1 00:00:01,210 --> 00:00:04,670 ♪ it seems today that all you see ♪ 2 00:00:04,755 --> 00:00:07,715 ♪ is violence in movies and sex on tv ♪ 3 00:00:07,883 --> 00:00:11,635 ♪ but where are those good old-fashioned values ♪ 4 00:00:11,721 --> 00:00:14,638 ♪ on which we used to rely? ♪ 5 00:00:14,724 --> 00:00:18,058 ♪ lucky there's a family guy ♪ 6 00:00:18,144 --> 00:00:21,270 ♪ lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪ 7 00:00:21,397 --> 00:00:22,980 ♪ all the things that make us ♪ 8 00:00:23,065 --> 00:00:24,231 ♪ laugh and cry ♪ 9 00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:30,195 ♪ he's... A... Fam... Ily... Guy! ♪ 10 00:00:34,785 --> 00:00:37,453 Thanks for bringing us to your company picnic, peter. 11 00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:39,288 This is gonna be so much fun. 12 00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:41,665 Yeah, I figured it's finally time you guys put faces 13 00:00:41,709 --> 00:00:44,084 To the people I've been bitching about for the past eight years. 14 00:00:44,170 --> 00:00:46,378 Oop, there's charity 5k guy. 15 00:00:46,464 --> 00:00:49,089 Let's run lupus out of town, huh, guys? 16 00:00:50,801 --> 00:00:52,342 I work with peter now. 17 00:00:52,428 --> 00:00:55,220 There's the guy who started after me, and was beneath me, 18 00:00:55,264 --> 00:00:57,222 But now he's, like, higher up than I am. 19 00:00:57,266 --> 00:00:59,725 -Hey, bob. -Hey, darren. 20 00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:05,022 Thank you all for coming to today's picnic. 21 00:01:05,066 --> 00:01:08,150 Now, for our main event: The aerial ovum transfer, 22 00:01:08,235 --> 00:01:11,236 Or, as it's sometimes known, the egg toss. 23 00:01:11,363 --> 00:01:13,322 This year, as a special prize, 24 00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:15,532 The winning team will receive a five-night stay 25 00:01:15,659 --> 00:01:18,535 At my vacation home in mooseattackee, maine. 26 00:01:18,662 --> 00:01:20,579 With miles of trails, it is one of maine's 27 00:01:20,706 --> 00:01:22,539 Premiere hiking destinations. 28 00:01:22,666 --> 00:01:24,792 And you're only a short bike ride away 29 00:01:24,877 --> 00:01:26,543 From its quaint downtown. 30 00:01:26,629 --> 00:01:31,048 Let your cares melt away as you paddle across serene lake June. 31 00:01:31,133 --> 00:01:33,008 Peter, that place in maine is amazing. 32 00:01:33,094 --> 00:01:34,843 It looks like a stephen king book 33 00:01:34,970 --> 00:01:36,762 Before anything bad happens. 34 00:01:36,889 --> 00:01:39,098 Hi, gary, how's it going? How's brenda? 35 00:01:39,225 --> 00:01:42,101 Oh, she's great. Uh, just alive, super alive. 36 00:01:42,144 --> 00:01:44,603 -How are the boys? -Yep, all alive. 37 00:01:44,730 --> 00:01:46,313 Children and pets all alive 38 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:48,816 And acting like normal children and pets. 39 00:01:48,901 --> 00:01:51,235 That's great. H-hey, have you met 40 00:01:51,362 --> 00:01:53,362 That new stranger from not here? 41 00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:56,406 Nope. See you tomorrow definitely. 42 00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:01,078 Peter, we got to win this vacation, 43 00:02:01,247 --> 00:02:02,955 But there are so many other teams. 44 00:02:03,082 --> 00:02:05,207 Relax, lois. I brought a hard-boiled egg, 45 00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:07,459 So while all the other teams are getting eliminated, 46 00:02:07,545 --> 00:02:09,670 We can just play an "angry dad" game of catch. 47 00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:12,631 So the school called to say they found pot in your locker. 48 00:02:12,716 --> 00:02:14,258 You want to tell me about that? 49 00:02:14,343 --> 00:02:17,177 Ow! I-I'm not sure what we're doing, peter. 50 00:02:17,221 --> 00:02:19,513 So how's that summer job hunt coming? 51 00:02:19,682 --> 00:02:22,558 I don't think they're hiring in front of the tv all day. 52 00:02:22,685 --> 00:02:25,060 Ow! That's too hard. 53 00:02:25,146 --> 00:02:26,478 You know what else is hard? 54 00:02:26,605 --> 00:02:28,689 Waking up next to a woman you no longer love. 55 00:02:28,774 --> 00:02:30,232 Try that on for size. 56 00:02:31,569 --> 00:02:34,027 [indistinct chatter] 57 00:02:34,113 --> 00:02:36,071 Peter, they've all been eliminated. 58 00:02:36,157 --> 00:02:38,866 The game is over, but I think we should talk. 59 00:02:38,951 --> 00:02:41,743 Yes! The griffins are going to maine. 60 00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:43,704 And if that isn't the perfect promo 61 00:02:43,873 --> 00:02:46,206 For the middle of a meaningless vikings-packers game, 62 00:02:46,292 --> 00:02:47,708 I don't know what is. 63 00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:51,128 Announcer: And the players have gathered around clark. 64 00:02:51,255 --> 00:02:54,506 And we can only hope that his injury wasn't too serious 65 00:02:54,633 --> 00:02:58,218 And we start to see some movement in those extremities. 66 00:02:58,345 --> 00:03:01,305 And while we have this break in the action, 67 00:03:01,432 --> 00:03:04,141 This Sunday on an all-new family guy, 68 00:03:04,226 --> 00:03:07,186 The griffins are going to maine. 69 00:03:07,271 --> 00:03:11,440 On right after an all-new bob's burgers. 70 00:03:14,236 --> 00:03:16,528 A family vacation in maine. 71 00:03:16,614 --> 00:03:19,907 My monogrammed canvas bag is gonna be so excited. 72 00:03:20,034 --> 00:03:21,783 You said it, lois. 73 00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:24,077 I can't wait to get stuffed with old sunscreens 74 00:03:24,163 --> 00:03:26,079 And emergency tampons. 75 00:03:26,165 --> 00:03:28,081 Yo, a pool table? 76 00:03:28,167 --> 00:03:30,959 Hell ya! I'm gonna be gettin' all up in that. 77 00:03:31,086 --> 00:03:34,338 How does one get "all up in" a pool table? 78 00:03:34,465 --> 00:03:36,465 And, wow, look, it's bigger than I thought. 79 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:37,883 So many bedrooms. 80 00:03:38,010 --> 00:03:38,926 Yeah, with all that extra space, 81 00:03:39,053 --> 00:03:40,219 We could invite our friends along. 82 00:03:40,429 --> 00:03:42,971 Quagmire, joe and bonnie, cleveland and his family. 83 00:03:43,098 --> 00:03:44,848 -The whole gang could come. -Really? 84 00:03:44,934 --> 00:03:47,059 Do you think everyone would enjoy it? 85 00:03:47,144 --> 00:03:48,977 Lois, do you know what's up in maine? 86 00:03:49,021 --> 00:03:50,479 Art's trading post. 87 00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:52,189 Ever since I was a kid, I wanted to go up there 88 00:03:52,274 --> 00:03:53,649 To see the trained bear show. 89 00:03:53,692 --> 00:03:55,901 They ride bikes, they wear dracula fangs-- 90 00:03:55,986 --> 00:03:57,653 Seasonally-- and then there's one part 91 00:03:57,780 --> 00:04:00,239 Where nipsy the brown bear pretends to smoke a cigar. 92 00:04:00,324 --> 00:04:02,074 And I'm not even kidding. 93 00:04:02,201 --> 00:04:03,450 Ah, I don't know, peter. 94 00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:05,452 It's a lot of people under one roof. 95 00:04:05,537 --> 00:04:07,663 Come on, lois, this is our big chance 96 00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:09,581 To yell at kids who aren't ours. 97 00:04:09,667 --> 00:04:11,083 You know what? Let's do it. 98 00:04:11,210 --> 00:04:12,793 I think bonnie's gained five pounds, 99 00:04:12,962 --> 00:04:14,419 And I want to see her in a swimsuit. 100 00:04:14,505 --> 00:04:17,214 While we're on the subject of mrs. Swanson and swimsuits, 101 00:04:17,299 --> 00:04:19,549 Question: If mrs. Swanson goes swimming, 102 00:04:19,635 --> 00:04:21,802 Then hangs her bathing suit to dry in the bathroom, 103 00:04:21,929 --> 00:04:24,054 Am I allowed to wring the water into a cup? 104 00:04:24,139 --> 00:04:25,764 -And do what with it? -Irrelevant. 105 00:04:25,849 --> 00:04:27,975 Do not concern yourself with what happens to the water 106 00:04:28,060 --> 00:04:30,769 Once it's in the cup. Am I allowed? 107 00:04:30,854 --> 00:04:32,854 Uh, I'm gonna say no. 108 00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:35,649 All right, well, the guy from reddit already paid 109 00:04:35,734 --> 00:04:37,567 For the water, but I'll-- 110 00:04:37,695 --> 00:04:39,695 I'll figure something out. 111 00:04:52,751 --> 00:04:55,627 I've been waiting a long time for this trip, brian. 112 00:04:55,713 --> 00:04:57,212 To come to maine? Huh. 113 00:04:57,298 --> 00:04:58,922 I didn't think you were much of an outdoorsman. 114 00:04:59,049 --> 00:05:00,632 [scoffs] the outdoors can get stuffed. 115 00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:02,175 We're near kennebunkport, 116 00:05:02,303 --> 00:05:04,052 Home of the bush family compound 117 00:05:04,179 --> 00:05:06,054 And, according to dowdy magazine, 118 00:05:06,140 --> 00:05:08,181 The very place where barbara bush picked 119 00:05:08,267 --> 00:05:10,017 That one haircut 40 years ago 120 00:05:10,102 --> 00:05:12,060 And never looked back. See? 121 00:05:12,104 --> 00:05:14,438 The perfect, coiffed, lady fro. 122 00:05:14,523 --> 00:05:16,815 I hear tell that she brought a quaker oats box 123 00:05:16,859 --> 00:05:19,067 Into the salon and said, "this." 124 00:05:19,153 --> 00:05:21,778 Uh-oh, no pavement, lot of rocks and roots. 125 00:05:21,864 --> 00:05:24,114 Good thing joe brought his 126 00:05:24,241 --> 00:05:26,074 New off-road tires! 127 00:05:26,201 --> 00:05:28,118 I didn't pack the tires. 128 00:05:28,287 --> 00:05:30,162 Oh. 129 00:05:30,289 --> 00:05:31,830 Nuts. 130 00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:33,665 All right, gang, time to head inside. 131 00:05:33,751 --> 00:05:35,000 Now one quick heads-up. 132 00:05:35,127 --> 00:05:37,127 Every room has a lake view except one. 133 00:05:37,212 --> 00:05:38,337 Somebody's gonna have to look out 134 00:05:38,464 --> 00:05:40,839 Over that girls' volleyball camp next door. 135 00:05:40,966 --> 00:05:43,717 Nice serve, stacy. 136 00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:50,474 What did I tell ya, lois? 137 00:05:50,559 --> 00:05:52,392 Look at all those big smiles and-- 138 00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:56,063 Cleveland jr., no wet feet on the hardwood floor! 139 00:05:56,190 --> 00:05:58,023 This is gonna be a great week. 140 00:05:58,108 --> 00:05:59,941 Hey, peter, will you call your boss? 141 00:06:00,069 --> 00:06:02,194 For what? I don't want to bug him already. 142 00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:04,196 He wrote the wi-fi password in a font 143 00:06:04,281 --> 00:06:07,407 Where the big letter I's and the l juniors are the same thing. 144 00:06:07,493 --> 00:06:09,534 I can't make heads or tails of it. 145 00:06:09,620 --> 00:06:12,079 Are you calling preston? Ask him about the towel sitch. 146 00:06:12,164 --> 00:06:14,331 I could only find three and you're gonna need those 147 00:06:14,458 --> 00:06:16,416 To clean the soda off the pool table. 148 00:06:16,502 --> 00:06:18,877 We already spilled on the pool table? 149 00:06:18,962 --> 00:06:21,463 Yeah, meg was really gettin' all up in it. 150 00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:24,257 Hey, peter? Uh, someone either laid a giant turd 151 00:06:24,343 --> 00:06:26,676 Or tried to flush a russet potato down the toilet. 152 00:06:26,804 --> 00:06:28,387 It's totally clogged. 153 00:06:30,933 --> 00:06:34,393 Announcer: And clark, still unresponsive, 154 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:39,064 Being carted off the field and into an ambulance. 155 00:06:39,149 --> 00:06:44,027 This week's family guy: Someone lays a giant turd. 156 00:06:49,660 --> 00:06:53,036 It's the single largest defecate I ever saw. 157 00:06:53,122 --> 00:06:55,789 Should we try flushing it again as a show of force? 158 00:06:55,958 --> 00:06:58,458 Nah, chris, that'll only make it angry. 159 00:06:58,627 --> 00:07:01,044 Okay, here's the situation: A stubborn bm 160 00:07:01,130 --> 00:07:02,838 Is blocking up our main toilet. 161 00:07:02,965 --> 00:07:04,965 I can't find a plunger, so whoever did it 162 00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:06,842 Needs to get in there with a dishwashing glove 163 00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,969 And punch it through. So who was it? 164 00:07:11,056 --> 00:07:14,224 Say, chris, that looks like a fresh rim of sweat on your hat. 165 00:07:14,309 --> 00:07:16,476 Wouldn't happen to be "pushing sweat," would it? 166 00:07:16,603 --> 00:07:19,312 What? No! I was reading a chapter book. 167 00:07:19,398 --> 00:07:21,565 Meg, you're generally gross. 168 00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:23,233 Anything you want to fess up to? 169 00:07:23,318 --> 00:07:26,144 Nope. I'm "dogging it" this month for the environment. 170 00:07:26,238 --> 00:07:28,071 That means I only go outside. 171 00:07:28,157 --> 00:07:29,364 Saves water, feeds the soil, 172 00:07:29,408 --> 00:07:31,658 Turns a few heads at the same time. 173 00:07:31,743 --> 00:07:33,368 Okay, this is disgusting. 174 00:07:33,495 --> 00:07:35,078 D-does it really matter who did it? 175 00:07:35,205 --> 00:07:36,830 I'd kind of like to know. 176 00:07:36,915 --> 00:07:38,874 Yeah, we should at least make sure 177 00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:40,459 They don't need medical attention. 178 00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:42,586 Well, I'd like to get on with my vacation. 179 00:07:42,713 --> 00:07:44,796 There's got to be a plunger around here somewhere. 180 00:07:44,882 --> 00:07:46,298 Peter, come on, help me look. 181 00:07:46,383 --> 00:07:48,800 Okay, listen up, we don't have much time. 182 00:07:48,886 --> 00:07:50,886 It was me, peter. I clogged the toilet. 183 00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:53,472 That was you? How is that even possible? 184 00:07:53,599 --> 00:07:56,057 [groans] it was all that fiber-y mom cereal 185 00:07:56,143 --> 00:07:57,476 The view told us to eat. 186 00:07:57,603 --> 00:08:00,353 That turd has joy behar's fingerprints all over it. 187 00:08:00,439 --> 00:08:03,014 But I need you to take the fall for me. 188 00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:04,649 Uh, I don't know, lois. 189 00:08:04,776 --> 00:08:06,526 Even for a husky guy like me, 190 00:08:06,612 --> 00:08:07,903 It's shamefully large. 191 00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:10,238 I know! That's why I need your help. 192 00:08:10,324 --> 00:08:12,324 That is not a poop a woman can come back from. 193 00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:14,242 Look, you take the blame, and I'll let you 194 00:08:14,286 --> 00:08:16,411 Get two souvenirs at the bear show. 195 00:08:16,497 --> 00:08:18,914 It's not gonna be, like, like, like, books, is it? 196 00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:20,207 No. 197 00:08:20,292 --> 00:08:22,083 All right, everybody, listen up. 198 00:08:22,127 --> 00:08:24,127 I'm the one who clogged the toilet. 199 00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:26,046 [all clamoring in disgust] 200 00:08:26,131 --> 00:08:28,632 Oh, great! As if that little slug of yours 201 00:08:28,717 --> 00:08:30,050 Isn't embarrassing enough. 202 00:08:30,177 --> 00:08:32,219 Sorry, I have to make this believable. 203 00:08:32,387 --> 00:08:34,095 -So it's big? -Let's... 204 00:08:34,223 --> 00:08:37,224 Let's just get through this, huh? 205 00:08:41,730 --> 00:08:44,189 [to the tune of "reveille"] ♪ gig-gig-giggity ♪ 206 00:08:44,316 --> 00:08:46,191 ♪ gig-gig-giggity, gig-gig, giggity, gee-gee ♪ 207 00:08:46,276 --> 00:08:48,151 ♪ gig-gig-giggity gig-gig-giggity, gee-gee. ♪ 208 00:08:48,237 --> 00:08:50,278 What the hell is happening?! 209 00:08:50,364 --> 00:08:52,155 Life, peter. That's what's happening. 210 00:08:52,282 --> 00:08:54,241 I've put together a whole itinerary of adventures 211 00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:56,993 -For our week. -Wow, this is very detailed. 212 00:08:57,120 --> 00:09:00,580 "6:27, read '6:27' on daily schedule." 213 00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:02,123 Right on schedule. 214 00:09:02,209 --> 00:09:04,167 Hey, why's some of this stuff highlighted in green, 215 00:09:04,294 --> 00:09:06,044 But my bear show is in yellow? 216 00:09:06,129 --> 00:09:07,796 Because the bear show is priority yellow. 217 00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:10,924 [laughing] a bear, a bear show would never be priority green. 218 00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:13,468 All right, as long as it's on there, I guess. 219 00:09:13,554 --> 00:09:15,929 Now to put on a pair of shorts I never wear at home, 220 00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:19,224 But packed for vacation, hoping they'd magically fit. 221 00:09:22,688 --> 00:09:24,688 [grunting] 222 00:09:27,776 --> 00:09:29,317 [sighs] 223 00:09:29,444 --> 00:09:31,069 Announcer: Vacation: Let's just pack 224 00:09:31,154 --> 00:09:32,946 The stuff we're sure fits. 225 00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:34,739 [inhales deeply] 226 00:09:34,866 --> 00:09:36,449 [exhales] 227 00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:37,659 You guys smell that? 228 00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:38,994 You smell that air? 229 00:09:39,121 --> 00:09:41,788 [all inhale, exhale] 230 00:09:41,948 --> 00:09:43,707 Peter, you still back there? 231 00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:45,208 I don't hear you smelling that air. 232 00:09:45,294 --> 00:09:47,294 [panting] yeah, I'm here. 233 00:09:47,379 --> 00:09:49,296 I'm just having a hard time on the one bike 234 00:09:49,464 --> 00:09:51,214 That was stored under the deck all winter 235 00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:53,717 Instead of in the garage. [sighs] 236 00:09:53,802 --> 00:09:55,385 We've been at this all morning. 237 00:09:55,512 --> 00:09:57,095 Is it time to go to the bear show yet? 238 00:09:57,264 --> 00:09:58,888 Soon, peter. But before that, 239 00:09:59,016 --> 00:10:02,183 The itinerary has us going to a must-visit local market 240 00:10:02,352 --> 00:10:05,061 That no local has ever stepped foot in. 241 00:10:07,024 --> 00:10:08,690 Now, be sure to put your bikes down in a place 242 00:10:08,817 --> 00:10:12,027 That blocks the path of people just trying to live their lives. 243 00:10:13,614 --> 00:10:15,155 [crowd clamoring] 244 00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:18,158 We're doing vacation really good, you guys. 245 00:10:18,201 --> 00:10:20,285 God, I hate these stores. 246 00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:22,078 They're so tiny, so the owner's 247 00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:23,747 Right on top of you the whole time. 248 00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:25,624 -Can I wrap that for you? -Hoda kotb! 249 00:10:25,751 --> 00:10:28,126 Oh, you're such a tourist. Here, follow my lead. 250 00:10:28,211 --> 00:10:30,295 You know how it's typically rude to talk 251 00:10:30,455 --> 00:10:32,547 -To people about their finances? -Yeah. 252 00:10:32,633 --> 00:10:34,966 Well, in a small town market, you can come right out 253 00:10:35,093 --> 00:10:37,677 And ask the owner if he makes enough money to feed his family. 254 00:10:37,763 --> 00:10:40,055 You just have to do it in the voice white ladies use 255 00:10:40,223 --> 00:10:42,349 With people who don't speak english. 256 00:10:42,434 --> 00:10:44,934 Was it a good tourist season, 257 00:10:45,103 --> 00:10:47,354 Or will your children go without? 258 00:10:47,439 --> 00:10:49,898 This business you've dedicated your life to 259 00:10:50,025 --> 00:10:51,816 Is very cute to me. 260 00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:53,777 Isn't this fun, peter? 261 00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:56,946 Now don't forget to say "bye" like the world's biggest ass. 262 00:10:57,074 --> 00:11:01,409 [high-pitched] bye! Buh-bye, bye. 263 00:11:01,536 --> 00:11:03,328 ♪ ♪ 264 00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:06,373 How are those burgers coming along? 265 00:11:06,458 --> 00:11:07,499 Fine, I guess. 266 00:11:07,584 --> 00:11:09,918 Well, thanks for volunteering to cook. 267 00:11:09,961 --> 00:11:11,044 I didn't volunteer. 268 00:11:11,129 --> 00:11:12,545 Everyone just called me "grill master" 269 00:11:12,673 --> 00:11:13,880 Until I submitted. 270 00:11:13,965 --> 00:11:16,591 [laughs] spoken like a true grill master. 271 00:11:16,718 --> 00:11:18,843 Whatever. Hey, everybody, we got to eat quick 272 00:11:18,929 --> 00:11:20,720 If we're gonna catch the bear show. 273 00:11:20,806 --> 00:11:23,223 They're kept on a robitussin and zoloft-heavy diet, 274 00:11:23,308 --> 00:11:24,933 So they fall asleep pretty early. 275 00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:27,644 Okay, I'll tell chris. He's down at the dock fishing. 276 00:11:27,771 --> 00:11:30,313 There he is, the bait master. 277 00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:33,650 I think I misunderstood the assignment. 278 00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:35,235 Well, let's see what you caught. 279 00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:37,696 I wouldn't look in the bucket. 280 00:11:42,244 --> 00:11:44,911 I'm sorry, we closed 20 minutes ago. 281 00:11:44,996 --> 00:11:47,080 What? Wait a minute, if you closed 20 minutes ago, 282 00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:48,832 Why are you just flipping the sign now? 283 00:11:48,959 --> 00:11:50,375 Owner said I had to wait to flip it 284 00:11:50,502 --> 00:11:52,085 Until it would devastate a fat guy. 285 00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:54,963 I told him he was crazy, but you look pretty upset. 286 00:11:55,090 --> 00:11:56,589 That's why he's the boss. 287 00:11:56,675 --> 00:11:58,049 What's going on, peter? 288 00:11:58,135 --> 00:11:59,718 They're closed, that's what's going on. 289 00:11:59,803 --> 00:12:01,970 And now we got to come all the way back here tomorrow. 290 00:12:02,097 --> 00:12:03,722 Oh, we're actually closed permanently. 291 00:12:03,849 --> 00:12:06,683 After decades of very valid animal cruelty complaints, 292 00:12:06,810 --> 00:12:08,435 It was easier to shut down than to 293 00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:10,645 Keep cleaning fake peta blood off our clothes. 294 00:12:10,731 --> 00:12:11,771 I'm sorry, what? 295 00:12:11,857 --> 00:12:13,481 Yeah, honestly, it's a miracle 296 00:12:13,608 --> 00:12:15,066 They let us go as long as we did. 297 00:12:15,152 --> 00:12:17,444 There's not a single license or permit for this whole thing. 298 00:12:17,571 --> 00:12:21,030 One day, we just started putting bears on pogo sticks 299 00:12:21,116 --> 00:12:22,657 And no one ever told us to stop. 300 00:12:22,826 --> 00:12:24,075 This can't be happening. 301 00:12:24,119 --> 00:12:26,244 Sorry, you should've been here earlier 302 00:12:26,288 --> 00:12:28,246 For the bear flash sale. I was strapping 'em to 303 00:12:28,331 --> 00:12:30,373 People's cars like christmas trees. 304 00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:32,083 See, that guy got one. 305 00:12:34,004 --> 00:12:36,045 By the end, we didn't even charge people. 306 00:12:36,173 --> 00:12:38,214 We were just giving the bears away. 307 00:12:38,300 --> 00:12:39,799 [echoing] just giving the bears away. 308 00:12:39,885 --> 00:12:42,635 Just giving the bears away. Just giving the bears away. 309 00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:46,723 Sorry you didn't see the bears, peter, 310 00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:49,726 But quagmire has us going blueberry-picking tomorrow. 311 00:12:49,853 --> 00:12:51,102 Maybe you'll see a bear then. 312 00:12:51,188 --> 00:12:53,313 I do not want to see a wild bear, lois. 313 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:55,440 I want to see a unicycle bear in a fez. 314 00:12:55,525 --> 00:12:57,400 You know, I still don't really get it. 315 00:12:57,527 --> 00:12:58,985 A bear on a unicycle? 316 00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:00,195 It sounds kind of dumb. 317 00:13:00,322 --> 00:13:02,322 It's not dumb. It's hilarious 318 00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:04,866 And it's the only thing I wanted to do this entire trip. 319 00:13:04,993 --> 00:13:06,409 You know, if I remember correctly, 320 00:13:06,578 --> 00:13:08,286 Part of our deal was I get two souvenirs 321 00:13:08,413 --> 00:13:10,205 From the bear show. Well, I'm looking around 322 00:13:10,332 --> 00:13:12,999 And I don't see any plastic bear heads on sticks 323 00:13:13,084 --> 00:13:14,334 That I can make bite things. 324 00:13:14,419 --> 00:13:16,753 That means I get to tell everyone it was you 325 00:13:16,797 --> 00:13:17,796 Who clogged the toilet. 326 00:13:17,923 --> 00:13:19,130 [all gasp] 327 00:13:19,257 --> 00:13:21,216 Lois, that was you? 328 00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:23,301 But it had such a man stink. 329 00:13:23,428 --> 00:13:24,928 You know what, donna? Going in the bathroom after you 330 00:13:25,013 --> 00:13:26,846 Ain't exactly a walk through the rose garden, 331 00:13:26,932 --> 00:13:28,097 So I'd be quiet right about now. 332 00:13:28,183 --> 00:13:29,474 Don't listen to him, donna. 333 00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:32,185 We think your movements smell very lady-like. 334 00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:33,561 Isn't that right, kids? 335 00:13:33,647 --> 00:13:35,772 Oh, of course, 'cause you all agree on everything. 336 00:13:35,941 --> 00:13:38,024 Just the perfect family, aren't you? 337 00:13:38,109 --> 00:13:40,068 News flash: Normal families fight 338 00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:42,111 And like spending time away from each other. 339 00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:45,198 Sir? Sir? I'm gonna need you to calm down, sir. 340 00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,075 Stop acting like a real cop, joe. 341 00:13:47,202 --> 00:13:48,409 Your right leg is in a knot. 342 00:13:48,537 --> 00:13:49,953 Uh, yeah, 343 00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:50,995 They got a little tangled 344 00:13:51,122 --> 00:13:52,247 When bonnie dipped me 345 00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:53,623 In the lake. 346 00:13:53,708 --> 00:13:56,042 God, I can't believe I thought it'd be a good idea 347 00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:57,335 To bring you people on this trip. 348 00:13:57,420 --> 00:13:59,420 The only reason I still talk to any of you 349 00:13:59,548 --> 00:14:00,839 Is 'cause we live on the same street. 350 00:14:01,049 --> 00:14:04,092 And after this week, I am seriously considering a move. 351 00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:07,178 Peter, peter. I'm sorry, but 7:05 sunset, 352 00:14:07,264 --> 00:14:09,347 So I need to simulate more trumpet songs with "giggity." 353 00:14:09,432 --> 00:14:12,642 [to the tune of "taps"] ♪ giggity ♪ 354 00:14:12,727 --> 00:14:15,019 ♪ giggity. ♪ 355 00:14:15,105 --> 00:14:16,312 Give me that thing. 356 00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:18,106 Oh, no. How will you distract yourself 357 00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:20,024 From the fact that you're gonna die alone 358 00:14:20,110 --> 00:14:21,651 Without your precious itinerary? 359 00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:23,278 -Whoa. -Aah! Son of a-- 360 00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:24,445 [gasps] 361 00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:28,366 [all gasp] 362 00:14:30,078 --> 00:14:32,328 [panicked shouting] 363 00:14:33,623 --> 00:14:34,664 [clamoring] 364 00:14:37,335 --> 00:14:39,377 Oh, my god. The cabin's on fire. 365 00:14:39,462 --> 00:14:40,503 Heavens. 366 00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:49,762 Hey, thanks for coming out. Guess all that's left to do 367 00:14:49,848 --> 00:14:51,180 Is get a picture of me in the truck 368 00:14:51,308 --> 00:14:53,433 And, uh, you fellas can be on your way. 369 00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:56,477 Oh, god, look at this place. 370 00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:58,688 If preston finds out I torched his house, 371 00:14:58,773 --> 00:14:59,814 I'm screwed, you guys. 372 00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:01,524 We got to fix this fast. 373 00:15:02,602 --> 00:15:04,193 But I'm sure it's nothing 374 00:15:04,321 --> 00:15:06,738 A resourceful group of best friends like us 375 00:15:06,865 --> 00:15:07,739 Can't handle, right? 376 00:15:07,866 --> 00:15:09,532 ♪ ♪ 377 00:15:11,828 --> 00:15:14,621 Look, I know peter said some very mean things, 378 00:15:14,664 --> 00:15:17,582 But what's important right now is that no one was hurt. 379 00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:19,459 That's not entirely true, lois. 380 00:15:19,544 --> 00:15:22,712 Your reusable grocery bags didn't make it. 381 00:15:22,756 --> 00:15:24,172 [scoffs] what? 382 00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:27,166 Your bags, they were lost in the fire. 383 00:15:27,302 --> 00:15:29,135 No. No. 384 00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:30,303 No! 385 00:15:30,388 --> 00:15:31,804 [grunts] 386 00:15:31,890 --> 00:15:32,764 -[clamoring] -you son of a bitch, 387 00:15:32,933 --> 00:15:33,932 Peter griffin! 388 00:15:34,017 --> 00:15:35,892 What have you done? 389 00:15:36,019 --> 00:15:37,477 I will never forgive you for this. 390 00:15:37,562 --> 00:15:38,811 Do you hear me? 391 00:15:38,897 --> 00:15:42,398 [sobbing] I will never forgive you. 392 00:15:43,652 --> 00:15:45,693 ♪ ♪ 393 00:15:47,906 --> 00:15:50,073 Well, peter, you made it crystal clear 394 00:15:50,158 --> 00:15:53,201 We're no longer wanted, so we'll leave you be. 395 00:15:53,370 --> 00:15:55,036 Yeah, you can deal with this mess on your own. 396 00:15:55,163 --> 00:15:56,996 Let's go, everybody. 397 00:16:00,001 --> 00:16:01,960 [car doors closing] 398 00:16:02,087 --> 00:16:03,920 [engines starting] 399 00:16:04,038 --> 00:16:05,088 Why aren't we moving? 400 00:16:05,173 --> 00:16:06,547 We got to wait for joe 401 00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:07,799 To back out of the driveway 402 00:16:07,884 --> 00:16:09,384 'cause he pulled in last. 403 00:16:09,427 --> 00:16:12,303 Sorry. If I knew you were doing a big, dramatic exit, 404 00:16:12,389 --> 00:16:15,098 I would've rearranged the cars this morning. 405 00:16:15,183 --> 00:16:17,934 You mind if I wait till I'm all the way in to tell you off? 406 00:16:18,019 --> 00:16:20,144 Yeah, that's fine. 407 00:16:26,528 --> 00:16:28,569 Shame on you, peter. 408 00:16:28,697 --> 00:16:29,779 It is people like you who-- 409 00:16:29,864 --> 00:16:30,822 [car horn honking] 410 00:16:30,949 --> 00:16:31,948 [quagmire] go! 411 00:16:32,033 --> 00:16:34,200 ♪ ♪ 412 00:16:35,704 --> 00:16:37,078 All right, peter, don't panic. 413 00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:38,496 You got till the end of the week to fix this. 414 00:16:38,581 --> 00:16:41,749 Maybe there's an online tutorial that'll help. 415 00:16:41,835 --> 00:16:43,167 What's going on, guys? 416 00:16:43,253 --> 00:16:45,294 I'm corey, from "corey's world." 417 00:16:45,380 --> 00:16:47,296 Today I'm gonna show you how to patch a big hole 418 00:16:47,382 --> 00:16:49,966 In your boss's cabin. Here's what you'll need: 419 00:16:50,051 --> 00:16:52,218 [fading] a drywall saw, tape measure... 420 00:16:52,303 --> 00:16:53,261 [peter] shoot, what did he say? 421 00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:54,971 Turn off the power so you don't 422 00:16:55,056 --> 00:16:57,765 Drill into a live wire like my stepdad todd. 423 00:16:57,851 --> 00:16:59,100 Now our spoons move 424 00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:00,184 When he walks in the kitchen. 425 00:17:00,270 --> 00:17:01,185 To do that... 426 00:17:01,271 --> 00:17:03,271 [peter] gerbils can't sing opera. 427 00:17:03,398 --> 00:17:04,605 Damn it, peter, focus. 428 00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:06,065 -Your job is on the lin-- -[mouse button clicks] 429 00:17:06,151 --> 00:17:09,027 [singing "o sole mio"] 430 00:17:12,282 --> 00:17:15,491 [laughs] aw, touché, "recommended videos." 431 00:17:15,577 --> 00:17:17,326 I know you're leading me down a rabbit hole 432 00:17:17,412 --> 00:17:20,413 To isis beheadings, but this was a bull's-eye. 433 00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:22,165 [phone rings] 434 00:17:22,333 --> 00:17:24,417 Preston. I wasn't expecting to hear from you 435 00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:25,418 For a couple of days. 436 00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:27,128 Yes, well, I realized 437 00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:29,672 I only provided three towels for the entire cabin, 438 00:17:29,799 --> 00:17:31,883 So I'm on my way to deliver more. 439 00:17:31,968 --> 00:17:34,552 Oh, you don't have to come all the way up here just for that. 440 00:17:34,637 --> 00:17:36,012 Unfortunately, I do. 441 00:17:36,097 --> 00:17:38,848 My ocd won't allow me to stop... [clicks tongue] clicking 442 00:17:38,975 --> 00:17:41,100 Until the cabin has 15 towels. 443 00:17:41,144 --> 00:17:42,643 Well, I should let you go. 444 00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:45,146 A new car is in front of me and I need to... [clicks tongue] 445 00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:47,982 Do math problems with its license plate number. 446 00:17:48,026 --> 00:17:50,693 ♪ ♪ 447 00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:54,363 All right, everything I need to get out of this mess 448 00:17:54,449 --> 00:17:56,824 Is right here. Power drill, level, 449 00:17:56,868 --> 00:17:58,576 Circular saw. Perfect. 450 00:17:58,703 --> 00:18:00,912 How can preston fire me 451 00:18:01,039 --> 00:18:02,580 If he can't get inside? 452 00:18:02,707 --> 00:18:03,706 [wind gusts] 453 00:18:03,833 --> 00:18:05,249 Ah! My defenses are down. 454 00:18:05,335 --> 00:18:06,542 -[car approaching] -oh, no. 455 00:18:06,628 --> 00:18:07,919 He's here. [sighs] 456 00:18:08,004 --> 00:18:10,296 Well, I guess it's time to face the music. 457 00:18:14,344 --> 00:18:15,760 What are you guys doing here? 458 00:18:15,887 --> 00:18:17,637 We came back to help you, peter. 459 00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:19,347 And it's not just us. 460 00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:22,225 ♪ ♪ 461 00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:26,646 Did we time it right? 462 00:18:26,731 --> 00:18:28,189 Did you say "not just us" 463 00:18:28,316 --> 00:18:29,690 Before we pulled over the horizon? 464 00:18:29,776 --> 00:18:31,142 Yeah, it was perfect. 465 00:18:31,194 --> 00:18:32,777 Yes. That is why we practiced 466 00:18:32,862 --> 00:18:34,070 In the walmart parking lot. 467 00:18:34,155 --> 00:18:36,155 But I was such a jerk to all of you. 468 00:18:36,241 --> 00:18:37,323 Why would you help me now? 469 00:18:37,408 --> 00:18:39,534 Lois says you were the one pushing to 470 00:18:39,661 --> 00:18:40,993 Invite us on the trip at all. 471 00:18:41,079 --> 00:18:42,203 Called us your best friends. 472 00:18:42,247 --> 00:18:43,496 And we should've made a better effort to 473 00:18:43,581 --> 00:18:46,165 Get to your bear show, instead of making the trip 474 00:18:46,251 --> 00:18:47,458 All about what we wanted to do. 475 00:18:47,585 --> 00:18:49,460 Yeah, and we left without any of our chargers. 476 00:18:49,546 --> 00:18:52,130 If it was just the blocks, you know, big whoop-dee-doo, 477 00:18:52,257 --> 00:18:53,923 But it was the wires, too. 478 00:18:54,008 --> 00:18:55,424 So, what do you say? 479 00:18:55,510 --> 00:18:57,635 Can we help you fix the cabin, peter? 480 00:18:58,638 --> 00:18:59,679 I'd like that. 481 00:18:59,848 --> 00:19:00,847 Now, let's go chop down 482 00:19:00,974 --> 00:19:02,306 Some ancient pine trees 483 00:19:02,392 --> 00:19:04,809 To save this millionaire's vacation home. 484 00:19:04,894 --> 00:19:06,394 [all] yeah! 485 00:19:08,022 --> 00:19:11,274 The chimney has proved stalwart. 486 00:19:12,152 --> 00:19:13,693 Well, that's preston. 487 00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:15,236 I'm sorry for what I said. 488 00:19:15,363 --> 00:19:18,072 Only true friends would come back to help the way you did, 489 00:19:18,158 --> 00:19:19,782 And that's all that matters. 490 00:19:19,909 --> 00:19:21,826 True friends will also stay 491 00:19:21,953 --> 00:19:23,911 To watch their friend get fired. 492 00:19:24,038 --> 00:19:25,621 Thanks, guys. 493 00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:27,039 I'll probably cry. 494 00:19:27,125 --> 00:19:29,959 That's okay. It'll make a better tiktok. 495 00:19:30,086 --> 00:19:31,294 Griffin, what the hell? 496 00:19:31,379 --> 00:19:33,713 My cabin. It's completely destroyed. 497 00:19:33,798 --> 00:19:37,425 [crying] I'm so sorry, preston, 498 00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:39,594 But you got to know this was completely my fault. 499 00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:41,971 My friends and family were the perfect guests, 500 00:19:42,056 --> 00:19:43,139 And they had nothing to do with it. 501 00:19:43,224 --> 00:19:44,515 If you want to fire me, 502 00:19:44,642 --> 00:19:46,100 Or issue some maine justice 503 00:19:46,144 --> 00:19:47,810 And clamp some lobsters to my nipples, 504 00:19:47,896 --> 00:19:49,437 I understand. 505 00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:53,608 Peter, you don't understand. 506 00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:54,901 I hate it up here. 507 00:19:55,028 --> 00:19:57,478 The small-town pace, the pressure to relax, 508 00:19:57,530 --> 00:20:00,239 The barn owl that pushed my wife down a staircase. 509 00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:02,825 I don't get it. Then why have the cabin at all? 510 00:20:02,952 --> 00:20:05,411 An address in maine allowed me to establish 511 00:20:05,496 --> 00:20:09,081 An ethically dubious, but technically legal shell company. 512 00:20:09,209 --> 00:20:10,791 But now, with the money I'll save 513 00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:13,377 From taking a casualty deduction on the destroyed property, 514 00:20:13,463 --> 00:20:15,129 I won't need that. 515 00:20:16,633 --> 00:20:18,424 [applause] 516 00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:20,927 Hey, preston, I know the cabin's a mess, 517 00:20:21,012 --> 00:20:23,262 But we still got three days in the prize week. 518 00:20:23,348 --> 00:20:26,057 Could we finish out our trip here in maine? Together? 519 00:20:26,175 --> 00:20:27,642 I don't see why not. 520 00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:29,602 [bird calls] 521 00:20:33,650 --> 00:20:36,192 [announcer] maine: A day and a half is probably enough. 522 00:20:41,991 --> 00:20:43,241 Well, we had our troubles, 523 00:20:43,368 --> 00:20:46,369 But I'm glad we're back at home, safe and sound. 524 00:20:46,454 --> 00:20:49,080 Peter, what are you talking about? This is all a dream. 525 00:20:49,165 --> 00:20:51,916 You had a stress heart attack during the egg toss. 526 00:20:52,001 --> 00:20:55,294 [groaning] 527 00:20:55,421 --> 00:20:58,130 Poor darren.