1
00:00:01,210 --> 00:00:04,670
♪ it seems today
that all you see ♪
2
00:00:04,755 --> 00:00:07,715
♪ is violence in movies
and sex on tv ♪
3
00:00:07,883 --> 00:00:11,635
♪ but where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:11,721 --> 00:00:14,638
♪ on which we used to rely? ♪
5
00:00:14,724 --> 00:00:18,058
♪ lucky there's a family guy ♪
6
00:00:18,144 --> 00:00:21,270
♪ lucky there's a man who
positively can do ♪
7
00:00:21,397 --> 00:00:22,980
♪ all the things that make us ♪
8
00:00:23,065 --> 00:00:24,231
♪ laugh and cry ♪
9
00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:30,195
♪ he's... A...
Fam... Ily... Guy! ♪
10
00:00:34,785 --> 00:00:37,453
Thanks for bringing us
to your company picnic, peter.
11
00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:39,288
This is gonna be so much fun.
12
00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:41,665
Yeah, I figured it's
finally time you guys put faces
13
00:00:41,709 --> 00:00:44,084
To the people I've been bitching
about for the past eight years.
14
00:00:44,170 --> 00:00:46,378
Oop, there's charity 5k guy.
15
00:00:46,464 --> 00:00:49,089
Let's run lupus
out of town, huh, guys?
16
00:00:50,801 --> 00:00:52,342
I work with peter now.
17
00:00:52,428 --> 00:00:55,220
There's the guy who started
after me, and was beneath me,
18
00:00:55,264 --> 00:00:57,222
But now he's, like,
higher up than I am.
19
00:00:57,266 --> 00:00:59,725
-Hey, bob.
-Hey, darren.
20
00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:05,022
Thank you all for coming
to today's picnic.
21
00:01:05,066 --> 00:01:08,150
Now, for our main event:
The aerial ovum transfer,
22
00:01:08,235 --> 00:01:11,236
Or, as it's sometimes known,
the egg toss.
23
00:01:11,363 --> 00:01:13,322
This year, as a special prize,
24
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:15,532
The winning team
will receive a five-night stay
25
00:01:15,659 --> 00:01:18,535
At my vacation home
in mooseattackee, maine.
26
00:01:18,662 --> 00:01:20,579
With miles of trails,
it is one of maine's
27
00:01:20,706 --> 00:01:22,539
Premiere hiking destinations.
28
00:01:22,666 --> 00:01:24,792
And you're only
a short bike ride away
29
00:01:24,877 --> 00:01:26,543
From its quaint downtown.
30
00:01:26,629 --> 00:01:31,048
Let your cares melt away as you
paddle across serene lake June.
31
00:01:31,133 --> 00:01:33,008
Peter, that place
in maine is amazing.
32
00:01:33,094 --> 00:01:34,843
It looks
like a stephen king book
33
00:01:34,970 --> 00:01:36,762
Before anything bad happens.
34
00:01:36,889 --> 00:01:39,098
Hi, gary, how's it going?
How's brenda?
35
00:01:39,225 --> 00:01:42,101
Oh, she's great.
Uh, just alive, super alive.
36
00:01:42,144 --> 00:01:44,603
-How are the boys?
-Yep, all alive.
37
00:01:44,730 --> 00:01:46,313
Children and pets all alive
38
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:48,816
And acting
like normal children and pets.
39
00:01:48,901 --> 00:01:51,235
That's great.
H-hey, have you met
40
00:01:51,362 --> 00:01:53,362
That new stranger from not here?
41
00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:56,406
Nope.
See you tomorrow definitely.
42
00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:01,078
Peter,
we got to win this vacation,
43
00:02:01,247 --> 00:02:02,955
But there are
so many other teams.
44
00:02:03,082 --> 00:02:05,207
Relax, lois.
I brought a hard-boiled egg,
45
00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:07,459
So while all the other teams
are getting eliminated,
46
00:02:07,545 --> 00:02:09,670
We can just play
an "angry dad" game of catch.
47
00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:12,631
So the school called to say
they found pot in your locker.
48
00:02:12,716 --> 00:02:14,258
You want to tell me about that?
49
00:02:14,343 --> 00:02:17,177
Ow! I-I'm not sure
what we're doing, peter.
50
00:02:17,221 --> 00:02:19,513
So how's that summer job hunt
coming?
51
00:02:19,682 --> 00:02:22,558
I don't think they're hiring
in front of the tv all day.
52
00:02:22,685 --> 00:02:25,060
Ow! That's too hard.
53
00:02:25,146 --> 00:02:26,478
You know what else is hard?
54
00:02:26,605 --> 00:02:28,689
Waking up next to a woman
you no longer love.
55
00:02:28,774 --> 00:02:30,232
Try that on for size.
56
00:02:31,569 --> 00:02:34,027
[indistinct chatter]
57
00:02:34,113 --> 00:02:36,071
Peter, they've all
been eliminated.
58
00:02:36,157 --> 00:02:38,866
The game is over,
but I think we should talk.
59
00:02:38,951 --> 00:02:41,743
Yes! The griffins
are going to maine.
60
00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:43,704
And if that isn't
the perfect promo
61
00:02:43,873 --> 00:02:46,206
For the middle of a meaningless
vikings-packers game,
62
00:02:46,292 --> 00:02:47,708
I don't know what is.
63
00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:51,128
Announcer: And the players
have gathered around clark.
64
00:02:51,255 --> 00:02:54,506
And we can only hope that
his injury wasn't too serious
65
00:02:54,633 --> 00:02:58,218
And we start to see some
movement in those extremities.
66
00:02:58,345 --> 00:03:01,305
And while we have
this break in the action,
67
00:03:01,432 --> 00:03:04,141
This Sunday
on an all-new family guy,
68
00:03:04,226 --> 00:03:07,186
The griffins are going to maine.
69
00:03:07,271 --> 00:03:11,440
On right after
an all-new bob's burgers.
70
00:03:14,236 --> 00:03:16,528
A family vacation in maine.
71
00:03:16,614 --> 00:03:19,907
My monogrammed canvas bag
is gonna be so excited.
72
00:03:20,034 --> 00:03:21,783
You said it, lois.
73
00:03:21,869 --> 00:03:24,077
I can't wait to get stuffed
with old sunscreens
74
00:03:24,163 --> 00:03:26,079
And emergency tampons.
75
00:03:26,165 --> 00:03:28,081
Yo, a pool table?
76
00:03:28,167 --> 00:03:30,959
Hell ya! I'm gonna be
gettin' all up in that.
77
00:03:31,086 --> 00:03:34,338
How does one get
"all up in" a pool table?
78
00:03:34,465 --> 00:03:36,465
And, wow, look,
it's bigger than I thought.
79
00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:37,883
So many bedrooms.
80
00:03:38,010 --> 00:03:38,926
Yeah, with all that extra space,
81
00:03:39,053 --> 00:03:40,219
We could invite
our friends along.
82
00:03:40,429 --> 00:03:42,971
Quagmire, joe and bonnie,
cleveland and his family.
83
00:03:43,098 --> 00:03:44,848
-The whole gang could come.
-Really?
84
00:03:44,934 --> 00:03:47,059
Do you think
everyone would enjoy it?
85
00:03:47,144 --> 00:03:48,977
Lois, do you know
what's up in maine?
86
00:03:49,021 --> 00:03:50,479
Art's trading post.
87
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:52,189
Ever since I was a kid,
I wanted to go up there
88
00:03:52,274 --> 00:03:53,649
To see the trained bear show.
89
00:03:53,692 --> 00:03:55,901
They ride bikes,
they wear dracula fangs--
90
00:03:55,986 --> 00:03:57,653
Seasonally--
and then there's one part
91
00:03:57,780 --> 00:04:00,239
Where nipsy the brown bear
pretends to smoke a cigar.
92
00:04:00,324 --> 00:04:02,074
And I'm not even kidding.
93
00:04:02,201 --> 00:04:03,450
Ah, I don't know, peter.
94
00:04:03,577 --> 00:04:05,452
It's a lot of people
under one roof.
95
00:04:05,537 --> 00:04:07,663
Come on, lois,
this is our big chance
96
00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:09,581
To yell at kids who aren't ours.
97
00:04:09,667 --> 00:04:11,083
You know what? Let's do it.
98
00:04:11,210 --> 00:04:12,793
I think bonnie's gained
five pounds,
99
00:04:12,962 --> 00:04:14,419
And I want to see her
in a swimsuit.
100
00:04:14,505 --> 00:04:17,214
While we're on the subject
of mrs. Swanson and swimsuits,
101
00:04:17,299 --> 00:04:19,549
Question:
If mrs. Swanson goes swimming,
102
00:04:19,635 --> 00:04:21,802
Then hangs her bathing suit
to dry in the bathroom,
103
00:04:21,929 --> 00:04:24,054
Am I allowed to wring
the water into a cup?
104
00:04:24,139 --> 00:04:25,764
-And do what with it?
-Irrelevant.
105
00:04:25,849 --> 00:04:27,975
Do not concern yourself
with what happens to the water
106
00:04:28,060 --> 00:04:30,769
Once it's in the cup.
Am I allowed?
107
00:04:30,854 --> 00:04:32,854
Uh, I'm gonna say no.
108
00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:35,649
All right, well, the guy
from reddit already paid
109
00:04:35,734 --> 00:04:37,567
For the water, but I'll--
110
00:04:37,695 --> 00:04:39,695
I'll figure something out.
111
00:04:52,751 --> 00:04:55,627
I've been waiting a long time
for this trip, brian.
112
00:04:55,713 --> 00:04:57,212
To come to maine? Huh.
113
00:04:57,298 --> 00:04:58,922
I didn't think you were much
of an outdoorsman.
114
00:04:59,049 --> 00:05:00,632
[scoffs] the outdoors
can get stuffed.
115
00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:02,175
We're near kennebunkport,
116
00:05:02,303 --> 00:05:04,052
Home of the bush family compound
117
00:05:04,179 --> 00:05:06,054
And,
according to dowdy magazine,
118
00:05:06,140 --> 00:05:08,181
The very place
where barbara bush picked
119
00:05:08,267 --> 00:05:10,017
That one haircut 40 years ago
120
00:05:10,102 --> 00:05:12,060
And never looked back. See?
121
00:05:12,104 --> 00:05:14,438
The perfect, coiffed, lady fro.
122
00:05:14,523 --> 00:05:16,815
I hear tell that she brought
a quaker oats box
123
00:05:16,859 --> 00:05:19,067
Into the salon and said, "this."
124
00:05:19,153 --> 00:05:21,778
Uh-oh, no pavement,
lot of rocks and roots.
125
00:05:21,864 --> 00:05:24,114
Good thing joe brought his
126
00:05:24,241 --> 00:05:26,074
New off-road tires!
127
00:05:26,201 --> 00:05:28,118
I didn't pack the tires.
128
00:05:28,287 --> 00:05:30,162
Oh.
129
00:05:30,289 --> 00:05:31,830
Nuts.
130
00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:33,665
All right, gang,
time to head inside.
131
00:05:33,751 --> 00:05:35,000
Now one quick heads-up.
132
00:05:35,127 --> 00:05:37,127
Every room has a lake view
except one.
133
00:05:37,212 --> 00:05:38,337
Somebody's gonna have
to look out
134
00:05:38,464 --> 00:05:40,839
Over that girls' volleyball camp
next door.
135
00:05:40,966 --> 00:05:43,717
Nice serve, stacy.
136
00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:50,474
What did I tell ya, lois?
137
00:05:50,559 --> 00:05:52,392
Look at
all those big smiles and--
138
00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:56,063
Cleveland jr., no wet feet
on the hardwood floor!
139
00:05:56,190 --> 00:05:58,023
This is gonna be a great week.
140
00:05:58,108 --> 00:05:59,941
Hey, peter,
will you call your boss?
141
00:06:00,069 --> 00:06:02,194
For what? I don't want
to bug him already.
142
00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:04,196
He wrote the wi-fi password
in a font
143
00:06:04,281 --> 00:06:07,407
Where the big letter I's and the
l juniors are the same thing.
144
00:06:07,493 --> 00:06:09,534
I can't make
heads or tails of it.
145
00:06:09,620 --> 00:06:12,079
Are you calling preston?
Ask him about the towel sitch.
146
00:06:12,164 --> 00:06:14,331
I could only find three
and you're gonna need those
147
00:06:14,458 --> 00:06:16,416
To clean the soda off
the pool table.
148
00:06:16,502 --> 00:06:18,877
We already spilled
on the pool table?
149
00:06:18,962 --> 00:06:21,463
Yeah, meg was really
gettin' all up in it.
150
00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:24,257
Hey, peter? Uh, someone
either laid a giant turd
151
00:06:24,343 --> 00:06:26,676
Or tried to flush
a russet potato down the toilet.
152
00:06:26,804 --> 00:06:28,387
It's totally clogged.
153
00:06:30,933 --> 00:06:34,393
Announcer:
And clark, still unresponsive,
154
00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:39,064
Being carted off the field
and into an ambulance.
155
00:06:39,149 --> 00:06:44,027
This week's family guy:
Someone lays a giant turd.
156
00:06:49,660 --> 00:06:53,036
It's the single largest
defecate I ever saw.
157
00:06:53,122 --> 00:06:55,789
Should we try flushing it
again as a show of force?
158
00:06:55,958 --> 00:06:58,458
Nah, chris,
that'll only make it angry.
159
00:06:58,627 --> 00:07:01,044
Okay, here's the situation:
A stubborn bm
160
00:07:01,130 --> 00:07:02,838
Is blocking up our main toilet.
161
00:07:02,965 --> 00:07:04,965
I can't find a plunger,
so whoever did it
162
00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:06,842
Needs to get in there
with a dishwashing glove
163
00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,969
And punch it through.
So who was it?
164
00:07:11,056 --> 00:07:14,224
Say, chris, that looks like a
fresh rim of sweat on your hat.
165
00:07:14,309 --> 00:07:16,476
Wouldn't happen to be
"pushing sweat," would it?
166
00:07:16,603 --> 00:07:19,312
What? No!
I was reading a chapter book.
167
00:07:19,398 --> 00:07:21,565
Meg, you're generally gross.
168
00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:23,233
Anything you want to fess up to?
169
00:07:23,318 --> 00:07:26,144
Nope. I'm "dogging it"
this month for the environment.
170
00:07:26,238 --> 00:07:28,071
That means I only go outside.
171
00:07:28,157 --> 00:07:29,364
Saves water, feeds the soil,
172
00:07:29,408 --> 00:07:31,658
Turns a few heads
at the same time.
173
00:07:31,743 --> 00:07:33,368
Okay, this is disgusting.
174
00:07:33,495 --> 00:07:35,078
D-does it really matter
who did it?
175
00:07:35,205 --> 00:07:36,830
I'd kind of like to know.
176
00:07:36,915 --> 00:07:38,874
Yeah, we should
at least make sure
177
00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:40,459
They don't need
medical attention.
178
00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:42,586
Well, I'd like to get on
with my vacation.
179
00:07:42,713 --> 00:07:44,796
There's got to be a plunger
around here somewhere.
180
00:07:44,882 --> 00:07:46,298
Peter, come on, help me look.
181
00:07:46,383 --> 00:07:48,800
Okay, listen up,
we don't have much time.
182
00:07:48,886 --> 00:07:50,886
It was me, peter.
I clogged the toilet.
183
00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:53,472
That was you?
How is that even possible?
184
00:07:53,599 --> 00:07:56,057
[groans] it was all
that fiber-y mom cereal
185
00:07:56,143 --> 00:07:57,476
The view told us to eat.
186
00:07:57,603 --> 00:08:00,353
That turd has joy behar's
fingerprints all over it.
187
00:08:00,439 --> 00:08:03,014
But I need you
to take the fall for me.
188
00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:04,649
Uh, I don't know, lois.
189
00:08:04,776 --> 00:08:06,526
Even for a husky guy like me,
190
00:08:06,612 --> 00:08:07,903
It's shamefully large.
191
00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:10,238
I know!
That's why I need your help.
192
00:08:10,324 --> 00:08:12,324
That is not a poop
a woman can come back from.
193
00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:14,242
Look, you take the blame,
and I'll let you
194
00:08:14,286 --> 00:08:16,411
Get two souvenirs
at the bear show.
195
00:08:16,497 --> 00:08:18,914
It's not gonna be, like,
like, like, books, is it?
196
00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:20,207
No.
197
00:08:20,292 --> 00:08:22,083
All right, everybody, listen up.
198
00:08:22,127 --> 00:08:24,127
I'm the one
who clogged the toilet.
199
00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:26,046
[all clamoring in disgust]
200
00:08:26,131 --> 00:08:28,632
Oh, great! As if that
little slug of yours
201
00:08:28,717 --> 00:08:30,050
Isn't embarrassing enough.
202
00:08:30,177 --> 00:08:32,219
Sorry, I have
to make this believable.
203
00:08:32,387 --> 00:08:34,095
-So it's big?
-Let's...
204
00:08:34,223 --> 00:08:37,224
Let's just
get through this, huh?
205
00:08:41,730 --> 00:08:44,189
[to the tune of "reveille"]
♪ gig-gig-giggity ♪
206
00:08:44,316 --> 00:08:46,191
♪ gig-gig-giggity, gig-gig,
giggity, gee-gee ♪
207
00:08:46,276 --> 00:08:48,151
♪ gig-gig-giggity
gig-gig-giggity, gee-gee. ♪
208
00:08:48,237 --> 00:08:50,278
What the hell is happening?!
209
00:08:50,364 --> 00:08:52,155
Life, peter.
That's what's happening.
210
00:08:52,282 --> 00:08:54,241
I've put together
a whole itinerary of adventures
211
00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:56,993
-For our week.
-Wow, this is very detailed.
212
00:08:57,120 --> 00:09:00,580
"6:27, read '6:27'
on daily schedule."
213
00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:02,123
Right on schedule.
214
00:09:02,209 --> 00:09:04,167
Hey, why's some of this stuff
highlighted in green,
215
00:09:04,294 --> 00:09:06,044
But my bear show is in yellow?
216
00:09:06,129 --> 00:09:07,796
Because the bear show
is priority yellow.
217
00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:10,924
[laughing] a bear, a bear show
would never be priority green.
218
00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:13,468
All right, as long
as it's on there, I guess.
219
00:09:13,554 --> 00:09:15,929
Now to put on a pair of shorts
I never wear at home,
220
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:19,224
But packed for vacation,
hoping they'd magically fit.
221
00:09:22,688 --> 00:09:24,688
[grunting]
222
00:09:27,776 --> 00:09:29,317
[sighs]
223
00:09:29,444 --> 00:09:31,069
Announcer:
Vacation: Let's just pack
224
00:09:31,154 --> 00:09:32,946
The stuff we're sure fits.
225
00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:34,739
[inhales deeply]
226
00:09:34,866 --> 00:09:36,449
[exhales]
227
00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:37,659
You guys smell that?
228
00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:38,994
You smell that air?
229
00:09:39,121 --> 00:09:41,788
[all inhale, exhale]
230
00:09:41,948 --> 00:09:43,707
Peter, you still back there?
231
00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:45,208
I don't hear you
smelling that air.
232
00:09:45,294 --> 00:09:47,294
[panting]
yeah, I'm here.
233
00:09:47,379 --> 00:09:49,296
I'm just having a hard time
on the one bike
234
00:09:49,464 --> 00:09:51,214
That was stored
under the deck all winter
235
00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:53,717
Instead of in the garage.
[sighs]
236
00:09:53,802 --> 00:09:55,385
We've been at this all morning.
237
00:09:55,512 --> 00:09:57,095
Is it time to go
to the bear show yet?
238
00:09:57,264 --> 00:09:58,888
Soon, peter. But before that,
239
00:09:59,016 --> 00:10:02,183
The itinerary has us going
to a must-visit local market
240
00:10:02,352 --> 00:10:05,061
That no local
has ever stepped foot in.
241
00:10:07,024 --> 00:10:08,690
Now, be sure to put
your bikes down in a place
242
00:10:08,817 --> 00:10:12,027
That blocks the path of people
just trying to live their lives.
243
00:10:13,614 --> 00:10:15,155
[crowd clamoring]
244
00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:18,158
We're doing vacation
really good, you guys.
245
00:10:18,201 --> 00:10:20,285
God, I hate these stores.
246
00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:22,078
They're so tiny, so the owner's
247
00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:23,747
Right on top of you
the whole time.
248
00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:25,624
-Can I wrap that for you?
-Hoda kotb!
249
00:10:25,751 --> 00:10:28,126
Oh, you're such a tourist.
Here, follow my lead.
250
00:10:28,211 --> 00:10:30,295
You know how it's
typically rude to talk
251
00:10:30,455 --> 00:10:32,547
-To people about their finances?
-Yeah.
252
00:10:32,633 --> 00:10:34,966
Well, in a small town market,
you can come right out
253
00:10:35,093 --> 00:10:37,677
And ask the owner if he makes
enough money to feed his family.
254
00:10:37,763 --> 00:10:40,055
You just have to do it
in the voice white ladies use
255
00:10:40,223 --> 00:10:42,349
With people
who don't speak english.
256
00:10:42,434 --> 00:10:44,934
Was it a good tourist season,
257
00:10:45,103 --> 00:10:47,354
Or will your children
go without?
258
00:10:47,439 --> 00:10:49,898
This business you've
dedicated your life to
259
00:10:50,025 --> 00:10:51,816
Is very cute to me.
260
00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:53,777
Isn't this fun, peter?
261
00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:56,946
Now don't forget to say "bye"
like the world's biggest ass.
262
00:10:57,074 --> 00:11:01,409
[high-pitched]
bye! Buh-bye, bye.
263
00:11:01,536 --> 00:11:03,328
♪ ♪
264
00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:06,373
How are those burgers
coming along?
265
00:11:06,458 --> 00:11:07,499
Fine, I guess.
266
00:11:07,584 --> 00:11:09,918
Well, thanks for
volunteering to cook.
267
00:11:09,961 --> 00:11:11,044
I didn't volunteer.
268
00:11:11,129 --> 00:11:12,545
Everyone just
called me "grill master"
269
00:11:12,673 --> 00:11:13,880
Until I submitted.
270
00:11:13,965 --> 00:11:16,591
[laughs] spoken like
a true grill master.
271
00:11:16,718 --> 00:11:18,843
Whatever. Hey, everybody,
we got to eat quick
272
00:11:18,929 --> 00:11:20,720
If we're gonna
catch the bear show.
273
00:11:20,806 --> 00:11:23,223
They're kept on a robitussin
and zoloft-heavy diet,
274
00:11:23,308 --> 00:11:24,933
So they fall asleep
pretty early.
275
00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:27,644
Okay, I'll tell chris.
He's down at the dock fishing.
276
00:11:27,771 --> 00:11:30,313
There he is, the bait master.
277
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:33,650
I think I misunderstood
the assignment.
278
00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:35,235
Well, let's see what you caught.
279
00:11:35,320 --> 00:11:37,696
I wouldn't look in the bucket.
280
00:11:42,244 --> 00:11:44,911
I'm sorry,
we closed 20 minutes ago.
281
00:11:44,996 --> 00:11:47,080
What? Wait a minute,
if you closed 20 minutes ago,
282
00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:48,832
Why are you just
flipping the sign now?
283
00:11:48,959 --> 00:11:50,375
Owner said
I had to wait to flip it
284
00:11:50,502 --> 00:11:52,085
Until it would
devastate a fat guy.
285
00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:54,963
I told him he was crazy,
but you look pretty upset.
286
00:11:55,090 --> 00:11:56,589
That's why he's the boss.
287
00:11:56,675 --> 00:11:58,049
What's going on, peter?
288
00:11:58,135 --> 00:11:59,718
They're closed,
that's what's going on.
289
00:11:59,803 --> 00:12:01,970
And now we got to come
all the way back here tomorrow.
290
00:12:02,097 --> 00:12:03,722
Oh, we're actually
closed permanently.
291
00:12:03,849 --> 00:12:06,683
After decades of very valid
animal cruelty complaints,
292
00:12:06,810 --> 00:12:08,435
It was easier to
shut down than to
293
00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:10,645
Keep cleaning fake peta blood
off our clothes.
294
00:12:10,731 --> 00:12:11,771
I'm sorry, what?
295
00:12:11,857 --> 00:12:13,481
Yeah, honestly, it's a miracle
296
00:12:13,608 --> 00:12:15,066
They let us go
as long as we did.
297
00:12:15,152 --> 00:12:17,444
There's not a single license
or permit for this whole thing.
298
00:12:17,571 --> 00:12:21,030
One day, we just started
putting bears on pogo sticks
299
00:12:21,116 --> 00:12:22,657
And no one ever told us to stop.
300
00:12:22,826 --> 00:12:24,075
This can't be happening.
301
00:12:24,119 --> 00:12:26,244
Sorry, you should've
been here earlier
302
00:12:26,288 --> 00:12:28,246
For the bear flash sale.
I was strapping 'em to
303
00:12:28,331 --> 00:12:30,373
People's cars
like christmas trees.
304
00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:32,083
See, that guy got one.
305
00:12:34,004 --> 00:12:36,045
By the end,
we didn't even charge people.
306
00:12:36,173 --> 00:12:38,214
We were just
giving the bears away.
307
00:12:38,300 --> 00:12:39,799
[echoing]
just giving the bears away.
308
00:12:39,885 --> 00:12:42,635
Just giving the bears away.
Just giving the bears away.
309
00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:46,723
Sorry you didn't
see the bears, peter,
310
00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:49,726
But quagmire has us going
blueberry-picking tomorrow.
311
00:12:49,853 --> 00:12:51,102
Maybe you'll see a bear then.
312
00:12:51,188 --> 00:12:53,313
I do not want to
see a wild bear, lois.
313
00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:55,440
I want to see
a unicycle bear in a fez.
314
00:12:55,525 --> 00:12:57,400
You know,
I still don't really get it.
315
00:12:57,527 --> 00:12:58,985
A bear on a unicycle?
316
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:00,195
It sounds kind of dumb.
317
00:13:00,322 --> 00:13:02,322
It's not dumb. It's hilarious
318
00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:04,866
And it's the only thing
I wanted to do this entire trip.
319
00:13:04,993 --> 00:13:06,409
You know,
if I remember correctly,
320
00:13:06,578 --> 00:13:08,286
Part of our deal was
I get two souvenirs
321
00:13:08,413 --> 00:13:10,205
From the bear show.
Well, I'm looking around
322
00:13:10,332 --> 00:13:12,999
And I don't see
any plastic bear heads on sticks
323
00:13:13,084 --> 00:13:14,334
That I can make bite things.
324
00:13:14,419 --> 00:13:16,753
That means I get to
tell everyone it was you
325
00:13:16,797 --> 00:13:17,796
Who clogged the toilet.
326
00:13:17,923 --> 00:13:19,130
[all gasp]
327
00:13:19,257 --> 00:13:21,216
Lois, that was you?
328
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:23,301
But it had such a man stink.
329
00:13:23,428 --> 00:13:24,928
You know what, donna?
Going in the bathroom after you
330
00:13:25,013 --> 00:13:26,846
Ain't exactly a walk
through the rose garden,
331
00:13:26,932 --> 00:13:28,097
So I'd be quiet right about now.
332
00:13:28,183 --> 00:13:29,474
Don't listen to him, donna.
333
00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:32,185
We think your movements smell
very lady-like.
334
00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:33,561
Isn't that right, kids?
335
00:13:33,647 --> 00:13:35,772
Oh, of course, 'cause
you all agree on everything.
336
00:13:35,941 --> 00:13:38,024
Just the perfect family,
aren't you?
337
00:13:38,109 --> 00:13:40,068
News flash:
Normal families fight
338
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:42,111
And like spending time
away from each other.
339
00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:45,198
Sir? Sir? I'm gonna need you
to calm down, sir.
340
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,075
Stop acting like
a real cop, joe.
341
00:13:47,202 --> 00:13:48,409
Your right leg is in a knot.
342
00:13:48,537 --> 00:13:49,953
Uh, yeah,
343
00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:50,995
They got a little tangled
344
00:13:51,122 --> 00:13:52,247
When bonnie dipped me
345
00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:53,623
In the lake.
346
00:13:53,708 --> 00:13:56,042
God, I can't believe I thought
it'd be a good idea
347
00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:57,335
To bring you people
on this trip.
348
00:13:57,420 --> 00:13:59,420
The only reason I still
talk to any of you
349
00:13:59,548 --> 00:14:00,839
Is 'cause
we live on the same street.
350
00:14:01,049 --> 00:14:04,092
And after this week, I am
seriously considering a move.
351
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:07,178
Peter, peter. I'm sorry,
but 7:05 sunset,
352
00:14:07,264 --> 00:14:09,347
So I need to simulate more
trumpet songs with "giggity."
353
00:14:09,432 --> 00:14:12,642
[to the tune of "taps"]
♪ giggity ♪
354
00:14:12,727 --> 00:14:15,019
♪ giggity. ♪
355
00:14:15,105 --> 00:14:16,312
Give me that thing.
356
00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:18,106
Oh, no.
How will you distract yourself
357
00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:20,024
From the fact that
you're gonna die alone
358
00:14:20,110 --> 00:14:21,651
Without your precious itinerary?
359
00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:23,278
-Whoa.
-Aah! Son of a--
360
00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:24,445
[gasps]
361
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:28,366
[all gasp]
362
00:14:30,078 --> 00:14:32,328
[panicked shouting]
363
00:14:33,623 --> 00:14:34,664
[clamoring]
364
00:14:37,335 --> 00:14:39,377
Oh, my god. The cabin's on fire.
365
00:14:39,462 --> 00:14:40,503
Heavens.
366
00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:49,762
Hey, thanks for coming out.
Guess all that's left to do
367
00:14:49,848 --> 00:14:51,180
Is get a picture of me
in the truck
368
00:14:51,308 --> 00:14:53,433
And, uh, you fellas
can be on your way.
369
00:14:55,061 --> 00:14:56,477
Oh, god, look at this place.
370
00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:58,688
If preston finds out
I torched his house,
371
00:14:58,773 --> 00:14:59,814
I'm screwed, you guys.
372
00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:01,524
We got to fix this fast.
373
00:15:02,602 --> 00:15:04,193
But I'm sure it's nothing
374
00:15:04,321 --> 00:15:06,738
A resourceful group of
best friends like us
375
00:15:06,865 --> 00:15:07,739
Can't handle, right?
376
00:15:07,866 --> 00:15:09,532
♪ ♪
377
00:15:11,828 --> 00:15:14,621
Look, I know peter said
some very mean things,
378
00:15:14,664 --> 00:15:17,582
But what's important right now
is that no one was hurt.
379
00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:19,459
That's not entirely true, lois.
380
00:15:19,544 --> 00:15:22,712
Your reusable grocery bags
didn't make it.
381
00:15:22,756 --> 00:15:24,172
[scoffs] what?
382
00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:27,166
Your bags, they were
lost in the fire.
383
00:15:27,302 --> 00:15:29,135
No. No.
384
00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:30,303
No!
385
00:15:30,388 --> 00:15:31,804
[grunts]
386
00:15:31,890 --> 00:15:32,764
-[clamoring]
-you son of a bitch,
387
00:15:32,933 --> 00:15:33,932
Peter griffin!
388
00:15:34,017 --> 00:15:35,892
What have you done?
389
00:15:36,019 --> 00:15:37,477
I will never
forgive you for this.
390
00:15:37,562 --> 00:15:38,811
Do you hear me?
391
00:15:38,897 --> 00:15:42,398
[sobbing]
I will never forgive you.
392
00:15:43,652 --> 00:15:45,693
♪ ♪
393
00:15:47,906 --> 00:15:50,073
Well, peter,
you made it crystal clear
394
00:15:50,158 --> 00:15:53,201
We're no longer wanted,
so we'll leave you be.
395
00:15:53,370 --> 00:15:55,036
Yeah, you can deal with
this mess on your own.
396
00:15:55,163 --> 00:15:56,996
Let's go, everybody.
397
00:16:00,001 --> 00:16:01,960
[car doors closing]
398
00:16:02,087 --> 00:16:03,920
[engines starting]
399
00:16:04,038 --> 00:16:05,088
Why aren't we moving?
400
00:16:05,173 --> 00:16:06,547
We got to wait for joe
401
00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:07,799
To back out of the driveway
402
00:16:07,884 --> 00:16:09,384
'cause he pulled in last.
403
00:16:09,427 --> 00:16:12,303
Sorry. If I knew you were doing
a big, dramatic exit,
404
00:16:12,389 --> 00:16:15,098
I would've rearranged the cars
this morning.
405
00:16:15,183 --> 00:16:17,934
You mind if I wait till I'm
all the way in to tell you off?
406
00:16:18,019 --> 00:16:20,144
Yeah, that's fine.
407
00:16:26,528 --> 00:16:28,569
Shame on you, peter.
408
00:16:28,697 --> 00:16:29,779
It is people like you who--
409
00:16:29,864 --> 00:16:30,822
[car horn honking]
410
00:16:30,949 --> 00:16:31,948
[quagmire]
go!
411
00:16:32,033 --> 00:16:34,200
♪ ♪
412
00:16:35,704 --> 00:16:37,078
All right, peter, don't panic.
413
00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:38,496
You got till the end of
the week to fix this.
414
00:16:38,581 --> 00:16:41,749
Maybe there's an online
tutorial that'll help.
415
00:16:41,835 --> 00:16:43,167
What's going on, guys?
416
00:16:43,253 --> 00:16:45,294
I'm corey, from "corey's world."
417
00:16:45,380 --> 00:16:47,296
Today I'm gonna show you
how to patch a big hole
418
00:16:47,382 --> 00:16:49,966
In your boss's cabin.
Here's what you'll need:
419
00:16:50,051 --> 00:16:52,218
[fading]
a drywall saw, tape measure...
420
00:16:52,303 --> 00:16:53,261
[peter]
shoot, what did he say?
421
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:54,971
Turn off the power so you don't
422
00:16:55,056 --> 00:16:57,765
Drill into a live wire
like my stepdad todd.
423
00:16:57,851 --> 00:16:59,100
Now our spoons move
424
00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:00,184
When he walks in the kitchen.
425
00:17:00,270 --> 00:17:01,185
To do that...
426
00:17:01,271 --> 00:17:03,271
[peter]
gerbils can't sing opera.
427
00:17:03,398 --> 00:17:04,605
Damn it, peter, focus.
428
00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:06,065
-Your job is on the lin--
-[mouse button clicks]
429
00:17:06,151 --> 00:17:09,027
[singing "o sole mio"]
430
00:17:12,282 --> 00:17:15,491
[laughs] aw, touché,
"recommended videos."
431
00:17:15,577 --> 00:17:17,326
I know you're leading me
down a rabbit hole
432
00:17:17,412 --> 00:17:20,413
To isis beheadings,
but this was a bull's-eye.
433
00:17:20,540 --> 00:17:22,165
[phone rings]
434
00:17:22,333 --> 00:17:24,417
Preston. I wasn't
expecting to hear from you
435
00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:25,418
For a couple of days.
436
00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:27,128
Yes, well, I realized
437
00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:29,672
I only provided three towels
for the entire cabin,
438
00:17:29,799 --> 00:17:31,883
So I'm on my way
to deliver more.
439
00:17:31,968 --> 00:17:34,552
Oh, you don't have to come all
the way up here just for that.
440
00:17:34,637 --> 00:17:36,012
Unfortunately, I do.
441
00:17:36,097 --> 00:17:38,848
My ocd won't allow me to stop...
[clicks tongue] clicking
442
00:17:38,975 --> 00:17:41,100
Until the cabin has 15 towels.
443
00:17:41,144 --> 00:17:42,643
Well, I should let you go.
444
00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:45,146
A new car is in front of me
and I need to... [clicks tongue]
445
00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:47,982
Do math problems
with its license plate number.
446
00:17:48,026 --> 00:17:50,693
♪ ♪
447
00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:54,363
All right, everything I need to
get out of this mess
448
00:17:54,449 --> 00:17:56,824
Is right here.
Power drill, level,
449
00:17:56,868 --> 00:17:58,576
Circular saw. Perfect.
450
00:17:58,703 --> 00:18:00,912
How can preston fire me
451
00:18:01,039 --> 00:18:02,580
If he can't get inside?
452
00:18:02,707 --> 00:18:03,706
[wind gusts]
453
00:18:03,833 --> 00:18:05,249
Ah! My defenses are down.
454
00:18:05,335 --> 00:18:06,542
-[car approaching]
-oh, no.
455
00:18:06,628 --> 00:18:07,919
He's here. [sighs]
456
00:18:08,004 --> 00:18:10,296
Well, I guess it's time to
face the music.
457
00:18:14,344 --> 00:18:15,760
What are you guys doing here?
458
00:18:15,887 --> 00:18:17,637
We came back to help you, peter.
459
00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:19,347
And it's not just us.
460
00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:22,225
♪ ♪
461
00:18:25,730 --> 00:18:26,646
Did we time it right?
462
00:18:26,731 --> 00:18:28,189
Did you say "not just us"
463
00:18:28,316 --> 00:18:29,690
Before we pulled over
the horizon?
464
00:18:29,776 --> 00:18:31,142
Yeah, it was perfect.
465
00:18:31,194 --> 00:18:32,777
Yes. That is why we practiced
466
00:18:32,862 --> 00:18:34,070
In the walmart parking lot.
467
00:18:34,155 --> 00:18:36,155
But I was
such a jerk to all of you.
468
00:18:36,241 --> 00:18:37,323
Why would you help me now?
469
00:18:37,408 --> 00:18:39,534
Lois says you were the one
pushing to
470
00:18:39,661 --> 00:18:40,993
Invite us on the trip at all.
471
00:18:41,079 --> 00:18:42,203
Called us your best friends.
472
00:18:42,247 --> 00:18:43,496
And we should've
made a better effort to
473
00:18:43,581 --> 00:18:46,165
Get to your bear show,
instead of making the trip
474
00:18:46,251 --> 00:18:47,458
All about what we wanted to do.
475
00:18:47,585 --> 00:18:49,460
Yeah, and we left without
any of our chargers.
476
00:18:49,546 --> 00:18:52,130
If it was just the blocks,
you know, big whoop-dee-doo,
477
00:18:52,257 --> 00:18:53,923
But it was the wires, too.
478
00:18:54,008 --> 00:18:55,424
So, what do you say?
479
00:18:55,510 --> 00:18:57,635
Can we help you
fix the cabin, peter?
480
00:18:58,638 --> 00:18:59,679
I'd like that.
481
00:18:59,848 --> 00:19:00,847
Now, let's go chop down
482
00:19:00,974 --> 00:19:02,306
Some ancient pine trees
483
00:19:02,392 --> 00:19:04,809
To save this millionaire's
vacation home.
484
00:19:04,894 --> 00:19:06,394
[all] yeah!
485
00:19:08,022 --> 00:19:11,274
The chimney has proved stalwart.
486
00:19:12,152 --> 00:19:13,693
Well, that's preston.
487
00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:15,236
I'm sorry for what I said.
488
00:19:15,363 --> 00:19:18,072
Only true friends would come
back to help the way you did,
489
00:19:18,158 --> 00:19:19,782
And that's all that matters.
490
00:19:19,909 --> 00:19:21,826
True friends will also stay
491
00:19:21,953 --> 00:19:23,911
To watch their friend get fired.
492
00:19:24,038 --> 00:19:25,621
Thanks, guys.
493
00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:27,039
I'll probably cry.
494
00:19:27,125 --> 00:19:29,959
That's okay.
It'll make a better tiktok.
495
00:19:30,086 --> 00:19:31,294
Griffin, what the hell?
496
00:19:31,379 --> 00:19:33,713
My cabin.
It's completely destroyed.
497
00:19:33,798 --> 00:19:37,425
[crying] I'm so sorry, preston,
498
00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:39,594
But you got to know this was
completely my fault.
499
00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:41,971
My friends and family
were the perfect guests,
500
00:19:42,056 --> 00:19:43,139
And they had
nothing to do with it.
501
00:19:43,224 --> 00:19:44,515
If you want to fire me,
502
00:19:44,642 --> 00:19:46,100
Or issue some maine justice
503
00:19:46,144 --> 00:19:47,810
And clamp some lobsters
to my nipples,
504
00:19:47,896 --> 00:19:49,437
I understand.
505
00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:53,608
Peter, you don't understand.
506
00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:54,901
I hate it up here.
507
00:19:55,028 --> 00:19:57,478
The small-town pace,
the pressure to relax,
508
00:19:57,530 --> 00:20:00,239
The barn owl that pushed
my wife down a staircase.
509
00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:02,825
I don't get it.
Then why have the cabin at all?
510
00:20:02,952 --> 00:20:05,411
An address in maine
allowed me to establish
511
00:20:05,496 --> 00:20:09,081
An ethically dubious, but
technically legal shell company.
512
00:20:09,209 --> 00:20:10,791
But now,
with the money I'll save
513
00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:13,377
From taking a casualty deduction
on the destroyed property,
514
00:20:13,463 --> 00:20:15,129
I won't need that.
515
00:20:16,633 --> 00:20:18,424
[applause]
516
00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:20,927
Hey, preston,
I know the cabin's a mess,
517
00:20:21,012 --> 00:20:23,262
But we still got
three days in the prize week.
518
00:20:23,348 --> 00:20:26,057
Could we finish out our trip
here in maine? Together?
519
00:20:26,175 --> 00:20:27,642
I don't see why not.
520
00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:29,602
[bird calls]
521
00:20:33,650 --> 00:20:36,192
[announcer]
maine: A day and a half
is probably enough.
522
00:20:41,991 --> 00:20:43,241
Well, we had our troubles,
523
00:20:43,368 --> 00:20:46,369
But I'm glad we're back at home,
safe and sound.
524
00:20:46,454 --> 00:20:49,080
Peter, what are you talking
about? This is all a dream.
525
00:20:49,165 --> 00:20:51,916
You had a stress heart attack
during the egg toss.
526
00:20:52,001 --> 00:20:55,294
[groaning]
527
00:20:55,421 --> 00:20:58,130
Poor darren.