust.
317
00:15:33,767 --> 00:15:35,269
Wow, how much was it?
318
00:15:35,269 --> 00:15:37,207
And remember,
we measure cocaine--
319
00:15:37,207 --> 00:15:39,812
and nothing else--
in only kilos.
320
00:15:39,812 --> 00:15:42,083
- I don't know, 80 pounds?
- Huh?
321
00:15:42,083 --> 00:15:43,419
Like, 36 kilos.
322
00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:46,292
Oh, my God!
That's too much kilos!
323
00:15:46,292 --> 00:15:48,362
Oh, I'm also assigning you
a new partner.
324
00:15:48,462 --> 00:15:50,634
But don't worry, I know
you're nearing retirement
325
00:15:50,734 --> 00:15:52,070
and want a stable situation,
326
00:15:52,070 --> 00:15:55,109
so I'm hooking you up with a guy
named Sergeant Maniac.
327
00:15:55,109 --> 00:15:57,413
How you doing?
I'm a crazy wild card
328
00:15:57,413 --> 00:16:01,021
as indicated by my
only right now timely mullet.
329
00:16:01,121 --> 00:16:04,193
Hmm. You ain't dressed
like a police detective.
330
00:16:04,294 --> 00:16:06,866
Well, I know we're gonna be
running around chasing bad guys,
331
00:16:06,967 --> 00:16:09,304
so I wore
the tightest jeans I own.
332
00:16:09,304 --> 00:16:11,141
Hi-ya! Hi-ya!
333
00:16:11,141 --> 00:16:13,881
Hey, why don't you come on out
to my beachside trailer
334
00:16:14,014 --> 00:16:16,018
to, uh, discuss the case?
335
00:16:16,018 --> 00:16:17,287
Sure. Where is it?
336
00:16:17,387 --> 00:16:20,026
Eh, not in Malibu--
they wouldn't allow it--
337
00:16:20,126 --> 00:16:22,565
but one of those garbage beaches
further north,
338
00:16:22,565 --> 00:16:25,336
way past Moonshadows, which is,
like, the perfect place
339
00:16:25,336 --> 00:16:27,908
to get drunk and tell everybody
who's responsible
340
00:16:27,908 --> 00:16:29,746
for all the world's wars.
341
00:16:32,552 --> 00:16:36,526
I soon realized my new partner
had serious issues.
342
00:16:36,526 --> 00:16:39,799
He didn't care what kind
of dangerous stuff he did.
343
00:16:39,799 --> 00:16:41,603
Hello?
344
00:16:41,603 --> 00:16:44,976
You're calling from
"credit card services"?
345
00:16:44,976 --> 00:16:47,179
Great, I'll tell you
my Social Security number,
346
00:16:47,179 --> 00:16:49,618
and you tell me if it matches
what you have there.
347
00:16:49,618 --> 00:16:51,689
Man is insane.
348
00:16:51,689 --> 00:16:54,862
Okay, and, uh, don't laugh
at my mother's maiden name.
349
00:16:54,962 --> 00:16:56,566
It's kind of a goofy one.
350
00:16:56,666 --> 00:17:00,240
Tinkleman. [laughing] Yeah.
It's like... like pee.
351
00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:02,945
I thought we were gonna
discuss the case.
352
00:17:03,045 --> 00:17:04,849
Right. I'll be ready
in one minute, but first,
353
00:17:04,849 --> 00:17:08,422
I've been asked to make sure
women come see the movie, too.
354
00:17:13,934 --> 00:17:17,842
So my crazy partner and I
set out to solve the case
355
00:17:17,842 --> 00:17:19,712
and began by looking for Leeds,
356
00:17:19,712 --> 00:17:22,049
which was a somewhat popular
mattress store,
357
00:17:22,149 --> 00:17:23,853
where if you said you were
a potential customer,
358
00:17:23,853 --> 00:17:26,726
they'd let you take a nap
in the middle of the day.
359
00:17:26,726 --> 00:17:27,928
Sorry, guys.
360
00:17:28,028 --> 00:17:29,732
My manager says
you have to leave.
361
00:17:29,732 --> 00:17:33,172
Leave? But my partner and I
are trying out this queen bed.
362
00:17:33,172 --> 00:17:35,911
What are you giggling at?
363
00:17:36,011 --> 00:17:37,982
We're partners
on the police force.
364
00:17:37,982 --> 00:17:40,253
This guy's wearing jeans
with no underwear.
365
00:17:40,253 --> 00:17:42,858
Yeah, you're cops. Sure.
366
00:17:45,931 --> 00:17:47,802
You guys are no closer
to figuring out
367
00:17:47,802 --> 00:17:50,339
who's responsible for
bringing in all this cocaine.
368
00:17:50,339 --> 00:17:51,843
I got a pretty good idea.
369
00:17:51,843 --> 00:17:54,848
Have you checked Temple
Shalom Yisrael in Brentwood?
370
00:17:54,848 --> 00:17:58,189
It's also where they control
the weather and the Oscars.
371
00:17:58,189 --> 00:18:00,561
That's it.
You guys are off the case.
372
00:18:02,731 --> 00:18:04,569
Since we'd been thrown off
the case,
373
00:18:04,569 --> 00:18:06,973
I thought it'd be nice
to invite my partner over
374
00:18:07,073 --> 00:18:09,277
- for a home-cooked meal.
- Huh.
375
00:18:09,377 --> 00:18:11,014
You don't have a pitcher
of iced tea?
376
00:18:11,148 --> 00:18:12,651
I thought
every Black family dinner
377
00:18:12,651 --> 00:18:14,154
had a pitcher of iced tea.
378
00:18:14,254 --> 00:18:16,325
We do have a picture of Ice-T,
379
00:18:16,325 --> 00:18:18,329
right up there on the wall.
380
00:18:18,329 --> 00:18:19,898
Attention, all units, be advised
381
00:18:20,032 --> 00:18:21,736
of a possible drug deal
at the dock.
382
00:18:21,736 --> 00:18:23,138
That's not far from here.
383
00:18:23,239 --> 00:18:25,476
No way.
We were taken off that case.
384
00:18:25,476 --> 00:18:29,117
Yeah, but we can be there before
even the closest patrol car.
385
00:18:46,819 --> 00:18:49,157
There, look.
Quick, pull over and let me out.
386
00:18:49,257 --> 00:18:51,462
- What?
- I'm gonna run
the rest of the way.
387
00:18:51,462 --> 00:18:53,767
I assure you the car
will be faster.
388
00:18:53,767 --> 00:18:54,769
See you there.
389
00:19:06,525 --> 00:19:08,295
Been waiting here
for six minutes.
390
00:19:08,295 --> 00:19:11,936
Okay, okay, okay,
so, six-minute mile.
391
00:19:12,036 --> 00:19:13,707
Not bad for jeans
and no underpants.
392
00:19:13,707 --> 00:19:17,246
You got any glovebox Vaseline
in there?
393
00:19:19,885 --> 00:19:22,256
It's the chief. What the hell?
394
00:19:30,339 --> 00:19:31,876
The chief has been
the mastermind
395
00:19:31,876 --> 00:19:34,448
of the cocaine cartel all along.
396
00:19:34,448 --> 00:19:37,755
That might explain why
he always calls me at 3:00 a.m.
397
00:19:37,755 --> 00:19:39,792
with screenplay ideas.
398
00:19:43,331 --> 00:19:44,969
Hello?
399
00:19:45,069 --> 00:19:46,238
Okay, hear me out.
400
00:19:46,238 --> 00:19:48,342
It's Die Hard,
but in a building.
401
00:19:48,342 --> 00:19:50,747
Die Hard is in a building.
402
00:19:50,747 --> 00:19:53,185
Hmm, I don't know.
Here, listen to me watch it,
403
00:19:53,185 --> 00:19:54,487
and we'll find out.
404
00:20:11,488 --> 00:20:14,061
Give it up.
You guys can't arrest me anyway.
405
00:20:14,061 --> 00:20:17,267
I have diplomatic immunity.
406
00:20:17,367 --> 00:20:20,239
- You do?
- On what basis?
407
00:20:20,239 --> 00:20:22,376
Yeah, I'm a citizen
of Margaritaville.
408
00:20:22,376 --> 00:20:25,249
I even have this hat from
a recent vacation to prove it.
409
00:20:25,249 --> 00:20:27,655
Too bad.
410
00:20:27,755 --> 00:20:31,996
Your diplomatic immunity's
just been revoked.
411
00:20:35,637 --> 00:20:37,875
The officer's actions,
while illegal,
412
00:20:37,875 --> 00:20:41,549
were justified by a snappy line.
Movie over.
413
00:20:44,420 --> 00:20:46,892
I was also a producer
on this project.