1 00:00:31,720 --> 00:00:34,929 ♪ it seems today that all you see ♪ 2 00:00:35,015 --> 00:00:38,141 ♪ is violence in movies and sex on tv ♪ 3 00:00:38,310 --> 00:00:41,853 ♪ but where are those good old-fashioned values ♪ 4 00:00:41,938 --> 00:00:44,856 ♪ on which we used to rely? ♪ 5 00:00:44,941 --> 00:00:48,318 ♪ lucky there's a family guy ♪ 6 00:00:48,403 --> 00:00:51,446 ♪ lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪ 7 00:00:51,573 --> 00:00:53,198 ♪ all the things that make us ♪ 8 00:00:53,283 --> 00:00:54,449 ♪ laugh and cry ♪ 9 00:00:54,576 --> 00:01:00,413 ♪ he's... A... Fam... Ily... Guy! ♪ 10 00:01:06,922 --> 00:01:08,004 Boy, everybody's here. 11 00:01:08,089 --> 00:01:09,464 Why do you think we're gathering? 12 00:01:09,591 --> 00:01:12,050 This isn't about the soiled pants in the toilet, right? 13 00:01:12,135 --> 00:01:13,301 'cause I hadn't heard about that. 14 00:01:13,386 --> 00:01:14,886 Good morning, employees. 15 00:01:14,971 --> 00:01:16,888 As some of you can tell by my face, 16 00:01:16,973 --> 00:01:18,306 I have some exciting news. 17 00:01:18,391 --> 00:01:21,017 But first, a pair of husky-size green pants were found 18 00:01:21,102 --> 00:01:23,478 In the men's room, positively destroyed. 19 00:01:23,605 --> 00:01:25,188 (whispers): That's what I hadn't heard about. 20 00:01:25,315 --> 00:01:26,856 Now the exciting news. 21 00:01:26,942 --> 00:01:29,192 The brewery is transitioning to an open floor plan 22 00:01:29,277 --> 00:01:31,903 And will be called the pawtucket patriot campus. 23 00:01:31,988 --> 00:01:34,739 To help explain the transition to our futuristic workplace, 24 00:01:34,866 --> 00:01:36,783 I'd like to share a video from our investor, 25 00:01:36,868 --> 00:01:39,994 The confusingly charismatic wework lunatic. 26 00:01:40,121 --> 00:01:42,288 Hey, I'm the guy from wework. 27 00:01:42,415 --> 00:01:44,249 My foremost goal is to facilitate 28 00:01:44,376 --> 00:01:46,918 An experiential bandwidth of synergy. 29 00:01:47,003 --> 00:01:49,003 Hammock desks, scooter desks, 30 00:01:49,089 --> 00:01:51,297 And the world's first desk-desk. 31 00:01:51,466 --> 00:01:54,300 The only desk that functions as a working desk. 32 00:01:54,386 --> 00:01:57,345 I have been the wework lunatic, please don't google me. 33 00:01:57,430 --> 00:01:59,681 Our new office will also have 34 00:01:59,766 --> 00:02:01,683 A lady chef who only makes vegan food, 35 00:02:01,768 --> 00:02:04,185 Pinball machines, and nursing pods. 36 00:02:04,271 --> 00:02:07,188 Lastly, as we transition to our new open floor plan, 37 00:02:07,274 --> 00:02:08,564 The brewery will be closed 38 00:02:08,692 --> 00:02:10,316 For the next two months for construction. 39 00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:11,442 Yes, griffin? 40 00:02:11,569 --> 00:02:15,446 Are the nursing pods, l-like, for anyone? 41 00:02:19,369 --> 00:02:21,286 If I ordered a whole cornish game hen, 42 00:02:21,371 --> 00:02:22,412 Would anyone have any? 43 00:02:22,497 --> 00:02:24,330 I'm in for a wing. What's the occasion? 44 00:02:24,457 --> 00:02:26,291 I just found out the brewery's closing 45 00:02:26,376 --> 00:02:27,959 So they can turn it into the kind of workplace 46 00:02:28,044 --> 00:02:29,836 You only see on tv shows. 47 00:02:29,963 --> 00:02:31,587 Work's been crazy for me, too. 48 00:02:31,673 --> 00:02:33,840 We have this case-- guy died on his birthday, 49 00:02:33,925 --> 00:02:35,383 And-- get this-- his family had gotten him 50 00:02:35,468 --> 00:02:36,551 An ice cream cake. 51 00:02:36,636 --> 00:02:38,553 You know, the kind with ice cream inside 52 00:02:38,638 --> 00:02:39,762 As the cake part? 53 00:02:39,889 --> 00:02:41,556 (laughs) 54 00:02:41,641 --> 00:02:44,225 Wild stuff. So I'm at the scene... 55 00:02:44,311 --> 00:02:46,185 This story is already too complicated and boring. 56 00:02:46,271 --> 00:02:47,353 Peter, take over. 57 00:02:47,439 --> 00:02:49,063 My amazon guy once delivered batteries 58 00:02:49,190 --> 00:02:51,357 -To pat sajak. -No way! 59 00:02:51,401 --> 00:02:53,609 How did he know there were batteries in the box? 60 00:02:53,778 --> 00:02:55,111 You know, whenever they ship a battery, 61 00:02:55,238 --> 00:02:57,030 They got to put that little warning label on the box? 62 00:02:57,157 --> 00:02:58,614 That's how. 63 00:02:58,742 --> 00:03:00,575 It could've just been something with a battery in it. 64 00:03:00,702 --> 00:03:02,535 No, he said he shook it real hard. 65 00:03:02,704 --> 00:03:04,537 I-I think the focus of this story is 66 00:03:04,622 --> 00:03:06,748 More pat sajak than the battery part. 67 00:03:06,875 --> 00:03:10,501 Hold on. There's no way that story was better than mine. 68 00:03:12,505 --> 00:03:14,672 Hey, brian. What's all this? 69 00:03:14,758 --> 00:03:16,424 Oh, just following in the rich tradition 70 00:03:16,509 --> 00:03:18,051 Of hemingway and faulkner 71 00:03:18,169 --> 00:03:19,761 And putting a little damage on the old liver. 72 00:03:19,888 --> 00:03:21,179 Another rosé, brian? 73 00:03:21,306 --> 00:03:22,555 Put a spritz on it. 74 00:03:22,640 --> 00:03:26,342 So, is, uh, watching tiktoks of underage girls 75 00:03:26,394 --> 00:03:28,394 Also part of your writing process? 76 00:03:28,480 --> 00:03:31,647 The best writing happens when you're not actually writing. 77 00:03:31,775 --> 00:03:33,691 I just wish my muse would speak to me. 78 00:03:33,777 --> 00:03:36,527 I'm having a tough time finding an idea for my next novel. 79 00:03:36,696 --> 00:03:40,031 Well, I'd tell you about one of my murder cases, 80 00:03:40,116 --> 00:03:42,408 But apparently I'm a bad storyteller. 81 00:03:42,535 --> 00:03:45,411 -Murder case? -Oh, yeah, we had one last year. 82 00:03:45,538 --> 00:03:47,705 All signs pointed to the husband. 83 00:03:47,791 --> 00:03:49,457 -What happened? -It was the husband. 84 00:03:49,542 --> 00:03:52,001 You know, we have a whole file of cases in quahog 85 00:03:52,087 --> 00:03:54,003 That would make great stories. 86 00:03:54,130 --> 00:03:56,422 A lot of murdered women out there, bri. 87 00:03:56,508 --> 00:03:58,633 Half of them named britney, half of them named lacey. 88 00:03:58,718 --> 00:04:01,177 That's one piece of advice I always give young parents: 89 00:04:01,304 --> 00:04:02,970 Don't name them britney or lacey. 90 00:04:03,056 --> 00:04:04,180 Yeah, sad stuff. 91 00:04:04,307 --> 00:04:06,140 You know, true crime is huge right now. 92 00:04:06,226 --> 00:04:07,642 You could be sitting on a gold mine. 93 00:04:07,685 --> 00:04:09,102 A gold mine, huh? 94 00:04:09,187 --> 00:04:12,397 And this whole day I thought it was just a smushed dook. 95 00:04:14,984 --> 00:04:17,193 Announcer (on tv): We now return to curb your enthusiasm, 96 00:04:17,278 --> 00:04:20,655 Where jeff garlin just repeats everything larry says. 97 00:04:20,782 --> 00:04:22,573 So, I put on the shirt. 98 00:04:22,742 --> 00:04:24,492 You put on the shirt! 99 00:04:24,619 --> 00:04:25,910 I paid for it. 100 00:04:25,995 --> 00:04:27,578 You paid for it! 101 00:04:27,747 --> 00:04:29,997 I'm starting to think you're, uh, 102 00:04:30,125 --> 00:04:32,041 The weakest link in the cast. 103 00:04:32,127 --> 00:04:34,585 Easily the weakest link! 104 00:04:34,671 --> 00:04:37,296 Peter, the bank called to say we're overdrawn, 105 00:04:37,424 --> 00:04:39,298 And the credit card company sent us a letter 106 00:04:39,426 --> 00:04:41,551 That just says: "bitch better have my money." 107 00:04:41,636 --> 00:04:42,802 Visa sent that? 108 00:04:42,929 --> 00:04:44,554 God, they can do whatever they want in delaware. 109 00:04:44,639 --> 00:04:46,514 Thanks for nothing, sleepy joe. 110 00:04:46,641 --> 00:04:49,308 I wonder if this has anything to do with me not getting paid 111 00:04:49,394 --> 00:04:51,018 During the brewery renovations. 112 00:04:51,146 --> 00:04:53,354 Wh-what do you mean "not getting paid"? 113 00:04:53,440 --> 00:04:55,189 Well, preston said we're all transitioning 114 00:04:55,233 --> 00:04:56,899 To being independent contractors. 115 00:04:56,985 --> 00:04:58,943 The downside is we're losing our health insurance, 116 00:04:59,028 --> 00:05:01,904 But there's gonna be a pinball machine in the break room. 117 00:05:01,990 --> 00:05:03,781 Peter, we can't afford to go two months 118 00:05:03,867 --> 00:05:05,408 Without your paycheck. 119 00:05:05,493 --> 00:05:07,660 You're gonna have to find a job in the meantime. 120 00:05:07,745 --> 00:05:10,621 Lois, don't worry. I got it all figured out. 121 00:05:10,748 --> 00:05:13,207 (shoes tapping) 122 00:05:21,843 --> 00:05:23,968 "dear mr. Griffin, we regret to inform you 123 00:05:24,137 --> 00:05:26,220 That we cannot offer you a space." 124 00:05:27,307 --> 00:05:30,475 -(shoes tapping) -(singsongy): Another big dance check in the mail. 125 00:05:30,560 --> 00:05:34,312 I was just five years away from three figures a month. 126 00:05:34,439 --> 00:05:36,606 (shoes tapping slowly) 127 00:05:41,988 --> 00:05:43,112 Joe, this stuff is great. 128 00:05:43,239 --> 00:05:45,406 Yep, one man's murdered, estranged wife 129 00:05:45,492 --> 00:05:46,991 Is another man's treasure. 130 00:05:47,076 --> 00:05:50,286 Brian, I'm gonna have to ask you to put down the severed limb. 131 00:05:50,413 --> 00:05:51,871 I brought this from home. 132 00:05:51,998 --> 00:05:53,831 Drop it. Drop it! 133 00:05:53,917 --> 00:05:57,001 Ah, damn it, you said "drop it," so now I got to drop it. 134 00:05:57,128 --> 00:05:59,879 You know, we should team up and write a true crime novel. 135 00:06:00,006 --> 00:06:01,130 You don't happen to have any cases 136 00:06:01,216 --> 00:06:03,007 Featuring pretty blonde women, do you? 137 00:06:03,176 --> 00:06:04,550 No, those get solved pretty quickly. 138 00:06:04,677 --> 00:06:07,762 This victim was brunette and a little heavy. 139 00:06:07,889 --> 00:06:09,347 Okay, getting warmer. 140 00:06:09,432 --> 00:06:12,183 We'll just change a few key details so people care. 141 00:06:12,268 --> 00:06:14,185 Gutierrez? Nope, gordon. 142 00:06:14,303 --> 00:06:16,145 Murdered on an indian reservation? 143 00:06:16,231 --> 00:06:17,522 Let's try beverly hills. 144 00:06:17,690 --> 00:06:20,358 I'm thinking we go novel, podcast, docuseries, 145 00:06:20,443 --> 00:06:22,276 Then full-blown blockbuster. 146 00:06:22,362 --> 00:06:25,071 But we'd also be doing this for the families, right? 147 00:06:25,156 --> 00:06:26,564 Is that a new streaming platform? 148 00:06:26,616 --> 00:06:28,324 No, like, the families of the victims? 149 00:06:28,409 --> 00:06:29,575 Oh, right. Yeah, sure. 150 00:06:29,786 --> 00:06:32,161 In fact, we'll give them a sliver of the proceeds. 151 00:06:32,330 --> 00:06:34,288 And I'll give the fictional version 152 00:06:34,374 --> 00:06:35,873 Of their daughter bigger boobs. 153 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:37,542 Like-like real heavy naturals. 154 00:06:37,585 --> 00:06:40,836 Oh, yeah, that sounds like a good compromise. 155 00:06:44,759 --> 00:06:46,467 Your special cart, mrs. G. 156 00:06:46,553 --> 00:06:49,095 Just gave the wheels a fresh coat of wd-40. 157 00:06:49,180 --> 00:06:51,472 Why, thank you, james. 158 00:06:52,642 --> 00:06:55,851 Oh, roberto, if you weren't missing half an arm, 159 00:06:55,979 --> 00:06:57,270 I'd definitely consider it. 160 00:06:57,355 --> 00:06:59,897 Oh, how's the 6029s today, hmm? 161 00:07:00,024 --> 00:07:02,275 Oh, mrs. Lois, very fresh. 162 00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:04,026 What's she talking about, mommy? 163 00:07:04,153 --> 00:07:05,861 (laughs) kale, dear. 164 00:07:05,947 --> 00:07:08,489 It's insider speak for kale. 165 00:07:14,205 --> 00:07:15,997 That can't possibly be a thing. 166 00:07:16,082 --> 00:07:18,624 Let me just find someone to make sure. 167 00:07:21,045 --> 00:07:24,338 Oh, looks like someone got pulled from the night shift 168 00:07:24,424 --> 00:07:27,133 'cause I've never seen this free sample. 169 00:07:28,553 --> 00:07:30,845 -Peter?! -Man (over speakers): Ladies and gentlemen, 170 00:07:30,972 --> 00:07:32,722 We have a plot twist on aisle four. 171 00:07:32,890 --> 00:07:35,391 I'm the assistant manager who thinks work should be fun, 172 00:07:35,476 --> 00:07:37,518 And definitely not a corporate spy 173 00:07:37,687 --> 00:07:39,270 Here to keep unions from forming. 174 00:07:39,397 --> 00:07:41,105 But now that we're talking about it, 175 00:07:41,232 --> 00:07:42,565 Can you imagine if you had a grievance 176 00:07:42,650 --> 00:07:44,609 And couldn't talk to me directly? 177 00:07:44,736 --> 00:07:46,068 Anyway, I'm elliot, 178 00:07:46,154 --> 00:07:47,528 And I'm paying close attention 179 00:07:47,614 --> 00:07:49,864 To who posts what on the break room cork board. 180 00:08:22,590 --> 00:08:25,289 ♪i've got home internet from t-mobile.♪ 181 00:08:26,025 --> 00:08:28,856 ♪it only costs $50 bucks at t-mobile.♪ 182 00:08:29,691 --> 00:08:31,523 ♪just one cord to set up.♪ 183 00:08:31,525 --> 00:08:34,556 ♪say goodbye to that truck.♪ 184 00:08:34,558 --> 00:08:37,289 ♪oh, what a beautiful mornin'...♪ 185 00:08:37,291 --> 00:08:39,989 ♪oh, what a beautiful day...♪ 186 00:08:41,158 --> 00:08:44,589 ♪they won't raise your rates at t-mobile...♪ 187 00:08:44,591 --> 00:08:47,289 ♪you'll get a great deal every day!♪ 188 00:08:47,291 --> 00:08:48,589 Home internet from t-mobile... 189 00:08:48,591 --> 00:08:49,889 Just $50 bucks a month. 190 00:09:25,883 --> 00:09:27,383 Peter, what are you doing here? 191 00:09:27,510 --> 00:09:29,134 You told me to get a job, and they were hiring. 192 00:09:29,262 --> 00:09:30,094 I love it here! 193 00:09:30,221 --> 00:09:31,262 Plus, they let me joke around 194 00:09:31,347 --> 00:09:33,555 With the wells fargo guys who work here. 195 00:09:33,641 --> 00:09:36,392 Yes, I'd like to make a deposit, please. 196 00:09:36,477 --> 00:09:39,270 Is it another 100 grand chocolate bar? 197 00:09:39,355 --> 00:09:41,230 Okay, so I've had you before. 198 00:09:41,274 --> 00:09:44,191 Peter, the grocery store is kind of my domain. 199 00:09:44,277 --> 00:09:46,068 While I'm glad you got a job, 200 00:09:46,153 --> 00:09:47,987 I don't love that you got one here. 201 00:09:48,072 --> 00:09:49,446 Don't worry. You won't even know I'm here. 202 00:09:49,573 --> 00:09:50,990 Unless you're near the front door, 203 00:09:51,075 --> 00:09:52,825 Which I can open with the force. 204 00:09:52,910 --> 00:09:54,994 Excuse me, where are the peanuts? 205 00:09:55,079 --> 00:09:56,412 Aisle seven. 206 00:09:56,539 --> 00:09:58,497 Peter, peanuts are on aisle two. 207 00:09:58,582 --> 00:09:59,748 Eh, I just tell 'em whatever number, 208 00:09:59,834 --> 00:10:02,293 And then I disappear into the produce mist. 209 00:10:04,046 --> 00:10:05,587 Peter? Peter? 210 00:10:05,673 --> 00:10:10,509 Peter (echoing): There was never peter, only loose carrots. 211 00:10:13,306 --> 00:10:16,265 The body was discovered around 9:00 p.M. 212 00:10:16,392 --> 00:10:19,226 Unfortunately, I couldn't make it down to the crime scene 213 00:10:19,312 --> 00:10:20,769 Because there were no ramps. 214 00:10:20,855 --> 00:10:22,229 Okay, I'm gonna write: 215 00:10:22,315 --> 00:10:24,189 "tonight, all the streets in this town 216 00:10:24,275 --> 00:10:25,691 Were a dead end." 217 00:10:25,776 --> 00:10:27,234 I never saw the body. 218 00:10:27,278 --> 00:10:29,361 It was cold, so they sent me on a coffee run. 219 00:10:29,488 --> 00:10:31,530 My lap can accommodate two trays, 220 00:10:31,657 --> 00:10:33,115 And I can't feel the spills. 221 00:10:33,242 --> 00:10:36,201 "she was found in a creek, her bosoms frozen solid." 222 00:10:36,287 --> 00:10:39,913 She was a heavyset 60-something in welder's coveralls. 223 00:10:39,999 --> 00:10:42,416 "no one from beverly hills had ever been strangled 224 00:10:42,501 --> 00:10:44,335 By their own cheerleader skirt before." 225 00:10:44,462 --> 00:10:45,753 (gasps) 226 00:10:45,921 --> 00:10:48,756 Wow, I can't believe I'm seeing how the sausage is made. 227 00:10:48,841 --> 00:10:52,259 Hey, so when you open a book and you see "random house," 228 00:10:52,345 --> 00:10:54,386 Is that something we come up with? 229 00:10:54,430 --> 00:10:57,139 Uh, no, that's-that's the publisher's name. 230 00:10:57,266 --> 00:10:59,350 I see. Just drinking it all in. 231 00:10:59,435 --> 00:11:01,477 And what about the list of cities you see under that name? 232 00:11:01,562 --> 00:11:04,938 Because I was thinking we should put new york, paris, kokomo. 233 00:11:05,024 --> 00:11:07,358 Those are just the cities where the publisher has offices. 234 00:11:07,443 --> 00:11:09,234 And kokomo isn't a real city, joe. 235 00:11:09,362 --> 00:11:11,236 Try telling the beach boys that. 236 00:11:11,322 --> 00:11:13,739 I don't know what our title should be yet, but beneath it, 237 00:11:13,824 --> 00:11:16,700 It should say: "soon to be a major motion picture." 238 00:11:16,827 --> 00:11:18,994 I always buy the book when I see that. 239 00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:20,496 Why don't we just focus on the writing? 240 00:11:20,623 --> 00:11:21,955 Oh, hey, you ever see books 241 00:11:22,041 --> 00:11:23,957 Where the edges of the pages are gold? 242 00:11:24,126 --> 00:11:26,502 -Yeah? -So cool. 243 00:11:31,801 --> 00:11:33,217 What is going on in here? 244 00:11:33,302 --> 00:11:35,260 Who put price tags on all the cans? 245 00:11:35,346 --> 00:11:37,596 And why is everything labeled 69 cents? 246 00:11:37,723 --> 00:11:40,933 Peter (muffled): Griffin family grocery is currently under renovation. 247 00:11:41,102 --> 00:11:42,976 Please excuse our dust. 248 00:11:43,062 --> 00:11:44,686 Peter? Where are you? 249 00:11:44,772 --> 00:11:47,022 Staring at butts from behind a one-way mirror. 250 00:11:47,108 --> 00:11:48,899 And why'd you rearrange everything? 251 00:11:49,026 --> 00:11:50,526 I just want to find my vitamins. 252 00:11:50,653 --> 00:11:53,153 Cupboard four. No, that's cupboard seven. 253 00:11:53,239 --> 00:11:54,863 No, wrong way. 254 00:11:54,949 --> 00:11:57,116 I'm not... Is it warmer or colder? 255 00:11:57,201 --> 00:11:59,243 Cupboard four. Cupboard four. 256 00:12:00,162 --> 00:12:01,703 (alarm blaring) 257 00:12:01,831 --> 00:12:04,123 Ma'am, don't worry, this happens all the time. 258 00:12:04,291 --> 00:12:05,916 I'm sure you have your receipt. 259 00:12:06,001 --> 00:12:07,709 What? No, I don't have a receipt. 260 00:12:07,795 --> 00:12:10,170 Okay, then, we're just gonna go to the office, 261 00:12:10,339 --> 00:12:13,424 Call your parents, and send you on your way. 262 00:12:14,969 --> 00:12:17,094 -Daddy, I just... -There are gonna be some changes around here. 263 00:12:17,179 --> 00:12:19,054 First off, no more lipstick. 264 00:12:19,140 --> 00:12:21,890 That's how all this trouble started. 265 00:12:26,230 --> 00:12:27,312 Okay, so we just need the ending. 266 00:12:27,398 --> 00:12:28,522 Who was the murderer? 267 00:12:28,607 --> 00:12:31,316 Oh, I have no idea. It's a cold case. 268 00:12:31,402 --> 00:12:33,861 That's what makes 'em cold-- no one knows how to solve 'em. 269 00:12:33,946 --> 00:12:35,112 Well, how do we finish our novel 270 00:12:35,197 --> 00:12:37,573 If we don't know what happened in real life? 271 00:12:37,658 --> 00:12:39,074 -Ghost cop. -No. 272 00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:40,200 Do you know what this means? 273 00:12:40,327 --> 00:12:42,202 We're gonna put on our sherlock holmes hats 274 00:12:42,371 --> 00:12:44,371 And solve the murder ourselves? 275 00:12:44,457 --> 00:12:46,832 Deerstalker hats, joe. But yes. 276 00:12:46,917 --> 00:12:49,543 Stupid nonwriter! 277 00:12:52,381 --> 00:12:54,289 Okay, brian, now, when you're visiting 278 00:12:54,341 --> 00:12:55,841 The family of a deceased victim, 279 00:12:55,968 --> 00:12:57,342 You need to hold a hat over your chest. 280 00:12:57,428 --> 00:12:58,719 It shows you care. 281 00:12:58,846 --> 00:13:00,888 All I have is this crown from our burger king lunch. 282 00:13:01,015 --> 00:13:02,306 Hat's a hat. 283 00:13:03,601 --> 00:13:06,393 How can I help you, officer and your highness? 284 00:13:06,553 --> 00:13:10,230 Hi, yes. We're here with many questions about your daughter. 285 00:13:10,316 --> 00:13:12,024 You know, the dead one? You-you remember her? 286 00:13:12,109 --> 00:13:13,734 We'd love any details. 287 00:13:13,819 --> 00:13:15,861 Is this some sort of sick joke? 288 00:13:15,946 --> 00:13:17,196 I assure you it's not, ma'am. 289 00:13:17,281 --> 00:13:19,031 We're writing a future hit novel 290 00:13:19,116 --> 00:13:20,199 Based on your daughter's murder. 291 00:13:20,326 --> 00:13:21,617 We just need to know who did it. 292 00:13:21,660 --> 00:13:24,328 And, between us, it'd be great if one of you did. 293 00:13:24,413 --> 00:13:26,079 What is this? What do you want? 294 00:13:26,165 --> 00:13:27,956 Did you know jonbenét ramsey's dad 295 00:13:28,042 --> 00:13:30,584 Dated natalee holloway's mom? 296 00:13:30,669 --> 00:13:32,169 What does that have to do with our case? 297 00:13:32,254 --> 00:13:34,087 Well, nothing, it's just kind of weird, right? 298 00:13:34,173 --> 00:13:37,132 Do you happen to have any grainy video footage 299 00:13:37,218 --> 00:13:40,219 Of her singing an emotional song at a talent show? 300 00:13:40,304 --> 00:13:41,720 Maybe green day's "time of your life"? 301 00:13:41,847 --> 00:13:44,723 That would really bust this project wide open for us. 302 00:13:44,892 --> 00:13:46,850 You're both unwell. 303 00:13:48,312 --> 00:13:49,686 Well, that was a bust. 304 00:13:49,813 --> 00:13:52,397 Sorry, I've been holding this in since burger king. 305 00:13:52,483 --> 00:13:54,358 Oh, seriously? You're just gonna leave that there? 306 00:13:54,485 --> 00:13:57,152 These people have suffered a terrible loss. 307 00:13:57,279 --> 00:13:59,404 At least cover it with leaves or something. 308 00:13:59,573 --> 00:14:00,906 Ugh, fine. 309 00:14:04,578 --> 00:14:06,245 Joe, look. I found something. 310 00:14:07,206 --> 00:14:09,623 -It's a key to a storage unit. -How do you know that? 311 00:14:09,708 --> 00:14:12,167 Yeah, me and bonnie have been doing a fun role-play thing 312 00:14:12,294 --> 00:14:14,211 Where she dresses up like a sexy maid 313 00:14:14,296 --> 00:14:17,422 And then locks me in a storage unit while guys come over. 314 00:14:17,508 --> 00:14:19,383 -Oh. -Yeah, it's pretty kinky. 315 00:14:19,510 --> 00:14:22,469 I, uh, I play the role of a sexy armoire, 316 00:14:22,555 --> 00:14:24,054 Waiting in another room. 317 00:14:24,139 --> 00:14:26,932 Sounds like she just wants you out of the house for a while. 318 00:14:27,017 --> 00:14:29,351 Nah. No. 319 00:14:34,358 --> 00:14:36,400 It's okay, lois. It's a big store. 320 00:14:36,527 --> 00:14:38,110 You may not even run into peter. 321 00:14:38,237 --> 00:14:41,154 Good morning. How much are the mussels? 322 00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:43,407 $34 a month at bally's total fitness. 323 00:14:43,492 --> 00:14:44,866 -(bell chimes) -peter? 324 00:14:44,994 --> 00:14:46,535 Why are you behind the fish counter? 325 00:14:46,579 --> 00:14:49,705 I got a promotion, emphasis on the "otion." 326 00:14:49,832 --> 00:14:51,123 -(bell chimes) -fine. 327 00:14:51,208 --> 00:14:52,833 What do you got that's fresh? 328 00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:54,376 Well, I got a teenage son at home. 329 00:14:54,420 --> 00:14:56,295 -What a mouth on that kid. -(bell chimes) 330 00:14:56,380 --> 00:14:59,131 That's it! You have ruined groceries for me! 331 00:14:59,258 --> 00:15:01,592 Get the hell out of my store, you imbecile! 332 00:15:01,677 --> 00:15:04,595 Um, excuse me, miss, did you just yell at this employee? 333 00:15:04,722 --> 00:15:06,096 You're damn right I did. 334 00:15:06,181 --> 00:15:08,223 He has no business being here. 335 00:15:08,309 --> 00:15:10,851 This man is a member of the stop 'n shop family. 336 00:15:10,978 --> 00:15:13,061 He has every business being here. 337 00:15:13,147 --> 00:15:15,230 You, on the other hand, will have to go. 338 00:15:15,357 --> 00:15:16,523 You're banned from the store. 339 00:15:16,609 --> 00:15:18,233 (chuckles nervously): What? No. 340 00:15:18,360 --> 00:15:19,526 Y-you can't do this. 341 00:15:19,612 --> 00:15:21,403 I have shopped here my whole life. 342 00:15:21,530 --> 00:15:23,488 Yes, we know. If it's any consolation, 343 00:15:23,574 --> 00:15:25,282 You'll be in the "in memoriam" section 344 00:15:25,409 --> 00:15:27,200 Of the grocery store oscars. 345 00:15:27,286 --> 00:15:29,077 ("I will remember you" by sarah mclachlan playing) 346 00:15:29,204 --> 00:15:35,042 ♪ I will remember you ♪ 347 00:15:36,211 --> 00:15:41,256 -♪ will you remember me? ♪ -(cheering) 348 00:15:42,509 --> 00:15:45,719 -♪ don't let your life... ♪ -(man coughs) 349 00:15:45,846 --> 00:15:48,680 Lois: No! No, no, no. You can't put me after betty white. 350 00:15:48,766 --> 00:15:51,058 Didn't brenda vaccaro die or something? 351 00:15:51,143 --> 00:15:52,643 (gasps) no. 352 00:15:52,728 --> 00:15:55,979 I live here in aisle four with the kotex tampons. 353 00:15:56,065 --> 00:15:58,106 (wheezing) 354 00:15:58,233 --> 00:15:59,983 Still more absorbent than the leading brand. 355 00:16:00,110 --> 00:16:01,568 (wheezing) 356 00:17:38,659 --> 00:17:40,493 The worst part is, I can't even go back 357 00:17:40,620 --> 00:17:42,370 To my favorite grocery store. 358 00:17:42,497 --> 00:17:44,955 I personally think you should give peter a taste 359 00:17:45,124 --> 00:17:48,501 Of his own medicine and get a job at his special place. 360 00:17:48,586 --> 00:17:50,503 The men's room at logan airport? 361 00:17:50,546 --> 00:17:52,296 No, the drunken clam. 362 00:17:52,382 --> 00:17:54,590 Oh, okay, 'cause he had this one experience there 363 00:17:54,717 --> 00:17:56,342 That he still talks about to this day, 364 00:17:56,427 --> 00:17:59,136 But that is an intriguing idea, bonnie. 365 00:17:59,263 --> 00:18:00,596 I'm glad you think so. 366 00:18:00,681 --> 00:18:03,265 Well, as white women in conversation, 367 00:18:03,351 --> 00:18:05,267 We're now obligated to spend five minutes 368 00:18:05,353 --> 00:18:07,186 Talking about sedona, arizona. 369 00:18:07,313 --> 00:18:08,979 -Oh, I'd love to go. -I know. 370 00:18:09,065 --> 00:18:12,400 My friend linda got a massage there after her divorce. 371 00:18:12,527 --> 00:18:14,485 And my friend trish bought a painting there. 372 00:18:14,570 --> 00:18:16,946 -Oh, we got to go. -We got to go. 373 00:18:20,743 --> 00:18:23,661 Hey, you two haven't seen peter, have you? 374 00:18:23,704 --> 00:18:25,704 Asking as a waitress trying to teach him a lesson 375 00:18:25,790 --> 00:18:28,499 By working at his favorite place, not as his wife. 376 00:18:28,584 --> 00:18:31,335 Whoa, check out the turd-cutter on the new chick. 377 00:18:31,421 --> 00:18:33,337 That's right. I work here now. 378 00:18:33,464 --> 00:18:35,464 I'm gonna be here all the time. 379 00:18:35,550 --> 00:18:37,425 Oh, how does it feel to have someone invade 380 00:18:37,552 --> 00:18:39,176 Your special space? 381 00:18:39,262 --> 00:18:40,469 It feels great! 382 00:18:40,596 --> 00:18:42,179 Speaking of invading special places, 383 00:18:42,265 --> 00:18:43,305 How about this? 384 00:18:43,433 --> 00:18:45,349 Hey, sweetie, when do you get off work? 385 00:18:45,476 --> 00:18:47,726 Me and my wife are more friends at this point than anything. 386 00:18:47,812 --> 00:18:49,270 Don't get me wrong, she's a great gal, 387 00:18:49,355 --> 00:18:51,188 Raised my children, but time takes its toll, 388 00:18:51,315 --> 00:18:52,356 You know what I mean? 389 00:18:52,483 --> 00:18:53,983 What? My wife and I have an arrangement, 390 00:18:54,110 --> 00:18:56,694 So I'm not doing anything wrong here, technically. 391 00:18:56,779 --> 00:18:58,737 Ah, well, this isn't working. 392 00:18:58,781 --> 00:19:01,073 If you want to meet me in my car later, 393 00:19:01,159 --> 00:19:03,534 It's the one with the "blue lives matter" sticker. 394 00:19:03,619 --> 00:19:06,745 But, like, not for cops, it's for, it's for grover. 395 00:19:11,002 --> 00:19:12,501 Who's going in first? 396 00:19:12,587 --> 00:19:14,837 Kind of feels like you should since you're a dog. 397 00:19:14,922 --> 00:19:16,088 Are you scared, joe? 398 00:19:16,215 --> 00:19:18,132 Would a scared person do this? 399 00:19:18,217 --> 00:19:21,093 -(screams) -not so fast. 400 00:19:21,179 --> 00:19:23,262 (serial theme playing) 401 00:19:23,347 --> 00:19:24,763 Who is that? 402 00:19:24,849 --> 00:19:26,849 I'm guessing it's the lady from serial. 403 00:19:26,934 --> 00:19:30,478 Oh, I certainly wouldn't recognize a podcaster visually. 404 00:19:30,646 --> 00:19:33,147 -I'm sarah koenig. -Big fan of your work. 405 00:19:33,232 --> 00:19:35,858 No one turns another person's suffering into profit better. 406 00:19:35,985 --> 00:19:39,153 Listen up, I want this case for my podcast, 407 00:19:39,238 --> 00:19:40,488 So you need to drop it. 408 00:19:40,573 --> 00:19:43,157 And if you don't, I could make you disappear. 409 00:19:43,242 --> 00:19:45,484 We're sponsored by casper mattresses. 410 00:19:45,536 --> 00:19:47,912 That wasn't a threat. I have a code if you want it. 411 00:19:47,997 --> 00:19:50,164 Man: Stand down, sarah. 412 00:19:50,249 --> 00:19:52,041 I'm keith morrison, 413 00:19:52,168 --> 00:19:54,793 And I want this case for dateline. 414 00:19:54,921 --> 00:19:58,214 There are only a few hundred unsolved murders left, 415 00:19:58,299 --> 00:20:02,009 And there's a million true crime content creators. 416 00:20:02,136 --> 00:20:04,553 My grandson taught me that term. 417 00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:07,640 Who's "okay, boomer" now? 418 00:20:08,726 --> 00:20:11,602 We're npr's team of women with lisps 419 00:20:11,687 --> 00:20:13,729 And names nobody's ever had, 420 00:20:13,814 --> 00:20:17,608 Like sylvia delgado-smith, and audie takahashi o'shea. 421 00:20:17,735 --> 00:20:19,693 I'm chris hansen from to catch a predator, 422 00:20:19,820 --> 00:20:21,862 And I'm just here in case any of you 423 00:20:21,948 --> 00:20:23,197 Turn out to be pedophiles. 424 00:20:23,282 --> 00:20:25,491 Warm chocolate chip cookie, anyone? 425 00:20:25,618 --> 00:20:28,202 No! I claimed this cold case for serial. 426 00:20:28,287 --> 00:20:31,747 Not if I record a dateline first. 427 00:20:32,250 --> 00:20:34,750 (all grunting) 428 00:20:40,883 --> 00:20:42,633 (choking) 429 00:20:42,718 --> 00:20:44,677 ♪ ♪ 430 00:20:47,181 --> 00:20:48,556 (screaming) 431 00:20:48,683 --> 00:20:50,599 (grunting) 432 00:20:58,317 --> 00:21:01,610 Please... Rate and review my life. 433 00:21:01,696 --> 00:21:03,946 And someone take care of my dog 434 00:21:04,031 --> 00:21:06,991 You could usually hear in the background of my podcast. 435 00:21:07,076 --> 00:21:09,034 (gasping) 436 00:21:09,203 --> 00:21:10,369 (grunting) 437 00:21:11,372 --> 00:21:14,415 A foggy night at a storage unit in quahog. 438 00:21:14,458 --> 00:21:17,334 The sleepy little town of quahog 439 00:21:17,420 --> 00:21:21,130 Is usually all tucked in by 10:00 p.M. 440 00:21:21,215 --> 00:21:23,257 (clamoring) 441 00:21:23,342 --> 00:21:25,217 You know what? We're no better than them. 442 00:21:25,344 --> 00:21:27,094 We've been exploiting the victim's life 443 00:21:27,179 --> 00:21:28,804 For our own personal gain. 444 00:21:28,889 --> 00:21:31,098 I-I think it's time for us to abandon writing this book. 445 00:21:31,183 --> 00:21:35,311 Or... Maybe we set it to rap lyrics and take it to broadway? 446 00:21:35,479 --> 00:21:37,313 I think we're done here. 447 00:21:38,482 --> 00:21:40,316 You know, joe, even though it didn't work out, 448 00:21:40,443 --> 00:21:42,067 It was nice to spend some time with someone 449 00:21:42,194 --> 00:21:43,694 Who actually believed in my writing. 450 00:21:43,779 --> 00:21:47,573 Well, as someone who's never read a book, I absolutely do. 451 00:21:51,203 --> 00:21:54,330 The waitress from the clam! Holy crap, has lois seen you?! 452 00:21:54,415 --> 00:21:55,456 We really don't have an arrangement. 453 00:21:55,583 --> 00:21:56,457 You got to get out of here! 454 00:21:56,584 --> 00:21:58,000 Oh, peter, enough. 455 00:21:58,085 --> 00:22:00,294 -What's the matter? -You wouldn't understand. 456 00:22:00,338 --> 00:22:02,630 Okay. 457 00:22:04,008 --> 00:22:06,050 I'd get back in there, chief. 458 00:22:07,219 --> 00:22:09,762 (sighs) chris made me come back. 459 00:22:09,847 --> 00:22:12,014 Oh, honey, the grocery store isn't just 460 00:22:12,099 --> 00:22:14,141 Where I buy food for the family. 461 00:22:14,226 --> 00:22:15,476 It's my escape. 462 00:22:15,561 --> 00:22:17,728 My refuge from being pestered 463 00:22:17,813 --> 00:22:19,229 With dumb questions from the kids, 464 00:22:19,315 --> 00:22:20,981 Or having to clean up your messes. 465 00:22:21,108 --> 00:22:24,318 Sometimes, just a stroll down the ethnic food aisle 466 00:22:24,403 --> 00:22:26,862 Makes me feel like I'm in a north african bazaar. 467 00:22:26,989 --> 00:22:28,864 Yeah, I don't like the smells on that aisle. 468 00:22:29,033 --> 00:22:32,201 -And I don't know, it's hard to explain, but... -There's more?! 469 00:22:32,286 --> 00:22:34,870 It's not just a grocery store to me. 470 00:22:34,955 --> 00:22:37,039 There's a whole community of people there 471 00:22:37,124 --> 00:22:38,540 Who feel like family. 472 00:22:38,626 --> 00:22:41,001 And now, now I have nothing. 473 00:22:41,087 --> 00:22:45,214 Aw, lois, I'm so sorry for ruining your happy place. 474 00:22:45,299 --> 00:22:47,049 And I'm gonna take care of it. 475 00:22:47,134 --> 00:22:49,468 Just like I've been taking care of that egg since high school. 476 00:22:49,637 --> 00:22:52,429 Oh, my god, I forgot to pick him up from soccer practice! 477 00:22:53,349 --> 00:22:56,392 Hey, do you need me to call your yolks? 478 00:22:59,188 --> 00:23:00,771 Look, you got to let lois come back. 479 00:23:00,856 --> 00:23:03,190 Please remove the ban. She loves this place. 480 00:23:03,275 --> 00:23:04,441 I'm sorry, but I can't do that. 481 00:23:04,527 --> 00:23:06,902 She yelled at a mentally-challenged person, 482 00:23:06,987 --> 00:23:08,028 And that's unforgivable. 483 00:23:08,197 --> 00:23:09,571 What? I'm not mentally challenged. 484 00:23:09,657 --> 00:23:11,490 You're not? But that's literally 485 00:23:11,575 --> 00:23:13,450 The only reason we hired you. 486 00:23:13,494 --> 00:23:16,954 Would a mentally challenged person be able to do this? 487 00:23:21,168 --> 00:23:23,502 Your name tag says "big petey." 488 00:23:23,587 --> 00:23:25,587 (scoffs) why do you think we all gather round 489 00:23:25,715 --> 00:23:27,339 And applaud you while you ride 490 00:23:27,383 --> 00:23:28,966 The coin-operated horse out front? 491 00:23:29,051 --> 00:23:30,300 'cause I'm good at horses? 492 00:23:30,386 --> 00:23:32,720 Wow. (chuckles) I really thought... 493 00:23:32,805 --> 00:23:35,097 You know, we don't let all our employees insist 494 00:23:35,224 --> 00:23:37,975 The customers feel their muscles after bagging their order. 495 00:23:38,018 --> 00:23:39,226 Right? 496 00:23:39,353 --> 00:23:40,394 Okay, fine. 497 00:23:40,521 --> 00:23:42,354 Lois can come back, but you're fired. 498 00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:44,189 I need you to turn in your gun and badge. 499 00:23:44,358 --> 00:23:46,775 Well, I guess my work here is done. 500 00:23:46,902 --> 00:23:48,569 To the mickey-copter! 501 00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:52,364 See, disney? 502 00:23:52,450 --> 00:23:54,533 Nothing here but respectful synergy.